THE RHEGEDIAN CHRONICLESIssue 1 The month of Sigmarstide, in the Year of the Leaping Bear

INSIDE THIS ISSUE

1 The tidings of Chaos

2 The beginnings of War

3 An excerpt from the new book by infamous

Night Goblin Warlord, Snazzgit Stunty Stompa.

3 A guide to the New Rhegedian Calendar

3 The New Rhegedian Calendar by Albrecht

Schneider

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Chaos comes to Rheged.By Pierre Sur-coraislamy Scrivener to the Court of the Duc de

Rheged.

Alas the dark gods have found us! How naïve we were to believe that this blessed land would remain hidden from their gaze. It happened sometime over the winter when the roads were closed by the heavy snows. The noble town of Carlisle and its surrounding towns and villages ruled over by that most beneficent of rulers Baron Gustavos Altenfeltman Margrave of Eden is gone. It has been replaced by a foul and decrepit mockery. The vile forces of chaos have overrun the entire margrave and even now torture and torment the populace, at least what little remains of them. Nobody knows for certain how many of the dark gods servants have descended upon our fair land but you can rest

A foul Chaos ritual!

The Imperial Army on the march

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assured it will be more than we would wish. I call on all free peoples to oppose these depraved barbarians, the forces of order must stand together against this evil if we are to hope to avoid the fate which currently befalls the old world

The beginnings of War.By Pierre Sur-coraislamy Scrivener to the Court of the Duc de Rheged.

A treatise on the movements of the armies of Rheged. The Minions of Chaos

The month began with the newly arrived legions of hell pouring out from the waste land that was Eden. They sent out 3 warbands, one to the East, one to the South west and one to the North. The Northern most warband discovered a Large Fortress on the Edges of the Solway moss. This was a foul and loathsome place inhabited by the vile ratmen. Surprisingly these creatures of chaos did not welcome the evil men but withdrew into their fastness. The Leader of this warband

immediately set to besieging the fortress. In the East they found a verdant land filled with towns and villages. This land was under the dominion of the Slaan and their local ruler was a Skink Priest by the name Ai Tich hoo. Reports are varied as to what happened, our intrepid reporter Katerina Ai Dee garnered the following quotes “They came out of the mists screaming and yelling calling the names of their dark gods. We met them out side of the village of Petchu. All it took was two or three volleys of blow pipes and javelins and they soon fled” Ai Tich Hoo, 58 “I sent the Bjornling Marauder Horsemen to conquer this land as it was beneath me. They failed me and now their skulls are tributes to the Blood God.” The Blood Lord, age unknown. Whatever the true story the outcome isobvious for all to see as Ai Tich Hoo and his Lizardmen still dwell within the fertile valley.

The final warband found nothing but moors and heathland as it continued to advance to the South West.

The Noble Armies of Caer CurwenIn response to the Chaos invasion of Rheged. Lord Caerluel, Duc de Rheged mobilised his forces and began to expand his empire. To the beating of drums and the fanfare of trumpets the armies did march forth, one to the East, one to the North, one to the south and one to the South west. As the advanced they peacefully conquered three new counties. To the north lies the new county of Crosby bordering the Lizardmens realm. To the East lies the new county of Cockermouth along the river Deer Whent. To the south lies the new coastal county of Harrington. The final army continued south along the coast but found nothing but barren shore lands with naught but small impoverished hamlets.

The Throng of Karak Jhaz

The Dwarfs of Clan Skrat began by exploring their mountain fastness. To the north East they

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THE NEW RHEGED IAN CALENDAR .

Albrecht Shneider of Barrowstown has devised a new Calendar which is fast becoming the favoured method for monitoring the year. Already the Empire of Barrowstown has adopted the format as has the Kingdom of Caer Curwen and, it is believed the Lizardmen of the north. Below is laid out the simple rules for the Calendar First the years, these take the form of a 10 year cycle which repeats. In order to avoid confusion each cycle is prefaced with a Cycle name. Each year is split into 12 months starting at the Winter Solstice

CALENDAR

YEARS

Bear, Cat, Dog, Dragon, Eagle, Fox, Griffon, Hydra, Lion, Tiger

CYCLE NAMES

Leaping, Red, Fiery, Dark, Screaming, Dancing, Dire, Fighting, Grim, Gaunt.

MONTHS

Wintarung, Sollung ,Hornung , Sigmarsung, Winninung, Brahung, Hewiung, Aranung, Witung, Winterfylleth, Herbistung, AErra Geola.

Winter begins with the first full moon of Winterfylleth, Spring begins in the month of Hornung with the Equinox whilst Autumn commences in Witung with the Equinox. The Solstices fall in Aerr Geola for the Winter Solstice and Brahung with the summer solstice.

How to make Stunties taste good. By Snazzgit Stunty Stompa Lord of Fell Scar

Da biggest problem wiv stuntie is that dey is so tough. Tough as ole boots most of da time. So you’z gotta make sure dat you tenderize dem well and proper.Now my ole Dad he used to swear by a big ole club for tenderizin is stuntie and he always said dey tasted better if dey were tenderized ta deff I mean he wud get out a live stunty an beat the blighta wiv is club till it was well an truly tenderized.

Now times ave moved on since dem days and we no longer use anyfink as crude as a club! Now we’ve got this ded shiny hammer thing which came off some ded stunty lord an it does a fantastic job of tenderizing not only stunties, but oomies, and poncy elfs too.

Now once you as tnederized your stuntie you need to gut it an skin it. Now not every one skins their stunty o’course some like em with nice crispy skin, but presonnaly I fink they is best if youze can get the erbs an spices right into their flesh.

Once your stunty is skinned and gutted then youze need to rub in some erbs. I find that nettles, thistles and wild garlic goes really well with roast stunty. Once he is properly season’d then it’s time ta skewer im and stick im on da fire.

Cook im onna spit that’s well tended by snots, make sure them useless buggers keep turnin im so he don’t burn and after half hour or so you’ll ave a juicy roast stunty that your Ma wud be proud of.

From “how to survive as a single Gobbog ina cruel and lonely world” by Snazzgit Sunty stompa, publish by the bl ack goblin press.

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