Personality Incongruity: Studied

Indifference (Not Doing My Hair)

Maya Johnson

April 17, 2015, around 2:30 pm, I decided to do this project. I was indecisive

about what I wanted to do. While commonly washing my hair I decided to not style my

hair and allow it to air dry. After my decision, I was very reluctant to doing this because

my hair is not one texture and I am very ashamed of this fact. I consider this a flaw of

mine. After allowing my hair to air dry, I decided to head out and run some errands. I

needed some things for the house, so I needed to run to Walmart. My car was recently

hit on campus, so I also had to get an estimate cost for the damages done. Walking out

of my house, in Lake Charles, I saw my neighbors, Mrs. Mary and Mr. Robert, who are

up in age and are accustomed to a particular look they deem appropriate as well as an

understanding of how I carry myself on a regular basis. Their initial reaction was

nonchalant and normal. They welcomed me as if nothing was wrong. I was actually

waiting on Mrs. Mary to ask me what I have done to my hair because she knows that it

is always changing. After chatting for a while, I finally asked her how she felt about my

hair, and her response was “is it finished yet.” I thought it was hilarious and explained to

her my project and she proceeded to explain how I could actually wear my hair that way

because she has recognized a trend of people wearing their hair like that; her husband

said he liked it so much better than the dreadlocks on “the women.”

While we were talking, my mom was approaching our house and before actually

pulling in the driveway, she stopped in the middle of the street with the most disgusted

look on her face. I could not help but laugh, I tried to pretend as if I just up and decided

to wear my hair like this, but she was not having it. She demanded an explanation.

Once I explained, she still proceeded to say that it looks “very unorganized,” which led

to my little sister saying, “ya look uncivilized.” I knew that my family or friends would

take this incongruity well. I asked my mom if I could go with her to one of her preacher

wives’ events and she came up with so many, in my opinion, ungodly reason to why I

couldn’t attend her event. So, I left to get the estimate on my car. On the way there I

could not help but notice that people in others cars at stoplights were giving me some

strange looks. On my arrival, the man who would perform the estimate on my car gave

me a subtly surprised look, but said nothing about my appearance. I then felt a tad

convicted of showing up to a professional setting dressed inappropriately. Therefore, I

explained to him that I was doing a project. He said that my appearance would not have

interfered with the estimate. He continued to say, “If you want my opinion, you do look

kind of “wow.” We walked back into the office and he insisted I ask his colleague for her

opinion. She said her initial thought was I might have recently gone through a rough

wind/rain storm. We laughed and continued with the business of my estimate.

I then began running my errands, and grew quite uncomfortable going into stores

like Wal-Mart and Famly Dollar because I had relationships with many of the

employees, especially because of my association as “Pastor and Mrs. Campbell’s

daughter.” After receiving a plethora of strange looks and a few distant chuckles, I

began to ask people, “What were your initial thoughts of me?” A woman said I looked a

“tad cave womanish,” but I would have just be going natural. Her son said that he liked

my hair; it just looked similar to a chicken. I also took in consideration of how many

people did not react at all to my hairstyle. After returning home from running errands, I

grew leery of showing my friends how I decided to wear my hair for the day. I already

knew that they were my worst critics. I was the one that they looked to for the most

recent trends, especially because of what I decided to major in. They invited me in and

harmonically screamed. I was ambushed with questions of why I did it and thought it

was ok to wear my hair like this. My friend, Ciaara, the hairstylist, insisted she do

something to my hair. I stopped her and explained that I had a few more hours to wear

my hair like this. Khadijah and Precious, after understanding the criteria of my project,

were laughing so hard tears were coming out of their eyes which led to me laughing

because I know my friends love me even though they found an extreme amount of

humor in me walking around like that. Ciaara set an alarm on her phone because she

just had to do something to my hair. While she impatiently waited by her phone, the

other two seemed to not have been bothered by my hair at all. As the 9 o’clock hour

approached, I was itching to do something with my hair because walking around like

that was treacherous.

Questions to Ponder

The reviews received with my program of dress were definitely consistent. The

people who I interacted with definitely gave opinions that one would give to a person

walking around as if they either did not care about their appearance to others or of one

who though to attempt a new trend. They were more negative than positive. There

seems to be an opposition towards those who chose to go against what society says is

appropriate. The reviews, also, were definitely expected. I expected people to respond

negatively to my appearance because it was out of my character as well as a violation

of southern Louisiana social norms. Pertaining to myself, the way I wore my hair was

definitely inconsistent. I was reared in a way that a woman should make herself at least

presentable to the public, and the way I wore my hair and the response my mother gave

to my hair definitely proves that as a fact.

I must admit, this project was indeed a challenge for me because of the way I

was raised. I also can admit that many of my insecurities have formed from me being

raised to look of a certain prestige because of the reputations I contribute to. I also have

to form my own reputation as an individual. My neighbor, without any motivation

explained to me that I should understand my beauty no matter how I dress or wear my

hair. My initial emotions were regretful and wanting those six hours to already be over.

Those emotions grew into a sense of confidence because of the initial reactions of my

neighbors, especially, Mrs. Mary. Her words rang in my mind as I entered every setting,

that I am beautiful no matter how I present myself.

Factors like my insecurities and my vivid understanding of how many people

perceive me affected to accuracy of how interpreted the responses from others. I am

one who takes what people think about men affect how I present myself as well, as how

I think. I am working on improving some of those insecurities of mine, but I do have

grown to understand trends in how I allow people to control me. The explaining to those

who opinions I received about my project sight have slightly tainted their opinions.

I learned that appearance is very important and conformity in appearance does

not brutally affect high school students but everyone. Conformity in dress is a very large

contribution to social norms in society. It is of an importance that is not that has not

been recognized by the individual because it is not thought of as a basic human need to

the average individual. The vast majority of the meanings associated with my dress

were either my hair was not finished or it just looked horrible.

From this experience, I learned so much about myself. I am very capable of

understanding my beauty no matter what I wear. I also learned that I am very high

maintenance. I learned that though many people notice flaws, the number is double by

those who find positive things about you. I also learned that my little sister loves the fact

that I can do strange things like alter my daily appearance and continue to love myself. I

also understand that my appearance is tremendously involved in everything I do. It also

has a great effect on why certain people interact with me. Though this effect, I do not

allow my appearance to define me or how I interact with people. I loved this project, but

I will not dress this way again.