Sharizan Borhan

Cover Story

Sharizan BorhanHaving a swinging

good time as a daddyText by Kua Kee Eng

Photograph by De One, Baby & Family ProfessionalPhotography

Makeup by Angeline Ng

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Sharizan Borhan started off as a singer 10years ago, and won the best New Artiste (Male)

Award at the prestigious Anugerah Industri Muzik(AIM) in 1997. Since then, there’s simply no turning back,

as opportunities started to pour in — hosting TV and radio(Red 104.9 & Lite FM) programmes, emceeing in corporate

events and has just recently released his latest album,Timeless, a compilation of melodious Jazz numbers.

On top of all these, he is also the father to three adorable children— Kayra Adriana Borhan, 9; Kayden Lee Borhan, 4; and Kaylin

Adriana Borhan, 2. Sharizan first became a father when he was atthe peak of his career. “At that time, I think I was exposed to lots of

children and I’ve always loved children. Yeah, it was at the peak of mycareer, but I thought it was a good time … and every child is a gift from

God, and I believe if God thinks you’re ready, then He’ll just give one toyou,” said Sharizan.

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The Balancing ActSharizan believes that having a dictate timetable serves as a balancing act between hiswork and family. “I’m always home for breakfast, lunch and dinner. When the kids are off toschool, that’s when I’ll go for my recordings,” said Sharizan. He usually starts work at 10 a.m.when his children are in school. “I’ll allocate about an hour and a half. Then, I’ll bring themhome from school, have lunch with them and make sure everything is okay. Then, my nextrecording usually starts at 2p.m. right up to about four or five in the evening.” Although Sharizanand his wife have a live-in maid cum nanny, they will never be away longer than an hour ortwo from their children, even if they have to attend urgent meetings or appointmentsoccasionally.

“The growing up years is just too wonderful for any parent to miss. If you miss it, you’ll neverget it back,” said Sharizan firmly. Sharizan and his wife have ventured into trading lately,and have moved their home-based office to a more spacious place nearby their house. “Inthe office, we’ve allocated a small space, set up especially for our kids, where they can bringin the toys and play there, as and when we need to bring them along, whenever we tend toget a little busier,” he explained.

Trial and Error“I would say that my eldest would be themost spoilt one among my three children.As our first child, naturally, we tend tospend more time with her; we’re alwaysthere 24/7 — the unconditional attention.Currently, Kayra is going through someadjustments,” said Sharizan. “Parentsare always paying 120 per cent ofattention to their first child, making thechild thinks that mummy and daddy willalways be there, and the child ends upto be very dependent, but children needto understand that parents also need tomake a living, they need to provide for thefamily.”

There are occasions whenSharizan and his wifecould not be there fortheir children, and theireldest would complain.“Comes the secondand third one, werealised our mistakes,and this time we don’tgive too much, but well-balanced attention,”expressed Sharizan witha triumphant smile.


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Being a Disciplinarian“My wife and I work together. One of us will play the role of being the passionate one, toensure there’s a place where they can get comfort, and the other will be the disciplinarian,”explained Sharizan. Surprisingly, the friendly and humorous Sharizan assumes the role of thedisciplinarian, instead of his wife. “It’s a lot of reasoning with them, we basically treat andtalk to them like an adult, we explain to them exactly why this and that isn’t right.” He wenton, “No point scolding them if they did something wrong. All you need to do is to take awaycertain privileges from them, especially things that they enjoy, for instance, watching TV.”

He also stressed that parents should take action immediately when theirchildren did something wrong, not an hour later, as children tend toforget what they’ve done. “We always lay down the ground rules,before implementing them,” asserted Sharizan, explaining that thechildren should, in the first place, be made known to the consequences

and punishment of their wrong doings.

“Rotan (cane) might be used as a threatening tool,but we don’t really use it. We normally hit the rotanagainst the wall, which eventually produces a loud

sound effect, to let them know it could be verypainful, and only on severe cases. Yet, we

seldom have to use it now, because wehave this thing called ‘the chair’!”

explained Sharizan. He said thatwhenever his children, especially

h is son, d id somethingwrong, the child would beordered to sit on ‘thechair’ which was placedat the centre of the livingroom, and never to get

up until he was told to doso. Sharizan or his wife will then

explain to him about his wrongdoings and make him realise his

mistakes. He claimed that this is amuch more effective method comparedto using the rotan or scolding.

Communication between husband andwife on the methods to discipline achild is very important, and Sharizanwould usually talk it out with his wifeand find an agreeable solution. Healso pointed out that losing temperand scolding children, especiallytoddlers, wouldn’t have a positiveeffect, as they are too young to


understand. He said, “All parents do that, but at the end of the day, if you look back, yourchildren won’t understand why they were being scolded. What they need is guidance fromyou and you’ll have to guide them. What people see in that child is basically the reflection ofyou — how you bring him up as a person. I do admit that I’m not perfect, but I’m still learning,”said Sharizan.

Look at the Positive SideSharizan used to take it out on cars when he was feeling stressful. And he used to eat a lotthen. However, as time goes by, going through different stages of lifehave altered his way of handling stress. “Nothing really stresses meout a lot nowadays, as they’re all manageable stress. You have tolearn how to push it away. I’ve come to the point that I’ll just chuckit aside and just cool off, and sometimes I’ll just talk it out,”Sharizan stated his resolve with a smile. “If you bottle up yourfeelings and worries, then, stress will eventually build up andwill affect your health and relationship with others. So just smile,look at the positive side of things, as there must be a reason whythings turned out the way they did.”

“Fatherhood is a wonderful journey,” said Sharizan. “There aredifferent stages in life — In your early 20s you’d love to partyand have fun, and in your 30s, you’d like to settle down,get married and naturally parenting comes into view.”He enjoys playing the role as a father and havingfun taking care of his children, for instance,bathing his younger children and tickling themafterwards. As his eldest daughter will be ateenager soon, he will need to address adifferent set of issues and modify his parentingapproaches.

When I asked him whether or not he’s planningto have a fourth child, Sharizan answered,“Having one child is nice, but eventually the childwill get lonely. So having two children is a nicepair, but when it comes to three, it’s alreadya handful. Hence, I think three is just theright number, and it’s manageable.” Thereason towards his resolution is that, heand his wife wish to give each of theirchildren equal and quality time as wellas attention. “Here we are, two parentswith three children, are we going toprovide each of them equal time andattention? Just imagine if we have four, five ormore children,” he concluded with a hearty laugh. PH


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Sharizan Borhan