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    The Watery Grave and the Blades of Death

    Cassie and Kaisa

    My name is Dormitrious Cat-Lord Rodent-Slayer III (once removed through marriage). I

    was recently engaged in a perilous predicament. Id been unfairly judged by my recent incident

    of upchuck on the new carpet. They showed me no mercy. They banished me from my throneand kicked my assets into the wild.

    I looked around in the jungle of doom. It was green and... there was this large watery

    grave in the corner of the... unruly judgement zone. Twas deep and ominous. Yet, I noticed

    another trap of death. First I heard it... then... I saw it! It was large! Oh, so very large! It had...

    spinning blades of mass destruction. Twas wielded by the massive lardman of the estate. How

    could he wield such a weapon! I didnt understand! He was feeble minded and... MERCY

    SAKES, look at the perspiration flowing from that blubber!

    After I ripped myself from the ghastly trance, I realized THAT THE SPINNING BLADES

    OF DOOM WERE COMING TOWARDS ME! I dodged into a bush, looking for an escape.

    Suddenly the burning ball of light in the sky dispersed as darkness reigned upon the judgement

    zone. As if my situation as of current was not already to its worse extent, liquid began pouring

    from above, drenching me in misery.

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I remembered screaming for the unfortunate wetting

    of my freshly attended coat.

    After lament for my fur, I noticed the deadly weapon was back! I had no choice but to

    retreat backwards, unfortunately, towards the pit of watery despair. It was coming closer... and

    CLOSER...AND CLOSER! What was I to do? My life flashed before my eyes. I stood there,

    gazed, frightened. The cruel grinding noise of the weapon flooded my senses. I looked behind

    me- the watery grave. I turned back around- the deadly weapon. How would I die? Which

    would be worse?

    Just as I thought my life was just about to end as the blades neared, my hind legs onestep from the water, my savior came! The lethargic shemaster of the caste came pounding from

    the door from which I was banished.

    FLUFFY! She screamed as she plucked me up and trapped me within her lardy rolls of

    safety. It was painful, but I was no longer near death as she charged back towards the house. I

    was safe.

    As I turned my head back to capture a last glance, I witnessed the lardman dazing off

    and plunging the bladed machine into the watery grave. To my deepest amusement, he

    tumbled in afterwards.

    What was that?! I remembered the shemaster asking.

    Mew, I said innocently.

    Aw, the shemaster exclaimed, forgetting the noise and going back inside.

    The lardman thrashed for a few moments, then the yard became silent. The flaming ball

    in the sky reappeared and all was well within the kingdom.

    My name is Domitrious Death-Lord Rodent-Slayer III (once removed by marriage) and I

    am a survivor.