Adopting in Michigan from Michigan.adoption.com How We Navigated by Heath Boston

Recently, I was hired in by the Michigan

Adoption Resource Exchange as an

Adoption Navigator. When most people

start a new job, they begin a journey that

will or can take them down a variety of

different roads. For me, I’d like to think

that I began my journey to this position

years ago.

About four years ago, my wife and I were

approached by a friend of a friend as a

potential adoptive family to a teenagers

unborn child. My wife was overjoyed. I,

on the other hand, was guarded and

worried that this wasn’t some sort of

sign, but potentially something that could

cause a rift in our marriage.

I was worried that it wouldn’t work out

and my wife and I would be left holding

on to a room full of emotional baggage.

(Continued on page 2)

Fall 2011 Volume 1, Issue 1

Adoption in Michigan can be

done through a child-placing

agency. The Michigan Adoption

Resource Exchange (MARE) can

help potential adoptive families

find agencies that can facilitate

an adoption.

Children who are in foster care

and are available for adoption

may receive financial assistance

through a subsidy to help with

the adoption expenses. These

children are considered special

needs and some of the

disabilities are emotional,

physical, and mental. Children

who are of minority and are

being placed for adoption as a

sibling group are also

considered special needs.

Families who want to adopt will

need to have a Family

Assessment completed. This

assessment is also called a

home study. Included in this

assessment will be: reports of

interviews with the family,

criminal background checks,

references, personal health

report, income report, and other

required documentation.

Families who have completed

the home study and have been

approved to adopt can then be

matched with a child. Those who

choose to do a Waiting Child

Adoption through Michigan's

foster care system will have

their Family Assessment given

to the child's social worker for

evaluation. If the family is a

good match for the child then

the social worker will

recommend that the child be

placed in the family's home.

Some potential adoptive parents

prefer to adopt an infant or

younger child. Infant adoption

can be done through agencies

that work with birth parents that

choose to place their child for

adoption. Open adoptions are

very popular now and they

simply mean that the birth

family and the adoptive family

have some level of openness.

This can include the exchange

of names, pictures, letters or

even ongoing visits. The level of

openness depends on what the

birth family and the adoptive

family are comfortable with.

Www.mare.org

Michigan Adoption Resource Exchange:

Adoption Navigator Program

Adoption in Michigan

In this issue:

Michigan Adoptions 1

How We Navigated 1

Adoption Navigators 3

Child in the Spotlight .

Wish you were there

“Somehow destiny comes into play. These children end up with you and you end up with

them. It's something quite magical.”

Nicole Kidman

Adoptive parent

FAMILIES ACROSS MICHIGAN

NATIONAL FOSTER CARE STATISTICS

Currently, there are approximately 425,000 children in foster care

in the United States. It's estimated that 115,000 are eligible for

adoption.

In 2009, about 57,466 children were adopted from foster care.

69% of parents who adopt from foster care are married couples,

31% are single-parent families.

Median age of child in foster care: 8.1 years.

Race/ethnicity of children in foster care: 38% Caucasian, 30% Afri-

can-American, 22% Hispanic, 10% other.

The average child in foster care goes through three different place-

ments and stays in the system for about 30 months.

Each year, about 26,000 children age out of foster care.

International adoption can also be a way to

find a child who needs a home. These

children must be considered orphans by the

Bureau of Citizenship and Immigration

Services (BCIS) for the adoption to be

finalized.

(Continued from page 1 Adopting in Michigan)

For my wife, I dove in. I would take the young mother to hospital

appointments and shopping. Soon, I began to look at her like my

own daughter. Eventually, I let my guard down.

Everything came crashing to an end after our son was born. Seven

weeks after we brought Angelo home, the Mom changed her mind.

We, as you could imagine, were devastated. For the first time in my

life, I couldn’t provide any real comfort to my wife. As child

protective services had gotten involved, they encouraged us to

become foster parents.

Almost a year later, we received our first placement, two months

later, we received another. Both of our boys joined our family legally

on February 1, 2011. Our boys, Anali and Mekhi needed us just as

much as we needed them.

People ask my wife and I all the time, do we harbor any ill will

toward Angelo’s mom. I always answer with a quick with a quick

“No.” Had she not come into our lives when she did, we would

never have these beautiful children. Also, Angelo’s Mom was only

guilty of being young.

(Continued on page 4)

(Continued from page 1 How we navigated)

Loren Sanders, MARE Adoption Navigator Supervisor

JARED, Age 13, C07623

Jared is a very friendly and funny child. He

is bright and likes to try new things. Jared

is adventurous and is outgoing. He enjoys

spending time with kids around his age.

Jared is active in the national youth or-

ganization 4H and loves all animals. He

enjoys the outdoors and swimming in the

summer. Jared also loves to read and his

favorite subjects in school are reading,

spelling and math. He is easy to engage

with and is willing to open up emotionally

when he is comfortable and ready.

Jared is receiving treatment to help offer him guidance on developing and respecting

others personal boundaries and space. He continues to overcome a difficult past. At

times, he can be at a loss of words and not be able to express himself around others.

Jared is hesitant in new environments and needs time to develop trust with new peo-

ple. He can also stretch the truth and be disrespectful towards others when things

don’t go his way. At school, he does well but can act out negatively towards his class-

mates on occasion.

Jared needs a family who will love him unconditionally and show him they can be

trusted. The family must help teach him how to express his emotions and support him

in all facets of his development. The adoptive family must also be able to help Jared

learn appropriate personal boundaries with others. Jared is adventurous and active

so it is important that the family continues to encourage his enthusiasm for those ac-

tivities. The family must let Jared continue to participate in the youth organization 4H

as it is an important aspect of his life. The adoptive family must also be willing to sup-

port Jared in his studies and reach out for any additional services that he may need.

Jared needs a family who can reassure him that he will be taken care of and pro-

tected in the home. Jared will need to remain in contact with his sister whom he has

an important relationship with after adoption.

To inquire about Jared, contact MARE at 800.589.6273 or visit www.mare.org

YOU ARE WHAT YOU READ

Want to know more about Foster care

or Adoption?

Here are a list of recommended books

to feed your interest.

BOOKS FOR PARENTS

A Guidebook for Raising Foster Chil-

dren, by Susan McNair Blatt, M.D.

Nobody's Children: Abuse and Ne-

glect, Foster Drift, and the Adoption

Alternative, by Elizabeth Bartholet

Telling The Truth To Your Adopted

Or Foster Child: Making Sense Of

The Past, by Betsy Keefer and Jayne

E. Schooler

Parenting the Hurt Child: Helping

Adoptive Families Heal And Grow, by

Gregory Keck

and

Regina M. Kupecky

The Lost Children of Wilder: The

Epic Struggle to Change Foster Care,

by Nina Bernstein

BOOKS FOR KIDS AND TEENS

Bud, Not Buddy, by Christopher Paul

Curtis

Parents Wanted, by George Harrar

Grover G. Graham and Me, by Mary

Quattlebaum

The Ocean Within, by V. M. Caldwell

The Great Gilly Hopkins,

by Katherine Paterson

MARE recently expanded its services to include The Adoption Navigator Program. Adop-

tion Navigators are individuals within the community who have experience within the

adoption and or foster care system. These individuals are often times adoptive parents

who have learned to navigate through the ups and downs of the adoption process. Addi-

tionally, the adoption navigator, through mentorship ,will help registered families under-

stand the adoption process. For more information about our adoption navigator program

please call us at 1.800.589.6273.

WE WISH YOU WERE THERE

Every year, the Michigan Adoption Resource Exchange, in collaboration with

local agencies and the Department of Human Services, gathers for its annual

kinship festival.

The Kinship Adoption Festival is designed to increase community awareness

of children in the foster care system waiting to be adopted. The festival fea-

tured workshops, children activities, food entertainment and display tables

with various agencies information. This year we had a tremendous turnout

and hope next year’s festival will be even bigger!

(Continued from page 2 How we navigated )

With the help of some great people in the State of

Michigan, my wife and I navigated our way through

some pretty tough moments in our life together.

Knowing what we know now, we wouldn’t change a

thing.

The Boston’s: Jalil, Angela, Mekhi, Anali and Heath

Labor of my Heart

I would have given anything to be the one to know

the pain of bringing you into this world but it couldn’t be.

Though I did not bring you here still I labored in my tears

through the long nights I prayed you would come to me.

You are the labor of my heart Child, you are the labor of my

heart with all my strength I prayed

Till they laid you in my arms Child,

You are the labor of my heart.

Blessed be the maker of bone of other bone.

He made flesh of my desire

And today I take you home.

You are the labor of my heart Child,

You are the labor of my heart

With all my strength I prayed

Till they laid you in my arms Child,

You are the labor of my heart Child,

You are the labor of my heart.

Author Unknown

Profiling our wonderful families

Carl & Lori, F08032

Carl and Lori are a loving couple

with five children ranging in age

from 22 years to nine years old.

Their three oldest kids are off at

college but visit on weekends and their two youngest girls are at home. Carl is

the Fire Chief for their township's volunteer firemen in addition to his full-time

work with a feed and grain elevator company. Carl is described as welcoming

and engaging. He enjoys cooking, decorating the house for Christmas, watch-

ing his children play in sports, and following the local boy's basketball team.

He is said to be very organized and family oriented. Lori is a stay-at-home mom

and volunteers to watch family and friends' children for extra income. She is

described as patient, open and funny, and she says that she loves to be with

children. Lori enjoys knitting, attending her children's sporting events and pi-

ano recitals, and gardening.

As a family, they attend church at least twice a month and the children attend

Faith Formation classes during the school year and Vacation Bible School for

one week during the summer. The children are involved in a number of extra-

curricular activities, including swimming and piano lessons and high school

volleyball, basketball, and track teams. They are said to be a close-knit family

who enjoy spending time together around the camp fire, playing catch, going

for walks, and taking family vacations. The family has experience with living

with youth from other cultures; they have taken in three exchange students

from different countries. The children all feel confident that the family would

do a great job with any child they foster and/or adopt.

To Inquire about Carl and Lori, please contact MARE @ 1.800.589.6273

Famous People who have been

adopted

Faith Hill

Ray Liotta

Steve Jobs

John Lennon

Nelson

Mandela

PO BOX 980789

Ypsilanti, MI 48197

800-589-MARE

www.mare.org

mare.org

National Adoption Day is a

collective national effort to raise

awareness of the more than

107,000 children in foster care

waiting to find permanent, loving

families. This one day has made

the dreams of thousands of

children come true by working with

policymakers, practitioners and

advocates to finalize adoptions

and find permanent, loving homes

for children in foster care. In total,

more than 35,000 children have

been adopted from foster care on

National Adoption Day.

A coalition of national partners -

The Alliance for Children's Rights,

Children's Action Network,

Congressional Coalition on Adoption

Institute, Dave Thomas Foundation for

Adoption, and Freddie Mac Foundation -

sponsor National Adoption Day to draw

special attention to foster children waiting

for permanent families and to celebrate all

loving families that adopt. This year the

National Adoption Day Coalition expects

4,500 foster care children to be adopted on

National Adoption Day on November 19,

2011. However, Michigan will celebrate

November 22,2011

Goals :

Finalize adoptions from foster care in

all 50 states

Celebrate and honor families who

adopt

Raise awareness about the 107,000

children in foster care waiting for

adoption

Encourage others to adopt children

from foster care

Build collaboration among local

November 22 is National Adoption Day for Michigan

MARE is a program of Judson Center and is funded by

the Michigan Department of Human Services

MARE

Michigan Adoption Resource Exchange