Manners for Moving Up

8/13/2019 Manners for Moving Up

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Manners

for

Moving

Up

by: Julie Yap Daza



Why manners?

Along the way as we grow and climb the ladder of success, from

high school to college, from graduation to a first job, fromsingle and carefree, to head or heart of the family, we need

friends who add to the pleasure of every social occasion.

But we also run into strangers. Are they nice people? Should we

be nice to them? who should take the first step?

Who needs manners?

Anyone who wants to win friends and be a better friend.

Everyone realizes life can be more pleasant and enjoyable if

everyone else followed the rules. All of us can be more pleasant

and enjoyable if everyone else followed the rules. All of us

place a premium on being considerate and thoughtful of

others.

You don't need manners if you are:

1. a bum

2. a hermit

3. shipwrecked and all alone on an island

4. a convict on death row

5. an inmate in a mental institution

6. living alone and never coming out of your house7. being consistent with your lifetime habits of not ever brushing

your teeth, taking a bath, and changing clothes

8. a beggar

9. still in your mother's womb



Hello! Hello!

Use the telephone only when you have to....whether it's your

own telephone,your office phone, or someone else's phone,

but especially when it's not your phone.

Whether you are calling or being called, keep the conversation

short. It is good manners to keep the telephone free for others

to use.

When you have dialed a wrong number, say 'Sorry.' It sounds

almost as good as 'Hello.'

On the telephone, your voice is you. Do not sound indifferent,irritated, or intimidating. If the call is not for you, offer to take a

message.



Save Lives.

Know How, Where and When to Cross the Street.1. Use the pedestrian lane. It is usually marked w/ white stripes.

2. When there is no pedestrian lane, cross from corner to corner.

MOTORISTS MUST RESPECT PEDESTRIANS.

They come to a full stop as soon as a pedestrian puts his/her

foot on the pedestrian lane. When approaching an intersection,motorists slow down and stop for the sake of pedestrians

crossing or about to cross.

BUT PEDESTRIANS MUST RESPECT THEIR OWN VULNERABILITY.

Don't Court Danger. Don't be a jaywalker. A jaywalker darts

between cars, takes short cuts and risks his own life and those

of others.

WINDOW SHOPPING is a wonderful pastime. However, as you

browse from window to window, be aware that other people

on the sidewalk do not have the kind of time that you have.

LET THEM PASS. Be mindful of what you are doing and where

you are going so they don't bump into you or you into them.

DON'T BLOW YOUR HORN UNNECESSARILY, and don't blow

your horn when you know it's useless to do so.



The Mall is ALL

The mall is all the church (or temple), park, and marketplaceused to be. This is where everyone goes to do everything -

shop, eat, browse, people-watch, kill time, meet friends, play

video games, keep a rendezvous.

YOU CANNOT AVOID PEOPLE IN A MALL.

This is where space, because it is so publicly shared, is

important to each and every private individual. You don't wantothers intruding into your space, any more than they want you

in theirs.

In short, let's all have some mall manners.

1. Don't hold up the queue.

2. Don't crowd; it's crowded enough as it is.

3. Don't be rowdy if you're a group.

4. Don't be a bully in the parking lot.

5. If you're waiting for the elevator, let the people inside get

out first before you rush in.

In the elevator, if you have to talk, keep voices low. Better still,

wait to get off before you begin your conversation.

Make way for others in the corridors, hallways, escalators,

stairs.





Ladies and Gentlemen!

Introductions are a killer if you depend on complicated, old-

fashioned rules of who to introduce to whom.

The most simple rule to remember is:

THE WOMAN'S NAME IS MENTIONED FIRST.

For example:

"Lydia, I'd like you to meet David."

Or, "Lydia, this is David."

Once you know this rule by heart, it will be easy for you to

remember that the name of the older and more important

person is mentioned first.

"Sister Agnes, this is my cousin Bobby."

And, "Your Excellency, may i present to you my wife, Jane."

A gentleman stands up to meet a lady, whether she is

older or younger.

A lady does not have to stand up to be introduced to aman unless he is older or enjoys a higher rank. She does

not have to stand up for a younger person or someone her

age.





TABOO

Gentleman and ladies don't give each other intimate gifts of a

personal nature unless they are lovers, engaged to be married,

or married to each other.

DON'T GIVE UNDERWEAR, expensive jewelry, anything that

could be misconducted.

For example, why give him deodorant unless you're trying to

say he has B.O. (body odor)?

When a man and woman are out on a date in a restaurant, she

does not tell the waiter her order. She tells it to her escort, who

will tell the waiter.

The gentleman saves the day by asking her before she has a

chance to collar the waiter.

“What would you like to have?” The gentleman asks the lady.

Lesson: Lady, wait for your date to ask.

If the waiter has not been properly trained and he asks you

instead of him, pretend you're still trying to make up your

mind. Read the menu or turn to your date and give him the cue,

"SHOULD WE GO FOR THE BLUE MARLIN OR THE LOBSTER

THERMIDOR?"



WHO PAYS???

It's an Oriental tradition that the gentleman pays. But the lady

should understand and offer to pay if:

he is younger

he is earning less

it's a Dutch treat and everybody pays for his and her own

food and drinks.

Q & AQ. Should a woman invite a man to have luch or dinner with

her?

A. Of course. This is the 90's, remember?

Q. How should she go about it?

A. Naturally, simply and sincerely. She should state her

intention clearly, taking care not to come on too strong and

eager.

A professional reason is one of the least complicated ways to

invite a man.

For example, to go over the terms of her insurance policy with

the manager or CEO who had convinced her to buy a policy in



the first place; to discuss securities and investments with her

banker; to acquire background information on a sensitive issue

from a news source if she is a journalist.

Q. Who should pay?

A. The one who did the inviting.

Nonetheless, most men won't let the women pay. But if he lets

you pay for his lunch, don't blame him.



DRESS UP,

DRESS DOWN,

DRESS RIGHT.

IT IS BETTER TO UNDERDRESS THAN TO OVERDRESS.

Why?...Because you do not call attention by sticking out like a

sore thumb.

By being underdressed, you can blend into the woodwork and

hope that there are other who are similarly underdressed.

TO DRESS DOWN DOES NOT MEAN BEING SHABBY.

The truly stylish who dress down occasionally have learned a

few basic rules by heart.

CLOTHES ARE IMMACULATELY CLEAN AND CLEANLY, SIMPLY

CUT.

Simple is not plain or boring.



Underplay colors by using noncolors - black, white, beige, tan,

navy.

Use little or no jewelry.

NIGHTIME DRESSING

When the sun has gone down and people are in a playful, after-

work mood, allows men and women leeway in the choice ofCLOTHING, STYLES, COLORS, ACCESSORIES, JEWELRY.

When daylight has faded and evening shadows move among

the light cast by moon and stars, candles, black, are

appropriate. So is a bit more daring in dressing, makeup or

grooming, and jewelry.

NIGHT IS THE TIME FOR PARTIES, the theater, a romantic dinner

set in the midst of crystal and silver. This is the time to break

the rules for dressing by day.

By day wear cotton or linen. By night, wear silk or satin.

By day wear simple gold jewelry, pearls, a classic watch.

By night, have fun and go funky, let your hair down. Go with the

glow of colored stones if that is your caprice.



Daytime, alight perfume or cologne is preferable to a musky,

seductive scent.

By day, wear an easy hairstyle, easy to comb.

Wear all the black you want at night. Elsa Klensch of CNN says

wear black not to play but to cut a dramatic figure.

Standing Before the Mirror

1. Sexy clothes are for sexy people to be worn to sexy places.

2. You can wear black shoes with almosy aything but you

can't wear white shoes with black stockings or socks.

3. If you have to wear shoes, they must be clean and shined,

in good condition for walking. Do not stand out in them

because they're dirty, grimy, and ready to fall apart. Ugly

shoes are a sign of lack of manners and self-esteem.



BASIC GOOD GROOMING

FOR MEN1. Clip nose hairs!

2. Clip ear hairs.

3. Snip away (do not yank) loose threads in your suits,

shirts, pants.

4. Polish shoes that need to be polished, wash shoes that

need to be washed. Brush suede - not wax!

5. Keep your fingernails short and clean.

Avoid that pink stuff they spread on parlor, it only makes

you look like a vain, dirty old man.

6. Cut your toenails, straight across.

7. If you insist on wearing an earring, choose something

small and subtle. Don't go for the Pirate of the seven

Seas look by wearing those awful gold hoops you could

put a circus animal through.

8. Always check the limbs coming out of your suit.

9. Keep everything on your chest (TIE, JEWELRY, SHIRT) freeof stains and as wrinkle free as possible.

10. Short wash-and-wear hair is fine and can definitely be

SEXY.



If you've got long hair, tie it neatly into a no-nonsense

ponyail at the back.

If it's not long enough, gel back smoothly and show your

ears.

11. Can we all get together and pledge a total ban on long,

heavy gold chains proudly displayed through an open-

till-the-belly-button shirt?

12. Shopping for a cologne?

Bring your girlfriend, wife or special someone along.After all, she'll be smelling you (and hopefully only you)

the most.

If she likes it and you like it, the salesgirl can say "SOLD!"



AND FOR THE LADIES...

1. DO something about your armpit hair!

Shaving, they say, leaves armpits dark while plucking may

cause infection. Hair remover doesn't get it all out and

waxing is as painful as ripping your skin off. So which

method do you prefer? ......CHOOSE AND ACT!

2. If you're one to shave your legs, please spare your

boyfriend or husband the - yuck! - agony of brushingunprotected parts of his body against something that feels

like a cheese grater.

Not shaving regularly is about as attractive as braiding you

nose hair.

3. NEVER remove your shoes in public, much less rub your

toes and ankles together while you're at it.

If you think your toes are pretty enough to be edible,

admire them in the privacy of your home.

4. Water-proof makeup in a tropical climate prevents

smudging caused by sweat.

5. Keep your hair neat and tidy, and please, keep it out of

other people's faces but don't brush it in public.



6. Fragrance is whatever form of cologne, eau de toilette,

lotion, perfume should be subtle and mysterious. Not

overwhelming and sneeze-inducing.



NO, NO, NO, GUYS!!

Men dress more simply than women, which does not mean thatthey have an easier time remembering a few basic rules,

starting with the NO-NO's:

1. A short-sleeved shirt or T-shirt under a blazer or coat

that's part of a suit. NO!

What goes under a jacket? a shirt with long sleeves, in

white or a pale color, plain or in the thinnest stripes.YES!

2. Loud colors on pants. NO! unless worn by clowns,

comedians and entertainers following a script.

Loud colors are perfectly all right for beachwear,

casual tops, and other leisure wear.

3. Heavy jewelry encrusted with stones. NO!

4. Sockless in leather and patent shoes. NO!

If you must go sans socks, wear sandals.

5. Printed shirts in loud colors and in silk (synthetic or

otherwise). NO!

Except at night.

6. Jens, shorts, rubber shoes, sneakers, sleeveless shirts,

collarless shirts for going to a party. NO!



You will be breaking the dress code and your

host's/hostess' heart.

7. Necktie paired with a patterned or printed shirt. NO!

8. Necktie paired with a crumpled shirt. NO!

9. Necktie with short-sleeve shirt. NO!

10. Necktie with jeans and casual slacks. NO!

Stay Sexy, Guys!

Jeans are sexy with shirt tucked-in, if you have a tight butt to

show.

Keep two neckties, one for a powerlunch, one for dating.

The best colors for socks, and you need only

two colors, are black (for your black shoes) and

white (for rubber shoes, tennis shoes, etc..).

Socks must stay high enough above the ankles

to cover your legs when you cross them.

White handkerchiefs are better than colored ones.

Embroidered monograms were not designed to be

conspicuous.



Wear dark suits at night, for formal

occasions, and in winter.

If you can have only one blazer, have it in a navy blue.



LIGHT UP, LIGHTEN UP

All smokers should be courteous and respect the rights of all

non-smokers.

Minors should not smoke. No one should see them tobacco

products.

Smokers should respect the fact that some non-smokers simplydo not want to be near second-hand smoke.

Smokers can ask before they light up, "May I?"

It's as simple as that.

Non-smokers can show smokers that they recognize that

there's a place for them to enjoy a cigarette in a separate,

designated smoking area.



First Date at the Disco

If you're nervous, so is she. So are her parents. Put everyone,

including yourself, at ease by not trying to be someone you're

not.

It helps if you're not properly attired and groomed. If you're

going to a disco, the dress code in most discos and dance clubs

is semi-formal, though this term is used loosely. Another way to

describe it is casual chic.

GUYS.

Wear a shirt with a collar, whether it's short or long-sleeved.

Slacks are better than jeans. No-no's include sneakers, rubber

shoes, and sandals. The way to go is comfortable dress shoes.Leave the baseball cap in the baseball field, please.

GIRLS.

It's simpler to say what not to wear. No rubber shoes, no

shorts, no T-shirts. Do wear whatever is in style, as long as you

can get away with it, in it, anything from the little black dress to jeans and a tank top. Flat shoes or pumps with ine-inch heels

are okay for dancing. Unless you're a real expert, stilettos could

hurt you, and not only your feet.



Your secret weapon:

Use a good deodorant or anti-perspirant.

But avoid strong perfumes.

You'll probably see a lot of people you know. Don't leave your

date alone when you socialize. Introduce him/her to them, but

don't spend more time with them than your date.

On the dance floor, don't take up too much room.

If you don't dance too well, keep your steps simple. If you're an

expert, don't be too eager to show off.

Try not to keep looking on other people.

While dancing, restrain the urge to strike up conversation. This

isn't the time to share your thoughts about life.

Avoid marathon dancing to the point of exhaustion, or getting

your clothes soaked in sweat while you try to catch your

breath.

After two or three numbers, you should be ready to take a

break. Don't be embarrassed to say you're tired.

A disco is a perfect place for a first date because conversation islight. When you can't think of anything more to say, you can

always get back on the dance floor!



TABLE MATTERS!

A table setting includes plates, glasses, spoons, forks andknives, napkins.

DO NOT BE INTIMIDATED BY ALL THAT

DISPLAY OF CHINA, silver and crystal.

Keep in mind that your host or the caterer has arranged the

tableware according to the food that will be served.

As each course arrives on the table, use the utensils in order of

their position - start with the outermost ones, from left side

and right side, moving in toward the plate.

No matter how complicated the setting may appear at first

glance, know that there won't be more than four pieces of any

group at any one time - no more than four glasses, no morethan four knives - besides which, as the dinner progresses, the

waiter will be taking away used utensils, course after course.

On the right, knives are placed with the blade facing the plate.

The dessert fork on top of the plate has its handle pointing left

because the fork is held with the left hand. The dessert spoon,

also on top of the plate, has its handle pointing right because

the spoon is held with the right hand.







DO NOT BURP! If you just did, say "Excuse me."

DO NOT FART! Excuse yourself from the table and do it

elsewhere!

Excuse yourself if you have to leave the table.

Ask permission before you smoke!

Although it is permissible these days to use a toothpick, cover

your mouth with your hand when you do. Never pick your teeth

with your fingers in public. Go to the restroom to do this

privately.

Do no floss in public!

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Manners for Moving Up