The Nationals Enquirer August 11, 2008

8/14/2019 The Nationals Enquirer August 11, 2008

1/32

NATIONALSENQUIRER

Enquiring Swimmers Want to Know

AUGUST 11, 2008

~LET THE GAMES BEGIN~


2/32

2

N A T I O N A L S E N Q U I R E R A U G U S T 1 1 , 2 0 0 8

What coaching advice should we have listenedto months ago? What's the latest poolside

gossip? What's the inside scoop behind

yesterdays record swims? Enquiring

swimmers want to know. The infamousNationals Enquirer has dispatched its intrepidreporter to churn out copy for these hard-to-put-

down, photo-filled pages. Old news, rehashed,

performance enhancement breakthroughs

explained, the unavoidable serious article about

competing in our sport, and real-life human-

interest stories are all here. Look for updates ,

every day of the meet, and then some. Don't miss

a single lurid issue!

Pre-meet issues available exclusively on-line; limited numbers of abbreviatedmeet issues available in print at the Aquatic Center

Inside This IssueMeet Announcements----------3

Editorial Erudition-------------4

Readers Retort-----------------8

Coaches Corner----------------11

Volunteers Venue-------------14

Participant Profiles------------16

Oregon Trail- Mt. Hood

Jazz Festival, MHCC------17

Logistics Maps & More----18

Social Set-----------------------21

Swim Fans Forum-----------22Evolution of the Swim

Costume-------------------25


3/32

3


Important!

Notices & CorrectionsHeads up, Swimmers: Check In: Our early morning start to

competition makes deck-seedinglogistics challenging. The meetadministrators ask that entrants in thefirst events of the day CHECK IN ASEARLY AS POSSIBLE. Remember,online check-in opens Tuesday,August 112 at noon PDT, so dontwait until the last minute to check in!

Green Alert: The meet organizerswill be supplying water bottles to allparticipants at Registration, alongwith tape to affix your name. Pleaseuse the bottles throughout the meet (inlieu of throw-away plastic bottles) andreduce the USMS environmentalfootprint!

Socials: Tickets for both the Fridayand Saturday night socials are SOLDOUT. If you do not have a ticket andwish to attend, check at Registrationto see if any tickets have been turned

in for resale. Check-in at each Socialis required before entering; see furtherinformation inside.

Last Edition: This is the lastexpanded edition of the NationalsEnquirer. News and energypermitting, your editors will bepublishing and printing brief dailybulletins during the meet, and postingpictures on the host website:

www.lcnationals2008.net/

Gold Medal Sponsors will find somethingspecial in their Goodie Bags at registration.MacCallum Family Cellars has suppliedtheir 2003 Estate Malbec under a speciallabel prepared exclusively for the 2008USMS LC Nationals. Rated 90 by Wine

Enthusiast, this dark and tannic Malbec isdescribed as showing the intenseboysenberry character of the Northwest.Jim MacCallum describes the wine asready to drink now. Unless you canpersuade a Gold Medal Sponsor to share,you can only find MacCallum wines on-line(This family vintner produces only about1,200 cases of certified organic wines peryear). Find out more at:

www.maccallumwines.com.

WARNING:

This publication (if you want to call it that) is not the official, or any, communication of USMS, OMS, Mt.

Hood Community College, or any other responsible organization, nor is it a communication attributable to

the Meet Directors, who are men of few words (but mighty deeds in most situations). This publication is

intended solely as entertainment by athletes, for athletes. The opinions expressed by the editors and

contributors are entirely their own, God help them.


4/32

4


EDITORIAL ERUDITION

Swimming and the Athletic IdealWe witnessed some amazing spectacles in the competition pool when we attended the U.S. SwimmingOlympic Trials in Omaha. We also witnessed a few spectacles in other areas. The Trials are a meatmarket for coaches, athletes and sponsors. We sat next tolegends from past Olympics and rubbed shoulders withminor royalty in the sport. We also were exposed to some

of the grimy details of the sport that surprised us. Not theleast of these was a friendly argument between two verywell known coaches, one of whom claimed that swimmingin the U.S. was clean of any taint of doping, and the otherof whom claimed that it was far from clean, and had beendirty for years.

Maybe in delinquent recognition that their conversationwas occurring in public, the coaches agreed that theyprobably needed to have a private heart-to-heart about thesubject someday. We were shocked to overhear thisexchange. Is it possible that USA Swimming is not running a completely clean operation? Morelikely, is it possible that USA Swimming doesnt really know one way or the other?

A recent thought-provoking article asks whether all the focus on the Speedo LZR Racer, the TyrTracer and the BlueSeventy isnt just a smoke screen:

If you are old enough and have been around the Olympicswimming community long enough, the swimsuit swooning soundsfamiliar. Once before, in the 1976 Olympic Games in Montreal,when world records evaporated and 11 of a possible 13 gold medalswere gobbled up by the East German womens swimming team, theathletes from that country pointed to their suits.

It was the Lycra, they said.

Faster. Racier. Cutting edge.

And it was also one of the biggest red herrings in the history of theOlympic Games the 1970s version of the juiced baseball andnothing more than a technological justification to cover up thesystematic East German doping.

Charles Robinson, Yahoo! Sports, August 5, 2008,

http://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/news;_ylt=Ao8pW6iqK07nKx566DuYywyVTZd4?slug=cr-dopingsidebar080508&prov=yhoo&type=lgns
http://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/news;_ylt=Ao8pW6iqK07nKx566DuYywyVTZd4?slug=cr-dopingsidebar080508&prov=yhoo&type=lgnshttp://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/news;_ylt=Ao8pW6iqK07nKx566DuYywyVTZd4?slug=cr-dopingsidebar080508&prov=yhoo&type=lgnshttp://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/news;_ylt=Ao8pW6iqK07nKx566DuYywyVTZd4?slug=cr-dopingsidebar080508&prov=yhoo&type=lgnshttp://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/news;_ylt=Ao8pW6iqK07nKx566DuYywyVTZd4?slug=cr-dopingsidebar080508&prov=yhoo&type=lgns


5/32

5


Swimming and the Athletic Ideal, continued:

USA Swimming certainly seemed to have its head in the sand

about doping: the testing results for Olympic team memberswere produced so late that when Jessica Hardys positive resultbecame known, it was too late to replace her on the team. As aconsequence, two women missed their chance at achieving anOlympic berth (Tara Kirk in the 100 breaststroke and LaraJackson in the 50 free), and two 4

thplace finishers (each already

members of the team in different events) step into Hardysshoes. The result is wholly unsatisfactory: clean athletes arepenalized and the team itself is weakened. Certainly, with onlya little vigilance, and given the known deadlines, the results ofdoping tests conducted at Trials could have been available intime to avoid this outcome.

But this outcome, while bad, certainly isnt the worst scenariothat we can envision. What if one or more doping athletes getthrough the screening, are placed on the team and are latercaught? The fresh apple-pie, all-American, face of USASwimming will have been smeared, perhaps indelibly.

The last few days have seen a proliferation of articles raising thespecter of doping in swimming, either directly or indirectly.Most of these have been written by experts in other sports, whodont have the Pollyanna attitude of the coach we overheard whothought that it couldnt happen to us.

So, are the 42 world records broken since February, including atthe U.S. Olympic Swimming Trials, attributable to bettertraining, to the Suits, or to something more sinister? Disastersoccur when youre caught napping or, worse, when youre inself denial about the power and allure of the enemy.

Swimming in the U.S. is ripe for a doping scandal. There is adark underbelly to the glamour and glitz we saw at the QwestCenter. Daily prime-time coverage, fireworks on deck forrecord-setting swims, medal processions led by elegant podiumgirls and accompanied by a custom-written music score, an on-deck Master of Ceremonies and the liquid messaging waterfall these are the trappings of aprofessional sport.

Elite swimmers are no longer amateurs who attend college onathletic scholarship, earn their degrees and then move on into theworkforce. They turn pro, use their earnings to attend college(or skip college completely), and keep swimming through theirtwenties and into their thirties, supporting themselves onendorsements, prize winnings and appearance fees.


6/32

6



When your livelihood is dependent on athletic success, and

when your athletic success depends on staying ahead of arelentlessly chasing competitive field, the temptation is high totry anything that will enhance your performance.

And the means available for enhancement are almost unlimited.The spectrum starts with the widely accepted and legal,continues through the legal but controversial, and ends in theshadows of the illegal, undetectable and, at least publicly,reviled. Caffeine, ibuprofen and other painkillers and anti-inflammatories, asthma inhalers, creatine, high-altitude training,hypoxic altitude tents, sports supplements (fat loss products,protein powders, cellular energizers, and mood enhancers,among others), steroids, EPO, human growth hormone, blood

doping and gene doping all lie along this spectrum.

If you believe the worst, Jessica Hardy ventured into the far endof this spectrum and intentionally ingested a substance that shethought would give her a performance boost. At best, she stayedin the mid-range of the spectrum, ingesting a dietary supplementthat she thought was legal and would give her a performanceboost (but was tainted). Either way, she appears to have beensucked into the vortex of the performance enhancementspectrum can we really believe that hers is an isolated case?

A doping scandal tars not only the culprits; it casts suspicion onevery participant in a sport, no matter how upstanding. Witness

professional cycling, where every extraordinary performerseems to be followed by a baying pack of journalists trying toundermine his accomplishments.

Now, at this crossroads for the sport, USA Swimming cantafford to have its head in the sand on the issue of doping. IsUSA Swimming doing everything it can be doing to assure thatits National Team athletes are clean? Do Masters Swimmers, asparticipants, fans and advocates of the sport, have aresponsibility to swim clean and to insist publicly that our elitenational swimmers embody the athletic ideal underlying theancient Greek games, a healthy mind in a healthy body? DoesMasters Swimmings focus on age-group world records and

age-group world-leading times obscure a more compelling goalfor non-professional adult athletic competition, i.e., lifelonghealth and fitness, and fair play? Should Masters Swimmers bedoing more to promote swimming and athletics as a means to anend, rather than an end in itself, with the end being that athletesbecome principled contributors to society?


7/32

7



More Reading on the Doping Issue:Believe it or not: Clean Team USA?, by Josh Peter and Charles Robinson, Yahoo! Sports,August 5, 2008

http://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/news;_ylt=Ai_n99sz1muPJ5VRb9_wORWVTZd4?slug=ys-olympicdoping080508&prov=yhoo&type=lgns

They're Not Pros, but They Cheat Like Them, Amateurs Increasingly Turn to Drugs for an

Extra Edge, by Laura S. Jones, Special to The Washington Post, August 5, 2008http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/08/01/AR2008080102590.html

Changing U.S.s gold standard for the better, by Dan Wetzel, Yahoo! Sports, August 5,2008

http://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/news?slug=dw-doping080508&prov=yhoo&type=lgns

Swimming fits the doping scandal profile, by Charles Robinson, Yahoo! Sports, August 5,2008

http://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/news;_ylt=Ao8pW6iqK07nKx566DuYywyVTZd4?slug=cr-dopingsidebar080508&prov=yhoo&type=lgns

USA Swimmings statement on Jessica Hardy withdrawal and selection of replacement

athletes, followed by reader comments:http://www.swimmingworldmagazine.com/lane9/news/18710.asp?q=Open%20Letter%20to%20Swimming%20Community%20from%20USA%20Swimming

FRANK AND ROBIN PARISI, EDITORS, PUBLISHERS AND

ROVING REPORTERS FOR THE NATIONALS ENQUIRER, LIVE AND SWIM (BUT HAVING RECENTLY RETIRED, DO

NOT WORK) IN PORTLAND, OREGON, AND KONA, HAWAII.

WE INVITE MASTERS SWIMMERS VISITING KONA WHILE

WE ARE IN RESIDENCE THERE TO CONTACT US FOR A

PERSONAL ESCORT ON THE IRONMAN WORLD

CHAMPIONSHIPS SWIMMING COURSE, STARTING AT THE

PUBLIC PIER IN DOWNTOWN KONA. IN ADDITION TO BEING PERHAPS THE BEST OPEN WATER SWIMMING

VENUE FOR HUMANS ANYWHERE, IT IS SOMETIMES

FREQUENTED BY SPINNER DOLPHINS, MANTA RAYS, AND

OTHER FRIENDLY AQUATIC CREATURES WHO HAVE A

THING OR TWO TO TEACH HUMANS WHEN IT COMES TO

SWIMMING.
http://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/news;_ylt=Ai_n99sz1muPJ5VRb9_wORWVTZd4?slug=ys-olympicdoping080508&prov=yhoo&type=lgnshttp://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/news;_ylt=Ai_n99sz1muPJ5VRb9_wORWVTZd4?slug=ys-olympicdoping080508&prov=yhoo&type=lgnshttp://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/08/01/AR2008080102590.htmlhttp://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/08/01/AR2008080102590.htmlhttp://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/news?slug=dw-doping080508&prov=yhoo&type=lgnshttp://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/news?slug=dw-doping080508&prov=yhoo&type=lgnshttp://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/news;_ylt=Ao8pW6iqK07nKx566DuYywyVTZd4?slug=cr-dopingsidebar080508&prov=yhoo&type=lgnshttp://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/news;_ylt=Ao8pW6iqK07nKx566DuYywyVTZd4?slug=cr-dopingsidebar080508&prov=yhoo&type=lgnshttp://www.swimmingworldmagazine.com/lane9/news/18710.asp?q=Open%20Letter%20to%20Swimming%20Community%20from%20USA%20Swimminghttp://www.swimmingworldmagazine.com/lane9/news/18710.asp?q=Open%20Letter%20to%20Swimming%20Community%20from%20USA%20Swimminghttp://www.swimmingworldmagazine.com/lane9/news/18710.asp?q=Open%20Letter%20to%20Swimming%20Community%20from%20USA%20Swimminghttp://www.swimmingworldmagazine.com/lane9/news/18710.asp?q=Open%20Letter%20to%20Swimming%20Community%20from%20USA%20Swimminghttp://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/news;_ylt=Ao8pW6iqK07nKx566DuYywyVTZd4?slug=cr-dopingsidebar080508&prov=yhoo&type=lgnshttp://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/news;_ylt=Ao8pW6iqK07nKx566DuYywyVTZd4?slug=cr-dopingsidebar080508&prov=yhoo&type=lgnshttp://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/news?slug=dw-doping080508&prov=yhoo&type=lgnshttp://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/news?slug=dw-doping080508&prov=yhoo&type=lgnshttp://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/08/01/AR2008080102590.htmlhttp://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/08/01/AR2008080102590.htmlhttp://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/news;_ylt=Ai_n99sz1muPJ5VRb9_wORWVTZd4?slug=ys-olympicdoping080508&prov=yhoo&type=lgnshttp://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/news;_ylt=Ai_n99sz1muPJ5VRb9_wORWVTZd4?slug=ys-olympicdoping080508&prov=yhoo&type=lgns


8/32

8


READERS RETORT

Dear Editors:

The following might interest readers of the Nationals Enquirer. It is excerpts from A PsychoanalyticAnalysis of Swimming, published several years ago in a specialized German psychoanalytic journal.The entire article is more than 800 pages long, and it is believed that no single person has yet finishedreading it. Fortunately, some of the most thought-provoking sections have been translated intoEnglish, although as of yet they have never appeared in any publication readily available to thegeneral public.

I first learned of the existence of the work from a fellow masters swimmer, who saw the excerptswhile thumbing through psychiatric publications while attending a group therapy session for distancebutterflyers.

My understanding is that Professor Schinkel, the author, was an avid swimmer himself, and regularlyswam with several fellow psychoanalysts at lunch. They often competed together in one-hour swimevents, unfortunately never reaching their potential due to the fact that their professional training ledthem to end the sessions after fifty minutes. At one event they attended at a pool in Berlin with aparticularly slippery tile deck, Professor Schinkel remarked that he had never seen so manyFreudians slip.

Sincerely,

Mike Dowd

Excerpts from

A Psychoanalytic Analysis of Swimming(Summarization and translation by Pr. Roland Schinkel, F.I.N.A.. Emeritus, from an article by

Pr. Klaus Zehetbauer, D.ps.A. in Sammlung (Journal of Psychoanalytic Science, V. XII, N. 4

Prologue

Swimming perhaps stands alone in the realm ofhuman activities due to the degree to which it exemplifiesthe physical manifestation of psychological regression.

Through the aqua-physical act of swimming, the speciesattempts to satisfy primal, sub-cognitive urges to relive itspre-sentient past as aquatic hydrophilic beings, through asimultaneous literal and figurative immersion into theaqueous environment of its primordial, proto-humanoid predecessors, regressive both in themanner and degree to which latent but ultimately unrealizable yearnings for the anti-terrestrial,maternal womb are pursued


9/32

9


A Psychoanalytic Analysis of Swimming, excerpts continued:

Swimming exhibits a paradoxical dichotomy. As the aquatic ape--predecessor of modern sentient man--emerged from the primordialswamp, his hydrophilic neurological wiring evolved to a state ofhydro-neutrality, then hydrophobia. As noted by Andropov, waterbecame ultimately a medium not of all-encompassing hydro-materiality, experienced through neo-cortical awareness, but rather a

physical, operative manifestation of the life/death duality, experienced through the conscious actof swimming only in conjunction with the concomitant life/death--or swim/drown--duality.

Hydroambiguous stroke

Nowhere is the paradoxical nature of the actof swimming more clearly manifested than in thestroke of breaststroke. From a psychoanalyticviewpoint, the breaststroke is compelling not only

from the teleological sense as an externalmanifestation of sub-conscious impulses (does not theantecedent of neuro-motor reflexivity induce parallel

tautologies?) but equally as a physical act so revealing of thedelicate balances separating the realms of life and death, orexistence and non-existence

If (breaststroke) exposes the paradoxes ofswimming, in no stroke more than the hydro-ambiguousbreaststroke are swimmings psychoanalytical impulses moreclearly expressed. In laymans terms, the breaststroker, unlikepractitioners of the other, more straightforward and logical

strokes, seemingly cannot decide (or on a subconscious, supra-ego level, does not understand) ifhe should be in or out of the water. And nowhere within the stroke are these issues more clearlyexposed than in the progression from the insweep and upsweep, through the lunge whichdefines the modern breaststroke. It is not unreasonable to posit that, in the course of one strokecycle, the breaststroker reenacts and relives the entire evolution and existence of the human

species.

Continued . . .


10/32

10


A Psychoanalytic Analysis of Swimming, excerpts continued:

As the insweep--the inward adductive portion of the breaststrokers arm

stroke--progresses into the arms-forward upsweep, the body rises, leavingthe aqueous environment in a hydrophobic quest for the terrestrial. As thetorso emerges from the water, the spinal column reshapes itself from theconcave to the convex, in anticipation of the lunge, which will propel theswimmer forward over and back into the water. The swimmer at this stagereaches a point of hydro-ecstatica, an addictive state in which the bodyenters a nirvana-like yet simultaneously angst-laden universe of ultimateweightlessness and ultimate ambiguity, a suspension of materiality betweenthe dueling realms of land and water, and between the opposing states oflife and death (the aquatic signifying life for thehydrophilic component of the consciousness, theterrestrial playing a concomitant role for its

hydrophobic counterpart). Almost immediately,however, is initiated a hydrophilic lunge into therealm of the aquatic, an unambiguousprogression forward in the sense of the physicalor corporeal realm, yet in synchronicity anequally unambiguous regression backwards froma psychological standpoint. The re-submergenceof the body brings a corresponding return fromthe supra-cortical chaos of the anti-aquatic intothe limbic remembrance of the collective unconsciousness, a resolutioncomplete yet ultimately evanescent, as the next stroke cycle brings the

swimmer towards an Atlas-like repetition of dualities.

#Ed. Note: Mr. Dowd is known to the editors as a member of Oregon Masters Swimming, but is otherwise

shrouded in mystery. Since he accepted the OMS Big Splash award several years ago (for the most

competition swims of any OMS member), sightings of Mr. Dowd have been rare. Any inquiries

concerning this article should go directly to Mr. Dowd: he can be contacted standing behind Lane 8, just

prior to heat 10 of event 22, the Mens 100 M Breaststroke (he may appear muddled).

Attention! There will be an on-site therapysession for distance butterflyers during the afternoonportion of the meet, Thursday August 14, 2008, whenMeet Director Dennis Baker is expected todemonstrate the perils of butterfly obsession by

swimming the entire 1500 M Freestyle event using thebutterfly stroke. Among other issues, the session willfocus on rationales used by sufferers of the syndrometo justify their actions, e.g., it is easier to see thenumbers that the counter is holding at the end of thepool, I just seem to lose my aerobic conditioningwhen I taper too much, and those shorter distancesdont really put the BlueSeventy to the test. No pre-registration required; meet mid-pool in the spectatorstands.


11/32

11


COACHES CORNER

Dry Off and Swim Faster!

By Mo Chambers

Dryland training for swimmers is not new news. I remember the earlymorning routine of push-ups, sit-ups, and surgical tubing sets with my

AAU-club teammates. We followed the circuit with a brief stretchingroutine and then it was onto the main thrust of our training swim,swim, and swim some more.

Fast forward to 2008 and dryland training for swimmers is a front-pageitem. In fact, the term dryland has expanded to much more than Iremember as an age grouper. Today, the most successful out-of-the-pool training programs are designed with three essential components strength training, stretching, and massage. When all three of theseelements are effectively integrated, the result is improved core stability,increased flexibility, and more strength and power. In swimming, thistranslates to longer, stronger, more balanced strokes and explosivestreamlines and dives. Combine this with a higher resistance to injury and it is easy to see why

swimmers of every level are making all three aspects of dryland training a priority.

Stretching

Although there are many different types of stretches, twovery simple forms of stretching that fit easily into aswimmers program are dynamic and static. Dynamicstretches, such as arm circles and walking lunges, are bestperformed before a workout. Make the movements long,slow, and within your range of motion. The goal ofdynamic stretches is to relieve tightness while increasingpliability in the muscles. Reserve time at the completion

of your workout for static stretches, wherein you stretchthe muscle to its maximum range of motion and hold for 10 20 seconds. Repeat each static stretch 2 3 times and relax and breathe comfortably. The goal of static stretches is to improve range ofmotion.


12/32

12


Dry Off and Swim Faster, Continued:

Dara Torres, an advocate of resistance stretching, refers to hertwo personal stretchers as her secret weapons. With their one-hour of rigorous post-workout stretching, Dara reports a quickerrecovery from training efforts and increased flexibility.Resistance stretching, in which the muscle is simultaneouslyelongated and contracted, is an element of the MeridianFlexibility System, founded by Bob Cooley. Training programsare available to learn how to self-stretch and partner-stretch withthis technique.

StrengtheningTrainers and coaches agree that swimmers achieve the best results from astrengthening program by training all the swimming-specific muscles, as well asstabilizing the reciprocal muscles for a full-body routine. One of the primary areasof focus for swimmers, and all athletes for that matter, in is the midsection, orcore, of the body. By working with bands and free weights, athletes are able toengage their bodys stabilizing muscles as they work through the full range ofmotion on each exercise. Furthermore the free-weight option allows for muchmore variety in your workouts, allowing you to target your workouts to improvingendurance, strength, or power.

There are many options for swimmers with limited time or who arenot inclined to step into the weight room at the gym. A basicstrength-training program can be accomplished almost anywhere,including your home, a hotel room while traveling, or on a pool deck

with friends. By using bands, balls, your own body weight, and alittle creativity, you can exercise all the major muscle groups withoutever going to a gym.

Massage

The third and often overlooked component of dryland trainingis massage. Many swimmers are unaware of the big paybacksthat massage can bring to the success of both their stretchingand strengthening programs and ultimately their swimming. Atraditional Swedish massage will leave muscles relaxed andready for effective stretching. Alternatively, a deep tissuemassage is effective in breaking up knots in the muscles and

flushing toxins and lactic acid that result from training.Although more painful, the deep tissue option will noticeably

loosen up muscles, allowing for quicker recovery and increased flexibility. At a minimum, everyswimmer should have a foam roller to roll out their tired muscles, increase blood flow, and improverecovery.


13/32

13


Dry Off and Swim Faster, Continued:

Think Outside the PoolThe scene on the pool deck is dramatically different from my experience as an age grouper. Medicineballs, Swiss balls, foam rollers, stretch cords, and free weights now sprinkle the picture and combinefor a unique variety of exercises designed to develop better balanced, stronger, and more powerfulswimmers. As you assess your performance at this meet and reflect on how to make changes in yourtraining program, I encourage you to think outside of the pool. Make strength training, stretching,and massage a priority and bring your performance in the water to a new level.

Mo Chambers has been coaching Masters swimming in northern

and central California for the past 20 years and is relocating with

her husband and two sons to the Pacific Northwest this fall. She

was named Pacific Coach of the Year in 1995 and USMS Coach of

the Year in 1996. USMS also awarded Mo the 2006 Dorothy

Donnelly Service Award in recognition of her service to Masters

Swimming. Recently Mo co-authored, with Jim Montgomery,Mastering Swimming, which will be available in October in 2008.

Start Your Massage Therapy at Nationals!

Massage therapy will be available to participants throughout the meet. The massage station will be located in thetented area of the soccer fields, adjacent to the pool (see maps under Logistics). A variety of services will be

available from more than a half dozen massage therapists under the coordination of Dr. Seth Alley, DC, andMichelle Ogden, LMT.

Dr. Alley practices at Sylvan Chiropractic Clinic, LLC, Portland (BA, Davidson College, N.C.; DC, WesternStates Chiropractic College, Portland, OR). Dr. Alley practices in all areas of chiropractic, (e.g., sports injuries,auto collision injuries, physical therapy and rehabilitation, nutritional counseling, food allergy/sensitivity testing,and cholesterol screening) but is especially interested in sports medicine and women's health.

Ms. Ogden is a licensed Oregon massage therapist. She owns Ambrosia Massage in Beaverton (503-330-4020).She specializes in deep tissue and sports massage.


14/32

14


VOLUNTEERS VENUE

NONE OF THIS WOULD BE POSSIBLE WITHOUT . . .

THE MEET REFEREE! Its in the Rules ~~ The USMS Rule Book specifies that the minimum personnel at a USMS-sanctioned meet must include one referee. In the case of the USMS 2008 LC National

Championships, the meet referee is . . .

JACKI ALLENDER

Jacki looks like a carefree lady in this picture, but dont be fooled. The meet referee is responsible forjust about everything that occurs at the meet; specifically, she has full authority over all officials andshall assign and instruct them; shall enforce all applicable rules and shall decide all questions relatingto the actual conduct of the meet, the final settlement of which is not otherwise assigned by said rules;[and] can overrule any meet official on a point of rule interpretation or on a judgment decisionpertaining to an action that the referee has personally observed. In other words, the buck stops withJacki!

Dont worry though. You are in good and experienced hands. Jacki is probably Oregons most augustswimming official. She works selflessly (and tirelessly) throughout the year, every year, at both USASwimming and USMS-sanctioned meets. She serves as OMSs Chair of Officials, is the mother of aformer USA Swimmer, and the wife of current USMS swimmer Pat Allender. This summer aloneJacki has officiated, often filling the role of referee or administrative referee, at various local age-group meets, the Speedo Western Long Course Championships, the USA Swimming 2008 WesternZone Championships, and the U.S. Open. In fact, shes been working a meet almost continuously forthe entire summer!


15/32

15


VOLUNTEERS VENUE, THE MEET REFEREE,Continued:

Even someone as experienced as Jacki, though, is not impervious to nerves. Ask her how she feltwhen she took to the deck as one of the chosen few who served as officials at the U.S. OlympicSwimming Trials in Omaha. Jacki recently described her experience in the OMS monthly newsletter,saying It was such an honor and a thrill for me to be there. It is so difficult to put into words how Ifelt. I had to keep pinching myself to make sure I wasnt dreaming. I really was only inches awayfrom many of the swimmers that made the 2008 Olympic Team and many that will represent the USin future Olympic games. It was the stuff that dreams are made of.

Jacki with her Game Face on at Olympic Trials

Jacki has assembled this group of dedicated officials who, along with Jacki, are prepared to put in longhours to make this Masters Nationals meet a reality:

Administrative Referee: Herb SchawbAssistant Administrative Referee: Gene Mielke

USMS Officials Liaison: Jan KavadasDeck Officials:

Pat Allender Richard Robinson John WukstichMike Andrews Henry Leung Edward Saltzman

Terri Tyynismaa Stan Benson Bob McMillanAl Smith Ken Breiding Fred Piggott

Tina Strahan Lee Carlson Leon PolitanoPam Snider Amy Emmett Linda Postma

Jim White Kevin Fraley Helen Raittinen

Marie Widestrom Ted Haartz Mark Rieniets

Joanne Wisniwski


16/32

16


PARTICIPANT PROFILESAt left, the Water Cube, Beijing

The Water Cube in Beijing will not be the onlyvenue hosting Olympic swimmers during the nextweek. Six Olympians are poised to part the watersof the Mt. Hood Aquatic Center pool. The line-upis below.

Graham Johnston, S. Africa1952 Helsinki, Mens 400 M & 1500 M

Freestyle, seventh Mens 4X200 MFreestyle Relay

Now residing in the Houston area.

Manny Sanguily, Cuba1952 Helsinki, Mens 200 M Breaststroke1956 Melbourne, finalist mens 200 M

BreaststrokeNow residing in Scarborough, NY.

Yoshi Oyakawa, USA1952 Helsinki, Gold Medal Mens 100 M

Backstroke;1956 Melbourne, finalist Mens 100 M

BackstrokeNow residing in the Cincinnati area.

David Radcliff, USA1956 Melbourne, 1500 M FreestyleNow residing in the Portland area.

Rick Colella, USA1972 Munich, finalist Mens 200 M

Breaststroke1976 Montreal, Bronze Medal, Mens 200

M Breaststroke

Now residing in the Seattle area.Claudia Poll, Costa Rica1996 Atlanta, Gold Medal Womens 200

M Freestyle, finalist Womens 400 MFreestyle

2000 Sydney, Bronze Medal Womens200 M Freestyle, Bronze MedalWomens 400 M Freestyle

2004 Athens, Womens 200 M and 400 MFreestyle

Now residing in Alajuela, Costa Rica.

Melbourne

Munich

Montreal

Atlanta

Sydney

Athens


17/32

17


THE OREGON TRAIL

ENTERTAINMENT CLOSE TO HOME:

THE MOUNT HOOD JAZZ FESTIVAL

Mt. Hood Community College, our host for Nationals, will alsobe hosting a great Oregon tradition August 15 through 17, theMt. Hood Jazz Festival. Annually for more than 25 years, theMt. Hood Jazz Festival has brought superior international,national and local jazz musicians to Gresham in August. Themain stage outdoor performances are augmented by smaller jazzvenues and other artistic and cultural events. The Festivalfeatures both ticketed and free events, and should affordNationals participants a nice break from swimming! Followingis a list of scheduled activities, many of which are free; find outmore, buy tickets and see a MHCC map at the Festival website,http://www.mthoodjazz.org/index.php.

Friday August 15: All performances on Friday are ticketed events and take place at the Mt. Hood Community CollegeTheater, all seats are reserved:

8:00 PM - Benny Green Trio followed by Diane Schuur

Saturday August 16:Ticketed Performances at the College Theatre, all seats are reserved; food and drink available on site before the show at the Courtyardright outside the College Theater:

8:00 PM - Mt. Hood Community College Alumni Band followed by Joey DeFrancescoFree Performances at the Courtyard Stage (just outside the theatre):

10:30 AM to 7:30 PM: various musicians; see website for detailsFree Activities, Visual Arts Village

9:00 AM to 5:00 PM: MHCC Art Show at Visual Arts Gallery11:00 AM to 12:00 PM and 12:00 PM to 1:00 PM: Documentary Perceptions Short Flicks (Visual Arts Theater):12:00 PM to 1:00 PM and 1:30 PM to 2:30 PM: A Taste of Pottery (Ceramics Studio) Seating limited to 10 adults (17

and over)3:30 PM to 4:30 PM: Jazz Readings by Lynn Darroch (Visual Arts Theater)

Activities Around CampusAll day: Nature Walk (approximately mile. Start at College Center)11:40 AM to 12:00 PM, 12:40 PM to 1:00 PM, 2:10 PM to 2:30 PM, and 3:25 PM to 3:45 PM: Planetarium Show

(Planetarium Shows last approximately 20 minutes. There is NO seating after the show starts):4:30 PM to 5:30 PM : Wine Tasting (Visual Arts Gallery) (21 and over, ID and a small fee is required):

Sunday August 17Free Performances at the Courtyard Stage (just outside the theatre):

10:00 AM to 6:00 PM: various musicians; see website for detailsFree Activities, Visual Arts Village

All day: artist booths, great Northwest food, a beer and wine garden and more!
http://www.mthoodjazz.org/index.phphttp://www.mthoodjazz.org/index.php


18/32

18


LOGISTICSDRIVING DIRECTIONSfrom PortlandInternational Airport (PDX) to the Aquatic Center:Start at: Portland Int'l Airport

1. Head northwest on NE Airport Way - 30 ft2. Slight left toward NE Airport Way (signs forLong-Term Parking) - 0.3 mi3. Turn left toward NE Airport Way - 0.1 mi4. Slight left at NE Airport Way - 1.9 mi5. Merge onto I-205 S/Veterans Memorial Hwy

via the ramp to Salem/Portland/I-84 - 1.9 mi6. Take exit 22 to merge onto I-84 E/US-30 Etoward The Dalles - 8.0 mi7. Take exit 17 toward Troutdale/Marine Dr. - 0.2mi8. Merge onto NW Frontage Rd - 0.5 mi9. Turn right at NW Graham Rd - 0.3 mi10. Continue on SW 257th Ave/SW 257th DrContinue to follow SW 257th Ave - 1.7 mi11. Continue on NE Kane Rd - 0.7 mi (look forAquatic Center signs)

Arrive at: NE Kane Rd & NE 17th Dr Gresham, OR97030 (follow signs to Aquatic Center)

You can find a map of the above route here (cut andpaste this address into your browser):

http://maps.google.com/maps?f=d&saddr=Portland+Int'l+Airport&daddr=45.543389,-122.409668+to:NE+Kane+Rd+%26+NE+17th+Dr,+Gresham,+OR+97030&hl=en&geocode=&mra=dpe&mrcr=0&mrsp=1&sz=12&via=1&sll=45.54834,-122.494615&sspn=0.11709,0.282555&ie=UTF8&z=12

Gresham 10-Day Forecast (as of Aug.9):

High /Low (F)

Precip. %

TodayAug 09

Showers 68/54 40 %

Sun

Aug 10Showers 72/54 40 %

MonAug 11

Partly Cloudy 81/54 20 %

Tue

Aug 12Mostly Sunny 80/57 0 %

Wed

Aug 13Mostly

Cloudy79/58 10 %

ThuAug 14

Sunny 87/59 10 %

FriAug 15

Sunny 87/62 0 %

SatAug 16

Sunny 88/59 0 %

Sun

Aug 17Sunny 83/57 10 %

Mon

Aug 18Showers 79/56 40 %

Last Updated Aug 9 07:04 a.m. PT

To see a current update of this forecast, go here:http://www.weather.com/outlook/health/airquality/tenday/USOR0148?from=36hr_fcst10DayLink_aq

Links to Useful Gresham Information:Gresham Restaurants:

http://www.pdxstump.com/directory/gresham/restaurant?tagMin=14The Gresham Outlook (local paper): http://www.theoutlookonline.com/news/index.phpGuide to farm produce/farmers markets: http://www.tricountyfarm.org/MAX and public bus schedules: http://www.trimet.org/Gresham walking trails (with map link):

http://www.ci.gresham.or.us/departments/des/parksandrec/trails/Other Gresham links: http://www.el.com/to/gresham/
http://maps.google.com/maps?f=d&saddr=Portland+Int%27l+Airport&daddr=45.543389,-122.409668+to:NE+Kane+Rd+%26+NE+17th+Dr,+Gresham,+OR+97030&hl=en&geocode=&mra=dpe&mrcr=0&mrsp=1&sz=12&via=1&sll=45.54834,-122.494615&sspn=0.11709,0.282555&ie=UTF8&z=12http://maps.google.com/maps?f=d&saddr=Portland+Int%27l+Airport&daddr=45.543389,-122.409668+to:NE+Kane+Rd+%26+NE+17th+Dr,+Gresham,+OR+97030&hl=en&geocode=&mra=dpe&mrcr=0&mrsp=1&sz=12&via=1&sll=45.54834,-122.494615&sspn=0.11709,0.282555&ie=UTF8&z=12http://maps.google.com/maps?f=d&saddr=Portland+Int%27l+Airport&daddr=45.543389,-122.409668+to:NE+Kane+Rd+%26+NE+17th+Dr,+Gresham,+OR+97030&hl=en&geocode=&mra=dpe&mrcr=0&mrsp=1&sz=12&via=1&sll=45.54834,-122.494615&sspn=0.11709,0.282555&ie=UTF8&z=12http://maps.google.com/maps?f=d&saddr=Portland+Int%27l+Airport&daddr=45.543389,-122.409668+to:NE+Kane+Rd+%26+NE+17th+Dr,+Gresham,+OR+97030&hl=en&geocode=&mra=dpe&mrcr=0&mrsp=1&sz=12&via=1&sll=45.54834,-122.494615&sspn=0.11709,0.282555&ie=UTF8&z=12http://maps.google.com/maps?f=d&saddr=Portland+Int%27l+Airport&daddr=45.543389,-122.409668+to:NE+Kane+Rd+%26+NE+17th+Dr,+Gresham,+OR+97030&hl=en&geocode=&mra=dpe&mrcr=0&mrsp=1&sz=12&via=1&sll=45.54834,-122.494615&sspn=0.11709,0.282555&ie=UTF8&z=12http://maps.google.com/maps?f=d&saddr=Portland+Int%27l+Airport&daddr=45.543389,-122.409668+to:NE+Kane+Rd+%26+NE+17th+Dr,+Gresham,+OR+97030&hl=en&geocode=&mra=dpe&mrcr=0&mrsp=1&sz=12&via=1&sll=45.54834,-122.494615&sspn=0.11709,0.282555&ie=UTF8&z=12http://www.weather.com/outlook/health/airquality/tenday/USOR0148?from=36hr_fcst10DayLink_aqhttp://www.weather.com/outlook/health/airquality/tenday/USOR0148?from=36hr_fcst10DayLink_aqhttp://www.pdxstump.com/directory/gresham/restaurant?tagMin=14http://www.theoutlookonline.com/news/index.phphttp://www.tricountyfarm.org/http://www.trimet.org/http://www.ci.gresham.or.us/departments/des/parksandrec/trails/http://www.el.com/to/gresham/http://www.el.com/to/gresham/http://www.ci.gresham.or.us/departments/des/parksandrec/trails/http://www.trimet.org/http://www.tricountyfarm.org/http://www.theoutlookonline.com/news/index.phphttp://www.pdxstump.com/directory/gresham/restaurant?tagMin=14http://www.weather.com/outlook/health/airquality/tenday/USOR0148?from=36hr_fcst10DayLink_aqhttp://www.weather.com/outlook/health/airquality/tenday/USOR0148?from=36hr_fcst10DayLink_aqhttp://maps.google.com/maps?f=d&saddr=Portland+Int%27l+Airport&daddr=45.543389,-122.409668+to:NE+Kane+Rd+%26+NE+17th+Dr,+Gresham,+OR+97030&hl=en&geocode=&mra=dpe&mrcr=0&mrsp=1&sz=12&via=1&sll=45.54834,-122.494615&sspn=0.11709,0.282555&ie=UTF8&z=12http://maps.google.com/maps?f=d&saddr=Portland+Int%27l+Airport&daddr=45.543389,-122.409668+to:NE+Kane+Rd+%26+NE+17th+Dr,+Gresham,+OR+97030&hl=en&geocode=&mra=dpe&mrcr=0&mrsp=1&sz=12&via=1&sll=45.54834,-122.494615&sspn=0.11709,0.282555&ie=UTF8&z=12http://maps.google.com/maps?f=d&saddr=Portland+Int%27l+Airport&daddr=45.543389,-122.409668+to:NE+Kane+Rd+%26+NE+17th+Dr,+Gresham,+OR+97030&hl=en&geocode=&mra=dpe&mrcr=0&mrsp=1&sz=12&via=1&sll=45.54834,-122.494615&sspn=0.11709,0.282555&ie=UTF8&z=12http://maps.google.com/maps?f=d&saddr=Portland+Int%27l+Airport&daddr=45.543389,-122.409668+to:NE+Kane+Rd+%26+NE+17th+Dr,+Gresham,+OR+97030&hl=en&geocode=&mra=dpe&mrcr=0&mrsp=1&sz=12&via=1&sll=45.54834,-122.494615&sspn=0.11709,0.282555&ie=UTF8&z=12http://maps.google.com/maps?f=d&saddr=Portland+Int%27l+Airport&daddr=45.543389,-122.409668+to:NE+Kane+Rd+%26+NE+17th+Dr,+Gresham,+OR+97030&hl=en&geocode=&mra=dpe&mrcr=0&mrsp=1&sz=12&via=1&sll=45.54834,-122.494615&sspn=0.11709,0.282555&ie=UTF8&z=12http://maps.google.com/maps?f=d&saddr=Portland+Int%27l+Airport&daddr=45.543389,-122.409668+to:NE+Kane+Rd+%26+NE+17th+Dr,+Gresham,+OR+97030&hl=en&geocode=&mra=dpe&mrcr=0&mrsp=1&sz=12&via=1&sll=45.54834,-122.494615&sspn=0.11709,0.282555&ie=UTF8&z=12


19/32

19


LOGISTICS, CONTINUED:

Gresham Location ofMt. Hood CommunityCollege

Map of Mt. Hood Community College Campus:


20/32

20


LOGISTICS, CONTINUED:The MHCC Athletic Facilities (you will find a more specific schematic of the AquaticCenter in your meet program, available at Registration):

Downtown Gresham, with parking:


21/32

21


LOGISTICS, CONTINUED:

Meet Shuttle Schedule(check page 15 in the Meet Program,in your registration packet at check-in, for complete details)

Route (repeating loop; estimated time, one loop per hour):

Best Western

Holiday Inn

Days Inn

Aquatic Center

Wednesday - 1st shuttle will leave Best Western at 12:00 noon. The last shuttle of theday will leave the pool at about 7:45 PM.

Thursday - 1st shuttle will leave Best Western at 6:00 AM. The last shuttle of the daywill leave the pool at about 9:45 PM.

Friday-Sunday - same as Thursday, except that, from 6-9 AM, three shuttles will beused! One shuttle will be dedicated to making round trips from eachhotel for the first three hours.

*Look for the Yellow School Bus


22/32

22


THE SOCIAL SET

Sad news for you procrastinators out there both event Socials are SOLD OUT. If you dont have aticket and are interested in attending, inquire at Registration whether any tickets have become available.Check-in is required to gain admission to both socials; a check-in table will be set up outside each event.And remember, if you would like to attend the on-site barbecue Saturday evening but do not have a ticket,you may bring your own picnic and join the fun.

Friday August 15 Saturday August 16Buffet style dinner at McMenamins EdgefieldManor. Arrive early and tour this 38-acre propertywhile enjoying Oregon wines and McMenamins

own handcrafted ales. The Manor is a nationalhistoric landmark that includes lush gardens, a par-3golf course and craftsmen studios. The food isprepared with seasonal ingredients fromEdgefields own organically grown gardens and thefinest local, organic, and sustainable ingredientswhenever possible.

Where: Edgefield Blackberry Hall and the adjacentMeadow.

When:6:00 Check-in outside of Blackberry Hall

begins6:00 Bars Open (2 cash bars one inside and

one outside)6:15 Food services starts (inside and outside)9:30 Outside food and bar service ends (in the

Meadow)10:00 Social ends

10:30 Last shuttle leaves EdgefieldDirections: Turn right on 17th drive (out of AquaticCenter parking lot); take next right onto 257th / KaneDrive and continue approximately 2.4 miles; turn leftonto W. Historic Columbia River Hwy., which turnsinto SW Halsey Street; in approximately .5 mileswatch for a small Edgefield sign on the left at 2126SW Halsey Street.

Family style barbeque at the Aquatic Centerprepared onsite by the national award winningcaterer Bistro Catering (bistrocatering.com). No-

host bar by Summerland Catering Services(summerlandcateringservices.com, featuring LuckyLabrador beers and Oregon wine. Live musicperformed by the local band ONE WAY TRAIN,whose influences include The Eagles, KennyRogers, AC/DC, Garth Brooks and many more.

Where: In the soccer field adjacent to the AquaticCenter

When:6:00 Check-in at the soccer fields begins6:00 Summerland Catering Cash Bar begins6:00 Food service begins7:30 The band ONE WAY TRAIN begins9:30 Food Service Ends10:00 Social Ends10:45 Last shuttle leaves the pool

Directions: None needed! Follow the Aroma.


23/32

23


SWIM FANS FORUM

ONE SECRET OF OLYMPIANS SUCCESSBy guest columnist Gustopher Googleman (Gus) Parisi

Many experts today agree that a best friend affords many stress-relieving and health benefits. While human friends providesome social support, this article focuses on the benefits of mansreal best friend, the dog. Among our many virtues, modernresearch shows that people are less likely to suffer fromdepression if they own a dog, that owning a dog is moreeffective in reducing blood pressure than taking drugs is, anddogs can reduce their humans stress level. Always at theforefront of scientific research, many swimmers on our Olympicteam turn to dogs for the emotional support they need in their medal hunt. Can you match the swimmer tohis or her dog(s)?

Answer Answer

MeganJendrick

PeterVanderkaay

Scott Spann Brendan

Hansen

KathleenHersey

LaceyNymeyer

RyanLochte

MichaelPhelps

KimVandenberg

NatalieCoughlin

A English Bulldog F German Short-haired Pointer

B Two Rottweilers, a mixed Chow G Jack Russell/Lab mix and Mini-Pinscher

C Black lab H Rhodesian Ridgeback and Mastiff/Retriever mix

D Two yellow labs and a hermitcrab (dog friendly)

I Rottweiler

E Border Terrier and Boxer J White Lab and Toy Poodle


24/32

24


ONE SECRET OF OLYMPIANS SUCCESS, Continued

AND THE ANSWERS ARE:

MichaelPhelps(A)

KathleenHersey(F)

RyanLochte(B)

MeganJendrick(G)

BrendanHansen(C)

LaceyNymeyer(H)

PeterVander-kaay(D)

KimVanden-berg(I)

NatalieCoughlin(E)

ScottSpann(J)

Gus Parisi, an apricot miniature poodle, swims not atall, but is fond of a warm beach chair and rubbinghisself in dead seagull guts.


25/32

25


BEER MASTERS MUSINGS

Its All about the Suit Evolution of the Swimming Costume in Western Civilization

By Frank Parisi

With all the interest and controversy about The Suit, as opposed to whats insidethe suit (namely The Athlete), your editors thought it might be of some interestto take a stroll through swimming history, to see how our sport got into the picklewe currently find ourselves in, to wit, the Suit being the $500-$600 indispensable

item in the swimmers arsenal. To place ourselves in the right frame of mind, wefirst availed ourselves of Dennis Bakers wallet, which we found on the deck rightbefore the 200 Fly. It contained an open ticket for brews drunk on the premises ofMcMenamins Edgefield. So here we are, with a couple of pints staring at us fromthe table, preparing for our research into athletic apparel history.

Perhaps our readers already know all about Australian Annette Kellerman, who inthe first decade of the 20th century became famous for her advocacy of the right ofwomen to wear a functional bathing suit, and who had to design her own suit forher English Channel attempts. Perhaps they also know how in 1932 AustralianClaire Dennis was criticized for showing too much shoulder blade at the LosAngeles Games, and how, in the 1936 Berlin Olympics, the Australian mensswimming team competed bare-chested for the first time (gasp!) in Speedo trunks. Maybe our readers

also remember the yards of fabric in the old suits, and recall how it wasnt until the 1970s that lycra andnylon were successfully woven together, and suits began to model the body inside them. We presume ourreaders remember that in 1996 Speedo introduced a proprietary fabric in its new AquaBlade suit, claiming

an 8% reduction in drag, and that its introduction of the Fastskin followed in 2000(supposedly inspired by the skin of sharks). This all culminated with the currentLZR RACER which, together with the other swim skin suits introduced in the lastyear, have ushered in the era when suits are weapons with which to attack the water.How in the world did we arrive here?

The Ancient Period -- Naked Nudity

In ancient Greece, which is a far back as this taverns research library extends,utterly no progress was made in the evolution of swimwear. We learn from

Euripides, Plato and Plutarch, and from a multitude of artistic depictions of the ancient games, that theathletes competed in the games buck naked(to use the lingua franca of Idaho)with only a thin coating ofolive oil to lubricate their magnificent bodies. Unfortunately this offered no commercial opportunity toanyone. If Portlands Phil Knight had been born, for instance, as Phidippide Papadolopous in Athens in575 BC, the date of the first Olympiad, he would have starved trying to sell his first sandal or loincloth witha swoosh.


26/32

26


Its All about the Suit, Continued:

The same attire was preferred in Rome. Although swimmers actually worked out in rectangular pools as aform of exercise, Roman swimmers, like the Greeks before them, competed naked as jaybirds. At first thismuddled our already fuzzy brains. But then the fog began to clear and we began to see the wisdom of the

ancient custom. We realized that swimming has always been a heroicactivity: the record for the longest swim in literature belongs to the Greekhero Odysseus, who after shipwreck swam across the sea for two days andtwo nights. Thats why Lord Byron swam the Hellespont (crossing fromEurope to Asia) in 1810, memorializing Leanders midnight swim andtryst with Hero. Thats the attraction of swimming from Europe to Africaacross the straits of Gibraltar. Thats why Benoit Lecomte swam acrossthe Atlantic (it took, 72 days, swimming 6 to 8 hours a day, every otherday). Thats why people all over the world travel to the cliffs over Doverevery summer to swim the channel to France, including at least 14 U.S.

masters swimmers this summer alone. And thats why people are competing here at Mt. Hood and in

Beijing. Competitive swimming is a heroic sport. The early Greeks also believed that there was, in nudity,something heroic and sacred. Or, as Bette Midler says, If you got it, flaunt it.

The Civilized (Ha!) European Period: War against the Water

It is a sad chapter in the social evolution of Europe that swimming by the common man before the middleof the 19th-century was thought to be both unnecessary and dangerous. It was as if the ancient worldsknowledge of athleticism, competition for honor among ones peers, and competitive swimming inparticular, had never occurred. We have a theory about this. To swim in Greece in an unheated pool is onething. To swim in London or Berlin in an unheated outdoor pond is quite another. Maybe it was becausethe science of making Portland cement, which cures under water and is the obvious material with which toconstruct a pool, was lost until the 19th Century -- maybe that was the reason there were essentially nocompetitive swimming venues for the public for so long. Whatever the cause, there were essentially nopools reserved for in the cities of Europe from the end of the Roman Empire until the middle of the 19thCentury. This meant that most swimming was done, if at all, in the sea, and more likely than not,involuntarily, and fully clothed, boots and all -- i.e., by way of capsizing. About the most dangerous thinga person could do in those days was venture onto the seas. People left on voyages, and sometimes theywere seen again and sometimes not. So the whole concept of swimming for most folks meant anunwelcome encounter with the sea in all its fury.

And yet, this whole situation is a little surprising, since atreatise on swimming, De Arte Natandi, was translated intoEnglish from the Latin in 1595 (about the same time as WillShakespeare finished writing Romeo and Julietand

Midsummer Nights Dream). The book showed the propermethod for the adventurous gentleman to use in a variety ofso-called strokes, as well as an ingenious way to pare his

toenails with a knife while floating on his back! But fewgentlemen learned to swim. Women, being chattel, werepresumed to have no interest in swimming (perhaps like theirpresumed lack of interest today in swimming the 1500 metersin Olympic competition, poor things). So for most people, swimming continued to be something not doneand certainly not done well.


27/32

27



Supposing a man was adventurous, had readDe Arte Natandi, and

actually wantedto get into the water, what would he wear? Well,it would make some sense to wear underwear, or at least thatseems to make sense to us today. By medieval times, someonehad invented pull-on underpants (as a substitute for the ancientworlds leather), but the only fabric made by the Europeans waswool. Nobility occasionally wore linen. By the time ofShakespeare, mens underwear had evolved to a set of separateleggings, with nothing in the middle. The codpiece in the time ofHenry VIII had started out as just a covering of that missing areain the middle. Henry had an image problem, and for him thecodpiece turned into a shapedpiece of clothing to emphasize hisown gigantic estimate of his virility, then fashionistas picked up

on a good idea and it became a piece shaped for even more dramatic effect, then in turn something that

needed some extra bulk added to it like padding in a bra, and eventually a handy sort of all-purpose pocketof sorts to stow stuff like car keys, Blackberry or iPhone, Cliff Bar, or you name it.

Out of all this underwear, none of it would have been suitable for swimming. Or maybe a better way to putis that out of all this early underwear, the only thing suitable for swimming was none of it -- hey! Just likethe Greeks. It really wasnt until 1793 and the invention of the cotton gin, and the development of largecotton plantations in the colonies and the mass production of cotton underwear, that a swimming costumehad even a chance of being invented. Only, thats not exactly what happened.

The great thing about cotton was that, unlike wool, it could be washed in hot water and soap, and wouldcome clean. Wool underwear was never really clean. It was oily with lanolin, was so rough it scratchedthe skin, and worst of all, smelled like a barnyard. When it got wet, its wearer smelled like somethingbetween a dead fish and a drowned cat. No one wanted to swim like that.

So what did the convergence of underwear and cottonproduce? You guessed it: the worst possible swim costume:The Union Suit, aka Long Johns, a wrist-to-ankle suit thatprobably would have guaranteed that competitive swimmingwould never catch on, although competitive drowning inLong Johns could easily have done so.

But not being able to swim in the water was not a great loss tofolks for whom even drinking the water was dangerous.

Nonetheless, we have seen engravings of persons who hitched up their horses and took their portable bathhouses down to the seaside and ventured a few feet out into the liquid realm -- but if the swimmer is stillattached to the bathhouse with a rope, with his servant on the other end of the rope, and is also clearlystanding on the sandy shore, can this really be called swimming? We say, No.

Our waiter has been eavesdropping at our laptop and has suggested that if we are looking for actual heroicswimming, we might want to turn our investigative eye off shore a bit. He may be on to something there --but who asked him?


28/32

28



The First Real Swimmer, Captain Webb, Crosses the Channel in a Woolie in 1875

The first successful trip across the English Channel was completed, on his secondattempt, by Captain Webb in 1875. He wore a long wool suit similar inappearance, if not function, to a Speedo Aquablade. Webb claimed he had atraining secret: he dined entirely on healthy liquids -- ale, brandy, coffee and codliver oil -- although he later said that the fish oil sickened him. He covered himselfwith porpoise oil, swam the breast stroke and side stroke and completed the swim,despite getting lost and heading in circles as he approached the shore of France.As to his clothing, he said that it was a week before he could wear a shirt collar,owing to a raw red hem at the back of my neck which rubbed him every time heput his head up to breathe. He was in the channel twenty-two hours. Webb latermade a living on the lecture circuit exhibiting his stroke in hastily constructed

tanks made of wood and iron, or swimming off the end of the local pier. The appeal of his act was its

novelty -- imagine a man swimming in the water like a fish! And even claiming to enjoy himself!

Amongst the Merchant Marine, No Promiscuous-like Indulgence in the Water Allowed

For most people, swimming remained terra incognita. It simply wasnt done, and when it was done, it wasnot approved of. The beer is not making us say this! To illustrate , read the following passage, in whichthe journalist Laurens Van der Post describes the conversation of two signalmen who stand guard at theentry to the port of Natal (now Durban) in South Africa in the early twentieth century. Mr. Clark and Mr.White (or Nobby and Nockers as they nickname each other), are harbor watchmen who perform a jobunknown today -- they act as the ships lifeguards signaling to the harbor merchants what each ship needs(including possible rescue) at one of the most difficult harbor entrances in the world.

Harry England was one of the senior and favourite of their pilots, not only because he

was extremely capable, but also because he had served as a Royal Naval Volunteer officer in theWorld War just behind them. I was to know him well and like him enormously because, in spiteof a certain sharpness and quickness of temper, not uncommon among men small in physicalstature (for he was a mere five foot six), his was a most generous and chivalrous spirit. Indeed, hewas due to die from drowning while trying to save the life of some unknown visitors who had gotinto trouble in the Indian Ocean surf that always boiled and bubbled along the sands of the northof the Point. . . .

It started by Mr. White asking me, as I appeared at the top of the ladder, whether I hadheard the news. At my Yes, both he and Mr. Clark went silent. They busied themselves withpreparing tea and putting out their supply of biscuits. I knew instinctively, however, how upsetthey were and myself remained silent as well. We were on our second cup of tea before Mr.White remarked, All the same, Nobby old man, I still think he did wrong ever to learn to swim.

The he, of course, was Harry England.

I know what you mean, Knocker old man, Mr. Clark replied thoughtfully, but I stillhold that if he hadnt leaned to swim we might never have known what manner of man he was,though we knew he was man enough.

This reply seemed to bring some meaning stirring deep down in Mr. White to the boil, forhe answered with an emphasis unusually sharp for him.


29/32

29



But he didnt have to prove himself that way. He didnt carry those ribbons and havethose gongs pinned on him by the King himself at the Palace for nothing, him as wrote his nameon all the seven seas, navigating our ships as well as liners, tramps, and the like. He provedhimself in the war along with the best of the officers you and I served under for thirty years ormore. He was sailor enough to have known that it was somehow wrong to have been one of thesenew kind of matelots who go swimming around. . . .

And, feeling that he had perhaps been rather vehement with a shipmate and friend, headded: Wouldnt you say, Nobby old man, that a sailor must trust the sea as his natural elementand most likely to do whats right by him and not just use it for pleasure by swimming about in it

as all these land-lovers do here for their promiscuous-like indulgence?

He paused, and then repeated his argument with grater precision. He must know, as allthe thousands of sailors before us came to know, that when his name, rank and number are calledby Providence, the sooner he goes to his home with respect and at the double, the better it must

be.

Speaking as someone who himself never took to swimming, or holds with it in anyparticular way, Mr. Clark replied, I must admit, Knocker old man, that you have a point, but . ..

Laurens Van der Post, Yet Being Someone Other, pp 49-52 (1982)

So, as you can see, the hostility to swimming penetrateddeep into the last century.

But where did we leave off on the swimming costume?I think we were at the point where knitted cotton was

available, and was clean, but it was not much used.Webb wore wool because cotton was too cold for thechannel, and he needed all the lard and insulation hecould get. From all we have been able to uncoverthrough diligent work in the archives (read: the maze-like garden at the Edgefield) this last half hour, Webbwas not alone. The only material that ever made it tothe shore was wool. If one wanted to be a competitive swimmer, one had to wear a so-called swimmingcostume.

The Modern Dilemma: Concealers v Revealers

Here we reach the main fork in the road. Besides protecting one from the wretched cold of unheated water,there was one other essential purpose of the swim costume: namely, to prevent observation of the genitalarea by members of the opposite sex. The funny thing is that once the swim costume was invented -- andwas more or less a wool version of sawed off cotton underwear -- a never ending battle began againstconcealment by those who realized that swimsuits offered just about the best way available to admire anathletically developed body. The war continues to this day between those who are trying to cover up theprivates (the concealers), and those who were trying to suggest there was more where that came from(the revealers).


30/32

30



Although it is getting late here at Edgefield, we are intrepidly pursuing every lead in our story. They seemto still believe that one of us is Dennis Baker, so we are still getting served. Here is what we havediscovered: In the early days, the privates area apparently consisted of 120% of the actual skin area ofthe body, judging by the looks of the early swim costumes, even if one is counting the various modestyskirts, frills, collars, ruffles, and hats and gloves included in the acreage of fabric employed in the earlysuits. For a woman, out-of-bounds areas included feet, ankles, calves, knees, thighs, hips, arms and chest.For men, the areas also included the usual areas, but also the chest. The only areas that were certain tohave no sexual interest to anyone of either sex were certain portions of the face and the shins. Propulsionthrough the water was only a secondary concern at this point in time due to the war between the concealersand the revealers.

At about this juncture, Ms. Kellerman designed her fitted one-piece swimming costume, got herselfarrested for indecency when she wore it in public, then produced her own line of swimwear.

As the Olympic movement took off in the modern era, competitive swimming finally took hold for good,

and the cold war between the concealers and the revealers heated up. Pools were constructed of all shapesand sizes, and all kinds of folks headed for the water, in all kinds of weather. With the aid of a good

barleywine in our cups, we have been able tocalculate that the area of the human body thatformerly needed to be kept from view apparentlyshrank rapidly at about the same rate as socialattitudes evolved to the point that admiring thehuman body wasnt entirely verboten. Surely thisdevelopment needs further study. Scientists havenever given an accurate explanation as to how thiscould have occurred, or how it has continued to thepresent day, where, for instance, women on thebeaches of South America and in a place called

France have an area of interest that is smaller than the wedding rings they so often leave in the seatcompartments of their Vespas -- or how, in places called Canada and the Midwest, it is always a toss upwhether to inflate the rubber raft at the state park or to inflate Mamas swimsuit.

In any event, no one can deny, as our research shows, that ever more areas of the human body were freedfrom the bondage of the swimming costume. By the 1960s, female competitive swimmers were basicallywearing some version of Kellermans tank suit (with or without a modesty skirt) and male competitiveswimmers were wearing some versions of the Speedo trunk (also known in Australia as dick pointers,sluggos, budgie smugglers, banana hammocks, etc).

Today, in 2008, the year of the 29th Olympiad, the concealers and the revealers have fought themselvespretty much to a standoff because the LZR Racer, the Blueseventy, the TYR Tracer and the other swimskinsuits are a total gamechanger. Now a competitive swimmer can either buy the weapons the arms merchants

are selling, or give up the chance to take home some iron.

This seems like a shame, at least from the vantage point of this evening at Edgefield. After losingcompletely the almost religious enthusiasm for athleticism in the water from the ancient games, and turningthe water into an enemy, the Europeans finally regained the idea that the swimmer should be an aquaticanimal, who was not afraid of the water, but was at home in the water. And with that came beauty in thewater, and reveling in the attractiveness of the athletes by way of tighter suits, better fabrics and fewerrestrictions on movement.


31/32

31



From our perspective here at the bar in Edgefield -- which is closing now, so weve got to wind this up --the swimming costume has come full circle and is headed off to Pluto again. Humanity has finally foundits way back to the point of embracing the aquatic environment, but the swim suit makers have missed theturn and gone back to attacking the water. The swimskin suits are undeniably fast, but at what price?Ugliness is a high price! We cant forget that swimming fast is heroic. No offense to the swimmersinvolved, but sometimes when we are looking at NBC with the sound off, we cant tell what gender, if any,some of the swimmers are. This is a shame, because the bodies of the swimmers seemed to embody theheroism of competing in the Games. For our two cents, which is about all thats left in Dennis Bakerswallet, we would go back to the war of the concealers versus the revealers, or better, to the Greeks.


32/32

32


GOOD LUCK SWIMMERS!

Documents

The Nationals Enquirer August 11, 2008