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SHED NEWS The Newsletter of the Crows Supporters Group – January 2019 THOUGHT FOR THE MONTH Hope sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible 2019 WHAT WILL IT HOLD FOR US? by President, Peter Kauschke Well here we are again at the start of a new year. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year. Now it is time for us to look forward to supporting the Adelaide Football Club, both our women’s team and our two mens.teams. There has been a great deal of hard work being done by your committee behind the scenes to get things in order ready for season 2019 Many of you are wanting to ‘get into’ this season I am sure, and this will soon be possible with the kick-off of our AFL Women’s League at 8.10pm on Saturday 2nd February, against the Western Bulldogs at Norwood Oval. Hopefully our girls will receive the support they deserve during this season.. We are extremely proud to support our Crows Women's Football team and we hope you will all join in and support them and enjoy their footy. They have established themselves as a great team and they need our support for them to continue on their winning way. We urge all of you to support these girls... On behalf of your 2019 CSG Committee I would like to welcome all of you once more in supporting our teams for what we hope is going to be a fantastic year for footy in the Adelaide Football Club! Let’s get behind all three of our teams, the AWFL, the AFL and the SANFL and support them in any way possible. The programme for the Women’s team is elsewhere in this Shed News. EDITOR’S VIEW by Jenny Smart HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!! Here we go again, at the start of another new year. Last year was a strange year in our club with so many ups and downs. Let’s hope 2019 is a much better year both on and off the ground. There are several new faces on your Committee and we will all strive to make our Group even stronger in 2019. I am sure that whatever the season serves up, our teams can depend on the support of our fans, including the members of our Crows Supporters Group. Let’s all pull together to make it the best year possible for our women’s AFLW team, and men’s teams, both AFL and SANFL. As always #wewillflyasone! As I did this time last year, I point out that there is no “i” in team and I hope everyone can all work as a team and pull together to have a successful season. Once again, be loud and proud in your support for our boys. Hopefully I will continue to do the best I can to supply you with the news, photos and jokes you enjoy. Happy 2019! Good luck to us all.

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Page 1: SHED NEWS - crows.com.au€¦ · The Newsletter of the Crows Supporters Group ... I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year. Now it is time for us to look forward

SHED NEWS

The Newsletter of the Crows Supporters Group – January 2019

THOUGHT FOR THE MONTH – Hope sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible

2019 – WHAT WILL IT HOLD FOR US? by President, Peter Kauschke Well here we are again at the start of a new year. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year. Now it is time for us to look forward to supporting the Adelaide Football Club, both our women’s team and our two mens.teams. There has been a great deal of hard work being done by your committee behind the scenes to get things in order ready for season 2019 Many of you are wanting to ‘get into’ this season I am sure, and this will soon be possible with the

kick-off of our AFL Women’s League at 8.10pm on Saturday 2nd February, against the Western Bulldogs at Norwood Oval. Hopefully our girls will receive the support they deserve during this season.. We are extremely proud to support our Crows Women's Football team and we hope you will all join in and support them and enjoy their footy. They have established themselves as a great team and they need our support for them to continue on their winning way. We urge all of you to support these girls... On behalf of your 2019 CSG Committee – I would like to welcome all of you once more in supporting our teams for what we hope is going to be a fantastic year for footy in the Adelaide Football Club! Let’s get behind all three of our teams, the AWFL, the AFL and the SANFL and support them in any way possible. The programme for the Women’s team is elsewhere in this Shed News.

EDITOR’S VIEW by Jenny Smart

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!! Here we go again, at the start of another new year. Last year was a strange year in our club with so many ups and downs. Let’s hope 2019 is a much better year both on and off the ground. There are several new faces on your Committee and we will all strive to make our Group even stronger in 2019. I am sure that whatever the season serves up, our teams can depend on the support of our fans, including the members of our Crows Supporters Group. Let’s all pull together

to make it the best year possible for our women’s AFLW team, and men’s teams, both AFL and SANFL. As always #wewillflyasone! As I did this time last year, I point out that there is no “i” in team and I hope everyone can all work as a team and pull together to have a successful season. Once again, be loud and proud in your support for our boys. Hopefully I will continue to do the best I can to supply you with the news, photos and jokes you enjoy. Happy 2019! Good luck to us all.

Page 2: SHED NEWS - crows.com.au€¦ · The Newsletter of the Crows Supporters Group ... I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year. Now it is time for us to look forward

INTRODUCING YOUR COMMITTEE FOR 2019 EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE President Vice President Secretary Treasurer Public Officer/

Sponsorship

Peter Kauschke Tony Trist Julie Elliott Chris Pugliese Colleen McKaye MANAGEMENT COMMITTEE – The above plus these people named below Assistant Assistant Banner Match Day/Property Treasurer Secretary Coordinator Coordinator

Tina Kauschke Cathy Home Dylan Clark Megan Harris

Official Events/Fundraising SMagazine Photographer Coordinator Coordinator

Sue Retallick Donna Conserva Jenny Smart Our Melbourne based Coordinator

Feel free to approach any of us if you have concerns. Always remember it is better to hear it ‘straight from the horse’s mouth’ than to listen to gossip. HAVE A GREAT SEASON IN 2019!

Bob Heindenrich

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Chris Marshall

Phone 08 8295 7725

Email - [email protected]

www.cat-a-tomic.com

SECRETARY’S REPORT by Julie Elliott Crows Supporters Group Membership for season 2019 is now open and all members will be receiving a Membership application form shortly, either by regular mail or email. At the moment, you are unable to process payments via the website because this has been disabled as the new website is currently in need of some testing before it will go live. In the interim, you are welcome to send your membership form to me via email to: [email protected] and call: 0458 276 974 to process your payment over the phone via credit card also. Alternatively, we will have forms at the Adelaide Football Club Members Day on January the 22nd and can also process your payment on

the day, either by card or cash, or we are able to provide our bank details on request if required. I’m very happy to share that our membership pack items have been ordered and are on their way. The club has already given us our membership cards, so our membership packs will be ready early this year for posting/collection. Please note that we have been advised by the club that every member will need their membership cards this year to access the Cheer Squad Bay at both home and interstate games. In addition to your membership card, our Code of Conduct letter will be provided to every member, please take the time to read this important document. Once the season starts, Membership packs will also be available at Banner Nights, or after home matches in the Magarey Room. For members who have paid your CSG membership with your Adelaide Football Club Season tickets, we will also be sending forms to you to complete, as we need all your details to be entered into our membership database. Looking forward to a good year in 2019 … GO YOU CROWS!!!

VICE PRESIDENT’S REPORT by Tony Trist

Firstly, I take this opportunity to thank those members who voted for me at the Annual General Meeting in November. I am currently assisting with the reviewing of the Crows Supporters Group constitution and associated documents to bring them in line with the recent changes to the Association Act and making sure we are compliant. Also, I will be writing two new documents around Social Media, so the Executive Committee can inform our community about using social media to enable people to feel they can participate, while

being mindful of their responsibilities and obligations, as well as a Privacy Policy so that we comply with the principles set out in the Privacy Act.

2019 BUS TRIPS We will soon be taking orders for any of our members who are wanting to travel interstate on our cheer squad buses. For this season we will be sending a bus with two drivers to all Victorian matches as follows: Round 4 v North Melbourne, Saturday 13th April at Marvel Stadium, 7:25pm AEST Round 6 v St Kilda, Saturday 27th April at Marvel Stadium, 4:35pm AEST Round 15 v Geelong, Friday 28th June at GMHBA Stadium, 7:50pm AEST

Round 19 v Carlton, Saturday 27th July at MCG, 2:10pm AEST Round 23 v Western Bulldogs, at Mars Stadium, details TBA The bus price will be $125 for members and $130 for non-members. All trips will be an express for the Victorian matches.

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FUND RAISING AND EVENTS by Donna Conserva Hi everyone. My Name is Donna Conserva and I am the Events and Fundraising Co-coordinator for your Group. This year, if possible, I want to tailor the fundraising events to what members want to do to support our Club. I'm open to any suggestions that you would like to see and do. If you have any ideas that you think are appropriate for everyone and for our Club, please contact me

via email - [email protected] or on 0419819456 (Events phone) or SMS me thanks. Looking forward to a good 2019! Go Crows.

PRE-SEASON DINNER

at the Bartley Tavern, West Lakes

on Thursday 7th February at 7.00 pm

Please phone Donnna Conserva on 0419819456 by 31st January at the latest to book a place, as she needs to let The Bartley Tavern know numbers.

These nights are always a great deal of fun as well as a chance to enjoy a delicious meal at reasonable prices whilst catching up with Crows friends you haven’t seen for a while. If you haven’t been before why not come and join us. If you have been before then come on down and join us again.

Please do not forget to phone Donna as she needs to know numbers for booking.

BARBECUE AT THEBARTON

Several members of your committees served a barbecue to the

Crows SANFL top-up players on December 20th before they had

their Christmas break. These lads train separately from the Crows

players who are on the AFL list, coming from SA Amateur League

and country clubs around the state. They are great lads and so

grateful for all that is done for them. We wish them all the best in

2019 wherever they play their footy.

These are the lads Cathy and Peter Home supply soup to during the

winter months.

This was the first event organised by our new Events Coordinator. Well done Donna!!!!

JUNIOR MEMBERS’ BIRTHDAYS

Happy Birthday to these people having birthdays in January. Ava Cotvriend, Sophie Camac, Tyler Casey-Taverner, Samantha Lanyon, James Smythe, Sam Thurston, Ashlyn Graham, Oliver Smythe and Perrin Asel. Best wishes to all these young folk and to anyone else celebrating a birthday this month. HAPPY BIRTHDAY EVERYONE!

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WE STILL HAVE SOME OF OUR WONDERFUL CALENDARS!!! Our 2019 CSG calendars are still available for purchase for $12. They feature a full page for every month with exclusive, never before seen photos of players from our men’s and women’s teams, taken by our fantastic photographer Sue Retallick. Calendars can be ordered and posted to you. Please ring our secretary Julie on 0458276974 after 6pm weekdays or on weekends to order and she can process your credit card details. Additional postage costs will apply: one calendar $3, 2-3 calendars $5. 4 or more calendars please ask for prices as it depends on your location. We will also have them available for purchase at the Club’s Family Day at Adelaide Showgrounds on 22nd January.

FAMILY FUN AT CROWS FAN FAIR

Adelaide Members and fans will have the opportunity to meet their AFL and AFLW heroes at the Crows Fan Fair as part of the Club’s new-look 2019 season launch. Rounding out the school holidays, the free, family-friendly event will be held at a new location, the Adelaide Showgrounds, on Tuesday, January 22. Along with meeting the players, fans will be able to shoot some hoops with Erin and Sauce, get face painted by Tex and Chelsea or take on the Rorys in a game of laser tag. There will be plenty of other activities including goal kicking, rides, an animal farm, food trucks, Bird in Hand wines and Carlton and United Breweries beers available for purchase and much more. People of all ages are welcome as we look forward to kicking off 2019 season at this fun-filled event.

Date: Tuesday, 22 January 2019 Time: 5pm - 7pm Venue: Adelaide Showground Cost: Free Parking: Available at the Showgrounds at a $5 flat rate

Page 6: SHED NEWS - crows.com.au€¦ · The Newsletter of the Crows Supporters Group ... I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year. Now it is time for us to look forward

AFLW: OUR GIRLS’ 2019 fixture

The Crows will play at three different home grounds throughout the 2019 AFL Women’s season, with Unley Oval set to host its first AFLW game. Once again, our girls will play three home games in Adelaide, one at Unley and two at Norwood Oval, and one at TIO Stadium in Darwin, as part of the Club’s partnership with the Northern Territory. With the addition of two new teams, North Melbourne and Geelong, the AFLW will adopt a conference system for the 2019 season. To me, this is a little confusing, but I am sure we will get used to it. Melbourne, Western Bulldogs, Fremantle and North Melbourne join

Adelaide in conference A. Brisbane, Greater Western Sydney, Collingwood, Carlton and Geelong make up conference B. Our girls will kick off the season at home, taking on reigning premiers the Western Bulldogs, at Norwood Oval on Saturday, February 2 at 8.10pm CDT. They will play their first cross-conference match in Round Two when they travel to Ikon Park in Melbourne to take on Carlton on Sunday, February 10 at 4.05pm EDT. Norwood Oval will host again in Round Three when Adelaide plays its second cross-conference match against Geelong on Sunday, February 17 at 2.05pm CDT. The girls will return to their home away from home in Round Four to face the Dockers at TIO Stadium in Darwin on Saturday, February 23 at 8.05pm CST. In Round Five, Adelaide will travel to Avalon Airport Oval to take on newcomers North Melbourne at 4.05pm EDT on Sunday, March 3. For their third home game, the Crows will play on Unley Oval for the first time as they take on Greater Western Sydney on Sunday, March 10 at 1.35pm CDT. The final round of the season will see Adelaide face Melbourne at Casey Fields on Saturday, March 16 at 4.45pm WST. From there, the top two teams from each conference will face off in two preliminary finals on Saturday, March 23. The grand final will take place on either March 30 or 31, with date, venue and time still to be confirmed. AFLW will be played in every state and territory in 2019 across 19 different venues. All games will be free to attend.

BARBECUE FOR GIRLS AFTER TRAINING.

Members of The Committee served a barbecue to the Crows Women’s team

after their training last Friday evening. They so grateful for everything done for

them and we look forward to getting along to once again supporting them in their

games this season. They

really are a great group of

young women so please get

along and support them.

GO

CROWS!

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FIRST TIME TRIAL FOR 2019 AND SOME OF OUR NEW BOYS SHOW THE WAY

Ned McHenry has showcased his elite running capacity, finishing equal first with Wayne Milera Junior in Adelaide’s first 2km time trial for 2019. The eighteen-year-old made a mad dash to the finish line to secure a dead heat with Milera in his first official time trial as a Crow. Fellow first-round draftee, Chayce Jones, also impressed to finish third ahead of Jake Kelly, Rory Atkins and ruckman Reilly O’Brien. General Manager of High-Performance Matt Hass said he was exceptionally pleased with the results. “The majority of the players met their targets and it puts us in a wonderful position returning from the

Christmas period,” he said. “As first year players, it’s a great way for Ned and Chayce to start their careers and it puts them in the frame for playing AFL football early.” The time trial marked Adelaide’s first pre-season training session of 2019.

ADELAIDE’S NEW NUMBERS FOR 2019

17 – Tyson Stengle 20 – Chayce Jones 23 – Shane McAdam 25 – Ned McHenry 35 – Will Hamill 38 – Lachlan Sholl 41 – Jordon Butts 45 – Kieran Strachan

WELL, WELL, WELL. HOPE THIS IS NOT A JINX!

Port Adelaide premiership player Kane Cornes has declared his early premiership favourite going into the 2019 season. He thinks crosstown rivals Adelaide are set to return to their 2017 form. “I think they’re going to win it,” Cornes said of the Crows. “I think the Crows are going to win the premiership. I’m happy to say, a lot needs to go right, I’m not flippantly just saying that, but if I had to pick a team to win the flag right now, I’m tipping Adelaide. They couldn’t have had a worse year last year, but you look, and they won 12 games. They play 11 games at home, they’re going to win 10 of those. If they’re fit and they’re healthy, I say it through gritted teeth, but they’re going to be right up there.” I HOPE HE IS RIGHT! (FOR ONCE)

BRINGING THE FUN BACK

Richard Douglas has revealed the players have played a key role in bringing the fun back to Adelaide and declared the club can this year make the quantum leap from 12th to premiership contender. Richard said the “joy’’ had been brought back to the club and that it can quickly return to its minor premiership-winning form of 2017. “I truly believe that,’’ he said as Adelaide returned to pre-season training following a

three-week Christmas/New Year break. We still won 12 games last year but with the high expectations we had on ourselves it was really disappointing the way the year panned out. But the group’s now in a great head-space, which is really important, and physically we are as good as we have been. So, we are excited about the year ahead and see no reason why we can’t get right back up there.’’

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BITS AND PIECES HAPPY TIMES FOR OUR BOYS

TOM LYNCH MARRIED HIS LONG-TIME PARTNER COURTNEY BOYD IN MELBOURNE Tom Lynch tied the knot, exchanging vows with his long-time partner Courtney Boyd in Melbourne on 22nd December. Tom and Courtney have been together for nine years and have three children. They said “I do” at the Carousel Cafe by Albert Park Lake, in front of family and friends. Among the guests were Tom’s Crows teammates, including captain Taylor Walker, Rory Sloane, Eddie Betts, Sam Jacobs, Rory Laird, Josh Jenkins, Daniel Talia, Paul Seedsman, Brodie Smith and retired midfield star Scott Thompson. Congratulations to you both Tom and Courtney. We hope you have a long, healthy life with your lovely family. Tom turned his back on a potential move home to Victoria by signing a new three-year deal with our club in June, ensuring he will almost certainly finish his playing career in Adelaide.

JJ AND HANNAH EXCHANGE VOWS Josh Jenkins and Hannah Delmenico chose to exchange vows at Swan Hill on 28th December in front of family and friends and their little girl Lottie. Josh grew up in Swan Hill, so he returned there to tie the knot. Our fondest wishes go to Josh and Hannah for a happy life together with little Lottie

TAYLOR AND ELLIE ANNOUNCE THEIR ENGAGEMENT Our Captain Tex and his gorgeous partner Ellie Brown announced their engagement on Christmas Eve. We wish the young couple all the very best for a happy future together.

Page 9: SHED NEWS - crows.com.au€¦ · The Newsletter of the Crows Supporters Group ... I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year. Now it is time for us to look forward

HUGH GREENWOOD RETURNS TO BASKETBALL Our Hugh has played with, or against, almost every Australian currently in the National Basketball League (NBL) and now he’s commentating their games alongside legends of the sport. He is more than a fan at the Adelaide 36ers’ home games this season as he joins the team in the commentary box. Hugh has been one of the Crows’ biggest stories since switching to Aussie Rules football in 2015, but basketball will always be his first love. More than just a sport, it was something that bound him to his late mother, Andree. “I started playing basketball in Under-10’s… I told mum I’d only play if she coached me, so she did,” Greenwood said. “She went to the AIS like I did and won a WNBL championship with Hobart, so I was around

basketball from an early age. I debuted for the Boomers in 2010… mum got to represent Australia as a junior but never got to do it at senior level, so I was finally able to one-up her.” When Andree, affectionately known as 'Onny', sadly passed in October 2017, a host of NBL stars wore black armbands in her honour. For Hugh, commentating was a way for him to reconnect with the game and keep his dream of coaching basketball alive. “My long-term goal, once I’ve finished playing footy, is to get back into basketball… my dream is to coach college basketball in the States,” he said. “I felt like I needed to stay involved with basketball and stay up to date and unfortunately I can’t play anymore so this opportunity was just too good to turn down. Football may be Hugh’s priority now but having the opportunity to be involved with basketball again is something he’s hoped for since he switched to footy three years ago. “Obviously I left the NBL in an unfortunate way when I broke my contract with Perth to come and play footy, so it means a lot to me for the League to give me this opportunity to be involved again,” he said. “I shut off from basketball for a while and sort of fell out of love with it, so to be back in some way, I just can’t thank the NBL enough. It was my first love and something I still really enjoy so just to be around basketball again and talking basketball again is so rewarding.” Still new to commentating, Hugh said the profession was more of an ‘art form’ than he’d first expected. “It’s challenging but I’ve had to back my knowledge in. I know enough about the game, but there’s a difference between talking on your couch versus commentating for television,” he said. “I went to Sydney for media training… it was for all the things you don’t think about like looking at the camera, body language and the way you talk and deliver words." Hugh isn’t the only Crow making regular appearances at the 36ers’ home games this season. “Eddie’s always there. For my first game, at half-time, he came over, put a headset on and tried to chip in,” he said. “Lachie Murphy, Myles [Poholke] and Elliott [Himmelberg] are often there too.” Hugh has played with a number of the current 36ers playing, including Nathan Sobey, and former captain Mitch Creek. “Jacob Wiley, Nathan Sobey – these guys are amazing athletes. I love commentating them and I haven’t seen Andrew Bogut play in person yet so I’m really looking forward to seeing him," he said. “I’m just excited to be back around basketball again.”

Ed: It’s okay to be back involved with basketball Hugh, but we enjoy watching you play footy and hope you are out there with the Crows for quite a few years yet.

WHAT OUR BOYS GET UP TO WHEN LET OFF THE LEASH

Rory Sloane surfing Eddie at the Great Australian Bight Riley Knight in full The Gibbs family

Christmas regalia

Page 10: SHED NEWS - crows.com.au€¦ · The Newsletter of the Crows Supporters Group ... I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year. Now it is time for us to look forward

A New Year treat – TWO pages of jokes!

CROW COMEDY

AUSSIE HUMOUR An Aussie phones for an ambulance because his mate’s just been hit by a car. Aussie: “Get an ambulance here quickly. My mate’s bleeding from his nose and his ears and I think both his legs are broken.” Operator: “What is your location Sir?” Aussie: “On Eucalyptus Street.” Operator: Can you please spell that.” Silence (heavy breathing) and after a minute… Operator: “Are you there sir?” More heavy breathing and another minute later…. Operator: “Sir can you hear me?” More heavy breathing……. Operator: “Sir please answer me. Can you still hear me?” Aussie: “Yeah sorry. I couldn’t spell eucalyptus so I dragged him around to Oak Street.”

CLOTHES TO DONATE Wife: I have a bag full of used clothing I’d like to donate. Husband: Why not just throw it in the trash? That’s much easier. Wife: But there are poor starving people who can really use all these clothes. Husband: Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving. The husband is recovering from a head injury at this moment.

LUCKY NEIGHBOURS! A chap was feeling so bored that he was thinking about running around the house naked. However, he drank a bottle of Windex and it stopped him from streaking.

NEEDS A PUSH - (Not sure If I have used this one before but I love it anyway.) 😊

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. "Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed. "Who was that?" asked his wife.. "Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers. "Did you help him?" she asks. "No, I did not, it's 3 am in the morning and it's bloomin' well pouring with rain out there!" "Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself! God loves drunk people too you know." The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain. He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?" "Yes," comes back the answer. "Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband. "Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark. "Where are you?" asks the husband. "Over here on the swing," replied the drunk.

IRISHMAN’S DOGS Mick was visiting Paddy, who had just bought two new dogs. He asked him what their names were. Paddy says, “One’s called Rolex and the other one’s called Timex.” “Whoever gives dogs names like that,” said Mick. ‘HELLO’ says Paddy. “They’re watch dogs.”

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WHITE HAIR Five-year-old daughter: “Mummy why is some of your hair white?” Mother: (smiles) “Every time you make me sad, another hair turns white.” Daughter: (wide eyed) “Wow Mummy, what did you do to Grandma?”

RELOCATING A man who made coffins was about to do a delivery one day when his vehicle broke down. He didn’t want to be late with his order, so he decided to put the coffin on his head and walk. A policeman saw him and asked what he was doing and where he was going as he thought it was extremely strange. The man turned to the policeman and said, “I don’t like where I was buried so I am relocating.” The policeman fainted.

THE PUNISHMENT

Waking up to such a beautiful day is too much of a blessing to waste! Father Patrick calls Father Michael, and in a raspy voice, says, ‘Father Michael, I’ve woken up feeling very, very unwell. Can you please lead the service this morning in my absence?’. Father Michael agrees and wishes Father Patrick a speedy recovery. With everything sorted, Father Patrick puts on his golfing gear, packs the clubs and sets out to a course an hour away from his home, so he won't be spotted by anyone he knows. All is going well for father Patrick, who has played a great game up until the 16th hole, a Par 3. St Peter and God are watching from above, and St Peter turns to God and says, Are you going to allow Father Patrick to continue such a good game when he has lied and deceived to avoid going to church, all just to play golf? Should you not punish him?’. God says to St Peter, ‘Yes, you are right but watch this…’ Father Patrick places his golf ball on the tee, takes up his stance and swings the club. It’s a perfect shot! The little white ball sails through the air. It curves around the dogleg and bounces just before the green, rolling into the hole for a hole in one! Father Patrick cannot believe it – he jumps for joy, throws his cap in the air and dances a jig. St Peter, completely gob smacked at this point, turns to God and says ‘Giving him a hole in one - tell me, - how exactly is that punishing him?’ God replies, ‘Well, who is he going to tell?’

IRISH CHRISTENING Paddy's pregnant sister was in a terrible car accident and went into a deep coma. After nearly six months, she woke up and saw that she was no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asked the doctor about her baby. The doctor replied, “You had twins, a boy and a girl. The babies are fine. However, they were poorly at birth and had to be christened immediately, so your brother Paddy came in and named them.” The woman thought to herself, “Oh suffering Lordy, no, not me brother. He’s a clueless idiot.” Expecting the worst, she asked the doctor, “Well, what’s my daughter's name?” “Denise,” said the doctor. The new mother was somewhat relieved and thought to herself, “Wow, that's a really beautiful name. I guess I was wrong about my brother, I really like Denise.” Then she asked, “What's the boy's name?” The doctor replied, “Denephew.”

EXCHANGE?

A young Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by

two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, "What is this Father?"

The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don’t

know what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, an old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving

walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed,

and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch

until it reached the last number, and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally, the walls opened up

again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blonde stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son... "Go get your mother."

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KIDS CORNER Back to School

Sorry to remind you about this kids, but find and circle all of the School related words that are hidden in the

grid.

ASSIGNMENTS

BACKPACK

BATHROOM

BELL

BINDER

CAFETERIA

CHALKBOARD

CLASSROOM

CLOCK

COURSES

DESK

DOORS

ENROL

ERASER

EXAMS

FIRST DAY

GYMNASIUM

HALLWAY

HOMEWORK

INTERCOM

JANITOR

LANGUAGE ARTS

LEARNING

LIBRARY

LOCKER

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Our grateful thanks go to the Adelaide Football Club for allowing us to use information and photos from the club site. Also special thanks to our photographer Sue Retallick for her wonderful photos.

CROWS SUPPORTERS GROUP – SUPPORTING THE AFC