Few would argue that our relationships define the quality of our life. Yet, it seems only a fortunate few find the tools needed to successfully navigate beyond the misunderstandings and disconnections that occur in most relationships. You might wonder why it can be so difficult to stay open and connected with those we love? We have all visited those places where it seems impossible to keep our hearts open and, on occasion, the worst versions of ourselves come out to fight. Deep down, we recognize that hard-to-love places are a part of being human. But what can we do? Some try to outrun the pain by shutting down, venting, acquiring addictive behaviors, or blaming others for their pain.. The inevitable result of these habitual choices is suffering, and disconnection with those whom we cherish most. In my life, it has been the practices and tools of compassion that have afforded me the greatest chance to know deep listening and connections of the heart. It was truly a blessed moment that guided me to my first compassionate communication class. This extraordinary program, which “graduates” 250,000 people each year, was first brought to Oahu through a gift from Dr. Jerry Chang to the Forgiveness Project in 2004. It has truly been a life changing gift for me to learn to be present to the upsets or “triggers” that we all fall prey to. Within such “triggers”, I have found the greatest opportunities for growth, wholeness, and connection. Can you imagine upset becoming a transformational vehicle to greater love, deeper trust and connection in your life? The more skillful we become at moving through conflict and embracing difficult feelings, the more harmony, freedom, and love we will find in our relationships. Best of all, there are immeasurable riches hidden within the seemingly unlovable places. Great energy and healing can be found in transforming fear, anger, and grief. I have glimpsed their beauty, tasted their truth, and felt their inspiration. Courage, creativity, and joy are all there, waiting to be revealed in the frightening, the painful, and the hard-to-love places. Compassionate Communication helps us reach beneath the surface and discover what is alive and vital within us, revealing how even all our most regrettable choices and behaviors are based on legitimate and universal needs. We can develop a vocabulary of feelings and needs that help us identify and more clearly express what is going on inside ourselves, while creating a greater awareness of what is going on in others, at any given moment. When we understand and acknowledge our needs, we develop a shared foundation for much more satisfying relationships. Would you like to learn how to bring more connection into your relationships?

   

 

For more information, call or write: Chris Miller - 255-3860 Chrisnvc@gmail.com “These dynamic communication techniques transform potential conflicts into peaceful dialogues. You’ll learn simple tools to defuse arguments and create compassionate connections with your family, friends and others.” - John Gray, Ph.D., author, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus