MIDDLE CLASS MORALITIES

PART 1

1.CONTROLLED PROCREATION2.INVESTING IN CHILDREN’S FUTURE3.DILEMMAS IN YOUNG WOMEN’S EMPLOYMENT

CONTROLLED PROCREATION

Among the middle class in India , one of the most fundamental expressions of the growing need for moral separation from ‘the poor’ and the exercise of control over life is emergent in child bearing and fertility .There have been studies done on this and a link between socio economic , geographic and fertility rate is found out .

It is seen that economically weak classes tend to have many more children , especially in north India .

But socio economic differences in fertility are much less pronounced in southern part of India.

Many Indian middle class people admire the Chinese “one child policy” .

Also many feel that Muslims have higher fertility rate than hindus .

There is one more concern regarding controlled procreation …female foeticide, i.e ,aborting a female foetus .

This “illegal “ act is carried out , especially among the educated

mainly in northern and western India ( most cases in Maharashtra )

Although Indian media has always shown deep interest in taking up this issue .

This is very disturbing that even raised levels of education do not seem to enlighten the middle class to take a more gender-balanced view , but rather they appear to manoeuvre with fertility in a manner that will lead to severely imbalanced sex ratio in the society if the practice spreads to other classes as well .

On an international stage this is mainly a problem in asia , particularly in China and South Korea .

Apart from female foeticide, the attempt to control procreation is also reflected in medicalisation of pregnancies and births and in widespread practice of elective caesarean births .

Another side of it is an unfortunate , even socially disastrous , situation in which a couple is not able to conceive at all .

INVESTING IN CHILDREN’S FUTURE

One of the features of managing reproduction in its physical and social sense is the heavy investment, both economically and emotionally , in child education .

Almost every middle class parent wants his/her child to become an engineer , doctor or a lawyer and other options are considered a waste of time .

Parents and families support their young ones in education but at the same time impose heavy expectations and demands

Among the elites , whose existence is no longer necessarily dependent on regular wages , the attitude may be very different than those from middle class , who must struggle a lot to meet their consumeristic life styles .

Hence the middle class parents want their child to take up a profession which ensures a regular income .

People are starting to realize that education leads to the movement of a person from middle class to upper class .

Among middle class ,both girls and boys are expected to be educated , although boys are given precedence , especially when money is scarce.

There is a section of people in middle class who think that educating a daughter “ too long “ raises problems in finding her a suitable groom later on , especially if the family is not exceedingly rich and able to provide her with high dowry .

There is a general thinking , true enough ,that having good fluency in english is a necesssary condition to succeed in work life , which has increased the craze for english medium schools .

DILEMMAS IN YOUNG WOMEN’S EMPLOYMENT

Although India has witnessed several women CEO ‘s .. On the other hand there is a large section of women who face harassment or discrimination .

Channda kocchar CEO , MD HSBC

DILEMMAS IN YOUNG WOMEN’S EMPLOYMENT

The working culture and atmosphere of most offices and enterprises is largely masculine .

The relationship between a female subordinate and a male boss is a particularly complex issue .

So many families forbid their daughters to work under a male boss , even if they considered working outside the house

Male – female interaction between non –relatives is regulated by avoidance , in North India mostly by the females themselves, and in South and East India ,more than in North , also by men .

Sometimes , many lady educated professionals , living in north Indian metropolitans ,who have migrated to the city in order to work there .. have to fabricate stories concerning their living arrangements and other facts related to their private lives in order to avoid harassment and moral condemnation.

The approach that a family takes to the option of the women working reflects the traditions of the family , jaati and religion .

The women of the lowest group sc/st have commonly been forced to sell their labour power in order to stay alive .

Among the upper castes , on the other hand , the acceptability of women’s employment reflects the traditionally high value of education which means that their daughters have been able to work in high prestige jobs.

The “traditional “ model of potential hindrance to female waged labour is nevertheless under going deep changes .

The tendency of highly qualified women to search for jobs is growing as there is a great demand for skilled labour in outsourcing and IT companies .

A young professional working in a MNC may be able to earn a lot more than her experienced professional father working in a public sector company.

The trend of women working has significantly lead to them establishing an important role in the society .

Women have gained more respect and this also adds to the marriage point that they now get a better man to marry .. And live a life with dignity and self respect ..

PART 2MIDDLE CLASS MARRIAGES &SELECTION OF SPOUSE

MIDDLE CLASS MARRIAGES

MIDDLE CLASS MARRIAGES

Some features of middle class marriages in India:Hefty spending, average being 19.01 lakh Mostly arranged marriages although the no. of free

choice and arranged-cum-love marriages is growingParting of ways is swift and ruthless when parents

don’t agreeOnly 20% of men and less of women are estimated

to have had premarital sex, so no sex before is the norm

Huge dowries especially when education takes long time

Condemnation of love marriage Organisations like Sangh Parivar and Bajrang Dal are fierce

opposers of western influences, especially change in the marriage set up and deflection from traditional Hindu marriages

Much of their anger and disgust is expressed on Valentine’s day which is called as “Prostitution Day”

It is considered totally contrary to Indian culture However these extremist right wing movements are very much

unwelcome by majority of the youth

Valentine’s day violence

Stance of the youth Majority of the youth are attracted by this day which they

consider an excellent day for spending a romantic evening It is celebrated with greeting cards, exchange of gifts and

flowers Some lower middle class youth oppose this festival and

consider the others who enjoy this day as morally questionable and weak in character hence showing the internal divisions among the middle class

The worst affected victims - women

Are always in lose-lose situation in the male dominated society

Their adoption of western dresses like jeans has been subject to huge criticism by the right wing groups

Loses her liberty when these groups force her to wear what they want on the threat of physical assault

Many go against them and end up going in police custody

Both Hindu and Muslim groups enforce their own dress codes on women

Contrasting views

Right wing views Views of the youth

Women’s modesty and their authoritative control by males is essential for creating a pan-Indian society Hinduness (Hindutva)

Parents have all the rights to decide the spouse of their children

Caste, economic and social backgrounds are the basis of marriage

Change with the time Individualism, Liberty

and equality of the genders

Love or Prema should be the only basis of marriage

Only the person marrying should decide his/her spouse

New emerging models

The present era is witnessing the growth and emergence of marriages that combine features of both love and arranged marriages

Long education is giving the youth opportunities indulge in secret romantic relationships

However not much of these relationships end up in marriage due to mainly disapproval of the parents, especially on grounds of religion and caste

This has resulted in creation of “tragic romances” unable to acquire a proper shape without permanent union

Bollywood cinema is one of the main factors in influencing the marriage trend among the middle class

The notions of first love, eternal love and tragedies associated with love have gained ground only through Bollywood fiilms

SELECTION OF SPOUSE

Selection of spouse

QUESTIONS : How to find spouse for children? What to do about inter-caste or love marriage

and demands of children? Whether to demand/offer dowry and how

much? From where do we get the money for marrying

several daughters?

These are the problems causing anxiety to parents, especially women right from birth of their children, especially daughters

Growth of inter-caste marriagesReasons: Arrangement/Accommodation by liberal parents Difficulty in finding the spouse from same caste Shortcomings of the child like dark skin colour,

small dowry, physical/mental disorder etc. Means for creating more powerful

communities/jaati Rise of individualism in urban areas Lack of concern for “what will society think”

mostly among the youth

However still inter-varna marriages are very rare

Parents’ response to the change Parents consider the change unfavourable and as

infiltrating on their pastures of selecting their children’s right spouse

More success of arranged marriages compared to love marriages

Inter caste and inter religion marriages are frowned upon Parents today want their children to do arranged

marriages but they also express their helplessness when their children insist on their own choice for spouse

Marrying in both lower as well as higher caste is not preferred

Some consider love marriage OK as long as it takes place in the same caste

Dilution of caste in urban areas In urban areas, marital selection has come to

be dominated by economic and social backgrounds and the caste is very small factor, especially for middle class people who have lost the knowledge of their caste

The upper castes believe that purity of lineage is lost through inter-caste marriages

Rise of Scheduled Castes and Tribes in urban areas has further led to dilution of caste-based marriages

Widening of the caste or jaati through more inter-caste marriages

Love marriages among Indian youth

Most young people would not go against their parents’ wishes

Would have a love marriage only if their parents approve of it

Some bold(?) lot consider that love marriage very demanding and requires lot of courage and patience. They have to cope with various problems like societal alienation, loss of support from parents and relatives and most importantly loss of mutual understanding

A new trend has been the rise of live-in relationships in urban areas

Contrast between the two gendersChoice of spouse

Boys’ marriage Girls’ marriage

Boys usually marry later than girls

More severe restriction of caste and religion

Choice of girl is more influenced by the fact that it is actually the mother who plays dominating role in shaping up the children

The boy should be someone from the family’s network of friends and family

He cannot be unknown He must have a good job

so that he can provide for her and a family

Their kundali have to match up

New ways of finding spouse Newspapers which have separate

matrimonial pages Marriage websites like

jeevansathi.com, shaadi.com have significant usage among the middle class

Informal parties arranged by various organizations

New ways of finding spouse

New ways of finding spouse These websites have been very

effective in controlling spouse selection amongst the middle class

Each profile has a set of data like occupation, caste, religion, and in some cases even salary and dowry

These have to some extent reduced the burden of parents, especially when they have lot of daughters to marry

What happens to the Dowry?

One of the major issues in the middle class families is the lack of dowry in love marriages-even in cross cousin marriages(traditionally accepted in South India)!

For some, love marriage is an easy way out but it comes with low social prestige.

But to look at the brighter side and potentially changing situations of love marriages, the boy’s side might give to the bride’s side, thus inverting the usual model.

The prevalence of dowry in upper class families can be attributed to their paying capacity and the possibility of it reducing her daughter’s possible suffering in the affinal home. Also, it is a way of demonstrating love and care for their daughters.

The situation somewhat changes when the girl is educated and their ability to earn money may be taken into account in the marriage bargain, especially in South India.

Dowry: North India vs. South India

In South India, cross cousin marriages were prevalent whereas in the North, such unions are considered undesirable and incestuous. But this has stopped even in South India who have become aware of biological complications in the offspring.

The attraction of cross cousin marriages may be due to the emotional values-that such marriages strengthen affinal ties, and also that dowry is not expected in such cases.

But though the absence of dowry may be an attraction, it may simultaneously be a burden in different ways.

Conclusion

Education, schooling, new technologies are increasingly facilitating controlled lives and environments of the middle-class Indians.

‘Arranged-cum-love marriages’ are becoming popular among the urban youth. The young are finding ways of making their influence felt in marriage negotiations.

In this changing scenario, the most affected are young women, who have to handle various pressures-gender, wealth and prestige. They are the ones who carry the heaviest burden of rapid social change. They embody a changing India.

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