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Toorak Uniting Church Update 28 August 2016
[email protected] Phone: 9829 0300 www.toorakuc.org.au
Still thinking — Children’s humour ~ Christopher Page Here are a few humorous stories attributed to children that I have collected over the years: I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!’
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents. While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop?’ ‘Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report. ‘My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?' While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!’ A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.' 'And why not, darling?' 'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning' The minister’s 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: 'Glory be unto the Father, and unto the Son, and into the hole he goes.' A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting my time,' she
Welcome to Toorak Uniting Church We welcome all people irrespective of race, religion, political views, gender, marital
status, sexual orientation, or age. Wherever you are on your faith journey, wherever you have come from and wherever you are going to; whatever you believe, whatever you do
not believe, you are welcome here at Toorak Uniting Church. Please come and join us after the service for fellowship and a cup of tea or coffee.
The Coffee Cantata is a little gem by Bach which is rarely performed. It is lovely music and not too long (about 45mins) and Cordelia's Potted Operas will present it at our own Manse Café on 3 September. The afternoon starts at 2.00pm with coffee and cakes (included in the price) and at 2.30pm we settle to listen to beautiful music performed by Rhiannon Stevens, Zachary McCulloch and Jamie Moffat with accompaniment by Kieran Crichton. This is a wonderful opportunity for two young emerging artists, Rhiannon and Zachary to perform alongside experienced performer Jamie Moffat. After the performance we continue to eat and drink and if the weather is fine we can sit outside and enjoy the sunshine! Tickets are $30 and can be purchased on trybooking.com or by contacting Cordelia Stee on [email protected] or 0425 853 071.
The new Congregation Directory is now available. Please collect your named copy from the rear of the Church this morning or from the Office on weekdays.
said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!' A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. 'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out. 'What have you got there, dear?' With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear!’ The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. ~e. e. cummings
The John Macrae Centre “Globe Theatre & Shakespeare’s London”
High Tea and presentation by Patricia Begg have been CANCELLED.
All enquiries to John Macrae Centre. Ph: 9829 0320.
Fellowship Morning Coffee TOMORROW at 10.30am, Faichney Room. Discussion: “Childhood Impressions of Poverty”. All welcome, do join us!
Old friends caught up in Queensland! Anne Smith, Lois Walker &
Graham Menzies send greetings.
Attending this concert will support people in their homes who are living with dementia and those loved-ones caring for them.
What's On at Kinross Arts Centre Heaven to Heaven Documentary Film Viewings Fridays 2, 9, 16 September at 10.30am - 11.30am in the Hodges Gallery. No need to book - just come to the Kinross Office at 10.30am and let us know you are here for a viewing. The documentary is by a team of Australian Islamic artists/film makers who filmed the Arba'een Pilgrimage walk from Najaf to Karbala and in-cluded interviews with scholars and pilgrims. New Exhibition: Birds of the Air - Portraits in Feathers 6-28 October 2016 Featuring wood block prints, drawings, bronze and stone sculptures inspired by Australian birdlife. Boutique Afternoon Performance: "A concert of birdsong" by Jacqui Rutten (singing; guitar; tin whistle) and Livia Judge (flute; singing) Sun 23 Oct, 2pm - 3pm. $20 Adults; $15 Conc./Pensioner; Children Free. Tickets at the door or email [email protected] SAVE THE DATE - KINROSS OUTREACH FUNDRAISER Advent House Opening with Private Art & Garden Tour in Toorak View a unique ceramic collection and enjoy a gourmet afternoon tea in a beautiful-ly restored and decorated 1879 family home. Fri 2 Dec 2.30pm - 4.30pm. $50 per ticket. Bookings: [email protected] Program Enquiries: Tel 9829 0340 or Email [email protected]
