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RAISING TEENS
IN THE 21ST CENTURY
James G. Wellborn, Ph.D.
TEXTING, SEXTING
& CELL PHONES
James G. Wellborn, Ph.D.
• Internet
• Technology
• Sex
• Stupid teenagers (and politicians and professional athletes and . . .)
• High school romance
• “Anonymity”
THE PERFECT STORM
www.DrJamesWellborn.com
SEXTING STATS
www.DrJamesWellborn.com
Frequency
• 4% sent images (Girls=65%)
• 15% received images from Pew
Why teens sext:
• Fun or flirtatious = 66% (most common response)
• Sexy present to boyfriend = 52% girls
• Responding back = 44%
• A joke = 40%
• Feel sexy = 34% girls
• Pressured = 12% girls
TEXTING INFO
www.DrJamesWellborn.com
Kids who text 120+ times a day:
• 3 ½ times more likely to have had sex
• More likely to have been in a physical fight
• More likely to binge drink, use illegal drugs
• Decreased importance of moral, aesthetic, and spiritual goals
• Greater importance of wealth and image
• Greater explicit prejudice toward a broad range of social outgroups.
What’s a parent to do?
www.DrJamesWellborn.com
TEXTING, SEXTING& CELL PHONES
www.DrJamesWellborn.com
Educate yourself
Have the talk.
Set ground rules
Make them earn it
Computers in common areas
Webcams
Monitor devices and accounts monthly
Test their readiness
Warning signs.
Consequences
INTERNET
www.DrJamesWellborn.com
Have the talk
Don’t exaggerate the dangers Teach about privacy and personal information Emphasize trust and good judgment Complete transparency Permanent record Sex, flirting, pornography and sexual harassment Sexual Communication and the law
TEXTING, SEXTING& CELL PHONES
www.DrJamesWellborn.com
Set the ground rules
• Parents have all passwords• Personal information• Acceptable words and information• No sexting or chat rooms visits• All apps must be preapproved• Pictures (and tagging)• Private vs Public information• Friends vs friends• Online bullying/harassment• Language• Sending or receiving aggressive messages
TEXTING, SEXTING& CELL PHONES
www.DrJamesWellborn.com
Educate yourself
Have the talk
Set the ground rules
Make them earn it.
Computers in common areas
Webcams
Monitor devices and accounts monthly.
Test their readiness
Warning signs.
Consequences
ELECTRONIC MEDIA READINESS TEST
www.DrJamesWellborn.com
Novice 6 months of appropriate internet use
Knows internet and social network account rules
Texts responsibly
Remains trustworthy
Owns up to violations and mistakes
ELECTRONIC MEDIA READINESS TEST
www.DrJamesWellborn.com
Expert 6 months as Novice
Resists social pressure
Assertive
Self-control
Media savvy
Talks to you about problems (optional)
After 17 years old, give up
TEXTING, SEXTING& CELL PHONES
www.DrJamesWellborn.com
Educate yourself
Have the talk
Set the ground rules
Make them earn it
Computers in common areas
Webcams
Monitor devices and accounts monthly.
Warning signs.
Consequences
TEXTING, SEXTING& CELL PHONES
www.DrJamesWellborn.com
Monitor devices & accounts monthly
• Review pictures• Check for rogue apps• Review texts
WARNING SIGNS
www.DrJamesWellborn.com
Use computer parents don’t check
Close/minimize browser when parents are around
Furtive, suspicious behavior/innocent, loving behavior
Privacy settings to limit access
Lie/omit details of online activity
Hide/delete instant messages/texts
Use private browsing modes
Clears browser history
Apps that hide apps
Ghost email and social networking profiles
adapted from TRU Insights and McAfee, 2012
SOCIAL MEDIACONSEQUENCES
www.DrJamesWellborn.com
• First violation
• 1 month probation• Supervised electronic media use• Daily talks for 7 straight days• Return to previous level if successful
SOCIAL MEDIACONSEQUENCES
www.DrJamesWellborn.com
• First violation
• If violation is • visiting chat rooms• sexting • ghost accounts
• Shut down all forms of electronic communication.
• Disable camera.
SOCIAL MEDIAGROUND RULES
www.DrJamesWellborn.com
• Second violation
• Lock them out of their accounts• Drop them to pre-Novice level for 3 months
• Third violation in 12 months
• Close their accounts permanently• Lock out internet use from home• Cancel phone texting and internet• Check for Ghost accounts• Consult
www.DrJamesWellborn.come.g., 5 part series on Sexting
There’s A Stranger In My House WWW.BrentwoodHomePage.com
Parenting Teens Newsletterwww.drjameswellborn.com/newsletter
RESOURCES