Magazine of the Thames Valley HOG Chapter

. JULY 2015

Hotline: 01753 578616 www.thamesvalleyhog.org.uk

Inside this issue…

Front cover Clive and Michelle tie the knot– how happy can a couple be?

Page 3 SofER Info

Page 4, 6 Director’s Update

Page 7 Boys’ Stuff - Mike and Ralph

Page 8, 9 LoH - Sue’s Page

Page 10, 11 The Scottish Wedding- Di Earley

Page 12, 13 San Tropez- - CJ

Page 14, 15 Calendar

Page 16, 19 Portugal. Part 2 - Terry Dunn

Page 20 Wake the Lakes - Doughnut

Page 21 Robiin Hood Ride-out

Page 22 Burley Ride-out

Page 23 New Members

Page 24 World Ride / Reading Bike Night

Page 25 Photo Gallery

Page 26 Ride-out / Prom Night

Page 27 Just for Fun Back cover: Meet the committee

July/August Birthdays

Trudy Boothby 22nd July

John Ingram 27th July

Yvonne Cotsford 8th August

Graham Odey 15th August

Toni Charles 16th August

Happy birthday to you all!

A bigThank You to ALL who have sent copy for this month magazine: Terry, Diane, Don, Ralph, Sue D, Pat A, Linda, CJ, Thelma, Paul H, and Fiona.

After a slow start to the season, I have had a few good rides this month. Nottingham to the Robin Hood

party and Burley the following day, clocked up over 500 miles that weekend. The following w/e was a surprise ride for Amy Hayward; that was over 100 miles through lovely countryside. I’m not going to match the 6,000 miles of last year but I’m

going to have a good try! Sue

Guidelines for

SofER Banding Volunteers

Please wear your Hi-Visibility jacket at all times. Always pay attention, as bikes may be approaching in large groups. Never approach a moving motorcycle. Once the motorcycle has come to a stop ask the rider to turn off the

engine. They do not need to get off the bike. Check Rally ticket. Under no circumstances do you admit anyone

who is not able to produce a rally ticket.

Punch the rally ticket using the hole punch provided but please avoid the ticket number. The number needs to be read by the registration desk to ensure that the correct rally pack is issued.

Check that the two bands have the same number. Place the appropriate band on the left wrist of the rider. Make sure

that the band is tight enough not to slip over the hand but is also comfortable. If band has a long end either remove with scissors or fold over before securing the band closed.

Place the corresponding band on the handlebars of the bike so that

it can be easily seen by security.

Pillion Rider – make sure you use the appropriate colour band. Place band on wrist as before. Make sure it cannot be removed but is still comfortable to wear. Remove any long ends with scissors or fold over before securing the band closed.

Once banding is complete step away from the bike and ask the

rider to move away from the banding site.

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Hi Everybody , Welcome to the July edition of Tales from the Riverbank.

What an absolutely fantastic month it’s been with the weather; so many rides and events to attend in beautiful sunshine. Since last club night the school prom season has started with Thames Valley being booked to escort two young people to their Prom nights. Both arrivals at the proms were voted the best entrance. Well done everybody who attended, Thames Valley Massive strikes again!! World Ride Day this year - six of us rode to Lincoln Harley Davidson clocking up 340 miles each which were added to the rolling counter. The total this year came to 11,966,614 miles ridden by Harley Riders worldwide. We must try something new next year to entice more members out to ride on World Ride weekend. The following weekend even less riders from Thames Valley made their way north to the new dealership of Robin Hood Harley Davidson in Nottingham. We arrived around lunchtime to a carpark filled with 100s of bikes and twice as many people milling around the carpark listening to the bands and enjoying food from the Sherwood Chapter BBQ. After having a good look round at a well-stocked dealer-ship, and having had an Ice Cream ;) we left to come home, as time was getting on and our thoughts of the ride home were on our minds. As we left the dealership heading south on the motorway and then onto an A road towards Coventry, we rode through a small village and found a lovely country pub for a bite to eat and some refreshments - a well earned comfort break. It had been a long day with most of the riders not getting home much before 8:30. A great day out in Nottinghamshire with a group of good friends. Looking forward into July, the boys are away at the Fenlanders Rally in Norfolk, and a week later a small group are back up to the north of England for the Heart & Soul Rally on Tyneside, two rallies I’m looking forward to.

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The first Reading Harley-Davidson bike night last month was a great success with so many members from Thames Valley and many bikers from local clubs supporting the event. Next bike night, July 23

rd we will be sorry to miss. We are not around to enjoy the

evening as the boys are at the Fenlanders Rally.

The SofER rally is now just 4 weeks away and with tickets sales at 1380 to date, it looks like being a great rally. The chapter will have a designated camping area on the campsite with tea & coffee available all weekend from the Gazebo, early Saturday evening before the bands get underway. From around 6:30ish we are laying on drinks and nibbles at the chapter camping area where all Thames Valley members are welcome to join us to celebrate the return of the South of England Rally.

This year the chapter will be holding an end of season party at the Grenadier Club Windsor. We are just in the process of finalising the booking of a Band, & Casino evening for the entertainment. If you can reserve October 10

th in your diaries, by next club night we should

have tickets available at a very reasonably price.

Thames Valley will again be taking a ride out to The National Arboretum, in Tamworth Staffs, on October 3

rd to support Ride to the

Wall. Donations to attend the event can be made via the Web site www.ridetothewall.com including purchasing of RTTW merchandise.

Chapter News We are still on the hunt for more members to train as Road Crew. If you are an experienced rider and would like to join our road crew team come and have a chat with either Nick or myself. As well as looking for Road Crew, a position for an Activities Officer will be available shortly. The person applying for the position would need to find suitable rides, events and places of interest for the chapter to visit, and keep the calendar up to date on the website. The successful applicant would need to attend committee nights once a month. The membership figures for June were very impressive. We had 7 new members sign up at club night, which brings our membership up to 163 full members and 75 affiliated, totalling 238. Club night attendance, 86 in total.

Don

On a personal note, Amy, our Daughter, celebrated her 30

th Birthday a few weeks

back at the Red Lion Pub and Restaurant in Oakley Green, Windsor. Amy would like to thank you very much for her cards, gifts and for joining her to celebrate her special day with family and friends. Hope you & Dan enjoyed the surprise bike

ride last Saturday. Many thanks to you guys for helping arrange a ride for them. We have a great club to enjoy with some great friends. Ride Safe & carry on having fun.

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We are looking for keen riders from our group who would like to join our road crew. You will be a man or woman with a varied riding experience, willing to learn and ready to commit to helping our club with ride outs throughout the year.

To begin with you will join our road crew as a Road Marshal where you will go through a locally formatted training program. This will help to familiarise you with the dynamics of group riding, safety and, hopefully, help you improve your personal riding skills. On successful completion of your Marshal training, you can opt to join our team of Road Captains. You will be invited to attend a weekend with HOG trainers at the HD European HQ in Oxford, to gain your Road Captain qualification. When you are qualified we ask that you commit to plan and lead at least 2 rides per year (more if you like). These can be rides which YOU choose, arrange, and lead, or something from a member suggestion list. Many of our current Road Crew are advanced riders and we would love to

find people within our group who want to improve their own abilities whilst giving something back to their fellow club members. Don't delay ... apply today …Lady riders very welcome ;-) Contact Nick West or Don Wibberley to register your interest.

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Hungarian Wood Chopper Istvan Puskas, a motorcycle enthusiast from Hungary, took the term ‘chopper’ literally and actually spent two years chopping his dream ride from wood. It is not clear whether the agricultural machine expert from Tiszaros, 161 km east of Budapest, couldn’t afford to buy himself an ordinary chopper, or if he just wanted to create something that would stand out wherever he went, but his wooden masterpiece certainly got a lot of attention when it was first unveiled.

Puskas used weather-resistant black locust wood to make most of the parts of this unique machine, including the frame, forks and wheel rims. The fuel tank is a recycled wooden wine barrel. Wood is not the only unusual material he used to create this special chopper. Instead of chromed steel, the handlebars and exhaust pipes are made from cow’s horns, and the amateur bike-maker used deer antlers as decorations. But what’s most surprising about Istvan Puskas’s chopper is that it actually works. He used the engine of a small Fiat built in Poland under licence from the Italian car maker. The chopper doesn’t look like it has any front or rear suspension, so I don’t think it’s the right vehicle for long outings especially at it has a maximum speed of about 18mph. Still, the level of craftsmanship that has gone into the build is nothing short of impressive. To see video of Puskas riding the bike go to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1y-oKRifcTI Ralph

Hi Ladies, Firstly, a huge welcome to all you new lady members, hope to catch up with you all very soon x For anyone that was able to attend the first Reading Bike Night at our dealership, my goodness, what a fantastic success! What with the fab live entertainment, food, great company... so many new faces… diferent makes of bikes - it was a great evening. Am really looking forward to the next meeting on Thurs 23/7/15 Like many of you, I've been following the ventures of Sue & Dave Brown ‘n Pat & Ron Jackson on Facebook, riding across America… we can't wait to see you and hear about your adventures & touring tips. We've had a great attendance from the club for two of the three Prom rides, what fun! & so lovely to see the gasps & hear the wows, when we've arrived at the venues, from the onlooking students & parents alike. Well done Malc, Chris & Jan for organising us all! Am absolutely certain that Lewis (Lee & Lou's son) will also have had great support too, last night.

I know we’re still in the midst of summer but we need to book up our LoH November Weekend away, which is 27/1 1 /201 5 for 3 nights, on a Turkey & Tinsel Weekend at Sand Bay Pontins. Price incl breakfast & evening meal - £69.00 per person for 3 nights based on either 2 or 3 sharing a chalet (your preference) £15 supplement per night for single occupancy. The resort is adults only, basic chalets, a heated indoor pool. There is a German Christmas market being held at Bristol, which is an approx 40 min drive from the resort. Local shopping at Weston Super Mare which is a short bus ride away. Let me know if you are interested, as quite a few of you have said, "Wherever we go, we'll have fun!" http://www.pontins.com/themed-breaks/sandbay/tinsel-turkey/

Next SATURDAY 25th July the ladies have an LoH girls’ day out - a 2 hour

(return) river boat trip on the Thames leaving Windsor 1.30pm. Please

check the details on our website calendar. If you'd like to join us & haven't paid

or received an email in the last week or so from me about it, please contact

me urgently as numbers need to be confirmed by tomorrow , thank you.

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Ladies, if you wish to be included in the LOH email list, please go to our LoH page on the TV website page & click on the pink envelope. Also, if there's anything you'd like brought to the commitee's attention, feel free to contact me at: ladiesofharley@thamesvalleyhog.org.uk 9

Not long now for our South of England Rally (SofER) at Hickstead. Any lady riders that are attending & would like to join the LoH rideout on Friday 14th Aug at 4pm, please email me either at ladiesofharley@thamesvalleyhog.org.uk or loh@sofer.uk.com with your name, reg number, bike or trike, and that you are Thames Valley Chapter, so we can make sure you are registered for the My Little Pony Ride. We already have eight Thames Valley ladies registered… Yay! Or should I say, neigh? lol Girls, keep your ideas coming... we need to start thinking about a ride/drive for 2016.. maybe on the Continent for us all, whoo hooo & no, we won't be stalking the boys on their weekend away! Now that summer is in full swing, if any of you fancy a ride-out or meet up, either after work or on a Saturday, let me know. Last, but by no means least, me, Bern & a few club members were delighted to be invited to two very special club members’ wedding in Scotland on June 13th. We all made our own way up by car to see Michelle & Clive marry on the RSS Discovery and my goodness, did we help them celebrate in style! Clive looked so handsome in his traditional Scottish outfit & my goodness, did the girl do good or what! Michelle looked so absolutely STUNNING in her wedding dress, as did her beautiful daughter & baby grandchild. After an emotional wedding ceremony on the ship (for the ladies at least) we made our way to the reception where we partied away until very, very late with family& friends! A really wonderful weekend was had by all. By the time you read this, they'll have already passed their one month wedding anniversary. Here's wishing them a lifetime of happiness together.

Ride safe, Sue Dodds x

LoH Representative 07775 913562

WOMEN WHO BEHAVE SELDOM MAKE HISTORY

10 Di Earley

Well, where to start? The first we knew about how serious the relationship was going was when we were at our Harley Club Night and an announcement was made by Clive & Michelle - they had got engaged! The lovely Lady who had met our very own gigolo at The Shack had actually got him smitten and under her spell. Yes, we did think this was a miracle because of the carefree attitude of Clive, lol. There was only one downside to this and that was she didn’t ride a Harley. But she was a lady rider so we didn’t hold this against her. Michelle fitted into our Harley ways very quickly and the difference we saw in our man was definitely for the better… Michelle is now a proud owner of a new Harley, and what a gorgeous bike it is! As time moved on we were all thinking the same, how lovely a couple they made (corny you say, yes, but if you have the pleasure in knowing Clive I challenge you to say any different!) Surely this only has one way to go and that is the big M word yes MARRIAGE. They told us that they had set a date for their wedding and it was going to be in Michelle’s home town of Dundee… SO, no gate-crashing on Harleys. We all thought, ‘what a shame…’ Never mind, we were all very happy for them. After talking with Michelle & Clive I noticed a tinge of sadness in them because this great couple knew they were not able to invite everyone that they would have liked. Nine guests from our Chapter were invited including the Best Man, Trevor, who now lives quite a distance away. CJ & I were extremely honoured to be invited so set about making plans for the journey up to Scotland. We travelled up to Kendal and stayed overnight in the Lake District. Our Hotel room was overlooking the Killington Lake, absolutely beautiful and a good start to what was turning out to be a great weekend. When we arrived at our final destination, the Quay Side Spa Hotel, we were greeted by our very own, yours truly, Trevor who was carrying his Best Man’s attire, but no kilt to be seen. I was surprised because Michelle & Clive had said to wear his (Maybe they secretly thought we all might wear our Harley Gear). Go figure the chances of us arriving at the same time, from different parts of the country, that’s typical of us Harley Riders, lol. We all checked in and arranged to meet up in the hotel bar for a well-deserved drink, due to it being so hot! Well, the weather was beautiful despite the forecast saying it was going to be a wet weekend - that’s our excuse anyway. We all met up for dinner and after chatting for 3½ the time was now 21:30! We hastily left the Pub and headed back. To our relief Clive & Michelle were still waiting around and when they saw us they laughed (let’s face it they know us well). We met both sides of their families and friends, and were surprised at how calm they both were... The wedding day arrived with fine weather and we had breakfast with Clive. It was a real pleasure to see him so happy and full of excitement, and listen to him plan his day. Once we were all ready we met up in the Hotel foyer and was pleasantly surprised to see Clive in a kilt. He looked amazing and was grinning from ear to ear . We had a quick chat and made our way along the quayside to where the Discovery Ship, in full glory, was waiting to greet us aboard for the wedding of Clive & Michelle. The ceremony was breath-taking and a wonder-ful experience feeling part of the service and their commitment to each other. The night went really well with us all meeting some of their amazing family and friends. Yes, there was some banter still had by us Harley Crew but what’s on tour stays on tour - don’t you

agree Paul? ALL in ALL a fantastic weekend !

11 10

I hope this article encourages you to travel to Europe on your Harleys because Europe has so much to offer us all. This road-trip took 4 Thames Valley Members through 5 countries: Belgium, Germany, Switzerland, Italy & France, with a one night stop in each until we reached our final destination - this year’s St Tropez HOG Rally in Port Grimaud. We were away for a total of 15 days although Paul & Gill, who are retired, stayed quite a bit longer. Lucky them! We started our journey on a dry sunny day and let the train take the strain by using the Euro-tunnel, which is the quickest, easiest route into Calais. The sunny/warm weather was to be the theme of this trip with temperatures improving day by day, rising from 19c to the middle 30s as we rode through Europe, and staying with us when we arrived @ the St Tropez Rally. Our route took us mainly on Motorways & some Toll roads which I know isn’t everyone’s cup of tea but if you want to cover long distances and visit several countries then this is the way to do it. We took regular, 1 hour stops for leg stretches, refuelling and taking on food and drink. This approach guarantees you arrive at each destinations in a fit state to take in the sights and enjoy the local food & wine on offer. The roads for approx 95% of the trip were very quiet and took us through beautiful, sometimes breath taking, scenery and not forgetting a few H-D dealerships visited en route, although we did find quite a few that were closed, lol. It was on one of the legs of our journey that, when using the bike to bike CB radio, we allocated handles/names to each other. Paul & Gill Major were now “Plastic Chicken” & “Little Chicken” and myself, CJ, & Di were called “Rubber Duck” & “Little Duck”. Childish, I know, but lots of fun. The Hotels we had pre-booked, all with secure bike parking—which is advisable, as you would in the UK - were a mix of chain and independent Hotels. I’ve got to say, the independent Hotels make your journey all the more memorable although all the hotels were very good. At most of our stops Paul & I had a ritual of washing the flys off our bike forks. This is because Paul had convinced me that the insect blood corrodes your forks. I wasn’t having none of that so I joined him in this ritual.

Sand or sea They spell, TV

After a Fantastic road trip through Europe we arrived @ the St Tropez HOG Rally where we met yet more Thames Valley members. Paul, aka Doughnut, & Julie had taken a different route through France. I’ve got to say this Rally is the best I’ve been to this far and I will be returning in 2016. The site we stayed on, Prairie De Le Mare, (A Mobile Home Park) was where the HOG Rally was held and was smack on the beach in an Ocean fronted bay setting. The site also places everything within walking distance with a great choice of independent stall holders selling everything from crash helmets to belts & buckles, and a Harley Village which had everything else, plus more. The Entertainment was superb on two Stages both on the beach, and the food & drink reasonably priced, too. The atmosphere here had a friendly, comfortable, family feel, and it doesn’t get better than this, I don’t think. We visited the Custom Bike show on another day which was a nice ride in to Grimaud Village. Wow, what a day this was! Absolutely brilliant with yet another fantastic colourful atmosphere surrounded by very old architecture and lots of beautiful customised bikes. The following day was the traditional Parade of Flags, where me and Di, Doughnut & Julie were representing Thames Valley. We rode a short distance to where they lined us up along a tree lined street and there were thousands of us waiting for the start to be announced. We rode 75km (46 miles) that day under a very hot 35c sun. A great day’s riding, but exhausting. When the HOG Rally finally wrapped up, the Prairie de le Mare site took on a whole new feel, with most HOG members having left for home. It was an experience to watch an event as big as this disappear in front of you. Another day greeted us with sunshine, so we rode Les Gorges du Verdon. This is a Got to Do It ride. It has everything a biker wants from roads that have gentle twists to mountainous views you just have to take photos of. We had Lunch in a restaurant that was on a bend of a road and over-looked a deep ravine between the mountains. Wow! Another fantastic day and a totally fantastic week. The time to return to England had arrived and although we were saying farewell to our riding friends we still had a 3 day’s journey before getting home, which is another story. I hope you enjoyed this journey with us.

Oh, don’t forget, ‘Life Is No Dress Rehearsal’ CJ & Di x

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August

Fleet Air Museum

Sunday 2nd, 09:00 - 15:00

Committee Night Tues 4th, 6:00 pm

Reading

Linda & Mick Friend’s

Sapphire Anniversary Party SUNDAY 9TH (not Saturday)

All welcome, from 1:00

Poker Run 5

Weds 12th, 6:30

New Leathern Bottle RG42 6ET

SofER Rally

14th-16th, Hickstead

Club Night

Thurs 20th 7:30

July

Welsh Weekend Fri 17th - Sun 19th

H Café 10:30 depart

Poker Run 4

Wed, 22nd 6:30 The Pineapple SL4 6QS,

Fenlanders Rally

Boys’ weekend Thurs 23rd, 9:30 depart

Beconsfield Services

Reading H-D

Bike night, 6:30 Thurs 23rd

LoH Boat Trip Sat 25th, 1:00pm

Barry Avenue, Windsor SL4 1QX

Ace Café

Thurs 30th, 6:00

Heart & Soul Rally

31st/2nd Aug Beaconsfield Services

8:00 for 8:30 depart

Club Nights

August 20th

September 17th

October 15th

November 19th

December 17th

Mag contribution

Deadlines

August 13th

September 10th

October 8th

November 12th

December 10th

Dates, events, ride-outs and activities

Details correct at time of going to print. Check the website for updates and amendments

www.thamesvalleyhog.org.uk

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Rallies 2015

Fenlanders Rally

23rd July, Boys’ weekend

(Club event)

Heart and Soul Rally

31st July-2nd Aug, North Shields

(Club event)

SofER

14th-16th Aug, Hickstead

(Club event)

Thunder in the Glens

28th—31st August

Aviemore, Scotland

Europen Bike Week

8th-13th Sept, Faaker See

Blazin’ Twenties

25th—28th Sept, Weymouth

New Forest Rally

(Club event)

Check website for details on all events

Tolls, tolls and more tolls - plus half a cow, some bird poo, an International incident and some mystery tolls. By Terry Dunn

The A28 is a big road so how we missed it I will never know. It was quite possibly due to the persistent rain and cold as we crossed into Portugal. Five or six hundred miles south of the start point and suddenly it was colder than Christmas Day in Lapland. On the upside the roads were clear, well surfaced and at only 169 miles it was a shortish day in the saddle. Fortunately, we did not encounter any toll difficul-ties so all was well as we arrived in Aveiro for a planned two-night stopover with a full day of rest. Aveiro struck me as a pleasant enough town. Plenty of bars and cafes plus a new shopping centre in the middle containing all the usual stuff you would find in England; sports shops, mobile phone shops and various fast food outlets. But there seemed to be something of a contradiction. While the main street was well populated with shops that sell expensive designer clothes and shoes - the sort of shops you never see any customers in - there was precious little evidence of retail outlets servicing the middle or lower classes. Almost as if in Portugal you either have lots of money or none at all. Of course there were a few Asian and Chinese general stores selling the usual cheap imported knock offs. It was from one of these very emporiums that one of my companions bought a brand new wrist watch for €5 because we had been struggling to know the time since leaving home. Within an hour it had given up any pretence of being a time piece and transformed itself into cheap jewellery whereupon it was consigned to a bin. It didn’t take long for us to settle on Tico Tico, the bar that was to become our local for two days. In keeping with local tradition they supply free stuff to eat with the beer. They also make a very good steak sandwich. Unfortunately, Tico Tico was also favoured by a colourful local who, in very good English, explained at length, with volume, what was wrong with the world. He must have been in his early thirties, unemployed and content to fill his days by filling himself with beer and attaching himself to anyone that would acknowledge his existence. I think he might have got on really well with Shirley. Day 7 Aveiro to Peniche Fully rested, we were on the road again towards the southerly most point of the journey. A short hop of 124 miles then north all the way to my house. At last, the southern European weather we had been hoping for. Blue sky all day. The countryside became flatter and the vegetation a bit less lush and a bit more scrubby. The road was as good as anything we had used and there was no traffic to speak of. Who knows why they spend so much money maintaining roads to such high quality when nobody uses them? It was during this day that we noticed the appearance of the overhead gantries. These are the things that record your progress in order to calculate the amount of the tolls. 16

Very helpfully, they have signs at the roadside regularly informing you of the cost of using the next bit of road but as you are already on it we couldn’t work out what you needed to do to avoid paying. I refer to these as the mystery tolls because we have no idea whether we incurred any cost and if we did how much it will be. No doubt a letter will be arriving from DVLC any day now to clarify the matter. Could hardly have been a better day for it, just a shame it was one of the shorter days. Sometimes you just want to carry on. There is no doubting Peniche’s appeal to the Portuguese, particularly those that enjoy dressing in tight fitting neoprene suits and hurtling around the Atlantic on surf boards. For those of us that would find the Fat Controller’s boiler suit figure hugging, it is rather less appealing. The evening aroma that wafted over from the fish gutting plant was even less endearing, but the hotel was comfortable, the beer was tolerable and the beach was very close for those that like that sort of thing.

It was at this hotel that the international incident was narrowly avoided. Having spent a few days in Spain where the time was one hour ahead of GMT, we had singularly failed to realise that in Portugal the clocks go back to GMT. This confusion led to our firm assertion that the appointed time for dinner had arrived but in fact it wouldn’t actually arrive for another hour. After a discussion verging on the belligerently insistent with the lady at the bar, during which she helpfully wrote the time down for us, we suddenly realised our error and deeply regretted the failure of the €5 watch. I think our purchase of a few souvenir tins of sardines from reception smoothed things over. Of course we also realised that since arriving in Portugal we had been going to our rooms at 8:30 in the evening which is a little early even for the elderly.

Day 8 Peniche to Vilar Formoso Turning away from the coast for the first time in about a week, we were heading into the hills. Unimpeded progress throughout a warm dry day left us at about 2,500 feet as we arrived in Vilar Formoso. Apart from a sat-nav deviation on to a single track road for a few miles, it was another perfect day. Mystery tolls continued from time to time but investigations at a fuel stop revealed what needed to be done. Easy really, just pop in to the post office and buy a three day ticket for €20. That would cover everything we had done that day but unfortunately it would-n’t get us off the hook for tolls incurred on the previous day.

Even better news, there was a post office only a short distance from the service station. However, it would be closed for the next two hours. No option then, with 216 miles to cover we couldn’t hang around and hoped that there would be a post office open when we arrived in Vilar Formoso.

17

Sat-Nav knows best

A word about Vilar Formoso. In days gone by when there were proper borders between European countries I imagine that it would have been a bustling little community servicing travellers and the border post. The border post buildings are still evident and on the day we arrived there was considerable uniformed activity in the town. Can’t say whether this is normal or not but it did seem over the top if they were looking for toll dodgers. To be on the safe side we managed to find the post office and purchased the toll tickets. Anyway, the town now has the seedy, rather unkempt, appearance of a frontier post marking the edge of civilisation. There are plenty of bars but little else other than a significant number of haberdashery shops. There is obviously a big demand for quilt covers and pillow cases and the means to make them. The hotel was a little unwelcoming. In darkness when we arrived, and after being told off by what appeared to be the cleaning lady when we parked our bikes in the wrong place in the garage beneath the hotel, we collected our TV remote controls from reception and paid our bills before being directed to our rooms. Presumably they are accustomed to residents leaving in the dead of night without paying. The rooms were dark and gloomy on arrival, similar I imagine to Reginald Christie’s front parlour, but this was mainly due to the shutters being firmly closed. I am sorry to say that in my enthusiasm to let some natural light in I managed to damage one of these but hopefully my repair job is still holding. Time to summon up the memories of Formula 1 accommodation. I’m ashamed to admit that for the first time on this trip I failed to take advantage of the ensuite shower. Having looked, I suspected that I may come out rather less clean than I went in. As things turned out, when there was a bit more activity in the hotel and the lights were on it all became a little less gothic, if you ignore the small hours high volume conversation between the night receptionist and either a guest, the hotel manager or a passing drunk. We did manage to find a decent dinner in the town and I expect that the place was not nearly as grim as it seemed during our brief visit. If nothing else, I was transported back to the 70s when encouraged to spark up a ciggy in a bar while having a drink. Ahhh, memories. Not recommended as a holiday destination though. Day 9 Vilar Formoso to Astorga Started badly as we left the hotel Stalag 15 and immediately entered a thick fog. It seems we were on a plateau and likely to remain there all day. Within ten miles we had left the fog behind and blue sky took its place for the rest of the day. A lengthy detour from the usual traffic free dual carriageway and on to normal A-type roads today but still remarkably empty. A bit irritating to see all that lovely new blacktop in the distance that we were not allowed to use but I am sure they had their reasons. Then there were the insects. Masses of them coated the front of the bikes but oddly not helmets or jackets. We were reliably informed later that we had passed through a flock of mosquitos. It was carnage. Many a young mosquito went hungry waiting for its parent that night.

18

The backstreets of Astorga. The hotel must be around

here somewhere.

19

Arriving in Astorga we had reached almost 3,000 feet above sea level. After riding around the narrow back streets for a bit, our leader discovered a button on the wall near a large door which proved to be the entrance to the hotel garage. Immediately inside the door the floor fell away, levelled off, then fell away for a second time. Now this is as much fun as you can have on the Pirates of The Caribbean ride at Disney-land but it is something else entirely when you are leaving bright sunshine behind and entering a dark hole whilst riding a bike with sunglasses on. All ended well, though. Astorga apparently has a very good reason to exist. I didn’t quite get the entire story but having been mistaken for three pilgrims by a local souvenir seller he was kind enough to try to explain that the town is sited at the cross roads of some roman roads and it is a place of importance on a pilgrims pathway. A bit like the Thicket roundabout for religious folk. Well worth a visit, and the hotel was outstanding, overlooking the main central square which was surrounded by bars and cafes. The only warning I would give is try to get a room at the back. The striking of the bells in that clock tower every 15 minutes can be a bit of a distraction during the night. Oh, and before I forget, choose your seat on the pavement with care. Whilst enjoying the first pint of the day my head sustained a direct hit from a bird perched on the front of the hotel. I would agree that under normal circumstances this would have been hilarious but a portion of the poo splashed into our leader’s beer. I was delight-ed to see him drink around the offending blob, something I have never seen accom-plished without a straw, and I am sure you will agree a skill to be much admired. Day 10 Astorga to somewhere on a hill near Santilana Del Mar which is near Santander Stunning countryside, dry roads as smooth as my labrador’s ear and much to my surprise, snow. Not snowfall of course, just a distant view of it lying on top of mountains. I suppose the barbers’ poles at the side of the road are a clue to what the winter might be like up there. Tomorrow only 20 odd miles left to the ferry port at Santander so this was a day to be relished. As a reward, the temperature increased as we descended from the plateau, reaching at least 32° before we arrived at the final hotel somewhere up a hill near a campsite. Once more the first beer was accompanied by food, this time a bowl of paella, and very tasty it was. Another hotel to be recommended if you are looking for a stop-over on the way to, or from, the port. Day 11 A simple 20 miles to the ferry then 24 hours of purgatory as you cross the Bay of Biscay shuffling around the decks like an extra from the Living Dead. Nothing much to say about this part of the journey, it was what it was. Ferry departure delayed by 1.5 hours due to bow door problems but other than that a simple matter of stowing the bike and hanging around until the boat ties up in Portsmouth. Then the shock of being disgorged into traffic mayhem that lasted all the way back to High Wycombe. Oh, what joy! If anyone tells you that this country isn’t full up then I suggest you take the ride I have just taken.

21

On Thursday 2nd July I took a leisurely ride North to

the Peak District National Park and on to Yorkshire where I met up with Trevor in Long Preston. From there we rode west to Kendal and the Gateway to the Lakes. This year, Wake The Lakes had changed its format and moved into Kendal Town as a festival, rather like Thunder In The Glens in Aviemore, and what a great idea that turned out to be! Many rally-goers chose to stay in the hotels in Kendal but those of us who wanted to camp could still use all the facilities of the Rugby Club, as in previous years, with their great cooked breakfasts and their bar, open all day. The main event was held at the Kendal Brewery and Arts Centre, with plenty of side events being held in the bars and restaurants and the Bootleggers nightclub all along the high street. The Rugby Club/campsite was only a short hop away and if you didn't want to ride into town, a shuttle-bus was provided which called by the campsite every 30 mins and would drop you right into the centre of the activities, where the bars were open and bands were playing most of the day. You could also choose to walk in if you wanted to, as it was only a 15 minute walk. The Brewery and Arts centre was a perfect choice of venue to hold the rally; a really picturesque garden with an outside stage and beer tent. This was also the venue for the trader village with ample parking for the bikes, several bars inside the Arts Centre and several places to eat. This also held the Malt room, which was the venue for the main evening bands. Thursday night kicked off with a real rocking band called Tin Pan Alley, staged at Bootleggers nightclub, and they brought the house down! A great choice. There were 5 ride-outs on the Friday, a technical ride, a Lakes ride, the LoH ride, a secret Lakes ride and an evening ride. Participants for these assembled in the Brewery car park with about 30 minutes between each ride departure. This was a spectacle to see in itself. We choose the secret Lakes ride which turned out to be a great 2 hour ride, taking us off the beaten track and down some hidden back roads which snaked around the lakes and through some very picturesque villages. We stopped for a coffee break at the Lakeside Motor Museum which had a great restaurant. Friday night’s band was the all girl band, Joan of Arc. I'd seen them before somewhere and they were really good, too. On the Saturday they held the main parade ride-out, but when we got up that morning the weather seemed a little overcast so we decided to give that a miss and ride back to the Motor Museum which held some great cars, and also loads of old and rare motorcycles. There was even a Steam train chuffing back and forth.

A well-spent morning. Afterwards we rode back to Kendal and the sun came out again so we sat in the Brewery garden and listened to the afternoon band with a beer. Saturday night’s band was a Bruce Springsteen tribute band and they closed out the rally in style. Sunday morning was a slightly slower pace as we had breakfast outside in the sunshine and aired our tents ready for packing away and the journey home.

This ended four great days of riding, laughing, chatting and drinking all of which stayed warm and dry. The Lake District with no rain - who'd have thought it? Well done Red Rose Chapter, we cant wait for Wake The Lakes 2016 Doughnut.

21

Seven of us met up for the ride to Nottingham, to join the Sherwood Chapter for the opening party of their new, Robin Hood dealership. After a fabulous, 150 mile ride on a very hot day we arrived there for lunch. A BBQ of hog roast and thick, meaty burgers with all the trimmings was provided. Hundreds of bikes and what seemed like thousands of people had turned out to celebrate this opening. Live bands, free raffle, well-stocked shop and special offers added to the fun. Mike and Tanya had made their own way there and we were all very impressed with this new dealership - well worth a visit. After the obligatory ice-creams, we started on the 150 miles home. We stopped at a lovely pub for cool drinks and snacks and, like the group who went to Chiltern College, had children sit on our bikes for photos! Twelve hours and 300 miles later we were home again - a really great day out!

22

BURLEY

Sixteen bikes and nine pillions met at Chieveley Services for the ride to Burley, in the New Forest. A good route planned, and led by Fred was enjoyed by all. There was a good selection of craft and souvenir shops in the town but most of the 25 people found one of the many pubs or eat-ing places to lunch and chat in the sunshine. Some went on to the Southampton dealership before their journey home.

Ben Elgar

Thames Valley would like to extend a very warm welcome to our new

members:

We hope you all have a great time In our friendly club!

David Luckhurst

Mustaq Ulde

23

Take a good look at this front entrance to the Lincoln H-D, because by the 12th July it will be gone, replaced by a sign that will say JEEP. Six bikes and 1 pillion made the ride to Lincoln. A disappointing turn out for a World Ride Day. The disappointment continued when we got to the dealership, you could count the clothing merchandise on one hand, almost! But at least we got a few miles under our belts, 332 miles after a very nice ride home.

The 1st ever Reading Bike night was amazing! Lots of bikes, Harleys and many other makes were represented. The singing duo were very good, too. The weather was glorious so the good turnout was expected, in spite of it being Harley night at the Ace Café. Roll on, the next one! Linda

Chiltern College

The family day at the Chiltern College was a great success, with 34 children sitting on bikes, waiting for their photos to be taken.

After very nice hot dogs and drinks at Chris & Janet Smiths, a group of us escorted 2 young ladies, Kirsten and Matisse, to their Prom Night at Windsor Racecourse. We picked a few more bikes at SportsAble, and as they were going to the Hogsback chapter meeting in Bisley, we combined the two. Kirsten & Matisse won best entrance -Thames Valley Massive strikes again!

Linda Friend

26

Linda Friend

nickwest@chilternelectrical.com

A man walking along a beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden, he said out loud, "Lord, grant me one wish." The sunny California sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice, and the Lord said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish." The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want." The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous

challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take over thousands of miles! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honour and glorify me." The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know

how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say

" nothing!", and how I can make a woman truly happy." The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four lanes on that bridge?

An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting." Wearily, he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kiss me." Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep. Thirty seconds later she said: "Then you used to bite my Neck." Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed. "Where are you going?" she asked. "To get my teeth!"

Pat Adams Asst. Director

PRIMARY OFFICERS

Nick West Asst. Director

youtube.com/user/ tvwebmaster1

Club Venue:

Grenadier Guards’ Club Maidenhead Road Windsor, Berks. SL4 5EY

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Colin Wilkins Treasurer

Sue Moyler Secretary

COMMITTEE

Third Thursday of every month

Don Wibberley DIRECTOR

Email: director(assistantdirector)@thamesvalleyhog.org.uk

Email: treasurer/secretary@thamesvalleyhog.org.uk

Sue Dodds Ladies of Harley

Sue Knight Editor

Lee White Webmaster

Barry Adams Activities

Email any committee member at (position held)@thamesvalleyhog.org.uk

Chris Earley- ‘CJ’

Photographer Toni Charles

Activities Linda Friend Photographer

Chris Smith Membership