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Thankyouforauditioningfor
SOMETHINGROTTEN
NON-UNIONNATIONALTOUR
ROLE:BEA
Presentintheroomforprescreens/appointments/callbackswillbevariouscombinationsofdirector,musicsupervisor,choreographer&casting.Producing
teamwillalsobepresentatcallbacks.
Fortheinitialcall,pleaseprepareacontemporarycomedicmusicaltheatresonginthestyleoftheshow(orfromtheshow),andSIDE1.
Ifyouarecalledback,pleasepreparetheentirepacket.
INSTRUCTIONS:Besuretobringyourpictureandresume,otherwisewewillnothaveoneintheroom!
Thankssomuch!W|SCasting
SCENE 4: NICK AND BEA’S HOUSE
Nick enters. Nigel is at the table eating a bowl of soup. BEA is at the cast iron kettle over the fire.
NICKHello, darling. How was your day?
They kiss.
BEAInteresting. I went to the stocks and watched the mob throw cabbages at the criminals.
NICKWhat d’you do that for?? You hate all that!
BEAI know, it was awful.
(handing him bowl)Boiled cabbage?
NICKAh. I see.
NIGELI think it’s delicious.
BEAAw, thanks Nige. There would’ve been meat, but the landlord came by demanding the rent -- took our last shilling right out of my hand. Then I was gonna surprise you with some mutton - but sheep are fast.
NICKWait, wh-- you chased a SHEEP? Alright, that’s it.
He pushes away from the table and heads for a LOCKED BOX on the mantle.
BEAWhat are you doing?
NICKI’m just...
He grabs the money box. She quickly takes it away.
6/21/15 15-16.BEA Side 1 of 1SOMETHING ROTTEN
START:
1/6
BEANo! We’ve been through this, we do not touch the money box!
She puts it back.
NICKCome on, Bea... we shouldn’t have to live like this. You deserve better.
BEAAnd so do you - we all do, and that’s what we’re saving for. A better life. A simple cottage in the country, for all of us. You, me, a couple of kids...
(taking money back, passing Nigel)...a room for Nigel and maybe his wife one day?...
NIGEL(embarrassed)
Oh, stop it..
BEANow, I know it’s been a while since we’ve put any money in there, and that’s why I was thinking - I should get a job.
NICKWhat? No, if you get a job, that will just make me feel like a failure. None of the other writers’ wives have jobs.
BEAWell, they should. This is the nineties! We’ve got a woman on the throne and by the year 1600, women will be completely equal to men. Ooh! I just thought of the perfect job for me. I could be in your play!
NICKWhat?? You can’t act.
She BURST INTO TEARS, covers her face with her hands.
NICKSorry, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.
BEAGotcha. See I can act.
NICKYou know it’s forbidden to put women on stage.
NIGELAnd anyway, our play’s been cancelled.
BEAWhat?
6/21/15 17.SOMETHING ROTTEN
2/6
*************STOP HERE FOR INITIAL APPOINTMENT*************
NICKNot cancelled, Nige. That’s such a negative way to put it.
(firing him a look)I mean, yes, we are no longer doing Richard the Second but only because we’ve come up with... a better idea!
BEAOooh, what is it?
NICKCan’t say. Don’t want to jinx it.
BEASo... there is no idea.
NICKWell, we’ve had the idea that we need an idea.
BEAThen let me help you! I’ll go out and earn some money and that’ll take the pressure off you guys.
NICKBea, listen...
BEANo, you listen. Cause I just want to make things better and I need to know that you understand...
(sings)IF YOU EVER GOT IN TROUBLEI WOULD BE THERE ON THE DOUBLEJUST TO BAIL YOU OUTIF THERE’S ANYTHING YOU LACKYOU KNOW I’VE ALWAYS GOT YOUR BACKTHAT’S WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT
THINK OF ME AS YOUR SIDEKICKHELPING YOU WHENEVER I CANI’M MORE THAN JUST A WOMAN, BABYWHEN THE PRESSURE’S COMIN’, BABY LET ME BE YOUR RIGHT HAND MAN
6/21/15 17A.SOMETHING ROTTEN
3/6
NICKBut you’re not a man. I’m the man.
BEAUggggh! (to Nigel) He’s not hearing me.
(back to Nick)IF YOU’RE EVER IN A PICKLEYOU CAN CALL FOR ME AND QUICK’LLBE HOW FAST I RUN
NICKBut... I’m not in a pickle.
BEAYOU AND ME SHOULD BE A TEAMFOR ANY DREAM OR ANY SCHEMETHAT’S HOW IT SHOULD BE DONE
SURE, I COULD STAY IN THE BACKGROUNDJUST SMILING EVERY NOW AND AGAINBUT JUST TO BE A PRETTY LADYTHAT WOULD BE A PITY, BABYLET ME BE YOUR RIGHT HAND MAN
NIGELYou should probably listen. She’s usually right.
NICKEat your cabbage.
She steps in front of Nick. He tries to protest, she keeps interrupting his attempts.
BEAI AM STRONGER THAN YOU THINKDON’T BE THINKIN’ I AIN’T TOUGH I AM WHERE YOU OUGHTA GOWHEN THE GOING’S GETTIN’ ROUGHSO WHEN THINGS ARE GOING BADLY...
NICKBUT THEY’RE NOT
NIGELTHEY KIND OF ARE
NICK(trying to silence Nigel)
NO, THINGS ARE FINE
6/21/15 18.SOMETHING ROTTEN
4/6
BEABUT IF THEY WEREN’T
NICKBUT IT’S OKAY
BEALUV.
NICKWHAT?
BEAMMMM.
NICKWHAT??
BEAQuit trying to protect me!
NICKCan we change the subject please?
BEANot until I know that...IF YOU’RE EVER IN A FIX AND IT’S A FIX YOU NEED TO NIXTHEN I’M YOUR GO TO GUY
NICKYOU’RE NOT A GUY
BEADON’T BE SO LITERAL...AND DON’T FORGET I’M NOT A SHRINKING VIOLETA SOLID ROCK AM I
SO DON’T BE THINKING I’LL CRUMBLE WHEN THE YOU-KNOW-WHAT HITS THE FAN
Nick tries to speak. She puts a silencing finger to his lips.
BEA (CONT’D)THERE’S NO PROBLEM THAT’S TOO BIGWHEN YOU’RE MARRIED, THAT’S THE GIGSO DON’T BE A SEXIST PIG!
6/21/15 19.
(MORE)
SOMETHING ROTTEN
5/6
IS IT ASKING TOO MUCH OF YOU?IT’S ONLY ‘CAUSE I LOVE YOULET ME BE YOUR RIGHTIN FACT I’LL SHOW YOU THAT I’M RIGHT...
She puts a coat and a hat on and grabs a bow and arrow
NICKWhat are you doing now?
BEAI’m gonna get you boys some MEAT!
(singing)BABY I’M YOUR RIGHTDON’T PUT UP A FIGHTI CAN BE YOUR RIGHTSTARTING HERE TONIGHTLET ME BE YOUR RIGHT HAND MANLET ME BE YOUR RIGHT HAND -- MAN
She slams the door and is gone.
NICKWhat just happened?
NIGELOh, I’d love to have someone like that. It’s sweet.
6/21/15 20.
BEA (CONT’D)
SOMETHING ROTTEN
6/6
END
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1 ∑
jœœ‰ ‰ jœœ
Œ jœœ‰
jœ ‰ ‰ jœŒ jœ ‰
BEA: No, you listen. Cause I keep telling you and telling you but you just don't seem to get it.
BEA: I'll go out and earn some money and that'll take the pressure off you guys.NICK: Bea, listen... [GO]
Driving 4 q=154
p
2 ∑
‰ jœœŒ œœ ‰ œœ
‰
‰ jœ Œ œ ‰ œ ‰
3 ∑
jœœ‰ ‰ jœœ
Œ jœœ‰
jœ ‰ ‰ jœn Œ jœ ‰p
4 Ó Œ œ œIf you
‰ œœœ> ‰ œœœ> jœœœ> ‰ Œ
‰ œ> ‰ œ>jœœ>‰ Œ
BEA:
f
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5 œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œe ver got in trou ble I would
jœœœ‰ ‰ jœœœn Œ jœœœb
‰jœœ ‰ ‰ jœœ
Œ jœ ‰F
6
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œbe there on the dou ble, just to
‰ jœœœŒ œœœ ‰ œœœ
‰
‰ jœ Œ œ ‰ œ ‰
7 jœ œ jœ ˙bail you out
jœœœ‰ ‰ jœœœn Œ jœœ
‰jœœ ‰ ‰ jœœnn Œ jœœ ‰
8 Ó Œ œ œIf there's
‰ œœœ>‰ œœœ>
jœœœ>‰ Œ
‰ œ> ‰ œ>jœœ>‰ Œ
f
- - -
Right Hand ManApril 6, '15
#4"Something Rotten"
Words & Music byWayne Kirkpatrick &Karey Kirkpatrick
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9 œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œa ny thing you lack you know I've
jœœœ‰ ‰ jœœœn Œ jœœ
‰jœœ ‰ ‰ jœœ
Œ jœ ‰F
BEA:10
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œal ways got your back that's what it's
‰ jœœŒ œœ ‰ œœ
‰
‰ jœ Œ œ ‰ œ ‰
11 jœ œjœ œ œ œ œ
all a bout
jœœœ‰‰ jœœœn Œ jœœ
‰jœœ ‰‰
jœœŒ jœ ‰
12
.˙ Œ
‰ œœœ> ‰ œœœ> œœœ> ‰ œœœ ‰
‰ œ> ‰ œ> œœ>‰ œœ
‰f
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13 Œ œ∫ œ œ œb œThink of me as your
œœ∫ . œœ. œœ. œœ. œœ. œœ. œœ. œœ.jœ ‰ Œ Ó
F
14 .œ jœ œ Œside kick,
œœ. œœ. œœ. œœœn . œœœ. œœœ. œœœ. œœœ.œ ‰ ‰ œ Ó
15 œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œHelp ing you when e ver I can
œœœA . œœœ. œœœ. œœœ. œœœ. œœœ. œœœ. œœœ.jœ ‰ Œ Ó
16
.˙ ‰ jœI'm
‰ œœœ∫>‰ œœœ>
jœœœ>‰ Œ
‰ œ> ‰ œ> œ> ‰ œœ‰
f
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17œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œmore than just a wo man, ba by
jœœœ ‰ ‰ jœœœ Œ jœœœ ‰
jœ ‰ ‰ jœb Œ jœ‰
p
18
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œWhen the pres sure's co min' ba by
‰ jœœœn Œ jœœœœ ‰ jœœœbnn‰
‰ jœŒ jœ ‰ jœb ‰
19
œ œ œ œ œ œ œLet me be your right hand
jœœœ‰ ‰ jœœœ
Œ jœœœ‰
jœ ‰ ‰ jœœŒ jœœ
‰
- - - --
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œ Œ Óman
œœœ œ œœœ œœœ œ œœœ
œœ‰ ‰ œœ
Œ jœœ‰
NICK: But you're not a man... I'm the man. BEA: Uggggh! He's not hearing me.
p (under dialogue)f
21 ∑
‰ ...œœœ œœœ‰ œ jœ œ œ
22 ∑
œœœ œ œœœ œœœ œ œœœ
œœ‰ ‰ œœ
Œ jœœ‰
23Ó Œ œ œIf you're
‰ œœœ> œœœ> œœ> Jœœœ> ‰ Œ
‰ œ> œ> œ>jœ> ‰ Œ
BEA:
f
-2- #4-Right Hand Man04-06-15
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24œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œe ver in a pic kle, you can
jœœœ>‰ jœ
jœœœn ‰ jœ jœœœb>‰
jœœ>‰ ‰ jœœ
Œ jœ>‰
F
BEA:25
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œcall for me and quick 'll be how
œ œœœ>‰ jœ œœœ>
‰ œœœ>‰
‰ jœ> Œ œ> ‰ œ> ‰
NICK: But... I’m not in a pickle.26 jœ œ jœ ˙fast I run
jœœœ>‰ jœ
jœœœn>‰ jœ jœœ>
‰jœœ>‰ ‰ jœœ>
Œ jœ>‰
27Ó Œ œ œYou and
‰ œœœ>‰ œœœ>
jœœœ>‰ Œ
‰ œ> ‰ œ> œœ>‰ œœ
‰
- - -
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28œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œme should be a team for an y
jœœœ>‰ jœ
jœœœn>‰ jœ jœœœb>
‰jœœ>‰ ‰ jœœ>
Œ jœ>‰
29
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œdream or an y schemethat's how it
œ œœœ>‰ jœ œœœ>
‰ œœœ>‰
‰ jœ> Œ œ> ‰ œ> ‰
30 jœ œ jœ œ œœ œshould be done
jœœœ>‰ jœ
jœœœn>‰ jœ jœœ>
‰jœœ>‰ ‰ jœœ>
Œ jœ>‰
31
.˙ Œ
‰ œœœ>‰ œœœ>
jœœœ>‰ œœ œœ
‰ œ> ‰ œ>jœœ>‰ œœ
--
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32 œ∫ œ œ œ œb œSure, I could stay in the
œœ∫>. œœå . œœ. œœ. œœ. œœ. œœ. œœ.jœœ>.‰ Œ Ó
33 .œ jœ œ ‰ jœback ground just
œœ. œœ. œœ. œœœn . œœœ. œœœ. œœœ. œœœ.œ. ‰ ‰ œ. Ó
34 œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œsmi ling ev 'ry now and a gain
œœœA . œœœ. œœœ. œœœ. œœœ. œœœ. œœœ. œœœ.jœ. ‰ Œ Ó
- - - -
-3- #4-Right Hand Man04-06-15
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35
.˙ ‰ jœBut
‰ œœœ∫ ‰ œœœ jœœœ‰ Œ
NICK: And it's a lovely smile.
‰ œ ‰ œ œ ‰ œœ‰
36œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œjust to be a pret ty la dy
jœœœ ‰ jœjœœœ ‰ jœ jœœœ ‰
jœ ‰ ‰ jœb Œ jœ‰
37
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œthat would be a pi ty ba by
œ œœœn ‰ jœ œœœœ ‰ œœœbnb‰
‰ jœŒ jœ ‰ jœb ‰
- - - -
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œ œ œ œ œ œ œLet me be your right hand
jœœœ‰ ‰ jœœœ
Œ jœœœ‰
jœ ‰ ‰ jœœŒ jœœ
‰
39
œ Œ Óman
œœœ œ œœœ œœœ œ œœœ
NIGEL: You should probably listen. She's usually right. NICK: Eat your cabbage.
œœ‰‰ œœ
Œ jœœ‰
f p
40 ∑
‰ ...œœœ œœœ‰ œ jœ œ œ
41 ∑
œœœ œ œœœ œœœ œ œœœ
œœ‰ ‰ œœ
Œ jœœ‰
f
42‰ œ jœ œ œ œ œI am strong er than youjœœœ> ‰Œ Ó
jœœ>‰Œ Ó
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43 jœ œ jœ œ œ œ œthink Don't be think in' I ain't
œœœ. ‰ ‰ œœœ. Œ Jœœœ. ‰
œ. Œ Ó
BEA:
F
44 jœ œ jœ œ œ œ œtough I am where you ough taœœœ. ‰ ‰ œœœ. Œ J
œœœ. ‰
œ. Œ Ó
45 jœ œ jœ œ œ œ œgo when the go in's get tin'
œœœ. ‰ ‰ œœœ. Œ Jœœœ. ‰
œ. Œ Ó
46
œ ‰ jœ jœ œ jœrough So when thingsœœœ. ‰ ‰ œœœ. Œ J
œœœ. ‰
œ. Œ Ó
- - - -
-4- #4-Right Hand Man04-06-15
CUT
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47
œ œn œ œ œ œ Œare go ing bad ly
Ó Œ ‰ œ œBut they're
œœœn . ‰ ‰ œœœ. Ó
œ. ‰ ‰ œ. Œ jœ>‰
NICK:
48 Œ # œ œ œ œ ŒThey kind of are
œ Œ Œ # œ œ œnot No, things are
œœœn . ‰ ‰ œœœ. Ó
œ. ‰ ‰ œ. Œ jœ>‰
NIGEL:
- -
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49 Œ # œ œ œ œ ŒBut if they weren't
œ Œ Œ # œ œ œfine But it's o
œœœn . ‰ ‰ œœœ. Ó
œ. ‰ ‰ œ. Œ jœ>‰
BEA: 50 Œ ¿ Œ ¿Luv Mmm
œ Œ ¿ Œkay What?
jœœœn>‰ Œ jœœœ>
‰ Œ
jœ>‰ Œ jœ>
‰ Œ
51 ∑
¿ Œ ÓWhat!!
jœœœ>‰ Œ Ó
jœ> ‰ Œ Ó
BEA: Quit trying to protect me!
-
-5- #4-Right Hand Man04-06-15
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52 ∑
Œ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿Can we change the sub ject
...œœœ> ...œœœ> œœœ>..œœ>
..œœ>œœ>
NICK:
cresc.p
53 ∑
¿ Œ Óplease?
...œœœ> ...œœœ> œœœ>..œœ>
..œœ>œœ>
54 ¿n ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ œn œ# œNot un til I know that if you're
∑
....œœœœnnnn >....œœœœ>
œœœœ#>..œœnn>
..œœnn>œœ##>
BEA:
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55œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œe ver in a fix, and it's a
∑
jœœœ>‰ Œ jœœœ#>
‰ Œ
jœ>‰ Œ jœ>
‰ Œf
56
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œfix you need to nix then I'm your
∑
jœœœœ>‰ Œ jœœœ>
‰ Œ
jœ>‰ Œ jœ>
‰ Œ
57 jœ œ jœ œ Œ"go to guy"
Ó ‰ œ œ œYou're not a
œœ ‰ ‰ œœ‰ œ œ œ
œ ‰ ‰ œ# Œ jœ ‰
NICK:
58‰ jœ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œQuit be ing so lit er al. Ba
œ Œ Óguy
jœœœ>‰ Œ Ó
jœ>‰ Œ Œ œœ>
- - - - - --
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59œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œby don't for get I'm not a
jœœœ‰ ‰ jœœœ# Œ jœœœn
‰jœœ ‰ ‰ jœœ
Œ jœ ‰
60
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œshrink ing vi o let, a so lid
‰ jœœœŒ œœœ ‰ œœœ
‰
‰ jœ Œ œ ‰ œ ‰
61 jœ œ jœ œ œ œ œrock am I.
jœœœ‰ ‰ jœœœ# Œ jœœ
‰jœœ ‰ ‰ jœœ## Œ jœœ ‰
-- - - --
-6- #4-Right Hand Man04-06-15
CONTINUE
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62
.˙ Œ
‰ œœœ> ‰ œœœ> jœœœ> ‰ œ œ œ œ
‰ œ> ‰ œ> œœ>‰ œœ
‰
BEA:
63 ‰ œb œ œ œ œn œ œSo don't be think ing I'll crum
œœb> œœb . œœ. œœ. œœ. œœ. œœ. œœ.jœ> ‰ Œ Ó
64 .œ jœ œ Œble
œœ. œœ. œœ. œœœ# . œœœ. œœœ. œœœ. œœœ.œ. ‰ ‰ œ. Ó
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65 œ œ œ œ œ œ œ3
When the you know what hits the
œœœN . œœœ. œœœ. œœœ. œœœ. œœœ. œœœ. œœœ.jœ ‰ Œ Ó
66 wfan
œœœb . œœœ. œœœ. œœœ. œœœ. œœœ. œœœ. œœœ.
œœ‰ ‰ œœ
Œ jœœbb‰
67 .˙ Œ
‰ œœœ- œœœ- œœœ- ˙˙˙U
‰ œ- œ- œ- ˙Up
poco rit.
68Œ œ œThere's no
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-7- #4-Right Hand Man04-06-15
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69œ œ œ œ œ œ œprob lem that's too big When you're
˙̇̇ ˙̇̇n˙ ˙n
colla voce
Freely
p
70
œ œ œ œ œ œ œmar ried that's the gig so don't
˙̇̇# œœœœ œœœn#n
˙ œ œn
71
œ œ œ œ ˙be a sex ist pig
˙˙˙̇̇#
˙̇ ˙̇
72 Ó Œ œ œIs it
œœœ# ‰ ‰ œœœŒ jœœœ
‰œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ..œœ>
..œœ>œœ##>
A Tempo
f
- - -
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73œ œ œ œ Jœ œ Jœas king too much of you it's
œœœœ> ‰ ‰ œœœœ> Ó
œ> ‰ ‰ œ> Œ jœœ>‰
A TempoBEA:
74œ œ œ œ Jœ .œon ly 'cause I love you
œœœœ> ‰ ‰ œœœœ#>Ó
œ>‰ ‰ œ> Œ jœ> ‰
75
œ œ œ œ ˙Let me be your right
Óœ œ œ œœœ ‰ ‰ œ Œ Jœœ ‰
œœœ ‰ ‰ œœœ Œ jœœœ ‰
76˙ ‰ œ œ œIn fact I'll
w‰ œ ‰ œ œ ‰ œ ‰‰ œœœ ‰ œœœ œœœ ‰ œœœ ‰
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.. ..77
œ œn œ œb ˙show you that I'm rightÓ
œ œn œ œbœœb ‰ ‰ œ Œ Jœ ‰œœœn ‰ ‰ œœœ Œ jœœœ ‰
78 .˙ Œ
w‰ œn ‰ œ œ œ œ œ ?
‰ jœœœn Œ œœœ ‰ œœœ ‰
79 ∑NICK: What are you doing now?BEA: I'm gonna get you boys some MEAT!
œœœœ ‰ ‰ œœœœ Œ Jœœœœ ‰
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-8- #4-Right Hand Man04-06-15
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-9- #4-Right Hand Man04-06-15
