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INTRODUCTIONManyofusoperateonautomaticpilot.Howmany timeshaveyou left
thehouseandthenlaterhavenorecollectionofyouractionssincethen—totheextentthatyouevenmightreturntocheckyouhaveactuallyshutorlockedyourfrontdoor?(Andyes,Ihavedonethat!)Toacertainextentweneedtooperatethatwaytogetthingsdoneinthetimewehaveavailable.Butproblemsarise
whenwespendthemajorityofourlifeinthisway—zoningoutofthe
small, everyday experiences that add color and texture to life. Our lack ofattention means we don’t notice or we miss much that is going on and thisaffectsourrelationships.Wemultitasksomuchthatweneverstoptotakestockofwhereweare—weareconstantlyleaningforwardtomoveontothe
nextthing.Orwemightbestuck;paralyzedwiththoughtsof“whatif”or“if
only” thatpreventusmoving forwardanddealingwithwhat isgoingonnow.Thenegativity thatarisesoutof thesestatesofmindaffectsusevenmoreandwemay becomeanxious or depressed, orwemay self-medicate
withdrugsandalcohol,andsothecyclecontinues.Veryoftenthecycleis
brokenonlybyamajorlifechange—anillnessoranaccident,abereavement,arelationshipbreakdown.Thesearethetypeofeventsthatjoltusawakeandmakeusquestion thewaywe live. It isoftenonlywheneverythingfallsapart
thatweareprepared(andforced)tomakeradicalchanges.
Idiscoveredmindfulnessbychance—browsingthelocallibrary’sshelvesIcameacrossJonKabat-Zinn’sbookFullCatastropheLiving.Despiteitsthickness,thesub-title of “How to cope with stress, pain and illness using mindfulnessmeditation”, soundedpromising for someonewhowas struggling tocopewithstress.Readingitwasoneofthose“lightbulb”momentsasIrealizedhowmuch
energyIwasexpendingtryingtokeepmylifeexactlyhowIthoughtitshouldberatherthanacceptinghowitactuallywas.TherealizationthatIcouldstopstruggling and start fromwhere I actually was, gaveme a huge
feelingofrelease—eventhoughtheacknowledgmentofthesizeof thegap
betweenrealityandexpectationswaspainful.
AtthesametimeIwasalreadyinterestedinmeditation,butIwasnotdrawntoany traditional Buddhist orders. I was struggling with the practicalities—forexample, in my yoga class the teacher would fold elegantly into the Lotuspositionandwewouldgointosilencefor20minutes.Iwouldclosemyeyesfor what seemed an age only to open them and realize that the
secondhandoftheclockhadbarelymoved.Iwouldsitcross-legged,in
agony, without a clue what I was supposed to be doing, and wonder howeveryoneelsemanagedtosittheresoserenely.Onethingledtoanother,inthewayitdoesifyouletthingsunfoldintheirowntime.Idiscoveredtherewasnoneed to contortmyself into an uncomfortable position; gradually, twominutesextendedtofive,thenafewmore,andsoon.
Takingonestepatatime(andafewbackward),Ibegantowalkthepathofmindfulness, keepingmyattention firmlyplaced inmy feet,while
retaining an overall sense of the direction I was heading in. My
experience of each step encouraged and informed the next.Mindfulness nowinfluencesandguidesmywholelife.Itseffectsarenotalwayseasytolivewith,and I often stumble and go off track, butconnecting toone’sown inner
wisdomandstrengthtakesyoutoaplaceofrichness.Wediscover
thatwehavetolearnthesamelessonsoverandoveragain—andthat’sokay—onenever“arrives,”butinsteadconstantlylearnsandgrows.
I have been influenced and taught so
much by so many. Much of that ispassedonhereinthespiritofsharingthatunderpinsBuddhistteachings,butany mistakes are mine. I hope thisbook will serve as a taster for thepossibilities that mindfulness
meditation can bring into your
own life and encourage you to
explore the subject further. Theemphasis is on experimenting withways to bring mindfulness into youreveryday life, anddoing this in smallstepsatapacethatfeelsrightforyou.Youhavealifetimeofmomentsfilledwithopportunityaheadofyou.
Before trying any of the meditations in the book, it may help to have someunderstandingofwhatmindfulnessis,whereitcomesfrom,andhowitisbeingusedtoday.Althoughitsrootsareover2,500yearsold,itisonlyinthelast30yearsorsothatithasbeenusedtherapeuticallyandbecomemoremainstream.InthischapterIalsohighlightthebenefitsofmindfulnessandexplainhowanyoneof us can draw out and cultivate these inherent qualities, as well as dispel
somecommonmisconceptionsaboutmeditation.
Thebookisdesignedfordippinginandoutof,butbeforeyoubeginpracticingIrecommendyoureadHowtoMaketheMostofthisBook.Thissectionhassomeimportant informationabouthowtoapproachthepracticesandgetthemost
fromthem,whilealwayslookingafteryourself.Tothatend,thereisalsosome
guidanceonpostureandhowtoassumeapositionofalertattentionthatissafeandrelaxed.Manyofthemeditations,though,canbedonewhileyouareoutandaboutindailylife.
Inmindfulnessmeditationwearedeliberatelycultivatingparticularattitudesthatwill support our practice and in this chapter Iwill explainwhat these are andhow they can benefit us—in everyday life as well as in the practices
themselves.
MINDFULNESSDEFINEDTobeginwith,itishelpfultohaveaclearunderstandingofwhatmindfulnessis:deliberatelypayingattentiontothingswenormallywouldnoteven
notice,andbecomingawareofourpresentmomentexperienceas
it arises, non-judgmentally, and with kindness and compassion.
Whenwe practicemindfulness, we pay attention towhat is happening in ourmindandourbody;toourthoughts—thestorieswetellourselves—aswellastoemotionsandphysicalsensationsastheyarearising.
ORIGINSOFMINDFULNESS
MindfulnessmeditationhasitsoriginsinBuddhistpracticesthatareover2,500years old. Prince Siddhartha, who became the Buddha, dedicated his life tofindingthecauseofsufferingandherecommendedmindfulnessasawayofovercoming grief, sorrow, pain, and anxiety, and of realizing
happiness.
In1979mindfulnessbegantobeusedtherapeuticallybyDrJonKabat-
Zinn and colleagues at the Stress Reduction Clinic at the University ofMassachusetts Hospital, USA. Kabat-Zinn developed the eight-weekMindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) program as a way of helpingpeoplelearntolivewithchronicmedicalconditions.Thesewerepeoplewhothedoctors could do nothing more for—for example, those with terminal illness,chronic back pain, or who had HIV. Many of them were suffering fromdepressionandanxietyasaresultoftheircondition.
InMBSR,mindfulnessiscultivatedthroughformalmeditationpractices,suchassitting and the body scan, as well as mindful movement, such as yoga, andinformalpracticesinwhichparticipantsbringmindfulnessmeditationintotheireveryday lives.Through thesepracticesparticipantsdiscoveradifferent
wayofbeingwiththeirsuffering.Theprogramcultivatesqualitiessuchas
patience, acceptance, and equanimity, which enable them to deal with stress,chronicpain,andillnesswithgreaterease,skill,andwisdom.Clinicalresearchhas shown that beneficial physical changes occur in participants
completing the course, including a stronger immune system, lower bloodpressure, and shifts in the way the brain deals with difficult emotions. ThebenefitsoftheMBSRprogramspreadbywordofmouthandthroughthemedia,anditwassoonofferedtopeopleofallagesinallwalksoflife.Today,MBSRprogramsarepopularinschools,prisons,andinthesportsandbusinessworlds,aswellasinhealthcare,wheretheyarepracticedasmuchbyhealthcare
providersasbypatientsthemselves.
In2001Mindfulness-BasedCognitiveTherapy(MBCT)wasdevelopedbyMarkWilliams, John Teasdale, and Zindel V. Segal. Based onMBSR, MBCT wasdeveloped specifically for the treatment of depression, but has since beenadapted for other clinical conditions, including anxiety, eating disorders, andaddictions.MBCTis recommendedbyNICE(theNational Institute forHealthandClinicalExcellence)intheUKforthetreatmentofdepressioninindividualswhohavesufferedthreeormoreepisodes.
In essence MBSR and MBCT are very similar. There is a difference in thatMBSRisusuallytaughttogenericgroupsofpeoplesufferingfromavarietyofphysical and psychological conditions or disorders and/or general life stress,whereasMBCTisusuallytaughttoagroupsufferingfromaspecificcondition,
suchasdepressionoranxiety,andsowouldincludecoursecontentappropriatefor that condition. However, the emphasis on the deliberate and non-judgmentalpresent-momentawarenessofone’sownexperienceis
atthecoreofbothMBSRandMBCT.
Theevidencebasefor the therapeuticusesofmindfulness-basedapproaches tohealthisgrowingallthetime.Researchiscommonlydonewithparticipantsonastructuredeight-weekcourse, incorporatingadailypracticeofbothformalandinformalmeditations,aswellasclassroomteaching.Thepracticesinthisbookare predominantly informal and, although they are not a substitute fortherapeuticcare,theyareagoodplacetostartpracticingmindfulnessifyouareabeginner.
Ifyoualreadyhavesomeexperienceofmindfulnessmeditation,Ihopethisbookwill encourage you to bring it more into your daily life. While the formalpracticesarewithoutdoubtimportant,themorewecanweavemindfulnessintothefabricofourlives,themorewewillreapthebenefits.
HOWTOMAKETHEMOSTOFTHISBOOK
The book has been divided into different chapters. If you are new tomindfulness,Irecommendyoustartwithsomeofthebody-focusedpracticesinChapter2,Tuning in to theBody.Thesewill introducesomecoreskills,such as breath awareness and moving the attention around the
body, which are needed for practices in which we learn to “be with the
difficult,” such as pain or anxiety. It is always best to take small steps
ratherthanjumpinatthedeepend.Chapter5,WeavingYourParachute
hassomefoundationalpracticesthatunderpinandcultivateattitudesandskills,whichwillhelpyougetthemostoutofallthemeditations.Onceyouareusedtofocusingonthebreath,itisfinetodipinandoutofthedifferentsections.
A key component of mindfulness is thewillingness to turn toward the
difficult—uncomfortablesensationsinthebody,painfulemotions,orunwanted
thoughts.Asourawareness increaseswenoticemuch thatpreviouslywehavetuned out from because it was unpleasant or painful, either physically or
psychologically. Paying attention to the body can also bring old
emotions to the surface. All of this means that, while mindfulness
meditation can have many benefits, it can also be stressful and, at times,difficult. If at any time you feel overwhelmed, it is important that you stopimmediately. It does not mean that you will never be able to practicemindfulness,butperhapsitmightbebettertodoitwiththesupportofateacheroratatimewhenthingsarelessstressfulforyou.If indoubt,alwaysseektheadviceofyourdoctor.
I recommend that you take the time to read through the following guidancebefore embarking on any of the practices.When you come to do a practice, Isuggestyoureaditthroughafewtimesandthensetasidethebookandhaveago. There is never just one way to do something and the
instructions are for guidance only. The more you do the practices the
more you will make them your own, using your own words, phrases, andrhythms that will have a particular resonance for you. Feel free also tomakepractices longer or shorter as you wish. Many of them can be extended towhatevertimeyouhaveavailable.
Themoreyoudothepracticesthemoreyouwillmakethemyour
own,usingyourownwords,phrases,andrhythms
REMEMBER
★Mindfulnessisaboutdeliberatelypayingattentiontoyourexperience,
withoutjudgment,asitunfolds—noticingwhatishappeningphysicallyinthe
bodyandwhere.Italsoinvolvesbeingawareofwhatemotionsarearising
andthetoneofthesefeelings,aswellasnoticingthestorieswetellourselves.
★Theemphasisisalwaysonwhatishappening,notwhyitishappening.
★Weuseoursenses—sight,sound,taste,touch,andsmell—toexploreour
experience.
★Weneverlookforaparticularexperience.Thereisnorightorwrong
experience.Whateveryourexperienceis,thisisyourexperienceinthis
moment.
★Ifatanytimeyougetlostinapractice,justbringyourattentionbackto
thephysicalsensationsofbreathing.
QUESTIONSYOUMIGHTASKYOURSELFWHILE
PRACTICINGARE:
★WhatamIfeelingphysicallyinmybody?Noticewhatthesensationis,
whereitislocatedanditsparticularcharacteristic—forexample,whetheritis
constantorchanging,andsoon.
★WhatamIfeelingemotionally?Ifyouidentifyaparticularemotion—for
example,anger—askyourself:HowdoIknowIamfeelingangry?Wheream
Iexperiencingangerinmybody?Whatdothephysicalsensationsofanger
feellike?HowwouldIdescribethem?
★Whatthoughtsarearising?WhatstoriesamItellingmyselfaboutmy
experience?
Youcandomanyofthepracticeswhileyouareoutandabout in
yourdailylife—standinginlines,orsittinginyourcarorawaitingroom.Butforothersyouwillneedtofindaquietplacewhereyouwon’tbe
disturbed.Ihaveknownstudentswhoretiretothebathroomatworkinorder
tohaveafewminutesundisturbedmeditationtime!
Whereveryouare,Isuggestyouturnofforunplugyourphone.Ifyouare
worried about finishing at a particular time, I would recommend setting yourphone to vibrate or using a timer or alarm clock, but perhaps put it under acushion or a pillow so that the sudden ringing does not startle you toomuch.Thereissomeguidanceaboutposture.
Somepeople findkeepingameditation journalhelpful so that theycan recordtheirexperiences,andnowadaysthereareevenphoneappsthatallowyoutodothis.
It is easy foryourmindfulnesspractice tobe relegated toyet another itemonyour list of things to do, so I suggest you keep it simple and perhaps
focus on just one practice to start with. It’s best to do one practice
several times a week, or whenever you remember, before experimentingwithsomethingnew.Congratulateyourselfonwhatyoudomanagetodoratherthanberateyourselfforwhatyoudon’taccomplish.
HOWCANMINDFULNESSHELPUS?Thebodyhasabuilt-inalarmsystem,whichiscalledthe“stressreaction”anditalsohasacorresponding“calmingresponse.”Thisalarmsystem,knownasthe“fight-or-flight” mechanism, has ensured our evolutionary survival, butnowadaystoooftenitistriggeredrepeatedlybyeverydaystressesratherthanthelifeordeathsituationsofourancestors.However,mindfulnesscanhelptoswitch off the stress reaction and to activate the calming
response.
We all suffer from stress, so it is useful to have some understanding ofwhatstress is and the role it plays in our lives. It is a complex subject and thefollowingexplanationhasbeengreatlysimplified,butthereareplentyofbooksinwhichyoucanreadaboutthestressresponseinmoredetail.
Thehumanbody ishot-wiredforstress.Theeffectivenessofourstressreaction has ensured our survival and consequently our default
setting isoneofhypervigilance. The “enemies”we face todaymay be
different from thoseour hunter-gatherer ancestors encountered, but theway inwhich we process danger remains the same. In fact, the fight-or-flightmechanismisoperatedbytheamygdala,oneofthemostprimitivepartsofourbrain.
The brain is constantly processing information received throughour senses. Ifsomething or someone is perceived as a threat, the body’s alarm system isactivated instantly, preparing it to fight or flee by diverting all the body’sresourcestodealwiththeemergency.
★Energy,asepinephrine(adrenaline),isreleased–aswellasotherstress
hormonesthatactivatethebody’semergencysystems–tohelpyourunfaster
orfightthedanger.
★Theheartspeedsup,beatingthreeorfourtimesfasterthanusualtopump
bloodaroundthebodyasquicklyaspossible,sothatthearmsandlegscan
functionoptimallytofightorrun.
★Long-termbodilyfunctions,suchasgrowth,digestion,andthe
reproductivesystem,areshutdown—therationalebeingthatifyouarekilled
bythethreat,youwon’tneedtogrow,digestyourfood,orreproduce.
★Thebodyevacuatesanywastematter,whichisextraweight,sothatitisas
lightaspossibletoflee.Thisiswhywemayfeeltheneedtovisitthe
bathroomwhenwearestressed.
You may notice how your skin goes clammy in stressful moments. This isbecausebloodisbeingpulledawayfromthebody’ssurfacetosupporttheheartandmuscles,andtoreducebloodlossincaseofinjury.Youalsofeelbutterfliesin thestomachas thedigestivesystemisshuttingdown,andyourheartbeginsbeatingrapidlyasitpumpsfaster.Inaddition,yourpupilsdilatesothatyoucanseebetter;thescalptightensandyourhairseemstostandonend(yourbodyhairdoesthis,too)sothatyoucansensedangerthroughvibrations;yourmouthgoes
dry because fluid is being diverted from nonessential locations; and in somepeople,thethroatgoesintospasm.
Simultaneously, while the body is activated for action, the brain continues togatherinformationfromthesensesabouttheallegedthreat,aswellasfromthehighercentersofthebrain,accessingmemoriesandcomparingthethreatagainstany previous, similar experiences, including those we may have experiencedsecond-hand. What the brain discovers determines whether it deactivates ormaintains the alert. Ifwe respondnegatively towhatweare experiencing, thebrainwilldeterminethatsomethingbadishappeningtousandkeepthebodyonalert. Therefore, although our thoughts and our memories have an
importantroletoplayinsafeguardingusfromdanger, theycanalso
workagainstusandperpetuateanunfoundedthreat.
When the fight-or-flight mechanism is repeatedly and needlessly activatedthrough everyday stress, the consequences can be serious and our long-termbodysystemscanbecomevulnerabletodisease.Theconstantincreaseinbloodpressureheightensour riskof heart disease; the stresshormones affect insulinactivity and thereby increase the risk of diabetes; our immune system can becompromised;andourmemoryandour thoughtprocessesaredisrupted,soweoperate less efficiently. The presence of the stress hormone cortisol can causelong-termdamagebyoveractivating theamygdala, therebypromoting fearandnegativity. It also reduces neural branching and inhibits the growth of newneurons,soweremainstuckinold,fearfulbeliefs.Themoodwearein
affects our interpretation of events—a lowmood is more likely to produce anegativeinterpretationofaneutralevent.Excessivecortisolalsocausestheareaof the brain that produces new brain cells towither and die. Chronicstress
strengthens the negative networks in the brain and weakens the
positiveones.
Weoftencopewiththeseunpleasantreactionstostressbyartificialmeans,suchas consuming alcohol, taking medication, or working harder, which onlycompoundandperpetuatethecycle.
Surprisingly,perhaps,thesmalleverydaystressesaremoreharmfulto
usinthelongtermthanone-off,hugelystressfulevents.Andthemoreoften
thestressreactionisactivated,themorelikelyitisbetriggeredagain,givingthebody less and less time to recover. In thisway,we become stuck in a never-endingcycle.
Oncethestressreactionhasbeenactivated,thenaturalwaytoremovethe
stresshormones from thebody is throughaction—for our ancestors
this meant fighting or running away. Obviously, physically fighting or
running away are rarely options in our everyday lives, but any
exercise, such as walking vigorously, running, or swimming, can achieve thesameresultsandbringthebodybacktoastateofequilibrium.Unfortunately,wecannotalwaystakeexerciseatthemomentoffeelingstressed.
However,wecanactivatethecalmingresponsethroughmindfulness
andwecandothisanywhere. Ifwecaninterveneat thepointwherethe
brainisgatheringfurtherinformationabouttheperceivedthreat,wecanrespondratherthanreact,aswecancontextualizeandinterpretthesituationmorewisely.Wecansee the threatforwhat it really is—andif it isafalsealarm, thestressreaction is deactivated.We can do this bynoticingwhat ishappening to
us, paying attention to the uncomfortable physical sensations, and thereby
shifting from thinkingabout the threat andallof thepossible consequences tosimply experiencing it as it unfolds. Mindfulness breaks the cycle of
rumination,whichkeepstheamygdalainthealertposition.
Practicing mindfulness de-sensitizes the stress trigger and thereby allows thebody to return to a state of equilibrium rather than remain hyper vigilant.Peoplewhopracticemindfulnessstillexperiencestress,andmay
actuallyfeelemotionsmorestrongly,buttheyarelesslikelytobe
overcomebyitandtheyarelikelytorecovermorequickly.
How stressful an event is for us depends on how we perceive it. If we canchange the way we perceive an event, we can change our response to it. Somindfulness canactivate thebody’s built-in calming response. It can
alsohelpusinotherways.
Research after the eight-weekMBSR course has shown that physical changesoccur in the body: blood pressure can be reduced, the immune systemstrengthened,andthebraincanevenchangethewayitprocessesinformation.A
study by Richard Davidson and colleagues discovered that after an MBSRcourse, participants showed amarked shift in brain activation toward the areabetterabletohandledifficultemotions.Ithadbeenpreviouslybelievedthiswasasetpointineachindividualthatwasmoreorlessfixedforlife,butDavidson’sresearchshowed thatwecanactually influenceandchangeourbrain
tomakeitworkforthebetter.
There are also psychological benefits.Mostofusspend themajorityof
time in our heads rather thanour bodies.We problem-solve ourway
through life andwhile that can be effective in the office orwhen runningourhome,wecannottreatouremotionsinthesameway.Whenwetrytodoso,webecomecaughtinaspin-cycleofthinking,replayingeventsoverandoverinourmindinawaythatisunhelpfulandcanspiralintoanxietyanddepression.
At the same time,weareoftenunawareofwhat
isgoingoninthebody.Eitherweareuninterested
orwe deliberately block out unpleasant sensations andemotions. Sometimes numbing out physical oremotionalpaincanbeanimportantcopingstrategy,butwe often continue using it long after the threat haspassed.Ourbodycangiveusessentialfeedbackonwhatwe are feeling emotionally and physically. Bybecoming more attuned to our body, we
becomemoreinformedabouthowaparticulareventorsituationis
affectingus andwe are alsomore likely to pick up earlywarning signs of
physicalandpsychologicalillness.
Wecanonlymakewisechangesifwearetrulyawareofour
experience
Whenwepracticemindfulness,wearedeliberatelyturningourattentiontoour thoughts, our emotions, andphysical sensationsas theyare
arising. We begin to notice habitual patterns of thinking or behavior. We
becomeawareoftheconstraintsandboxeswecreatearoundourselves.Weoftenrealizehowmindlessweareandhowmuchofourlifeispassingusbyunnoticedaswearecaughtupinre-livingthepastorwaitingforabetterfuture.However,asJonKabat-Zinnsays,thepresentmomentistheonlymomentwhere
itispossibletochange.Andwecanonlymakewisechangesifwearetruly
aware of what our experience really is. The moment of awareness that iscultivated through mindfulness offers a window of opportunity to respond
differently.Itcreatesaspacethatcanbeenoughtomakeusthinktwiceabout
our habitual reaction. That small shift can be enough to turn us in a verydifferentdirectionandwearemorelikelytorespondwithgreaterwisdom.
There is a growing evidence base for the clinicalbenefitsofMBSRandMBCT,buttherearebenefitsforallofus,regardlessofwhetherwearesufferingphysicaloremotionalpain.Sufferingisapartoflife.Weareallgoingtoexperiencegrief,loss,anddeathatsomepointand many of us will experience illness and othertraumatic life events. Even happy events, such as awedding or the birth of a child, can be stressful.However, much of the daily stress we
experience that has a negative effect on our health, well-being,
andpersonalrelationshipsismadeupofrepeatedoccurrencesof
smallevents:missinga train, forgettinganappointment, losingworkon the
computer,sayingsomethinghurtfultoalovedone,andsoon.
Ifwestarttopayattentiontothemomentsthatmakeupeveryday,
wecanbegintodothingsdifferently,andmomentbymoment,stepbystep,wecanchangeourlifeforthebetter.Whenwewakeuptothemomentsinlife,weexperiencewhatKabat-Zinn calls “the full catastrophe” of life: the joyful, thedifficult, thepainful, theboring.Webegin tonoticehow life is inconstant
flux—just like the weather—and the possibility of change is always
present.Werealizethatallhumanbeingssufferandthatlifeisoftendifficult.
Everyoneelseisnotalwayshappyandlivinganidyllic,perfectlife,despitewhatthemediamightleadustobelieve.Realizingthatwearenotfailuresjust
becauseweareexperiencingunhappinesscanbeliberating.
Whenwe do formalmeditation practices, such as a sittingmeditation, all thedifficult emotions we experience in daily life—boredom, restlessness,impatience,irritation,fear,andanger—willappearatsomepoint,aswellasthepositiveones.The formalpracticesoffer anopportunity topracticebeingwithdifficultemotionsinaplaceofrelativesafety,therebyallowingustodealwiththemmoreeffectivelywhenweexperiencethemindailylife.
Aswebecomeawareofourthoughts,webegintorealizehowmuchofour
own unhappiness is caused by the stories we tell ourselves. For
example,sayyoustubyourtoeonabagthathasbeenleftonthefloorbyyourpartner.Youexperiencethephysicalpainofthetoemakingcontactwiththebag.Thisisthefirstdart.Then,ifyouarelikethemajorityofus,youbeginrantingabout thebagbeing lefton the floorandbeforeyouknow ityouareaccusingyourpartnerofnotlovingorrespectingyou,orberatingyourselffornotdoingbetterat school/havingabetter job/beingable toaffordabiggerhouse,andsoon.Youmayevenwonderifthetoeisbrokenandwhattheconsequencesofthatmight be.These stories are the second dart.We cannot do anything about the
first dart, because this is physical suffering. However, we can do somethingabouttheseconddart;wecanbecomeawareofthestoriesandletthem
go.Thispartiswithinourcontrol.
Learningtoletgoisnoteasy.Whenwepracticewatchingthebreath(or
indeedanypointoffocus,suchasasoundorasensation),wegentlyescortourattention back to the breath every time our mind wanders.We are practicinglettinggoofthatthought.Wedothisoverandoveragaineverytimewepracticeandindoingso,wepracticelettinggo.
REMEMBER
We practice. Practicing entails repetition. Practicing takes time and effort.Mindfulnessisnotaquickfix.Totrulyexperiencetransformationalchange,youneed tomakemindfulnessan integralpartofyour life.Although this
might sound daunting, remind yourself that all change occurs through
smallstepsandbyreadingthisbookyouhavealreadytakenthefirstone.Just
asstressarisesthroughsmalleventsthatweperceiveasstressful,wecanbegin
toundothenegativeeffectswithsmallactions.
WHOCANPRACTICEMINDFULNESS?Whilemindfulnessisatraitthatisnaturallystrongerinsomepeoplethanothers,thisalsomeansthatitissomethinginherentinallofus,whichcanbecultivated,strengthened,anddrawnout.
Mindfulnesscanbeofbenefit toanyone,but the followingpeoplemay find itparticularlyhelpful:
★Carersorthoseinthecaring
professions.Whenwearelooking
afterothers,itcanbeverydifficultto
maketimeforourselves.However,
ourprimaryresponsibilityshouldbe
toourselves—thenwewillbebetter
abletolookafterothers.
★Ifyouhaveahistoryofrepeated
boutsofdepression,ratherthanone
episodeofdepressioninresponseto
asinglelifeevent.Mindfulnessmaynotpreventafuturerelapse,but
hopefullyitwillhelpyouspotthewarningsignsofdepressionsoonerandso
therelapsewillbeshorterandlesssevere.
★Ifyousufferfromanxiety.Webecomeanxiouswhenwedwellonthepast
orworryaboutthefuture.The“whatifs”and“ifonlys”cantieusupin
knots.Inmindfulness,theemphasisonthepresentmomentcanstopthe
downwardspiral,andfocusingonthesensationsyoufeelinyourbodycan
helppullyououtofthenegativemindset.
★Ifyouaresufferingfromachronicillnessorcondition.Mindfulnesscan
helpuslearntolivewithillnessratherthanbeconsumedbyit.Bynoticing
themoment-to-momentchangesinthemindandbodywearebetterableto
makeuseofthosetimes,andalsotorecognizewhenitisbettertorestand
recuperate.
★Ifyousufferfromchronicorintermittentpain.Weincreaseoursuffering
withthestorieswetellourselvesaboutpain;andwetensethebodyto
withstandandresistpainand,indoingso,createadditionalstressandtension
elsewhere.Mindfulnesscanhelpusmoveupclosetothepainsothatwe
becomemorefamiliarwithitscharacteristicsandnoticethestorieswetell
ourselves,whichenablesustobecomelesscaughtupinit.Painispresent,
butwearemuchmorethanthepain.
★Ifyoufeelstressedoroverwhelmed.Mindfulnesscanhelpdeactivatethe
stressreaction.
★Peoplegoingthroughaperiodofchangeintheirlife.Participantsoften
cometothecoursewhensomethinghaschangedintheirlife,perhaps
childrenhavelefthome,ortheyhavebeenmaderedundant,orarelationship
hascometoanend.Theseeminglysolidgroundoftheirday-to-daylifehas
shifted.
★Peoplewhorealizetheywouldlikesomethingtobedifferentintheirlife,
eveniftheyarenotsurewhat.Thesepeoplehavenotbeenformally
diagnosedwithanythingspecific.
Practicingmindfulnessisaboutrebalancingour lives,andwecan
all get something different from it. People who are very loud and
gregariousmay learn to temper their responses inpublic and learn to listen toothers.Theshymousemaylearntospeakoutandbeheard.Anotherpersonmayloseweightbecauseheorshestartsnoticinganautomaticimpulsetoeatwhenfeeling down.Aby-product formewas that I began to recyclemyhouseholdwaste—before practicing mindfulness I had thought there was little pointbecause my small contribution could not make any difference in the overallscheme of things. When we practice mindfulness we realize thesmallestthingsdomakeadifferenceandeverythoughtandaction
has a consequence. We can influence what happens next by making
deliberate choices about how we respond in the present moment. This hasimplicationsoneveryleveloflifefromthepersonaltotheglobal.
Beginners often think their mind is too busy for meditation. A
common Buddhist analogy is to talk of the “monkey mind” with thoughtsjumpingfromsubject tosubject likemonkeys fromtree to tree. Ifwewish to,anyoneofuscanlearntomeditate.Thevarietyofmeditationpractices
allows room to experiment—for example, people sometimes find mindfulmovementhelpfulandeasierthansittingpracticewhentheirmindisparticularlyrestless.
There are many different forms of meditation practice: some focus solely ondevelopingconcentration,othersuseprops,suchascandlesormusic,asapointoffocus.Othermeditationpractices,suchasTaichi,QiGong,andyoga,involve
movement and there are even dance/meditation practices. Mindfulness ispracticedbymanyBuddhistordersandformspartofmanyBuddhisttraditions.The various traditions and methods are often just different
doorways into the same room, so experiment to find out what
appealstoyou.
Itispossibletopracticemindfulnessmeditationatanyage.Youngchildrenarenaturally more mindful than adults as they very much live in the presentmoment,butauthorandeducatorSusanKaiserGreenland is teachingformsofmindfulness to children as young as four. Teenagers can find it particularlyhelpful. However, choice is an integral part of mindfulness and it is
counter-productivetodirectortrytoforceanyonetopractice.
It isnever too late tobeginpracticingmindfulnessand ifyourpractice lapses,youcanalwaysbeginagain.
It is important to realize that the mind will always wander. I find itreassuringtohearmeditationteacherswhohavepracticedforoverfortyyearstalkoftheirwanderingmind!Itiswhatmindsdo.Whenourmindwanders,wenoticewhereithasgoneandthengentlyandkindlybringour attention back to the point of focus (the breath, the sound, orwhateverisbeingusedasafocus.)Wedothisonce,twice,tenthousandtimes—and that is thepractice.Every timeourmindwanderswehaveanopportunity topractice lettinggoandcomingback;JonKabat-Zinnlikens it toworking out in the gym, but insteadwe are exercising themuscleofawareness.
COMMONMISCONCEPTIONSPeopleoftenhaveconcernsaboutmeditationorperhapshavehalfheardaboutdifferent techniques, so it is helpful to clarify some misconceptions thatcommonlyarise.
Wearenot tryingtoemptyorclearourmindwhenwemeditate; insteadweareobservingour thoughts
and noticing common patterns or stories.
Generally, we are unaware of the stories that areinfluencinganddrivingallouractionsanddecisions.Bybringing them into awareness, we are in a
better position to discard those that are
unhelpful and deliberately encourage those that are
helpful.
WedonotneedtositintheLotuspositiontomeditate.It isnotthepositionthat is important,butthe
attitudeofmindwebringtoit.Ifyousufferfroma
physicalconditionthatmeansyouwouldfinditdifficulttodoapracticeassuggested,suchaslyingonthefloor,thenitisalwaysfinetoadaptandchangeittosuithowyouareatthismoment.SeePosture formoreguidanceonposture.
There is no conflict with any religion or religious beliefs. Many
religionspracticeformsofmeditation.Thepracticesdescribedin thisbookarecompletelysecular,althoughtheymayhavetheirrootsinBuddhistpractices.
We are not meditating in order
to relax or, indeed, to achieve
anyparticularstateofmind.We
maybecomemore relaxed as a resultof meditating, but if we set out tobecome relaxedbymeditatingwearesetting ourselves up for failure anddisappointment.Whenwemeditateweare opening ourselves to whateverarises. All mind states and emotionswill arise at some point—particularlywhen we do formal practices—andthis presents us with opportunities tobe with difficult emotions in a safeenvironment. In this way we cancultivateskillsthatwecanthen
put into practice when difficult
emotionsariseineverydaylife.
Mindfulness is not positive thinking.We are not trying to convince ourselvesthat everything in the world is wonderful. On the contrary,mindfulness isabout opening to all experience: the good, the bad, and the
neutral. Each is as worthy of our attention as the others. We need to
acknowledgeandexperiencethedarkaswellasthelight,andalloftheshadesofgrayinbetween.Throughopeninguptothefullspectrumwebegintoseehowcircumstances change and states ofmind ebb and flow like the tide, and thatnothingisfixedforever.Therealwaysexiststhepossibilityforchange,
howeversmall.
Mindfulness is definitely not a quick fix or a miracle cure. Practicingmindfulnessmeditationrequiresacommitmentandawillingnessto
bewithwhateverarises,andthiscanbechallenging.
Whenwetalkof“livinginthemoment,”thisdoesnotmeanlivingwithoutanythought to the future. Living in the moment simply means paying
attention to our experience as it happens. By knowing (and
acknowledging)whatisactuallyhappeninginthismomentwearebetterabletotakecareofandinfluencewhatisgoingtohappennext.
HELPFULATTITUDESMeditationisanactiveprocessandifyouwanttobringaboutchangein
yourlife,itrequiresadeliberateengagementonyourpart.Noone
else can do this for you and how you approach it is important. In FullCatastrophe Living, Jon Kabat-Zinn stresses the importance of particularattitudes that are helpful to cultivate and form the bedrock upon which ourmindfulnesspracticerests.
THEFOLLOWINGAREPARTICULARLYHELPFUL
ATTITUDESTOBRINGTOMINDWHENYOUAREDOING
ANYOFTHEPRACTICESINTHISBOOK:
CURIOSITYOneofthejoysofspendingtimewithachildisseeingtheworldthroughhisorhereyes,whereeverythingisnewandinteresting.Toooftenweseeourworldthroughascratchedandcloudyfilterofexperience,whichmeansweseeonlyhalfthepictureanditisoftendistortedorobscured.Whenwepayattention toour experiencewith the curiosityof a child, seeing it as if for theveryfirsttime,allkindsofpossibilitiestakeshape.
NOTSTRIVINGOneof theparadoxesofmeditation is that ifwedo itwithaspecificexpectationinmind,wearesettingourselvesupfordisappointment.Assoonaswesetourselvesagoal,wefindourselvesmeasuringconstantlytoseehow near or how far we are from achieving it. It is more helpful to remindourselves that the easiestway to get fromA toB is simply to focus onbeinghere,atA.
TRUSTLearningtotrusttheprocessandlettingitunfoldisimportant.Asyoubegintotuneintothebodyandpayattentiontothefeedbackyoufindthere,youwill access your inner wisdom.Trust in yourself and your intuition; if
somethingdoesnotfeelrightforyou,donotdoit.
PATIENCEMindfulnessisnotaquickfix.Youmaynotfeelorseeadifferenceforawhileandittakestimetounlearnthehabitsofalifetime.Thereisnorushandthelearningisinthejourney.
NOTJUDGINGWhenwebegintopayattentiontoourthoughts,thefirstthingwe often notice is how judgmentalwe are—toward others and ourselves.Ourjudgmentscolorallourinteractionsandweoftenpracticeadegreeofmeannessandevenhatredtowardourselvesthatgoesfarbeyondhowwewoulddreamoftreating someone else.However, it is just as unhelpful to criticize our judgingmindandso,instead,wenoticeandacknowledgeitwithcompassionandcomeback to the point of focus. Practicing kindness is as important as practicingmindfulness—mindfulnesswithoutkindnessisnotmindfulness.
ACCEPTANCE This does not mean passive resignation, but instead seeingthingshowtheyreallyare,ratherthanhowwewouldlikethemto
be.Thisthengivesusarealisticstartingplacefromwhichtomoveforward.
LETTINGGOThismeansreleasingtheneedtofixorchangethingstohowyouwant them to be. Our resistance against how things are can cause a lot ofunhappinessandtakesupahugeamountofenergy.Allowingthingstobeas
theyareisaformofacceptance.
Itishelpful,too,toremindyourselfthatyoudon’thavetoenjoyit!Mindfulnesscanmakeourexperiencesricherandmorevivid,butgreaterself-awarenesscan
alsomake us becomemore aware of difficulties in our lives.Developing thisclear-sightedness is important,but it isnotalwaysenjoyable.Lettingourselvesoffthehookintermsofenjoyingourpracticecanmakeadifference.
It also can be useful to view yourpractice as anexperiment,withyouasthe subject. Bring an attitude ofcuriosity to it—what do you notice ifyou do this or if you do that? Yourpractice is a process of
discoveryandexplorationrather
than one of judgment and
evaluation.
POSTURENoneof thepractices in thisbook requirepretzel-likecontortionsof thebody.Whendoingasittingpracticeyoucansiteitheronanuprightkitchenordiningchair, or on the floor. You may experience pins and needles or some minordiscomfortwhilesittingandthisprovidesanopportunitytopracticebeing
withuncomfortablesensations,butyoucertainlydonotwanttobesitting
with any pain. Therefore do experiment with different positions and
props.Youcanevendoa“sitting”practicelyingflatonyourbackifthatfeels
moreappropriateforyou.Themostimportantthingwhenmeditatingisthatyoulisten to your body and make any adjustments needed to the
suggested posture. The attitude you bring to a sitting practice is more
importantthanthepostureitself.
SITTINGONACHAIR
Sitonanuprightkitchenordiningchairandthenbendoverand,whiletouchingyourtoes(orreachingdownasfarasyouareable),wriggleyourbuttockstotheback of the chair and then sit up. You will now be sitting in an upright, yetunsupported,position.Ifyoufeelitisnecessary,youcanplaceasmallcushion behindyour lower back, but youwant to avoid slumping
backintotheseat.Bothfeetshouldbefirmlyplantedonthefloor—youcan
place a cushion underneath the feet for support. It can be helpful to raise theback legs of the chair 1 in (2.5cm) or so off the groundwith small blocks ofwoodorabook.Thishelpstiltthepelviscorrectly.
SITTINGONTHEFLOOR
You can sit cross-legged or kneel onthe floor. Either way your hipsshould always be higher than
yourknees, soyoumayneed to sit
on several cushionsor largebooks toachieve this. If your knees do nottouch the floor, you may want tosupportthemwithcushions,foldedupblankets,orpillows.
If you prefer a kneeling position, sitback on your heels and support thebuttocks with a cushion or ameditation bench. Do experiment,as the height of your support
canmakeabigdifference .Whenyouhavetherightheightandposition,
youwillfeelcomfortableandbalanced.
Whetheryouare sittingona chair, a stool, oron the floor, the lower limbs
shouldbegroundedandsupported. The upper part of the body should
rise out of thewaist—it can be helpful to imagine a silken thread running upfromthebaseofthespine,throughtheback,theneck,andoutofthebackofthehead.Ifthisthreadwaspulled,yourtorsowouldgentlyriseoutofthewaistandyourchinwouldtuckinslightly.Overall,wearelookingforaposturethatis
alertandupright,yetrelaxed.
Your hands shouldbe relaxed and supported—you can clasp them inyour laplightly,orrestthemwithyourpalmsfacedownorup,onyourknees.
Youreyescanbeopenorclosed;iftheyareopen,perhapslookaheadanddownwithasoftunfocusedgaze.Closingyoureyescanbeawayofsinkingdeeperintoyourpractice,butexperimentandexplorethedifferencesyourself.
STANDING
Youcandomanyof the informalpractices in thisbookwhileyouareoutandabout.Whilethereisnoneedtotakeanobviousmeditationstance,it
canbehelpfultobringyourselfintoabalanced,stableposition.So,forexample,ratherthanloungingagainstthebusstop,standwithyourweightevenlyspreadacrossbothfeet.Keepyourkneessoftwithyourtorsorisingoutofyourwaist,sothatyourheadisliftingupwardyetyourshouldersandyourchinarerelaxed.
BECOMINGAWARE
Ourinternalstateofmindoftenreflectsourexternalposture,soif
yourbody is slumped and caving in, yourmindwill often feel contracted andtight.Turnyourattentiontoyoursittingposition.Howareyousitting?Howdoyoufeelemotionally?Experimentwithadjustingyourpostureandnoticinganychanges.Thisisaparticularlygoodexercisetodoatwork,especiallyifyouaresittingatacomputerformuchoftheday.Noticeespeciallyyourshoulders.Aretheytenseanduparoundyourearsorrelaxedandsoft?Becomingawareofyourposturewillbringaboutpositivechanges.
HOUSEHOLDOBJECTSTOSUPPORTYOURPRACTICE:
When sitting on the floor, use a cushion or pillow either to lift yourbuttockssotheyarehigherthanyourhipsortosupportyourknees.Thecushion(s) shouldbe as firmaspossible.Youmayneed several toget
sufficientheight.Ifyoustartsittingonthefloorregularly,youmaywanttoinvestinameditationcushion(azafu)orabench.Stackafewbooksontopofeachotherifyouneedextraheightonameditationbench,orsittingonthefloor,orforsupportingthefeetifyouaresittingonachair.Ayogamat,atowel,orablanketareusefulwhenyouarelyingonthefloor. The body’s temperature can drop quite markedly when you arestill,soitishelpfultohaveablanketorashawltohandwhenpracticing,incaseyoufeelcold.
Mostofusspendmoretimeinourheadsthaninourbodies.Unfortunately,wecannotthinkourwayoutofemotionalupsets,andtryingtodoso
canactuallymakeus feelworse.The practices in this sectionwill help
redressthisimbalance.
Byregularlytuningintothebody—andthiscanbedoneinmanydifferentways—wecangainvaluable feedback in termsofouremotionalandphysicalwell-being. These practices will help develop concentration and provide anopportunitytopracticedirectingthebreathintodifferentpartsofthebody.Theemphasis on the breathwill enable you to begin to use it as an
anchor.Wheneveryourmindwanders(anditwill),youcanusethebreathto
reelyourselfbackintothebodyandthepresentmoment.
Deliberately turning toward somethingwe habitually avoid can release strongemotions,so ifatanypointyoufeeloverwhelmedduringanyof thepractices,please just take a break and stop. You can return to it another time.We arelearning to trust our own inner wisdom and listen to the body,
thereforeifatanytimeanyinstructiondoesnotfeelappropriateforyou,simplyrefrainfromdoingit.Thereisalwaysan“edge”aroundsittingwithdiscomfort,such as an itch, but at no point should you tolerate pain—if necessary, adjustyour position, andalways followanymedical adviceyouhavebeen
given.
MINDFULNESSOFBREATHINGFocusingonthebreathisagreatplacetostartifyouarenewtomeditation.Theinstructionissimple:payattentiontothebreath.
Experimentwithtuningintothebreathatoddtimesduringtheday
whenyouremember(nooneelsewillknowyouaredoingit.)Ifyouwould
like to start practicing more formally, set aside five minutes to sit quietlysomewhereandpayattentiontothebreath.Graduallyextendthelengthoftime,but remember the quality of attention is more important than the
lengthoftimeyousit.
TRYTHIS
Itcanbehelpfultochooseanareaofthebodyinwhichyoufeelthebreathmoststrongly—forexampleinthebelly,thechest,aroundthenostrilsorthelips,andalwaystakeyourattentiontothisplacewhendoingabreathingpractice.Ifyoufinditdifficulttolocateaplace,perhapsplaceahandonyourbellyoronyour
chest,soyoucanfeeltheactofbreathing.
Then,justnoticethesensationsofbreathing—thisisdifferentfromthinkingaboutthebreath.Whatwearedoinghereisfeelingtheexpansionasthechest
andthebellyriseonthein-breath…andnoticingthecontractionasthechestandthebellyfallontheout-breath.
REMEMBER
Weare stayingwith the length of each in-breath, then the length of each out-breath.Wheneverourmindwanders(whichitwill),gentlyescortitbacktothebreathandcontinue.
There are more breath-focused meditations in The Breath and Taking aBreathingSpace.
CLEANSINGTHEBODYWITH-BREATH
This simplepractice is a formof body scan.The easiestway to do it is lyingdown,butyoucould alsodo it sittingor reclining.Hereyouare learningtofocusonanddirectthebreathintoandaroundthebody,aswellas
deliberatelytuningintoawiderawarenessofyourbody.
TRYTHIS
Takeyourattentiontothebreathandfocusonthepartofyourbodywhereyoufeelitmoststrongly—perhapsthebelly,orthechestoraroundthelipsandnostrils…andstaywithyourexperienceofthebreath…breathingin…andbreathingout…feelingthesensationsofbreathing…allowingthebreathto
breatheitself…lettinggoofanyneedtodirectormanipulatethebreathinanyway…breathingin…andbreathingout…supportedandheldbythesurfaceyouarelyingon…restingwiththebreath…breathingin…andbreathingout…
Now,takingyourattentiontothebreath,imagineitissweepingthroughthebody…breathinginthroughthecrownofthehead…fillingthebodywith
breath…andbreathingoutthroughthesolesofthefeet…
Then,breathinginthroughthesolesofthefeet…allowingthebodytofillwithbreath…withlife…withenergy…andbreathingoutthroughthecrownofthe
head…
Continueinthisway,sweepingthebodywithbreath,breathinginandbreathingoutfromtoptobottom.
THEHANDIn thispracticewearepayingattention to thehand—thepartof thebody thatcaresses,touches,grabs,andsoon—andreflectingonwhatitdoesforus
momentbymoment,dayafterday,yearafteryear.
TRYTHIS
Takeyourattentiontooneofyourhands.Inyourmind’seye,justbecomeawareofthehand…thepalm…thebackofthehand…thefingers…theindex
finger…themiddlefinger…theringfinger…thelittlefinger…thethumb.Becomingawareofthelengthofeachfinger…noticethespacesinbetween…inyourmind’seyebecomingawareofthethumbnail…andthentheothernails.
Wearenotlookingforanyparticularsensationsandyoumayhavenoneatall—ifso,thatisyourexperience
now.
Slowlymoveoneofyourfingers.Experimentwithslowlystretchingandbendingthefinger,feelingthe
stretch…noticingthecontraction…
Whatisitlikeifyoubringafingerandthumbtogether?Whatsensationsareyounoticing?Gentlyrubthefingerandthumbbackandforthtogether…movingthemapartandbringingthemtogether…becomingawareofanysensationsoftouch.Playwithmoving…adjusting,bending,stretchingthedifferentfingerson
thehand.Movingthemsingly,movingthemtogether…
Next,expandyourawarenesstothewholehand.Beginrotatingyourhandatthewrist…firstonewayandthentheother…turning…noticingthelimitofthe
turn…andthencomingback…repeatingthemovement.
Whatyoudotodaymaybedifferentfromwhatyoudidyesterdayorwhatyoumaydotomorrow.Wearesimplyinterestedinthehandinthismoment—whatit
cando,whatitfeelslike.
THEFACEItisbesttodothispracticeathomeorsomewhereprivatewhereyouwon’tbedisturbed.Youcando it sittingupor lyingdown.Thepurpose is topractice
tuningintothebody,movingyourattentionandbreatharoundaparticular
area.
TRYTHIS
Closingyoureyes(ifthatfeelsokaytoyou),takingyourattentiontoyourface…justbecomeawareoftheface…perhapsexploringitsboundaries…whereit
beginsandends…
Thenbeginfocusingyourattentiononspecificpartsoftheface…thejaw…thelips…themouth…insidethemouth…thetongue…theteeth…thenose…
Noticetheeyes…theeyeballsrestinginthesocketsoftheskull…protectedbytheeyelids…feelingtheweightoftheeyesrestinghere…
Nowfocusontheforeheadandthetemples…theears…theleftear…therightear…thescalp…inyourmind’seye,massagingthescalpwithawareness.
Allthetimekeepanactiveinterestandcuriosityaboutthisfaceandthesefeatures…thisfaceexactlyasitisrightnow…lettinggoofanyneedorwishtoassumeaparticularexpressionorpose…justallowingthefacetobehereasitis…Noticeifanyjudgmentsariseandiftheydo,perhapsjustnoting“judgingis
here,”beforebringingyourattentionbacktothefacewithkindnessandgentleness.
Simplybewithyourexperience,whateveritmaybe.
SETTLINGINTOTHEBODYI came across this practice in a book called Emotional Healing throughMindfulness Meditation by psychotherapist Barbara Miller Fishman, but it isalsopartofaYogaNidra(abodyscanthathelpstoachieveadeep-sleepstateinyoga.)Itisashortpracticethatisbestdonelyingdown.Ifinditaparticularly
quickwaytogetintothebodyifIamlyingawakewitharacingmind.In
thisbodyscanwemovearoundthebodyinsections.
I find it ishelpful tohaveavisualpicture inmyheadofanoutstretchedbodyand to imagine itbeingsegmented into thedifferentparts (I always
pictureamagiciancuttinghisassistant inhalf!)IusuallydothispracticelyingdownbecauseitisharderformetovisualizewhenIaminasittingposition,butexperimentforyourselfandsee.Theorderdoesnotmatterandyoucanalwaysleaveoutsectionsifyouwishtoshortentheexerciseor repeat ita
coupleoftimesifyoupreferalongerpractice.
Ashortpracticethatisbestdonelyingdown
TRYTHIS
Lyingdownwithyourfeetstretchedoutandfallingawayfromeachother,andyourarmsdownbyyoursides…youreyesclosedifthatfeelscomfortablefor
you…becomeawareoftherightsideofthebody…fromtherightsideofthe
topoftheheadtothetipoftherightfoot…includingtherightarm…Justbecomeawareoftherightsideofthebody,stayingwiththisforafewmoments.
Now,leavingtherightsideofthebody,becomeawareoftheleftsideofthebody…thewholeoftheleftsideofthebodyfromthetopoftheheadrightdown
tothetipoftheleftfoot…holdingtheleftsideofthebodyinawareness…stayingwiththisforafewmoments.
Next,becomeawareofthetophalfofthebody…noticingthetorsofromthewaistupwardandthroughtothetopofthehead…includingboththeleftandrightarms…holdingthetophalfofthebodyinawareness…stayingwiththis
forafewmoments.
Then,leavingthetophalfofthebody,takeyourattentiontothelowerhalfofthebody…becomingawareoftheareabelowthewaist…includingboththeleftandrightlegs…justholdingthelowerhalfofthebodyinawareness…staying
withthisforafewmoments.
Now,becomeawareofthefrontofthebody—soinyourmind’seyeyouarepicturingthefrontofthebody…theface…thechest…thefrontofthearms…thebelly…thefrontofthethighs…theknees…theshins…thefrontofthe
feet…holdingtheentirefrontofthebodyinawareness…stayingwiththisforafewmoments.
Then,leavingthefrontofthebody,shiftyourawarenesstothebackofthebody…thebackofthehead…theneck…theshoulders…theupperback…the
mid-back…thelowerback…thebuttocks…thebackofthethighs...thecalves…theheelsofthefeet…holdingthewholeofthebackofthebodyin
awareness…stayingwiththisforafewmoments.
Now,shiftingyourattention,becomeawareofthewholebodylyinghere…thewholebody…thesumofallitsparts…howevertheymaybe…theentirebody
restinginawareness…
MOVINGATTENTIONAROUNDTHEBODY
Ourattentioncanbeseenasaflashlightthatwecanturnonewaytogetatightlyfocused, narrow beam of light or turn the other way to obtain a wider, morediffusedbeam.Inmindfulnessmeditationweswitchbetweenanarrowfocusofattention,suchasonaparticularpartof thebody,ora
single focus, such as sound, to opening our awarenesswider to
encompassthewholebodyortoreceivewhatevercomesintoour
sphereofattention.Itisimportanttocultivatebothtypesofattention.
TRYTHIS
Youcanpracticenarrowingandexpandingyourbeamofawarenesswiththisbody-focusedexercise,whichisbestdoneathomeorsomewhereyoucanbe
privateandundisturbed.Ifyouarejustfocusingonyourhand,forexample,youcandoitsittingdown.Butifyouaregoingtopracticewithyourwholebody,Iwouldsuggestlyingdownsoyoufeelcomfortable,warm,andsupported.
Youcanmaketheexerciseaslongorasshortasyoulike.Forexample,ashortpracticecouldbeasfollows:
Beginningbyplacingyourawarenessinasingletoe,holditinyourmind’seye…restingyourattentioninthislocation…noticinganysensationsthatmaybepresent(ortheabsenceofsensation).Theactoftuninginisimportant.
Then,expandtoincludeallthetoesononefoot…beingcuriousabouteachindividualtoeandhowitisinthismoment…thenthesoleofthefoot…the
heel…theweightoftheheelandthefoottouchingthesurface.
Eachtime,focustheattentiononthatspecificpartofthebodyandifyourmindgetspulledawaybythoughts(whichitmostlikelywill),justbringingitbackto
yourplaceofattention…
Andthenwidenitoutandexperienceasenseofthewholefoot…holdingthefootinyourmind’seyeandjustbeingawareofit,noticingwhetherthereareanyphysicalsensationsornot…noticinganysenseoftemperature…anyinternalsensations…anyexternalsensations,suchasabreezeorfabrictouchingskin.Ifyouwouldliketo,youcanalsodirectthebreathintothefoot,breathinginand
breathingoutofthefoot—asifthefootwasbreathing.
Youcouldmakeitalongerpracticebystartingwiththetoesononefoot,workingaroundthedifferentareasandthenholdingthewholefootin
awareness…next,lettinggoofthefootandbeginningtomoveupthedifferentpartsoftheleg,followedbyholdingthewholeleg,includingthefoot,in
awareness,perhapsbreathinginandoutofit.
Then,youcouldextendtotheotherleg,thetorso(frontandback),thearms,theneckandheadandthenthewholebody.
STANDINGTALLLIKEAMOUNTAINStandingMountain is a traditional yoga pose that is a quickway ofmentally“coming to sit”—coming to a state of alert relaxed attention. The pose isgroundedintheearththroughthefeet,buthasasenseofupliftin
theupperpartofthebodyandthehead.
ThisisapracticeIoftendowhileIamwaitingforabusoratrain,orstandinginline, as it isagoodwayofpracticingcoming into thebodyatany
time.Itisalsoausefulgroundingexerciseifyouarefeelingworriedornervous,
for example before attending an interview, orwaiting for amedical or dentalappointment.
StandingMountaincanalsobeusedas“punctuation”orapause inmovementpractices,suchaswalkingoryoga.Itcanbedoneatanytimeandanywhereyoucanstand,andnooneneedbeawareyouaredoingit.
Ifyouarestandingfirmandsolid,youwillfeelmorephysicallystable—noticingthe sensationsof contactwith the floor/groundwill takeyouout of yourheadandintoyourbody.
TRYTHIS
Standsoftlywithyourfeetparallelandhip-widthapart,withoutlockingyourknees.Itcanbehelpfultotakeadeepbreathinandthen,asyoubreatheout,let
thekneessoftenslightly.
Yourarmsrelaxedatyoursides,imagineasilkenthreadrunningfromthebase
ofthespine,upthroughthebackandthebackoftheneckandoutthroughthe
crownofthehead…Picturesomeonepullinggentlyonthisthreadsothereisasmallshift,asenseofthecrownoftheheadliftingtotheskyandthechin
relaxingdown.
Youcanextendthepracticebyscanningthroughthebody,perhapsstartingwiththefeet,noticingthesolesofthefeetincontactwiththeearth…noticingthetoes…Aretheyrelaxedorgripping?Justmonitorhowtheyarewithoutanysenseofwantingorneedingthebodytobeinaparticularstate…scanning
throughthefeet,theankles…theshinsandcalves…noticingtheknees…thethighsandupintothetorso…
Nowbecomeawareofthepelvis,thebelly,thelowerback…movingupthespinetonoticetheshoulders…comingroundtothechest…andmovingupthe
neckintotheface,thescalp,thewholehead…
Standtall…grounded,connected,takingastanceofalertattention…
SEEALSOSITTINGLIKEAMOUNTAIN
TIPPeopleoftenmaketheirhipwidthtoobigortoosmall.Tofindyourcorrect hip width, stand with your feet parallel and together. Now,keeping your heels fixed, move both sets of toes outward until theyreachwhatwouldbe“tentotwo”onaclock.Then,bringeachheelintolinewiththetoes.
STANDINGMOVEMENTPRACTICEStandingMountainisthecoreelementofthisstandingmovementpractice.WebegininStandingMountain,weendwithit,andwealsoreturntoitattheendofeachmovement.ByinterspersingperiodsofStandingMountainwithmovement,wecannoticetheeffectthatmovementhasonthebody,aswellas
thedifferencesandsimilaritiesofmovementversusstillness.
Movement practices are an opportunity to become
morefamiliarwiththebody—particularlythebody
in thismoment.Thiswillbedifferent fromhowitwasyesterdayandhowitmaybetomorrow.Honoringthosedifferencesisimportant.Inmindfulmovementpracticeswe are paying attention to physical sensations andbeingcuriousaboutwhathappenstothebody
whenwemove.Wemaynotice thoughtsandemotionsarisingandthesecanbelabeledforwhattheyarebeforecoming back to the body.Wemay do this dance backandforwardfor theentire timeandthat is thepractice.The most important thing when doing mindfulmovementistolistentoyourbodyandhonorits
limitations. Experimentwith the “edge” of resistance
butonnoaccountpushthroughit.
Remember,wehavenogoaltoreach
TRYTHIS
Youcandothefollowingpracticesasindividualposesorstrungtogetherinasequence,dependingonhowmuchtimeyouhaveavailable.
FINDINGYOURCENTER
StartinStandingMountain,withyourarmsatyoursides,keepingthekneessoft,andtakeyourattentiondownintoyourfeet.Becomeawareofyourfeet
connectingwiththeearth…grounded…supported...
Maintainingthatsolidconnectionwiththeground,begintoleanforwardslightlyfromtheankles…comingbacktocenter…thenrepeating…eachtimeexploringthepointwheretheleancouldbecomeafallforward(Icallthis“theedge”offorward.)Ifyouneedto,youcantakeastepforwardtomaintainyourbalance.
Now,ifitfeelsokay,begintoexplore“theedge”ofbackward.Rememberingthatthesearereallysmallmovements,gentlyswayforward,keepingyourlowerlegsandfeetfirmlygrounded…thenswaybackward…inbetween,comingto
center…
Then,begintodothesamethingbutthistimeexploring“theedgeofsideways”…
Alwayscomebacktocenter…perhapsstandingstillforasecondortwowhenyoureachthispositionandexploringwhatbeingcenteredfeelslike.Experimentwiththedegreeofmovement…startingsmall…becominglarger…andthen
comingbacksmallerandsmalleruntilyouarestandingstill.
Throughoutthepracticenoticewhatishappeningwiththebreath…noticingthemusclesinthebodytensingandrelaxing.
Youcangothroughasimilarprocess—usingtheupperbodyalone—whenyoufirstcometosit,byrockingfromsidetosideforafewsecondsbeforesettlingat
yourcenter.
STRETCHANDSIDEWAYSBEND
StartinStandingMountain,then,shiftingyourweighttotheleftsideofthebody,onyournextin-breath,lettherightarmfloatupward.Letitgoasfarasitlikes,followingthelengthofthein-breath,andwhenthisturnsintoanout-
breath,relaxthebody,butkeeptherightarmraisedwhilefeelingtheshoulderdropdown.
Onyournextin-breath…reachingtherightarmuptothesky,feelthestretchdownthewholelengthofthebody,andthenontheout-breathbendtherightarmoverthehead…keepingthebodyuprightasifyouarestandingbetweentwoparallelsheetsofglass.Stayinthispositionforabreathortwo,noticingwhathappenswhenyoubreatheoutandwhathappensinthebodywhenyoubreathein…noticinganythoughtsoremotionsarising…butcontinuallybringingthe
attentionbacktothebody.
Now,onthenextin-breathlifttherightarmbackupsoitisshootingtowardthesky.Breathingoutasyourelaxtheshoulder,thenbreathinginagain...andthenasyouarebreathingout,lettingthearmfloatbackdowntotheside.StayinStandingMountainforabreathortwo,noticingwhatishappeninginthebody,
beforedoingthewholesequenceontheoppositesideofthebody.
BALANCINGPOSE
FromStandingMountain,shiftyourweightovertooneside,liftingtheoppositefoot1–2in(2.5–5cm)offthefloor.Ifitishelpful,youcanbalancetheliftedfootagainstthestandingleg.Itisfinetodothisposestandingagainstawallforextrabalance.Itisalsohelpfultofindastaticspotdirectlyinfrontofyouandgazeatit.Experimentwiththepositionofyourarms—youcanholdthemstretchedoutateachside,orplacethemonyourhips,orbringtheminfrontofyoupalmto
palm.
Asyoubalanceononeleg,noticehowmuchmovementisinvolvedinstandingstill…howbalancinginvolvesaconstantreadjustmentofposition—weoften
needtostartoverasweputafootdownandtakethepositionagain.
ComebackintoStandingMountainwithbothfeetplantedfirmlyontheground.Thenchangelegsanddotheposeontheotherside.EndinStandingMountain.
TWIST
StartinginStandingMountain,withyourfeetparallel,kneessoft,andyourhipsfacingforward,beginturningatthewaisttooneside.Makesureyoukeepyourhipsandkneesfacingforward,evenifthismeansyoudon’ttwistsofar.Youcanfoldyourarmsoneontopoftheotherandleadthemovementwiththeelbow,keepingyourgazefixedonthetipoftheelbow.Then,comebacktocenter…repeatintheoppositedirection…againmakingsurethehipsandkneesstay
facingforward.
Youcanmakethisadynamicmovementbycoordinatingitwiththebreath—experimentwithdoingamovementonanin-breathoranout-breath,and
noticingthedifference.
Dothisslowlyafewtimesbutthen,ifyou’dliketo,letgoofthearmssotheyarehangingatyoursides,andbeginmovingfromsidetoside,graduallyspeedingup…keepingthekneessoftandfacingforward…butlettingthearmsgentlybangagainstthelowerbackasyousoftlytwistatthewaisttooneside,thentheother.
TOFINISH
Attheendofamovementpractice,remaininStandingMountainpostureforamomentandperhapsscan
throughthebodyagainasyoudidatthestart,beforefocusingonthebreathforaminuteortwo.
SITTINGDOWNMOVEMENTPRACTICE
This isashortmovementpractice thatyoucandoatyourdeskorsittingonafirmkitchenordiningchair.Youcando thewhole thingorany sectionon itsown.
In all mindful movement practices weare noticing physical sensations
andarecuriousaboutwhathappenswhenwemove.Wemaynotice
thoughtsandemotionsarisingandthesecanbelabeledforwhattheyarebeforebringingourattentionbacktothebody.Wemaydothisdancebackandforwardall through the practice—that is the practice. The most important thingwhen doing mindful movement is to listen to your body and to
respectitslimitations.Experimentwiththe“edge”ofresistanceifyouwish,
but on no account push through it. There is no competitionwith ourselves orothers.
Movementpracticeisanopportunitytobecomemorefamiliarwiththebody—particularlyinthismoment.Thiswillbedifferentfromhowthebody was yesterday and how it may be tomorrow. Honoring thesedifferencesisimportant.
TRYTHIS
Beginwithyourfeetplantedonthefloor,thenbendingforwardsoyouaretouchingyourtoes,pushthebuttockstothebackofthechairseatandcomeback
uptosit.Youshouldnowbesittingtallandupright.
Experimentwithyoureyesopenand/orclosed.
THEHEADANDTHENECK
Lookingstraightahead(imaginingthatthereisasilkenthreadrunningupthebackofthespine,neckandhead,whichisbeingpulledgentlysothecrownoftheheadrisesandthechinistuckedin)…breatheinandthenasyoubegintobreatheout,turnyourheadveryslowlytotheright…comingbacktothecenteronthein-breath…andthenasyouarebreathingout,turningtheheadtothe
left…breathingincomingbacktocenter.Repeatthisthreetimes.
Takingyourattentiontoyourrightear,holditinawareness,justlettingitfloatdowntowardtheshoulder.
Thereisnoexpectationthattheearwillreachtheshoulder.Feelthestretchdowntheoppositesideoftheneck,thencomebacktocenterandrepeatontheleft
handside.
(There’snoneedfortheshouldertogetinvolved,soifyoufeelittensingormovingupward,justpause,
breathinginandoutafewtimesandlettingtheshoulderfloatbackdown.)
Lookingstraightahead(rememberingthesilkenthread…),justimaginethatthecrownoftheheadisreallyheavy,lettingitnodslowlyforward…leadwiththehead,youreyesareclosed…justletitnodforwardtowardthechestwhileyouarebreathinginandbreathingout…noticingthesenseofcontractionaswellasexpansion.Whenyoufeelasifyouhavegoneasfarasyouwouldliketo,justpausethere,breathinginandbreathingoutforafewroundsbeforecomingback
upasslowlyasyouwentdown.
Withyourheadrelaxedandcentered,imagineyouhaveablobofpaintontheendofyournoseandthatthereisapaneofglassorwalldirectlyinfrontofyou.Beginbypaintingverysmallcircleswithyournose…experimentingwithgoingslowlyandthenfaster,aswellaswiththesizeofthecircle,butalwaysbeing
mindfulofwhatfeelscomfortableandnotmakinganysuddenjerkymovements.Reversethedirection.
THESHOULDERSANDTHECHEST
Sittinguptallinthechair,risingoutofthewaist,claspyourhandsbehindyourbackandpushawayfromthebody…stretch…feelingtheshoulderblades
comingclosertogetherandthechestopening.Relaxandrepeat.
Bringingyourfingertipstoyourshouldersandthentakingyourattentiontoyourelbows,slowlymovetheelbowstothefront,bringingthemtogetherandthenapart…inthesameposition,withthefingersontheshoulders…movingtheelbowsinasmall,gentle,circularpattern,firstonewayandthentheother.
Sittinguptall,withyourhandsclaspedbehindyourhead,keepingthehips,kneesandfeetsquareandfacingforward,twistfromthewaistfirstonewayandthencomebackandgotheotherway.Perhapspauseatthepointwhereyoufeelyouhavegoneasfarasyoucanandjustbreathe…inandout…noticingthe
experience.Repeatthesequencethreetimes.
Againensuringyouaresittinguptall,bringyourelbowsclosetoyourribcagewithyourlowerarmsandhandsoutdirectlyinfrontofyou,palmsupward.Keepingtheelbowstuckedin,breatheoutasyoumovethehandsoutward…
onlygoingasfarasyoucanwithoutmovingtheelbows(andthismaynotbeveryfar)…feelingthestretchandtheopeningofthechest,thencomingbackon
anin-breathandrepeating.Repeatthreetimes.
Sittinguptall,thistimewithyourhandsonyourhips,bringingtheelbowstogetherbehindyou(butwithoutanyexpectationthattheywillevermeet),feeltheshoulderbladesmovingtogether,feelthechestopeningup…Repeatthree
times.
THEHANDS
Manyofusspendadisproportionateamountoftime,whetheritisforworkorleisure,atakeyboard.Itisonlyfairtogiveyourhandsandfingersaregular
workouttocounteractthenegativeeffectsofthis.
Liftingyourrighthand,allowyourwristtogolimp.Letthewristandhandgolooseandfloppy…perhapsgentlyshakingthewristsoithangsdownvertically,
itsweightheavy.
Beginmovingonefingeratatime,asifthefingersaredoingaminiMexicanwave…foldingthemintothepalmandthenextendingthemoutagain.Dothisbothslowlyandfast…experimentingwiththedifference(leavingthethumbout
ofthepicturefornow.)
Then,stretchthethumbtoitsfulllengthandfolditin…repeatafewtimes.
Now,takingtheattentionbacktothewrist,beginrotatingthewristinonedirectionandthenintheother…gettingasfullanextensionasyoucan,butalwaysbeingwisetothelimitationsofyourbody.Thereisnospecificgoal.
Repeatthesequenceontheoppositehand.
FINALLY,SITANDBREATHEWITHAWARENESSOFTHE
WHOLEBODY.
CULTIVATINGBODYAWARENESSDeliberately turning our attention to our physical experience is a way ofcultivatingincreasedbodyawareness,practicingbeingwithphysicalsensations,andcultivatinganattitudeofcuriosityandinterest inourphysical
experience.Ifwepracticethisregularly,wewillfinditeasiertoturntothebody when we are experiencing emotional upset or stuck in a
thinkingrut.
The actionofnoticingwhat is goingon in thebodyoccupies the sameneural“highway”asruminativethought,soturningourattentiontothebodyisawayofdeliberatelyshiftinggears,takingusawayfromthemind
andourthoughts.
Ifwe do this regularly,wewill also become familiarwith our body—what is“normal”forus—andsowillfinditeasiertonoticeanychangesandimbalancessoonerratherthanlater.
TRYTHIS
Findingaspacethatisquietandwhereyouwillnotbedisturbed,sitinthewaythatfeelsmostcomfortableforyou(seePosture)
Takeafewmomentstosettleintoyourseat.Adjustyourpositionandmakesurethelowerpartofthebodyisfirmlygroundedandconnectedtothefloororchairand,atthesametime,riseupoutofthewaistwiththecrownoftheheadliftingtowardtheceilingandyourchintuckedin.Youshouldfeelalertyetrelaxed.
Beginbytakingyourattentiontothebreath.Focusyourattentiononthepartofthebodywhereyoufeelthebreathmoststronglyandrestyourattentionthere…
stayingwiththelengthofeachin-breath…noticingthepauseasthein-breathbecomesanout-breath…andthenstayingwiththeout-breath.Continueinthiswayforafewminutes,simplyexperiencingthesensationsofbreathing,whatevertheymaybeinthismoment.If
judgmentsarise,acknowledgetheirpresenceandfirmlyescorttheattentionbacktothebreath.
Noticeifthebreathisdeeporshallow,rapidorslow,butlettinggoofanyneedtobebreathinginaparticularway.Justletyourselfbreathewithouttryingtochangeit(althoughitmaychange,andthat’sokay)…simplybeingcuriousaboutyourbreathin
thismoment.
Afterawhile,expandyourawarenesstoincludethewholebody.Becomeawareofthepointsofcontactwith
thefloor(thesolesofthefeetoryourbuttocks)…noticingsensationsofweight,contact,hardness,
softness,texture…Perhapsscanupwardthroughthebodyfromthefeettothecrownofthehead.Whatdo
younotice?
Now,settleintoanawarenessofthebody.Youmaybestronglyawareofthebreathorperhapsofphysicalsensationsthatarise,withthebreathinthe
background.
Theattitudeswearetryingtocultivateareonesofcuriosity,interest,andfriendliness.Explorethebodyasifitisanewfriendthatyouwanttogetto
knowalittlebetter.Whatareyoudiscoveringtoday?
Deliberatelyturningourattentiontoourphysicalexperienceisa
wayofcultivatingincreasedbodyawarenessandanattitudeof
curiosity
Ifaparticularsensationstartscallingforyourattention,youhavechoiceofwhattodo:
★Youcandeliberatelyfocusinonthesensationandexploreit…Whatisit
like?Whereexactlyisit?Isitchangingorconstant?Howwouldyou
describeit—throbbing,itching,pounding,stabbing…?Ifitwereacolor,
whatwoulditbe?Whathappenswhenyoupayattentiontothissensation?
Gatherinformationabouttheexperienceratherthananalyzingit.
★Youcanturnyourattentiontothebreath,usingitasananchorforyour
attention.Everytimeyouarepulledawaybythephysicalsensations,simply
comebacktothebreath(andyoucandothisoverandoveragain.)
★Youcandirectthebreathintotheareaofdiscomfort,imaginingthatyou
arebreathinginandoutfromthisplace.
★Youcanmakeadecisiontoadjustyourposition,butdosomindfully,
ratherthanautomaticallyreactingtothephysicalsensation.Whenyouneed
tomove,makeadeliberatedecisiontodosoandpayattentiontotheprocess
ofmovingandsettlingintoanewposition.
REMEMBER
We never want to sit through pain. We can practice being with
discomfort, butwedo sowithkindness and compassion.Sowemightstay
withanuncomfortablesensation foronlyasecondor two,butgradually
wemayfindwecanallowittobetherelongerwithoutreactingtoit.
We always work at a pace that feels right for us—andwhatwe do today
may be different from what we did yesterday or what we will do
tomorrow. Practice “beginner’smind,” noticingwhat is there rather thanwhatwethinkshouldbethereorwhatwewanttobethere.
Whenyounoticetheurgetomoveandendthepractice,tryexploringthisfurther—can you feel it as a sensation in the body? Play with experiencing the
impulsewithoutactingonitsdemands.Whatdoesthisfeellike?
Andwhenyouwanttofinish,makeadeliberatedecisiontodosoandendwith
a moment or two of focusing on the breath before expanding the
awarenessbackouttoincludethebodyandyourimmediateenvironment.
Playwithexperiencingtheimpulsewithoutactingonitsdemands
WALKINGWITHNOWHERETOGOUsuallywhenwewalkitiswithasenseofpurpose—wemaybeexercisingthedog, going to work, or accompanying the children to school. Whatever thereasonwerarelywalkjustforthesakeofwalking.
Walkingpracticeisawayofmovingoutofthemindandintothebodyanditisagoodchoiceifyouarefeelingrestlessoranxious,andsittingfeelsliketoomuchof a challenge. Also if you are feeling sleepy, you aremore likely to remainawakewalkingratherthansitting.
So often when we are walking ineveryday lifewearegoing fromA toB on autopilot. Therefore in walkingpractice we tend towalk slowly inorder to remind ourselves that
we are doing something
different. It is not that walking
practice isholyorsacred, it issimplythatitiseasiertobepresentwhenwechangethewaywenormallywalk.
You can do this practice at home orevenoutside if there is somewhereprivatewhereyouwill beunobserved.Weoften do this practice in a circle, as this emphasizes thatwe are walking
without any destination in mind, but your “circle” could just as easily
consistofanelongatedoval ifyoudon’thavea largeamountofspace.Doingthispracticebarefootcanhelpstrengthenthesenseofconnection
betweenthefootandthefloororground.
TRYTHIS
BegininStandingMountainpose,withthefeetparallelandhip-widthapart.Yourarmscanberelaxedbyyoursides,orfoldedorclaspedinfrontorbehind
you.Youreyesshouldbeopen.
Feelyourfeetconnectingwiththefloor,theweightofthebodybeingheldandsupported…connectingwiththebreath…becomingawareofstanding…
Next,takingyourattentiondownintoeitherfoot(itdoesnotmatterwhich),shiftyourweightontotheoppositelegasyoubegintoslowlypeeltheheeloffthe
floor.Feelthetransitionofweight…liftingthefoot…shiftingit…andplacingitdown…noticingthemovement,thesenseofweight,theexperienceofthefoot
touchingthefloor…
Becomeawareofthedifferentpartsofthebodyinvolvedintheprocessofputtingonefootinfrontoftheother…
Then,switchtheattentiontotheotherfootandgothroughtheprocessagain…lifting…shifting…placing—youcanrepeatthesewordssilentlytoyourselfif
youfindithelpful.
Everytimeyourmindgoesforawalk,justbringitbackandplaceyourattentionbackonthefeet.Youwillprobablyhavetodothatoverandoveragain,andthat
isokay.
Whenyoucometoastop,assumeStandingMountainforamomentortwo,andperhapsscanthroughthebodyandnoticehowitisnow.
We all want to be happy, but we often mistake a rush of excitement forhappiness. Well-being is more of a sense of contentment,
peacefulness,andconnectionwithaplaceandpeople.Wecanfeela
sense of connection with the world and people around us even when we aresufferingfromillnessandexperiencingdifficulties.
The practices in this section focus on paying attention to ordinary
activities inourdaily lives—such as taking a shower, cleaning our teeth,
washingthedishes,ordrinkingteaorcoffee.Thesearethekindofactivitiesthatwedorepeatedlyand,assuch, theyslide intoobscurity,eachmerging into thenext, losing its unique identity. Oftentimes we are on automatic pilot to thedegreethatwelookbackandhavenorecollectionof theprocessofgettingupandgoingoutofthedoor.Inthiswaywelosethemomentsthatmakeupourlifeandoncelost,theyaregoneforever.Bypayingattentiontotheseregular
activities, we can reclaim the lost minutes of our day, and by
connecting with our experience during these activities, we can connect moredeeplywithourlife.
Wecanalsoreconnectwiththeworldaroundus—bynoticingthesky,theearthbelowour feet,and thepeoplearoundus.Lookingbeyondourselves,wecangain a wider perspective on our own life and our place on this
planet.
MINDFULEATINGWhen Iwas small, Iused toeat really slowly.However,going toboarding
school changed all that; there, if youwanted secondhelpings, youhad to be
quickoffthemarkandmealtimeswereatimeforsocializingratherthan
for savoring the foodyouwereeating.Theconsequencewas that Isoongotinto the habit of eating quicklywithout payingmuch attention to
thefood.
Thestomachtakesabout20minutestoletthebrainknowthatwearefull,soifweeattooquickly,thatmessagearrivesafterwehavealreadyeatentoomuch.Inaddition,ifweeatfast,wedon’tsavorthefoodproperlybecauseit
isnotinourmouthlongenoughforustobefullyawareofthetexturesand
the changes in taste. This also applies when we combine eating with otheractivities,suchastalkingorwatchingtelevision.
Bringingmindfulnesstoeatingalsoremindsushowordinarymeditationcanbe—itreallyiswithinthereachofeveryoneofus.
TRYTHIS
Mindfuleatingisbestdoneinsilence,althoughyoucandoitwithothersiftheyremainsilent,too.Maintainingsilenceinthispracticeremindsusthatweare
doingsomethingdifferently—inthiscase,thatweareeatingamealinawayweusuallydon’t.
Silenceisoftenlikean“on”switch.Withouttheinterruptionsoftalkingand
listening,wenaturallypayattentiontowhatweareeating,andaswepay
attentionweslowdownaccordingly.Wenoticehowthebodyreactsinanticipationofthenextspoonful.Wechewourfoodratherthanswallowit
automatically.Perhapswefeelthestomachexpandingandbecomingfullerwitheverymouthful.Wepausebetweenmouthfuls.Weareawareofthecrunchytextureofthiscarrot;thejuicinessofthattomato;thedelicateflavorofthisspice,thestrongtasteofthatherb.Webecomeawareofwhatweareeating.
BRINGCURIOSITYANDEXPLORATIONTOTHEACTOF
EATING:
★Whatdoyousee?
★Whatcanyousmell?
★Whatdoesitfeellike?
★Whatcanyouhear?
★Whatcanyoutaste?
As webecome aware of what we are putting into our mouths we
begin tomakedeliberatechoices. Ifwearefocusingontastingourfood,
wewant it to taste as good as it can be.Webegin noticinghowwe feel
aftercertainfoodsandnaturallygravitate toward those thatgiveusenergy
ratherthanmakeusfeelsluggish.Also,webecomeawareofthepointof
choicewhenweare reaching forsomething—thisgivesus time topauseand
makeaconsciousdecisionaboutwhatwearegoing toeat, rather
thaneatingmindlessly.
Mindfuleatingremindsushowordinarymeditationcanbe
DRINKINGTEAOftenwhenwe take timeout tosit downandhaveacupof teaor
coffee it is not the peaceful interlude we had anticipated but rather an
opportunitytothinkaboutour“ToDo”listortoreplaysomeslightorhurtthatwehavereceivedordoledout.
Vietnamese meditation teacher Thich Nhat Hahn suggests drinking tea to
drinktea(andofcourseitcanbeappliedtoanydrink.)
TRYTHIS
Sittingdown,bewithyourcupoftea.Exploretheteawithyoursenses…feelingtheheatofthecupagainstyourhands…drinkinginthescentoftheleaves(perhapsexperimentwithherbalteas)…noticingthecoloroftheliquid…
perhapstheoddleaffloatingaround…
becomingawareofthemovementofbringingthecuptoyourlips,noticinganyphysicalresponseinanticipation…experiencingthetaste…noticingwhether
thereisanahhofpleasureorashudderofdistaste(andrememberingthatwearenottryingtohaveaparticularexperience,insteadwearejustbeingwiththis
experience)…
Wheneveryourmindgetspulledawaybythoughts(whichitwill),justnoticingwhereyouhavegoneandthencomingback,kindlyandgentlytothebodyand
thesensationsyoufelt.
REALLYDRINKYOURTEA.
WHOAREYOUSHOWERINGWITH?Mostofusspendmuchofourtimethinkingofthepastorthefuture,
therebypayingnoattentiontothepresent.Constantlygoingoveryour“ToDo”list,orworryingabouthowyoucouldhavedonethingsdifferently,keepsthe
bodyinastateofvigilanceand,sometimes,anxiety.
TRYTHIS
Whenyoushowerinthemorning,takeamomentortwotonoticewhohas“joined”you…Whoareyouthinkingabout—perhapsitisyourboss,orcolleaguesatwork,maybeitissomeoneyouaregoingtoseelaterthatday,orperhapsitissomeoneyoutalkedtoyesterday.It
mightbeyourpartner,yourchildren,yourparents,yournext-doorneighbor…Howmanypeopleareinthe
showerwithyou?
Then,beginfocusingonthephysicalsensationsofshowering…thewaterrunningoffyourskin…thetemperatureofthewater…thesoaplatheringup
betweenyourfingers.Noticewhenyouexperienceasensationofdelightorwhentheremightbeafeelingofpushingawayordislike.Thereisnorightwaytoshowerandwhetherweareinvigoratingourselvesfirstthinginthemorning,simplyshampooingourhair,orcoolingoffafterahotday,allwe
aredoingispayingattentiontotheactoftakingashower.
TIP Identifying who turns up in the shower regularly may give yousome helpful feedback on where your preoccupations are at any onetime.
DOINGTHEDISHESTODOTHEDISHES
Meditation teacherThichNhatHahndescribes“washing thedishes inorder towash the dishes”—that is,doing an activity thatmight be considered
boringandgiving it your full attention. ThichNhatHahn says that too
oftenwerushthroughtheactionofwashingthedishessolelytogettotheendresult(cleandishes)andperhapstothenrewardourselveswitharelaxingcupoftea. Yet when we sit down to drink the tea, we do so without any sense ofenjoymentaswehavealreadymovedonourattentiontothenextthing.
When we focus on what we are doing, we often discover an
interestinit. Ihavefound, too, thathowIapproach theactivity informsmy
relationship with it. If I am forced or feel obliged to do something, I feelresentful and resistant to it.But if Imakeaconsciouschoice todoan
activity—evenifitisnotsomethingIwanttodo—Iamapproachingitfroma
differentperspectiveandwhathappensnextisaffectedbythischange.
Youcanbringasimilar,deliberateawarenesstothoseactivitiesthatyoudoregularlywithoutpayingattention—forexample,cleaningyourteeth,gettingdressed,shaving,andsoon.Whenyouhavedonetheseactivitiesso many times, you lose interest in them and tend to “zone out.” Tobreakthishabit,dothemdifferently.Perhapsslowdownorchangeyourroutine—for example, if you usually start brushing your teeth at thefront, trybeginningat theback (yourdentistwillappreciate this!)Useyoursensestoexploretheactivity.Youdon’thavetospendmuchlongerthan you usuallywould, but by doing the activity differently, you can
reclaimlostminutesofyourdayandlosthoursofyourlife.
TRYTHIS
Chooseahouseholdactivitythatyounormallyfinddull.Itcouldbewashingthedishesortakingoutthegarbage…oranythingsimilar.
Takeamomenttopayattentiontowhatyouarefeeling…anysensationsinthebody?Anystiffness,tension,ortightness?Whatthoughtsarepresent?Arethereanyemotionsarising?Noticewhateverispresentandacknowledgeit,mentally
saying,“Iseeyou.”
Next,makeadeliberatedecisiontodothechosenactivity,evenifyoudon’twantto,andacknowledgethechoiceyouaremakingdespitenothavingany
expectationofenjoyingit.
Then,carryouttheactivity…alwayspayingattentiontosensationsfeltinthebody.Noticeanyemotionsandanystoriesyoumightbetellingyourself.
Wheneveryounoticeasenseofwantingtobesomewhereelseordoingsomethingdifferent,justbringyourselfbacktothismoment,thisactivitynow.
Youdon’thavetoenjoytheactivity,justbepresentinit.
Afterwardreflectonyourexperience.
SPORTSANDLEISUREACTIVITIESManysportsmenandwomenareusingmindfulnessastheyfindithelpswith
concentrationandfocus.Ihaveintroducedmindfulnessintomanyareasof
my life and the rewards have often been unexpected. Here is an
example that illustrates the benefits, as well as providing guidelines forintroducingmindfulness into a sport, but the principles can be applied to anyleisureactivity.
RUNNING
I took up running after readingDannyDreyer’sChiRunning and I realized Icouldusemindfulnesstoturnrunningintoameditationpractice. In
ChiRunning,thefocusisonthebodyanditsposture,noticingbodyalignmentand making adjustments to prevent injury (which, incidentally, also increasesspeed.) The emphasis is on a gradual process and on starting from
whereyouarenow(evenifthisisnotwhereyouwouldliketobe.)AlthoughIamarelativebeginner—andaslowoneatthat—Inowloverunning.IlovethesenseofcommunityIreceivefromrunninginLondon’sHydeParkandseeingthe same faces from time to time; the city is no longer anonymous. I feel
connectedtothecity:passingtheKing’sTrooponthewaytotheChanging
of the Guard, tourists scratching their heads as they puzzle over a map, themarathonrunnerspoundingouttheirtraininghours.Ilovefeelingtheweatheronmyfaceandexperiencingtheseasonschanging.Ienjoyseeingwhatmybodyiscapable of and, although I am slow, Iwork the “edge” ofwhat I can do, andrecognize that every “running” day is different from the one
before.Ihavelearnedtheimportanceoflisteningtomybodytoavoidtherisk
ofinjuringmyself.
TRYTHIS
Payingattentiontoyourexperiencemeanspayingattentiontowhatisarisingintermsofsensationsfelt,thoughts,andemotions.Howareyoudoingyourchosenactivity?Areyougivingyourselfahardtimebecauseyouarenotrunningfast
enoughorhaven’tproducedamasterpieceorbecauseyouhavedroppedastitch?Whatemotionsarearisingasyoudothisactivity?Whatsensationsareyou
feelinginthebody?Becuriousaboutyourexperience.
Whenwedoanyactivitymindfullyweletgoofanyattachmenttoaparticularoutcomeandinsteadfocusontheprocess.Paradoxically,lettingourselvesoffthehookintermsofachievingaparticulargoaloftenmeanswearemorerelaxedandthusabletohaveadifferentexperiencewithmorefavorableresults.But
moresignificant,perhaps,isthatwewillalmostcertainlyhavehadaricherandmorefulfillingexperienceandbemoreawareofwhatisgoingoninourbody,
whichishelpfulbothintermsoftechniqueandinjuryprevention
Whynotexperiment?Perhapsdoyourchosenactivityasusualonedayand another day do it with mindfulness. Reflect on and record yourexperiences on both occasions. What can you learn from yourobservations?
PREPARINGAMEALPaying attention to food while we are preparing it is a way of turning a
choreintoasensoryexperience.Thefollowingpracticeisbestdonewith
freshfoodsthatfeedthesenses—particularly,sightandsmell—suchas
saladingredients.
TRYTHIS
Youcanbeginthispracticewhenyouareoutshopping,choosingitemsforyoursalad.Noticethecolorsofthevegetablesandfruitpiledupnexttoeachother.Separatethedifferentsmells…forexample,noticethesharptangoffreshherbs.Feelthedifferenttextures.Noticeanysenseofmovingtoward“Mmmm,Ilikethese…”versusasenseofresistanceorpushingawayoffoodsyoulikeless“Yuk…Idon’tlikethese,”anddoingthisinthecontextofnoticingwhatthesedifferentstatesfeellikephysicallyratherthanjudgingthateitheroneisgoodor
bad.
Whenyouarereadytoprepareyourfood,focusallyourattentiononwhatyouaredoing.Turnoffthetelevisionortheradio,avoidtalkingwithothers,andgive
yourundividedattentiontopreparingthefood.
Asyouchop,cut,slice,anddice,openupthesensestotheexperience.Wheneveryourmindwanders,simplynoticewhereithasgoneandescortit
back.
Prepareyourmealwithaspiritofcreatingafeastofart…mixingcolors,
textures,tastes,andsmellstogether.
THEN,SITDOWN,EAT,ANDENJOY.
GIVINGTHANKSBecomingawareofallthatisgoodinourlivesisawayofcultivatingpositivefeelingsofwell-being.Wecanextendthankstowardthosepeoplewho
have influenced us in a positive way. This might include parents,
teachers,andfriends,aswellasdoctors,nurses,thepersonwhohelpedyoufindsomethinginthestore,andthestrangerwhogaveyoudirectionswhenyouwerelost.Thispracticeisawayofconnectingwiththosepeople—knownand
unknown—who have done you a service in someway andwho deserve yourthanks.
TRYTHIS
Youcandothispracticesomewhereprivate,oronatrainorabus.Sitcomfortablyandbringtomindsomeoneinyourlifetowhomyoufeelgratitude.Perhapstheyhavedonesomethingspecificforyou,orhavesupportedyou,ormadeadifferenceinyourlife.Picturethispersonand,openingyourheart,sendthemwishesofkindnessandthanks,asyouacknowledgeyourgratitudefortheirpresenceinyourlife.Youmaymakeupyourownphrasesoruseonessuchas:
“Thankyou”or“Thankyoufor…(youfillintheblank)”or“Thankyouforbeingapartofmylife.”
Thenbringtomindanotherpersonanddothesamething.Extendthepracticetoasmanypeopleasyoulike,accordingtotheamountoftimeyouhave.
KeepaGratitudeJournalandeachnightjotdownashortlistofanythingor
anyoneyoufeltgratefulforthatday.Keepitsimpleandspecific.Thiscanbea
powerfulpracticethatconnectsustothemanysmallthingsinlifeforwhichwecanbegratefulfor.
SPACIOUSSKYAsachildIwouldlieflatonmybackonthegrassandwatchthesky,and
thecloudsmovingoverhead.Ifeltthecontactwiththeearth—awarmth—
as well as the scratchiness of the grass touching my bare skin. I rememberexperiencing a connection with the earth, but at the same time
feelingasenseofthespaciousnessoftheskyandoftheuniverse
beyond.
TRYTHIS
Eithersit,stand,orliedownsomewhereoutsidewhereyouhaveagoodviewofthesky.(Itdoesnotmatterifattheedgesbuildingsortreescreepin.)Takingafewminutestogroundyourself,feelasenseofconnectionwiththeearththroughthefeet,buttocks,andanyotherpointsofcontact.Noticethesensationsofbeing
supported.
Turningyoureyestotheskyabove,openyourvisiontoreceivewhateverpassesacrossit…clouds…airplanes…vaportrails…birds…Noticeifthemindis
pulledawayand,ifso,atthatmomentofawareness,bringitbacktothesenseofconnectionwiththegroundandthespaciousnessoftheskyabove.Open
yourselfuptothesky…thisskythatcontinuesunbrokenacrosslandandsea,countriesandcontinents…thisskythathasnoboundaries,thatisnever-ending.
Butalsotrytomaintainasenseofconnectionwiththeearththroughout.
OPENINGUPTOTHEUNIVERSEInourlight-pollutedworldtherearefewchancestoappreciatethevastness
ofatrulydarknightsky.Theboundariesofourworldcan feel smalland
contracted. When neighborhood lights blaze, highlighting differences andmarkingborders,theboundariesofourworldareemphasized.
TRYTHIS
Toconnectwithawiderworldseizeanyopportunityyoucantosit,orbetterstill,tolieonthegroundandlookdirectlyupintothenightsky.
Feeltheearthbeneathyou…holdingandsupportingyou…breathingin…breathingout…allowingyourselftobeheldandsupported…groundedinthis
earth…safeinthismoment…yetspinninginthevastness.
Breathingin…breathingout…Expandyourawarenesstoincludewhatevercomesintoyourlineofsight…thelightsofaplane…ablinkingsatellite…
lettinggoofanystoriesorthoughtsthatmightbearisingaboutthem.
Breathingin…breathingout…Expandyourawarenessfurthertoincludethestars…theplanets…thegalaxies…breathingin…breathingout…Soakinthe
darknightofspace…batheinthestarlight.
Breathingin…breathingout…Feeltheearthbeneathyou…breathingwiththeearth…breathingin…breathingout…connectingwiththeground…connectingthroughtime…connectingacrossthegalaxy…connectingwiththeuniverse…
atonewiththisearth.
“SEEING-DRAWING”In my experience there are many links between drawing and
meditation. To draw accurately you have to see what is actually there—not
whatyou think is there—youpayattention to thesubjectand really look.Andthemoreyoulook,themoreyousee.Ifyoucanletthecriticalmindfall
away, you can enter amodeof beingwhere thedrawingdraws itself and
there isnosenseof“I,” just linesorshapesthatinterrelate.Wequickly
realizethateverything,howeverdullitmightseematfirstglance,isworthy
ofourinterest,andthrough“seeing-drawing”everythinghasabeautyallof
itsown.
TRYTHIS
Youdon’tneedtohaveanydrawingexperiencetotrythisexerciseinBlindContourDrawingdevelopedbyKimonNicolaides.Pickupapencilandapieceofpaperandfindsomethingtodraw—acrumpleduptissue,afeather,acomplex
flower(themorecomplicatedthebetter.)
Positionyourselfsothepaperisonthetableandyourdrawinghandisoverit,butyourheadisturnedawayandyouarelookingatyourobject,whateverthat
maybe.
Beginbylookingattheobjectbeforesettlingyourgazeononeofitsedges,andvery,veryslowly,moveyoureyealongthatedgeandatthesametimemovethepencil.Don’tliftyourpenciloffthepaper.Don’tworryaboutwhatthepencilis
actuallydoinganddonotturnandlookatthedrawing.
Continuedoingthisforaslongasyoucan—aminimumoffiveminutesifpossible(youcansetatimerifyoulike)—butideallylonger.Don’tturnyourheadandlook,justkeeptheeyeandthehandmovingslowly,asifyouwereanantcrawlingalongthesurface,feelingtheupsanddowns,thetwistsandturnsof
theedge.
Youcannotdothisexercisetooslowly.Whereveryoureyefollowsanedge,yourpencilwillfollow.Whenyouhavefinished,your“drawing”willlooknothingliketheobject,butyouwillhaveexperiencedseeingtheobjectinatotallynew
way.
TRYTHIS
Thissecond“seeing-drawing”practiceissimilartothefirst,butthistimewearegoingtoshiftourattentionbackandforwardbetweenthepaperandtheobject.
Beginwithasimpleobject,suchasaleaf.Settleintoyourdrawingposition,pickupyourobjectinyourhand,andjustgazeatit.Lookandpayattentiontothe
object.Afterafewminutes,placeitonyourpaper,closeyoureyes,andvisualizeit.Holdingyourpencilinyourhandreadytomakeamark,picturetheobjectin
yourmind’seye.
Openyoureyesandlookoncemoreatyourobject.Lookandsee,andbeginmovingyourpencilasyoumoveyoureyes.Yourpencilisanextensionofyoursenses—itmovesasifyouaretouchingtheobject,followingitscontours,
dippingintoitshollows,twistingandturningacrossandaround.
Youareonlydrawingwhatyoureyesees.Letgoofanyjudgingofwhatyouaredrawing.Whenyourattentionwanders,stop.Onlymovethepencilwhenyour
eyeismovingovertheobject.
BEINGWITHTHEGOODOurevolutionarysurvivalmechanismisprimedtorememberbadexperiencessothey serve as warnings for the future, whereas pleasant experiences serve nosuch purpose and thus are discarded.Manyofusalso indulge inblack-
and-whitethinking.Wecatastrophize: “I’ve had a terrible day,”we say,
tarringthewholedaywithnegativity,whentherealityisthateachdayis
madeupofamultitudeofexperiences—positive,negative,andneutral.
Ifwe can start topayattentionandnotice, particularlywhenwe havea
positiveexperience,andhold thatexperience inourbeingfor twoor three
seconds, our memory will then “bank” it rather than let it slide away intooblivion. An additional benefit is that noticing a positive experience as ithappensmakesourlifefeelricher.
TRYTHIS
Makeanintentiontonoticeanypleasantexperiencesyouhavetoday.Thesearegoingtobemainlysmallthings,suchasnoticingtheclean,sharpsmellofairwhenyouleaveastuffyroom;hearingachildlaughorafavoritesong;seeingapleasingarrangementofcolors,andsoon.Itwillbedifferentforeachoneofus.
Whenyoubecomeawareofapleasantexperience,firstnoticewhatitfeelslikeinthebody.Doesitfeeltight,contracted,looseoropen?Ifyouwereaskedtodescribeit,whatwordsorpictureswouldyouuse?Whatthoughtsdoyou
notice?Whatemotionsarepresent?
Remember,wearenottryingtocreatepositive
experiences.Wearesimplypayingattentiontoany
pleasantexperiencesthatregularlyoccurbutthatweusuallyignoreorquicklyforget.
ALLTHATISRIGHTWITHMECulturally,wetendtofocusonwhatiswrongwithus—whatwecan’tdo,whatwewanttoimproveorchange,andsoon.Whatifwedidsomethingtotallydifferentanddeliberatelynoticedhowmuchisrightwithus?
Thispracticecanbeaslongorasshortasyoucaretomakeit.Youcoulddoitsittingorlyingdown,orevenwhilewalking.
TRYTHIS
Takeamomentortwotofocusonthesensationsofbreathing,connectingwiththegroundthroughyourfeetorbuttocks…comingintoyourbody.
Startwiththemostobviousthings—thethingswetakeforgranted—thefeetthatcarryus,ourhands,oursight,ourhearing,oursenseoftaste.
Itcanbehelpfultoscanthroughthebody…startingwiththefeetandthenmovingupward,makingitasdetailedorasgeneralasyouwish.
Asyoufocusyourawarenessoneachpartofthebodyinturn,noticeanythoughtsoremotionsarisingaroundit.Evenifthebody’sabilitytofunctionislessthanperfect,ortheappearanceisnotasyouwouldlikeittobe,justnotice
whatyoucandowithit,howevermodestthatmightbe.
Alwaysstartwiththesimplestofthingsthatyoucando,suchasessential
skills that you use everyday. Through this practice, we are opening up to thepossibility that there ismuch that is goodor even just okay in our
lives,evenwhenthingsbecomedifficult.
Meditating is often perceived as a solitary pursuit. However, practicingmindfulnessmeditationcandomuchtoenhanceyourrelationships
withfamily,friends,andcolleagues.
Mindfulness helps usseemoreclearly our patternsof behavior and
thinking, andoncewehave seen themandbrought them intoour awareness,
we are better placed to change them. So, taking the time to practice
skills thatwill help us to be less reactive andmore responsive, less distractedandmorepresent,canonlybebeneficialtothosewithwhomwehavecontact.
The practices in this section are about cultivating better relationships: withpeople,oursurroundings,andmostimportantly,withourselves.Ifwecannotshowkindnessandcompassiontoourselves,howcanwepossibly
showit tootherpeople?TheLovingKindness practices help redress this
balance.
Weareallconstantlyinvolvedinrelationshipswithothers,whetherwithlovedonesorwithpassingstrangersinthestreet,andsoitisworthreflectingthat
every interactionwe have has an effect, and that these effects ripple
outward to touchmanypeople.Throughmindfulnesspracticeswecanwork
to make our interactions have a more positive effect, both on
ourselvesandothers.
YOUANDYOURBABYPracticingmindfulness while you are pregnant can be particularly helpful. Atthis time your body is going through all kinds of changes, both
internally and externally, and you are likely to be thinking about the
future, which can be quite stressful. Practicing mindfulness of breathing in
advanceofthebirthmaybehelpful,too.
Thispracticeisagoodwaytoconnectwithyourbabyandyourbody.
TRYTHIS
Liedownorsitinacomfortableandsupportedposition,andtakeyourattentiontothebreath.Takeafewmomentstofocusonthepartofthebodywhereyou
feelthebreathmoststronglyandjustfeelthesensationsofbreathing.
Then,placeonehandonyourbellytoconnectwithyourbabyandtheother
overyourheart,andtakeyourattentiontothepalmsofyourhands.Feelthesensationsoftouchingbareskinorcloth,becomingawareoftemperature…ofwarmthor
coolness…andalsoofanysensationsofmovementorvibration…
Rememberthatyouarenotsettingouttofeelanythingandthereisno
expectationoffeelinganythingspecific,suchasyourownorthebaby’s
heartbeat,butratherthisisjustaprocessofconnectingwitheachother.
Ifyouwouldliketodothispracticewithapartner,youcansitorliesidebysideandeachplaceonehandoveryourheartandtheotheroveryourpregnantbelly.
PARENTINGPRACTICEParents often struggle more than most to find time for formal practice, butluckilychildrenpresentendlessopportunitiesforinformalpractice.
Whether we are faced with a crying baby in the middle of the night or arecalcitrantteenager,parentscanfeelfrustratedandangry,aswellasasenseoffailure. It is inmoments like these thatpracticingmindfulnesscanbeof
benefittobothyouandyourchildren.
TRYTHIS
Inmomentsofdifficultystopandpause.Thiscanbealiteralstopping(whichmighthelppreventanautomaticresponse)orametaphoricalone,buttheeffect
isthesame.
Pauseandcometothebody,takingyourattentiontoanysensationsyoufeel,beingcuriousaboutwhatisarisingandwhere,butlettinggoofanyneedto
analyze“why.”
Next,noticewhatemotionsarearising—andthereareoftenmorethanone.Forexample,angermaybemaskingfear,sotakeafewmomentsrepeatedlytoask
yourself,“Whatishere?”andnameit.
Then,becomingawareofthestoriesyouaretellingyourself—the“badparent,”the“failingchild,”andsoon)...acknowledgeexactlywhatyouarefeelingrightnow,evenifitfeelsinappropriate,politicallyincorrect,oryoufeelbadthatin
thismomentyoureallydislikeyourchild.
Behonestaboutwhatisarising,acknowledgeitspresenceandbreathewithit,allowingthebreathtofillthebodyfromthetopofyourheadtothetipsofyour
toes.Letthewholebodybreathe.
Allowyourselftofeelyouremotionswhileyouarebreathing,andacknowledgeyourloveforyourchildinspiteofpresent-momentfeelings.Allowany
conflictingfeelingstoco-exist,supportedbythebreath.Acknowledgeyourvulnerability,yourfrailty,yourbestefforts,andagain,yourloveforyourchild.
RINGINGTELEPHONEThesoundofa ringing telephonecanconjureupmanyemotions,
dependingonwhatisgoingoninourlives—particularlyif,say,wearewaitingtoheartheresultofmedicaltestsorajobinterview.
Itisimportanttorealizethatthesoundofaphonemayunleashachain
reaction of thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations in us, and
whatishappeninginternallywillinfluencehowwereacttowhatwehearfromthecaller.
Ifwecanbringourselvesintothepresentmomentbeforeweanswerthephone,becomingawareof itseffectandknowing thatweare feelingaparticularwaymay help us respond to the call in a measured manner rather than reactingautomatically.
Atonetimeoranother,wehaveallexperiencedtheannoyingsoundofan unanswered telephone—perhaps in the office or while on publictransport. You can adapt this practice to use when someone else’stelephoneisringing.Noticethesensationsyoufeelinthebody,plusanythoughtsandemotionsarising,andacknowledgeandstaywiththemasbestyoucan.Allowtheringingtosimplybeasound.
TRYTHIS
Whenyouhearthephoneringing,immediatelyaskyourself,“WhatamIfeelingrightnow?”Checkthethoughts,emotions,andsensationsinthebody,namingthem(forexample,sayingtoyourself:“Fearishere”.)Then,transferyour
awarenesstothebody,eitherbyconnectingtothebreathorbyfeelingyourfeetincontactwiththefloor.Thewholeprocesstakesjustseconds.Onlythen,pick
upthetelephone.
Ifyouknowyouhaveadifficultphonecalltomake,perhapstakeafewmomentsbeforehandtodoaBreathingSpace.
ONHOLDBeingputonholdonthephonecanbringupallkindsofthoughtsandemotions:wemaybe frustratedat thewasteof time,wemay perceive it as an
insult,wemayfindthemusicannoying,andsoon.
However, if we can change thewaywe perceive this,we can reduce the
negativestressitplacesonthebody.Insteadof“waiting”onhold,can
wesimply“be”onhold?
Whynot regard suchmoments as an opportunity to bewith ourselves—a fewminutestakenoutfromworkorhomelifethatofferusthechancetotuneinto
thebodyandthebreath,andallowusjusttobe…tobehererightnow.
Beforeansweringthephone,focusonyourbreathandbody
BEINGPRESENTINCONVERSATIONWhenwe communicatewith another person, all kinds of information—verbalandnonverbal—istransferredbetweenus.However,muchofthetimeweare
sodeterminedtogetourownpointofviewacrossthatwemisswhatothers
aresaying.Weinterruptandspeakoverthem,orwementallyabsentourselves
fromlisteningtothemaswerehearseananswerthatmaynolongerberelevant.Moreover,we filteroutmuchofwhat is said, soweonlyhear thewords
that confirm our particular point of view or story.We ignore or are
unaware of the nonverbal clues that are also offered, because our attention isdistracted.
Incontrast,whenwelistenmindfully,we listenwholeheartedly:we let the
otherpersonspeakwithoutinterruptionandwereallyhearwhattheysay
beforewe respond; we listen with our eyes as well as our ears, noticing
nonverbalcues;andwemakeeyecontact.Furthermore,wetaketimetorespond,sowemaypauseandnoticewhateffectthewordsarehavingonour
bodyandusethatinformationasinvaluablefeedback.
Listening mindfully means we often gain a much clearer and true
understanding of what is being said. We are more aware of our own
storiesandsoacknowledgethattheremaybebiasarising,whichweneedtotakeaccount of. When we listen mindfully, we feel more connected to the
personwithwhomwearehavingtheconversation,andtheyfeelmore
connected to us. We become more aware of our own listening patterns.Becoming aware of our ownpatterns is the first step toward doing somethingdifferently—ifthatiswhatisneeded(andsometimesitisnot.)
TRYTHIS
Beginbysimplynoticinghowyouusuallyparticipateinaconversation.Whatisyournormalmodeoflistening?(Alwaysrememberthatyouaredoingthisinaspiritofkindnessandlearning,ratherthanoneofcriticizingorcondemning.)Notice,too,howotherpeoplelistentoyou.Dotheykeepeyecontact?Aretheymultitasking?Howdoesitmakeyoufeelifthepersonyouaretalking
withseemsonlyhalf-present?
Now,considerhowyoufeelwhensomeoneisfullypresentinaconversationwithyou.Communicatewithothersinthesamewaythatyouwouldlikethemto
communicatewithyou.
★Assoonasyourealizeyourmindiswandering,bringitbacktolistening.
★Avoidinterruptingtheotherperson.Letthemfinish.Youwillthenhave
heardthecompletestoryratherthanonlypartofit.
★Noticeanytendencyyouhavetotrytofixthingsormakethembetterfor
theotherperson,andinstead,seeifyoucanjustbethereforthem.
★Avoidmultitaskinganddojustonethingatatime.Whenyoulisten,just
listen.
★Avoidrehearsingyouranswers.Listenandthenrespond.Youwillfind
yourresponsewillbeimprovedifyouhavereallyheardwhatwassaid.
★Itisokaytopause,takeabreath,andpayattentiontoyourbodyatany
timeduringaconversation.
Remember, we are working to change the habits of alifetime,sobekindtoyourselfwhenyouforgetorwhenyoubuttintoaconversationorinterrupt.
SEEINGIlovedrawingportraitsandwhenyoudrawsomeone’sfaceyouhavetoreally
lookatthemandseethem.Youarenotjudgingthelengthofanoseorthe
sizeofanear,butnoticinghowacertainlinealignswiththisone,oraparticularanglecomesdownfromanother,andsoon.Whenyoudrawsomeoneyouneedtogetupclosetothemandyoufeelaconnection.
Thefollowingpracticedoesnotinvolveanydrawing,butitdoesrequirelooking.Your subject couldbe anotherperson, apet, or an inanimateobject, such as aflowerorastone,orevenaviewfromawindow.
TRYTHIS
Takeapositionwhereyoucanseeyoursubjectclearly,andsettleintoyourseat.Connectfirsttothebreathandthenthebody.
Beginlookingaheadatthesubject.Justopenyoureyestowhatevercomesintoyourfieldofvision.
Noticeanyurgetoturnyourheadinsearchofsomethingmoreinteresting…butifyoudo,justbringyourheadbackinthesamewaythatyouescorttheattentionbackwhenthemindwanders.Noticeanythoughtsarisingandletthemgoorlabelthemas“judging,”“planning,”“past,”orwhateverisappropriate.
Restyoureyesonthesubject,perhapslettingthemroamwithoutturningyourhead…fromtimetotime,becomingawareofthebreathlikearadioplayinginthebackground…movingtheattentionbackwardandforwardinawaythatfeels
rightforyou.Finishbyfocusingonthebreath.
TOUCHINGThisisacompanionpracticetotheSeeingexercise,opposite.Youcandoitasastand-alonepracticeorbeforeorafterSeeing.Forthispracticeyouwillneedanobject—it can be anything, natural orman-made, but it is best to use a smallobject,becauseyouaregoingtoexploreitwithyourhands.
TRYTHIS
Chooseyourobject.Sitinfrontofandwithineasyreachofit.Assumeacomfortablepostureandallowtheattentiontosettleonthebreath.Connectwith
thesensationsofbreathingandthebody.
Closingtheeyes,takeyourattentionintoyourhands…becomingawareofthefingersandthumbononehand…andthenofthoseontheotherhand.
Keepingyourattentioninthebody,movethehandstotheobjectandallowthemtofloatdownsothetipsofthefingersarejustincontactwiththeobject’ssurface.Imagineyouhavenoideawhatthisobjectis,whetherit
isaliveordead,andexploretheobjectbytouch.Wheneverthemindwanders,bringitbackdirectlytothesenseoftouchinthefingersandthethumbs.
Afterawhileyoumaywanttopickuptheobjectandexploreitintheround,andperhapsinvolveothersenses,suchashearingandsmell.Connectwiththe
sourceoftheobject—theearthorthepeoplewhomadeit.
Whenyouareready,placetheobjectbackdown.Now,takeyourattentionbacktothebody,andtothehandsandfingersandthumbsinparticular.Noticewhat
theyarelikenow,afterbeingincontactwiththeobject.
STANDINGINSOMEONEELSE’SSHOES
Western culture promotes a strong sense of individual identity, butmost of usalsobelongtogroups.Ourcirclecanbeasnarrowas“me”versus“therest,” though itusuallystretches to includefamilyandfriendsas
“us” versus “them,” and can extend further outward to become our
neighborhood/region/country versus another. In general, “them” represents
everyonewhoisdifferentfromus.Focusingon thedifferencesbetween
usstrengthensourown identityandmakes iteasier toseparateourselves fromothers.However,thelinethatseparates“us”from“them:isoftenafineone,andthere ismuch tobegained from focusingonwhatwehave incommon
ratherthanwhatmakesusdifferent.
TRYTHIS
Sitsomewherequietwhereyouwon’tbedisturbedandbeginbytakingafewmomentstoconnectwiththebreath(seeMindfulnessofBreathing,andThe
Breath).
Then,bringtomindsomeoneyouhavecomeintocontactwithrecently,whoyouregardasoutsideyourcircle,forwhateverreason.Noticeifyourcriticalmind
judgesyourchoiceandstartscreatingastoryand,ifso,justletitgo.
Holdapictureofthispersoninyourmind’seyeandbeginnoticingthecharacteristicsthatyoushare—perhapsyouarewearingsomethingthesame
colorassomethingtheyarewearing?Ormaybeanitemofclothingisthesame?
Workingfromyourheadtoyourtoes,identifyeverythingthatyouhavein
commonwiththisperson—fromyourgendertoyourbodyparts,fromyourclothingtoyourhairstyle.
SIMPLYNOTICEASMUCHASYOUCAN,HOWEVER
SMALL.
Next,imaginethepersonasayoungchild…assomeone’ssonordaughter…perhapsassomeone’sbrotherorsister…growinguptobesomeone’sgoodfriend…someone’spartner…amotherorafather…agrandmotherora
grandfather.
Wearenotmakingupthingsaboutthisperson,wearesimplyacknowledgingthemasafellowhumanbeingwithsimilarconnections,relationships,hopesandfears,joysandsorrowsasourselves.Theyaresimplysomeonestrugglingtolive
alifeofhappiness,aswealldo.
Now,pictureyourselfstandinginthisperson’sshoes…literallyfeeltheshoestheyarewearingonyourfeet.Howaretheseshoesdifferentfromtheshoesyou
normallywear?Howdoyourfeetfeel?Nowbroadenyourawarenesstovisualizeyourselflivingthelifetheylead…whatdoesthatfeellike?Whatdoyounoticeintermsofsensationsarisinginyourbody…emotions…thoughts?
ALTERNATIVEPRACTICE
Ifyouwanttodothisasaninformalpractice,whenyouareoutandabout,makeapointofnoticingthepeopleyouhabituallyignore.Thesearegenerallypeoplewhoserveusinsomeway—oftentheywearauniform.Wemightlabelthembytheirjob:waitress,policeofficer,andsoon.Wedon’tusuallymakeeyecontact
withthemandwerarelypauselongenoughtoseethepersoninsidetheuniform.So,reallylookatthem.Makeeyecontact,exchangeagreeting.Imagineyourself
doingthejobtheydo…howwouldyouliketobetreated?
Focusonwhatwehaveincommonratherthanwhatmakesus
different
THEEARTHBENEATHUSRecently Iwasatapublicgarden.Thewetweatherhadensured that the lawnwasalushgreencolor,cuttoavelvetsmoothpile.Itbeggedforbarefeet.Thesensationsofhotfeettouchingcoolgrass,ofsinkingintothesoftness,
ofthetickleofgrassagainstskinwereapuresensorydelightthatbroughtbackchildhoodmemoriesofmygrandfatherknockingonthewindowwhenIdaredtorun across his pristine lawn. Whether the lawn is lush or parched, comingdirectly in contactwith the earth is somethingwe don’t do often
enoughasadults.
TRYTHIS
Choosealocationthatissafeandfreefromanydetritus—itcouldbeagardenorapark—andtakeoffyourshoes(andsocksifyouarewearingthem.)
StandinMountainposeandtakeyourattentiontothesolesofthefeet.Becomeawareofyourfeetincontactwiththeground…thesensationofweight,the
contactwithgrass,soil,stones,twigs…
Standstillandknowthatyouarestanding.
Then,liftyourheelsoffthegroundandletthemfallbackdown,raisingfirstoneheelandthentheother.
Peelyourtoesoffthegroundonebyone.Next,feelyourfeet:thesoles,theheels,thetoes,thespacesunderthearches.
Beawareofyourfeettouchingtheearth…thisearththatisspinningbeneathus,yetfeelssolidandstable…thisearththatconnectsfamily,friends,andstrangers
ononecontinentwithothersonanothercontinent…
BRUSHINGHAIRThispracticecouldbedoneonyourself,afriendorpartner,orachild,orperhapsanelderlyparent.Itcanbeawayofconnectingemotionallyaswellas
physicallywitheachotherand isalsoagoodpractice forgetting into the
body.Ifpreferred,thereisnoneedforthereceivertoknowyouaredoingthisasapractice.
While you are doing the brushing, you can focus on the action, feeling theweight of the brush in your hand…noticing how the brushing action changesovertime...feelingthesensationofhairtouchingskin…payingattentiontotheprocessofbrushinghair.
I would encourage you to let go of any need to count the number of strokesbecausehavingatargetsuggestsagoaltoreachwhereasinthispracticewe
areexploringtheprocessitself.
The person whose hair is being brushed can explore the sensations on thescalp…noticing the resonancedown through thewholebody…softening intotheprocess.
In thebookBuddha’sBrain:ThePracticalNeuroscienceofHappiness,Love and Wisdom, neuropsychologist Rick Hanson describes howmonkeysandapescanspenduptosixhoursadaygroomingeachotherand how research has found that the animal doing the groomingbenefitedmostfromtheinteractionintermsofstressrelief.
CREATINGACIRCLEOFKINDNESSOfferingLovingKindness to thosewe care about can be a stand-alone sittingpracticeoritcanformpartofalongerpractice.Itcanalsobedoneinformallyinanyquietspacewhereitispossibletositandreflectundisturbed.
TRYTHIS
Sitandassumeacomfortableposture,perhapstakingafewmomentstotuneintothebreathandallowingyourselftosettle.
Bringtomindsomeoneyoucareabout—itmaybeapartner,aparent,asibling,achild,orafriend,orevenamuch-lovedpetoranimal.Imaginethispersonoranimaland,holdingtheminyourmind’seye,offerthemyourloveandgood
wishesbysilentlyrepeating:
“Mayyoubewell,
Mayyoubehappy,
Mayyoubefreefromsuffering.”
(Rememberthatitisfinetochangethephrasesifyouwish.)
Repeateachphraseslowlyandletitresonate,likeapebblefallingdownawell…
Now,imagineyourselfstandingnexttothepersonortheanimal,perhapsholdinghandswiththepersonorplacingyourhandontheanimalifthatfeels
righttoyou,andrepeatingsilently:
“Maywebewell,
Maywebehappy,
Maywebefreefromsuffering.”
Then,calltomindsomeoneelseyoucareabout,andbringthemintoyourcircleandgothroughthesameprocess.
Continueinthiswayforaslongasyouwouldliketo,addingpeopletoyourcircleandalwaysrememberingtoincludeyourself.Ifyouwish,youcanendby
includingallbeings.
Notice,too,anythoughtsthatmightariseaboutthechoicesyoumake,monitoringhowtheyresonateinthebody,andyouremotions.Ifthereisany
feelingofcontractionortightening,justnoticeandacknowledgeitspresenceandrememberthatyoualwayshaveachoiceofincludingsomeoneornot.
Thisisyourpractice.Asyoubecomemoreexperiencedandifyouwish,you
canmoveontotheLovingKindnesspracticethatisspecificallyaimedatpeoplewhoirritateus(seeThoseWhoIrritateUs),butitisalwaysbesttobeginwith
yourselfandthoseyoucareabout.
Manypeoplefind itastruggle toofferLovingKindness to themselvesandonewayofgettingaroundthisistoincludeyourselfwhenwishingagroup of people well, in particular those we care about. “Maywe behappy”inthecontextoffriendsandfamilyoftenfeelsappropriateinaway that “May I be happy” does not. By relaxing around the idea ofofferingLovingKindnesstoourselveswithinagroup,itbecomeseasiertodoLovingKindnessspecificallyforourselves(seeOfferingKindnesstoYourself).
OFFERINGKINDNESSTOYOURSELFMany of us are more likely to practice meanness rather thankindness toward ourselves. We judge ourselves
remorselessly, making unreasonable demands on
ourselves and offering no quarter when we fall short. We
wouldnevertreatsomeonewecaredaboutinthisway.Offeringkindness toward ourselves is an invaluable practice
andonethatcannotbedonetoooften.Peopleoftenworrythattheyfeelnothingwhendoingpracticeslikethis,butthatisokay.Thereisnoexpectationto
feelanythinginparticular,andyoushouldsimplycontinue.Justasaseed
growsandputsdownrootsunderthesoillongbeforeweseeanysignofleavesaboveground, sochange ishappening insideusbeforewenoticeanyobvioussignofit.Ifyoudothispracticeregularly,youwillnoticeadifference.
Thispracticeiscommonlydoneasasittingpractice.
TRYTHIS
Sitinapostureinwhichyoufeelalertyetrelaxed,grounded,andstable.Beginbytakingafewmomentstoconnectwiththebreath.Placeyourattentionwhereverinthebodyyoufeelthebreathmoststrongly,andjustnoticethephysicalsensationsofbreathing.Rememberthatthebreathisyourhomebase—theplacetocomebacktoifatanytimethingsgetdifficultoryou
loseyourway.
Ifyouwouldliketo,placeonehandovertheheart.Takeafew
momentstofeeltheconnectionofpalmtochest—noticingthe
sensationsofcontact,temperature,andmovement.
Now,beginrepeatingtwoorthreephrasessuchas:“MayIbehappy,
MayIbepeaceful,
MayIbewell.”
Ormakeupothersimilarphrasesthatparticularlyresonatewithyou.Repeateachphrasesilently,noticinganyreverberationsintermsofthoughts,emotionsandsensationsfeltinthebody.Noticinganypullof“movingtoward,”oranyresistanceor“pushingaway.”Whateveryounoticeissimplyfeedbackandan
acknowledgmentofhowthingsarerightnow.
CONTINUEFORASLONGASYOUWANTTO
Peopleoftenfindthisquiteadifficultpracticetodo—wishingourselveswellcangoagainsteverythingwehavebeentaught.However,itisimportantbecauseifwe cannot be kind to ourselves, how canwe hope to be kind to
others?
If you find this practice a struggle, perhaps first try Creating a Circle ofKindness, inwhichwebeginbyofferingkindness to thosewecareabout,andthenincludeourselvesinthatcircle.
Anotherwaythatmightmakeiteasierforyou,istodothepracticeabovewhileholdinganimageofyourselfasavulnerablechildinyourmind’seye.
Feelfreetochangethephrasesasyouwish—althoughbewareofgetting
sidetrackedinsearchingfortheperfectwords.Sometimespeoplefindithelpfultoaddthecaveat“…asit ispossibleformetobe”ifthestateyouaredescribingfeelsoutofreachatthattime.
THOSEWHOIRRITATEUSWeallhavepeopleinourlifewhorubusupthewrongway. I once did the following practice focusing on acolleagueIwas indailycontactwith,butwithwhomIhad a difficult relationship. She was grumpy,
demanding, and often rude (so I thought), but it
wasanimportantrelationshipforbothofus.Icoulddonothing about her attitude, but I could do somethingaboutmineandsoforawhileshebecamemyfocus
inaLovingKindnesspractice,inwhichIwishedthis
personwell,picturingherassomeonewhowantedto
behappy,liked,andloved.
AsIprogressedwiththispractice,thedifferenceinourrelationshipwas
remarkable.However,thechangewasinme;Ihaddonenothingtoher.Inow
sawher inanewlight,whichchangedthewayIrelatedtoher.Itwasnotan
intellectualchange,butanemotionalone. Althoughwe never became
friends,weestablishedagoodworkingrelationship.
Ourbody isa truebarometerofour feelings. Iwasdoing thispracticewithsomeonewhowascausingalotofhurttoafriend.WhenItriedtosay“Mayyoubewell,”Iwassurprisedtofeelastrongresistanceinmybody.Onepartofmewassaying“ComeonAnna,wishhimwell…”yettheotherflatlyrefused.Therewasnowaymytrueselfwaspreparedtodo this, even if intellectually Iwanted to.Rememberinga teachingbyJosephGoldstein,IexploredwhatIwouldbepreparedtowish, testing
different phrases against the sensations I felt inmy body.After a few
momentsIcameupwith“Mayyoubefreefromanger,”sincethiswastheemotionthatwasdrivingthisperson’sbehavior,andIcouldfeelnoresistanceinmybodytosayingthis.Icontinuedthepracticeusingjustthatphrase.
TRYTHIS
Sitinacomfortablepositionandbeforeyoustart,choosesomeonewhoisirritatingyou.(Istronglyrecommendthatyoudonotchooseanyonewhohashurtyousignificantly—keepitsmall,manageable,andsafe,asthispracticecan
stirupstrongemotions.)
Takesometimetosettleintoyourposture,connectingwiththebreathandthebody.Itisimportantfirsttoestablishagoodsenseofthebreath,sothatyoucan
comebacktoitanytimethingsbecomedifficult.
Bringtomindyourchosenperson.Itcanbehelpfultopicturethepersonsomewhereheorshecan’treachyou(suchasonanislandsurroundedbyshark-infestedwaters.)Whereveryoupicturetheperson,beginwishinghimorher
well,usingthefollowingphrasesorothersofyourown.
“Mayyoubewell/happy,
Mayyoubefreefromanger/hate,
Mayyoubecalm/peaceful.”
Silentlyrepeatingthephrases,feeltheresonancerippleoutandnoticetheeffectonthebody,themind,andtheemotions.Returnyourattentiontothebreathif
anyofthesebecometoostrong.(Ifyoufeeloverwhelmedatanytime,returntoOfferingKindnessto
Yourselfanddothisforawhile.)
Youneedtodo thispracticeregularly.Doingitonce isunlikely to create any change. However, it is betterinitially to do it for only a few minutes sandwichedbetweenlongerperiodsofMindfulnessofBreathingandgraduallybuildupthetime.
Remember we are not seeking to change the otherperson’sbehaviororattitudes inanyway.Anychangeswillarise inus,not inthem,butthewayweinteractwiththemmayaffecttheirresponsetous.
WISHINGWELLIwas first introduced to the idea of combining a traditional LovingKindnesspracticewithwalkingbyauthorandmeditationteacherSharonSalzberg.DoingthetwopracticestogethertransformstheformalLovingKindnesspracticetoonethatisinformal,whichyoucandoanywhere.
As with the other practices of this kind, it is important that you choose
phrasesthatresonatewithyou.Theonesherearesimplysuggestions,so
pleasefeelfreetochangethem.
Remember, too, that we are not practicing Loving Kindness with a view tochanginganyone,wearesimplysendinggoodwishestoourselvesand
others.
TRYTHIS
Beginwalking.Ifyouaredoingthisinformally,walkatapacethatisnormalforyou,otherwiseyoumaywishtowalkmoreslowlythanusual.Whileyouare
walking,repeatthefollowingphrasessilentlytoyourself:
“MayIbewell,
MayIbehappy,
MayIbefreefromsuffering.”
Perhapspauseinbetweeneachphraseandleteachonedrop,settle,andresonatethroughthebody.Everytimeyougetpulledawaybythoughtsofsomeoneelse,
oryoubecomeawareofanotherlivingbeingaroundyou(andthisincludes
animalsandinsects),extendyourawarenesstoincorporatethem,too:
“Maywebewell”andsoon.
Then,returntosayingthephrasesjustforyourselfagain.
LETTINGGOOFTECHNOLOGY
Ourcellphones,smartphones,laptops,andMP3playersareallsupposedtomakelifebetterforus.Theyenableustostayin
touchwithfriendsandfamily,and to listen tomusicweenjoy.However, thesegadgetsalsoconnectus to theoffice24/7,anddistract us from what we are doing. How often are youinterruptedfromwhatyouaredoingbythebeepofanincomingtext, phone call, or email? There is nothing wrong with technology until itinterfereswithourrelationshipswithothers.Whatisyourrelationshipwithyourgadgets?
TRYTHIS
Giveyourselfthegiftofuninterruptedtimebymakingaconsciousdecisionnottoanswerphonecallsandemails,ortolistentomusic.Ifgoingcoldturkeyfeelstoobigajump,perhapsjustdecidetofocusononething,suchasgoingtowork
withouthavingheadphoneson.Othersuggestionsare:
★Lookatyouremailsatsettimesonly.Dependingonwhatyoudo,this
couldbeeveryhour,threetimesaday,orevenonceaday.Allowyourself
sometimetofocusonotherthingsandotherpeoplewithoutinterruptions.
★Turnoffyourphonewheneveryoucanor,atleast,putitonsilent.
★Avoidbringingphonestomeals.
★Avoidtakingyourphonetoanyactivitythatissupposedtobetimeoff.
★Whenyouarewithfamily,andespeciallychildren,givethemyourfull
attentionratherthansplittingit.Youwillallbenefit.
JonKabat-Zinntalksoftheimportanceofestablishingamindfulnesspractice
while life is goingwell and you are feeling strong. By doing this you are
learning and practicing skills (“weaving your parachute”) that will be
invaluable when life throws up obstacles. It is much harder to try to
learnsomethingnewwhenweareincrisis.
ThepracticesinthissectionarewhatIcallfoundationalpractices.ThesearethepracticesIcomebacktotimeandtimeagain:watchingthebreath,tuningintomyweatherforecast,andpracticingstayingwiththeitch.Ifyouareacreatureofhabit,deliberatelyputtingyourselfoutsideyourcomfortzonebydoing
somethingdifferentwillgentlybuildupyourstresstolerancelevel.
Themoreyoucanexerciseyourmuscleofawareness,themoreresilientyouwillbeintimesofstress.Researchhasshownthatyoucan“bank”stressresilienceinthebody,somakethemostof timeswhen life isgoingsmoothly—it
willpaydividendslaterwhentimesaretougher.
WAKINGUPTOMINDLESSNESSWhenwestartpayingattentiontoourselves,thefirstthingwenoticeisjusthowmindlessweare.Webecomeawareofhow judgmentalweareaboutothersandhow these judgments influenceour thoughts, actions,
andbehavior.We often notice after the event how quick we were to react
automatically to someoneor something,whichmay leadus to regretwhatwehavesaidordone.
Weoftenhaveatendencytoseethesemindlessmomentsasanotheroneofourfaults. However, it is far better to seize them as opportunities for
congratulation. The fact that we are noticing how mindless we are is an
important first step—the noticing is a moment of wakefulness and
clear seeing. Until we see something for what it really is there is no
possibilityofdoingitdifferently.
Sonexttimeyounoticeajudgingthoughtaboutsomeoneorsomething,labelit—tellyourselfthe“judgingmind”ispresent.
When you realize you could have handled someone or something better,congratulate yourself on the act of noticing this, acknowledge how you
might have done things differently, and remind yourself that the gap
betweenreactionandresponsewillbecomenarrowerwithpractice.Forthisisapractice—wehavetodoitoverandoveragaintolearnnewhabits
andwiser responses.Wewill forget andwewill need to start over. Thiswillalwayshappenanditisintegraltotheprocessofpracticing.
Notice the judgingmind or an inappropriate responsewith a spirit of
kindnessratherthancompoundingtheresponsewithcondemnation.We
areall“worksinprogress.”
THEBREATHMindfulness of breathing is one of the first practices people often learn. Onereasonforthisisthatthebreathisagreatfocusforapracticebecause
itisalwaysthere,sobytuningintoitregularly,wearecreatingananchor
thatwillhelpstabilizeuswhenthingsgetdifficult.
Whenwedothebreathingmeditationswearenot tryingtochangeourwayofbreathing, rather we are just noticing how it is right now. How we are
breathing gives us great feedback on our current state of mind.
Noticing thequalitiesofourbreathing—whether it isshortor long,shallowordeep,andsoon—canbe reallyuseful, ascanbecoming familiarwithhowwebreathenormallyandhowthebreathchangesifweareanxiousorangry.
Youmaynotice thattheactoffocusingyourattentiononthebreath
changes it. If this happens there is no need to worry. If it feels okay, just
continuewatchingthebreathandfeelingthephysicalsensationsofbreathing.
Sometimes people have strong negative associations with the breath that cancause a breathing meditation to be problematic. If this applies to you, Irecommendthatyoutakeyourattentiontoyourfeetonthefloor.Youcandothisasanalternativepracticeoryoucanswitchbetween thebreathand thefeetonthe floor, staying with the breath perhaps only for a moment or two beforegroundingyourselfthroughpayingattentiontothefeetforalongerperiod.Thisisasafewaytopracticebeingwiththebreathatapaceandinawaythat
feelsrightforyou.
When we are watching the breath, the only instruction is to notice and
experience the physical sensations of breathing: the expansion and
contractionofthebelly,theriseandfallofthechest.Staywiththelengthofeachin-breathandeachout-breathandnotice,too,thespacesbetween—whenanout-breathturnsintoanin-breath,andbackagain.
Themomentyourealizeyouaresomewhereelseandyourmindhasbeenpulledaway by thoughts, notice this and come back to the breath. Let go of anynegative thoughts such as “I’m hopeless at this,” or “See—I can’t even stayfocused on the breath.” In fact, thesemoments ofwaking up aremoments ofcongratulation. In suchmoments of realization, you are truly present.All youhavetodoiscomebacktothebreathandstartoveragain.Thisisthepractice.
MINDFULNESSOFBREATHING
This practice is great for getting in to the body and it also developsconcentration.Itisagoodwaytopracticetuningintothebreathandifyoudothisregularly,youwillfinditeasiertoanchoryourselfwhenthingsaredifficult.Youcandoitinformallyanytimeandinanyplacesonooneneedknowyouaredoingit.Youcanalsodoitasaformalsittingpracticeathome(seeposturetips).Followtheinstructions.
Youcandothisforasshortoraslongaperiodasyouwish.Ifyouaredoingitasalongerformalpractice,seesuggestionsonmanagingtime.
Tosupportyourpracticeitcanbehelpfultoalwaysplaceyourattentiononthesamepartofthebody.Choosetheareawhereyoufeelthebreathmoststrongly—forexample,thebellyorthechest.
COUNTINGTHEBREATH
Thisisanotherpracticeforgettingintothebody,andbuildingfocusandattention.Countingthebreathcanbehelpfulifyouarefeelingparticularly
distracted,asthecountingprocessactsasascaffoldonwhichtobuild.Youcandothisasaninformalpractice,butitismorecommonlydoneasaformalsitting
practice.
Takeyourseatasdescribedhere.Startingonanin-breath,countuptofiveonsubsequentin-breaths.Thenstartagainatone.When(anditwillbe“when”ratherthan“if”)youfindyourselfgoingpastfive,justgobacktooneagainas
soonasyourealize.
Yourmindwillwanderandyouwillkeepstartingover.Thisisthepractice.
Focusingonthein-breathand/ortheout-breath.
AvariationonCountingtheBreathistofocusoneitherthein-breathortheout-breath.Chooseeitheroneatthestartofthepracticeandkeeptothisforthe
entiretimeratherthanswitchingbetweenthetwo.
Itcanbeinterestingtonoticethedifferentqualitiesthevariationscultivate.Play,experiment,andinvestigateforyourself.Becuriousaboutyourbreath.
TAKINGABREATHINGSPACEItisagoodideatohaveaquickwayofshiftinggearsandcominginto
thepresentmoment.Thiscanbedoneasamini-meditationthroughoutyour
day, but is also especially helpful when things seem difficult in your life.However,donotuse it to try to fixorchangeanexperience. Your
experiencemaybedifferentafterdoingthispracticebut,equally,itmaybethesameasitwasbefore.
Thebreathingspaceisanopportunitytopauseandshiftfrom“doing”modeinto“being.”We noticewhat is arising for us in terms of thoughts, emotions, andphysical sensations andwe acknowledge their presence (even ifwewish theyweren’tthere.)Thenweturnourattentiontothebreathandbreathewithallthatis arising. This coming into the present moment is the first step to acceptingwhatisarising.
Itcanbehelpfultoschedulethismini-meditationintoyourday,perhapschoosinganevent topeg it to, forexample,eachmealtime.Whenyouforget (whichyouoftenwill) just do theBreathingSpace themomentyou remember. Gradually the process of scheduling will help thispracticebecomesomethingyoudothroughouttheday.
TRYTHIS
TheBreathingSpacewasdevelopedbymindfulnessteacherandtrainerTrishBartley,andpeopleoftensayitisthepracticetheydomostregularly.Ittakesjustacoupleofminutesandyoucandoitanywhere,withoutanyoneknowing.
ItishelpfultoseetheBreathingSpaceasathree-steppractice.Startinaposturethatreflectsaninnerattitudeofalertattention(sitting,standing,orlyingdown.)
Step1Acknowledgewhatyouarethinking…whatemotionsarepresentandwhatphysicalsensationsyouarefeelinginthebody(ifany.)Thisisanoticingandnamingstep.Wearenotanalyzingorjudgingwhattheexperienceis,orwhetheritisappropriateorpoliticallycorrect.Wearesimplyacknowledgingwhatisthere—andtheremaybenothingandthatisjustyourexperiencenow.
Step2Takingyourattentiontoyourbreath,beginfeelingthesensationsofbreathing.Ifitishelpful,youcanrepeatsilentlytoyourself,“breathingin,
breathingout.”Staywiththebreathforafewmoments.
Step3Widenyourfocusofattentionfromthebreathtoincludethewholebody,becomingawareofpointsofcontact,suchasyourfeetonthefloororyour
buttocksonachair…becomingawareoftheroomyouarein…ofanysounds…ofanysmells...Inthisstateofalertawareness,continuewithyourday.
Thispracticeisespeciallyhelpfulwhenthingsseemdifficultin
yourlife
STAYINGWITHTHEITCHThe formal meditation practices, such as the body scan, sitting or movementpracticeallprovideplentyofopportunitiesfordifferentstatesofmind,suchasimpatience,frustration,boredom,irritation,peacefulness,calmness,andsoon,toarise.Learningto“bewith”variousstatesofmindwhenwepractice
canhelpuscopewiththemwhentheyariseineverydaylife.
TRYTHIS
Whateverkindofpracticewearedoing,weareneverdeliberatelymakingourselvesuncomfortableandwecertainlydonotwanttositgrimlythroughpain.However,wecanpracticenotreactingtosmalldiscomforts,suchasanitchor
pinsandneedles.
Wepractice“beingwith”discomfortbyturningtowardit…becominginterestedinhowitisreally“is”…whereitis...whatqualitiesithas…whetheritis
constantorchanging…Whenweareinterestedinsomething,wewanttofindoutmoreaboutit.Wearecurious.Thisisaverydifferentapproachtopushing
somethingaway,becausewedonotlikeit.
Sopracticestayingwiththeitch—theliteralitchandthemetaphoricalitch.Itcouldbeinaformalsittingpracticeorsomethingarisingineverydaylife—
perhapstheurgetofidgetinanimportantmeeting—butexperimentwithwhatitisliketorespondtoitratherthanreacttoit.
TIPAuthorandmeditationteacherJackKornfieldsuggests the“three-
strikes rule.” If younotice adesire, say, to scratch an itchor to enda
practice, he suggests simply noticing the urge and then letting it go.Whenitarisesagain(anditwill),letitgoagain.Then,whenitarisesathird time,youcangiveyourselfpermission tomoveor“scratch”,butdo so mindfully—that is, with full awareness of what you are doingwhileyouaredoingit.
DOINGSOMETHINGDIFFERENTMany of us are creatures of habit. There is a sense of security and
comfort in knowing what is going to happen next and if we are
vulnerabletoanxiety,wetendtotrytocontrolasmuchofourdayaspossible.Thisbecomesproblematicwhenlifethrowsupanobstacleandsuddenly
wearestruggling to remainstandingonshiftingsands, which adds
additionalstressandincreasesouranxiety.
Ifwecanexperimentwithextendingtheboundariesofourcomfortzonewhenthingsarestable,wewillbebetterabletocopewhenlifegoesawry.
TRYTHIS
First,takestockofyourdailyroutine.Howpredictableisyourdailyroutine?
Rememberthatitisnothelpfultomakejudgmentsaboutwhatyoudiscover.Itisjustasnapshotofwhereyouarerightnow.
Now,experimentwithdoingsomethinginacompletelydifferentway.Choosesomethingsmall,suchaswhatyouhaveforlunchortherouteyouregularlytake
towork.Next,decidehowlongyouwilldothisonethingdifferently—forexample,foronedayoroneweek.
Then,doit!Becreative.Beplayful.
HAVESOMEFUNWITHITANDSEEWHATYOUNOTICE.
BEFRIENDINGTHEWANTINGCREATURE
A poem by the fifteenth-century Indian mystic, Kabir,begins “I said to the wanting-creature inside me…”When I feel the pull of craving—whether it is for anextra piece of chocolate, a book, or some gadget—Iimaginethis littlecreature insidemewakingup,
uncurling,andstretching,andmakingitselfknown.It
hasastronglyfelt,identifiablepresence.
Now I recognize my “wanting creature” and I try towatch it rather than give in to it.Will it settle back tosleep after a burst of energy or will it hang around?Sometimes, I do feed it and Iwill have the literal andmetaphorical chocolate, but I am taking the chocolatewith a sense of knowing what I am doing (and itsconsequences) rather than taking it and eating itautomatically.
We can be pulled into all kinds of cravings—for material goods,
particular circumstances, relationships—and identifying andmaking friendswith your inner wanting creature may help you make wiser
choices.
TRYTHIS
Nexttimeyoufeelastrongurgetodosomething,takeyourattentiontothebody.Whatsensationsdoyoufeelthere?Whereaboutsdoyoufeelthesenseof
wantingmoststrongly?
Becurioustofindoutmoreaboutyourwantingcreature…whatitisattractedto…whatdrivesitscravings…
Experimentwithwhathappensifyoufeedit—howdoyoufeelafterward?Whathappensifyouignoreit?Whatdoyounoticeifyouacknowledgeitspresence(forexamplebysayingtoyourself,“Iseeyou,”)butdon’tactonitsdemands?
Playwiththewantingcreatureinsideyou.
Asyoubecomefamiliarwithitscharacteristicsyoumaystartnoticingitsappearancemorereadily;youmaybegintonoticethenuancesbetweendegreesofwanting.Onceyouareawarethatyourchoicesarebeinghijackedbyitsarrival,youaremorelikelytowrestbackcontroltomakeyourdecisions.
Inthebeginningitiscommontorememberaftertheeventthatweweretryingtonoticesomething.Whenthishappens,useitasanopportunityforpracticeratherthandisappointment.Ifyouarealreadyeatingapieceof chocolate taken automatically, begin eating it mindfully, payingattentiontotheactofeating.Noticewhatitfeelslikeduringeatingandnotice, too, how the body feels afterward. Become aware of thoughtsand emotions arising. You may also notice that once you acquire anobject,whateveritis,itbecomeslessinterestingandyourattentionmaymovequicklyontosomethingelse.Usethisasanopportunitytolearn
andremember,sothatnexttimethewantingcreaturethrowsatantrum,
youcanremindyourselfofhowyoufeltwhenyougaveintoit.
WATCHINGRESISTANCEMuchofourunhappinessarisesbecausethingsarenotaswewould
likethemtobe—wewant tobe thinner,morebeautiful,healthier,wealthier,
livesomewherelessbusyorperhapslivelier,changejobs,haveapartner,orgetdivorced…the list isendlessanddifferent foreachofus.Wemayalso
experienceaversiontothehomelesspersoninthestreetorthestarvingchildonthe television, turning away from them because acknowledging their presenceforces us to confront their reality (or our own.) Moreover, we may feel
resistancetotakingexerciseeventhoughweknowitisgoodforus;likewise
with practicingmeditation. In the following exercise,we are not interested inwhy, but simply in what it is about our experience that we are
resisting,andnoticinghowthatresistancefeelsinthebody.
TRYTHIS
Beginbynoticingthemomentsyouhabituallyresistorturnawayfrom.
Payattentiontothebody—particularlytoanysenseofstiffeninguporturningawayfromsomeoneorsomething.Noticeanytensioninthebody,identifywhereitisandwhatformittakes…maybenoticingagrimaceorafacialexpressionthatoccurs…anexternalorinternalrecoilfromsomethingor
someone.
Asyounoticeresistanceinitsmultitudeofforms,acknowledgeitspresence.Saytoyourself,“Ah,Iseeyou!”or“Resistance(or‘notwanting’)ishere.”Besure
tonameitwithcompassionratherthanwithjudgment.Acknowledgeits
presenceandsimplyallowittobethere,insteadofthemoretypicalresponseof
pushingitaway.Perhapsexploreitabitfurther…findingoutwhatresistancefeelsliketoyou.Wheredoyoufeelitinthebody?(Beaspreciseasyoucan
aboutitslocation.)Identifyitsshapeandfeelingtone—isithard,soft,jagged,orsmooth?Isitwarmorcold,solidorethereal?Doesithaveacolor?Doesitmove
aroundorisitconstant?
Becuriousaboutresistance.Howdoyouknowyoudon’tlikesomethingorsomeone,ordon’twanttodosomething?Remember,wearenottryingto
changeitormakeitgoaway,insteadwesimplywanttolearnmoreaboutit,sothatwecanrecognizeitwhenitshowsup.
Webegintonoticetheenergythatisneededtomaintaintheresistance.Becomeawareoftheenergyrequiredtoholdthebodytense…Howdoesthismakeyou
feel?Whatcouldyoudodifferently?
Beginnoticingwhatorwhoyouhabituallyturnawayfrom—itmaybesomeoneatworkwhoyoudon’tgetonwithorperhapsaneighbor.Whetheryouareawareofyourantipathyornot,itwillbecoloringyourrelationshipand
interactionswiththatperson.
Whenwebecomeawarewhatandwhowehabituallyturnawayfrom,wecantakeaccountofthisandmakeallowancesforourjudgmentalattitudes,and
perhapsdeliberatelysetouttoapproachthemdifferently,turningtowardtheminsteadofawayfromthem.Wecanalsobreatheintotheareaofthebodywherewefeeltheaversion,directingthebreath,andbreathingwiththeresistance,
allowingthebreathtocomeupclosetoaversion,to“notwanting.”
NOTICEWHATHAPPENS.BEWITHRESISTANCE.
Itcanfeelcounterintuitivetopayattentiondeliberatelytothesensationsofresistanceandaversionthatyoufeel,soalwaysbeginwithaminorirritationor,ifthatfeelstoochallenging,perhapsstartoffwithnoticingwhenyouarecraving
orwantingsomethingorsomeone(seeBefriendingtheWantingCreature)
SITTINGLIKEAMOUNTAINIn this sittingpracticewedeliberately cultivate thequalitiesof amountain. InWhereverYouGoThereYouAre,JonKabat-Zinnhighlightstheimportantrolethat mountains play in mythology and religion, and suggests that we canborrow the strength and steadfastness of the mountain and
embodyitwithinusduringasittingpractice.
TRYTHIS
Siteitheronthefloororinachair,makingsurethatthelowerpartofthebodyisgroundedandconnectedwiththeearthorthefloorandtheupperpartofthebodyisalertandrisingupward.Youshouldfeelaslight“push-me-pull-you”
tensionbetweenthetwohalves.(SeePosture)
Takeafewmomentstoconnectwiththesensationsofbreathing.Feeltherisingandfallingofthechest…stayingwiththelengthofeachin-breathandthelengthofeachout-breath(andifyoufindyourselfgettingpulledaway,simplycomebacktothebreath.)Then,expandyourawarenessoutwardtogainasenseofthe
wholebodysittinghere.
Next,bringtomindamountainyouknow,orhaveseeninabookorontelevision,ormakeupanimageofamountain.Allowthemountaintotake
shapeinyourimagination—perhapsithasasharppeakormaybeasoftplateau.Visualizetheseasononthemountain…itsslopesmaybecoveredinforest,
snow,orbarerock.Yourmountaincantakeanyformyouwish.
Some of us find visualizations more difficult than others. If you arestrugglingtopictureaparticularmountain,justnoticeyourstruggleandany associated thoughts or judgments, and let them go. Then, justimaginethatyourbodyisamountainandconnectwiththeoverallshapeandstrengthofmountainsingeneral.
Asyoucontinuesittingwiththeimageofyourmountain,begintobringthemountainintothebody—yourheadbecomesthepeak,yourshoulderstheupperslopes,thelowerpartofthebodythelowerslopes,connectingwiththeearth.Sitasyourmountain…connected,grounded,yetwiththepeakrisingupintothe
sky.
Now,becomeawareofthelifeofthemountain…thepassingseasons…thewind…therain…thesnow…andthesunshine,arisingandpassingaway.Yetthroughitall,themountainremains,regardless.Perhapsitbecomesalittlemore
weathered,butitisstillfamiliar,stillthere.Themountainjustsits.
WHATISYOURWEATHERFORECAST?
We are all familiar with the idea of a weather barometer as an instrument topredictthestateoftheweathernowandintheimmediatefuture.Thefollowingpractice was devised bymindfulness teacher Trish Bartley, and in itwe areusing our body as a barometer to determine theweather of our
moods. By learning to recognize our own “weather” through becoming
familiarwiththedifferentfeelingtonesarisinginthebody,wegain
feedbackaboutwhat isgoingonforusinaparticularmoment.Aswebecomemore practiced at doing this, we can use the body as our own emotionalbarometerandwecanbegintopickupearlysignsofparticularmoods
astheyariseandsowillbeinabetterpositiontotakeinformedaction.
TRYTHIS
Identifythepartofthebodywhereyouusuallyfeelstress—thisismostcommonlyinthetorso,buttrytobeasspecificaspossibleintermsoflocation.Youmightwanttonotethisdown
somewhere.Practicetuningintothispartofthebodywheneveryouarefeelingstressed,anxious,worried,orexperiencinganother
difficultemotion—bereallycuriousandnoticewhatthesestatesofmindfeellikephysically.
Thendothesamethingwhenyouarefeelingpositiveemotions,suchasexcitement,happiness,calm,orpeacefulness.
Oftenweareunawarethataparticularemotionisinfluencingandaffectingourwordsandactions.Butlearningtorecognizethefeeling“tones”andthe
constantlyshiftingpatternsofboththepositiveandnegativemindstateshelpsusrealizewhatmaybedrivingourthoughts,words,andactions,andthatthey
constantlychange.
HEARINGSOUNDANDSILENCEMindfulness practice is often an explorationofthesensesbuthearingorsoundpracticeisoftenoverlooked.Usuallywhenweheara soundweallocateameaningtoit,oftenwithanassociatedstory based on our experiences of that sound.Thus if you have been in an accident withemergency vehicles attending every time youhear a siren your bodymay respond to it as athreat, and all the memories, thoughts, andassociations from that time may come to thefore.Youmayrepeatedlyrelivetheeventpurelybecause the sound has activated the body
memory.
Inthispracticeweareexperimentingwithbeingwithsoundsimplyassound—anoteornotesstrungtogether.Whenwegetpulledawaybyanassociatedstory,atthemoment of noticing this, we let it go and bring our attention back to thesound.
TRYTHIS
Takeyourseatandallowthebodytosettle,perhapsconnectingtothebreathforfewminutestoanchoryourselfinthebody.
Then,imaginingyourbodyasareceiver,openinguptosound.Thesemaybefar
awaysoundsorinternalsoundsinthebody…hearing…receiving…noticing
theeffectsofdifferentsoundsonthebody.Howdoesthebodyreacttosound?Justnoticingwithoutjudgment.
Wearenotlookingforsound–wearenotactively“listening”.Wearesimplyallowingourselvestoopenandreceivewhateversoundmightcomeintoourvicinity,likearadar.Noticingitarising,noticingitpassing.Noticingitstone,
pitch,timbre.Becomingawareofpuresound.
Noticingthepausesbetweensounds.Thesoundofsilence.
SITTINGBYTHEWATERFALLOur thoughts are very powerful. They weave works of fiction that can
sweep us into another world. The following sitting practice offers a way ofbeingwithourthoughts,withoutlettingourselvesbecarriedawaybythem.
TRYTHIS
Takethetimetosettleintoyourseat.Makesureyoufeelgroundedthroughthefloorand/orchair.Connecttotheplacewhereyoufeelthebreathmoststronglyandmakethatyourpointoffocus.Spendseveralminuteswatchingthebreath,
noticingitseffectonthemindandthebody.
Thebreathisyouranchorandanytimeyoufeelyourselfgettingsweptawaybythoughts,usethebreathtoreelyourselfbackintothebody.Youmaydothis
repeatedly.
Pictureyourselfatthetopofawaterfall,sittingsafelyonarock,withasenseoftheearthbeneath,supportingyou.Perhapstherearerocks,trees,orbushesyoucanholdonto.Thewaterisrushingbyandcascadingoverthetop,carryingyour
thoughts,twistingandturninginminiwhirlpools…
Ifyouwouldliketo,youcanconsciouslyplaceyourthoughtsinthewater,perhapslaunchingthemoutintothecurrentonleaveslikerafts.Somethoughtsmightgetstuckbehindarockandremaininsight,butthepowerofthewater
soonpushesthemon.
Asyousitontherock,youmaybesoakedbythewaterspraybutyouarenot
gettingsweptaway.Yourthoughtspassby,tumblingovertheedge,outofsight
andoutofmind.Youremainsitting,watchingthem.
PAYINGATTENTION
In A Heart asWide as theWorld, Sharon Salzberg tells a lovely story aboutbeing on a retreat. Sharonwent for an interviewwith her teacher, U Pandita,expectingtorelatehermeditationexperiencebutinsteadheaskedhertotellhimeverythingaboutputtingonhershoes.Shehadnotpaidanyattentiontoputtingonhershoessoshewentawayandnoticedall thatwas involvedinputtingonhershoes.She returnedforhernext interviewconfident that shecould tellall.However,herteacherwasnolongerinterestedinshoesbutaskedherwhatshehad noticed about washing her face; having been so focused on noticing thethoughts,feelings,andsensationsaround“puttingonshoes”,Sharonhadnoticednothing about washing her face. As each day passed, not knowing what herteacherwouldaskhernext,Sharonstartedtopayattentiontoeveryexperienceofherday.
TRYTHIS
Imagineyouhavebeenaskedtotellsomeoneeverythingthereistoknowabouthowyouputonyourshoes.Noticewhatyoudoandwhatitfeelslike.Then
choosesomethingelse,suchas:
★Puttingonyourclothes
★Shaving
★Puttingonyourmake-up
★Eatingbreakfast
★Takingashower
★Cleaningyourteeth
★Leavingthehouse
★Goingtowork
★Dressingachild
★Changingababy
Thebeautyisthatyoudon’thavetodoanythingdifferentlyinordertopractice.Simplybeawareofwhatitisyouusuallydoandthatisthepractice.Noticeasmuchaboutyourexperienceasyoucanintermsofwhatyoufeelphysicallyinthebody,whatyoufeelemotionally,whatthoughtsarepresent,andhowyour
intentionsaffectyouractions.
THEPOWEROFSILENCEThepowerofsilencehasalwaysbeenrecognizedbutitishasneverbeenneededmore than today.Our world is noisier than ever—we have headphones
permanently attached to our ears and we incessantly interact with the worldthroughemails,theInternet,andphones.Althoughthesetechnologieshavetheirbenefits, they can also serve as distractions and give usways to
just avoid being with ourselves. Staying silent and setting aside the
distractionofreadingandinteractingwithotherscanbeliberating.Wearefreedfrom the need to make conversation or to assume a particular
personality,andsilenceallowsus tonoticemoreacutelybothwhat is
happening internally and in the world around us. Our senses are
heightenedandourexperienceissharper,richer,andmoreintense.
TRYTHIS
Droppingintosilencecanfeeldauntingand,unlessyougoawayonretreat,itcanbeimpracticaltoarrangeathome.However,itispossibletobesilentwhiledoingashortactivity,suchaseatingamealorgoingoutforawalk.Youcandeliberatelyswitchoffanygadgets,suchasyourcomputer,cellphone,orMP3player.Experimentbystartingwithashortperiodthatfeelsmanageableand
extenditwhenyoucan.
THEGUIDELINESFORSILENCEVARYBUTGENERALLY
THEYARE:
★Nospeaking(althoughifyoucomeacrosssomeoneelsewhoisnotaware
thatyouareremainingsilent,itisfinetoexchangenecessarywords.)
★Noreading;nolisteningtomusic/radio;nowatchingtelevision.
★Sometimesnoeyecontactissuggested,too—althoughthiscanbringup
strongfeelingsinpeople.Noeyecontactstripsawayanotherwayof
communicating.
★Writingissometimesdiscouragedbutsilencecanalsoopenupawellof
creativity,soitisapersonalchoice.
While in silence, it is fine tocontinuewith routineactivities, suchascooking,cleaning, gardening, walking, and so on. You can, of course, do formalmeditationpracticesaswell.Whenweareinsilence,everythingwedo
ispartofoneseamlesspractice.
Dropping into silence is an opportunity to experience how our “weather”changes fromonemoment to the next.Whenwe are silent,wenoticehow
desperatelywecravestimulationaswebecomeengrossedin,say,reading
instructionsonhowtoturnonafireextinguisherorthelabelonthejamjar.We
mightdoeverythingmoreslowly, aswe areno longer rushingon to the
nextthing;orwemightexperienceaburstofrestlessnessasthestillnessgrates.Wenoticethecolorsonourplateandsubtleflavorsweusuallymiss,andour
senseofsmellisheightened,sowetakemorecareaboutwhatweareeating.We
becomeawareofthejunkthatfillsourmind,thethoughtsthatcircleushour
afterhour.
Beinginsilenceforseveralhoursisnotalwayseasyorenjoyable
butitisalwaysinvaluable.
Whencomingoutofalongerperiodofsilence,suchasadayormore,takecaretoeaseyourselfbackintothenoiseofeverydaylife.Becarefulwhen
doing any activity in which your safety depends on your reflexes, such asdriving,asthesemaybeslowerthanusualatfirst.
Mindfulnesscanhelpusdealwithdifficultemotionsmoreeasilythanwemightdo otherwise. However, before we jump into trying to solve all ourproblems with mindfulness, it is important to have established
somebasicskills, suchas regularly returning to thebreathand tuning in to
thebody(seeChapter2).
Ifwedoapracticetotrytomakeanunpleasantfeelinggoaway,wearegoingtobedisappointed.Thepurposeofthepracticeisnottofixormakethingsbetter,buttopracticebeingwithorperhapssimplyturningtowarddifficultsensations,emotions,andthoughts.Whenwebecomeawareofwhatisgoingoninthebodyandwehaveawillingness toexperienceunpleasantsensations,wemaynoticethemchangingand theymaygoaway,but theymaynot.However, theveryactofbeingcuriousaboutyourexperienceimmediatelyshiftsyou
intothestanceofanobserver,whichmeansyouarelesscaughtupinthe
emotion.
It is important to take small steps topreventyourself feelingoverwhelmedbyfeelings and sensations. Practice on the small irritating things in life.Sometimes thewisest action is to do nothing, and insteadwait for a
timeandaplaceinwhichyouwillfeelsafetopractice.
Rememberthatthebreathisalwaysyouranchor,yourplaceofsafety,andifyoudon’tfeelcomfortablefocusingonthebreath,youcanalwaystakeyourfocustothefeetonthefloorinstead(seeStayingGrounded).
SITTINGANDMOVINGWITHTHEBREATH
Mindfulness of breathing is one of the core practices and I
recommendyoupracticedoing it informally, seeTakingaBreathingSpace,aswell as sometimes doing slightly longer more formal sitting practices, seeMindfulnessofBreathingandTheBreath.
Whenweare feelinganxious. itcanbechallenging tosit still.Ourmind isallover the placewith our thoughts racing here, there, and everywhere. If sittingstill feels toomuch,anoption is to incorporatesomemovement into
your sitting. You could either do this for a few minutes at the start of the
practiceandthen,ifyoustartfeelingsettled,juststop,oryoucandoit
fortheentiretime.
The practice is the same as Mindfulness of Breathing, but we are going tointroduce a small movement of the hands. This is a variation of a
standing exercise done in Qiqong (pronounced “chi-gung”) and if you likemovementpractices,IrecommendfindingoutmoreaboutQiqong.
Before starting you may find it helpful to review the instructions about thebreath.
Whenwearefeelinganxiousitcanbechallengingtositstill
TRYTHIS
Sitinacomfortableposturewithyourhandsinyourlap,palmsup.Youreyescanbeopenorclosed.
Takeyourattentiontothepartofthebodywhereyoufeelthebreathmoststrongly—itcouldbethebelly,thechest,oraroundthenostrilsandlips.Beginbynoticingthebreath—becomingawareofyourbreathrightnow…noticingits
qualitiesandcharacteristics,butnotworryingabouthavingtochangeit.
Asyoubreathein,letyourhandsfloatupward,palmsup,forthelengthofthein-breath…Asyoubreatheout,turnthehandsover,palmsdown,lettingthem
floatbackdowntoyourlap.
Continuedoingthis,movingthehandsintimewiththebreath,breathingin…handsfloatingup;breathingout…handsfloatingdown.
Wheneveryounoticeyourmindbeingpulledawaybythoughts(whichwillhappen),comebacktothebreath,pickingupthemovementofthehands.
REMEMBERTHROUGHOUTTOCULTIVATEASENSEOF
KINDNESSANDCOMPASSIONTOWARDYOURSELFAND
WHATYOUAREDOING.
REDMEANSSTOPHowmanytimeshaveyoudrivenuptotrafficlightsastheychangedfromgreento amber to red and felt your emotions begin to rise?When the lightsare
against us, it can feel as if the whole world is against us, too—
especially if there issomewherewewantorneed tobe.Wetake itpersonally:“Thelightsawmecomingandchangedtored…deliberately.”Doesthatsoundfamiliar?
Whenwefeellikethis,wegetirritatedandpossiblyangry.Perhapsthereis
a recurring story about “this always happens tome” or something
similar.Wemaytightenourgriponthesteeringwheel,ourpalmsmightbegintosweat,perhapswedrumourfingersinthehopeofspeedingthingsupalittle…wemaystartmutteringtoourselvesorperhapssnappingatothersinthecar.Wemightpullouttodoaquicklanechangeinthehopeofgainingasecondortwowhenthelightsgotogreen…
Buthoweverwerespond,ifwewanttokeepourlicensewehavetostopata
red light.No ifs, nobuts, that’s theway it is all over theworld.Getting
irritatedandtenseatsomethingwecandonothingabouthasconsequences:
★Ourfight-or-flightmechanismiskeptonhighalertwithadetrimental
effectonourhealth(seeHowCanMindfulnessHelpUs?).
★Ithasanegativeeffectonouremotions.
★Ourmoodaffectshowweinteractwithothersaswellashowweinterpret
events.
★Whatiftherewasanalternative?Whatifwecouldseetheredlightasan
opportunityratherthananobstacle?
TRYTHIS
Asthelightchangesfromambertoredandyoucometoastop,noticewhatishappeningtoyou…Payingattentiontoyourexperience,noticing…
Whatthoughtsarise?
Whatemotionscanyoufeel?
Whatphysicalsensationsarepresent?Noticinganyfeltsensationsarisinginthebody,particularlypointsofcontactwiththesteeringwheel…Howareyour
shoulders?Yourneck?
REMEMBER…
Wearenottryingtochangeourexperiencebutratherjustnoticingwhatitisandwhat is happening to it,moment bymoment.Often sensationsmight be
subtle. You may not feel or notice anything and that is okay. Making the
intentionofturningtowarditiswhatisimportant.
Wheneveryourmindgetspulledawaybythoughts,justkeepcomingback
to the body; perhaps noticing the rising and falling of the breath, the
expansionandcontractionofthechest,feelingtheweightofthefeetonthefloor,yourhandsonthewheel,yourbodyintheseat…Justsitting.
Reminding yourself that in this moment there is nowhere else to go… Just
being present. Practice as long as
thelightremainsred.
Afterward, reflect on what you
noticed.
Theredlightcanbeasignalto
stopandpayattentiontoour
experience
COMMUTINGCHALLENGESI was sitting on the bus in the sweltering heat—my discomfort
exacerbatedbyheavybagsonmylap.Arathercorpulentgentlemangoton
andtooktheemptyseatnexttome.Althoughhespilledoveronto“myside,”wehadspacebetweenusuntilthebusfilledupandhewasforcedtoedgeovertomakeroomforthosestandingintheaisle.Suddenlyhewassquashedagainstme,hotandsticky,andautomaticallyItutted.AsIfelthisrecoilwebothstartedapologizingsimultaneously. Iknew itwasnothis fault.Mydiscomfortwasasmuchduetotheweightofmybagsandthesunbeatingthroughthewindow.Iexplainedthistohimandapologizedandwithinsecondswewerechattingabouttheunpleasantnessoftheheat.
InthissituationIwasalreadyuncomfortableandmyfellowpassengerwas
simplytheproverbiallaststraw.My“tut”ofdispleasurewasdonewithout
thinking, but as it occurred I was aware of his embarrassment as well as thewiderpictureof thebags (myfault)and theheat (noone’s fault.) Icoulddonothingaboutmyautomaticreaction,but Icouldchoosemynext
response—myapologyandexplanation.Neithermadeupforthepotentialhurt
Icausedhim,butIhopetheywentsomewaytoalleviatingit.
Ifyoucommuteonpublictransport,youwillknowhowfrequentlyyoufind
yourselfintestingsituationswithfellowtravelers.Toooften,wearrive
forworkfrazzledandgrumpybecauseof interactionssuchas this.Butwhat ifwe could do something different—what if we could turn the commute
intoanopportunityforpractice?
TRYTHESE
Thenexttimeyouarefeelingfraughtwhenyoucommute,trydoingoneofthefollowingpractices:
1.Takeyourattentionintothebody,becomingawareofitsresponse.Whatareyoureactingagainst?Noticeanysenseoftightening,contracting,orpullingaway.Asyoubecomeawareofyourexperience,youcanchoosehowyourespond.Youcantakeyourattentiontotheareaoftightnessandexploreit
further.Youcanalsotakeyourattentiontothebreathandusethebreathasananchor,stayingwiththelengthofeachin-breathandeachout-breath.
Alternatively,youcandirectthebreathintothepartofthebodythatfeelstense,breathinginandoutthroughthatspecificarea.
2.Weoftenhaveasetideaofhowsomethingshouldpanoutandwhensomeoneinterfereswiththatscenariowearedisappointed.Thisthenripplesoutintootherinteractions.Instead,ifwecanremainopenaboutpossibleoutcomes,wearelesslikelytohaveparticularexpectations.Forexample,ifyouexpecttogetaseatonabusoratrainandthenyoufindtheyarealltaken,youwillfeeldeprived.Butifyoucanletgoofanyexpectationsofgettingaseatandsimplyremainopentothepossibilityofonebeingavailable,findingorbeingofferedaseatbecomesabonus.Lettinggoofexpectationscanopenupopportunities—youmaysee
somethinginteresting,orreadajobadvertisementoversomeone’sshoulder…thepossibilitiesareendless.
3.Itisusualtofeelmorestressedwhenourchoicesaretakenawayfromus.Usingtheseatscenarioabove,ifwemakeabeelineforanemptyseatand
someonecutsinandtakesit,weusuallyfeelannoyed(likewhensomeonestealsanemptyparkingspaceinfrontof
you.)However,IhavefoundthatifI
makeadeliberatechoicetostopandbowoutofthe“competition,”andoffertheseattotheotherperson,I
don’tfeelharddoneby.Imaystillbestanding,butI’mnotstandingwithacloudofirritationhangingoverme.IfIcanperceivethesituationinanotherwayandbecomeindifferenttogettingaseat,thesituationwillnolongertriggermybody’sstressreactionbecauseitisnotseenastaxing.
4.Manyofusfeelexcessivelytime-pressured—weneedtogetintotheofficebyacertaintimeandifwedon’t,it
willbea“disaster.”Wehavetogetthistrainratherthanwaittwominutesforthenextone,becauseotherwisewe’llbelate.So,wewaitanxiously,notsureiftherewillberoom.Thedoorsopenandwejointhethrongpushingforwardtomakeroomfor“justonemore.”Wecramourselvesinandarriveatworkstressed.Butwhatifyouletthattraingoandwaitforthenextone,oreventheoneafterit?Ifyouarrivesixminuteslater,butinamuchcalmerstate,isthatnotabetterstart
totheday?It’syourchoice.
Ifwecanchangethewaywerelatetoanexperience,itmaycease
beingstressfultous.
BUMPERTOBUMPERThebeautyofmindfulnessmeditationisthat lifealwayspresentsuswith
plentyofopportunitiestopractice.This is another practice to do in the
car ina traffic jam. It is likely tobea longerpractice than that inRedMeansStop,butitisasimilarprocess.
TRYTHIS
Beginbymakinganintentiontobepresentinyourexperience,howevermuchyouwishitweredifferent.
Exploreturningtowardtheexperience—firstnoticinganythoughtsthatmightbearising,notingthemasthoughts…Then,becomeawareofanyemotions,
perhapsnamingthemtoyourself(seeNamingYourDemons)—forexample,“Angerishere,”andacknowledgingtheirpresence,evenifyoufeeltheyareinappropriate.Ifyounoticejudgmentsarisingaroundtheemotions,justnote:
“judging.”
Andthenturnyourattentiontoyourbody.Whatareyounoticinghere?Becomeinterestedinthebody’sresponsetotheexperience.Whatsensationsareyou
feeling?Howwouldyoudescribethem?Wherearethesensationslocated?Aretheyfixedormovingaround?
Continuingexploringtheexperience,becominginterestedinit.Whileyouarestuckhereinyourcar,thereisnothingelsetodobutfindoutabitmoreabout
it…
Afterward,reflectbackonwhatyounoticedwhilepracticingmindfulnessinthetrafficjam.
This practice can be done anywhere you have to wait—for example, at thesupermarketcheck-out,atthebank,andsoon.Makeanintentiontotransformevery line from an obstacle into an opportunity to practice
mindfulness.Bypracticing“beingwith”thesmallirritationsofeverydaylife,
we are practicing turning toward andbeing curious about experiences that areperhapsstressful,butthatarenotgoingtooverwhelmus.
STAYINGGROUNDEDWhen things are feeling difficult, it is easy to become overwhelmed withemotions.Ourthoughtscanquicklycatastrophizeus intoastateof
anxiety. The usual recommendationwhen things get difficult is to go to the
breath,butforsomepeopleandonsomeoccasions,thiscanbehardtodo.Ifwe
arepanickingourbreathingisoftenaffectedandtheideaofturningour
attention to it seems toomuch toask.Thealternative issimpleandcan
alsotakeyouintothebody(whichisthereasonwefocusonthebreath.)
Youcandothispracticeanywhereandnooneneedknowyouaredoingit.
TRYTHIS
Whetheryouarestandingorsittingdown,takeyourattentiontoyourfeetandbecomeawareofthemonthefloor.Notethesensationsofthefeetmakingcontactwiththefloor,perhapsnoticingtouch,warmth,coolness…Become
awareofthefeettouchingthefloor.
Everytimeyourthoughtspullyouawayintothepastorthefuture,justescortyourattentionbacktothefeet.Youcandothisoverandoveragain.
Afterafewminutes,ifyouwouldliketo,expandyourawarenessoutfromthefeettoincludethebreath.Asyoubreathein,imagineyouarebreathingin
throughthefeet…fillingthebodywithair…fillingthebodywithoxygen…andthenbreathingoutthroughthefeet,lettingtheairgo.
Continuedoingthis,breathingindeeplythroughthefeet…breathingout
throughthefeet…aslongasyouwishto,bringingyourattentionbacktothe
feetwheneveritwanders.
NAMINGYOURDEMONSTraditionalBuddhistpracticesincludenaminganyemotionsthatmayarisewhilepracticing,forexample,sayingsilently,“Jealousyishere”orwhateveritisthatyou identify.Naming the emotion in this way objectifies it and the
namerbecomesanobserverwiththeperspectivethatthatentails,
rather than “being jealous,” which suggests being caught up in that emotion.Researchhasalsoshownthattheactofnaminganemotionactivatesapartofthebrain involved in self-regulation. The bare fact of naming is what is
important, rather than any subsequent conclusions youmay draw about that
emotion. Sowhenwe namewhat is arising,we are actively dampening downthatemotion—aswellastakingtheobserverstance.
Thefollowingpracticeisusuallydoneaspartofasittingpractice,butyoucouldalsodo it informally in your everyday lifewhenyounotice difficult emotionsarising.
TRYTHIS
Wheneveryounoticeastrongemotionarising,identifyitandnoteit—forexample,say“Sadnessishere”orsoftlyrepeat“Sadness,sadness,sadness.”Atthesametimenoticewhat“sadness”feelslikeinthebody.Sometimestheremay
bemorethanoneemotionarising—forexample,angermaybethefirst,strongestemotion,butfearisoftenfoundunderlyingit.So,sometimesitcanbehelpfultojustsitandnoticehowemotionswaxandwane.Youmaybesurprised
whenyouidentifywhatcomesup.
Asalways,itisimportanttorememberwithallofthesepracticesthatwearenotdoingthemtomakethemdisappear.Thisisoneoftheparadoxesofmeditation—ifyoupracticewiththeintentionofmakingadifficultemotiongoaway,youwill most likely be disappointed. We are practicing “being with”
whateverarises.
BEFRIENDINGTHEDIFFICULTIf we suffer from a chronic illness or condition, we can have a tendency toidentify strongly with it—for example, we might say to ourselves: “I am ananxiousperson.”.Thisfeelsverysolid,concrete,andpermanent.Itsoundsasifthis is how we are all the time, whereas of course the reality is often verydifferent.Anxietyorpaincancomeandgowith longperiodsofabsence.Thecondition is something that appears from time to time like an
unwanted friend or relative. We can encourage this attitude of
distancingourselvesfromtheconditionbygivingitaname—preferably
somethinghumorous.
Afriendofmine,Elise,wasdiagnosedinherthirtieswithrheumatoidarthritis,apainfulconditionthatcanbeverydebilitatingattimes.Elisecallshercondition“MrArthurItis.”Soshemightsay,“Arthurturnedupattheweekend—absolutepain.Icouldn’tgoout…”Immediately,thereissomedistancebetweenherandthecondition.Shedoesnotwantitandshecannotstopitarrivingoutoftheblue,butshecanstopitdefiningher.Itisonlyonepartofher.
TRYTHIS
Ifyousufferfromanillness,acondition,oraphobia,giveitaname.Forexample,forfear,anxiety,orpain,youcoulduse“MrFear”or“Annie
Anxious,”or“PercyPain.”Whatevernameyouchoose,useitwhenevertheproblemarises.Itwon’tmaketheproblemdisappear,butitmightchangethe
wayyourelatetoit.
Ask“CanIstaywiththisforjustonebreath?”...
Thenstaywithitforjustonemore
JUSTONEBREATHWhetherweareinphysicaloremotionalpain, theideaofbeingabletobear itfor any length of time can seem insupportable.Withmindfulness,weareconstantly“workingtheedge”ofbeingwiththedifficult.
“Workingtheedge”isthedifferencebetweenforcingyourselfwithgrittedteethtoput upwith something,whichoftenhas a feelingof resistance and tension,anddippingyour toe in thewater, testingyourboundariesand limits.Youcanexperimentwithidentifyingthisdifferenceinarangeofscenarios.
Ioftenhaveamentalimageofmyselfinsideagiantplasticbubblethatexpandstoward and into the difficulty, but thenwithdraws and contracts,while all thetimeIremainsafeandprotectedinside.
Muchofoursuffering,whetherphysicalorpsychological,iscausedbythoughtsof having to put up with it for an indeterminate amount of time. We usecatastrophizinglanguage,suchas“Thisiskillingme,”and“Ican’tputupwiththismuchlonger.”
However, Jon Kabat-Zinn suggests reframing your approach and askingyourself.“Can I staywith this for justonebreath?”Afterall, thepain is thereandyoucannot escape it… then, assumingyouare coping, stayingwith it forjustonemorebreath…andsoon.
Theonlyinstructionistostaywithonebreathatanyonetime.Staywith
thelengthofanin-breath,andnoticethetransitionwhereanin-breathbecomesan out-breath, then stay with the length of that out-breath. There is no
expectationofstayingwithmorethanthat.
Anytimeyourthoughtspullyouaway(andtheyprobablywill),justcomebackto the“edge”andopentothepossibilityofstayingwith it for justone
breathmore.
AWALK IN THE RAINRain—it isoftencoldand it is alwayswet.Howdoyouusuallyreact to
going out in the rain? Most of us put on a raincoat, possibly gumboots,
unfurl the umbrella, and tentatively venture out, head down bracing ourselvesliterallyandmetaphoricallyagainsttheelements…
Nexttimeitrains,whynottrysomethingdifferent?
TRYTHIS
Allowingtheraindropstobounceoffyourface,soakingyourhairandtricklingdownyourback…Noticingthebody’sreaction
…perhapsashrinkingawayoradelightinitscoolness…becomingawareofanythoughtsoremotionsarising…
acknowledgingtheirpresencebutbringingtheattentionbacktothebody.Doingthisoverandover...Noticinganytensingofmuscles…locatingtightnessand
acknowledgingit…
Feelingthesensationofwatertouchingskin...tastingraindropsonyourtongue…openingtothesmellofwaterandwetnesseverywhere.Becoming
awareoftemperature…noticinganysenseofbeingpulledintotheexperienceorwantingtopushitaway(andrememberingwearenotseekingaparticular
outcome).
BEINTHERAIN...HOWEVERTHATMAYBE.
OPENINGTOTHEWIDERWORLDWhenwearecaughtupindifficulty,ourworldbecomessmallandcontractedaswe focus totally onour problems.Our thinking also contracts, andsuffering
chronic stress has a negative impact on the brain, preventing new
neurons growing and actually causing areas of the brain to atrophy and die.Whenweare stressed,weareunlikely tobecreativeoropentonew
ideasorwaysofthinking,andwemayfeeloverwhelmed.Connectingtoa
sense of a wider world can help counteract this feeling and create a
smallshiftthatisenoughtosetanewtangent,achangeofdirection.
TRYTHIS
Ifyouarefeelingoverwhelmed,findaplaceoutsidewhereyoucanconnectwithsomespace.Ifyouareinanurbanenvironment,perhapstrytogosomewhere
highsoyoucanriseabovethecrowdedstreets,orfindapatchofgreeninapark.Orperhapsjustlookoutofawindow.Ifyouareinthecountryorbythesea,you
maybeabletofindawide-openspacewithavistaoverlandorsea.
Whetheryouarecontemplatingthewater,theland,orthesky,justsitquietly,and“open”tothatsenseofspaciousness.
Connectingtoasenseoftimelessness:Thismountainthathassurvivedmillennia…orthisvistathathaswitnessedthesmallsorrowsandjoysof
generationsofpeoplebeforeme…orthesewavesthathaverolledonshoreaftershore,connectingfamiliesfromonesideoftheworldtotheanother…oreventhisskythatiseternallybluedespitebeingobscuredbycloudsorrainfromtime
totime.
JUSTSIT,LOOK,ANDRECEIVE.
MOVINGINCLOSERTOPAINWhenIhaveamigraine,thepainisexcruciating—thereisalwaysapointwhenitsuddenlytipsintobecomingunbearableandmyonlyrecourseistoliedowninthedark.However,IhavenoticedthatifIpayattentiontothepain,there
isasofteningand loosening sensation inmy forehead and temples. The
painisstillthere,butthemusclesinmyfacerelaxtheirgripandthereleaseoftensionisnoticeable.WhenIpayattentiontothepain,Icanbegintodisentanglethe sensations.Theprocess is akin to unravelingadensely knottedskein of embroidery threads, gradually beginning to distinguish
specificcolorsasthelooseningcreatessomespacebetweenthe
knots. I canpickout the different rhythms and locations ofmydiscomfort. I
begintowatchthepainratherthanbeingenvelopedinit.Itislikesurfingawaveratherthanbeingpulledunderbyit.
TRYTHIS
Beingwithpainischallengingandsoit’sagoodideatomakethemostofanyopportunitytopracticewithsmallepisodes,suchasaheadache,astubbedtoe,or
astomachache.
Takeyourattentiontothelocationofthepain.Noticewhatishappening.Althoughwearenotdeliberatelysettingouttorelaxtheareaaroundthepain,veryoftentheactoffocusingourattentiononitcausesachangetooccur.
Experimentwithmovingabitclosertothediscomfort.Whatdoyounotice?Youcanretreattotheanchorofthebreathatanytimeyouneedto.Thereisno
enduranceprize.
Noticeanythoughtscirclingthemind.Areyouawareofanyparticularemotions?Whatstoriesareyoutellingyourselfabouttheexperience?Areyouaddingemotionalpaintothephysicalpain?Areyourthoughtshelpfulornot?
Youcanbreakthecycleofruminationbytakingyourattentiontothebody—thiscanbetothepainitself(investigatingitintermsoflocation,characteristics,color,temperature,andsoon),tothebreath,ortophysicalsensations,suchascontactwiththesurfaceyouaresittingorlyingon.Alternatively,youcancreateacocktailofallthree,movingupcloserandthenretreatingtoaplaceofsafetyat
apacethatfeelsmanageable.
Itisimportantnottoexpectthepaintojustdisappearbecauseyoupayattentiontoit.Itwon’t,butpayingattentionistheoppositeofavoidance,soitisthefirst
stepinacceptance.Itisonlythroughacceptancethatwecanchangeourrelationshipwithpain.
Watchthepainratherthanbeingenvelopedinit
BEINGWITHTHEUNPLEASANTMindfulness practice is about turning our attention to whatever comes up—includingtheunpleasant—eventhoughthismayfeelcounterintuitive.However,wecannotexpecttosuddenlyjustbeabletoputupwithdifficult
feelings—it isnotaboutgrittingour teethandbearingwhatevermayhappen.
Instead, we are taking a stance of curiosity and interest, andexploringinordertofindoutmoreaboutwhat“difficult”meansfor
us.Andwedothisbybeginningwiththesmallstuff,theminorirritations,and
unpleasantexperiencesthatweallfaceineverydaylife.
TRYTHIS
Makeanintentiontobecomeawareofanyunpleasanteventsthatcomeupforyoutoday.Thisisaboutnoticingthelittlethings:howitfeelswhensomeonepushesinfrontofyouinthelineorsomeonetakesthelastloafofbreadinthe
store,justbeforeyoureachit…
Noticewhatitisthatyouarelabeling“unpleasant.”Howdoyouknowitisunpleasantforyou?Whatdoyoufeelinthebodyandwhere?Whatthoughtsdoyounoticearising?Whatemotionsarepresent—theremaybemorethanone?
Becuriousaboutwhatpushesyourbuttonsandnoticetheeffectonyou:onyourbody,yourthoughts,andyourmood.Notice,too,howitaffectswhatcomes
next.Howdoyouinteractwithothersafterthisevent?
Asalways,wearedoingthiswithaspiritofcompassionandkindnesstowardourselves.Weallreacttounpleasantexperiencesandthispracticeisaboutusingsuchexperiencesasopportunitiestogetclosertosomethingthatfeelsdifficultandfindingoutmoreaboutit.Bypracticingwiththesmallstuffwearegetting
usedtoturningtowardtheunpleasant—weareexercisingourmuscleofawarenesswithparticularregardtothedifficult.Thiswillstandusingoodsteadwheneverwearefacedwithbiggerdifficulties,suchasillness,jobloss,and
bereavement.
Itcanbehelpfultoreflectbackattheendofthedayandnoticeperhapstwoorthree“unpleasant”events,recordingwhatyoufeltphysicallyinthebody,whatthoughtsandemotionsyounoticed,aswellashowyounowfeel,lookingback.
Isthereanythingaboutthisreflectionthatsurprisesyou?Youcandothispracticeforseveraldaysinarowandthenperhapsrepeatiteveryfewmonths.
Youmightalsoliketotrythecompanionpractice,BeingWiththeGood.
WHERETOGONEXTIfyouhavefoundthepracticesinthisbookhelpful,youmaywanttoconsiderdevelopingyourpracticethroughfurtherreadingandperhapsattendingacourseor joining a sitting group. Always practicing on your own in isolation ischallenging.
Ifyouwishtoestablishadailypractice,acourseisthebestwaytodothis.Thereismuchtobegainedfromsharingyourexperienceandlearningwithothers,andthe guidance of a teacher can be particularly helpful. If youwant to look forgroups local to you, search forMBSR (Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction),MBCT (Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy) and/or Vipassana or insightmeditation.Thefirsttwoaresecular,thethirdispartoftheBuddhisttradition—sittinggroupsareoftenlinkedtoaspecificBuddhistorder.
Therearemanybooksaboutmindfulnessmeditationtechniques,mindfulnessforspecificgroups,suchascancer,anxiety,eatingdisorders,andsoon,aswellasdifferent forms of Buddhist meditation. I have listed a few specific titlesopposite,butmanyoftheseauthorshaveproducedothergreatbooks,too.Ihavealsolistedsomeauthorsyoumightliketoexplore.Manyauthorsproduceaudiobooks, which often include guided meditations, and these can be particularlyhelpful.
USEFULWEBSITES
UK
www.bangor.ac.uk/mindfulness Centre forMindfulness Research and Practice,Bangor, North Wales. Buy CDs, learn more about mindfulness professionaltrainingandclassesinNorthWales.
www.bemindful.co.ukLearnmore aboutmindfulness and find a course in theUK.
www.gaiahouse.co.uk Gaia House is a retreat centre offering courses andmeditationretreatsintheBuddhisttradition.
www.londoninsight.orgLondonInsightoffersaprogrammeofeventsbasedontheinsight(Vipassana)meditationtradition.
www.mbct.co.uk Find out more about MBCT and the Oxford MindfulnessCentre.
USA
www.dharma.orgInsightMeditationSociety,Barre,Massachusetts.
www.mindfulnesstapes.comThewebsite of JonKabat-Zinn, selling books andCDs.
www.qigonginstitute.org/main_page/main_page.php Promotes Qigong andEnergyMedicinethroughresearchandeducation.
www.soundstrue.comAudioandvideotitlesanddownloads.
www.spiritrock.orgSpiritRockMeditationCenter isdedicated to the teachingsoftheBuddhaaspresentedintheVipassanatradition.
www.umassmed.edu/cfm/home/index.aspxCenterforMindfulnessinMedicine,HealthCare,andSociety,UniversityofMassachusetts.ProfessionaltrainingandMBSRprograms.
BOOKS
Burch,VidyamalaLivingWellwithPainandIllness:TheMindfulWaytoFreeYourselffromSuffering(Piatkus,2008)
Kabat-Zinn,JonFullCatastropheLiving:UsingtheWisdomofYourBodyandMindtoFaceStress,Pain,andIllness(Delta,1990)Kabat-Zinn,JonWhereverYouGo,ThereYouAre:MindfulnessMeditation inEverydayLife (Hyperion,2005)
Kabat-Zinn, Jon and Myla Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of MindfulParenting(Hyperion,1998)
Kabat-Zinn,Jon,JohnTeasdale,ZindelSegalandMarkWilliams,TheMindfulWay Through Depression: Freeing Yourself from Chronic Unhappiness (TheGuilford Press, 2007) Kornfield, Jack A Path with Heart (Rider, 2002), plusothertitles
Penman,DannyandWilliams,MarkMindfulness:APracticalGuidetoFindingPeaceinaFranticWorld(Piatkus,2011)
Ialso recommendanybooksbyPemaChodron, JosephGoldstein,ThichNhatHahn,and.SharonSalzberg.Therearemanyothergoodbookbooksandauthorsoutthereandreadingonebookwilloftenguideyoutoanotherauthor,soexploreyourlocallibraryandonline,too.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTSEverything I have learned about mindfulness has come from teachers—somefacetofaceandothersthroughtheirbooksandaudioteachings—aswellasfrommy students and my fellow mindfulness teachers, especially Catherine Grey,whoasfriendandco-teachertaughtandsupportedmesomuch.
IoweparticularthankstotheteachersontheMastersprogramattheCentreforMindfulnessResearchandPracticeinNorthWales:TrishBartley,BeccaCrane,DavidElias,andJodyMardula,andespeciallyElunedGoldforhersupportandadvice as my supervisor, as well as to the teachers from the Center forMindfulness inMassachusetts, USA, particularlyMelissa Blacker and PamelaErdmann,andDavidRynickfromBoundlessWayZen.
Iwouldalso like to thankLondonInsightand theregularstreamofwonderfulteachersthere.
ThankyoutotheteamatCicoBooks,inparticulartoDawnBates,SallyPowell,CindyRichards,andGordanaSimakovicforgivingmethisopportunity,andtoAmyEvansforherillustrations.
IgivespecialthankstoScottandmyfamilyforalwaysbeingthereforme,andtoEliseDillsworthforallowingmetoshareherstory.
ABOUTTHEAUTHORANNABLACK began practicingmindfulness as awayofmanaging her own
general and work-related stress. Her professional background in publishingmeans she knows first-hand the pressures of the corporate world and theimportanceofmanagingstress.ShehastaughtmindfulnessintheworkplaceandhasbeenteachingstressreductionthroughmindfulnessincentralLondonsince2006.
AnnahasaMastersinMindfulness-basedApproachestoHealth.ShehastrainedextensivelywithteachersfromtheCentreforMindfulnessResearchandPracticeat Bangor University, and the Center for Mindfulness at the University ofMassachusetts Medical School, USA. She professionally supervises othermindfulness teachers. She has an established personal practice inmindfulnessand meditation—go to www.mindfulness-meditation.now.com. Anna lives inLondon.