The Man Who Can’t Be Moved - by Blake McGinnis

7/29/2019 The Man Who Cant Be Moved - by Blake McGinnis

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The Man Who Cant Be Moved

By

Blake McGinnis

Noise.

There were indistinguishable noises pounding in Evans head. His thoughts hurt. The noises wereloud. The noises were quiet. They were sharp. They were muffled. All the noises around Evan were all at

once, but not together in any synchronization. He did not know where he was, what time it was, what day

it was, or why he was in this blurred darkness.

Shadows and streamed distorted light were his only sight. Amongst the chaotic sensory clutter the

noise could become sounds

Get him up

Watch his head nk, hand me that towelShadows formed faceless figures in green clothes then became shadows again.

Boy, thats a lot of blood

hold clamp. Gauss

Sometimes, only a heartbeat was the sound above a hushed conversation.and there is a chance he will experience long term memory loss. But in all honesty, he could

lose all major brain function Gasped cries echoed. We are shooting for the best

Abeam of bright light burned Evans retinas. The sliver of infinitely white light expanded between

his eyelids as he opened them. Once his pupils adjusted their contraction to the new levels of light, his

vision corrected the brightness into a blurry haze of foreground and background. Slowly leaning forward

in the bed of scratchy linens, his vision came into clear focus. Evan found himself sitting in a hospital bed

alone in a private patients room. As quickly as his surroundings became apparent to him, so did an

aching pain throughout the majority of his head. To his left were a glass panel wall and the entry door.

Through the glass wall, Evan made quick eye contact with a receptionist sitting behind a central desk of

the outside hall. She fumbled her hands around the phone she held against her ear then called out aroundthe hallway corner closest to Evans room.

The entry door swung open wildly, admitting two nurses and a middle age couple Evan recognized

as his parents. His mother, a round woman with curly, brown hair, shuffled away from the group to

quickly meet Evan kneeling at his bedside.

Oh honey said Evans mom, gently caressing his forehead. Her expression was strained withhappiness overshadowed by worry and empathetic pain.

Well, spoke Evans dad bluntly as he stood near the foot of the bed overlooking Evan, a foolishdecision finally caught up with you. He crossed his arms and leaned on one leg with an expression of

relaxed disapproval.

Evans head was spinning. It seemed that the room was moving far faster than it should. From the

expression on his mothers face, Evan confirmed she could see his loose grip on the moment.Oh he doesnt know said Evans mother in almost a whisper, bringing her hand up to her

mouth. She rocked her weight to stand quickly and shot her husband a piercing glare. Carl She looked

back to Evan and re-sweetened her expression. Honey, she whispered in his ear, you were in anaccident. Evans heart pounded twice with an abnormal strength as anxiety began to flush through his

body. You were on your bike a bit south of your town and you were hit from behind by a car. Evanseyes grew and his breaths quickened. He leaned further, over his knees, and tried to steady his thoughts

as his head continued to swirl. Now honey, comforted Evans mother while she placed a soft hand on his

chest to lay him backon his bed, you are okay. You hurt your head pretty bad, but you are doing just


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fine. A loving smile developed across Evans mothers face. Her personal calm reflected onto Evan and

his body began to settle.

Do we know who hit me? Evan asked quietly, surprised by how weak he was.

Yes, answered Evans mother, he is actually just outside. Evans mother pointed outside theglass wall at a very anxious man standing at the center counter of the hallway visibly prodding the

attending nurse with questions. His un-tucked collared shirt was open to the third line of buttons at thetop where his loosened tie held the sides together as it swung around his neck. The man glanced in the

direction of Evans room and saw the hand pointed at him from Evans Mother. His face exploded with

surprise and he sprinted toward Evans door, nearly breaking it down as he came inside. The man trippedover his own feetin step to Evans bedside at the shoulder of Evans mother.

Evan, said the man out of breath, my name is Frank Snyder. The man was middle aged and bald

on top. In conjunction with his staggered breathing, he gave a very apparent sight of nervousness when

he spoke. I want to apologize as much as I can and tell you how happy I am that you are ok.His cars cruise control malfunctioned a few miles before he hit you. addedEvans mother.

Yes sir. clarified Mr. Snyder with aggressive head nods.As I came onto 310 I set it at 45 going

around the turn from Bennette

Evans fogged attention to Mr. Snyders recalling of events was caught by the mentioning of theroad names.

Why was I on 310? interrupted Evan. Mr. Snyder stopped in mid word with a small jolt of

surprise and confusion. He looked around the room at the others appearing very put-on-the-stop and

scared. I I dont know.

Evans mother leaned closer and spoke with question in her voice. You were just riding yourbike. Evan hesitated to respond.

But, why? Who was I with? Ive never gone on a trip to ride away from home before.

Evans mother and father looked at one another and blinked with concern.

You were around your home, said Evans mother slowly and clearly.Evan was confused. His face tightened with confusion and forced thought. Did he not live with his

parents?Evans mothers eyes widened. She spoke again, slower and pressing concern, What year do you

think it is?

Evan didnt know.The room hushed in a single breath.

Inside a small lounge room behind a closed door, Evan sat next to his pale-faced parents. Evansfather sat up straight, his face solid as stone and emotionless. Evans mothers eyes sat back in theirsockets embroidered with red puffy skin. Her expression was painfully void and her lips trembled. Evan

was out of body. He leaned low over his bent knees. His eyes drifted away as if not his own to control. The

three of them sat across from a middle-aged doctor wearing a sport coat. His elbows were on his knees as

he spoke and motioned explanations with is hands.

as we can tell from the scans and all of our questioning, it seems Evan has in fact suffered aselective form of long-term memory loss. Evans parents silence deepened. With rough estimates, wehave determined he has fallen about 4 years behind in his current memory. His mother swayed in her

seat. What we do know is thatin these types of injuries, the damage is actually very rarely everpermanent. Specific sights, sounds, smells, or possibly senses of touch could jog his memory. Things lost

or fragmented to him now could be brought back in an instant. Though, it does take time. The doctortook a quiet long breath, looking side to side at each of Evans parents, assessing their reactions thus far.

I am sorry I cant give you an equated timeline of when or how his memory may come back to him. Im


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afraid I am at a loss at even a reliable guess. But, there are very few absolutes in these matters. We can

only wait.The car ride home was a quiet one. Evans father sat in the front passenger seat with his arms

crossed, stone faced. Evans mother drove after a briefargument with his father for the keys. Her eyeswere much less red but just as sunken as before. She drove calmly and overly precise. Evan knew she

wanted to use the car drive as a distraction from her emotions as she had in years before. Evan rested hishead against the rear passenger side window, looking out over the roads he passed. He had so many

questions. He had no idea where to begin.

The next morning, Evan awoke from a short vivid dream. He was atop his bed inside his parents

home but it felt in somehow foreign. This was no longer his bed. Ahead of him, while lying on his side,

was his nightstand. Atop it, the alarm clock his father had always demanded he used instead of his cell-

phone glowed red numbers. He wondered how long it had been placed there. He rolled onto his back and

looked above. A familiar bikini poster was still pinned into his ceiling.

As he rose from his bed, his entire room came into view. On initial glace, all seemed in place. But

then he began to notice the differences. All his belongings were put away or folded neatly atop his dresser

and desk chair. Catching his eyes the most was the absence of clothing on his floor. Shocking him furtherwas the sight of his floor having been vacuumed.

He rolled his legs off the side of the bed to stand and rub his eyes. Moving his body to stand made

his head and insides sway. A small sensation of nausea awoke him further and an aching, stinging pain

ran beneath the bandage wraps still around the crown of his head. He walked across his room to his

dresser. He pulled open the top drawer and, expecting to see its contents a wad of unarranged socks, he

found it empty. He opened every drawer that slid apart from the dresser. Two folded t-shirts and an

undersized pair of socks were all that were left inside the bottom drawer.

Finally settling with his surroundings, his memory began to rearrange its self. Evan saw his

belongings where they were as where he left them. He remembered packing all he treasured and needed

after his tireless searching online for living spaces near the farthest campus of his university while sitting

on top his bed. He remembered leaving that room for another far away, away from his father. Heremembered the last fight he had with his father and all the coarse words against his goals to work

outside of his fathers chosen path in real estate. He remembered the continued argument of how his

pursued career was foolish and a childs dream he was not letting go.Evan stepped over to his closet and opened its folding door. Inside, it too was nearly completely

empty. Old winter coats, never worn sweaters, and previously used sports jerseys hung in the far back. To

his left in the front on a small metal rack, a handful of outfits laid folded and neatly stacked. These had

been set aside by Evan himself long ago to be reserved for play or outdoor work. Not for any particular

style, Evan clothed himself for comfort.

Evan stepping down a narrow staircase that led to the living room. Almost everything was in its

place as Evan saw it from his fractured memory. All the same pictures were in the same frames and all the

same furniture rested in the same place. Only a few potted plants and folded blankets in a guest chairlooked out of place. Beside the television, his father sat in the same chair he always had each morning

Evan could remember. It was a large dark green recliner with scuffs and tears over each seam and side.

From its extensive wear and how it fit around Evans father as he sat, it looked far more comfortable thanit initially appeared. Evan stood at the base of the stairs over looking the living room, waiting for a

gesture or verbalization from his father to enter his fathers domain.Evans father made no motion orsound in response to Evan entering the room. He only continued to read from the newspaper in his hands

and sip from the glass of orange juice that rested on a small stand next to his chair.


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In slow, sluggish steps, Evan made his way across the living room and dropped onto the center of

the couch. He sunk into the couch and faced the powered off television. He stared at his reflection in the

convex glass. Still slightly tired, his mind did not race as it did the day before. His major thoughts were

settled more on how he should cure his hunger.

As if on cue, his mother hopped out of the kitchen, looking much better than the day before. I

have breakfast ready, Carl. Do you mind?Evans mother caught her breath in pleasant surprise to seeEvan sitting there in the living room. Oh, good morning honey, she said in a very warm motherly way.

Come on in, she said with a wave. Eat something.

Evan sat across from his father at the small kitchen table. His mother was on his left. The kitchen

was very quiet except for the scratches of forks and knives againstplates while they all ate. Evans mother

tried to begin small talk repeatedly amongst the family, mentioning how her and her friends were

enjoying their current romance novel of the month, and how Evans sister Kristen wasnt able to fly home

from her school in Britain to see Evan, but all attempts ended in either nods or grunts of

acknowledgement. Nearing the end of the meal, Evan broke the silence.

So how much do I owe you guys for the hospital stuff?

Evans father lifted his head and began to grumble a list when Evans mother blurted, No! No.

Evan, we are taking care of it all.You can thank insurance for that, said Evans father still looking at his plate as he ate.

Mr. Snyder, Continued Evans mother, do you remember him?

Yeah, replied Evan under heavy eyelids.

His insurance company overlapped with ours but covered a lot of the expenses and he even asked

if he could cover the gap amounts. He really feels bad for happened, honey.He also feels pretty lucky with the lawsuit he is going to win againstthat car manufacture. Evans

father raised his head from his finished plate and met his eyes with the center of conversation.

Well, that may be true, answered Evans mother to his father with a displeased expression, but

he is still coming across as a very compassionate man. I think you should write him a thank you note. Shedabbed a napkin to her mouth and placed it back down onto the table. Oh, he also did a great deal at the

accident is what I heard from the nurses. They said the EMTs had nothing but help from him and think hemight have saved your life with how fast he acted. Evans father looked to be paying no attention and

care very little as he rubbed underneath one eye. He was holding your head when the paramedics

arrived.Evan lightly smiled and nodded in agreement and appreciation as he picked at his food.

Besides, added Evans father, you need to worry more about three and a half years of collegemoney going down the drain.

Evans smile disappeared from his face. His mother dropped her hands on the table on either side

of her plate. The crash rattled all the tableware nearly causing the centerpiece vase to fall.

Well, his own moneyreally isnt your concern is it, Carl? Snapped Evans mother in his fathersdirection. Evans father raised an eyebrow and leaned his head back as if to endure her words. He is

going to be just fine. Evans mother looked to Evan.Today, before we go by your house, Evans motherdirected to him, rubbing his arm with her hand and then looking back to her husband, we are going totake him by the main campus so I can help him get approved for academic leave, at least for the

semester.

Evan rolled up his sleeves walking up the front granite steps to his colleges main halls. His motherwalked briskly ahead of him. His father waited in a coffee lounge near where they parked. The little walk

was nice. Though the sun was warm enough to prompt a sweat, a cool breeze evened the temperature.


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Students walking all around sported trendy clothing or sports wear. The familiar front courtyard held

groups of students eating in picnics and hosting Frisbee games.

Like an epiphany, his memory was slapped inside his mind and in front of his eyes. He only

remembered being on this school campus a handful of times before, but he remembered.Hey mom, said Evan calmly with a little up beat inflection, I am getting some memory back.

Really? questioned Evans mother. She turned around in a single hop. What did you remember?The school, all of it. Evan scratched his head in thought and smiled bigger. Well, at leastall the

parts Ive been to. Evans mothers eyes lit up and an open mouth smile streaked across her face. Iremember orientation where we did our tour oh, and a few weeks ago. I had to sign off on somefinancial aid type-o.

Evans mother leaped off the step she stood, down into a strangling embrace of her arms around

Evans face. Thats fantastic, she squealed. Did it happen all of a sudden?

As Evans mother loosened her grip around his body and he regained the full ability to breath, hereplied, Yeah, but I think its triggered mostly by sight. Like, if I looked at something I forgot I get these

flashback things. The same thing happened this morning when I got up.

Evans mother released Evan and stood beside him on the same step.

What did you remember this morning?Evan took a deep breath. That I had moved, decided to go to school out of the west campus, dad

him and the day I left.

Evans mothers great smile dropped to half its strength. She then only showed a portion of the

happiness she held before. Well, you dont need to focus on any of that. She patted Evan on the back and

began to walk him up the stairs once again.

Mom, asked Evan, I did remember, or think, about something else.

Hmm?

There was this girl. Evans mother stopped and her eyes widened in surprise. A curious smirk

appeared as she turned back to Evan. I think I dreamt it or maybe thought of her just as I woke up. Shehad wavy brown or dark blond hair, about yay length, Evan flattened his hand just above his abdomen,

and I think she wore glasses. Do you have any idea who that is?Evans mother shook her head slowly crooking her lip in apology of not knowing.Hun, after you

left. You left everyone I was lucky to hear from you once every two months. You ran pretty good from

here. Evans Mother lifted a hurt smile to play off her small joking words.Evans cheeks lightly fell and his eyes traced the steps they stood on. He remembered a list of

holidays and events in the past three and a half years that he drifted in and out of with very little

appearance to his family.

Evan? called a boys voice above Evan and his mother on the stairs. Evan and his mothers eyesmet a shorter blonde haired boys eyes as he bounced down the marble steps of the campus buildings

front towards them. He landed on the step just ahead of Evan. Oh man, Evan, is that you?Evan recognized the boy his age.

Jessie wow, I havent seen you Evans memory bounced across his friendships timeline,since I left the main campus Evans voice trailed in shame at his realization that he had abandoned hisfriend. Jessie took Evans hand in a shake and pulled him into a one armed hug.

I heard what happened to you, but by the time it was in the paper you were out of the hospital.Evan shook his hand in the air in dismissal. Dont worry about it. Im fine. And come to think of it,

Im pretty sure you and my dad are about the only people who still read the news paper.Both Jessie and Evan lightly chuckled but quickly returned to their previous state of conversation.

I heard you tore up your head a bit, among other things. Are you doing ok?


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Oh yeah, said Evan, not really even sore. Sure, I got this big-o Band-Aid on my head, but Ill be

out of that soon enough. Jessie smiled back atEvans smile that continued fromhis joke. Its weird, but Iactually have some crazy memory loss, laughed Evan in explanation. Apparently, how this

Jessie, in a visual sense of panic, interrupted Evan, What have you forgotten? Is it serious?Evans mother looked at Evan for an answer in surprise from his friends concern towards him.

Evan looked back at Jessie in light surprise, himself.Well, began Evan slowly, I lost about everything from the time I left my parents house to now.

Though, it seems to come back to me once I see stuff that leads to my forgotten memories. Jessie noddedand listened intently to each of Evans words. I get some memories back just on their own, I guess, andjust from making comment on them, but what Im getting the impression on is that Im going to getthe

main gist of them all backfrom sight.

Jessie looked at Evan as if unable to imagine his existence ahead of him. His eyes were narrowed

and his forehead scrunched. He made a motion to say something in response but was cut short of speech

by a glance at his watch.

Damn, snapped Jessie, Im late. But hey, called Jessie to Evan with heavy emphasis for his

attention, if you need anything give me a call.

I actually lost my phone in the accident, said Evan. I dont have your number.Not a problem. Jessie swung his backpack over his right shoulder, reached inside, and removed a

half-torn piece of paper and a pen. He quickly scribbled down his information and handed it to Evan.

Here, take it. Evan shared a friendly smiled of thanks with Jessie as he took thepaper. Call me, Im

serious. Its good to see you.

Jessie patted Evan on the shoulder then hurried off into a skip away to his class.

Evan jingled a recognizable key, dangling off his car key chain, as he walked up a concrete

staircase. In the center of the highest hallway, he slid it into a door lock. The door swung open as Evan

and his parents entered one at a time. Though it was not visibly occupied, the apartment was clearly a

used place of living. Fully furnished and moderately well kept.

As Evan walked through the door he came to remember that this was his apartment. He knewwhere each belonging was to be. He knew the texture of the floor beneath him. He knew the smell. He

knew it as home. But, he felt it empty.

Ok, here we are, called Evans mother from behind him as she stepped into the kitchen, flickeringon the florescent light above her. Grab anything you need.Ill get your milk and everything else you dont

want to spoil.Evans mother grabbed his fathers wrist and began instructing him on how to help her gather

perishables. Evan nodded in her direction with little attention and continued into the living room. His

each step revived more and more memory. He remembered sitcoms played from his television. He

remembered the multiple arrangements he had placed his furniture. He remembered days and nights

working, playing, and studying throughout his house. He remembered it all, but something. At each

corner with each angle he looked throughout his house, he could not remember what he was missing.Hey hun, Im gonna talk with your land lord to get your places pay account switched over to mine

until you can go back to tutoring, ok? said Evans mother in a loud muffle do to her head deep inside the

refrigerator.

Mom, I have a huge savings account and still have plenty of cash in my checking.

Oh shut it. Evans mother wielded an arm fullof goods from Evans refrigerator and droppedthem on his kitchen counter. You are paying your way through college. You are broke as hell.

Evan could not think of a response.


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Evans mother circled around the counter to Evans side. No tutoring job, no money, she said

with a sympathetic smile. And thats why you have your momma. She kissed his forehead, rustled hishair, and returned to her work in the kitchen.

Evan quickly toured his home and ended inside his bedroom. The master bathroom door hung half

open. The beds sheets still laid in the heap he had left them when he last time he slept inside them. Plain,

cold, and shadowed, Evans room bore no life.He stepped beside the impression-wrinkled side of his bed to enter his closet. At his feet sat his

large duffle bag in a square fold. Handful by handful, Evan shoveled shirts, socks, pants, and underwear

into the bag. Within minutes, Evan had gathered all the clothing and toiletries he felt he could need and

closed the door to his room behind him.

Evan exited his apartment complex behind his parents. They walked down the concrete staircase

that released them out onto the sidewalk. It wrapped around the outside of the parking lot and led them

to the front of the building.

Should I grab my car now or are you guys planning to come back some other time? Evan asked

his parents.

No. No. No. You are in no condition to drive, alerted Evans mother. Evan raised his eyebrows in

skepticism.Shes right, interjected Evans father, underneath both his arms filled of refrigerated goods. Like

the doctors told us, you have a much higher chance to have a seizure or black out within the first few

weeks. You can stay put. Evan frowned after hearing his fathers dominating tone and sunk his

shoulders.

Rounding the sidewalk corner to the street sides outside Evans apartment building, Evansmemory leaped. His eye was caught by the bus stop ahead of him on the corner of the street. Between the

open suburban-city avenue and the front of Evans living complex, a small bench laid bolted to the ground

beside a lamppost baring a bus stop sign. Evans parents beeped the lock of their small blue sedan and

began loading all they held into it. They parked just down the sidewalk of the corner the bus stop was

anchored. Evan passed their car in a trance approaching the bench.

Under the unlit streetlight, Evan remembered the place he stood. He remembered being in thatexact place time and time again. He had a car and he has never been a fan of riding a bus but, some how,

this bus stop held great importance. He ran his right hand over the seat of the cold metal bench. He

looked out across the street questioning where he lost the importance of this bus stop.

The girl. Evans eyes widened from the intake of a newly refurbished memory. She was there. She

was always there, everyday. Evan could see it in the back of his mind as clear as glass. The girl of his

dream was always at this bus stop to meet him after he waited. This is where they would meet, every day.

He didnt know why, but he simply knew it.

A car door slammed diagonally behind Evan.

Honey, do you need something else? hollered Evans mother. We are ready to leave.Evan looked back over his shoulder and called he would be there in a second. Before turning to

walk backtowards his parents car, Evan scanned every inch of the bus stop with his eyes, trying toremember more. Still, his memory held mysteries.

Yeah, is this Jessie? A static murmur was audible beside Evans ear. Hey man, this is Evan. Evanstood in his parents living room next to the couch. He held the landline phone receiver to his ear and held

Jessies given phone number in his hand.Yeah, yeah. Hey, you mind coming over today? More murmurs. Yeah. I have got back a bit, but I

can tell you it all when you get here.Evan twirled a stray string off his parents couch between hisfingers. Ok. Ok. Ill see you then.


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Well Everything sounds like it will come back to you eventually butI have no idea about this

girl, said Jessie to Evan as they both sat on his bedroom floor in his parents house.Humph frustrated, Evan blew air between his lips as he dropped his head back against the foot

of the bed. Jessie slouched and leaned further on his knees as he sat cross-legged. He bit at his lip in

thought with disappointment. Did you bring all your books? asked Evan looking up at his ceiling.

Yeah, Jessie responded quickly and got to his feet. He hopped across the room, grabbed hissatchel bag, and returned to where he sat. Here, Jessie alerted, while he lifted books from his bag and

stacked them at his feet. I guess it came in handy to be studying the same degree as each other. We havethe same crap. Jessie broke a wide smile across his face. Evan leaned forward and faced him. He toocracked a smile.

Evan flicked his wrists and stretched his arms forward limbering his upper body. Alright, give me

a book. Jessie took the top book from the stack and handed it to Evan. Evan slowly lowered his eyes to

the advanced mathematics title and examined. Immediately, the images and experiences of Evans pastrelating to the given book stampeded into his conscious memory. His eyes flickered and rolled upward

from his memory uptake.

Wow, said Evan lightly in a gasp of air.

Ha! laughed Jessie. You remembered something didnt you? Evan shook his head and smiledback at Jessie.

More than I thought I would. I remember all of that class. Mr. Davis, his lectures, his bad jokes, his

weird mustache, every time I walked in his classroom

Well, said Jessie with a huge grin, I cantsay I know the guy, butI think I might love his class.

Evan chuckled and nodded. Do you thinkyou can still do the problems? Evan tilted his head andstrained his face.

Im not sure. I know I can see a lot of formulas in my head and remember studying from the same

book, but Im not sure. Evan opened the book he held and scrolled from page to page. Jessie fiddled

inside of his satchel and removed a wad of paper and pens he handed to Evan.

Use this, said Jessie with encouragement in his voice. Figure some stuff out on it.

Evan took the paper wad, flattened it on one side of the book he held, and began to write. Problemafter problem he completed. Not taking long, Evan solved questions from chapter after chapter. Once

finished, he opened the back pages of the textbook to check his work.

Well, said Evan to Jessie in lighthearted surprise, I think I can be thanking my lucky stars forthis. I got all these answers right.

Jessie snapped his head to attention from his cell phone applications. That is awesome! BeforeEvan could reply from under his widely stretched smile, Jessie dropped the stack of textbooks from the

floor into Evans lap. Read, boy! Evans eyes expanded in surprise and caution as Jessie began taking

each book, one at a time in hand, and swinging each across Evans line ofvision prodding him with

questions of whether he remembered each. One after another, the sight of each book passing in front of

his eyes rattled Evans brain.

Wow wait a minute stammered Evan holding his hands. He attempted to protect his facewith his forearms from Jessies whirling books. Scholastic information pounded his skull. Wait. Evangrabbed ahold of Jessies wrist in mid swing of the current book he held. How aboutI do this one at a

time. Jessie paused on request then shrugged and smiled in agreement. Evan took the book Jessie heldfrom his hand. He gripped it under each palm and examined it as he did the last. Faster this time, his

memories were reborn. As flashes and fast-forwarded clips of time scrolled before Evans eyes. Eachexperience tied to a book he held was brutally restored to him.

Evan shook his head from the mental strain. Quickly, he placed each book he held next to him and

took another into his hands. The mental whiplash that stuck him from before instantly returned once he


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laid sight on the next books cover. He took another book to examine, then another, and another. He

flipped from page to page of each book, exploring every possible crevasse where any lost thought could

hide. As fast as he could lift one book into his possession he nearly had finished the one before. Evan

circulated through each book Jessie had brought.

Oh man its all just flooding into me, Evan said to Jessie as he dropped the last book and

wiped a bead of sweat of his forehead, everything. Jessies wide grin returned.Ha-ha, he laughed, Everything?

Yeah. Gosh this is something else.

Thats great! Jessieleaned forward and slapped Evan on the shoulder. Youre getting yourselfback. Open a book or two more, jog your memory, and youll be back tutoring in no

Wait, Evan alerted abruptly. Somethings

Whats wrong? Whats missing?

That girl.Jessie slouched back on his hands behind him.

I dont know man

I see her face. I know there is more but thats it. I cant remember a damn thing. Evan bit his

knuckle and folded his knees to his chest. Jessie sat stumped in thought.Could she be someone you tutored or tutored with? asked Jessie quietly, still showing evidence

of deep thought.

No. I really dont think so. I remember the tutoring office I remember the other tutors my

regulars and Id say most all the walk-ins. I know Id recognize her if she was there. I just feel it.

Ok, so shes not a tutor or a tutoree said Jessie joking to himself in thought, and theres a goodchance shes not a student because you never thought of her at the school or from any of your classes. We

just dont have a lotto go on. The two boys sat puzzled staring blankly at one another. Is there anything

else you can remember about her, asked Jessie emphasizing the word anything, anything at all?

Evan frowned and shook his head.

Well, said Jessie through heavy breath, my last guess is that she is just a neighbor. Evans frown

deepened. He slowly swung his head in disagreement and scratched at the wrappings on his head.There has to be something more to this.

You are right! Jessie snapped his finger. Evan looked up at him in question. She has to be yourgirlfriend.

What? asked Evan with great skepticism.

Evan, it makes perfect sense. You have some random girl stuck in your head that you apparentlywaited at that bus stop for everyday. Either you developed a stalking fetish in your time away or you

were dating her.

Jessie, Ive never had a girlfriend girlfriend. And if this girl and I were that close, wouldnt I have

some sort of memory of her? Id imagine something like thatI would remember.Oh, sure you have, Jessie assured. What about Stacy Witherspoon?

Jessie, that was sixth grade. She held my hand for a week after she kissed me outside the newgym.

Jessies mouth quivered in his speechlessness. Well It Ok. We can prove it. Jessie sprawled his

legs outward and shuffled upright to stand over Evan.

What are you getting at?

Come on, asserted Jessie, friendly. Lets go.Where are we going? asked Evan at a degree louder than before to better capture Jessies

attention.


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To your house, clarified Jessie. Evan looked at Jessie with wordless confusion. Change your

bandages and get in my car. Without waiting for Evan to reply, Jessie began taking each book he hadspread across Evans old room and refitted them all he could inside his school bag or stacked them to

carry.

Evan raised himself, propped against the edge of his bed, to stand. As Jessie organized his

belongings, Evan made his way out of the room. Out his door, he walked down the upstairs hallway andmade his way into the closest bathroom. He used the toilet for a quick moment, washed his hands, and

scratched fiercely at his medical wraps. Evan saw in the bathroom mirror that the bandages around his

head were unevenly slackened and exposing clumps of hair.

Evan slowly unlaced the tangle of gauze wrap from around his head. Piece after piece caught hold

of stiches and dried wounds. His entire scalp was very tender. Without the little sense of pressure his

wrappings could apply, every squint and raised eyebrow burned the nerves over his entire head. Once

fully removed, Evan could see the true aftermath of his accident. More than half of his head was crudely

shaved to expose his healing surgical scars. Though the stiches running across his scalp were very visible

and alerting to the eye, the actual wounds were very healed. Directly along side the rows of stiches still

reveled very reddened, tender skin but all other portions of Evans head seemed very healthy.

Gently, Evan ran cool water over his head and through his unevenly shaven hair. The chilled liquidcalmed his mind. Only using the edge of a hand towel, he dabbed and precisely rubbed his scalp dry. He

took a fresh roll of gauze wrap into his right hand. Slowly and tenderly he rewrapped his wounds to

ensure their safe healing but did not cover his entire head. He only wrapped the necessary portions of

himself to protect his surgery scars. He left the bathroom for his bedrooms closet and took a small wool

skullcap from a top shelf. Its dark green tint looked brown in most light. It did not add any appeal to

Evans desired appearance but it felt much more comfortable physically and visually.

Evan opened the passenger door to Jessies car and slid into the seat. Jessie was in place behind

the wheel with his seatbelt already fastened.

Nice addition, said Jessie to Evan as he started his vehicle. You look a little lessFrankensteinish.

Yeah, replied Evan half serious, I was kinda going for that.

Entering the apartment, Jessie stopped immediately and turned around to face Evan with widely

stretched arms beaming with the intent to either make a great announcement or pounce upon Evan. Evan

entered his housing slowly with an eyebrow raised in un-surprised suspicion. Should I be worried?

asked Evan.

Clothes. Where are your clothes?Evan looked himself up and down to confirm he was still dressed then looked back to Jessie in

wide-eyed confusion. What the hell are you wanting? Jessie dropped his arms and rolled his eyes with a

deep sigh.

Evan, where is your closet? We need to check your clothes.

Why?Ok, you have the memory of waiting for this girl at the bus stop everyday, right? If she got off here

everyday, Im betting she would stay the night. And guesses are, if she was staying the night every night

shed have to make herself a home away from home, meaning she probably has her own place for clotheshere.

Evans eyebrows rose in intrigue. Yes that is a possibility.Evan turned his sights from Jessie to his bedroom door. Jessie followed Evans eyes and made the

realization of where he looked. With a single push in the direction of the bedroom, Jessie forced Evan to

lead in a dash onward. Jessie nearly crumpled Evansclosets foldable door from the force he used to


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hurry its opening. As he last left it, Evans closet gave no sign of an out of place presence to Evan, but

Jessie was not swayed away. Viciously, Jessie rummaged between Evans hanging clothes looking foranything feminine. Rummaging not nearly as fast and destructively, Evan dug through his stacked

clothing. Jessie leaped across the closet and moved to search a noticeably dirty laundry hamper.

I cant find anything, announced Evan, still searching.

Oh, alerted Jessie in excitement, I got something. Jessie pulled a thin brightly colored t-shirtfrom within dirty laundry and held it in front of him.

Uh Yeah, thats mine, said Evan hesitantly. Jessie looked at the shirt then back at Evan.

What? Thats yours?Yeah. I got it like a year ago. Jessies facial expression tightened in painful disgust.

Well, I cant say Im that biga fan of Elton John, but

Oh come on! Pleaded Evan loudly. Its a party shirt. Evan swiped the shirt from Jessies hands.

Its for dance clubs. It looks good in dim light.Yeah, so do ugly women. But,you dont see anyone going out in the daylight to get one.

Anyway called Evan over Jessies talking as he wadded up his glittering shirt and forced it

between stacks of folded shorts.

Right, right, said Jessie recollecting his thoughts. I didnt exactly get all I was wanting to out ofthis.

All you wanted? questioned Evan. What in this did you get? Its just my clothes in here.

True, Jessie said with a proud smile, but look at them. He pointed throughout Evans closet.

See how they are arranged? Evan was confused and visibly showed it.

No. What do you see?Look Evan, Jessie steered Evans head with one of his hand as he led his eyes with the other.

Notice how they are all on one side? Evan brushed away Jessies hands and shook his head free of his

grasp.

Sure. What is your point?The point is that half this closet is missing. Everything in here has its place and space to belong

and all on the same side. Dont you see? asked Jessie building excitement. Her shit is gone and it left youwith just one side of the closet! Jessie crossed his arms in self-admiration and waited for Evans reply.

Jessie, that doesnt prove anything. It just means Im efficient in where I put my clothes. I dontneed all this space. Plus, its not like I ever go out to buy new clothes, except my shirt.

What are you talking about? You are bound to get some sort of new clothing once living out and

away on your own. At least to help fill up all this dead space, said Jessie flipping his hand away from hisface as if disgusted.

Jessie, I havent bought a new pair of shoes since my sophomore year in high school.

There was a frustrated pause between the two.

Ok, so you are a cheap-ass and a neat freak. That still doesnt disprove my idea!Come on, Jessie. This is ridiculous. Maybe, just maybe, I had a big crush on some girl that lives in

this same complex. Maybe thats why I was at that bus stop all the time. Or, maybe she was disabled. Icould have been just helping. It makes sense.

Disabled said Jessie with a void expression. Evan widened his eyes and tilted his head to

motion his idea reasonable. Now whos the idiot?Evan rubbed between his eyes on the bridge of his nose and continued to ponder where he stood

as to what he should do next. Lets just go to the buildings attendant and ask if he knows anyone whofits the description.

No, said Jessie quickly. I know she had to be your girlfriend and I know how to prove it. Jessie

stormed three feet outside of the closet and turned to Evan. Look at all your pictures, said Jessie


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assertively with plea, all throughoutthe house. Look for her face. Evan mentally gathered Jessies plan

and saw possibility. He immediately rolled his shoulder to pass Jessie and started his scattered search.

We have to find her face. Jessie whipped his head back and forth as he spoke, searching for a picture

frame Evan may have missed in his search inside his bedroom. Look everywhere.Jessie hurried into the living room. Evan followed after. They both scanned each wall, counter, and

shelf surface mirroring the other on the opposite side of the house.Nothing called Evan.

I didnt find a picture, answered Jessie, but look at this.

Evan noticed a happily surprised tone in Jessies voice. Evan leaped over his living room ottoman,hopped across his apartment to be beside Jessie. What? What did you find?

Jessie stood facing a small shelf holding a vase, a small picture of Evans parents, and a blank wall

supporting it. You see this? Jessie pointed to a dust outlined rectangle on the shelf near the vase. Evan

looked at the find, then up over to Jessie in loss. You are missing a frame. And look. Jessie pointed up atthe wall ahead of him. You see those two darker spots? Jessie slowly turned his head to look Evan in the

eye with his huge grin. More missing pictures! Evan flashed a small smile and dropped his shoulders.

His quickly fading level of excitement vanished.

JessieEvan, we have, at least some, proof right here

Jessie! barked Evan, Enough! Jessies face sunk. Evan pressed his fist hard against his own

forehead and expelled a burst of air from both his lungs. We have found nothing. Those old picture frame

marks on the wall could just as well be from the last tenants as they could be from this stupid idea. We

found no clothes, my mother never heard a word about her, theres not a single picture, and, Jessie, I haveNEVER dated anyone! This. This is completely stupid.

Evan walked from Jessie and leaned his arms on the kitchen counter. Jessies face was still sunken.

Butit still drives you out of your mind, said Jessie softly. Evan tilted his head toward him to hear

more clearly. You are stuck in your mind because there is something more to this. Evan turned his bodyaround and faced Jessie completely.

What? asked Evan.No matter how stupid or irrational you find the whole thought of this, you cant get away from it.

You are always thinking of her. Or, maybe, she is just such a strong thought, you know it has affected so

much of your life you have to know more.Jessie stood facing Evan with a blank stare. Evans mouth slightly quivered but he was speechless.

How do you know that? Evan asked in a hushed voice. Because I can see it. Because of exactly what you just told me. Jessie spoke slowly and very

directly to Evan. Ive known you since the second grade and never once have you ever given two shits

about another persons existence unless you had to research them for class or was forced to work with

them. Evans lips tightened and he looked side to side with his eyes, avoiding Jessies gaze. Jessie did notmove from where he stood. You know, I could be completely wrong. Maybe I am. I have been before.

And, you know, if this girl even does exist, what is the point? Its not like youll care. It just feels good tohave some faith sometimes, even when its just for someone else.

Silence fell between the two boys. They both stood in place motionless. Only the muffled outside

echo of cars driving by was audible inside the apartment.

Sorry, said Evan shortly. I look at reality... Evan slowly walked past Jessie into his bedroom

hutched with his head lowered. Scuffing past it, the door slowly swung closed behind him from his own

bodys gust of air pressure. He approached his messy bed until his toes touched the floor based frame. He

stretched his arms wide, exhaled loudly, then turned and flopped his back upon the beds top. Lying on


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his back, he stared at his ceiling for a moment. He questioned his own motives. Still, he had no

understanding who this girl in his mind was or why he even cared. He gritted his teeth as he thought.

Evan leaned forward and planted his feet against the floor to sit upright on his bedside. He stared

out over his room as he did that morning at his parents house. He removed his small hat and ran hisfingers through his hair on the top of his head. Without the hat over his ears, he could better hear Jessie

rearrange himself as he sat on the couch in the living room. He had turned on Evans TV. Its audioskipped as he surfed the channels.

Evan viewed his surroundings, rolling his head and neck trying to ease tension. On the wall ahead

of him were more dark rectangles that illuminated in his line of sight. He dropped his eyes quickly and

hung his head. To his right, he spotted his bedside table. In one scoot he closed the distance he needed to

open its single drawer. Evans eyes narrowed.

Inside the drawer atop pens, small packets of pain relievers, and miscellaneous trashes sat an

evenly folded piece of writing paper. Evan slowly reached and took it into his hand. The paper had clearly

been wadded into a very compressed ball before flattened and folded. Caution enveloped Evan as he held

the paper. Slowly, he opened it and read the words hand written into it.

Evan,I never thought I would find someone to love as much as I

loved you. And, I never imagined I would lose them because of

this. Im sorry, for everything. Neither of us needs to argue

over nothing just to argue. You have your dreams and your goals

so set in stone, it seems I am only in your way.

I have never put myself outside of your plans or you

schedule, but I think now it is time that I should. I hope,

someday, you can share your life with someone who loves you as

much as I did.

Goodbye

Evans breaths grew deeper and faster. The corners of his eyes tightened and his sinuses began to

burn. His broken memory rocked in his skull and he lost the means to tame it. Tears poured down his face

onto his lap or down his neck. Each breath was harder to compress and silence than the last. He cupped

his mouth and sealed his eyes but he could barely muffle his weeps or deaden the pain in his chest.

The quieter he held himself, more painfully his suppressed hiccups dug in his throat. Quickly, Evan

was able to master his visible emotions. He rubbed away the tears on his face with his forearm and

cleared his throat loudly. Though he was able to stop from his crying, he could not overpower small

tremors encasing his entire body.

Jessie entered Evans room.

Its gonna be late getting home if we Clearly not knowing of Evans state before entering, Jessiecaught his words immediately once he came in view of Evans reddened eyes. Evans head snapped

upward to meet Jessies gaze. Attempting to cover what had just transpired he rubbed his eyes morefiercely once more and lowered his head back from view. Jessie halted in the doorway in shock and

question of weather to enter the room or leave.

Evan?

Evan sniffed strongly one last time and rubbed his nose with his forearm. He raised his opposite

hand for Jessie to take the note he held in it. Jessie stepped forward and leaned in to take the wrinkled

note from Evan. Once in hand, his eyes darted to each edge of the paper and he read it over twice. After a


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moments pause in silence, Jessie carefully refolded the note along its creases and softly placed it at

Evans side.Thats her, isnt it, said Jessie. Evan nodded, looking at his feet.

Jessie turned on his heels and sat on the beds edge next to Evan.Do you remember her?

Evan cleared his throat and looked forward through his rooms doorway.I remember her smell, the taste of her lips. I can almost feel my fingers running through her

hair. Evan flashed a glance into Jessies eyes. I feel it. I feel every inch of me stripped away and I cantdo a thing to escape it. Evan dropped his hands on either side of him onto the bed cover. I feel like allthat is left of my mind and body is cold and alone on the edge of shattering, Evan slowly turned his head

to face Jessie, but I cant remember a damn thing

Jessies eyebrows tilted back in empathetic sadness and his lips tightened from irritation. There

has to be something else, he said shaking his head and rising to his feet. Where haventwe looked?Where did you find that?

Evan knocked his center knuckle against the front drawer of his nightstand. Almost in unison, the

two looked at each other then across the bed at the opposing nightstand that mirrored the one at Evans

side. Jessie shot around the foot of the bed in a blurred dash while Evan crawled head first over the bedstop. Jessies hands met the nightstands drawer first. He hesitated only a moment before ripping it open.

Jessies eyes grew.

Evan, said Jessie in hushed disbelief, look at this. Evan collided heads with Jessie to look down

into the opened drawer. Like Jessie, Evans eyes widened at what he saw.

Amongst two feminine products, strewn barrettes, hair ties, scrunches, and other small

miscellaneous, a frameless photograph laid unfolded in the center of it all. Evan reached for the picture,

as did Jessie. Evans hand touched itfirst so Jessie withdrew his own. It had roughly worn edges and a

thin layer of dust. Shaking the picture softly to free it from the few items atop it, Evan raised it from the

nightstand and viewed it in his hands as if an ancient artifact. Jessie stood silently beside him, his eyes

locked on the photograph and his mouth agape.

The photo displayed the heads and shoulders of two young people with spectacular smilesembracing one another. Evan immediately recognized the person on the left as himself. His eyes were

tilted down in a sign of happy embarrassment but his face was clearly visible. The person on the right

was a young woman. She had long, wavy, dirty blond hair that was whipping across her face as she smiled

through a laugh. Though her face was not completely hidden, only the edge of a frame of glasses peeked

through her hair. The end of her nose was all to be seen of her face above her lips. Her hair obscured any

further view.

Evan, is that her? asked Jessie with great suspense. Evans eyes flickered. They jumped from sideto side of the picture. After each shaky movement his eyes made, his eyelids pulled back more and more.

Jessie could identify a look of horrified disappointment brewing over Evans face.Evan, he askedquieter, what is wrong?

Evan leaned back from where he crouched and straightened his back upright looking Jessie in theeyes. I know this is her but I still cant remember her. Jessie took a step back and gave a half sigh of

relief. Evans eyes narrowed at Jessie in a light anger of disbelief. What was that about?

Jessie immediately caught Evans surprise and stumbled momentarily to explain himself. Oh man,I completely get we are right back where we were and all, but I thought you just had some realization she

was dead or something. Jessie flashed a half smile to show his relief. Evan didnt share his enthusiasm.Evan got up from the bed, holding the picture ahead of his eyes.

Crossing the parking lot of the apartment complex onto the sidewalk, Evans ears and nose werechilled by a cool wind. As he walked to the streets corner, he re-shielded his head with his small winter


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hat. Evan tucked his hands into his pockets and sat on the cold bus stop bench. He leaned forward and

rested his elbows on his knees, staring out across the street. Ahead of him, rows of small neighborhood

houses edged the street. A small business strip was adjacent to the bus stop Evan sat, bordering the end

of suburban houses to the beginnings of the small city Evan lived within.

Jessie pulled his car from the parking lotand drove up to the streets corner. He aligned it closely

to the curb at the street corner beside the bus stop and parked. Jessie waited in the car as it ran, keepingwarm, waiting for Evan. After a few moments, Jessie removed the keys from the car and walked over to

join Evan.

Jessie passed behind Evan and sat beside him on his right. Evan did not move or say a word when

Jessie sat. He only continued to stare broadly across the street. Jessie pulled a pair of gloves from his

jacket pocket and leisurely covered his fingers.

How could I have let her go? asked Evan. Jessie had no answer. I dont even know her now, and

all I want is her back Evan slumped his back against the bench. If it hurts so much now, how did I letthis happen? Jessie leaned back against the bench, joining Evan, and rubbed his chin in thought.

Obviously, you really cared for this girl, but maybe your fear of losing her drove you to push her

away. Evanlooked at Jessie at his side with skepticism. Better to run away than be run away from

Evan slowly turned back to the street and stared blankly. Maybe all of this has something to do with whyyou cant remember her fullyeven though she is the only thing your brain couldnt let go of. Maybe itjust hurts too much to remember.

The next morning, Evans parents moved about the kitchen in their usual routine. Evans father

had just entered and sat at the table with his paper in hand and orange juice ahead of him on the tablestop. Evans mother carried two prepared plates of hash browns, eggs, bacon, and oatmeal to the kitchen

table. She placed one in front of her husband Carl and the other across the table where Evan had sat the

morning before. She then returned to the kitchen counters to assemble her own plate. Evans father

looked under his newspaper at his plate and then over his paper at Evans across the table. NoticingEvans absence, he looked all around the kitchen.

Where is that boy? asked Evans father grumpily. Evans mother found her seat at the table andbegan eating.

Not sure.Its not like him to sleep in this late, replied Evans mother.

I dont know about that. Ive sure seen him sleep in before.Yes, stomach flu can do that to some people, Carl, said Evans mother under a sharp glare to her

husband.

Evan folded one last pair of socks and placed them snuggly into his large duffle bag. He was

crouched at the foot of his old bed wearing a pair of scruffy cargo pants he had found deep within his

closet and the same long sleeve shirt he had worn the day before. His hair was still a little damp from the

shower he had just exited. The bandage wraps around his head were much thinner than the day before.

His scalp was feeling much less tender. For warmth against the outside air and his own self-conscience,

he pulled his dark green wool hat over his head and ears as he stood.Evan slung his duffle bag over his shoulder walked into the hallway and closed his bedroom door

before leaving. He made his way downstairs entering the living room then crept into the kitchen

doorway. Evans mother looked up from her plate and greeted him with a smile. His dad glanced to hisside to see him then turned his full upper body to view him suspiciously.

Mom, could I get a ride somewhere? asked Evan softly to his mother. His eyes drew lines on theground. His mothers face twitched to show question then re-lightened as before.


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Sure. She hesitated for a small moment and examined him in the doorway. Why are you all

packed up? Are you staying at Jessies or planning to go back home, because we talked about this before?I dont want you staying at your own place right now. You need to fully recover so we can ensure

Mom, I need a ride out there. Interrupted Evan. I ohm Im going to stay out there for a littlewhile. Evans dad tightened his face and turned his whole body in his chair toward Evan.

Did you not just hear your mother? asked Evans father with deep frustration. You are stayinghere. And you have an appointment this afternoon.

I cant make it. Evan replied quickly. Evans father stood from the table and looked across at

Evan. Evan raised his sight to his father. What the hell do have that is so important? Evans fatherdemanded answer to.

There is someone I have to wait for. Evans fathers face scrunched in confusing of an absurdity.

Evans mother just tilted her head to listen further. I just need a ride. Evan turned to leave the kitchen

as he spoke. With one foot aimed toward the front door, Evans father reached forward and grasped oneof his shoulders turning him back facing the kitchen.

I dont think so, stated Evans father over him. You better get talking about what this nonsense

is about.

Evan looked both his parents in the eye, back and forth. He took a deep breath, looked at his feet,and then raised his chin high as he spoke. Mom Dad for the last three and a half years or so, I had

someone very close to me. Evans fathers eyes narrowed and his mothers eyes widened. I dont knowall the details, and honestly, I dont really even know who she is or even what her name is but I messed

up and I need to get her back.

There was moment of complete silence throughout the house. No one spoke, no birds chirped

outside the windows, and there was nearly a complete absence of the sounds of breathing. Evan and his

parents just stared back at each other. Evans mother broke the silence in a very calm soft voice.

How are you going to get her back? she asked.

Im going to wait for her. Evan could immediately sense the wave of surprise and disbelief fromhis parents. I dont know how long or what to really wait for to happen but its the only idea I got,

Evan tightened the straps on his bag, and the only thing I can do is try. Evans father tensed his face, baring his teeth, giving the impression he was readying himself

physically to speak sternly. So, thats your plan you are going to just sit and wait for some little girl,

whom you dont even know, who left you in the first place? Evan said nothing and stood with a voidexpression. Evans fathers face grew red and continued to tighten.Do you realize your only chance of

that damn girl learning of this Brainless stunt is only until after you are arrested for loitering and given,

by the grace of god, the off chance of being featured on your local news being hauled away?Evan chewed the inside of his bottom lip then took a deep breath. He rolled his shoulders and

looked at the ground near his fathers feet. I dont want to fight with you dad.

Are you insane? yelled Evans father in fury. Evans face dropped of life and he hung his head.This This is ridiculous. Evans father waved at Evans mother. She sat silent, still holding a face of

question and concern toward Evan. Are you hearing this too? Wow wow, Evan. You really have takenyour final steps down into juvenile delirium. Im calling the hospital. Evans father turned to the kitchencounter and reached for the landline phone.

Im going to wait for her, dad, said Evan forcefully. His eyes stared unshaken into the back of hisfathers head. Evans father slowly turned back around. I know you think this is all nothing but some

stupid, rash thought I woke up with, but its not, dad. Its Evans father waved his had in the air to cuthis words with his scowl.


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You are an idiot, Evan. You just got out of major neurological surgery and you have convinced

yourself that you are thinking straight, but youre not. You have finally lost your little mind and I amhaving an ambulance pick you up before you end up hurting yourself further.

Dad began Evan, trying to calm his father.Apparently, thats all you seem good at.Evans father flung his hands in the air once again and

began pacing in three step strides. You couldnt keep from screwing your life up before your accident. Idont see why I thought there should have been a change now.Evans face began to tighten with anger.

Dad, if you would just lis Evan began again.

Ever since you were the height of my belt you stopped listening to me. You stopped listening torationality. You stopped thinking about where you were and where you are going to put your damn feet

before you walk yourself off a cliff. You just do things.

DAD, yelled Evan, nearly cracking his voice from the scream. Evans father closed his mouth and

looked at Evan with wide eyes. You know what Dad, Im sorry. Evan flopped his arms against his sides.Im sorry I just cant do anything right or do anything youapprove of. Im sorry I dont want to push

paper my whole life in some cubical. Im sorry I like art and music and imagination every now and then.

Believe it or not, most people do far more than I do. Evan continued to stare deep into his fathers eyes.

His father did not move an inch. He only absorbed the shock and power of Evans words. Im sorry I cantjust be happy where I am Evan sighed and dropped his tensed shoulders, and say I just dont care. Im

sorry Im not a better son. Evans mother quietly gasped, still sitting at the kitchen table. Her hands

were at her mouth. Evan steadied himself and stood as straight as he could manage. But, Im going to do

this Dad. I need to. I cant let this chance get away.

Evans father mouth hung open. He stood with one foot back, looking ready to brace himselfforprotection or run in flight. His face showed only shock.

Ill take you. Both Evan and his father turned their heads to Evans mother. She stood quickly and

crossed between Evan and his father. Ill take him, Evans mother said again, now directed at her

husband. At Evans side, she softly laid her hand on his shoulder and turned him away, with her, from hisfather.

Evans father sucked in a stunted gulp of air and spoke, Youre just going to let him do this tohimself?

Evans mother snapped her head around to face her husband as she led Evan through the living

room. Hes an American citizen over the age of twenty-one. He can do about all he damn well he wants todo. She turned her head back in the direction she was walking and continued. Evans fathers face tensed

and his eyebrows furrowed. He was giving you and I the respect and care of telling us his plans before hedid them.

Evans father stood disgruntled. He hesitated to speak and gathered his words. Then he said,

angrily addressing, He just needed one of us to take him there.

Putting her hand on the doorknob, Evans mother immediately snapped back, Could he not havegot another ride from his friend?

Evans father was silent. His mother opened the door.All three hours of the car ride, neither Evan nor his mother spoke. Evan was unsure of what to say.

Evans mother drove pleasant faced and nowhere stretched from normal. Evan rested his head against

the passenger side window with his hands in his lap. He had many questions floating in his mind. He

questioned his motives, he questioned his memories, and he questioned his actions to come, but he

remained quiet. Evan only sat still and watched the road from the windshield.

Evans mother arrived at the bus stop on the corner of Evans apartment building. She drove her

car just past the stops bench and parked it closely along the curb with the engine still running. Evan

tensed his shoulders and took deep breath, trying to ready himself for his next steps exiting the vehicle.


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He reached over the center console and pulled his duffle bag into his lap from the back seat. He looked it

over for a moment. He was unsure of what he was really searching for but felt he needed to be surer

before leaving.

Evans mother took her hands off the steering wheel and tenderly placed one against Evans cheekIt caught Evan in slight surprise, making him jolt, but he turned his eyes slowly to his mother. She leaned

in closer to Evan and looked over him with a kind, warm smile a mother would give an infant beforesleep.

Whether things turn out how you want them to or not, what matters is that you tried. That is all

anyone can do, said Evans mother, the rest is up to the universe.. Evan turned his head from her andopened the door to the car. He placed one foot on the sidewalk concrete and turned to her again.

I dont care about being praised for trying. Im here for her, Evan leaned to his side and stood

outside of his mothers car. He slung one strap ofhis bag over his shoulder, whether its to get her back

in my life or learn why I shouldnt. Evans mothers smile slowly faded and she nodded. Evan closed thecar door. Through the window glass, Evans mother clasped her hand to say good-bye as she drove away.

Evan followed his mothers car with his eyes as it disappeared away in the distance. He rolled his

duffle bags strap free from his shoulder and caught it in his hand. Scuffing his feet without any urgency,

Evan walked over to the bus stop bench, sat, and laid his bag next to him. He took in the cool air softlyblowing around him.

Evan reached his hand into his pocket. After digging and rearranging his posture, he pulled a

rough edged photograph from inside. He brushed flakes of settled dust from its surface and rotated it to

correctly see it. It was the picture of him and the girl with the long wavy hair. The sunlight glinted off the

photo as Evan flattened it in his hands. The sharp reflection of light made him squint each time it passed

over his eyes but he stared intently on what little was exposed of the girls face in the photograph. The

more he stared at her, he tried to imagine a moment in time he was next to her, the more reason he felt he

had to sit where he was.

Hours passed quickly, at first. Each minute Evan sat on the metal bench he felt more time run

away from him being reunited with the girl from his past. He could not remain focused on anything but

his time waiting. He fidgeted with his hands in his lap or realigned his clothings seams erratically, butnever moved from his seat.

One after another, passers-by crossed Evans line of sight across the suburban streetbut paid him

no mind. Two men in exercise clothing jogged past his bus stop and a woman walking a small dog walked

along the opposite side of the street.

Ten minutes past the hour, each hour on the dot, a passenger bus would come to the bus stop Evan

sat. Few people would exit at the stop and all would hurry their way from view. Each time a bus driversview of Evan was cleared by the absence of passengers they would stare and wait for him for slim

moments then leave just as abruptly as they came.

The sun glowed above Evan. Time began to slow and his skin warmed under the sun lit material of

his cargo pants and long sleeved shirt. The air was cooler than the day before and thus he was not given

the comfort to roll his sleeves.From his right, a heavy coated pedestrian walked toward the stop where Evan sat. His coat was

ripped and showed stuffing protruding from many seams and slits. His jeans had holes throughout and

his graying black hair was an unevenly fluffed Afro. The man scuffed one foot as he walked and sang to

himself, in and out of whisper, off key. As the man closed his distance to Evan, nervously, Evan

straightened his posture and did his best to give no noticeable attention to the man. The filthy man

crossed in front of Evan, turned, and sat atEvans left. Evan strained to look only forward, but it became

increasingly difficult as the filthy man began to observe then study Evan extensively.


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Rising in nervousness, Evan shuffled where he sat and flattened the picture he held repeatedly

against one of his legs. The filthy man scooted closer to Evan. He bobbed his head over and around Evansshowing a very clear sign he was confused why Evan was there. Either from his escalating apprehension

or want to levitate the awkward, silent observation, Evan turned to the man and spoke.

Have you seen this girl? Evan raised the photo of himself and the girl from his past. The filthy

man looked from Evans face to the photo with pinned his eyebrows in suspicion. He tilted his head themore he stared at the photo. Then, with shocking swiftness, the filthy man pulled his head back up and

sat upright facing Evan.

Yay, I seen er. said the filthy man through a very distorted form of English. Yay, she be sittinhere bout urvery day waitin for dat bus at seddiner so. Evans full body perked up in attention to the

mans words.

Seven? Seven oclock here, everyday? Evan questioned rapidly.

Yup. An din, she be right hur at bout six er seddin at night, urvey day. Hadnt seener in a whiledoe. Evans excitement settled back down and he reverted to slouching against the back of his seat. You

lookin forer?

No, replied Evan sulkily, waiting.

Oh, The filthy man bobbed his head jarringly. Wewl, this otta be duh bess place ta seeer.A city bus pulled alongside the bus stop, ahead of Evan and the fifthly man, and momentarily

parked, expelling a sound of pressurized air releasing. The filthy mans head reared up and his body

followed staggeringly.

If I seeer, called the filthy man to Evan as he entered the bus, Ill leter know you is hur.

Evan smiled and waved laxly in thanks.

As the day went on the sun crossed overhead. The flow of passing pedestrians rose nearing four

oclock in the afternoon. Two by two or three by three, groups of people would exit the buses that

stopped in front of Evan to go about their evening either swimming in conversation or narrow sighted

onto their phone.

Nearing six oclock, Evan watched each exiting passenger with the greatest anticipation to catch

the sight of the Girl from his past. Quickly, six oclock passed and so did seven. Evans throbbing curiosityat the sight of each bus wisped away from his mind. He did not see the girl in the photograph he held in

his hands and no one else sat or waited next to Evans bench that evening.With the sun fully set and the streetlights igniting the roads paths, the air was quickly getting

cooler. Evan finally came to the conclusion that rubbing his hands against the backs of his arms had lost

its ability to keep him warm. He grasped his duffle bag at his side and lifted it into his lap. Pulling the

double handled zipper, Evan opened his bag and removed a tightly rolled sleeping bag and winter coat.

He slipped his arms through the coat sleeves and zipped it to the base of his chin. Evan rose to his feet,

reset his duffle bag at his toes and stretched the sleeping bag along the bus stop passenger bench. Feet

first, Evan wiggled his way inside. Questioning the safety of his belongings, he slept with his shoes on.

The cool air of the night made Evans ears burn while they remained exposed outside his sleeping

bag. Though the bench was not giving any means of comfort to his back, Evan found himself very snug.Only up from the bridge of his nose was left outside of his cocoon of fabric. Looking up at the few stars he

could see past the over powering city lights, Evan waited until he skipped into sleep.

Evan was awoken by a poke into his forehead. He grunted and rolled on his side, still majorly

asleep. A series of quick pokes in the same spot finally rustled Evan to complete consciousness. He rolled

his feet off the edge of the bench and sat up rubbing his eyes. The sting of cool air bit at his unprotected

face when he turned to see what had awoke him.

A very young boy, maybe five years old, stood at his mothers side beside the bus stop bench.

Seeing the childs pestering to awake Evan, the mother shook the boys arm and hushed him in shame.


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When the mother noticed Evans looks of question toward her and her child, she tightened her grip on

her little boys arm and looked away quickly. Evan detected her worry and hesitation toward him and feltslightly vilified.

He could see they were waiting for a bus but did not want to disturb him sleeping on the bench to

sit there themselves. Evan scooted to the far side of the bench, clearing a large portion for them. The

mother glanced down to see Evan move but, just as quickly as before, looked away and pulled her childcloser to stray from attention. Feeling more ashamed at his perceived presence as a bum, Evan

subconsciously straightened his posture and straightened his wool hat over both ears. He itched at this

thigh and felt the photo inside his pants pockets.

Maam, said Evan pulling the photo from his pocket into view, excuse me, the mother of the

small child shifted her weight away from Evan and looked at him in worry as she covered her child with

her arm, I was wondering if you had seen this girl. Evan leaned forward holding out the photo. The

mother first delayed in hesitation then cautiously reached out and took the photo from Evans hand. Themother examined the picture then Evan, back and forth. Im Im waiting for her. The mothers face

softened and she stood straight, again.

I cant say that I have seen her. She does look familiar though. The woman handed Evan back the

photo. He took it and sat disappointedly viewing it in his lap. Is she missing? asked the mother withconcern.

From me, she is

The mother stepped around her child and sat next to Evan on the metal bench. Why did she

leave?

Evan pinned his eyebrows in question to himself before he replied. I dont know for sure, but Iknow I didnt do enough to prevent it.

The mother sighed quietly and lifted her son onto her lap. Im sure she will be back. Evan smiled

politely but rejected the idea in his body language of continued unhappiness.

The six AM bus pulled up to the stop and hissed as it parked. The mother lifted her son to stand

ahead of her and she stood herself. The buss doors opened and the mother led her child up the steps.

If you see her, called Evan to the mother. She turned her head to hear him, could you tell herwhere I am? She nodded and smiled sadly back.

As the bus disappeared from sight Evan settled back against his bench and his stomach rumbled

painfully. He remembered he had not eaten since the morning before on his trip there from his parentshome. He rubbed at his stomach to ease the ache and looked back over his shoulder at his apartment

complex.

The toilet inside Evans bathroom flushed and Evan exited draying his hands. He moved quicklyand opened each of his kitchen cabinets. From inside each, he grabbed every pre-made meal, can of food,

and preserved snack he had and shoved them inside a plastic shopping bag. From his small pantry he

filled the remaining space of his shopping bag with bottled waters. In quick moments, he was back sitting

on his bus stop bench. At his feet was his duffle bag, refilled with his rolled sleeping bag and now holding

his bag of travel foods. Because the sun had yet to rise over the distance buildings, the shadowed landEvan sat was still as cold as it was nearing the beginning of the night. Leaning on his elbows, Evan rested

his hands inside his coat pockets preserving warmth.

Rounding the corner of the street to Evans left, an older woman walked briskly to the bus stop. She wore a fluffy tan winter coat and a thick knitted white scarf wrapped around her neck that crossed in

a knot over her chest. As she walked, she held her brown purse with both hands ahead of her abdomen

and sat at the bench next to Evan in the same proper form.

Evan shivered once and politely smiled up in her direction. Responding to Evans silent greeting,the older lady spoke her hello, Good morning young man. You look a little chill.


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Evan smiled greatly and nodded his head.

Well, you would probably be a lot warmer waiting on this nasty ol bench a little less before yourbus, the woman smiled with her plump face.

I dont really have a choice on that. The older woman looked at him in pleasant query. Imwaiting for someone.

Is this the bus they are getting off?Evan shrugged. I dont know.

The older woman looked perplexed and turned more toward him. When is this person supposedto arrive?

Evan reached into his pocket and removed his photo. Have you seen this girl? Evan displayed the

photo to the older woman. The woman opened her purse and took a small pair of glasses from inside and

placed them on her nose.

No she said as she examined the photo, no, I dont believe I have. She removed the glassesfrom her face, folded them, and placed them inside her purse again.

She used to use this bus stop. Evan took a deep breath. But, I dont know, anymore.

The older woman settled in her set and asked Evan in a motherly comforting tone, tell me your

story, honey.Evan sat next to the older woman explaining his reason for sitting where he was. For ten minutes

Evan spoke. The women did not say a word but nodded and acknowledged Evan the whole way through

his tale. At no time did she show a sign of skepticism or disbelief, even when Evan spoke in tones to ready

her for incredulity. She simply sat and listened. Once concluded and finishing his story in the present,

Evan took another deep breath and looked out over the road ahead.

The older woman sighed and re-sat herself for comfort. It seems you have your troubles about

you. Evan nodded. The woman cleared her throat and placed a hand on his shoulder. Things turn out. I

cant tell you if they will turn outhow you plan or how you hope or even how you think possible, but

something will happen. Evan looked up at her. And you will know when it does. Just wait for it.Evan quietly chuckled and sat upright. Yeah I guess that is all I have left to do.

The seven oclock bus pulled up to the stop and hissed as it parked. The older woman lookedacross at the bus and rose to her feet, purse in hand. She turned to Evan and extended her hand.

My name is Betty.Evan stood and held out his hand. My name is Evan.It was a pleasure to meet you, Evan, said Betty smiling. Evan smiled back and watched her step

away toward the bus. Before she stepped up onto the buss first step, Evan called for her.If you see her, could you tell her where I am?Betty smiled and replied, Of course, Honey.

The air warmed as the sun rose after each passing minute. Evan stripped from his winter coat and

folded it along side his bag of foods and sleeping bag in his duffle. Higher the sun got, more he rolled up

his sleeves. The lady, who walked her small dog the day before, passed the opposite side of the street. The

filthy man with the tore clothing greeted Evan in his near unrecognizable form of English and leftpromptly on the next bus.

More pedestrians walked the sidewalks but little to no one gave Evan even a glance. In the rare

instance a passer-by would wait at Evans stop he would try to greet them as he would any other personin conversation. Most would smile and go about standing away from him and others would completely

ignore him. In attempt to make bus waiters more comfortable he would only sit on the far side of the

bench, but no one sat.

After each attempt to communicate with a stranger Evan would hold the picture of himself and the

girl from his past in front of him and ask if they had seen the girl. Some people would look over the


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picture in Evans hands and others would take it from him and examine it in their own. Some would

simply dismiss him but all gave an emptiness of answers. No person passing the bus stop Evan sat at

knew the girl of his past and no one had recognized seeing her before.

Evan sat motionless. He sat there, without hope. The clacks of feet and the buzz of cars surrounded

him and passed by each minute of each hour. The warmth of the sun faded from his mind and the brisk

air began to ring a tune of emptiness. Evan felt himself molding into the bench he sat. He was invisibleand alone.

As the evening came, Evan covered himself with his coat. Eventually, he unrolled his sleeping bag

and slipped inside. The night was just as cold as the one before and the next day came just as quickly.

Itchy and dry, Evans throat gave him an uneasy morning. He stretched his legs around the bus stops

square emplacement, refolded his sleeping bag, and began a new day to attempt learning more about the

girl from his past.

This day was just like the last. Evan sat invisible unless he approached a bus passenger or a

passer-by to ask them whether they had seen this girl and if they could tell her where he was. To Evans

recurring luck, nothing of hope was spoken back. The filthy man arrived at Evans stop on the dot of the

11 AM buss arrival and said another disoriented friendly greeting to Evan.

Another day came and passed Evan. After brushing his teeth while keeping in motion of a nearbylawn sprinkler, he sat and waited. In times when bored or when his legs would hurt him, he would pace

the benchs perimeter. Sometimes, he would lie on his back across the bench and count the airplanes that

passed overhead. Other times, Evan would try to guess the songs people would hum or whistle in his

proximity passing-by or boarding a bus. All the while, whether bored or straight minded, Evan held the

photograph of the girl from his forgotten past tightly in his hands. He had to find her. He didnt knowexactly why, or if he truly had lost his mind. The uneasy thought of his father being right about his mental

state grew inside him, but he needed more. He needed a greater reason to leave where he waited. He

needed a greater reason why he did not know her from his past. He needed to know why he needed her.

A police car drove slowly by the bus stop. Evan noticed the officers eyes peering through theirpassenger window across to him. Evan first paid them no attention but quickly came to notice their

persistence on patrolling the very small portion of street Evan occupied. After the second bus had comeand gone since Evan first noticed the patrolling officer, the same police car pulled along side Evans stop,

once again. This time, the car slowly came to a stop just ahead of the bus stops boarding area and a very

tall, broad police officer exited the vehicle.

The officer wore very reflective black glasses and walked with a sway in his arms showing his

movement was slightly obstructed due to his mass in muscle. He walked around the back of his patrol car

and approached Evan face to face.

Good evening, said the officer in a strong, assertive voice. Evan looked up at him as he

approached.

Hello, Evan said quietly. Before he had even refilled his lungs of air the officer spoke back.Youve been around here for a little while, said the Officer. Evan licked his lips and readied to

speak until the officer spoke again, Like, a few days. Evan stared hesitantly, not sure how to answer.The officer rested one of his hands on his pistol and the other on his belt. He tilted his head up and waited

patiently for Evan to reply. Evan straightened his coat sleeves and laced his fingers.

Just using the bus stop, sir.The officer quickly replied in what seemed a laze from previous repetition. Son, youre loitering.

Im sorry, but you cant stay here.Evan didnt shift a muscle. He sat more still than before. The officergrowled a deep breath and stepped closer. Son started the officer .

There is someone Im waiting for.


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Waiting for, eh? said the officer, withholding a laugh under his breath. How long do you plan to

wait here, he stared down at Evan with a half smile and looked all over him, a whole nother day? Evanlooked down at his feet.

A daya month a year Evan slowly looked up at the officer, as long as it takes sir. Theofficers smile lowered. He did not grow a frown or sense of anger, but a tension in his lips that seemed

sympathetic. Im not asking for money, said Evan, looking straight into the eyes of the policeman, andIm not taking

Documents

The Man Who Can’t Be Moved - by Blake McGinnis