Thunder Roads Texas July 2011

Also Inside: Tribulations of a Long Distance Rider The Hoka Hey Challenge Pigstye Pasture Party

The MOST Comprehensive Event Listing Published in Texas!

ThunderRoadsTexas.comJuLY 2011

Page 4 H July 2011 ThunderRoadsTexas.com July 2011 H Page 5Texas-based, Texas-focused, Texas PROUD!

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Thunder Roads Texas Bob Cooney & Shelly Horan State Edition Owners 4631 Cashel Glen Drive Houston, TX 77069 281.866.8149 ThunderRoadsTexas.com

Layout & DesignShelly HoranTop of Mind [email protected]

Thunder Publishing, LLC Toni & Brian ShearonNational Founders1528 Matlock Drive Chapmansboro, TN 37035615.792.0040 ThunderRoadsMagazine.com

Thunder Roads Magazine® is Trade Marked and may not be used in any way without consent from Thunder Publishing. Thunder Roads Magazine of Texas is published by Thunder Roads Texas. All rights reserved. No part of its’ content may be reproduced without written permission. Publisher assumes no responsibility and is not to be held liable for errors beyond the cost of the space occupied by the error, slander of any group or individual, failure to produce any issue as scheduled due to reasons beyond our control, any and all suits for liable, plagiarism, copyright infringement and unauthorized use of a person’s name or photograph. Opinions and claims made by advertisers and authors are their own and do not necessarily represent the policy of Thunder Roads Magazine®, Thunder Publishing, or Thunder Roads Texas. Publisher does not promote the abuse of alcohol or other drugs. Ride & live responsibly. Thank you. Thunder Roads Magazine®, Thunder Publishing, and Thunder Roads Texas.

Thunder Roads Texas is a wholly separate entity from Thunder Publishing LLC and Thunder Roads Magazine editions in other states. As such, content that runs in other states’ editions has no relation to the content in Thunder Roads Texas. Unless specifically stated, Thunder Roads Texas does not endorse, and is not responsible for, any content in other Thunder Roads Magazine editions.

On the Cover36 Houston... We have an Expo!

This Month18 Tribulations of a Long Distance Rider28 The Hoka Hey Challenge

30 Pigstye Pasture Party

Regular Features8 From the Editor10 Points Across Texas Snapshots: NEW Gold Destination12 PigTrails: The Love of All Things Motorcycle14 The Scout Report: She’s a Brick House... Tavern & Tap16 Pink Thunder: To Ride Alone or Not (Joni Kelton)33 Monthly Ride Map: American History through Texas’ Eyes38 ThunderCam40 Joker’s Wild

Resources23 Event Listing CENTER - Pull-Out July 2011 Calendar

43 Biker Friendly Listing

On the cover: Photos by Bill Barnes and Pete Martinez. Cover by Shelly Horan, Top of Mind Marketing.

Contents

July 2011

CORRESPONDENTS

OWNERSBob Cooney, CEO/[email protected]

Shelly “TX Dragonfly” Horan, [email protected]

Thunder Roads Texas Main Office 281.866.8149 [email protected]

Reynolds Mansson - Statewide [email protected] 210.259.9916

Bill “Shovelhead” Barnes - [email protected] 321.960.6161

Justin Turnage - DFW [email protected] 254.205.1447

Bonnie Estes - Austin/Hill Country [email protected] 512.673.6679

Linda Morris - Houston [email protected] 713.897.9109

Angela Epperson - Waco/DFW [email protected] 254.493.3830

James Williams - San Antonio/Hill Country [email protected] 830.708.6198

Laura Mae Benson - Houston/Galveston [email protected] 979.481.9642

Manuel A. Valladares - DFW [email protected] 214.245.6217

Amy Conklin - Houston [email protected] 832.498.6693

Bob Engler - Plano/DFW [email protected] 302.229.4156

ADVERTISING SALES

FEATURE WRITERS

“Crazy Al” - PigTrails; Elm “Scout” Valle - The Scout Report;Joni “Even Meaner” Kelton, Brandy “Tex” Valdez

IN MEMORIAM

Mean Gene Kelton 1953-2010

Feature Writer - Black Leather Blues Thunder Roads Texas 2009-2010

Kitti Kluna - Houston; Ron Blansett - Houston; Linda Morris - Houston; Mark Appenzeller - D/FW; Joyce Siegert - D/FW; Brian “Native NYer” - D/FW; Travis “Blydawg” Blythe - D/FW; Dean Downey - Amarillo; Meghan Heller - Austin; Linda Nilsson - East Texas; Chantelle Sandberg - East Texas; George Darcy - Midland/Odessa; Kim Ferris; Shelly “Cricket” Beatty - Spring Branch; Sir Richard Vance - Corpus Christi; Randy McCamey - West Texas; Don Brewer - Livingston; Pete Martinez - Houston; Jason English - Piney Woods; Sean Kester - D/FW; Roger Bowles - Waco; Lonnie & Pam Fitch - Galveston; Donny Phillips - LaPorte

Coming this Fall...Happy 4th of July to all! As I write this, we are making plans to head to Dallas the weekend before the 4th to participate in the Allied Remembrance Memorial Ride; check in on Crazy Al and his wife, Paula, to see how they’re doing; shoot our September cover, a 9/11 tribute bike; and try to take a little time to enjoy some of the D/FW area.

We close June riding, but doing so verging on heat stroke. We’re being promised rain next week, gosh, I hope we get it. My house has a forest for a backyard and it’s looking way too brown for my comfort level, given all the wildfires (yes, even in urban Houston). I water as much as I can afford, but am losing the battle.

While the summer events slow down (for obvious reasons), I know riders are still out on their bikes. I’ve seen them, I’ve been one of them. We have our favorite haunts here around Houston – what about you and your area? What bars or locations do you prefer to ride to? Take a few moments and give your favorite places a free plug. Send them to me – [email protected] or catch me in Facebook (Facebook.com/Shelly.Horan). We’ll compile a list from around the state to share with our readers.

We will soon be heading into the Fall riding season and it’s going to be a busy one for Thunder Roads Texas! We are sponsoring:

Summertime Bikes & Blue• s * Freeport * September 2-4

The Texas Rall• y * Lyons (Lake Sommerville) * September 8-11

Oldest Town in Texas (OTT) Rall• y * Nacogdoches * September 15-18

Tin Star Ranch Rally & Fundraise• r * Fredericksburg * September 17-18

Texas Honor Ride Fall Fundraise• r * Conroe * September 24

Boo Benefi• t * Jefferson * October 7-9

Lone Star Rall• y * Galveston * November 3-6

Texas Honor Rid• e (the ride) * Houston-to-San Antonio * November 12

Watch for more information about these events in upcoming issues. If you have a business that is near any of these locations, now is the time to contact us to start advertising before and during the rally season. We offer great three-month package deals for rallies we sponsor. Riders heading to these rallies pick up Thunder Roads Texas to see what to do while there – don’t be left out. If you’re interested in Thunder Roads Texas sponsoring your event in 2012, please contact me and send me your sponsorship package. Don’t forget – basic event listings are FREE. Just send your event information to [email protected]. A Premium Listing is only $25/month, providing the basic information in bold, adding up to 75 words about the event to tell folks why they should attend your event over others being held on the same day/weekend, and the event is pre-printed on our popular pull-out calendar.

This month, we have some rally wrap-ups and a couple long distance ride stories we’re excited to bring you. We’re trying something a little different with the Ride Map this month. In focusing on our nation’s history, we target the American Civil War historical sites in Texas. This issue provides you with the first of a series of maps highlighting these areas. The following maps will be provided with our Web-zine (weekly email) throughout July. If you’re not receiving this valuable weekly update (which includes a unique article you won’t find in the pages of our print version and an update of events two weeks out, catching those that didn’t make our print deadline), it’s never too late to sign up. Just visit our website (ThunderRoadsTexas.com) or our Facebook page (Facebook.com/ThunderRoadsTexas).

Ride safe... and ride with THUNDER!

Shelly “TX Dragonfly” HoranEditor / [email protected]

Owner, Top of Mind [email protected]


Find us, Befriend us, Follow us, Join us!

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NEW Gold Destination!

We’re pleased to announce another addition to our Gold Destination list:

Iron Hawg Saloon6109 E FM 1462Rosharon, TX 77583281.595.2121IronHawgSaloon.comNice icehouse south of Houston on FM 1462, just east of Highway 288. A great stop along the way, offering 50 cent pool and cold beer. If you’re from Houston or visiting the area, be sure to ride down and say “hi” to Sil, Barb, and Zipper, get your picture and send it in!A new list is available for download from the website. Additionally, thanks to an avid Points Across Texas Rider, we are also offering a list that is sorted by area, in order to make your planning for riding to participate in the program easier.Have a favorite location you think other riders would enjoy riding to? Tell them about our Points Across Texas program. Only $199/year is a great bargain!


Sponsored by

GOLD DESTINATIONS Each worth 2 pointsD’Rose Inn & Cabins PO Box 720 Leakey, TX 78873 830.232.5246 www.droseinn.com Frio Canyon Motorcycle Stop; Bent Rim Grill 657 West Ranch Rd Leakey, TX 78873 830.232.6629 www.friocanyonmotorcycle-shop.biz www.bentrimgrill.com Frisco Custom Cycles 6427 Main St Frisco, TX 75034 214.387.0650 www.friscocustomcycles.com George’s Bar & Grill 2031 Plantation Dr Conroe, TX 77301

Goe Harley-Davidson 1350 S 288B Angleton, TX 77515 281.393.1000 www.goeharley-davidson.com Goe Kawasaki 1350A S Hwy 288B Angleton, TX 77515 www.goekawasaki.com Iron Hawg Saloon 6109 E FM 1462 Rosharon, TX 77583 281.595.2121 www.ironhawgsaloon.comRetreat Hill Cellars 14343 Liberty St Montgomery, TX 77356 936.449.5285 www.retreathill.com Tommaso’s Italian Grill 507 N Gordon St Alvin, TX 77511 281.331.6262 www.tommasositaliangrill.com

o you love your motorcycle? I know I do! Not just the bike, but the whole wide world of the motorcycle! I am talking about getting bent out of shape over a

new front tire! I look at it once it is on the bike. I check out the grooves. I will even take a penny out just to see it go deeper than Lincolns head! When I look at my bike I scan it one inch at a time to see if I can find a single flaw. If you find something it gives you the excuse of finding a way to fix it. Than starts the whole wonderful journey of having the idea in your head; taking your quest to the computer; starting the search… I even love it when I can’t find the fix right away.

You run across all sorts of products along your journey. Just love that feeling of “LOOK AT THAT” and then the reality of “Holy Crap How Much?” But it’s okay. It’s part of the project! Finding the item that truly fits your needs is like finding gold in the Colorado Mountains! Your focus finds its way to that grand ole PayPal button at the bottom of the page! Hitting it gives this warm feeling over you from head to toe! I am not this weird I promise! Well maybe sometimes! I used to hate ordering online because you have to wait days for your purchase to arrive. But like all things this is now very normal in my monthly life. The Tracking number becomes your best friend! Where is it now? Out for delivery means you will get it sometime around 6:00 p.m. UUgghh! This does not give you near enough time to put the product on the bike that day. That’s cool. I always put it on the coffee table so I can stare at it all night!

I have also fallen in love with the feel of the motorcycle when I am riding it. Everything about it has a meaning. I love the sound of the pipes when you’re riding with a friend and they start to harmonize. I can’t make that sound on paper so you’re just going to have to take my word for it! Okay I will try! It’s kind of a whaa Whaaa Whauu! Rum Rum! Love it! Shelly, who is the editor of this fine publication, is going to try to figure out how to spell that correctly! I love it! Leave it Shelly. It’s classic! I told a friend of mine today on a ride that my Ultra Classic is a lead sled! It feels heavy. It feels smooth. It really goes down the road like a Cadillac. It’s not a race bike for sure. I’m sure not going to set any speed records. But I don’t care! You do have to plan when you are going to pass an 18-wheeler on the freeway. It’s

part of it and that’s why they call them cruisers! It’s laid back with the due rag on and the perfect set of shades! It’s chill at its finest level. I am on top of the world!

Last on this list, but first in my heart, are the bikers themselves! A group of people that see it all differently and live it on a totally different level! It’s a club that you don’t have to sign up for and a closeness you will feel on your first ride! A thumbs up and a wave of the hand and you now belong. It goes much further than that. The first person to offer help to another biker is another fellow biker. It’s called true support! Hundreds of thousands of bikers show up every year for multiple events that respond to the needs of charities, causes, military, food drives, kids, and even down to a single biker such as myself that are in need due

to circumstances beyond our control. Bikers sometimes get a bad wrap. But the funny thing is most bikers don’t really care what you think about them because we are well aware of how we conduct ourselves. If you’re not part of the club than we are pretty sure you don’t have a clue!

As far as my personal life goes, my wife and I are still on the long journey to recovery from her brain aneurism back in February this year. I want to let my folks know that she is doing well! Health-wise she is in good shape! As far as her attitude she is stronger than an Olympic athlete. She has not complained once since this whole ordeal began. We still have a very long way to go as healing from brain injury is a very slow process! One thing I learned from the beginning is there are no instructions when it comes to dealing with a tragedy of this magnitude. I would like to give some tips each month on ways to help if you are ever faced with this type of situation. Number one: Don’t hold anyone accountable! You will learn if they are not in your bubble then they just simply can’t fully understand what you’re going through! Every doctor that will be involved with your case will give you a business card. Trust me they will. Take a moment to write on the back what date you got the card and how they were involved in your case. Then buy a card holder only for these cards! You have no idea how much this will come in handy as time goes by! I did not know this going into our situation and now I don’t even know how to get a hold of 21 doctors, 45 nurses, and countless amounts of other people that played a huge part in saving my wife’s life! God Bless you all!

The adventure of life is to live another day! Take care of yourself and care for each other!

Alan and Paula Bunch

The Love of All Things Motorcycle!


or a long time I passed the Brick House Tavern on FM 1960 at Highway 59, never stopping by to see

what it was about. I had thought it was another tavern with nothing new to offer. I did occasionally see a couple bikes parked outside, but then again every tavern had their fair share of bikers. One weekend, my brother Don came from California to visit me and we decide to stop by and see what the Brick House was all about. With some hesitation, we finally made our way to the local store. To our surprise it was a very nice place. Leather seats and couches filled the interior, a nice open veranda with a fire pit on the outside, and the best of all, a ton of beer overwhelm their two page menu! I knew I had to come back and do an article on this cool place. I contacted their corporate center and scheduled a walk through and interview. A couple days later I was contacted by one of their General Managers. Little did I know that this once unknown tavern to me would become a personal favorite for beer drinking!

Atmosphere: The overall atmosphere of the Brick House is impressive and warm. As you walk into the tavern you will notice the leather recliners and the sofa couches in the dining area. A myriad of flat screen televisions scattered throughout the tavern are playing all kinds of sports events in the background. You will notice there are no male

servers and only beautiful female servers grace the floor. “This was on purpose,” stated Rebecca McIntyre, store manager, “the Brick House is about giving the feeling of being a man-cave.”

Though this is true, there are just as many female patrons as there are males. That is because the atmosphere is just plain cozy, warm, and inviting. The whole feel is a little bit of rustic with nostalgic American classic rock. In fact, the music playing is reminiscence of the classic songs of the 70s thru the 90s from the genres of rock, country, and oldies. Additionally, they have a DJ playing on the outside patio for special events. Speaking of special events, the Brick House, depending on location, does host a bike night. And in some cases they will have a rock band playing for special events.

The waitresses are actually encouraged to hang out with the patrons at the table and talk to them. The Brick House is dedicated in developing relations with customers. You

will also notice the Brick House has very little marketing hype or gimmicks. They rely on old fashioned customer service and word of mouth to spread their name around. As I sat there drinking my beer, I couldn’t help notice how welcome I felt there. My waitress, Micaleh, was a perfect combination of both friendly and beautiful. I was also extremely impressed on the beer knowledge of Katie – as she recited beer facts like a computer. All together, the Brick House was a very relaxing yet enjoyable experience.

Food/Beer: So the food at the Brick House is excellent with Executive Chefs manning the kitchens. The menu ranges from things like “Chicken & Waffles” to “The Gun Show Burger.” But let’s get to the important part here. The Brick House boasts a beer menu of 75 different kinds of

beers - from domestic to international. They have ales, lagers, porters, stouts, pilsners, and IPA’s!!! Even more impressive the Brick House has eight different ways of serving their beer: on tap, beer engine, beer bong, 40-ounce bottle, and beer cocktails! Not sure

what that all means? And you call yourself a beer drinker! I was definitely surprised when I ordered a beer and the first question I got was “Sissy size or Man size?” I won’t tell you what I chose – but I digress! I don’t think I have seen another tavern in Texas serve that many types of beer. Every Thursday night is pint night, where the Brick House will showcase a different beer. Not into beer? Well they also serve eight different types of wines, with plans on possibly expanding their wine selection. And lastly, the Brick House has a full liquor bar for those who prefer Jaegerbombs and French Kisses!

Tid-Bits: The Brick House is fairly new and under three years old, they are certainly an up-and-coming tavern on the Americana landscape. With only 17 taverns nationally; Texas has the most with five. The first location opened in Chicago with the Houston location off the Northwest Freeway (Highway 290) was the second tavern to open. The Humble location off 1960 is the fourth location.

I was lucky enough to talk to Rebecca and her staff at the Humble location. She has a culinary background and a degree in business. She is a driving force of making her tavern successful, but she does get a little help. All the airport hotels shuttle patrons to-and-from the Humble Brick House as a service. The diverse global beer presence attracts the international travelers.

On top of being a local watering hole, the Brick House plays a strong part in our community. From Toys for Tots and Cancer Awareness to Support Troops, the Brick House hosts fundraisers and events. If you want to host an event just call the general manager of your chosen Brick House location and they will coordinate with you on the specifics.

One of the most unique aspects that I really liked about the Brick House is that they really take care of their servers. The Brick House helps their servers by offering tuition reimbursement, management training programs, and talent development. This keeps the waitresses happy; and happy servers equate to better customer service! Another unique aspect of the Brick House is that every server gets a personalized card with a picture on one side and facts about them on the other. This enables patrons to learn a little about their servers – a nice touch of the human factor!

Conclusion: There’s just something different about Brick House. Maybe it’s their selection of beer that is local, diverse and served many different ways. Perhaps it’s the elevated American fare prepared daily in the kitchen by their Executive Chefs. Or possibly, it’s the personalized hospitality that only the Brick House girls can provide. Whichever is the case, everything you could ever want in a local tavern is right there. So, grab your friends and get to the Brick House.

For more information visit your local Brick House or visit BrickHouseTavernAndTap.com. Even their webpage is pretty groovy – with the Commodores song, “Brick House” playing in the background!

As always stay safe riding out there. This is the Scout Report signing out and “See You On The High Ground!”

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She’s a Brick House… Tavern and Tap

o you’ve got the perfect set of wheels. You’ve decked out your ride with all the right accessories - chrome, bags, lights, and the right helmet. Time

to ride! Now it’s time to decide, are you going solo or riding with a group? Maybe you’ve promoted yourself from backseat driver on someone else’s bike to riding your own. Maybe owning and riding your own bike has been a dream for a long time or you woke up one day and decided “today is the day!” There are a lot of factors to consider riding solo or in an organized (or sometimes unorganized!) group. I’ll try to hit some pros and cons of both.

Riding Solo

For me, my personal journey on a motorcycle began when I was five years old. Of course I didn’t ride the open road back then; I rode mini-bikes with my friends. After I bought my first street bike at sixteen, I started riding by myself. I would venture out to the countryside, alone, just me and my beautiful blue Honda Twinstar that I paid for with my tips from job waiting tables after school. Riding alone was awesome; mind-clearing, soul-settling awesome.

To this day, every single day I want to get on the bike and just ride and ride, clearing my mind and recharging my mental battery. As I have gotten older, I realize the dangers of riding solo. If I went down, who would help me? Would anyone even find me? Many other sports advocate the “buddy system,” and motorcycling is no different. Although

sometimes you just have to get away on your own, at least make sure to have your cell phone charged and your gas tank full. Let a few people know where you are going, and check in with them on your journey.

There are always pitfalls of being a woman alone on a bike. The inevitable cat-calls, whistles, and honks from male passerby is all part of the adventure, although it only seems to happen from cagers, not other riders. If attention from male drivers bothers you, riding solo is probably not in your best interest. Distraction while riding can be fatal, so ignoring them is a must. Another thing, and I’m

sure I’ll get hate mail on this, if you are a woman rider going solo, don’t invite trouble by showing off all your assets like you’re on parade. Nothing wrong with going bra-less with a skimpy top (unless you go down) but don’t get mad when you get extra attention from the opposite sex. A good solo ride can recharge your soul, but be smart about it.

Riding In Groups

With all the wonderful, organized riding groups both in Texas and nationally, it’s inevitable you will run across a group you might consider riding with. Every organized group has a purpose, whether for charity or just fun. Most have websites with information on their mission, purpose, meeting times and any club requirements. Some organizations, such as Harley’s Angels (national - breast cancer awareness, research and education) do not require members to own a motorcycle. I have listed just a few organizations at the end of this article. Riding in a group can be an exhilarating adventure shared with a like-minded set of people, but for an untrained rider, it can be a dangerous proposition.

The danger also extends to the entire group when riding in formation. All riders depend on each other for their safety. When I was asked to ride with a bunch of friends, I made sure to let the road leader know I didn’t have a lot of experience riding in a group. He gave me great advice - things to watch out for, group riding etiquette and signals.

The best thing I did was admit my inexperience. Not once did I feel my friends thought any less of me. Their safety was on the line as well, so they made sure I knew the rules of the road. We had a great ride, and I learned so much. I continue to learn from veteran riders every time I get in a group.

You might find yourself in a group situation you are uncomfortable with. Unsafe riders, too much alcohol, the speed the group rides or challenge of the route can make you reconsider your decision to ride in a group after you’re out on the road. Best thing to do is “peel off,” go your own way. There’s no shame in going out on your own versus being under a big pile of chrome and steel.

Knowledge is Power

A friend of mine gave me the gift of knowledge in the form of a great book, Proficient Motorcycling: The Ultimate Guide to Riding Well by David L. Hough. Although the book is a little dated, the information is invaluable on riding solo as well as group riding etiquette. I highly recommend it. I refer to it often, and try to re-read it every few months just to keep the riding tips in my head.

Another great source is the internet. I found this 10-minute video in the Motorcycle Safety Foundation’s Guide to Group Riding Kit on YouTube. It explains riding formations, pre-ride meetings, hand signals, and more. www.youtube.com/watch?v=erpkyD7SMfw

Women Riding Groups to Check Out

Ladies on Wheels (Austin) • www.austinlowriders.com Chrome Angels (North Texas) • www.chromeangels.org Central Texas Chrom Divas (Hill Country) • www.centraltexaschromedivas.com Women In The Wind • www.womeninthewind.org Harley’s Angels (National) • www.harleysangels.org Women’s Motorcyclist Foundation • www.WomenMotorcyclistFoundation.org Women’s International Motorcycle Association • www.WIMAUSA.org Leather and Steel Sisters • www.leatherandsteelsisterstx.webs.com Leather and Lace Women’s Motorcycle Club • www.lacetejasriders.com www.Meetup.co• m has many motorcycle groups in most major cities.


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To Ride Alone or Not: The Pros and Cons of Solo and Group RidingBy Joni “Even Meaner” Kelton

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The Fairy TaleToday I have a new, very real, and very painful respect for anyone who ever has or ever will ride a motorcycle for an extended period of time over a very long distance. By extended period of time, I’m talking 18 to 24 hours and by long distance, I’m talking 1,000 miles or more. Yes, for some of you 1,000 miles in a single day is no big deal, but

for most of us 1,000 miles

in 24 hours is huge!

Now, I’m a backroads kinda guy – don’t much care

for the interstate highways – and before this trip I did not think 1,000

miles was a big deal either, even on the backroads. So, after a few 12-oz. bottles

of my favorite motivation, I decided that I wanted to give a long distance ride a try and said

to myself, “What the hell, just go for it!” So one very early morning in May, I started out on what I thought

would be a leisurely cruise across the great state of Texas. “Puttin’ some miles on the ol’ bike”, I thought, “A nice little road trip and some much-needed “me” time.” My mind told me what a great ride it would be just to cruise for a while and how I would be so refreshed and invigorated when I returned.

The trip I planned was a touch-and-go between Weatherford, TX and Las Cruces, NM. This trip was to be an easy 1,200 mile ride along I-10 and I-20 through the heart of Texas. A great bike, good roads, and good weather; what could be better for a great ride? What I found

instead was something more physically and emotionally demanding than anything I had faced in years, possibly decades. I was absolutely exhausted when I got back home some, some 21 hours after I started, and, according to my wife, completely incoherent. Every mile of the last 300 seemed like eternity and it felt like it took 30 minutes just to sit down and take off my boots when I finally made it back! I was so tired I forgot to remove everything from my pants pockets and the next morning, while unloading the clothes from the washing machine, my wife Vickie asked, “Are you missing something?” while holding a very soggy wallet in her hands. It still makes me tired to think about it.

The MotivationOver the winter I read several inspiring stories about bikers who had, for one reason or another, embarked on a long distance ride. Those stories got me to thinking that a long distance ride was something that I might do, something within my capabilities and a goal to be achieved that would give me a different kind of experience and gain a greater appreciation for riding on two wheels. In early spring, I started my initial planning and I began watching the weather forecasts to try to catch the best spring days for a long ride. Specifically I was eager to ride on a sunny day with moderate temperatures and low winds. In early May, the window of opportunity opened and I was ready to go. I planned to leave home around 2:00 a.m. This would get me down the road several hundred miles before sunrise and would allow me time to make the trip and get back home at a decent hour the next night.

The RealityThe day prior to departure, the daytime weather was perfect – sunny and 70 degrees with light winds. The next day’s forecast was to be a repeat of the same great weather. My first big mistake was to assume that the nighttime weather would be equally as good. It turned out to be unseasonably cool, however, with a 51 degree morning low. I didn’t think 51 degrees was all that bad. After all, I’d ridden 100 miles in sub-freezing temperatures just last winter, so a moderate 51 should be fine. Wrong! According to the National Weather Service, at 70 miles per hour the resulting wind chill is around 25 degrees! As you might imagine, the first hour of the ride was fine, but between 3:00 a.m. and sunrise, it was both dark and cold! The upper portions of my legs were the coldest part of my body and my first unscheduled stop near Sweetwater was just to let my legs relax after being wrapped tightly around the gas tank for several hours. As I write this, now a few days later, my thighs still tingle.

Traffic was perfect; almost non-existent. I’m not sure if I just got lucky or what, but Interstate 10/20 traffic on this particular Monday was very, very light. I ran my high beams a lot during the early morning hours because the traffic was so light. Sunrise found me in Odessa (one of several unscheduled stops) trying again to get feeling back into my legs with a good hot cup of coffee. As an FYI for those of you who might try this Interstate route, I recommend that you fill your gas tank somewhere near Odessa. Why? Heading westbound, once you cross into Ward County (Monahans), the speed limit jumps to 80 MPH. You can really make some time on the stretch between Odessa and El Paso at that speed. Back on the road, it was getting lighter and warmer outside and my next stop was in Pecos for fuel, an energy bar for breakfast, and a big drink of water.

As I traveled west, the mountains of Big Bend and northern Mexico began to appear on the horizon. There are a few rest stops along this stretch of interstate and I recommend you stop at least once just to take in the view of the mountains of West Texas. I stopped again in Van Horn (just over half-way between Odessa and El Paso) to drink some water and refuel the bike. After that, it was on to El Paso and into New Mexico where I stopped at Barnett Harley-Davidson in Las Cruces for a short rest break. This was my turnaround point at about 584 miles. It was 1:00 p.m. and, by my calculations, I was about one hour behind my projected schedule. So, I turned around and headed back home. By this time of day it was getting warm on the road and having to go through El Paso traffic made it seem downright hot after such a cold start to the morning! As I rode east out of El Paso, time started to slow down and the aches and pains started to increase. I made it back to Van Horn where I refueled and continued toward home. The

west Texas desert between Van Horn and Pecos began to fill with shadows as the sun was getting lower in the sky. It started to feel as if I were in some kind of space-time continuum at that point because it seemed like it took ages to make the distance back to Pecos and even longer to get from Pecos to Midland.

The bike ran great the whole way – nary a misfire, so I can’t blame anything on my machine. I ride a Softtail Deluxe. I like the long and low stance and the old style layout. The bike fits me well although at six-feet tall, I do have to move my feet to the highway pegs when I’m out on a long stretch of highway. One thing was happening that I did not start to notice until I made it to Pecos on the way back. My position on the bike at 70 MPH was different than at 80 MPH. More specifically, the toes of my boots were being pushed to either side at the higher speed by the air flow around the front wheel or engine. During the first half of my ride this did not seem to matter, but when I got past Pecos on the return trip, my leg and thigh muscles started a revolt! By the time I made Odessa, I had taken several aspirin to ease the pain and I was actually glad to see the 70 MPH speed limit again!

Past Big Spring headed east, evening was quickly approaching, the temperature was going back down, and the miles seemed to get longer and longer and longer. At one point just east of Abilene I was certain that I could walk faster than the 70 MPH I was riding because the mile markers seemed to be at least 20 minutes apart! My last fuel stop in Eastland was about the last memory I have of the trip before finally arriving home. My whole body was tingling from the vibration and wind all day long. I’m sure anyone watching me fuel my bike in Eastland that evening thought I was drunk. My fingers were so numb it took several tries just to get my credit card out of my wallet. Then the gas pump wanted me to enter my zip code. “What’s a zip code”, I thought? That took at least two attempts as I tried to remember what it was! I did not even fill up my tank. I guess I had enough sense to think that if I really topped the tank off, in my condition, I would have spilled gallons of gas all over the bike and who knows what catastrophe that might have caused. I just prayed I had enough gas to get home.

Well, I did make it home and with everything in one piece. I slept the next day until about 10:00 a.m. and woke up just in time to take a very long nap! Tired and sore, I guess I survived, but I would not have claimed that at the time!

The ResultMy long ride was a pretty straight run on Interstates 10 and 20, so I hope I haven’t bored you with too much “turn left, drive 10 miles, turn right” stuff or to many “I’m so lonesome I could cry” clichés of self-pity. I did it to myself and I actually learned a few things along the way. Time in the saddle is what riding is all about, but a long time in the saddle at one time takes dedication, stamina, and a lot of preparation. That being said, I thought I might pass along a few things I learned on my journey. Perhaps some of these tips might make your long distance ride, or even some of your not-so-long distance rides, a little more pleasant.

Pre-plan your trip. Map your ride and each stop (I used exit numbers) and check for gas stations and food. Be sure to check that the gas stations are open when you anticipate being there. There are a lot of stations along interstate highways, but those in the more rural areas are not always open at 4:00 a.m. in the morning! Check some spots you don’t plan to stop too because you just might. I stopped several times just to walk around and stretch.

Give your bike a thorough inspection – oil and tires and tire pressure, etc. I carried a quart of motor oil just in case but that was probably being overly-cautious. Some of the “tips” I read during my pre-planning said not to do any significant

upgrades or maintenance to your bike just prior to a long distance ride. 500 miles into a 1,000 mile ride is NOT a good time to determine that the new seat you just installed is really not going to work after all!

Have the simple things at hand. I carried my note pad, pen, and envelope for my receipts in a magnetic holder on top of my tank and my clear glasses, sun glasses, music player, and ear plugs in the windshield pouch. I also took along a small container with some aspirin which, in retrospect, turned out to be a very good idea. Once a few of the aches and pains of riding started showing up (IE, leg muscle aches and a sore throttle wrist), they came in very handy indeed.

Be physically fit. The ride I describe in this article is an endurance run, not a race, and your body needs to be in shape for the many hours of “shakin’ and rock-n-rollin’.” Believe me, this is one of those “Do as I say, not as I did” pieces of advice. I plan to hit the gym for several weeks before I take off on my next long distance ride.

Get plenty of sleep the night before. I started my ride at 2:00 am which helped me meet my goal of being back before midnight the following night. In retrospect, however, that time was too early for my biologic clock. A 3:00 a.m. to 4:00 a.m. start time and a more specific distance of 1,000 miles, rather than the 1,200 I rode, would have put me back home just after 9:00 p.m. and would have been better for me all the way around.

Take and drink plenty of water. It is not just the heat of the day that will dehydrate you, it is also the wind flowing across your body as you travel that will do the same thing. I drank a half-liter bottle of water at every other stop – about 300 miles – and I was still dehydrated even though I did not feel like it. Next time, I’m drinking a bottle of water at every stop.

Eat, but eat light. A big meal takes time to prepare and eat, makes you feel stuffed, and will make you drowsy. Stay away from a lot of salt or a lot of sugar. I took some granola bars, raw almonds, and a few cups of yogurt in a small cooler and that seemed to work about right for me over the course of the day’s ride.

Long distance endurance rides are not primarily about speed but consistency and efficiency. My 1,200 miles in 21 hours calculates out to an average of only 57 mph. Being


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TTribulations of a Long Distance RiderBy Randy “Harley Doc” McCamey, TRT Correspondent

“I can see for miles and miles and miles and miles and miles.” ~Pete Townshend and The Who

Continued on next page...

efficient at fuel stops, and reducing the total number of stops, will speed the trip and increase your average speed. Obviously, if you need to stop because your hands are numb or you are just plain drowsy, then stop. We all want

to live to ride another day and there is no “certification” worth risking your life for or the life of someone else.

Look for ways to simplify so you can increase your riding “efficiency”. I did do

one thing that was very simple and it turned out to be amazingly effective. As part of my pre-planning, I estimated how far I could ride between gas stops. Then I plotted those distances on a map and adjusted them to the nearest city or town big enough to have a 24-hr gas station. I used several online travel guides to help in this search. Once I had my gas stops located (usually by exit number), I wrote the exit number on a small yellow-sticky note and posted the note low on my inside windshield. Rather than have to remember all those numbers, highways, or cross-streets, or read a map on the go, I just glanced down at my note and I knew how far it was until the next stop. Obviously this little trick does not work so well at night, but it is easy and efficient none-the-less.

Point-to-point trips seem to be easier for me. When I go on vacation, getting there is half the fun and, psychologically, not as difficult a ride. This particular ride was a touch-and-go or “turnaround” ride and, as you may have experienced yourself, the road home seemed to be a lot longer and a lot more tiresome.

Document your ride if you are interested in getting a certification. Several certification associations, like the Iron Butt and the Long Distance Riders, require that you log your start, stop, and end points by documenting the time of day, location, and odometer readings at each stop. Hint: Use your watch, not your cell phone, to record the time. Most cell phones have a nasty habit of automatically converting time zones when you cross those magic lines in the atmosphere. This is fine in most cases, but when time is a critical factor, the conversions can make you second guess yourself, particularly when you make a stop and the time you record was earlier than the time you recorded on a previous stop!. Do your conversions when you get back home and when your head is a bit clearer! Most certifications also require that you get some sort of evidence of your travels, usually in the form of a gas station or convenience store receipts, indicating the location, date, and time of day. I took along a mailing envelop and a paperclip, also in my windshield pouch, to keep all my receipts together and in order.

Ride with a partner or a group. Again, from a psychological standpoint, having someone else to share the experience, and the pain, motivates you to carry on. It can slow the process a bit as everyone’s biological clock operates differently and not all aches, pains, and cramps happen at the same time while you are on the road, but the camaraderie is worth the price in time.

Whether you go alone or with someone else, take a radio. Music is fine by itself, but I found that it helped to have the radio DJ talking to me along the way. Even some really bad radio ads kept me mentally engaged in the ever-present drone of the engine, wind, and wheels.

Ear protection is a must. Not only healthy for hearing, I found that ear plugs quieted much of the engine and wind noise and made it easier to relax and take in all the visual elements of my surroundings. I found using ear plugs to be a double-edge sword, however. As the wind and engine

noise were reduced to a moderate hum, that steady hum itself made my eyelids get heavy and at times I really had to work to keep alert. As the ride progressed, I started switching between ear plugs, no ear plugs, and my radio at each stop as a way to break the routine. It was a bit of a hassle, but better safe than sorry.

Stop when you feel the need, particularly when you are tired and start having difficulty being alert. Even though you did a lot of preplanning, if you are feeling tired or weak, or your hands or legs start cramping, pull off the road and rest. Riding with a partner is also helpful in these situations because there are actually some spots where you could trade-off getting a few minutes of sleep while the other person watches the gear.

So, I guess that about wraps up my long distance ride across West Texas. I hope you enjoyed it. My apologies to you, the readers, for there being so few pictures from the trip. Time was precious, I wanted to get home safely, and I know that all of you understand that photography, fatigue, and solo riding are not compatible simultaneous activities!

If you’ve done a long distance ride, send me your tips, tricks, and good ideas and I’ll try to talk Bob and Shelly into putting a compilation of the best ideas in the magazine. Send your ideas to [email protected] or post them on the Thunder Roads Texas Facebook page at www.facebook.com/thunderroadstexas

Until next time, from the backroads…er maybe for this article it should read “from the Interstate Highways”.

More information for planning your long distance endurance ride can be found at the following web sites:

Iron Butt Association • http://www.ironbutt.com

Long Distance Riders • http://longdistanceriders.net

Guide to Interstate Exits • http://www.allstays.com/Special/interstate-exits.htm

Interstate Highway Travel Guide • http://itravel.mobi/pc/

Interstate Highway Exit information • http://www.thenextexit.com/

To map your ride, you might try Google Maps • http://maps.google.com/


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Allied Memorial Rememberance Ride AlliedRide.org Fort Worth Region: Prairies & Lakes Metro: Dallas/Fort WorthOne Ride, Three Nations: United in Remembrance of Our Fallen Heroes. Riding grops from the UK, the US (7 states), and Canada are riding on the same day in remembrance of those in the allied forces, who have paid the ultimate price in pursuit of the freedom and security we enjoy today. Join them – or start your own. Contact George “Tank” Sherman: 682.597.7469; [email protected]. All profits from the Texas ride benefits the Terrell Veterans Memorial Fund. Sponsored by Thunder Roads Texas.

White Horse Motorcycle Rally [email protected] Baytown Region: Gulf Coast Metro: Houston

Freedom Biker Sunday with Ben Priest 979.229.2291 Somerville Region: Prairies & Lakes Metro: Houston

4th Annual Mid-Year BBQ Cook-Off ToysForTotsToyRun.com Pasadena Region: Gulf Coast Metro: Houston

42nd Annual Ryan Place 4th of July Parade - Motorcycles Welcome HistoricRyanPlace.org Fort Worth Region: Prairies & Lakes Metro: Dallas/Fort Worth

Red White Blue Celebration 254.592.3538 Stephenville Region: Prairies & Lakes Metro: Dallas/Fort Worth

Ride for the Ribbon 893.444.8129 Shepherd Region: Piney Woods Metro: Houston

Annual School Supply Ride GoeHarley-Davidson.com Angleton Region: Gulf Coast Metro: Houston

McDade Watermelon Festival Car & Bike Show McDadeTexas.com 512.273.2505 McDade Region: Prairies & Lakes Metro: Austin

Spokes 4 Hopes Biker Fest WinstarPromotions.webs.com Grand Prairie Region: Prairies & Lakes Metro: Dallas/Fort Worth

Bikers Adult Rally BikerAdultRally.com Alvarado Region: Prairies & Lakes Metro: Dallas/Fort Worth

East Texas Choppers BIKE NIGHT Sponsored by Thunder Roads Texas EastTexasChoppers.net Terrell Region: Prairies & Lakes Metro: Dallas/Fort WorthThe Dallas-area Thunder Roads Texas BIKE NIGHT! Join Randy and the crew at East Texas Choppers in Terrell for live music, vendors, food, drink specials, giveaways and more! Thunder Roads Texas correspondents will be there when avaialble…don’t forget to get a picture with them for your Points Across Texas™ entry. This is a great venue – a good ride – and just plain FUN… THUNDER-style!

Easyriders Rodeo Tour EasyRidersEvents.com Columbus Region: Prairies & Lakes Metro: Houston

West Texas Blackgold Biker Rally BlackGoldRally.com Goldsmith Region: Big Bend Metro: Midland/Odessa

Christmas in July IndependenceHD.com College Station Region: Prairies & Lakes Metro: Bryan/College Station

6th Annual Christmas In July Rally 214.707.5585 Seagoville Region: Prairies & Lakes Metro: Dallas/Fort Worth

Crusie Against Violence 956.630.4878 McAllen Region: South Texas Metro: McAllen

Sons fo Bleachers Annual Benefit Fun Run 940.550.5173 Graham Region: Panhandle Metro: Wichita Falls

“The Original” Thunder Roads Texas BIKE NIGHT ThunderRoadsTexas.com Houston Region: Gulf Coast Metro: HoustonOur monthly (third Thursday) biker party with a few hundred of our closest friends! Held at Concert Pub North (2470 FM 1960 West, Houston, 77069. Sponosored by Renegade Classics in The Woodlands. Co-hosted by Outlaw Dave. Live music, vendors, stage games, door prizes, and MORE! LARGE reserved motorcycle-only parking, with plenty of cage parking, too. Rain or shine… the BEST and longest continually held bike night in Houston!

Cowboy Trikes Rally CowboyTrikes.com Lorenzo Region: Panhandle Metro: Lubbock

Biker Rule 4 School 903.530.9215 Tyler Region: Piney Woods Metro: Tyler

Run from the Heart Toy Run PhoenixMC-DFW.com Venus Region: Prairies & Lakes Metro: Dallas/Fort Worth

Bands & Bikers for Babies Awareness for Violent Crimes Against Our Children ImpactCenter.vpweb.com Cleveland Region: Piney Woods Metro: Houston

2nd Annual Fun Run 903.952.9081 Yantis Region: Piney Woods Metro: Dallas/Fort Worth

Benefit BBQ & Bike Ride for Olivia OliviasBenefit.com Richmond Region: Gulf Coast Metro: Houston

H2O Rally In The Crater RallyInTheCrater.com Mt. Enterprise Region: Piney Woods Metro: Longview

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1st Annual MG Grill Car Show 254.697.4904 Cameron Region: Prairies & Lakes Metro: Bryan/College Station

Benefit Biker Run 979.559.0040 Damon Region: Gulf Coast Metro: Houston

70th Annual Sturgis Bike Week Sturgis.com Sturgis, SD

Iron Cuff Rally ReguladoresSCT.webs.com La Grange Region: Prairies & Lakes Metro: Austin

4B Wild West Bike Rally 806.831.2409 Brownfield Region: Panhandle Metro: Lubbock

Brotherhood of Bikers Too Broke Party 254.230.7417 Mexia Region: Prairies & Lakes Metro: Waco

Periodic Mayhem Party PhoenixMC-DFW.com Venus Region: Prairies & Lakes Metro: Dallas/Fort Worth

9th Annual Women’s Center Brazoria County Benefit WCBC.org Angleton Region: Gulf Coast Metro: Houston

Ignacio Bike Week IgnacioBikeWeek.com Ignacio, CO

September 2-4 Summertime Bikes & Blues Festival FreeportBluesFestival.com Freeport Region: Gulf Coast Metro: Houston

September 8-10 Hot Springs Rally TheHotSpringsRally.com Hot Springs, AR

September 8-11 The Texas Rally TheTexasRally.com Somerville Region: Prairies & Lakes Metro: Bryan/College Station

September 14-18 The Golden Aspen Rally MotorcycleRally.com Ruidoso, NM

September 16-18 The Oldest Town in Texas (OTT) Rally OTTRally.com Nacogdoches Region: Piney Woods Metro: Tyler

September-11 Texas Honor Ride Fundraiser TexasHonorRide.org Conroe Region: Prairies & Lakes Metro: Houston

September 28-October 1 Bikes, Blues & BBQ BikesBluesandBBQ.org Fayetteville, AR

September 28-October 2 Myrtle Beach Fall Rally MyrtleBeachBikeWeek.com Myrtle Beach, SC

September 30-October 2 Texas National Motorcycle Rally TNMRally.net Baytown Region: Gulf Coast Metro: Houston

October 7-9 Boo Benefit BooBenefit.org Jefferson Region: Piney Woods Metro: Tyler

October 13-16 Biketoberfest Biketoberfest.com Daytona, FL

November 3-6 Lone Star Motorcycle Rally LoneStarRally.com Galveston Region: Gulf Coast Metro: Houston

November-11 Texas Honor Ride - The Ride TexasHonorRide.org Houston/San Antonio Region: Gulf Coast/South Texas Metro: Houston/San Antonio

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My name is Milton Vincent, though everyone knows me as Bubba, hopefully not the stereotype. I live near College Station, Texas and, yes, I’m an

Aggie.

In 2010 I entered and completed the first annual Hoka Hey Motorcycle Challenge. For those not familiar with this new long distance riding test, I will fill you in on a little of it. The starting point was in Key West, Florida and ended in Homer, Alaska. The route was approximately 8,500 miles and we had fourteen days to complete it. Due to wrong turns and missed turns, I rode 9,117 miles, but was able to finish in 11 days. The route was complicated and treacherous, secondary roads only, some unpaved. We were not allowed lodging, had to sleep with our bikes, when we slept. 680

riders started and only 211 finished. There were two fatalities and numerous crashes, some very serious. Most of us rode for 18-24 hours straight at a time, even more at times. It was an astounding experience. One in which we had to dig deep within ourselves to find a part of us we weren’t sure we had. It was a life changing, spiritual adventure.

As you may have heard during that time, there was a lot of controversy surrounding this run. I will admit there were some problems. This was the first time anything of this type had been done and there were a lot of bugs to work out and some mistakes were made. Some had to

be worked out on the run, by the organizers, but they did the best they could, being new to this sort of endeavor. Most of the naysayers were just crybabies that thought things should have been done differently because they weren’t done the way they would have done them. I do not think you can find one challenger, except those that quit or dropped out, that has anything bad to say about this event. It was all worth it. Enough so that I am entering again.

The next Challenge takes place this August. It starts in Phoenix, Arizona and goes to Glace Bay, Nova Scotia, Canada. It is advertised as 10,000+ miles, but the map makes me think it will be closer to 12,000. It will go through 3 countries and 48 states in a maximum of 18 days. There will be a mandatory 24 hour layover in Sturgis, so it will have to be completed in 17 days of riding. This is currently a Harley-Davidson motorcycle only event. There is a total pot of $500,000 that will be meted out among the top 25 placers. Last year it was $500,000, winner take all. However, of the riders I met and befriended, none mentioned the money. It is not a race, but a challenge; a challenge against ourselves. I never thought I had a chance of winning the money, so I competed with myself to do the best I could, which is what I did. I finished 63rd out o 600 entrants last year and could have been in the top ten, but things happen on the road that make you realize there are more important things in life than what place you finish. This year I have a completely different strategy. I ran it last year as a marathon, it wasn’t. It was a sprint and that is how I intend to run it this year. I know I can better myself for I am competing against myself and no one else.

I was sponsored last year by Independence Harley-Davidson in College Station, Yankee’s, and a few individuals.

Founder, Jim Red Cloud:The 2010 Hoka Hey Motorcycle Challenge route selected was not the shortest one to the destination nor was it intended to be easy to follow. It was designed to make riders pay attention as they rode through awesome natural wonders, amazing historical sites and expansive cultural diversity found within this great nation. This event is not a race, it is an endurance rally. The winner received $500,000, awarded during the Sturgis Rally at the Broken Spoke Campground.

By: Milton “Bubba” Vincent, Reader and Hoka Hey Challenger


The Hoka Hey Challenge

On a Friday afternoon last year we made our trek from Dallas to Wills Point for our second time of great partying at the PigStye Pasture Party. The fee for

the whole weekend is $12 in advance or $15 if you pay when you arrive. We wait till we get there to pay since in September we never know what the weather is going to do. The couple (and property owners) Dian and Charles AKA “Mutt” are great hosts. These folks are laid back and very down to earth. They raise cattle on their property out back and Mutt runs a vintage bike shop. Mutt got his nickname from his family when he was a youngster. His parents thought he sounded like Muttley the cartoon dog when he laughed so they started calling him Muttley. Later

he shortened it to Mutt.

I will begin with a little history behind its concept and where it is today. They began 15 years ago when their first gathering was actually a mandatory meeting for the club Mutt was a member of. They all had so much fun they decided to keep it going. The first four years were actually a “pasture” party where they played a few bike games but mostly they just sat around and had fun. At that time they did not have a band, stage or vendors. Everyone pretty much contributed food, drinks, grills and they all did the cooking together just like one big happy family. The fifth year, they went in with another bike shop and, although they didn’t

have a stage they decided to get bands, vendors, and even have T-shirts made. PigStye’s sixth year finally garnered a stage in the way of a large flat bed trailer. After this they just kept growing and trying to improve the party along with upgrades and additions to the stage. They now have a covered stage as well as a few more additions elsewhere such as port-a-potties brought in and trash receptacles.

Back to 2010’s gathering… while the party is going on, the cows are herded to the back for their protection from the crazies as well as our protection from them. Mutt drives around on his golf cart to socialize and make sure everyone is having a good time. He treats everyone like

family and is such a huggable teddy bear although he is a tall lanky dude. He will leave a lasting impression with you. He always tends to make everyone feel welcome and appreciates everyone that comes out. Kids are welcome to attend BUT Saturday evening after 10:00 p.m. the kids are sent back to their campsite while the adult activities commence.

Early Saturday morning we awoke to rain. In some ways it was great, although this meant we couldn’t get out and ride due to the slick mud. It rained all morning; sometimes quite heavy where we had to close the trailer door to keep rain out and other times we could leave it open to watch the rain come down. Still it was nice to chill and relax where we were. The high was a beautiful 87°.

Sometimes getting away from the city can be a relaxation in and of itself. There was definitely plenty happening on-site not to be bored. There were lots of girls participating in the tire pull behind 4-wheelers. Plus there were also folks running the track on dirt bikes and 4-wheelers. There was supposed to be the hot dog relay but it was too muddy for the bikes to do this. There were a few crazies riding their nice decked out bikes through the mud and some were even dumped. Most of these people were the drunken ones. Still you would cringe to see someone drop their nice bike.

We had a great band on Saturday night. I am not sure if they played the previous night or not but the music was great. Usually they don’t have a band on Fridays but they did this year. Dian and Mutt’s friend Bo usually takes care of booking bands. Dian and Mutt are quite fortunate to always have their bands show up.

In addition to the band on Saturday, there were a few contests. After the band finished playing they started bidding on who would have the opportunity to pour the ice water in the Wet T-shirt Contest. Our friend Jesse won the

honor to douse the girls with the ice water. He had always wanted to do this and he wasn’t going to let anyone out bid him. In all his excitement and desire to not lose, I don’t think he knew he was bidding against himself. Luckily the top and final winning bid was $100. The money would go to the winning gal in the Wet T-shirt contest. They also had the Ugliest Butt contest for the guys to participate in. From a girl’s point some of the guys in the Ugliest Butt contest were quite the characters. They put on quite the show strutting their stuff. It was entertaining to say the least.

The Wet T-shirt contest proceeded shortly after and there were definitely an abundance of women of all sorts, shapes, sizes and ages. There was one little cutie that hardly looked old enough to compete but the grand prize winner was the one with the large perky fake ones. Other than the winner everyone else was “au natural”. At least Lil Cutie won 2nd Place. From a girl’s point of view this just doesn’t seem fair. Guys, what am I missing here?

Lori Johnson emceed all this and had done so for the past two years I have attended. She is a hoot! She is quite entertaining and funny. There were donations collected throughout the weekend for both of the contests. You could choose where you wanted your contribution to go.

Another point, this is not a place to go to if you are looking to shop like at R.O.T. and some of the other rallies. They do have the usual “biker” vendors that sell and sew patches, as well as repair leather. There are several food vendors if you don’t want to make your own meals or go out of the compound. Some years have had more vendors than others; it depends a lot on the economy and 2010 was definitely one of the leaner years… but still loads of fun.

After the shows wound down I walked up to the entrance to buy a PigStye bandana and talk to Dian, Muttt’s wife. I learned quite a bit about this year’s party that almost wasn’t while talking to her. Throughout the year prior to

the rally she had talked to several vendors and they were all pretty much saying with the economy as it was, they wouldn’t be coming out since there just wasn’t the turnout as there had been in previous years at some of the other parties/rallies. With this information they almost didn’t have theirs either, but lots of inquiries from folks like me in regards to the party that year made they decide to go ahead and have it. Also, they usually have T-shirts to sell and even their T-shirt vendor pulled out at the last minute. Unfortunately, it was too late to get another T-shirt vendor to fill in on such short notice.

What I love most about this place even in hard times is the fact that this is definitely a place where bikers can be bikers, have fun and not have to worry about what others think. Also, in our case it is not too far from home but yet far enough from the hub-bub of city life to make it more than worthwhile. People come from all over the United States to relax at this little bit of heaven. They have no electrical or water but again they do have porta-potties that are well maintained. Even though it is cited to run over the weekend, many come a week in advance and stay for an additional week before heading on to the next event.

The PigStye Pasture Party takes place every September on the last full weekend of the month. This year it will be September 23-25. You can Google Map it at 4012 VZ CR (Van Zandt County Road) 3502, Wills Point, TX and you can also contact them for more information at [email protected] or 903-873-6644. I am sure if you are a vendor or band they would love to hear from you also.

If you are looking for a good time with good people this is your place. As always this party is about just having a great time. 2011 will be our third year to attend and I am already looking forward to it. If you are participating in PaT you can find me donned in one of the Texas Thunder Roads T-shirts on Saturday. Hope to see you there!


PigStye Pasture PartyThe party that almost wasn’tBy Joyce Siegert, TRT Correspondent

Saturday Night Band, Host, Wet T-Shirt Winner, Ugly Butt Winner, Emcee, Ice Water Douser Winner (in order)

This month, in honor of Independence Day, we celebrate our country’s history by taking at look at Texas’ connections to the building of the nation.

While recent white papers are now promoting Texas’ connection to the American Revolution (namely through Spain’s actions and the Texas Longhorn population), most of these links are still in paper form and not readily recognized through places to physically visit. For a map, that’s not helpful. So, we go to the next big “skirmish” – the Civil War. This ride map takes you through the northwest section of the South Texas Plains and the southwest corner of the Hill Country – both heavy in beautiful rides and Texas history. There are other Civil War sites in Texas. We will include “bonus ride maps” highlighting other Civil War sites in Texas with our weekly Web-zine (email) during July. If you’re not already signed up, you can do so through our website or our Facebook page.

A quick timeline of the Civil War, as seen from Texas:

November 6, 1860: Abraham Lincoln elected President • of the United States, prompting many southern states to secede in expectation of Lincoln’s freeing the slaves.April 12, 1861: The Civil War began when Confederate • forces attached a US military installation at Fort Sumter in South Carolina. February 1, 1861: Texas secedes from the United • States, in support of its “sister slave-holding States.” The Ordinance of Secession also listed the Federal government’s inability to prevent Indian attaches, slave-stealing raids, and other border-crossing acts of “banditry” as reasons for secession. Texas governor, Sam Houston, was thrown out when he refused to back the move.

February 18, 1861: US General David Ed Twiggs • surrenders all US military posts in Texas.March 2, 1861: Texas joined the Confederate States of • America.July 1861: Naval blockade of the South (Galveston).• January 1862: Lincoln formerly declares “war” by issuing • an order authorizing the Union to launch unified and aggressive action against the Confederacy.April 1862: The Confederate Congress passed a • conscription law that ordered all males 18-45 to be placed in service.August 1862: Battle of the Nueces, Kinney County, • between Confederates and a contingency of German immigrants attempting to remain neutral in the war (also termed “Hill Country Unionists”). The Germans were heading to Mexico to avoid the draft and were stopped at the Nueces River (near Comfort). Some were shot immediately, some drowned in the river, and others were captured and later executed. This confrontation is also known as the Nueces Massacre.October 1862: Confederates capture and hang suspected • Union sympathizers in Cooke County and surrounding areas. Forty die in the event, known as the Great Hanging in Gainesville.October 1862: Federal forces capture Galveston.• January 1, 1863: Lincoln issues the Emancipation • Proclamation, formerly declaring all slaves free, including those in the Confederacy. January 1, 1863: Battle of Galveston. Confederates • regain control of the city.March 1863: The First National Conscription Act (Union) • was put in place, making men between the ages of 20 and

45 liable for military service. The act also allowed for men to “opt out” by paying a fee or finding a replacement.September 1863: Battle of Sabine Pass. A small unit led • by Lieutenant Dick Dowling repulses a small union force under General William B. Franklin.November 1863: Federal army and navy occupy Brazos • Island and Brownsville.March-May 1864: Texas troops amass in Northeast Texas • around Marshall and Tyler to join Confederate action in the Red River campaign in Western Louisiana. Intense fighting at Mansfield, Pleasant Hill and other sites help repulse the federal invasion of General Nathaniel Banks.March 19, 1864: Federal attack on Laredo.• July 30, 1864: Confederate forces re-occupy • Brownsville.November 1864: Lincoln was re-elected.• April 9, 1865: Surrender at Appomattox Courthouse by • General Lee.April 14, 1865: President Lincoln was assassinated.• May 10, 1865: Jefferson Davis was captured in Georgia.• May 13, 1865: The last land battle of the Civil War, the • Battle of Palmito Ranch in today’s Brownsville, TX. (NOTE: This was a Confederate win.)June 2, 1865: General E. Kirby Smith, Confederate States • of America, surrends the Trans-Mississippi Department at Galveston.June 19, 1865: US General Gordon Granger, commander • of US troops in Texas, arrives in Galveston and orders enforcement of the Emancipation Proclamation, thereby ending slavery in Texas.

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Texas was primarily a “supply” state, providing men, munitions, and general supplies to the South during the war. This continued until mid-1863, when the Union captured the Mississippi River, making movement of cattle and men impossible. More than 70,000 Texans served in the Confederate Army and Texas regiments fought in every major battle throughout the war. Jefferson Davis greeted the first companies of Texas soldiers that reached Richmond, VA with “Texans! The troops of other states have their reputations to gain, but the sons of the defenders of the Alamo have theirs to maintain.”

Although in the South, there were some dissenters in Texas; Union supporters. About 2,000 Texas men joined the Union Army, making a name for themselves on the other side of the battle line. And, of course, there was a sizable group that attempted to remain neutral.

Obviously, this is a very short synopsis. So much more is available online and in special museums. For the purposes of your ride, here are some highlights of four of these locations…

#1 San Antonio:

Historical Marker: Civil War Centennial 1861-1961. Located on the corner of East Commerce and North Main, on the “Main Plaza”.

In February, you can be treated to a Civil War reenactment held at the Alamo. This dramatic event reenacts General David Twiggs surrender of all Union Forts in Texas to Colonel Ben McCulluch and his Texas troops.

Of course, San Antonio is one of the “tourist meccas” of the world, so there’s no shortage of things to see and do here.

#2 Comfort:

Travel north on I-10/Highway 87 to Comfort.

The German-language Treüe der Union (loyalty to the Union) Monument was dedicated on August 10, 1866 to commemorate those who died at the 1862 Nueces massacre. With the exception of those drowned in the Rio Grande, the remains of the deceased are buried at the site of the monument.

Not Civil War related, but of interest in Comfort…

The Old Tunnel Wildlife Management Area, just 13 miles north of Comfort, is home to thousands of transitory migrants… bats. The abandoned railroad tunnel was built in 1913 and has been home to the bats since 1942. Enjoy the site of thousands of bats emerging at dusk to go feed between May and October.

Comfort is known for their antique shopping, restaurants and B&Bs; and home to three of the 22 Texas Hill Country wineries. Seven buildings that were constructed when the town was first settled still remain. A large part of

the city has been designated a National Historic District, so there is a lot to see and do.

#3 Uvalde:

Travle west on Highway 27. Catch a left on San Antonio Street that continues on as FM 480 exiting Center Point. Just south of Camp Verde, FM 480 dead ends in Ranch Road 689/Highway 173. Take a left, heading toward Bandera.

Of course, you can stop in Bandera. There is so much to see and do there (it IS the Cowboy Capital of the world!)…

but we’re on a Civil War trek through Texas so we’ll continue through Bandera. Take a right on Highway 90, heading west toward Uvalde. Just south of Uvalde, on FM 140, there is a marker for Fort Inge. This was on the route of the Sibley Campaign (Union) from San Antonio to capture Fort Craig in New Mexico.

#4 Brackettville:

Continue on Highway 90 into Brackettville.

In Brackettville, the Sibley Campaign stopped at Fort Clark. The fort was home to a wide variety of uses, mostly related to Indian wars and a short stint as home to the Buffalo Soldiers. It officially closed in 1946. In 1971 it was converted to a resort/retirement center (Fort Clark Springs). The historic district of the fort is now on the National Register of Historic Places. They still hold their Fort Clark Days every March and they have a small museum honoring

the history of the fort (open weekends only).

Other places of interest near Brackettville…

If you’re a camper and/or love the outdoors, there is the recently opened to the public Kickapoo Cavern State Park. Formerly the Seargeant Ranch, this more than 6,300 acres across the Edwards Plateau offers camping, hiking,

picnicking, biking, bird watching and… bat watching May-October. There is also a primitive cave tour available with reservations and only on Saturdays.

Alamo Village – the replica built for the 1959 John Wayne movie. Often preferred over the real thing, probably because there is also a complete western town, circa 1880s on one side and a Mexican village on the other side.

Seminole Scout Cemetery – About 100 Negro Seminole Scouts played a major role in protecting the Texas Frontier from hostile Indians. The cemetery was established in 1872 on the Fort Clark Reservation.

Numerous historical markers are all over Brackettville, including many related to the Civil War.

#5 Eagle Pass:

Next and final stop before heading back to San Antonio is Eagle Pass. Head out of Brackettville on Highway 131, picking up (left on) Highway 277.

Fort Duncan Museum – During the war, Fort Duncan protected the Southern trade with Mexico. Today, visitors can experience and understand the fort’s role in the Civil War. Located in the old Commander’s Headquarters in the southwest corner of Eagle Pass.

Also to see in Eagle Pass…

Shopping! Either cross the border at the International Bridge or in shops located in old Eagle Pass.

Gambling! The only casino in Texas – the Lucky Eagle Casino, operated by the Kickapoo Tribe south of Eagle Pass.

To return to San Antonio – it’s a two-hour ride back up Highway 57. Total ride time is almost seven hours, so definitely plan to stay at least one night somewhere along the way and split the trip into two days of riding.

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We had the privilege to sponsor and participate in the first South Texas Biker Jam and Expo (STBJ). Created by Houston-area bikers, CJ Van

Wart and Tony Palermo, the show can be easily marked as a successful first year. With promises to make this a long-term annual event, CJ and the gang (with a lot of support from their families, friends, and the local biker community), are already working on 2012 plans.

We have watched motorcycle expos come and go in Houston. And when they went, their parting comments were that Houston couldn’t sustain a motorcycle-only expo. With more than 90,000 bikes registered (about 22% of all those registered in Texas) and an estimated 187,000 motorcycle license holders, Houston should be able to support a local show. Unfortunately, the shows that have come and gone were from outside Texas, much less Houston. While they had national support, they did little to embrace and engage the local biker community. As a marketer by trade, I also argue that they simply didn’t promote their shows much either. Advertising seemed to be an afterthought. Nobody can be successful with an “if you build it, they will come” attitude to marketing a product/service.

STBJ did both… they reached out to the local biker community through organizations like the Texas Honor Ride, San Jacinto High Rollers, Blowout Productions, the Outlaw Dave Show and, of course, Thunder Roads Texas. They engaged the city, with Mayor Annise Parker holding a press conference to announce the cities complete support of the show. They chose an impressive, centrally-located venue that came with a lot of resources. And they advertised and marketed like crazy. Working just about 24/7 for more than a year, they made sure the show was done right. These guys didn’t short cut… and they dealt with all the obstacles in style. If you have never organized an event, even a small one, they are not easy and come with all kinds of potential pitfalls. While you’re in the middle of one, it’s really easy to get stuck and think that nothing’s working on your side. All you hear are complaints and issues that you have to solve on-the-spot. Add to that

the stress of this being “your baby”, with your life savings invested… I commend these guys for taking it in stride, working through things, and providing Houston with one the best motorcycle events we’ve seen.

A two-day event Memorial Day weekend, Bob and I attended Saturday, along with our correspondents Kitty Kluna, Pete Martinez, and Bill Barnes. Both Kitty and Bill represented Thunder Roads Texas on Sunday. Both days were full of activity, vendors, and attendees – all the things necessary for success. We heard reports early Saturday morning that there were a couple thousand people waiting in line when they opened the doors. While organizers are still finalizing the numbers, I can tell you from our experience onsite that they will be impressive. There were plenty of vendors to check out, the public continued to roll in all weekend long, and with all the scheduled activities, you could stay busy all day, each day.

The South Texas Biker Jam and Expo went a step beyond the other expos, marrying the traditional “expo” with the “biker rally”. Organizers combed a curtained, inside vendor area full of traditional biker fair with your usual expo-type vendors (roasted nuts, cookware demos, jewelry); added biker rally elements, such as motorcycle vendors, bike builders, custom bike show, biker games, police escorted rides to the show, live rockin’ music, motorcycle dealers (both American and metric), a swap meet, and more; and pulled in some unique elements, such as a vintage bike display, Frisbee dog demonstrations, and a blood drive. This is what makes STBJ different. We applaud this first attempt at such a unique idea.

With activities such as a live broadcast from the show by the Outlaw Dave Show (Saturday night, 7-9:00 p.m.), biker games by Blowout Productions (both days), live auction benefitting the Texas Honor Ride, live bands on three stages, stunt shows by Seventh Letter, demo rides, tattoo competition, a woman rider fashion show with Beauties on Bikes, and more, there was always something being announced over the loudspeaker. Three of my favorites… 1) Biker Billy Cooks with Fire! The Harley-riding author put

on cooking shows in the expo and he is one character! But beware of the tastings… he loves to cook with really hot spices and peppers – hence the “fire”. 2) The Kissing Sailor, Glen McDuffie. I got to meet this gentleman and get a reprint of the famous Time Magazine photo signed by McDuffie, for my son (an avid collector of WWII history, thanks to his grandfather). To hear him tell his story of how the photo came about… laughter and tears from the audience. 3) And we can’t forget our friend, Blowout, and his fun biker games are always a hit!

While we were checking in at the management office (AKA headquarters) Saturday, there were already vendors reserving space for next year. By 1:00 p.m. on Saturday, the expo was full of attendees with a charged atmosphere. And while the hot temperatures outdoors kept most people inside during the day (except for when the stunt shows were going – always a hit), the outside biker bar and shows were hopping when it cooled down. I enjoyed the outdoor biker bar… it had a really cool “vibe”.

As successful as the show was, the organizers know that there were hiccups this first year… there are always hiccups in a first run. I don’t care who you are, no one can plan for absolutely everything. It was refreshing to watch as the STBJ team took notes as the event came together. Additionally, they had a meeting the week immediately following the event in order to discuss issues and changes for next year. Time can dull these feelings and they wanted to address the issues while they were still fresh in their minds. These guys mean business and are dedicated to giving Houston the best multi-purpose motorcycle event… one that we deserve.

So for those who missed it, make sure you don’t miss 2012. For those who attended this year and are considering next year, the organizers would like to let our readers know that they are working on the issues they heard most, specifically:

Motorcycle parking, better integrating the biker into the show; not having to get off the bike to purchase a ticket,

then get back on to go park somewhere else.

Vendor parking, improving organization and communication.

More variety of vendors, especially adding more biker-related vendors. Biker vendors are leery of first time shows and rarely attend them. These shows come and go and vendors get burned. So… with aggressive plans already in the works – make sure your favorite biker

vendors are at the 2012 show.

Lower beer prices. While they have little control over the pricing, the organizers are working with the venue to get those down.

Adding more food options, not only through the venue, but throughout the vendor space.

Reconfiguring the set up and hours to allow for more outdoor activities in the evening. They want to provide an outdoor area with high energy to keep attendees engaged and provide expo

vendors with an opportunity to enjoy the

show, too.

Possibly moving the dates. This year, they encountered conflicts with graduations. Watch Thunder Roads Texas and the STBJ website (SoTXBikerJam.com) for announcements.

Bottom line, in order to keep this unique opportunity, providing Houston with a sustainable motorcycle expo and rally, the industry and local riders need to support the event. 2012 vendors and sponsors are being accepted now. Thunder Roads Texas is already onboard for next year, as are many of this year’s sponsors and vendors. From the riders, the show needs your attendance, but also… talk to your favorite local shops and rally/event vendors; tell them you’d like to see them there. I know we can all come together to give Houston the best damn show it’s ever seen and continue it for years. Houston, we deserve this kind of show, we have the audience. So let’s support these local riders in their efforts to bring us one.

By Shelly Horan, Editor/Owner Thunder Roads TexasPhotography and Assistance from: Bob Cooney, CEO/Owner and Correspondents Bill Barnes, Kitty Kluna, and Pete Martinez.

Glenn McDuffie was a gunner in the United States Navy and had just started his leave on August 14th. “I was at the top of the stairs by the subway when the lady said, ‘Sailor, I’m so happy for you.’ I asked her ‘Why?’ and she said ‘Because the War is over.’ I ran out into the street, jumpin’ and hollerin’ thinking that my brother, who was on the Rattan Death March, might come home.”That’s when he saw the nurse with her arms out and, taking this as an invitation (he giggles), he kissed her. “I heard these footsteps running up and I didn’t know if it was a jealous husband or boyfriend. I saw it was a man taking our picture so I kissed her for awhile. I moved my hand back so he could see her face. It was a good kiss. It was a wet kiss.”Only in recent years did Glen find out the name of the woman he kissed. And while they never met in person again, they did share a few phone conversations before her passing last year.


Live Auction

Bike Games

Live Entertainment

Stunt Shows

Cool Bikes Vendors

Demo Rides

Live Radio Broadcast

Pretty Girls


Want to see YOUR mug in our mag? Send pics to [email protected].

A man and his wife moved back

home to Texas from Ohio. The husband

had a wooden leg and to insure it back in Ohio cost them

$2,000 per year! When they arrived in Texas, they went to an insurance agency to see how much it would cost to insure his wooden leg. The agent looked it up on the computer and said it would be $39/year.

The husband was shocked and asked why it was so cheap in Texas to insure, because it cost him $2,000 in Ohio!

The insurance agent turned his computer screen to the couple and said, “Well, here it is on the screen, it says: Any wooden structure, with a sprinkler system above it, is $39... You just have to know how to describe your situation.

(Texans know how to “git er’done”!)

Wayne’s wife, Debbie, had been after him for several weeks to paint the wooden seat on their toilet. Finally, he got around to doing it while Debbie was out. After finishing, he left to take care of another matter before she returned. Wayne got done with his chore, came back home, and undressed to take a shower. Before getting in the shower, he sat on the toilet, as his coffee was kickin’ in. As he tried to stand up, he realized that the not-quite-dry epoxy paint had glued his ass to the toilet seat. About that time, Debbie got back home and realized his predicament. They both pushed and pulled without any success whatsoever. Finally, in desperation, Debbie undid the toilet seat bolts.

Debbie wrapped a sheet around Wayne and drove him to the hospital emergency room. Ole’ Doc Baldwin got Wayne into a position where he could study how to free him. Debbie tried to lighten the embarrassment of it all by saying, “Well, Doc, I’ll bet you’ve never seen anything quite like this before.”

Ole’ Doc B. replied, “Actually, I’ve seen hundreds of them. I’ve just never seen one mounted and framed.”

At a deer camp, no one wanted to room with “Ratchet”, because he snored so loudly all night long. They decided to take turns. The first guy slept with Ratchet and comes to breakfast the next morning obviously sleep deprived. He said, “Ratchet snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night. The next night it was guy number two’s turn. In the morning, exact same thing. The others asked, “Man, what happened to you? “That damn Ratchet shakes the roof with his snoring. I watched him all night”. The third night was Bubba’s turn. Bubba was a sage, old-school biker. The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. “Good morning!” he boomed. They couldn’t believe it. “Man, what happened?” they all shouted. Bubba coolly replied, “Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Ratchet into bed, patted his butt, and kissed his forehead... Ratchet decided it best to stay up and watch me all night”.

An 86-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his test results come back normal. The doctor says, “Eddie everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?”

Eddie replies, “God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, *poof* the light goes on. When I’m done, *poof* the light goes off.”

“Wow, that’s incredible,” the doctor says. A little later in the day, the doctor calls Eddie’s wife. “Marianne, he says, Eddie is doing fine but I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and *poof * the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he’s done, *poof* the light goes off?”

“OH MY GOD!” Marianne exclaims, “He’s peeing in the damn refrigerator again!”

The boss of a Madison Avenue advertising agency called a spontaneous staff meeting in the middle of a particularly stressful week. (This is one pretty sharp boss!) When everyone gathered, the boss, who understood the benefits of having fun, told the burnt out staff the purpose of the meeting was to have a quick contest. The theme: Viagra advertising slogans.

The only rule was they had to use past ad slogans, originally written for other products that captured the essence of Viagra. Slight variations were acceptable.

About 7 minutes later, they turned in their suggestions and created a Top 10 List.. With all the laughter and camaraderie, the rest of the week went very well for everyone! The top 10 were:

10. Viagra, Whaazzzz up!

9. Viagra, The quicker pecker picker upper.

8. Viagra, like a rock !

7. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight.

6. Viagra , Be all that you can be.

5. Viagra, Reach out and touch someone.

4. Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.

3. Viagra, Home of the whopper!

2. Viagra, We bring good things to Life!

And the unanimous #1 slogan:

1. This is your peepee... This is your peepee on drugs.

Biker Bubba lost the Trivia Contest at his Christian Game Night Party last night by one point. Not only did he get the last question wrong, but was immediately asked to leave.

The question was: “Where do women have the curliest hair?” Apparently the correct answer is Fiji.

Knowing American History

It was the first day of school and a new student named Pedro Martinez, the son of a Mexican restaurateur, entered the fourth grade. The teacher said, “Let’s begin by reviewing some American history. “Who said ‘Give me Liberty, or give me Death?’”

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Pedro, who had his hand up. “Patrick Henry, 1775.”

“Very good!” said the teacher. “Now, who said, ‘Government

of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth?’”

Again, no response except from Pedro: “Abraham Lincoln, 1863.”

The teacher snapped at the class, “Class, you should be ashamed! Pedro, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do!”

She heard a loud whisper: “Screw the Mexicans!”

“Who said that?” she demanded.

Pedro put his hand up. “Jim Bowie, 1836.”

At that point, a student in the back said, “I’m gonna puke.” The teacher glared and asked, “All right! Now, who said that?”

Again, Pedro answered, “George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.”

Now furious, another student yelled, “Oh yeah? Suck this!”

Pedro jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shouting to the teacher, “Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!”

The teacher fainted, and as the class gathered around her on the floor, someone said, “Oh shit, we’re in BIG trouble now!”

Pedro whispered, “Saddam Hussein, 2003.”

Finally, someone threw an eraser at Pedro and another student shouted, “Duck”!

The teacher, just waking up and still a bit out of it, asked “Who said that?

Pedro: “Dick Cheney 2006!”

Teacher: “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him?”

Johnny: “Because George still had the axe in his hand.”

Father William, the old priest, made it a practice to visit the parish school one day a week. He walked into the 4th grade class, where the children were studying the states, and asked them how many states they could name. They came up with about 40 names. Father William jokingly told them that in his day students knew the names of all the states.

One lad raised his hand and said, ‘Yes sir, but in those days there were only 13 states.

What did Paul Revere say at the end of his ride?

“I gotta get a softer saddle!”

What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?

The Americans licked the British!

What’s red, white, black and blue?

Uncle Sam falling down the steps!


EVEN

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* West of the Brazos 23220 Hwy 36 Damon, TX 77430 979.742.3100 www.WestoftheBrazos.com Region: Gulf Coast Closest Metro: Houston

* Yankee’s Tavern 8703 Ada Oaks Ln Anderson, TX 77830 936.873.3314 www.yankeestavern.com Region: Prairies & Lakes Closest Metro: Bryan/College Station

Dealerships & Shops* Cowboy’s Alamo City H-D 11005 IH 35 North San Antonio, TX 78233 800.397.7875 www.cowboysalamocityharley.com Region: South Texas Closest Metro: San Antonio

* Cycle Heaven 3770 Hwy 69 N Lufkin, TX 75904 936.634.8404 www.cycleheaventx.com Region: Piney Woods Closest Metro: Tyler

* Harley-Davidson of Kingwood 111 Northpines Dr Kingwood, TX 77339 281.358.0457 www.kingwoodharley.com Region: Gulf Coast Closest Metro: Houston

* Harley-Davidson of Waco 4201 S Jack Kultgen Expy Waco, TX 76706 254-753-0393 www.hdwaco.com Region: Prairies & Lakes Closest Metro: Waco

* Houston Motorsports North 9550 FM 1960 West Houston, TX 77070 281.890.2020 www.houstonyamaha.com Region: Gulf Coast Closest Metro: Houston

* Javelina Harley-Davidson 29078 I-10 West Boerne, TX 78006 800-860-9696 www.javelinaharleydavidson.com Region: Hill Country Closest Metro: San Antonio

* Legacy Harley-Davidson 12100 W Hwy 80 East Odessa, TX 79765 800.788.6921 www.legacyh-d.com Region: Big Bend Closest Metro: Midland/Odessa

* Longhorn Harley-Davidson 2830 West I-20 Grand Parairie, TX 75052 972.988.1903 www.longhornhd.com Region: Prairies & Lakes Closest Metro: Dallas/Ft Worth

* Mancuso Harley Davidson - Crossroads 12710 Crossroads Park Dr Houston, TX 77065 281.970.9700 www.mancusocrossroads.com Region: Gulf Coast Closest Metro: Houston

* Motorcycle Tire Shop 1917 S Hackberry San Antonio, TX 78210 210.533 BIKE (2453) www.motorcycle-superstore.com Region: South Texas Closest Metro: San Antonio

* Phantom Rider Choppers 6535 West Hwy 46 New Braunfels, TX 78132 830.228.4606 www.phantomriderchoppers.com Region: Hill Country Closest Metro: San Antonio

* Potterosa Cycles & ATVs 19447 FM 1485 New Caney, TX 77357 832.971.3728 Region: Gulf Coast Closest Metro: Houston

* Southern Metal Choppers 11116 Middle Fiskville Rd, Ste E Austin, TX 78753 512.833.5044 www.southernmetalchoppers.com Region: Hill Country Closest Metro: Austin

* Team Mancuso Powersports Southwest 7537 Southwest Fwy Houston, TX 77074 713.995.9944 www.tmpsw.com Region: Gulf Coast Closest Metro: Houston

* Thunder Alley Cycles 416 NE Wilshire Blvd Burleson, TX 76028 817.295.0955 www.thunderalleycycles.com Region: Prairies & Lakes Closest Metro: Dallas/Ft Worth

* Yamaha of San Antonio 15664 I-35 Selma, TX 78154 210.655.2625 www.kentpowersports.com Region: South Texas Closest Metro: San Antonio

Biker Friendly Listed here are businesses that are SERIOUS about serving the Texas Motorcycle Community. The list is set up in categories. Regional and Metro information is included. An “*” means the location is a Thunder Roads Texas distribution point. Visit ThunderRoadsTexas.com to find a full listing of distribution points. Tell them you saw them in Thunder Road Texas!

Continued on Next Page...


Entertainment/Bands* Mean Gene Kelton 901 N Gaillard Baytown, TX 77520 713-866-4872 www.meangenerocks.com Region: Gulf Coast Closest Metro: Houston

Insurance & Attorneys* Ball Insurance 416 S Main St Highlands, TX 77562 800.444.7014 www.ballins.com Region: Gulf Coast Closest Metro: Houston

* Farrar & Ball Law Firm; Law Tigers 1010 Lamar, Ste 1600 Houston, TX 77002 713.221.8300 www.lawtigers.com Region: Gulf Coast Closest Metro: Houston

* Insurance Lady Agency 642 W Rhapsody, Ste A San Antonio, TX 78216 210.403.2216 www.insuranceladyinc.com Region: South Texas

Closest Metro: San Antonio

Walker Texas Lawyer 1924 Portsmouth Houston, TX 77098 713.552.1117 www.walkertexaslawyer.com Region: Gulf Coast Closest Metro: Houston

Lodging & Campgrounds* D’Rose Inn & Cabins Highway 83/Market St Leakey, TX 78873 830.232.5246 www.droseinn.com Region: Hill Country Closest Metro: San Antonio Points Across Texas GOLD Destination

DUBL-C Guest House (Gastehaus Schmidt Properties) Fredericksburg area: Located between Ingram & Hunt Ingram, TX 866.427.8374 http://www.fbglodging.com/properties/129/ Region: Hill Country Closest Metro: Austin

Motorcycle Towing* Dragonstar Motorcycle Transportation PO Box 444 Bryan, TX 77806 281.935.8890 www.getaride.net Region: Prairies & Lakes Closest Metro: Bryan/College Station

Mission Wrecker 4535 FM 1516 North Converse, TX 78109 210.341.0333 www.missionwrecker.com Region: South Texas Closest Metro: San Antonio

Riding Gear/Leather* Moto Liberty - Dallas 11441 N Stemmons Fwy, Ste 201 Dallas, TX 75229 972.243.5995 www.motoliberty.com Region: Prairies & Lakes Closest Metro: Dallas/Ft Worth

* PitStop 13028 Hwy 21 West Austonio, TX 75835 936.661.7518 Region: Piney Woods Closest Metro: Bryan/College Station

* The Hog Pound 13710 RR 12, #4 Wimberley, TX 78676 512.847.3444 www.thehogpound.com Region: Hill Country Closest Metro: Austin

Miscellaneous* Barry Claffey - Mullis A/C Houston, TX 281.468.5819 Region: Gulf Coast Closest Metro: Houston

Outlaw Dave Productions PO Box 25028 Houston, TX 77265 Region: Gulf Coast Closest Metro: Houston

Continued...Biker Friendly

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Thunder Roads Texas July 2011