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HereisoneofthemostinspiringarticlesIhavefoundonpositivethinking.Ifoundthelogicreallysimple,powerfulandappropriate.Youmayfindituseful.--------------------------------------------------------ThePowerofPositiveTalkIremembermydadteachingmethepoweroflanguageataveryyoungage.Notonl

ydidmydadunderstandthatspecificwordsaffectourmentalpictures,butheunderstoodwordsareapowerfulprogrammingfactorinlifelongsuccess.OneparticularlyinterestingeventoccurredwhenIwaseight.Asakid,Iwasalwaysclimbingtrees,poles,andliterallyhangingaroundupsidedownfromtheraftersofourlakehouse.So,itcametonosurpriseformydadtofindmeatthetopofa30-foottreeswingingbackandforth.Mylittleeight-year-oldbraindidn'trealizethetreecouldbreakorIcouldgethurt.Ijustthoughtitwasfuntobeupsohigh.Myoldercousin,Tammy,wasalsointhesametree.Shewashangingonthefirstbiglimb,abouttenfeetbelowme.Tammy'smotheralsonoticedusattheexactt

imemydaddid.Aboutthattimeahugegustofwindcameoverthetree.Icouldheartheleavesstarttorattleandthetreebegintosway.Iremembermydad'svoiceoverthewindyell,"Bart,Holdontightly."SoIdid.ThenextthingIknow,IheardTammyscreamingatthetopofherlungs,layingflatontheground.Shehadfallenoutofthetree.Iscampereddownthetreetosafety.MydadlatertoldmewhyshefellandIdidnot.Apparently,whenTammy'smotherfeltthegustofwind,sheyelledout,"Tammy,don'tfall!"AndTammydidfall.Mydadthenexplainedtomethatthemindhasaverydifficulttimeprocessinganegativeimage.Infact,peoplewhorelyoninternalpicturescannotseeanegativeatall.InorderforTammytoprocessthecommandofnotfalling,hernine-year-oldbrainha

dtofirstimaginefalling,thentrytotellthebrainnottodowhatitjustimagined.Whereas,myeight-year-oldbraininstantlyhadaninternalimageofmehangingontightly.Thisconceptisespeciallyusefulwhenyouareattemptingtobreakahabitorsetagoal.Youcan'tvisualizenotdoingsomething.Theonlywaytoproperlyvisualizenotdoingsomethingistoactuallyfindawordforwhatyouwanttodoandvisualizethat.Forexample,whenIwasthirteenyearsold,Iplayedformyjuniorhighschoolfootballteam.Itriedsohardtobegood,butIjustcouldn'tgetittogetheratthatage.IrememberhearingthewordsrunthroughmyheadasIwasrunningoutforapass,"Don'tdropit!"

Naturally,Idroppedtheball.Mycoacheswerenotskilledenoughtoteachusproper"self-talk."Theyjustthoughtsomekidscouldcatchandotherscouldn't.I'llnevermakeitpro,butI'mnowaprettygoodSundayafternoonfootballplayer,becauseallmyinternaldialogueispositiveandencouragesmetowin.Iwishmydadhadcoachedmeplayingfootballinsteadofjustclimbingtrees.Imighthavehadalongerfootballcareer.Hereisaveryeasydemonstrationtoteachyourkidsandyourfriendsthepowerofatoxicvocabulary.Askthemtoholdapenorpencil.Handittothem.Now,followmyinstructionscarefully.Saytothem,"Okay,trytodropthepencil."Observewhattheydo.Mostpeoplereleasetheirhandsandwatchthepencilhitthefloor.Yourespond,"Youweren'tpayingattention.IsaidTRYtodropthepencil.Nowpleasedoitagain."Mostpeoplethenpickupthepencilandpretendtobeinexcruciatingpain

whiletheirhandtriesbutfailstodropthepencil.Thepointismade.Ifyoutellyourbrainyouwill"giveitatry,"youareactu

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allytellingyourbraintofail.Ihavea"notry"ruleinmyhouseandwitheveryoneIinteractwith.Eitherpeoplewilldoitortheywon't.Eithertheywillbeatthepartyortheywon't.I'mbrutalwhenpeopleattempttolietomebyusingthewordtry.DotheythinkIdon'tknowtheyarereallytelegraphingtotheworldtheyhavenointentionofdoingitbuttheywantmetogivethembrowniepointsforpretendedeffort?

Youwillneverhearthewords"I'lltry"comeoutofmymouthunlessI'mteachingthisconceptinaseminar.Ifyou"try"anddosomething,yourunconsciousmindhaspermissionnottosucceed.IfItrulycan'tmakeadecisionIwilltellthetruth."SorryJohn.I'mnotsureifIwillbeatyourpartyornot.I'vegotanoutstandingcommitment.Ifthatfallsthrough,Iwillbehere.Otherwise,Iwillnot.Thanksfortheinvite."Peoplerespecthonesty.Soremovetheword"try"fromyourvocabulary.Mydadalsotoldmethatpsychologistsclaimittakesseventeenpositivestatementstooffsetonenegativestatement.Ihavenoideaifitistrue,butthelogicholdstrue.Itmighttakeuptoseventeencomplimentstooffsettheemotionaldamageofoneharshcriticism.Theseareconceptsthatareespeciallyusefulwhe

nraisingchildren.Askyourselfhowmanycomplimentsyougiveyourselfdailyversushowmanycriticisms.Heck,Iknowyouaretalkingtoyourselfalldaylong.Weallhaveinternalvoicesthatgiveusdirection.So,areyougivingyourselfthe17:1ratioorareyoushortchangingyourselfwithtoxicself-talklike,"I'mfat.Nobodywilllikeme.I'lltrythisdiet.I'mnotgoodenough.I'msostupid.I'mbroke,etc.etc."Ifourparentscansetalifetimeofprogrammingwithonewrongstatement,imaginethekindofprogrammingyouaredoingonadailybasiswithyourowninternaldialogue.HereisalistofToxicVocabularywords.Noticewhenyouorotherpeopleusethem.

But:Negatesanywordsthatarestatedbeforeit.Try:Presupposesfailure.If:Presupposesthatyoumaynot.Might:Itdoesnothingdefinite.Itleavesoptionsforyourlistener..WouldHave:Pasttensethatdrawsattentiontothingsthatdidn'tactuallyhappen.ShouldHave:Pasttensethatdrawsattentiontothingsthatdidn'tactuallyhappen(andimpliesguilt.)CouldHave:Pasttensethatdrawsattentiontothingsthatdidn'tactuallyhappenbutthepersontriestotakecreditasifitdidhappen.Can't/Don't:Thesewordsforcethelistenertofocusonexactlytheoppositeofwhatyouwant.Thisisaclassicmistakethatparentsandcoachesmakewithoutknowingthedamageofthislinguisticerror.Examples:Toxicphrase:"Don'tdroptheball!"Likelyresult:DropstheballBetterlanguage:"Catchtheball!"Toxicphrase:"Youshouldn'twatchsomuchtelevision."Likelyresult:Watchesmoretelevision.Betterlanguage:"Ireadtoomuchtelevisionmakespeopleslow.YoumightfindyourselfturningthatTVoffandpickinguponeofthosebooksmoreoften!