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2015
Susan C Wilson
Coaching and Consulting
and
Sandhya Rajagopal
Coaching With Sandhya
6/16/2015
Styles of Communication
Styles of Communication
Susan Wilson and Sandhya Rajagopal Page 2
Common Characteristics of Visual Style
See things as pictures
Memorize by creating visual images
Prefer getting a “bigger picture” rather than details.
Words used by a visual style communicator:
See
Look
Imagine
Focus
Picture
View
Clarify
Show
Visualize
Illustrate
Questions to stimulate a quick response from a visual style communicator:
Tell me what your picture looks like.
How does this look to you?
Is this clear?
Styles of Communication
Susan Wilson and Sandhya Rajagopal Page 3
Gifts of a visual style communicator
They are good at understanding the vision of the project.
They are great time managers
They are able to move from one topic to another easily.
Challenges of a visual style communicator
They become inflexible in the face of scheduling challenges
They tend to skip over details
They tend to rush others and themselves.
How to stay in rapport with a visual style communicator:
Provide agenda
Get to point quickly
Keep meetings short
How to break rapport with a visual style communicator
Ask for details
Leaving long voice mails or sending long-winded emails
Arriving late for a meeting.
Styles of Communication
Susan Wilson and Sandhya Rajagopal Page 4
Common Characteristics of Auditory Style
Remember what they hear
Learn by listening
Are good storytellers.
Words used by an auditory style communicator:
Resonate
Harmony
Discuss
Tune
Earshot
Say
Ringing
Whisper
Listen
Repeat
Questions to stimulate a quick response from an auditory style communicator:
Are we in tune with each other?
How does this sound?
Does this resonate with you?
Styles of Communication
Susan Wilson and Sandhya Rajagopal Page 5
Gifts of an auditory style communicator
They are frequently eloquent speakers.
They love discussions and give lengthy explanations.
They are great at brainstorming.
Challenges of an auditory style communicator
Being diplomatic is challenge for them
They are quick to anger if they do not feel heard
They may fall in love with the sound of their voice.
How to stay in rapport with an auditory style communicator:
Ask them about themselves
Repeating things back to them
Listening closely
How to break rapport with an auditory style communicator
Doing something else while they are talking
Interrupting them too often.
Having background noise that they cannot turn off.
Styles of Communication
Susan Wilson and Sandhya Rajagopal Page 6
Common Characteristics of Kinesthetic Style
Learn best through learning
Need time to feel their way through new information
Have a tendency to take time to settle into a new environment or situation
Words used by a kinesthetic style communicator:
Feel
Together
Touch
Grasp
Handle
Strike
Play
Soft
Connect
Complete
Questions to stimulate a quick response from a kinesthetic style communicator:
Can you relate to this
How does this feel?
Does this fit for you?
Gifts of a kinesthetic style communicator
They are good at relationship building.
They are detail oriented.
They are detail oriented.
Styles of Communication
Susan Wilson and Sandhya Rajagopal Page 7
Challenges of a kinesthetic style communicator
They can be slow and methodical and may need more time to complete a task.
They tend to provide more details than other people need or want.
They can get overwhelmed when presented with too many choices.
How to stay in rapport with a kinesthetic style communicator:
Make it a point to connect with them in a group situation
Being sensitive to their need to be comfortable in their physical environment.
Allowing them time for fun play and creativity.
How to break rapport with a kinesthetic style communicator
Keeping meeting too long.
Disregarding their intuitive and emotional reactions.
Stifling their creativity.
Styles of Communication
Susan Wilson and Sandhya Rajagopal Page 8
What Communication Style do you favor?
1. When you are trying something new, do you learn best
a) by reading about it,
b) hearing someone tell you about doing it
c) trying it out yourself
2. What is the best way to describe things to you?
a) Showing it to me brings clarity
b) I can remember well just by listening
c) Writing it down helps me to integrate it
3. When you make important decisions, what do you base them on?
a) How it looks to me.
b) How the idea sounds to me
c) My gut feeling
4. When you are unsure how to spell a word, what method do you use to recall it?
a) Write it down to see if it looks right
b) Spell it out loud to see if it sounds right
c) Trace the letters in the air (finger spelling)
5. You're out shopping for clothes and as you're waiting in line to pay, what are you most
likely to do?
a) Look around at other clothes on the racks
b) Talk to the person next to you in line
c) Fidget or move back and forth
6. What's the most effective method for you to study for a test?
a) Read the book or your notes and review pictures or charts
b) Have someone ask you questions that you can answer aloud
c) Make up index cards that you can review
7. If you went to a dance, what would you be most likely to remember the next day?
a) The faces of the people who were there
b) The music that was played
c) The dance moves that you did and the food that you ate
Styles of Communication
Susan Wilson and Sandhya Rajagopal Page 9
8. When you are angry, how are you most likely to express it?
a) Put on your “mad” face
b) Yell and scream
c) Slam doors
9. Imagine you are in a place unknown to you, how would you find your way around?
a) Look for a map or directory that shows you where everything is
b) Ask someone for directions
c) Just start walking around until you find what you are looking for
10. What feature are you most likely to remember when you meet new people?
a) Their face but not their names
b) Their name but not their face
c) What you talked about with them
If you chose all (a) or mostly (a), then you are a visual learner.
If you chose all (b) or mostly (b), then you are an auditory learner.
If you chose all (c) or mostly (c), then you are a kinesthetic learner.
By
Susan C Wilson
And
Sandhya Rajagopal
Building Rapport: The First Step to a
Successful Consultation
What is Rapport?
Same wavelength
Connection
In sync
No rapport – sense of uneasiness
Agenda
Today, we are going to be discussing:
What is rapport?
What are some of the benefits in building rapport
Techniques to building rapport
How to build rapid rapport
Objectives
By the end of this session, you will be able to:
Identify the importance of building rapport
Outline the techniques for building rapport
Practice these techniques
What is Rapport?
“A close and harmonious relationship, in which the
people or groups concerned understand each
other's feelings or ideas and communicate well.”
What is Rapport?
Two ways of looking at Rapport:
1. Intentionally build rapport at start of
interaction
2. Assume you are in rapport but notice when
broken
What is Rapport?
Rapport is a skill that can be learned or
improved upon.
Benefits to Building Rapport
Builds Trust
Demonstrates Empathy
Helps motivate the client
Discover more accurate diagnosis
Goals for Consultation
“A consultation without established outcomes is
analogous to trying to buy a ticket from a travel
agent without knowing where you want to go.”
(Garner Thomson and Dr. Khalid Khan 2009)
Goals for the Consultation
What does the client want?
What does the Health Professional want?
In building rapport the most important
thing to remember is to learn about how
the other person represents their world.
Decoding Client’s Inner Experience
Communication style is a window to a person’s world.
Decoding Client’s Inner Experience
Communication Process 93% Non-Verbal + 7% Verbal
55% of message pertaining to feelings and attitudes is in facial expression/body language
38% of message pertaining to feelings and attitudes is in paralinguistics
7 % of message pertaining to feelings and attitudes is in the words that are spoken
Non-Verbal Communication
Physiology (55%)
Lower Body: Stance, Legs
Upper Body: Shoulders, arms, hands and gestures
Head and Face: Facial expressions, Position
and/or movement of head
Non-Verbal Communication
Look for consistency or inconsistency between different non-verbal cues.
Look for consistency or inconsistency between non-verbal cues and verbal cues.
Look at non-verbal cues as a whole
Non-Verbal cues speak the loudest.
Eye Movements
American psychologist, William James, “Principles of Psychology (1890)◦ Thought/feeling – eyes moved
Kinsbourne (1972); Kocel (1972); Gallin & Ornstein (1974) ◦ left and right hemispheres
Robert Dilts (1977) – Study at Langley Porter Neuropsychiatric Institute in San Francisco◦ Electrodes – track eye movements and brain waves
Voice
How you say something is five times more
important than what you say
Tone
Tempo
Volume
Tone
High or low
Rising or falling
Monotone
Mid-range
Tempo
Speed of speech
Judgments
Volume
Loud or soft
Judgments
Remember
It’s not just about what you say, it’s how you say it!
The Words We Use
Words often indicate preferred method of
taking in information
Categories of words:
◦ Visual
◦ Auditory
◦ Kinesthetic
Learning Styles
Daniel Goleman said that by habit or under
stress, people rely on a favored mode to gather
information, organize it and express themselves.
Using a style similar to client establishes
empathy.
What is Your Learning Style?
Learning Styles
The VAK Model
Visual Auditory Kinesthetic
Know your own style of learning and:
Be able to appreciate your client’s style too. Be flexible and fit your style to that of client
Learning styles: VAK Model
According to the VAK Model most people
possess a dominant learning style
Some people have an evenly balanced blend
of different styles.
Communication Styles
Visual
◦ See things as pictures
◦ Memorize by creating visual images
◦ Prefer getting a “bigger picture” rather than details.
Posture and movement
Speech
Eye Movement
Communication Styles
Auditory
◦ Remember what they hear
◦ Learn by listening
◦ Are good storytellers.
Posture and movement
Speech
Eye Movement
Communication Styles
Kinesthetic
◦ Learn best through learning
◦ Need time to feel their way through new information
◦ Have a tendency to take time to settle into a new
environment or situation
Posture and movement
Speech
Eye Movement
How Do You Buy a New Car?
Calibration
The skill of calibration involves the awareness of
behavioral cues that correspond to the thinking
and feelings that the person is experiencing.
Calibration
Skill of sensory awareness
Skill of awareness of behavioral cues
Exercise – widening your gaze
Exercise – calibrating likes/dislikes of another
Exercises
Widening Your Eyes
Like/Dislike
Techniques for Building Rapport
Matching and Mirroring
Pacing and Leading
Be Authentic and Sincere!
Matching and Mirroring
Matching someone else’s non-verbal or verbal communication
Mirroring exactly what the other person is doing or saying
State or mood
Breathe
Pacing and Leading
Pacing is mirroring and matching the other
person.
Leading is exhibiting different behaviour.
First, Pace, Then, Lead.
Move from old pattern to new
Demonstration of Pacing and Leading
What? Break Rapport?
When is it beneficial to break rapport?
Session to a timely end
To avoid burnout
Ways to Break Rapport
Stop matching and/or mirroring
Do something different
◦ Break eye contact
◦ Turn away from the client
Why Rapid Rapport?
First impressions
To regain rapport, if lost
Rapid Rapport
1. Smile
2. Look the person directly in the eyes
3. Silently project the message of goodwill
4. If appropriate – shake the person’s hand
Approachability and Credibility
Appearance
Voice Quality
Demonstration of Approachability and
Credibility
Summary
Rapport is a skill you can learn and improve upon
Engaging in rapport must be subtle
Flexibility
Mutually beneficial goals
Well-wishes and positive states
Awareness of body language, voice and words
When to break rapport and how to rapidly build it
How to be approachable, as well as credible in
your communications with your clients