LifestyleFaith Trapped in SuicideDesperation...Not Forever

Toys: Good for...All Ages

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Lifestyle

Crystal WackerChristina Williams

Jodi-Kay EllisMona Ré Shields

Karen GrantPat Gonzalez

Olga “Nena” PodburyJeanette Rivera Crystal WackerDiana Faruqui

Editor-in-Chief ..........................Writing Editor .......................Spanish Translation ....................Spanish Editor .......................Contributing Authors .....................

Graphic Artist ..............................

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FaithTrapped in Suicide ...................................Desperation...Not Forever ......................I Am What I Think! I Do What I Think! ....

LifestyleToys: Good for All Ages ...........................Ask Pat ...................................................

www.reachupmag.com

T his issue of Reach UP magazine mixes some tough topics -- suicide, feelings of desperation,

being stuck in a rut of bad decisions -- with the subject of play. At first glance, it might seem that

these subjects should not go together. Yet, I think they can and should.The awesome thing about God is that He understands how deeply you hurt. He sees your tears and

hears your cries. Believe me, it’s during these times that we begin to understand what His names

“Deliverer” and “Comforter” really mean. But I also know that it’s important to understand that after you’ve talked about your issues and after

you’ve cried and worked on them, there comes a time when you need to use the “emotional remote

control” and change channels for a time. Enjoyment of life is just as important to your outlook as

confronting the things that hurt. God is FOR you and wants the BEST for you in ALL things.It’s my hope that all of these articles will help you move toward healing. God wants you to be whole

and healed of the hurts of your past.

My prayers are with you -- keep ‘Reaching UP,’Crystal WackerEditor-in-Chief

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1 Reach UP

Trapped in suicideHere I am all alone wondering who’s going to lend a hand

I’ve had this thought many times ending it, is where I stand

No more hurt, no more pain, life will never be the same

My surroundings are dark with no compassionBut I keep holding on to evil’s passion

A hand I don’t see

But it temporarily releases me

I sought the hand of the dealer; the fix was quick just not fast enough

It only made a dark empty room seem filled with imaginary stuff

But great here comes another hand only this time, it aggressively slaps my face“Must do what you’re told” he said “or find a way to compensate”

So now the street corner is my place as the passerby watches me in disgrace

“A hand!” I scream as I quickly make my way to the poleThe only thing that I can hold

Yes! I see hands, the hands of professional men,

Who only want me for their pleasurable transaction

I can never tell them what my purpose is,

They wouldn’t understand plus this is only business

There’s a church up the block they can lend a handThey once gave me a card telling about a Man

Whose hands were nailed to a cross for the lost

Doors are open every Sunday

The ladies are all dressed quite nicely,

Married couples look very happy,

But, where do I fit in? When all that’s seen is my imperfection

Now I know I am in the hands of darkness and confusion.

As I search for my escape thinking of my way out, I take the gun out of its pouch

While on my knees feeling displeased wondering what’s out there for me

I scream out in distress thinking I’m ready for the consequence

I mumble “I just need to end it now”, but instead the gun jams and I pass out

A vision appears:Why is that Hand extended in my direction?

It has holes in it as if it has been through my affliction

These Hands picked me up and carry me softly

These Hands stroke me very carefully while opening doors to set me freeI now know these Hands for it’s the Hands of the Almighty and will always be there to guide me.

See my lifestyle only degraded me, and the church couldn’t save me

But it introduced me to a new substance.A permanent relationship with the One, that brought me my deliverance.

By Karen Grant

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3 Reach UP

Y ou have heard the saying, “Desperate times call for des-perate measures.” All people, even Christians, experience desperate times. It’s how we deal with those times that are important.

Growing up living in N.Y.C. wasn’t the best, but my parents managed to make the most of it. Gangs, sex, and drugs were everywhere on the streets of Brooklyn, New York.

It was only a matter of time before I was exposed to the worst of the worst. My parents did every-thing they could to pro-tect me from the street life, but somehow it all caught up to me.

I started drinking at a young age, then smo-king marijuana at thirteen. At the time, it seemed my life was headed down a path for the worst. Depression set in at a young age because I felt alone all the time. I would lie and get my way and do as I pleased in the street.

On June 6, 1996, my world came crashing down. I was fifteen when I was taken advantage of sexually by someone I trusted the most. I kept asking myself, “How can someone so close to me hurt me in a way that is so perverse? My very own

cousin.” I put my trust in him, and he stole every bit of it. I battled pain, hurt, anxiety, fear, tears, sores, and open wounds; that was how I saw myself.

I stood alone at a very young age, desperate for an answer to heal my wounds. I went after everything and everyone except God for help. Alone and fearful, I didn’t know who to turn to and what to do. I wanted to die! What was I going to live for? I would picture myself j us t drink- ing and taking every pill my mother stored in the medicine cabinets just so that I could fall asleep and never wake up. In a way, I hoped there was a big sign across my forehead screaming out for HELP. But, who was going to believe me? So I held it all in.

I know now there are many others who have faced what I did. Help came my way when a very good friend told my mother about a group home just for girls called Mercy

Ministries. This is where I met trust, love, and hope. And most important, I met Christ! It is through Him that I am healed today of all my past hurt.

To you who cry in desperation for answers and a way out, God is listening. Help is on the way! Thirteen years later I can speak out and help many young women across the world and tell them about God’s love. While everyone thought I was never going to amount to any-thing, God had a plan. My husband and I are the founders of a nonprofit organization helping the inner-city community. And we are the pastors for On the E.D.G.E. ministries.

In the ministry and through the organization that my husband and I founded, we have helped many women in desperate situations. We have given these women simple scriptures to meditate on, so when they see themselves as hopeless, they can know there is hope at the end. There is such a thing as love and hope. Lift your face from the ground and look toward the heav-ens. Here are verses that you can read over and over. Believe the truth of them, not the lies that come out of your pain.

(See next page for Bible verses...)

By J

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Prayer: Father, I’m putting my life in Your hands.

Help me to understand that when it’s so hard, You are

right there beside me. I need to feel Your love cover me

and hold me in my hard times. Let Your light of truth

shine on me. Help me to trust more in You and less in

this world. Give me the strength to go on daily. There is

no problem too big for You! Cover me with Your blood. I

rebuke this moment any tactics the enemy has planned

for me; I break them in Jesus name. Amen

Jeanette Rivera is originally from Brook-lyn, NY, and now resides in Columbus, Georgia. Jeanette is married to Guillermo and is the happy mother of four children. She and her husband are the founders of On the E.D.G.E. Inc, an organization that helps inner-city children who are just like she was as a child. They eagerly teach what the love of Christ has done for them.

Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you.

He will not leave you nor forsake you. Deuteronomy 31:6

We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We don’t know what to do, but not driven to despair. In times of trouble, God is with us.

We get knocked down, but we get up again. 2 Corinthians 4:8, 9

To all who mourn...He will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead

of mourning, festive praise instead of despair, they [you] will be like great oaks that the Lord

has planted for his own glory. Isaiah 61:3 NLT

HOPE

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As I sat there at the reunion listening to them talk about the same ol’ things, and complain about the same ol’ things, I realized nothing had changed. Everyone had gotten a little older these past ten years, but what, really, had changed for any one of them sitting there? Not much that I could tell….

I have heard the 2000 - 2009 de-cade referred to as the “Decade of Uh-ohs” or the “Decade of Shattered Dreams.” No matter what you label it, here is the decade in review: 9/11, Tsunami in the Indian Ocean, Anthrax scare, hurricane Katrina, Virginia Tech shooting, American Idol, Lord of the Rings, the first African-American president, the most decorated athlete in history, technology breakthroughs (IPOD, YouTube, Facebook, Twitter), the miracle on the Hudson, the wars in Iraq and now Afghanistan, H1N1, the recession, and of course, Kanye West’s famous quote “I’ma let you finish.” But no matter what has happened in the previous decade, one thing I know for sure -- hope comes with the next decade!

Many of us have set goals to lose weight and get in shape, get better jobs, get out of debt, be better parents to our children, or spend more time with friends and family. But the truth is, if you want this next decade to be better than the last, there’s something you have to do: You have to change your thinking. Nothing will change

in your life unless you change the way your mind operates. Maybe you’re saying, “I’ve already made the decision to be born again and give my life to God.” That’s great! But that’s just the begin-ning of a life worth living.

When you combine your new heart with a brand new way of thinking -- a mindset -- in-credible changes take place in your life. The Bible says in Romans 12:2, “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.”

Why do we struggle with the same issues and continue to commit the same sins? It is because our thinking has not changed. We still think and be-have as the world does. In our “worldly” mind it’s still okay to get drunk once in a while, or go out partying, or get revenge on someone who has wronged us. It’s alright to tell someone off if they really deserve it, or tell nasty jokes if they’re really funny. These things don’t matter if we really love God, right?

WRONG! The Bible says in Matthew 22:37, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all our mind.” That means God not only wants you to love Him with your heart, but also with your mind adapting and bending to His way of thinking.

And this is what God thinks: “Get rid of all hard feelings, anger, and rage. Stop all fighting and lying. Put away every form of hatred.” (Ephesians 4:31)

“There must not be any unclean speech or foolish talk or dirty jokes. All of them are out of place.” (Ephesians 5:4)

“Let us act as we should, like people living in the daytime. Have nothing to do with wild parties. Don’t get drunk. Don’t take part in sexual sins or evil conduct. Don’t fight with each other. Don’t be jealous of anyone.” (Romans 13:13)

If you want to see good changes take place in your life; if you want to see God’s blessings; if you want to see a difference in your life -- you have to change your thinking! When you change your thinking, you will change your life. Take the advice of Colossians 3:2 “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.”

Recommended reading: Battlefield of the Mind, by Joyce Meyers

Olga “Nena” Podbury grew up in the Bronx, New York, but currently lives with her husband, Ben, in Denver, Colorado. They have a company, Big Picture Creations. Nena co-authors children’s curriculum

By Olga “Nena” Podbury

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If you’ve got kids, you’ve got toys lying around. But after you’ve tripped over the same thing for the tenth time, you may wonder, “Are these toys all that necessary?”

Well, a long time ago when my cousin was just a little guy and times were tough, he got only some socks and some pants for Christmas. He was heard to say, “Cwoves [clothes], cwoves, cwoves, I got a hun’red cwoves! What I need is toys!” And while he may not have been an expert, he was right. Kids needs toys. Kids of all ages need toys, and that includes you!

Toys are important for your child’s de-velopment. They can help activate their senses, creating experiences that help them with different skills. Babies even need them to become aware of their own bodies and surroundings. Since kids are born with a desire to explore and grow, and toys help them do that. And often these toys have rewards that keep the child trying and trying until he or she masters the skill. Toys can’t replace parents, but they sure brighten the world of a child and do lots of good for him or her, too.

So encourage your children to play, whether they’re six months old or six years old. Always watch them, but don’t

tell them what to do. Enjoy watching them discover and learn for themselves. After they have figured it out, you can join in and play and talk about it. No one, not even a little kid, wants someone older to be a show-off and take all of the fun away.

The first six months of an infant’s life is a great time to have a mobile above the crib to help with eye movements. Move it from side to side. Let them grasp toy rattles too.

From six months to one year, a baby learns to sit up, crawl, and stand. Toys are a fun motivation for them to reach for. Games that are bright, colorful and that play music or roll slowly away encourage children to crawl toward them. Play hiding games by putting something under a blanket and letting them find it. Choose toys that are soft and touchable, not stiff with parts that can break off. Black and white toys help the infant to focus, too!

There are many more tips for children and toys, but Moms, here’s some for you!

*Hula hoops -- Do you still have what it takes?*Barbie Dolls*Coloring Books

*Puzzles*Skipping (no money involved, but my personal favorite)*Swinging on swings*Playing dress up *Board games – “Trouble” and “Sorry” are favorites

Karen Blake writes, “I think that whatever you liked as a kid should be what you can play with now. Why does all the creative stuff belong to the kids? Take Playdough for instance, with all those cool colors and cutting machines. Feel free (be released) to play with this stuff now!

“Basically, I think you should play with anything you like playing with and not be restricted (in your mind) by your age. Just enjoy!

“Your kids will be delighted to see you enjoy and learn how to enjoy themselves!”

Just as you like to watch your kids having fun, it’s the same for your Heavenly Father. He likes to watch you enjoy life.

By Crystal Wacker

The Magazine to Empower and Enrich Today’s Urban Woman Spring 2010

7 Reach UP

Given to you by:

Sandra from Harlem asks:Why is it that after the holidays or big events I always get sick? Right now I’m congested, have a fever, and feel run down.

Sandra, that is a great question, especially at the start of a new year. I have always thought there was a con-nection between stress and getting sick. It’s common to see many of my co-workers get sick after the holi-days -- having coughs, colds, or just feeling run-down. Everyone knows that a cold is a virus. Right? But why do some people get sick and some don’t?

I’ve done some research on this question.Medical professionals still can’t find one single biological cause for why people get ill. According to psych- ologists, the mind seems to play a key role in giving in to becoming sick. Those long days of shopping, preparing, not sleeping, and feeling stressed all add up to the breakdown of the immune system, making us sick. Who wouldn’t want a few days to sleep and stay in bed? The body and the mind are linked together.

How you think actually plays a part in your getting better. If you want to get better, you are going to want to see your- self healthy.

Ask Pat!

So, what does the picture in your mind of your world look like? Is it good and healthy, or sick and depressed?

An overall healthy lifestyle is very important, too. That’s why doctors always say to get plenty of sleep, eat well, and exercise. All three of these parts work together to build you back up physically, mentally, and emotionally! When you get yourself built back up, you strengthen your immune system and start feeling good every day, ready to fight those bad germs!

Pat Gonzalez, RN, BSN, CPANDirector of Quality, Risk ManagementCorporate Compliance OfficerO’Connor and Tri-Town Regional HospitalBassett Healthcare Network

New York