Strong and Weak By Andy Crouch - EXCERPT

8/20/2019 Strong and Weak By Andy Crouch - EXCERPT

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Andy Crouch is executive editor atChristianity Today. He is a seniorfellow of the International JusticeMission's IJM Institute, and a memberof the Board of Advisors for the JohnTempleton Foundation. He is also theauthor of Playing God.

ANDY CROUCH Author of Culture Making

STRONG AND WEAK

EMBRACING A LIF E OF L OVE,

RISK & TRUE FLOURISHING



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© by Andy Crouch

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Scripture quotations, unless otherwise noted, are from the New Revised Standard Version of the Bible,copyright by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ inthe USA. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

While any stories in this book are true, some names and identifying information may have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Names: Crouch, Andy, author.Title: Strong and weak : embracing a life of love, risk, and true ourishing

/ Andy Crouch. Description: Downers Grove : InterVarsity Press, . | Includes

bibliographical references. Identiers: LCCN (print) | LCCN (ebook) | ISBN

(hardcover : alk. paper) | ISBN (eBook)Subjects: LCSH: Success—Religious aspects—Christianity. | Love—Religious

aspects—Christianity. | Vulnerability (Personality trait) | Risk taking(Psychology)—Religious aspects—Christianity. | Control(Psychology)—Religious aspects—Christianity.

Classication: LCC BV . .C (print) | LCC BV . (ebook) | DDC. —dc

LC record available at http://lccn.loc.gov/

P Y




C

Beyond the False Choice /

Flourishing /

Suffering /

Withdrawing /

Exploiting /

Interlude: Te Path to Flourishing /

Hidden Vulnerability /

Descending to the Dead /

Up and to the Right /

Acknowledgments /

Notes /

Discussion Guide /




B F C

T wo questions haunt every human life and every humancommunity. Te rst: What are we meant to be? Tesecond: Why are we so far from what we’re meant to be?

Human beings have an indelible sense that our life has apurpose—and a dogged sense that we have not fullled ourpurpose. Something has gone wrong on the way to becomingwhat we were meant to be, individually and together.

Te rst question exposes the gap in our own self-understanding, our half-formed sense that we are meant to

be more than we know. How can we have such a deep senseof purpose but nd ourselves unable to easily name orgrasp that purpose? Yet this is the human condition.

Te second question exposes the gap between our aspira-tions and our accomplishments, between our hopes and ourreality, between our reach and our grasp. If the rst question

gives voice to our greatest hopes, the second brings to the




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surface our deepest regrets. Having both great hopes andgreat regrets is also, alas, the human condition.

In this book I offer a way of answering both of thesequestions. It’s simple enough to explain in a minute ortwo of conversation, or in a page or two of a book—it’scoming up in just a few pages, and you’ll grasp its essencealmost immediately. You’ll see it in action in your friend-

ships, your workplace, your family and your favorite Vshow or movie—you’ll nd it in the pages of Scriptureand in the most mundane moments of day-to-day life.You’ll see it in the most horrifying contexts of injusticeand exploitation, and in the most inspiring moments ofcompassion and reconciliation.

Many simple ideas are simplistic—they lter out toomuch of reality to be truly useful . Tis one is not, be-cause it is a particular kind of simple idea, the kind wecall a paradox. It holds together two simple truths in asimple relationship, but it generates fruitful tension,complexity and possibility. I’ve come to call it the

paradox of ourishing.“Flourishing” is a way of answering the rst great question,What are we meant to be? We are meant to ourish—not justto survive, but to thrive; not just to exist, but to explore andexpand. “ Gloria Dei vivens homo, ” Irenaeus wrote. A loose—but by no means inaccurate—translation of those words hasbecome popular: “Te glory of God is a human being fully




Beyond the False Choice

alive.” o ourish is to be fully alive, and when we read orhear those words something in us wakes up, sits up a bitstraighter, leans ever so slightly forward. o be fully alivewould connect us not just to our own proper human purposebut to the very heights and depths of divine glory. o livefully, in these transitory lives on this fragile earth, in such away that we somehow participate in the glory of God—that

would be ourishing. And that is what we are meant to do.Every paradox requires that we embrace two things that

seem like opposites. Te paradox of ourishing is that trueourishing requires two things that at rst do not seem togo together at all. But in fact, if you do not have both, youdo not have ourishing, and you do not create it for others.

Here’s the paradox: ourishing comes from being bothstrong and weak.

Flourishing requires us to embrace both authority and vulnerability, bothcapacity and frailty—even, at least in this

broken world, bothlife and death.Te answer to the second great question— Why are we

so far from what we’re meant to be?— is that we have for-gotten this basic paradox of ourishing, which is the secretof being fully alive. Actually, we haven’t just forgotten it, asif we had misplaced it absentmindedly. We’ve suppressed

Flourishing comes frombeing both strong and weak.




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it. We’ve hidden it. We’ve ed from it. Because we fear it.I used to think that what we feared was vulnerability—

the “weak” part of the paradox. But in the course ofwriting this book and talking with many others about theparadox of ourishing, I’ve realized that we fear authoritytoo. Te truth is that we are afraid of both sides of theparadox of ourishing—and we especially fear to combine

them in the only way that really leads to real life, for our-selves and others.

Tis book is about how to embrace the life for which wewere made—life that embraces the paradox of ourishing,that pursues greater authority and greater vulnerability atthe same time.

But most of all, this book is about a picture, the simplestand best way I know to explore the paradox of ourishing.It’s really just a sketch, the kind of thing you can draw on anapkin, but it will give us plenty to think about for the restof this book (see gure . ).

It’s one of my favorite things: a x chart.

T P

Tere’s nothing I nd quite as satisfying as a x chart atthe right time. Te x helps us grasp the nature of paradox.When used properly, the x can take two ideas we thoughtwere opposed to one another and show how they com-plement one another.





Te world is littered with false choices. Te leadershipwriters Jim Collins and Scott Porras talk about “the tyrannyof the OR and the genius of the AND.” Should products below cost or high quality? Whom do managers serve, theirinvestors or their employees? Te most transformativecompanies manage both. Are we the products of our

nature or our nurture? Tey are not opposites—they haveto go together.Te Christian world has its own versions: Is the mission of

the church evangelism and proclamation or is it justice anddemonstration? Are we supposed to be conservative or radical,contemplative or active, set apart from the world or engagedin the world? Or take the topic that almost generated the rst

IV I

III II

WITHDRAWING SUFFERING

EXPLOITING FLOURISHING

A U T H O R I T Y

VULNERABILITY

Figure .




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great biblical x chart. Is the life of the Christian about faithor works? (“Show me your faith apart from your works, and Iwill show you a x chart of my faith and works”—James : ,my take on the original Greek!) Ten you’ll be ready for theultimate question: Was Jesus of Nazareth human or divine?Was he Son of Man or Son of God?

In all these cases, what we need is not a linear “or” but

a two-dimensional “and” that presses us to see the sur-prising connections between two things we thought wehad to choose between—and perhaps even to discover thathaving the fullness of one requires that we have the fullnessof the other.

One of the best examples comes from studies of effective

parenting—the kind of parenting that produces childrenwho display self-condence and self-control. Which isbetter, to be a strict, demanding parent who sets rmboundaries, or a responsive, engaging parent who interactswith their children with warmth and compassion? If youwere a parent, where on this spectrum would you want to

be (see gure . )?Put the question this way and most parents will lean one

FIRMNESSWARMTH

Figure .





way or the other. Some will quote Proverbs—“spare the rod,spoil the child”—and opt for rmness (see Proverbs : ).Others will quote Paul—“Fathers, do not provoke yourchildren to anger”—and opt for warmth (see Ephesians : ,Colossians : ).

Both are right.Firmness and warmth, it turns out, are not actually op-

posites. Tey can go together—in fact, they must go to-gether for children to ourish. Teir relationship is muchbetter shown with a x (see gure . ).

Map rmness and warmth this way, and you quickly dis-cover that either one, without the other, is poor parenting.Firmness without warmth—authoritarian parenting—leads

F I R M N E S S

WARMTH

Figure .




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eventually to rebellion. Warmth without rmness—in-dulgent parenting—leads eventually to spoiled, entitled brats.

In fact, there aren’t just two ways to be a bad parent—there are three! Te worst of all is parenting that is neitherwarm nor rm—absent parenting (see gure . ).

Tere is a difference, it turns out, between being nice

and being kind. “Nice” parenting drifts down to the bottomright, settling for easy, warm feelings without ever settinghigh expectations. Kind parenting manages to be clear andrm while also tender and affectionate. Psychologists callit authoritative parenting rather than authoritarian . Tebest parenting, in our x , is up and to the right.

Tere are a few more insights hidden in this simple diagram.

ABSENT INDULGENT

AUTHORITARIAN KIND

IV I

III II

F I R M N E S S

WARMTH

Figure .





I’ve numbered the quadrants using Roman numerals I to IV,starting with the ideal quadrant up and to the right and con-tinuing around clockwise—in the same order and directionwe’ll consider them for the next four chapters. Consider theline from the top left to the bottom right, from quadrant IV(Authoritarian) to quadrant II (Indulgent), from rmnesswithout warmth to warmth without rmness.

Remember our one-dimensional line with warmth onthe left and rmness on the right? In practice, if that is yourmental model of parenting, you’ll end up becoming eitherauthoritarian (rmness without warmth) or indulgent(warmth without rmness). Te IV-II line describes theline of false choice—the world we often think we live in (see

gure . ). It describes our default way of thinking about

IV I

III II

F A L S E C H O I C E

Figure .




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how the world works—at least when we are limited to alinear model.

Because neither authoritarian nor indulgent parentingproduces healthy results, they tend to generate and rein-force one another. Grow up in an authoritarian home, and

you may well react by being an overly indulgent parent.Grow up with indulgence, and you may well overcorrect

toward strictness when your own children come along.Much of the dysfunction of our lives comes from oscil-lating along the line of the false choice, never seeing thatthere might be another way.

One other observation: Tere is one quadrant that reallyis the worst of all. It’s quadrant III (Absent), the quadrant

of withdrawal and disengagement. Authoritarian parentsmay not meet their children’s need for affection, but at leastthey provide structure. Indulgent parents may not providestructure, but at least they create an environment of ac-ceptance and affirmation. But absent parents leave two

voids in their children’s lives, not just one. Tere’s some-

thing about the Absent quadrant that is uniquely dam-aging—the total opposite of the Kind quadrant.You could sum it up this way: We tend to think that our

lives have to be lived along the line of false choice, the IV-IIline. But actually the deepest question of our lives is howto move further and further away from quadrant III(Absent) and more and more fully into quadrant I (Kind).





Te III-I axis is the one that matters the most—the one thatleads from a life that is not worth living to the life that reallyis life. And that, in a nutshell, is what this book is about.

T P J

No human being ever embodied ourishing more thanJesus of Nazareth. No human life (let alone death) ever un-

leashed more ourishing for others. And precisely for thisreason, no other life brings the paradox of ourishing soclearly into focus. In the life of Jesus we see two distinctpatterns that can seem impossible to reconcile.

On the one hand, consider the bookends of his life onearth. He was born an infant, utterly dependent like every

other human being. He ended his life on a Roman cross,was buried and descended to the dead. One of Christian-ity’s oldest texts puts it this way:

Tough he was in the form of God,[he] did not regard equality with Godas something to be exploited,

but emptied himself,taking the form of a slave,being born in human likeness.

And being found in human form,he humbled himselfand became obedient to the point of death—

even death on a cross. (Philippians : - )




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On the other hand, there were Jesus’ three years of our-ishing public ministry, the culture-making effects of whichresound through history and throughout the world—themost consequential life ever lived. Christians believe thatthis very Son of Man and Son of God now sits at the righthand of the Father, truly the world’s Lord, and sends hisSpirit of power to equip us to live his life in the world. o

quote the very next line of that same ancient text: “TereforeGod also highly exalted him and gave him the name that isabove every name” (Philippians : ). Indeed, Jesus himselftold his rst followers that they would do even greaterthings than he himself had done (John : ).

But how can these two callings—to humility and to

boldness, to death and to life, to submission to the worstthe world can do and to reigningwith Christ over the world—possibly coexist? What do theymean for those of us who havesome scope of choice and

action—those of us who havebeen granted privilege andpower? What do they mean forthose who live at the cruelestedges of the world, in settings

of implacable injustice and oppression? Is there really anyChristlike way to exercise leadership within our broken

How can these twocallings—to humility andto boldness, to death and

to life, to submission tothe worst the world cando and to reigning withChrist over the world—

possibly coexist?





human institutions all the way up to (or down to) thechurch itself? What would be the specic practices wecould adopt to live in ways that bear the true image andbring lasting ourishing?

We need a way to hold these two seemingly opposingfacets of Jesus’ life, and our calling, together—a way tonavigate this complexity without being overwhelmed.

Which means we need a x chart, of course.

T D P

I’m sure you see it coming already—the two dimensions ofJesus’ life, his vulnerability in dependence and death on theone hand, his authority in his earthly ministry and his

heavenly exaltation on the other hand, can easily start toseem like linear alternatives. Exaltation or humiliation?Ascension or crucixion? Miracles of healing, deliveranceand even resurrection, or, “My God, my God, why have youforsaken me?” Te empty tomb or the cross? Te only wayto hold them together is a x (see gure . ).

Some of us will instinctively identify with, or aspire to,the “vulnerability” dimension. Perhaps that is the reality ofour lives—it is, eventually, the reality of every mortal life.It may be the reality of the community or family into whichwe were born, making us keenly aware of the limits of ourpower and the precariousness of our circumstances. Or wemay aspire to identify with vulnerable people and places.




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From those places and with those people, we look at Jesusand see vulnerability. Jesus identied with the vulnerablein his birth, life and death. Whether we identify with vul-nerability or aspire to it, Jesus is there.

On the other hand, others of us identify with, or aspireto, authority. We have been told we can make a difference

in the world; we’ve been given opportunities for creativityand leadership. Other people respond positively when wesuggest a course of action. Maybe we’ve invested sub-stantial amounts of our time and money (maybe ourparents’ money) in gaining authority in the form of trainingand certicates and degrees. We look at Jesus and see au-thority—as early as age twelve in the temple, engaging

FLOURISHING

IV I

III II

A U T H O R I T Y

VULNERABILITY

Figure .





powerfully with the scribes; standing up in his hometownsynagogue and boldly proclaiming himself as the ful-llment of the prophet’s vision; confounding Pilate and theJewish leaders even when he was in chains; breathing onhis disciples after his resurrection and giving them hisSpirit, telling them they were now commissioned to go outinto the whole world with his authority. Whether we

identify with authority or aspire to it, Jesus is there.When we identify with one dimension or another, it’s

easy to become impatient with people who emphasize theother one. I worked in a campus ministry on an Ivy Leaguecampus where we emphasized the Christian call to

“downward mobility,” to use one’s privilege and power as an

opportunity to serve the materially and spiritually poor.One day an African American student confronted me.

“When I came to college,” he said with some frustration,“my entire community held a prayer service and laid handson me to commission me to go to Harvard. And now youwant me to tell them that I’m just coming back to the hood

to work for a nonprot ministry?” His community hadcommissioned him for authority—power and position inparts of the culture where they had historically been absentor underrepresented. Who was I to tell him not to stay onthat path?

What I was missing, at that point in my life, was a xconception of authority and vulnerability—the possibility




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that the journey of Christian discipleship, and true power,would involve not just a progression toward one or theother, but toward both at the same time. Such a conceptionwould not simply authorize my student to leave his vulner-ability behind and pursue privilege and power, but it alsodid not authorize me to ignore his (and his community’s)legitimate pursuit of ourishing and the authority that

ourishing requires.Tis book is my long overdue answer to that student.

First we will examine the four possible combinations of au-thority and vulnerability on that x diagram. Properlycombined, authority and vulnerability lead to ourishing(chapter ). But when either one is absent—or even worse,

when both are missing—we nd distortions of humanbeings, organizations and institutions. We nd suffering,withdrawing and exploiting (chapters , and )—which intheir most virulent forms become poverty, apathy andtyranny. Tey don’t always appear to be that bad—povertycan look like mild disempowerment, apathy can look ap-

pealingly like safety, tyranny often seems like mastery. Inanother layer of complexity, it will turn out that all of usinevitably spend time in each of these three quadrants, andGod’s grace is real and available in them all. But none ofthem is the fullness of what we are made for, the life that isreally life.

So how do we move up and to the right on this x chart?





Surprisingly, rather than simply moving pleasantly intoever greater authority and ever greater vulnerability, wehave to take two fearsome journeys, both of which seemlike detours that lead away from the prime quadrant. Terst is the journey to hidden vulnerability (chapter ) , thewillingness to bear burdens and expose ourselves to risksthat no one else can fully see or understand. Te second is

descending to the dead (chapter ) , the choice to visit themost broken corners of the world and our own heart. Onlyonce we have made these two fateful journeys will we bethe kind of people who can be entrusted with true power,the power that moves up and to the right (chapter ) andbrings others who have been trapped in tyranny, apathy

and poverty along with us.In the book Mountains Beyond Mountains, the re-

nowned public health physician Paul Farmer tells his bi-ographer, racy Kidder, “People call me a saint and I think,I have to work harder. Because a saint would be a greatthing to be.”

I think Farmer is entirely right that a saint would be agreat thing to be. Te saints are, ultimately, the people werecognize as fully alive—the people who ourished andbrought ourishing to others, the ones in whom the gloryof God was most fully seen. Tere really is no other goalhigher for us than to become people who are so full of au-thority and vulnerability that we perfectly reect what




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human beings were meant to be and disclose the reality ofthe Creator in the midst of creation. “Life holds only onetragedy,” the French Catholic Léon Bloy wrote, “not to havebeen a saint.”

But becoming a saint is about quite a bit more than“working harder”—or perhaps better put, it’s about a greatdeal less. If you have some inkling, like Farmer, that a saint

would be a great thing to be, and if you also have someinkling that you never could work hard enough to actuallybecome one, you’re on the path to true ourishing.




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Strong and Weak By Andy Crouch - EXCERPT