Sauder School of Business, UBCInstructor: Amanda Goldrick-Jones

March 2010

➤ What is the EXIGENCY to which you must respond?➤ How does your READER feel? What are their needs?➤ What is your PURPOSE (what do you want to accomplish?)➤ What is the key message you want to convey?

1. Are you at fault? Apologize.*

➤Be up-front (beginning of letter)➤Take responsibility by using—

➤first person I, not we; the buck stops with you➤ACTIVE voice (I made a mistake)

➤Avoid “if” or “but” (if you were offended; if you were inconvenienced)

2. Establish common ground

➤Acknowledge the incident (which may include a brief summary of customer’s problem)➤Sound like a human being!

➤Avoid “corporate-speak” (jargon, vague mission-statement language)➤If appropriate, show empathy (without being condescending)

3. Write like a human being, not an evil bureaucrat.

➤Avoid stuffy phrases like– “As per your letter,” “duly noted,” “enclosed herewith”

➤“We regret to inform you.” That’s quite simply scary. It’s used to let families know when loved ones have been killed in combat!

➤ Avoid negatives like “unfortunately,” “don’t,” “unable.” Say what you CAN do.

4. Explain clearly what happened

➤Use a logical organization scheme (chronological, cause & effect)➤Be honest but not defensive➤Focus on potential reader benefits (avoid irrelevant internal details that won’t affect reader) ➤Never blame subordinates!

5. They can’t always get what they want . . . but do provide an option.

➤Describe options/alternatives after the explanation.* ➤Minimize inconvenience (avoid putting reader through phone-tree hell again)➤Stress reader benefits without “sales language” or pressure tactics**

6. Put Good News first.

If your remedy IS what they requested, that’s good news for the reader. So don’t make them wait! Put the good news UP FRONT in the letter (after the apology).

7. Close the incident. Do

➤Keep your humanity (see Apology and Common Ground)➤Use positive language➤Imply that you look forward to meeting the customer’s future needs

But avoid

➤Apologizing again➤Using sales language (i.e. “great”)➤Implying that further discussion may be needed if you are not able to negotiate

Proofread, proofread, proofread to avoid such common errors as ~~

➤Similar-sounding words with different meanings: ensure/assure or transpired/perspired

➤Incorrect/inconsistent verb tense:•“after contacting the managers, our customer service staff have visited the store” SHOULD BE “after contacting . . . staff visited the store”•conditional “would / could” instead of simple past or future tense

➤ Dangling modifiers “as our valued customer, we look forward to . . .”; instead of “You are a valued customer, and we look forward to . . .”

➤ Misplaced modifiers “this was only implemented recently” instead of “this was implemented only recently”

➤ Also watch for misspellings (including typos) and major problems with commas.