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Dimitrios in the Penalty Box

Contributors: Jokes – Peter T., Captions – Brian M., Poetry - Kermit

Rolf M., Paul I., Xmas Party photos - Sabina

Articles: Resident News, Humour, Poetry, Comings & Goings, Line Art, Christmas Party Photos, Gripes,

HUMOURI am a senior citizen...

- I'm the life of the party... even when it lasts 'till 8pm.- I'm very good at opening childproof caps with a hammer.- I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I'm going.- I'm good on a trip for at least an hour without my aspirin, antacid...- I'm the first one to find the bathroom wherever I go.- I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.- I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a word you're saying.- I'm very good at telling stories...over and over and over and over.- I'm aware that other people's grandchildren are not as bright as mine.- I'm so cared for: long-term care, eye care, private care, dental care.- I'm not grouchy, I just don't like traffic, waiting, children, politicians...- I'm sure everything I can't find is in a secure place.- I'm wrinkled, saggy and lumpy, and that's just my left leg.- I'm having trouble remembering simple words like... uh...- I'm realizing that aging is not for sissies.- I'm walking more (to the bathroom) and enjoying it less.- I'm sure they are making adults much younger these days.- I'm wondering, if you're only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 150?- I'm anti-everything now: anti-fat, anti-smoke, anti-noise, anti-inflammatory.- I'm a walking storeroom of facts... I've just lost

the key to the storeroom.- I'm a Senior Citizen and I think I am having the time of my life... Aren't I?

Pregnancy Q&A

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?

A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm 2 months pregnant now. When will my baby move?

A: With any luck, right after college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?

A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is 5 months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.

A: So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labour, but pressure. Is she right?

A: Yes in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?

A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labour?

A: Not unless the word alimony means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?

A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?

A: Not if you change the baby's diaper right away.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?

A: When the kids are in college.

Contributed by Peter Tenelly

Resident News

Toronto StarFiorito: Housing cuts will cost us moneyPublished On Mon Dec 12 2011 , Toronto Star

By Joe Fiorito City Columnist

To finish the conversation with Tom and David the other day, I had two simple questions and — hang on, who are Tom and David?

If you watch the news, you saw them on TV last week, pleading with the purse-string stranglers on council in the hope that their home, the Birchmount residence, might be spared.Tom is the tall, slim man with the cowboy hat. David is the stern fellow with steely grey hair. Birchmount is the city’s only residence for single older men.If all goes according to the Ford plan, Birchmount will be sold and the men moved elsewhere.I guess old men are just too damned costly to keep.Okay, Tom, what would happen to the men of Birchmount if they were turned loose and scattered variously around the city, presumably sent to live in rooms of some kind, on their own?Tom said, “Some would make it, some wouldn’t; our nurse, she has to chase some of the guys to get them to take their meds, and some of the meds are narcotics ...”The implication is clear, but I will spell it out:There are some old men who can’t live on their own because they can’t keep track of their meds; if they go off their meds they will get sick, or sicker.There are also some old men whose meds include painkillers and you can bet that, if they are turned out into the community at large, some young men are going to find them and make a nice meal of them.David, the last word to you. He made a frank admission: “I voted for Ford ... my mayor has turned against me. I trusted him.”David, you are not alone if you bought into the notion held by Rob Ford that there was lots of gravy; you were also in good company when you believed there would be no cuts, because that’s what Ford said.Who knew that, in Rob Ford’s world, an old man is a key ingredient of gravy?Tom piped in again. “Let me live in the mayor’s house for a week, and he can live in my place for a week, and then he can go live at Seaton House for a week.”

Oh, look, I am an economic realist: I’m betting that if the mayor turns these guys loose with no supports, the money he thinks he is saving is going to be eaten up by the cost of ambulance rides and hospital visits when these men get sick, or when they get beat up, as happened to Tom.Now let me continue in a pragmatically economic vein and return to the sale of the community houses run by the Society of St. Vincent de Paul.St. Vinny’s is responsible for 86 beds in 11 houses; the men who live in those houses are working their way out of addiction and into the community; they generally stay six months before moving out; let’s round it off and say that 170 men a year return to normal lives.That means 170 men a year work their way off the public purse, a net benefit to us all. That also means that the same 170 men a year go from being recipients of welfare to being net contributors to life in the city through their taxes.In other words, the St. Vinny’s houses are not a drag on our resources. Nor is Birchmount, where the men pay 70 per cent of their income in rent.If we cut that, who are we cutting?You do the math.Joe Fiorito appears Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Email: jfiorito@thestar.ca

Poetry

Christmas time , will forever be,

Memorable moments belonging to me,

The love of family and the tree,

A peace in our hearts forever will be.

Yet let's not forget the essence of joy,

that miracle birth of a baby boy.

Kermit 2011

Resident News The annual Christmas party was held on the evening of Monday, December 12th. The tree lighting ceremony at 7 PM was attended by residents and staff as well as neighbours family members and members of local churches. City Councillor Doug Crawford and his Exec Asst Tina Ferreira came. Two former residents – Kermit and John Elliot also were present as well as 3 residents of Seaton House. The ceremony began with a talk from Varesh followed by councillor Crawford and David Smith and Tom Howat. After the tree lighting, Christmas carols were sung lead by Deborah and Donna before everyone moved inside to the main Dining room. A camera man from the Scarborough Mirror was present and said the article would appear in the Friday issue.

The Band was already set up with speakers and the light show provided by Sam. Dimitrios and Donna danced the

night away with the band while everyone enjoyed the many trays of sweets provided.

Comings and Goings

In the last few months several Residents have left Birchmount and we've had a few new arrivals:Left: Kermit McCleary Allister Lalonde Dennis Gaudette Doug BesharaNew Arrivals: Steven Psaltis David Simmons Abdel Ghobashi Nicholas (returning)

Resident NewsJoe Z. paid a visit on Thursday afternoon, Dec. 15th.He's looking very well and enjoys his new home at a retirement residence near Queen St. and Greenwood.

Resident News

Update on City Budget Closures

In the first issue of the Raccoon Ragg we left off with the group preparing to visit the Budget Committee Meeting at the City Hall. After arriving with a group of 12 residents at 9:30 AM (two more arrived later by their own means), our 4 speakers ( David S., Tom H., Allan M., and Hubert M.) started their presentations about one hour later. Everything went very well and the speakers can be proud of their contributions as demonstrated from the ovations and applause of the audiences. Later in the afternoon the news crew from City TV interviewed David and Tom at the Office of MP Harris across the street and in front of the residence. David S. and councillor Crawford had a live interview on the John Tory Radio show on CFRB. And the next evening David appeared on a panel discussion on "Goldhawk Live" on the Rogers Cable Network.Both the Budget Committee Meeting (37 minutes for our 4 speakers)and the City News interview ( 2 minutes ) are available on the residents computer in the TV room. Ask Paul, Brian or peter if you need help. We do not have video or tape of the Goldhawk Live show or the John Tory interview.

Seaton House

O'Neil House

Birchmount.

DownsviewDell

Bellwoods House

Adelaide Resource Ctr

Fort York

Women's Res.

Resident News12/09/2011

Senator Art Eggleton urges council to cancel the cuts

December 9th, 2011His Worship Mayor Rob Ford and Toronto City CouncilToronto City Hall100 Queen Street WestToronto, ON M5H 2N2 Dear Mayor Ford and Councilors,I feel it is necessary to voice my concerns about a number of the proposed budget cuts currently being looked at by Council. As a former mayor and budget chief I understand the difficulty that goes into crafting a budget and the tough decisions that must be made about certain programs. However, I hope Council will reassess some of the proposed

cuts in this budget, especially those that affect the most vulnerable among us.

Among the proposed cuts are decreases to a variety of services and programs that the poor and less fortunate rely on every day to help improve

their quality of life…

Last, I hope Council will not close the Birchmount Shelter, Downsview Dells Shelter, and Bellwoods Shelter. These shelters are instrumental in helping to get people off the streets or away from abusive relationships and into a safe, warm environment…

City budget cuts should not target the voiceless, the vulnerable, the youth, and the people living in poverty. With a few tweaks the city can still accomplish fiscal prudence while maintaining support for our most vulnerable.Sincerely,Art Eggleton

From the InternetField Workshop #7

Transit ional Shelters in TorontoBellwoods House and Birchmount ResidenceAnabella Wainberg, Stefanie Krasij, Jermet Levene, Dan Anstett, Maurice Richman, Mike SelznickBellwoods House and Birchmount Residence are the two facilities operated by Shelter, Housing and Support Division, Hostel Services that specifically serve chronically homeless senior women and men respectively. They are satellite programs of Women’s Residence and Seaton House, two of Canada’s largest shelters for single homeless people. In Bellwoods House and Birchmount Residence, the opportunity arose to explore different ways of assisting older adults that have been long term users of the hostel system to overcome the barriers, personal and systemic, to

obtain permanent and appropriate housing. The successes are evident in the client’s improved wellbeing, their willingness to accept supports in dealing with their health, mental health and other issues, in winning the acceptance of the community at large and in being touted as models for service delivery to the chronically homeless older adult population.

The workshop will include brief histories of both programs, program descriptions and current challenges, information on other Women’s Residence and Seaton House programs, and a tour of Bellwoods House.Location: Bellwoods House

Seniors home begs city for its survivalDon Peat / Toronto SunThursday, December 08, 2011, 7:37 AM

Tom Howett, a resident of Birchmount Residence, speaks to the budget committee about the proposed closure of the Scarborough shelter where he lives. (DON PEAT/Toronto Sun) Residents of Birchmount Residence begged the budget committee not to close their Scarborough shelter Wednesday."We have gentlemen there that are mentally, physically handicapped, we have people that

have no legs, one leg, walkers, scooters and extreme fears of even going outside past the Birchmount doors," David Smith told the committee."Ladies and gentlemen, we are pensioners, we pay our own way, we pay approximately $700 a month, we don't come free, approximately $30,000 goes back into the city from our pensions.""If you want to look at the cuts don't look at us, we're senior citizens, we've done our time, we've put our time in the country, we've paid our taxes, I suggest you look at Metro Hall there are some people there who have large six-figure pay cheques," Smith added.The 2012 budget recommends closing Birchmount, Downsview Dells Shelter, and Bellwoods Shelter to save around $1.97 million.Around 50 residents, ages 60 to 90, live in Birchmount. The city's per diem cost at Birchmount is around $76 per bed while it would be around $40 per diem for a bed in a long-term care home.Birchmount resident Tom Howett stressed the shelter saved his life."We need Birchmount," he said.Local Councillor Gary Crawford said he was "absolutely dismayed" when he saw Birchmount was on the chopping block."When we look at the fact we have to save dollars I understand that but when we're looking at the dignity of these gentlemen and what they go through on a daily basis, this is not something we should be doing as a city," he said."We have to figure out how we keep this facility along with the other facilities open to these gentlemen, it is about their lives, this is their home."Crawford said he wants the city to look at ways to run the facilities better."Can we save money but still retain the service that it provides to these gentlemen?" he asked.

New Year Celebration

A New Year's Party will be held in the main Dining Room at 7 PM, Friday, December 27th, 2011.Entertainment will be provided by Finnegan's Wake - country and Celtic music.Finnegan's Wake is a well known Irish folk/pub tune.

Finnegans WakeTraditional

Tim Finnegan lived in Walkin Street, a gentle Irishman mighty odd

He had a brogue both rich and sweet, an' to rise in the world he carried a hod

You see he'd a sort of a tipplers way but the love for the liquor poor Tim was born

To help him on his way each day, he'd a drop of the craythur every morn

Whack fol the dah now dance to yer partner around the flure yer trotters shake

Wasn't it the truth I told you? Lots of fun at Finnegan's Wake

One morning Tim got rather full, his head felt heavy which made him shake

Fell from a ladder and he broke his skull, and they carried him home his corpse to wake

Rolled him up in a nice clean sheet, and laid him out upon the bed

A bottle of whiskey at his feet and a barrel of porter at his head

Whack fol the dah now dance to yer partner around the flure yer trotters shake

Wasn't it the truth I told you? Lots of fun at Finnegan's Wake

His friends assembled at the wake, and Mrs Finnegan called for lunch

First she brought in tay and cake, then pipes, tobacco and whiskey punch

Biddy O'Brien began to cry, "Such a nice clean corpse, did you ever see,

Tim avourneen, why did you die?", "Will ye hould your gob?" said Paddy McGee

Whack fol the dah now dance to yer partner around the flure yer trotters shake

Wasn't it the truth I told you? Lots of fun at Finnegan's Wake

Then Maggie O'Connor took up the job, "Biddy" says she "you're wrong, I'm sure"

Biddy gave her a belt in the gob and left her sprawling on the floor

Then the war did soon engage, t'was woman to woman and man to man

Shillelagh law was all the rage and a row and a ruction soon began

Whack fol the dah now dance to yer partner around

the flure yer trotters shake Wasn't it the truth I told you? Lots of fun at

Finnegan's Wake

Mickey Maloney ducked his head when a bucket of whiskey flew at him

It missed, and falling on the bed, the liquor scattered over Tim

Bedad he revives, see how he rises, Timothy rising from the bed

Saying "Whittle your whiskey around like blazes, t'underin' Jaysus, do ye think I'm dead?"

Whack fol the dah now dance to yer partner around the flure yer trotters shake

Wasn't it the truth I told you? Lots of fun at Finnegan's Wake

Whack fol the dah now dance to yer partner around the flure yer trotters shake

Wasn't it the truth I told you? Lots of fun at Finnegan's Wake

For those with a literary bent "Finnegans Wake is a novel by Irish author James Joyce, significant for its experimental style and resulting reputation as one of the most difficult works of fiction in the English language."

Rumours

Ann Longair sent out a letter @ 9 Dec. informing the staff of the results of core study concerning the City of Toronto shelter system. In the study it is suggested that 5 of the 9 city operated shelters be privatized or ******* out. Including the three shelters already slated for closing (Birchmount, Bellwoods and Downsview Dell ) this will leave the city only the two remaining facilities to operate – the core facility of Seaton House and the controversial $11 million+ boondoggle40 bed shelter on Peter Street.

Birch CliffThe many birch trees on John Stark's property on the Scarborough Bluffs are said to have prompted the name Birch Cliff for his cottage there.  When the post office was established in A.H. Mitchell's store in May of 1908, the name Birch Cliff was chosen to serve as the community's name as well.  Birch Cliff is located in the south west section of Scarborough along Kingston Road westward from Birchmount Road.  A few country homes along the bluffs and the Victoria Park recreation facilities were all that made up the area in the 19th century.  After the building of the radial streetcar line from Toronto and its eventual extension to West Hill in 1906, the community took root.  Therefore, it is essentially a 20th century community.  The trustees of School Section # 15, established to serve the Birch Cliff community, erected the area's first school in 1915.  The original building, enlarged several times since, still serves the young people of the area and is one of the oldest school buildings still in regular use. As the community expanded, Scarborough Council moved its meeting location from Woburn to Birch Cliff in 1922 and for the next 25 years, the general business of the old township was conducted from the area, including the township's Public Utilities and Water Works.  As Scarborough grew during the early part of the 20th century, Birch Cliff was home to the township's first Dominion Store, first Canadian Tire Store, and first local newspaper, the News/Advertiser, founded in 1921.  Unfortunately few copies of this weekly paper have survived. They would surely tell us more about the history of Birch Cliff. 

Resident NewsThis is an article about Kermit's wife and

son Kelly that appeared in the Toronto

Star On Thu Dec 15 2011

Fiorito: A son searches for his motherPublished On Thu Dec 15 2011

Deborah McCleary is missing after being evicted from her apartment in public housing. Her son Kelly is desperate to find her.

By Joe Fiorito City Columnist

Kelly McCleary stared at his sandwich and left his juice untouched. We were sitting in a coffee shop on a cold bright morning. He was exhausted. His heart was sore. His mother is missing. She has schizophrenia. He thinks she is on the street again. He can’t find her and isn’t sure where to look.He said, “She was in public housing. She’d been paying rent for seven years. She got one of those evictions; noise.” I shuddered.She was evicted in August. “She’s had schizophrenia for years. She yells sometimes at night. I tried to see her once a week; most

of the times she’d be okay, but there’d be outbursts.” Outbursts? “It’s hard to deal with; she thinks all kids my age are her babies. I’m an only child.” Kelly is 24 years old. At one time, both his parents were homeless. They separated years ago. He was raised, well and thoughtfully, by his grandmother.After the eviction, Kelly said, “I tried to find her a place. A women’s hostel agreed to pick her up on the day. I was there, but no one from the hostel showed up. “I found her on the street outside her place with nothing; just the clothes on her back, and a bag of stuff — no purse, no coat, no ID, no hat. I asked her what happened. “She said they came to kick her out; the cops, and someone from housing. I called the hostel to find out what happened. They said there were no real plans to pick her up on the day.“I took her to a shelter on Broadview where she’d been before. I was trying to get her booked in when she ran off.” He ran after her, but she disappeared. He called his dad, who has issues of his own. They went to all the places they thought she might go; they eventually learned that she went back to her building and slept in the laundry room for a time. Kelly said, “I was thinking it was my fault, letting her run off.” No, Kelly, not your fault.The cops found her, though, and took her to a hospital. “They got her stabilized and I got things in motion so she’d be able to go to her original destination, the hostel. I took her by cab and got her signed in. Then I went for a walk to get familiar with the area.”Smart kid.But because it was a women’s hostel, and because he is a man, he had trouble connecting with his mother. She took off again a couple of weeks ago. The hostel staff didn’t bother to tell him. When he asked, they said she was, after all, free to come and go. Kelly called the cops, who found her once again, but wouldn’t tell him where she was. That was his last lead.He is certain she’s on the street again. That’s her in the photo. Her name is Deborah. “She’s probably thinner now; she’ll have lost some weight. Maybe she’s wearing a green coat, knee-length; maybe a white hat, maybe a big cloth bag with a BMW logo, and other car

logos. Black pants, black boots; she has an ulcer on her left leg, so maybe her boot is open if it’s swelled.”That’s a lot for a kid to deal with. He’s been doing odd jobs until he gets things sorted out. What he’d rather be doing is going to school; he wants, eventually, to work in architecture.Kelly has gone to the cops of 55 Division for help. I can also pass along information to Kelly. I asked him if things were harder because it’s Christmas.Stupid question.Joe Fiorito appears Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Email: jfiorito@thestar.ca