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00UT $4.50 ET $5.00

RSVP for the next United

Tailgate and BIH Kickball!

THEWEEKLYBREWTh e O f f i c i a l Week l y Maga z i n e o f NAK ID

Midseason Party May 2!!

OG Week 4

The Weekly Brew Spring 2009 - Week 4

NAKID - OG May 1, 2009 • 1

I

Departments

Events

3 NAKID Calendar

2 Ask NAKID Every week

we answer your questions about

Kickball, Flip Cup, Drunkball

and all things NAKID.

4 Lush of the Week5 NAKID Midseason Party! Get your Cinco de Mayo gear

ready for a night of free beer!

10 The Magic Eight Ball See

how your team ranks when it

comes to Flip Cup & Drunkball.

9 Game Recaps and Schedule

f you made it through last week’s games without melting, good for you! NAKID

took to the fields last week in near record heat but managed to have games actually finish uninterrupted by weather, tourists, or police!

The bar was a crazy scene this week, probably due to the guzzling of cold beer in an attempt to cool off. At the end of the night there were even men on the bar (oh no!) with whipped cream for the ladies (where DID that come from??). Way to step it up a notch, guys! It looks like Sunday is gunning to take the “Party Night” trophy from Thursday.

In this week’s issue, see who took the idea of a fishbowl rum and coke to the extreme,

9 I Don’t Remember Saying That!

who topped the flip cup rankings, and get info on our upcoming events, like the next DC United tailgate.

One important note: NO ALCOHOL is allowed on the Mall. If you get caught drinking alcohol by the police on the Mall, you will be kicked out of NAKID and possibly fined by the police! Drinking out of Solo cups is not fooling them; they have approached teams with alcohol in Solo cups and said they know what is going on. We don’t want to get kicked off our fields, so please, if you must play with a buzz, go to the bars before your game and leave the alcohol at home.

6 Beerlympics Recap Who walked away with the

bragging rights?

8 Kickball Ramblings

7 DC United gets NAKID plus Beer-in-Hand Kickball! Time for tailgate #2 with BIH

kickball!

The Weekly Brew Spring 2009 - Week 4

NAKID - OG May 1, 2009 • 2

How much beer do NAKIDs drink each

season?A lot. A LOT lot. Well, honestly, we don’t know the exact amount since we don’t track the bar sales, but each party has 10-15 kegs (sometimes 20), plus the free kegs at tailgates and for rained out games, plus your purchases at the bars, so our guess is: A LOT!Actually, rumor has it that NAKIDs are on track each year to drink more Coors Light than is served at FedEx Field in the Skins football season. So, eight football games multiplied by 90,000+ people divided by the number of different types of beers served . . . ok, who was a math major? Anyway, even if only 10% of the FedEx patrons drank Coors, we’re talking

ASKNAKID ?Each week we will provide the answers to your most burning questions. Best one of the week wins a free pitcher of beer. Please send questions to nakid2009@gmail.com.

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72,000 beers over the course of 8 weeks, and that’s a conservative estimate of each person only having one beer. Considering NAKID has about 1,800 members—way to go NAKIDs!!!

Why do dogs like to stick their heads out of car windows?

Amazingly, we couldn’t find any scholarly research to explain the behavior. Here are three theories we came up with...1. The sensation of a brisk wind against your face carrying with it scents and fast-moving sights is appealing to many humans, so imagine speeding against the wind with the ability to sniff up to a million times better and to perceive movement at a much quicker pace. For a dog, sticking its head out a moving car must be an all-around sense-sensation the magnitude

What, exactly, is a “hollaback girl”?

Doesn’t that song drive you b-a-n-a-n-a-s? The incessant beat, the stomping, the shushed-out swear words, and just what the heck is Gwen Stefani talking about? We don’t want to get everybody fired up, so we put our pom-poms down and tackled this most important question. After a few times around that track, we discovered what a Hollaback Girl is and why Gwen ain’t one.Analysis points to cheerleading as the source of the slang. The cheerleading captain ‘hollas’ a chant to the squad, and the girls ‘holla’ it back. So the hollaback girl is a follower, and by extension, she is treated like a doormat, especially by boys. Writers on the Urban Dictionary add that a hollaback girl is all talk, no action, and won’t fight back.Obviously, Gwen is gonna fight and give it her all. She even socks it to us by proudly confirming her cheerleader roots. And while similarly a cheerleader at heart, Toni Basil doesn’t appear to be a hollaback girl either.

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of which we olfactory-challenged humans can only imagine!2. Everyone wants a better view. Dogs are no different.3. Dogs sense what every teen instinctively knows: it’s inherently cooler to travel on wheels than by foot.

The Weekly Brew Spring 2009 - Week 4

NAKID - OG May 1, 2009 • 3

N A K I D E V E N T S

1 2 3Week Weeks Weeks

Get

Psy

ched

For

Stay

Aw

ay F

rom

Tim

e W

ill T

ell

World Series of Pop Culture!April 16 — Don’t forget to put your team together for the World Series of Pop Culture!

Love N’ Dancing in theatersMay 8 — I don’t know what its about, but the name alone scares me.

Thurs Midseason PartyMay 9 — That Shit-Talking Class you took should come in handy for the beer games party. Talk a little smack as you play some flip cup and drunk ball.

Flip Cup Guy’s TournamentMay 2 — Will it measure up to NAKID’s tournament? Will the competition be up to NAKID’s level?

Flower Mart at the National CathedralMay 2 — Stay away unless you want your allergies to act up....or are heavily medicated.

OG and Tuesday Midseason Fiesta!May 2 — Come to MBP and Hamilton’s dressed for Cinco de Mayo, and get free beer and jello shots!

Angels and Demons releasedMay 15 — Tom Hanks joins forces with Ewan McGregor in this highly anticipated movie.

Bike to Work DayMay 15 — You really want to show up to work hot and sweaty just to save the planet? Pfft. Hippies.

The Weekly Brew

Star Trek Movie Night!May 6 — We have preview tickets for this highly anticipated movie! NAKID goes where no man has gone before!

The Weekly Brew Spring 2009 - Week 4

NAKID - OG May 1, 2009 • 4

Quy Diep, The GuardsWhen the Brewer saw Quy walk by with an entire pitcher of rum and coke and one straw, she knew she had to keep her eye on him. Quy did not disappoint, as he sipped from his enormous drink while playing flip cup, then ended up groping his teammates in a drunken stupor. A word of caution, though, Quy: don’t grope your own team! We call this “teamcest” and it leads to awkwardness the next week. Congrats!

Lisa, NeuticalsLisa embodies that which the LOTW honor truly stands for: being able to hold your liquor! Anyone can be a light weight—have a couple beers, get shit faced then engage in drunken antics, but to down beer after beer and still show no signs of stumbling, slurring or puking? That is a REAL lush! After losing all of her teammates in a survivor flip cup game, Lisa took on all 12 members of the opposite team and won FIVE TIMES, and was still coherent enough to boast about it! She was even ready for more punishment at the drunk ball tables. Congrats, Lisa, you are a true LOTW!

Congratulations, Joe and Mark! This season LOTWs get not only the coveted NAKID Lush patch to proudly display on their shirt (or anywhere else they want), but they also win two passes on the Boomerang Bus!

Disappointed you didn’t get a Boomerang pass? Well, every NAKID gets 20 percent off any Boomerang Bus trip. To view upcoming trips, go to www.ridetheboomerang.com. You will need the promo code, so please contact the Brew Babe at weeklybrew@gmail.com for that. Also certain restrictions apply, but you can also ask a Brew Babe about that. Check out the Boomerang and its trips at www.ridetheboomerang.com.

And please don’t get alcohol poisoning trying to win LOTW. The Brewers would like to encourage you to drink responsibly!

The Weekly Brew Spring 2009 - Week 4

NAKID - OG May 1, 2009 • 5Gordon

FiveQs1. Why did you join NAKID? To have fun, meet new people and drink.2. What’s your biggest mistake? Living 90 minutes from work.3. Popped collar: yay or nay? Hells fuckin’ no!4. Favorite beer: Michelob Amber Boch5. Cup size? C

Gordon, (M)orally Casual

Cinco de Mayo Party!NAKID Midseason

Saturday, May 2, is NAKID’s Midseason Party, and you know what that

means—tons of free beer, free jello shots, bar dancing and general mayhem, NAKID-style!

The theme is Cinco de Mayo, so break out your sombreros, piñatas, and other stereotypical Mexican attire for some margaritas and tequila shots! Sunday and Tuesday players get in free, $5 for Thursday NAKIDs, and $10 for Friends of NAKID (FON). The beer and jello shots will be served from 8 p.m. to 2 a.m. at My Brother’s Place and Hamilton’s. Ándale!

Nice maracas!

The Weekly Brew Spring 2009 - Week 4

NAKID - OG May 1, 2009 • 6

Beerlympics!NAKID Boomerang Bus

FiveQs

1. Why did you join NAKID? For the Jello shots.2. What’s your biggest mistake? Moving out of DC.3. Popped collar: yay or nay? Nay4. Favorite beer: Yuengling5. Cup size? C

Claudia, SMAC

Near record heat in April, many without air conditioning on yet to keep cool. Whatever will we do? Why, board the Boomerang, of course!

NAKID partnered with the Boomerang Bus for some barhopping Beerlympics, with beer on the bus and shenanigans at the bars. How the heck did this thing work? Here we go:

First stop: Bottom Line, where the game was Flip Cup. Next was two games of King of the Table (single and double elimination rounds) and a round of beer pong at Garrett’s, and the last stop was My Brother’s Place for Drunkball, all of which was interspersed with beer shotgunning contests on the bus. Rumor has it that a NAKID who wasn’t even playing in the Beerlympics passed out at MBP (Bennett, we’re looking in your direction). Now that’s what I call a NAKID party!

And the winner is: The Un-Incredibles! Congratulations!

Claudia

The Weekly Brew Spring 2009 - Week 4

NAKID - OG May 1, 2009 • 7

Plus Beer-in-Hand Kickball!DC United Gets NAKID!

Time for round two! We are heading to RFK again to see the DC United play on Saturday, May 23. We will have tickets on about the 40 yard line (in football terms) and at the 200 level.

Now for what you really want to know about—the tailgate! We will have beer, soda, food, and water, and we’ll try to have the meat ready in advance this time! You’ll eat, you’ll drink, then you go watch the game. All of this for just $30 (you must pay in advance via the link) and $40 for guests.

Is that all? Of course not! You’ll also get to play some Beer-in-Hand kickball on the DC United practice fields! There’s a keg at every base, crazy rules, and a beer must be in the hand in the field—it will be a blast! We will meet on the auxiliary field at RFK to play BIH kickball. For those staying in town for Memorial Day weekend this will be a GREAT way to get your kickball fix!

RFK is right off the Stadium/Armory Metro on the Blue and Orange Lines. Bring your friends, bring family, and let’s have some fun! BIH Kickball starts at 4 p.m., the soccer game starts at 7:30 p.m.

You MUST pay at the Paypal link on the meetup site (http://www.meetup.com/nakidkickball/calendar/9708822/) and write “PAID” in your RSVP. Anyone with a large grill that can bring it and/or anyone who can help us transport supplies will get in for free. Contact us at nakid2009@gmail.com first if you want to help.

Beer

Hand

The Weekly Brew Spring 2009 - Week 4

NAKID - OG May 1, 2009 • 8

Kickball Ramblings

In a previous column I debated which day was the best in NAKID. And while that matter is still up for debate, after a few weeks it seems like Thursdays are

definitely leading the league in one category: People acting like drunken assholes.

Maybe I’m just being old and crotchety (That lets me cross off “Use the word crotchety in a column” off my to-do list.) Maybe I’ve lost sight of how the kids of today entertain themselves. But it just seems like there’s been more drunken boorishness this season than in the past.

Kickball is a social sport, and obviously many of the league’s activities are tied in with alcohol, so I’m definitely not promoting prohibition

or anything like that. For instance, some teams like to pregame, or even enjoy some adult beverages during a game. And this is perfectly fine. But some people take it to such an extreme that they are barely able to function

during a game. Even worse are the ones who get hammered and decide that they’re just going to scream at everyone or argue about every call, regardless of their actual knowledge of the rules. If you are one of these people, I can assure

you that you aren’t as much fun to be around as you might think.

For those people who manage to hold off until reaching the bars before getting hammered, may I remind everyone that they are indeed bars, and not a fraternity house? Please try to act at least a little civilized. Hey, I was in a fraternity, too. But then I graduated.

Also, if you’re going to play flip cup, then please try to concentrate on playing flip cup. Here’s how a flip cup game should go: Play a game, refill your cup, then play again. This should be done in relatively quick succession. If you’d rather dance, have a deep conversation, or kick some game, then maybe you should step away from the table. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t talk to people while playing, but if you are easily distracted and because of you there is a five minute wait between each game, then please do your thing elsewhere.

Many of you may disagree with this, and feel that the drunker you are, the better, but try to remember that if you don’t get completely out of control it leads to a better time for everyone.

The Weekly Brew Spring 2009 - Week 4

NAKID - OG May 1, 2009 • 9

“I’m afraid to go outside because one of the rugby girls might snatch me up and there’s nothing I can

do about it.” Dave W, Chuggernauts

GameRECAPS Here are the scores the Brewer had at press time:

Mouth Breathin’ Motorboatin’ Mofos mauled Booze on First, 7-1. Midgets in Action proved it doesn’t take height to win, taking down The Guards, 11-2. Franks n Beans lost to

Neuticals, 1-6, while Morally Casual took Team Bicycle out for a ride, 6-2. DC Hoos was short women so they fell to SMAC in their second game of the day, 5-3, while Masterballers couldn’t overcome the Xtacles, losing 7-3. Finally, the Chuggernauts took down the Blumpkins, 8-2, starting speculation that the Blumpkins are no longer the team to beat.

Mouth Breathin, Motorboatin Mofos v. GREENMEN 3:00 PMTeam Bicycle v. Balls and Dolls! 3:00 PMBlumpkins v. Bros Strohs and Natty Bohs 3:00 PMMidgets in Action v. Weapons Of Ass Destruction 3:00 PMThe Guards v. Booze on First 3:00 PMFranks n Beans v. Xtacles 4:00 PMDC Hoos v. We got the Runs 4:00 PMMasterballers v. Chuggernauts 4:00 PMNeuticals v. Premature Inebriation 4:00 PMHit It Then Bounce v. Balls and Dolls! 4:00 PMReferees: SMAC & Morally Casual 3:00 PMReferees: SMAC & Morally Casual 4:00 PM

“Most of us didn’t lose our virginity until later in life

because we were too drunk to hook up until after high

school.” JJ, The Guards

The Weekly Brew Spring 2009 - Week 4

NAKID - OG May 1, 2009 • 10

TThe heat scared a lot of people away this week, but for those playing the cold beer was a welcome reward for sticking it out. Here’s a tip for next week: try to play with less people on your team! You get more rounds in, the games restart faster, and there’s much less confusion! Remember, if you don’t like your ranking, just play more teams, win more matches, and report your score to weeklybrew@gmail.com. Here are the rankings this week:1. Xtacles - Still number one! 2. Team Bicycle - Beating everyone but #1 3. Premature Inebriation - Moving up4. Booze on First - Playing lots and winning!5. Brohs, Strohs, and Natty Bohs - Find some teams!6. Neuticals - See LOTW recap7. Franks N Beans - lost their baseball this week?8. (M)orally Casual - Sitting around more9. We Got the Runs - Try smaller teams!10. DC Hoos - C’mon Hoos, you’re better than this! 11. The Guards - Stop playing with yourselves!12. Greenmen - Playing while drunk as can be!13. MMM/Chuggernauts - No flip cup?14. Blumpkins - Saw one or two members at the bar...15. WAD - Too hot to play?16. Hit It Then Bounce - Keep practicing17. SMAC - Sitting and drinking this week18. Masterballers - Not playing 19. Balls N Dolls - Who are you? 20. Midgets in Action - MIA yet again. Go to the bars!

FiveQs

1. Why did you join NAKID? Peer pressure2. What’s your biggest mistake? Going to College3. Popped collar: yay or nay? Nay4. Favorite beer: Long Island Iced Tea5. Cup size? Solo cup

Genevieve, Premature Inebriation

HThis week the drunkball originating team is back on top, but with a little practice they can be knocked off the top spot! Get out there and play next week! Here are the rankings:

1. Xtacles - Back on top, losing only to themselves!2. Franks N Beans - Al and Frank represent!3. Balls and Dolls - So this is where you were....4. Team Bicycle

Genevieve