4:30 PM, WEDNESDAY JANUARY 30TH, 2013

DAVENPORT COLLEGE COMMON ROOM

The Yale Record and Davenport College present a Master’s Tea with:

BriTANicK

Writers of sketches such as “Academy Award Winning Movie Trailer” and the SXSW-selected short film “Eagles are Turning People Into Horses: The Movie”

Semi-naked Danica Patrick

Dog fetching beer

Someone driving a fast

car in an inappropriate

location

Baby that talks like your dad

Men standing on a couch and throwing tortilla

chips all over the room

Dramatization of the

temperature of beer

A movie commercial with

the BWAAAA from Inception

Football players eating

Neil Patrick Harris cameo

Charlie Chaplin cameo

Honest discussion of

Liberian politics

Someone quickly

becomes more attractive than

they were at the beginning of

the ad

FREE SPACE:

Casual misogyny

Questionable Viagra ad

Clint Eastwood talking to an imaginary car

An old person doing something that is typically

done by younger people

A child doing something that is typically done by older people

Boobs you think the advertisers wanted you to

notice

Funny commercial

that you missed because you were in the bathroom

President Obama silently drinking a glass

of milk

Stay tuned for a new episode

of The New Normal, guest starring Tom

Brady

Two cast members from Glee having sex

A commercial where Doritos are on fire for

some reason??

That one commercial that is only funny to

adults

Preview for Explosions: The

Movie

SUPERBOWL COMMERCIAL BINGO

FAMOUS SUPERBOWL MOMENTS

1965: In a play that would soon be outlawed, Joe Namath ties the football to the legs of a passing bird, which flies it to the endzone

1979: Green Bay Packers add Michael Jackson to the lineup exclusively for touchdown dance purposes

1985: In final minutes, opposing quarterbacks pause and realize their differences aren’t so great after all

1988: Mrs. Bartels’ third-grade class from Franklin Roosevelt Elementary School sings the National Anthem; Freddie Beckwith pees his pants, the entire stadium laughs at him, and Stacy Stephens doesn’t like him anymore

1993: Pigeons storm field after bread-intensive halftime show1997: Two receivers collide in midair and switch personalities2002: Kurt Warner sidelined after overenthusiastic huddle

spank2007: Coach Lovie Smith takes the Chicago Bears out to pizza

because, even though they didn’t win, he knows they tried their very hardest

THE YALE RECORD’S GUIDE TO:

“Did you guys catch that Doritos ad?”

REFEREE TRADING CARDS

Tough but fair, she just hopes nobody loses any teeth before picture day.

Previous rulings: You boys have to share the remote!

JAC

KIE

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UG

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her o

f coa

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Jim

and

Jo

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arba

ugh

“Look, she’s totally hot and actually a very nice person, okay?”

Catchphrase: “Hey, no, that’s totally normal.”

SK

YL

ER

JO

HN

SO

N•

Guy

who

se g

irlfr

iend

ha

s a

refe

ree

fetis

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In this economy, it pays to be flexible.

Previous ruling: Gave the quarterback a red card for using his hands

AL

EX

AN

DR

OS

PA

PA

ZO

GL

AK

IS•

Dis

plac

ed G

reek

so

ccer

refe

ree

He’s wanted in four states—for excellent playcalling! Also, murder.

Catchphrase: “I got it all under control, see?”

KE

N “

TH

E C

AT

” C

AS

EY

• W

ante

d m

an

“Have these guys even passed referee school?”

Experience: Actual other football games

MA

RLO

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HA

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FL R

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f the

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doe

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unde

rsta

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how

the

othe

rs g

ot th

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There’s no rule that says a dog can’t be a referee!

Previous ruling: Ruffing the kicker

SQ

UIN

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MC

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