Live, Laugh, Love, Job Hunt

8/8/2019 Live, Laugh, Love, Job Hunt

1/6Page 1 Copyright 2009, TheLadders. All rights reserved. Page 1

Striking the perfect balance between work

and play is hard enough to do without fam-

ily and health emergencies, much less a job

search. To manage all the surprises that

come your way, take a note from the fami-

lies who have gotten through it all.

Live, Laugh,Love, Job Hunt

By Debra Donston-Miller

FOR MOST OF US, the work-life balance is adelicate one. We carefully mete out our time,resources and energy to our bosses, co-workers,

spouses, kids, parents, friends, pets, charities and if all goes perfectly as planned ourselves.

The slightest change can upset the balance. A bigchange such as a job loss has the potentialto bring everything crashing down.

IM A PRETTY PLUGGED-IN professional: Blackberry,laptop computer, cellular modem But the mostimportant piece of hardware to keep me on task is on my

keychain: a little electronic photo album my family got me

from Brookstone. On there are photos of my wife, my

kids and even a selection of our favorite pets. After all,

theyre the people (and critters) I share my successes with

and my single best reason to stick with it when the goinggets tough.

I know a lot of us feel that way about the balance of workand the rest of our lives. So what happens when personal

circumstances and professional pressures converge? Ill-ness, marital strains and other demands are tough to handle

all by themselves; what happens when these circumstancesarise during your job search?

Debra Donston-Miller starts the conversation with this

special report, as TheLadders speaks to real job seekers

and career experts about how to strike a balance when

youre buffeted from both sides.

TheLadders editorial team wants to hear your stories,

too; please write in to [email protected] to tell

us what work/life issues strike closest to your home.

When Life HappensBy Matthew Rothenberg, Editor-in-Chief, TheLadders.com

WORK-LIFE

What did you think of this package? Got a story of your own to tell? Have ideas for future coverage? Please write Editor-in-Chief Matthew Rothenbergat [email protected].

Job Search Tips: Balancing the JobSearch and Life Page 2

Should You Tell the Kids You LostYour Job? Page 4

How to Weather a Work-Life StormPage 5

IN THIS PACKAGE:

Betty Priday (bottom right) with her family, including mother, Joan Kolberg,

whose illness and death in March impacted her job search.
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2/6

Page 2 Live, Laugh, Love, Job Hunt

In todays economy, a job loss can be especially upsetting to the work-life balance because the resulting job hunt may extend for several months.

With jobs scarce and job hunters plentiful, looking for work becomes a fulltime job. However, unlike most full-time positions, the job hunt offers no pay; nosecurity; and perhaps most signicantly no structured time off. This makesit more difcult to maintain that delicate balance we call life.

When youre on the job search, you dont get vacation time or even a lunchhour. It becomes a personal and nancial necessityto balance your other responsibilities and keep thoseunexpected events like family emergencies from upsetting your job search.

Betty Priday knows this only too well.

She lost her position as an EDI consultant at Cardinal Health because a required relocation wouldhave meant moving her elderly mother who wasin the care of Priday and her family from Wisconsin to Ohio.

Priday had 18 months notice to prepare for thechange, and used the time to get her resume and

affairs in order. But she couldnt predict that her mother would suddenly take illrequire more intensive care and pass away just a month after Priday left Cardinal

Priday also has three busy children (one in college); a husband who works in thereal-estate business (an industry struggling to get its footing); and health issuesof her own.

With all of this and more going on, said Priday, searching for a job has beenfatiguing.

Priday has sent out dozens of resumes and is working with a job-placement

consultancy. She said she has become frustrated with the inhuman quality of theprocess, where applicants must be an exact match and where thoughtful, heartfeltapplications receive an automated response if they receive any response at all

The power of records

So how does she keep it all together?

Organization is key, Priday said. For example, after hearing from a friend whohad to fake her way through a telephone response to an application because thefriend wasnt sure which job was being referred to, Priday has started keepingcareful records.

I keep a spreadsheet, she said. It includes the date I applied for a job, the job

title and where I heard about it.Priday said she also copies descriptions of the jobs she applies for in a Micro

soft Word document so shell be ready if someone calls. Recruiters also recommend job seekers keep track of which version of their resume and cover letter

went with which application to be sure theyre not surprised in an interview bydetails omitted from one version of their resume but present on another.

Priday is also setting job-hunting goals. For example, she attempts to send outtwo or more applications every week, and she is now going back and followingup on applications she has already submitted.

1. Keep records, stay organized

Dont be caught off guard when

a recruiter calls about a position

and you cant remember whichone of 85 jobs she is referring to.

Create a spreadsheet

with dates, job titles and

recruiters names.

Keep job descriptions/

requirements at the ready

to reference, so youre

prepared to speak to

specic skills.

Track the resume versions

you send with every job

application. Be prepared

to speak to the skills you

included and avoid the

ones you omitted from

specic versions.

2. Set goals

Budget time for the job search

each week, and stick to it. Set re-

alistic goals for the number of

applications to send, contacts

to make and networking events

to attend. That way, you dont

beat yourself up for not making

Job Search Tips:Balancing the JobSearch and Life

Carve out time for your life and the

job search so the two co-exist and

dont compete.

By Debra Donston-Miller

Priday


3/6

Page 3Live, Laugh, Love, Job Hunt

Goals are key to balancing the job hunt effectively amid other responsibilitiesand keeping your sanity, said Raoul Encinas, a board member of the Scottsdale

Job Network and vice president of Preod, a professional-services rm based inPrinceton, N.J.

As a job seeker, you need your own plan or a time budget each week, saidEncinas, who is also the chair of SJNs Curriculum Committee. If you haveother demands on your time, then budgeting ve, 15, 25 hours a week for your

job-seeking activity is ne. You then need to tailor your weekly goals to your budget. If your normal weeklygoal is to have 10 one-on-one networking meetings a

week, but you can only allocate 20 hours, then changeyour goal to ve meetings a week. That way, at the endof the week, you dont beat yourself up for not makingprogress on your job-search goals.

And all those other people vying for your time andattention? Enlist them in the process, said Katy Pi-otrowski, a career counselor at the Career SolutionsGroup and author of The Career Cowards Guides.

If your job search is truly a priority, reect that inyour behavior, Piotrowski said. Delegate chores toother family members so that you have the time to in-

vest in your next career step. Remember, your advance-ment will benet them also.

Experts also advise job seekers to be open and hon-est with family and friends about what they are goingthrough and to set realistic expectations.

Job seekers should talk to their children about the re-alities of todays economy and about how a job searchcan sometimes take a long time. It may be difcult for

them to realize that you may not be able to get a job to-morrow and that it may take prolonged effort over anextended period of time to get the right job for you, saidSharon Reed Abboud, author of the new book All Moms Work: Short-TermCareer Strategies for Long-Range Success.

Stay healthy, stay sharp

One person who often is neglected during the job search is the job seeker.

Mental-health and career experts advocate making time for exercise and fa-vorite activities, no matter how desperate the search becomes. In fact, the moredesperate the search becomes, the more important these activities may be, as theycan prevent job seekers from entering a state of depression.

But remaining active is also an important part of maintaining that elusive work-life balance during the job search, Priday said.

What I do when I get tired is get up and do something physical weed,move owers, mow the lawn, she said. It takes me away from the stress ofthe job search.

Priday has also been taking the time to create family pictorials, tracing the his-tory of family members, including her mother. She said this has been a healthydistraction: Family albums bring you back to whats important in life.

progress on your job search goals,

said Raoul Encinas, a board mem-

ber of the Scottsdale Job Network

and vice president of Preod, a

professional-services rm based in

Princeton, N.J.

3. Enlist help

Delegate chores to other fam-

ily members so that you have the

time to invest in your next career

step. Remember, your advancement

will benet them also, said Katy

Piotrowski, a career counselor at the

Career Solutions Group and author

of The Career Cowards Guides.

4. Communicate

Job seekers should talk to their

children about the realities of to-

days economy and about how a job

search can sometimes take a long

time. It may be difcult for them

to realize that you may not be able

to get a job tomorrow and that it

may take prolonged effort over an

extended period of time to get the

right job for you, said Sharon Reed

Abboud, author of the new book

All Moms Work: Short-Term Ca-

reer Strategies for Long-Range Suc-

cess.

5. Stay healthy

Making time for exercise and fa-

vorite activities isnt a frivolous

luxury. Career experts and mental-health professionals say it is vital

to staying sharp while looking for

work. No matter how desperate the

search becomes, it is important to

avoid entering a depressive state

that can be a distraction in itself

and derail your job hunt.

Encinas

Piotrowski


4/6


SOME PEOPLE TELL ME they nd it very difcult evento nd the words to tell their children that theyve lost

their job. Does a 10-year-old child even know what the wordred or reduction in force means? And how much do

teenagers even really understand? Can you just blame the Rword: recession?

Lets face it, adults barely know what the word recession

means, so for your children of any age, they just know that dador mom is now home all day, not working.

I grew up in Armonk, N.Y. IBMs world headquarters. It

was the Microsoft town of the 1970s, and it was a different era

for job security.

In Armonk, almost everyones fatherworked for IBM. My friends whose dads(and in those days, it was only the dads) who worked at the global headquarters

in our town had already worked forIBM around the world. The kids alwaystold me that IBM stood for Ive BeenMoved. If you ended up at the world

headquarters, you had a job for life. Itwas like the Stepford Husbands: All the

fathers wore a white shirt, similar ties andblue suits. Back then, it seemed that noone ever lost his job.

I have to confess: Ive never been red myself, much less had

to explain it to my family. But todays economy has affected somany of my friends. Frankly, today, its the global reality.

But that doesnt make it any easier, especially when youre

thinking about what to tell the kids.

Its especially difcult if this is the rst time you have lost

your job.

Explaining it to your kids can be an emotional dilemma.When it comes down to it, whatever the reason, youve lostyour job. Downsized, right-sized, let go, position elimi-

nated Even if you got a great severance package, yourestill out of work. And none of this vocabulary helps explainit to your kids. They hear you networking on the phone andsee you spending a lot of time on the computer, but none of

it makes sense.

Dad lost his job. What does that mean? Did he misplace it?

Laid-off moms and dads tell me that sharing the newswith their children is one of the hardest things theyve evedone. There are many ways to do it, if you choose to do itat all.

The just tell the family straight out approach

A common approach is the just tell the family straight outphilosophy. Mom and dad sit down and tell the children to-gether. From the parents I have heard this from, it sounds al-most like theyre sitting their children down to tell them theyare getting divorced. For some of my friends, announcing adivorce would have been easier.

The just tell the truth family usuallyincludes a laid-off worker who got a greaseverance and can keep the benets package for a while. (Note: You may think thebuyout package is great now, but wait un-til you see how long it takes you to nda new job.) These parents just explain itThe kids are ve, 10, 17. Everyone getsthe story.

Of course, there can be a downsideWhat do you think your kids are thinking?Do they tell their friends? Your relatives?

(Ugh! The relatives! You almost forgoabout them, right?) What do you tell therelatives? Wow, getting red for anyonejust really sucks.

The dont worry the kids approach

Then I have other friends who really dont want their children to know. In some cases, its a pride thing. In others, because mom may have already lost more than one job, its a Idont want the kids to worry thing. These laid-off parentsactually get up in the morning, get dressed for work, and drivearound maybe stop at the mall or the gym until the kids

leave for school. Then its back home to start looking for workThis plan often goes awry when prospective employers call thehouse and leave messages your kids end up hearing. And howcan you network if youre so busy lying to your kids? This notelling the kids thing has got to be one stressful charade.

The tell them whats possible while youre still em-

ployed approach

So, how do you tell your kids youre unemployed? Or do youkeep it to yourself? Do you wait and see how long it takes to

Should You Tell the Kids You Lost Your Job?

The global reality of layoffs doesnt make it any easier to tell your children. Here are a few approaches to ease the

strain on your family.

By Stephen Viscusi

Laid-off momsand dads tell methat sharing thenews with theirchildren is one ofthe hardest thingstheyve ever done.

See KIDS Page 6


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Page 5Live, Laugh, Love, Job Hunt

MANY FAMILIES WITH CHILDREN DECIDE to build a

professional career around their roles as parents; theseare called dual-career families. One such example, the Callab-

rios family, recently weathered a work-life storm.

Tom, a successful eld engineer for a service-related tech-

nical rm, states, With three children under 10, my wife

Marys career as a CRNA took up a lot of time. But we man-

aged. My job took a hit about 10 months ago. My company

sent my job overseas and hired someone half my age at half

my base salary. We were used to living on what some may say

is a lot of money, and we lled up the buckets for college and

retirement vehicles. But with a special-needs son with autism,

we wanted to cut back and spend more time helping him and

our other children. So, in a way, we had

already weathered a work-life storm: a

potential lifetime of dealing with a son

with special needs. I think I just got very

focused on being creative and not just on

the money lost.

Mary said, Any family is a balanc-

ing act. Having two career paths is, and

so is having children. Add a special need

and career expectations of two Type-A personalities, plans and more change.

As someone in health care, I am used to

planning for change and dealing with ad-

versity. Its just a little different when its

youradversity. Educational plans and provisions for our future

always remained important. Until 10 months ago, our plan was

to make as much money as possible just in case our children,

and especially our son who has autism, needed more down the

road. But I would say our perspective changed a lot. In the last

10 months we not only weathered the storm but put more in

perspective about whats important in life. We had to weatherour own little hurricane. Its probably not too uncommon.

How are you like the Callabrios family? If you or your spouse

were to lose your job, would you be able to cover your basic

household expenses? Would you have to change your lifestyle?

Would cutting back hurt you or actually give you a new per-

spective on life? What if you have a child with special needs?

What if a spouse got hurt or became unable to perform be-cause of a health issue?

Whatever your special circumstance might be, here are a few

ways you can learn from the Callabrios family and prepare foryour own named hurricane:

Put your family rst.

Heres the key to stabilizing any nancial situation: Spend

your time and your money where it makes a difference. This iswhat will keep a job offer in your back pocket at all times, andits what will keep your bank account above the water in any

economy. It isnt as hard as it sounds, and the results will comesooner than you might expect. According to Mr. Callabrios, Ireally worked on alternative opportunities in eld engineering

and technology immediately after I was let go. This resulted in

cutting my hours from about 60 a week to 45 and not traveling12 business days a month. I spend more time working with

my children and teaching my special-needs

son reading. When I did that along with thebusiness things I should have been doinglike hiring a career coach and producing

a powerful resume, I saw things just startcoming to me in terms of contacts and opportunities.

Let adversity bring out your creativity.

Tom got creative about his career, and hisapproach led to more than gaining another

job. Mary states, Tom is still able to pro-duce close to six gures in income, but by

reinventing his career and cutting back, hein better health and we are closer. At the

time of his layoff we were seeking marital counseling. Its almost like adversity brought out our creative side. Now we arecloser as a total family. Tom worked on building his networkof friends and others. The new position he received was due to

his creative processes. Mary says, Tom helped invent a posi-tion that was only lightly advertised. He actually wrote some of

the job description himself.

Network your network.

Even if youre not currently looking for work, hiring decision-makers need a way to nd you. When companies have

an urgent need, they will look to the people they know. Ifsomeone had a requisition for your ideal job in hand, and youwere indeed the perfect candidate for this job, how would tha

person nd you? If you build a strong brand, and you make

How to Weather a Work-Life Storm

By John OConnor

Its almost likeadversity broughtout our creativeside. Now we arecloser as a total

family.

Tom Callabrios

See STORM Page 6


6/6


your name known, job offers will start to appear. I wanted to

keep people informed of my status, says Tom, so I kept in

touch. This helped me trim a long layoff. He also aggressively

and properly developed a powerful online

resume and took time to network on Linke-

dIn and at other professional and volunteer

events. He proactively sought to nd new

opportunities, advertised and unadvertised.

No matter how much you make, watch

what you spend.

To be honest, says Mary, we were stupid

with our money. We leased new cars, bought

things we didnt need, and we thought mon-

ey and things might replace time with our

kids. It wasnt intentional. We now have a

work-life that suits our family, and we donthave to buy it all. We are now teaching our

kids by example to be responsible; time is more important than

money. What expenses could you eliminate if you had to?

Could you pull money out of something thats currently an ex-

pense and re-invest that money into the development of your

personal brand or network?

If moneys tight, keep focused on activity that either in-

creases your income or reduces your expenses. Nothing else

will make a difference. Unfortunately, in the face of economic

storms, its easy to get caught up in unproductive distractions.

A number of critical brand-building activities dont yield in

come right away; it can sometimes be difcult to tell the differ-

ence between moving forward and spinning your wheels.

In times of economic volatility, hur-

ricanes can form from tropical storms

when youre not looking. No matter ifyour income matches that of the Cal-

labrios family or your situation mirrors

theirs, consider engaging, not just evac-

uating. The U.S. government says you

should have a to-go bag in case you

have to evacuate from your business or

home during a major storm or event.

Look at the facts and nancials, but put

yourself and your family rst. Then your

next work-life storm could become just

another setback thats a set-up for newperspective and opportunity.

John M. OConnor, MFA, is the president of Career Pro of NC

Inc., a comprehensive career-services organization specializing in execu-

tive outplacement, corporate outplacement and federal/military career

transition and consulting. He was appointed to the board of directors

(2006) for Raleigh-Wake Human Resources Management Association

(RWHRMA.org). He is also a Certifed Career Coach (CECC), Cer-

tifed Resume Writer (CRW) and Credentialed Career Master (CCM)

nd a new job? I would love to hear from you even if youre

still working how have you or would you tell your kids the

bad news?

Here is my advice. Everyone should be on orange alert. Becautious, prepared and ready. Have your resume up-to-date, no

matter how secure you feel.

Usually the rst thing our friends and family tell us when

they are red is that they were surprised. Surprised? Half of

the U.S. is unemployed, but everyones always shocked when ithappens to them. Explain to your children now the state of theeconomy. Tell them that mom and dad are lucky to be work-

ing, but you never know. Teach them not to judge their friendsparents who may have lost their jobs. Reassure them that it will

be okay, because eventually you will nd a new job.

Teach your children that the most important things inlife are health, family and being together. Mom or dad

can always nd another job, but having one another is

what really matters.

Stephen Viscusi is the author of Bulletproof Your Job (HarperCol-lins) and can be reached at [email protected]. He is also the founderand CEO of BulletproofYourResume.com, a Web site that creates cus-tom resumes.

We now have a

work-life that suitsour family and wedont have to buyit all. We are nowteaching our kidsby example to beresponsible; timeis more importantthan money.

Mary Callabrios

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Live, Laugh, Love, Job Hunt