Page 1

SED’S RIDE TO

GIDGEGAUP

(WITHOUT SED!)

Story page 8

Volume 17 Issue 9

September 2017

Sound Rides

"WE care about YOU" ACECopiers proudly sponsoring this newsletter

PAUL CHILLIN’ ON KEITH’S NOT BALLINGUP RIDE

Story page 6.

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PRESIDENTS PRATTLE

Hi Everyone, Dianna & I had an amazing time in the USA. We saw some great sights and travelled some great roads with stunning scenery. A huge thankyou to Julie for looking after things while we were away. There were quite a few enquiries from potential members, & a few questions from Freo branch about the Memorial ride. Also as you saw Julie sent out the waffle each week to keep everyone informed. Dianna & I have spent many hours on previous holidays trying to send the waffle out due to WIFI, and service provider problems, so it was wonderful to have Julie taking care of that for us. We have the ride Calendar meeting tonight, & it would be great to see some new ride leaders, & some of the old ones we haven’t seen for a while returning. If you need any help coordinating a ride just ask. The Committee would love to help you. Hope to see you on a ride soon.

Chris

MONEY MATTERS $$$ Hi All,

Opening balance was $8417.74. Closing balance is $8282.80

It will be good when the Triathlons start again so our balance will grow a bit. The first one for this season is on the 8th Oct. and 4 riders are needed. These help to subsidise the Christmas party and pay for branch funded events. There aren’t a lot of branches out there as lucky as ours. Cheers Dianna

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WARNBRO BRANCH GEARSHOP ITEMS.

If anyone wants some gear and can’t get to the meeting, if you talk nicely to me, I can bring it to Pengos

on a Wednesday . If anyone would like to help me sell the gear, please see me at the meeting or Pengos.

It is an easy job, and it will help the branch & our members.

See Quartermaster Ken at the meeting.

BRMSTIK BABBLE!

Secretary Report September, 2017

Congratulations to all the “Fathers” out there for, I certainly celebrated with my “dear ol’ Dad” but I hope those who went on the ride all had a great time too. The weather would have been perfect, if not a little chilly, but it won’t be much longer and we will be wanting that breeze. The Memorial ride has also been attended for another year with Fremantle organising the day, another job well done. So we have another month of fun and frivolity planned especially with the Collie Odyssey so I hope to see you out and about. Thanks everyone who is leading a ride on this quarter calendar, keep ‘em coming!

Always take care, be aware and be kind to each other.

Cheers,

Julie Wilcox #35151

Aerial Flag $15 (Double sided)

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EVERYBODY LOOK TO THE LEFT EVERYBODY LOOK TO THE RIGHT

WE JUST WANT TO MAKE THE WORLD DANCE

SERPENTINE CAFÉ ON THE DAM

ANOTHER GREAT TURNOUT.

IT’S HARD TO BELIEVE IT’S THE

MIDDLE OF WINTER

GOOD FOOD,GOOD COFFEE,

GOOD FRIENDS

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A FACE ONLY A MOTHER COULD LOVE

KARRAGULLEN RUN 21 August 2017

I requested a fine day for the run and we received a cool but fine overcast morning and 9

bikes turned up with a total of 12 riders. While we did not have quantity of riders we had

quality. We headed to Jarrahdale via Serpentine Dam and on arrival we found Alan and

Sheila already there and Keith and Jo turned up shortly after. Jo was looking a bit sick but

still her cheerful self.

Half of the riders returned home from Jarrahdale and 9 of us carried on, when we arrived

at Paddy’s Bush Bar we were given the VIP treatment with a reserved table in the enclosed

beer garden with a pot belly stove one end and a portable gas heater at the other, they had

also supplied a one man band with pleasant music which Werner gave a favourable rating

to. There was a good selection of food which we sampled a variety of. We felt sorry for Jo,

by the time she reached our destination she had become ill ( apparently she caught gasto

in Narrogin ) and spent quite some time yelling into the bottom of the cutlery bucket ( we

felt for you Jo ).

After we had enjoyed the food and the music someone made the move and most followed

and left Keith to manage getting Jo home when he could.

Later in the arvo Glen rang Jo who advised she was feeling a bit better after a good rest.

Thanks to the rider support.

Jim

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The not Ballingup Ride

It was a cool morning leaving home

at 7am to get to the start of my ride

to Balingup (which didn’t actually go

to there). After a short discussion

with my fellow riders, who also

thought that $20 entry into the

Medieval Festival was a bit steep,

we agreed, more or less, that Pinjar-

ra Bakery and then Quinny Pub would be a good alternative. I consulted Sedley for final senior approval, and

once confirmed (when he actually took his ear plugs out to hear me), we were off. The day was unusually

sunny and warmish. We had two new prospective Ulyssians join us for this ride, Evan & Christina, both Kiwi’s

but lovely & intelligent people (no I’m not racist).

After a good start to Pinjarra Bakery down the usual back roads we had a fairly lengthy stop as the

conversations & good cheer seemed to reflect the warm spring day. But some wally found an “L” plate on

the ground and put it on my bike. Obviously a fluoro vest wasn’t enough for some people to realize I was the

“L”eader of this ride (ps. It scratched my paint).

So we get to Quinny pub with a bunch of giggling funny f@*%ers

in tow, (I have your names, I will find you and I will kill you). The

food at Quinny Pub was again very good and everyone was in

great spirits, well everyone who had enough fuel to get to Quinny

Pub (say no more).

A few of us made a coffee stop at Dwellingup on the way home

from a very enjoyable sunny Sunday ride with a wonderful group

of bastards.

PS. I would just like to acknowledge the calls, messages etc. that I

received from my Ulyssian “family” in regards to my mother pass-

ing away. Thank you all for your kind thoughts during a difficult time

for me. I greatly appreciate it and thank all of these Ulyssians who

help make my life richer.

Keith W

Pinjarra Morning Tea

I love the smell of Canola in the afternoon!

Nanga Brook rd. tunnel

Quindanning

Happy

50th Haydn

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DIRTY GRANDPA MOVIE NIGHT

Derek and Julie’s Soup Kitchen: We were expecting a cold wet night but actually it was warmer than expected but we still set up inside for 13 WSW. 6 delicious soups; Minestrone, Seafood Chowder, Chicken and Vegie, Pumpkin, Broccoli and Stilton, Barley and Ham, along with a variety of crusty loaves. Whilst everyone took their first serve Derek wast talking with his hands and threw his soup over the kitchen floor, fantastic, now I had to mop the mess up… just what I didn’t need to do with a kitchen full of people. Some were happy to try all the different ones and others stayed with what they like best, the bread was popular mopping up the last bit in our bowls. Drinks were being poured and laughter rang through my home loud and clear, it’s such a joyous sound. 7 yummy desserts were laid out for us all and for those that were skippers, had a hot cuppa or 2. The merri-ment continued as the port was poured for a nightcap and before too long another great evening came to a close. Thanks to those who came with their tasty delights and made the evening so enjoyable. Cheers!!!

WING BO CHINESE

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MUDDY CORNER MARKING

BEVERLY COUNTRY KITCHEN

SOKI & LOVING IT!

Tips & techniques for motorcycle riders

Helmets & protective gear

The correct protective clothing reduces the severity of injuries sustained in a crash, and appropriately coloured clothing will help other road users see you.

Helmets Your helmet should fit you properly and offer protection that complies with the Australian Helmet standards. Try the helmet on for size before you buy it and don’t purchase online unless you are sure it will fit correctly. Light coloured helmets are more visible to other vehicles day and night. Do not buy a second-hand helmet, as you don’t know how it has been treated, if it has been involved in a crash or if there is any damage (e.g. UV degradation). Helmets must be replaced if you are involved in a crash or it has been dropped. Don’t lend your helmet to other riders because the fit to your head may be affected.

Protective gear Jackets - Choose a jacket with built-in shoulder, elbow and back protection that is abrasion-resistant. Jackets are available in either leather or non-leather materials. Eye Protection – Use the visor on your helmet to protect your eyes when riding. If you have an open-faced helmet, ensure you wear quality glasses. Gloves – Choose a pair of gloves that fit securely but comfortably, are reinforced and padded and allow you to improve your grip on the handle bars. Boots – Your boots should offer protection to your feet, ankle and lower legs. Use boots that are light but also secure and reinforced for the best protection. Pants – Choose pants that have built-in reinforcement and are comfortable when you are in the riding position.

High visibility As motorcycle riders are more vulnerable to death and injury than the drivers of cars and heavy vehicles, motorcycle riders need to be highly visible to all road users. The best way to be visible is to contrast with the environment in which you are riding. Wear fluorescent or high vis clothing and a light or white coloured helmet while riding in built-up areas with dense traffic. Darker clothing and helmets can be used when cruising in open spaces with ambient light. At night, highly reflective clothing should be worn by riders. The Motorcycle Riders Association of Western Australia has published the Make Yourself Visible booklet.

Choose the right motorcycle. Talk to experienced riders, chat to knowledgeable staff in showrooms and check out as many websites as you can before choose something that could prove to be unsuitable. Think about what sort of motorcycle you want and what would best suit your needs, whether it’s for touring at weekends, everyday commuting, trips to the beach or a sports model. Be realistic about your size, weight, and strength – these are important considerations, as you will need to be able to manoeuvre quickly, efficiently, and confidently. If upgrading to a more powerful bike after gaining your ‘R’ licence, take time to practise , as the handling is very different from smaller motorcycles. from: www.rsc.wa.gov.au/Education-Programs/Safety-Topics/Motorcyclists#sharing

Jacket & helmet—Yep all safe. May need

a hand to do the jacket up though

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COLLIE VIA HARVEY

Taffy (Foster) had a little bingle up Bickley way last week, and broke his collar bone. Keith & Jo drove up to Bickley, & Keith rode the bike back to Taff’s house. Thanks Keith & Jo, and a thanks from Taffy below. Hope your recovery is swift Taffy, so Sue doesn’t have to put up with your moping around at home. Chris.

Hi Chris , what can I say but thanks a lot for the very quick response I got from our club members Keith and Jo in particular, all in all the event turned out a learning curve for me and a reminder of how great our club is in time of need, dam shame I can not share the pain but quite happy to endure cheers Taffy

A thankyou from Ro: Warnbro Sound Wanderers: Your kindness, love and sympathy extended to me was very much appreciated. Thank you everyone, the flowers were beautiful and lasted such a long time. Thank you to all those who called, sent beautiful cards and all who attended the “celebration of Bob’s life”. Bob would have been humbled by all of your kindness. Ro Piecuch.

Sounds like everyone had a great time : Tony Saunders Was bloody cold, but was good fun, all the same. Carole Thackham What a top ride , 300 miles of the most beautiful roads , frozen to the bone but worth it xxx Keith Wellfare We whittled down to the magnificent 7, twas great thanks Wayne... Wayne Britton I had a fantastic day with my friends. Trip meter showed 458km. Awesome Dave Humphrey Yes I'm with you all. Great ride not much traffic on the roads. Open the throttle and Go GO Go? Yeah was a bit on the chilly side had to put the heater on when I got home to thaw out not used to the cold English type weather but at least it didn't rain. when's the next one Wayne?

Happy riders

A bit chilly

Page 10

The new Harley

The comfy Goldwing

Amazing art

Not for pursuits

Hollywood Bvd.

Hollywood Hills

Please take

mask off &

unload gun

before entering

Page 11

Quite a few people have asked us “What was the best part of

your trip to the USA?” It is so hard to pick a “best bit”. We saw

and did so much in 3 short weeks. We arrived in LA after 22 hours

travel time, so were pretty exhausted by the time we arrived at

the hotel. We dropped our bags and grabbed a cab to Eagle Rider

to pick up our bike. Unfortunately the Goldwing I ordered was

not available so they asked us if we would be happy with a brand

new Harley (you have to pay $20 per day to be guaranteed of a particular bike). I told the manager I’d really

prefer a Goldwing and luckily he had one coming back from a tour that afternoon. We spent the rest of the

afternoon cruising around the local area on the Harley. I don’t want to put shit on Harley’s (we already have

enough members that do that) but I found it definitely did not suit my riding style. I found it heavy to lift off

the stand with a pillion on, there was a real clunk when you changed fear which you could feel in the clutch

lever, it felt unstable at slow speeds (in the LA suburbs every intersection that doesn’t have traffic lights has a

stop sign on it so it is constant stop start). Not being used to footboards, I found them lifting up when I put my

feet up and my heel inevitably ended up on the exhaust leaving my melted shoe on it. I was very relieved to

pick up the Goldwing that afternoon.

We spent the next couple of days in LA cruising along the beached and through Hollywood and Beverley Hills.

Venice Beach was amazing, packed with the iconic things that California is famous for. Street art, skateboard-

ers, body builders and a passing stream of people meant that there was always something to look at.

The hills above Hollywood were packed with mansions perched above each other on the side of the steep

hills. Beverley Hills was equally as impressive with most of the homes gardens being tended by workers from

south of the border. In sharp contrast, a few streets away, there were small communities of homeless people

sheltering under the overpasses. We enjoyed our time in LA and found the people very friendly and courteous

on the roads, often moving over to allow the Goldwing space to ride between the cars.

Our next destination was Las Vegas and it was good to get out on the 5 lane concrete highway and away from

the city traffic. The speed limit was 70mph with most travellers sitting about 10mph over this. We saw very

few police on the road. They were mainly parked at roadworks or in the small towns off the highway. The food

and fuel stops were off the highway in these small towns and they relied on these to survive. The desert

mountains were spectacular to see —absolutely huge and go on for ever, only outdone by large solar power

generators, rising like huge birthday

candles from the Mojave Desert floor. It

was also very hot and when we made a

comment about it to the girl at the fuel

stop she said “Oh it’s only 109, it usually

gets to around 120 round here!!”

C & D

Next issue — Viva Las Vegas.

Page 12

Homeless Community What to do when your pool leaks

Walmart rolls back the price

on shotgun shells

A train full of tanks – headed to Nth Korea??

Page 13

VW Trike 1600cc Reconditioned motor 27,916k's New brakes and tyres all round

LED rear lights Automatic gearbox and leading link

front end Long range fuel tank Licensed to 2018 and allowed to

carry 4 people $16,000 negotiable

Phone 0402 955 399 Derek and Julie Wilcox

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Attention all pullers:

Hi , a friend of ours has manufactured a tent peg puller. He can make them in stainless steel or mild steel as per the attachment. If anyone would like one it can be picked up at either Rockingham or North up Kinross way after arranging with the manufacturer Brendon.

Regards

Jim.

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JIMS JOKES

MURPHY’S LAWS: Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!! Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about. Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly. Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling it! Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there, you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

THE BOSS’S OFFICE All the members of the company's Board of Directors were called into the Chairman's office, one after another, until only Ted, the junior member, was left sitting outside. Finally it was his turn to be summoned. Ted entered the office to find the Chairman and the other four Directors seated at the far end of the boardroom table. Ted was instructed to stand at the other end of the table, which he did. The Chairman looked Ted squarely in the eye, and with a stern voice, he asked, "Have you ever had sex with my secretary, Miss Foyt?" "Oh, no, sir, positively not!" Ted replied. "Are you absolutely sure?" asked the chairman. "Honest, I've never been close enough to even touch her!" "You'd swear to that?" "Yes, I swear I've never had sex with Miss Foyt, anytime, anywhere,” insisted Ted. "Good. Then you fire her."

A SENIOR'S PERSPECTIVE

OF FACEBOOK.

For those of my generation who do not, and cannot, comprehend why Facebook exists: I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles. Therefore, every day I walk down the street and tell passers-by what I have eaten, how I feel at the moment, what I have done the night before, what I will do later and with whom; I give them pictures of my family, my dog, and of me gardening, taking things apart in the garage, watering the lawn, standing in front of landmarks, driving around town, having lunch, and doing what anybody and everybody does every day. I also listen to their conversations, give them the "thumbs up" and tell them I like them. And it works just like Facebook. I already have four people following me: two police officers, a private investigator, and a psychiatrist.

Page 16

JIMS JOKES

Let's offend everyone!

I came out of the chip shop with a meat/potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sitting there said, “I've not eaten for two days.” I told him, “I wish I had your will power!”

I took my biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "young blacks" and "junkies" were not the correct answers.

A fat girl took a while to serve me in McDonald's at lunch time today. She said, “Sorry about the wait.” I said, “Don't worry, dear. You might lose it eventually.”

I walked past a black kid sitting at a bus stop, as I went into the bank. When I came out, he looked at me and said, “Any change?” I said, “No, you're still black.”

An Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man asks him, “What's wrong?” The boy says, “Me ma is dead.” “Oh bejaysus," the man says. “Do you want me to call Father O'Riley for you?” The boy replies, “No tanks mister. Sex is the last ting on me mind at the moment.”

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such an immensely fast shutter-speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth shut.

I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or a bus and think to yourself, "I'm gonna take that!"

Man in a hot air balloon is lost over Ireland . He looks down and sees a farmer in the fields and shouts down to him, “Where am I ?” The Irish farmer looks back up and shouts back, "You can't fool me. You're in that basket up there."

I had a Trivia Competition in the bag until the very last question - which I got wrong. The question was: "Where do women have the curliest hair ?" Apparently the correct answer is Fiji .

Best Decorated Septic Tank Truck Ever...

Page 17

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Page 18

WARNBRO SOUND WANDERERS: President Chris Glover 0419 - 919 275 compland@dodo.com.au

Secretary Julie Wilcox 0402 - 955 399 wilcox50@iinet.net.au

Treasurer Dianna Glover 0419 - 919 275 compland@dodo.com.au

Committee Members Derek Wilcox 9593 1905 Keith Wellfare 0411 - 489 061 Alan Potter 0438 - 657 796 Jim Mackie 0409 -116883 Pauline Marwick

Ride Coordinators Derek Wilcox 9593 1905 wilcox50@iinet.net.au Chris Glover 0419 - 919 275

Quarter Masters Ken Donaldson 0427 - 409 261 Brian Weir

Webmaster Chris Cooper 0477 - 588 007 t.rox.59@live.com.au

Welfare Officer Glen Mackie 0409 - 116 883 jimbomac5@gmail.com

Sound Rides - Editor Chris Glover

W.A. BRANCHES:

Armadale Heritage Meet first Thursday each month. 8:00pm Narrogin Inne, Armadale armadaleheritage@ulysses.org.au

Broome West Kimberly broomewestkimbeley @ulysses.org.au

Bunbury Meet first Wednesday each month. 7:00pm Highway Hotel, Bunbury bunbury@ulysses.org.au

Esperance esperance@ulysses.org.au

Fremantle Meet 2nd Thursday each month 8:00pm Swan Yacht Club, Fremantle fremantle@ulysses.org.au

Geraldton Meet first Wednesday each month. 7:30pm Camel Bar, Geraldton geraldton@ulysses.org.au

Great Southern greatsouthern@ulysses.org.au 0459138806

Joondalup Meet 2nd Tuesday each month. 8:00pm Glengarry Tavern, Warwick joondalup@ulysses.org.au

Kalgoorlie Meet 2nd Saturday each month 6:00pm Kalgoorlie Club, Egan St kalgoorlie@ulysses.org.au

Mandurah Murray mandurah@ulysses.org.au

Perth Meet last Wednesday each month. 8pm Carlisle Hotel perth@ulysses.org.au

Pilbara pilbara@ulysses.org.au

Warnbro Sound Wanderers Meet 2nd Tuesday each month. 8:00pm Indigo Bar @ Leisure Inn Chalgrove Ave/ Read St. R’ham.

warnbrosoundwanderers @ulysses.org.au