UALM News 1112 Doc Version

8/2/2019 UALM News 1112 Doc Version

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NEWSLETTER

Winter 2011"supporting lay ministry in all its forms"

Coffee after Sunday Service at Great Hucklow,

at the UALM conference November 2011.

Issue 5

www.ualm.org.uk


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Contents

3 Lament for Lorraine Shaw

4

6 Preside

7 Fran Pitt8 Conference memories Anna Jarvis

12 Friendship Anna Jarvis

13 My Spiritual Journey (so far) Sue Brayford

16 A Way-Side Tryst on the Journey of the Spirit Iain Brown

18 My Journey Fran Pitt

19 From there to here, my journey as a Unitarian Sue Woolley

21 Evening Worship at Great Hucklow Iain Brown25 Deathbed Ministry Jim Stearn

27 Dates for Your Diary

28 UALM Committee

*********************

Request for contributions to Stirrings 2012

th

anniversary of the Great Ejection, they are inviting contributions to their

celebration and requesting articles, poems, reflections or meditations,

inclusion in the Stirrings Newsletter for 2012. Please send anycontributions by 15

thJanuary 2012 to Winnie Gordon

[email protected]. Thank you.
mailto:[email protected]:[email protected]:[email protected]


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"Lament for Lorraine Shaw"It is with great sadness that we record the death of

one of our newest members, Lorraine Shaw, who

We remember her with love, and offer our prayers

and condolences to her family and friends.

One of our members, Gerald Witcher, who became

good friends with her, wrote these words in memory of her.

-

mails which reads as follows "For it was not into my ear that you

whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed but my

soul"

This to me was so true of her and although I only knew her for three

"Spirit of Life and Hope and Love, we find ourselves today in the

presence of unfathomable mystery, as with humble hearts we bow

before the veil which has fallen between us and one whom we have

known and loved.Help us not to fear - nor to surrender ourselves to grief alone. Help us to

remember that greater than sorrow is love, which endures through pain

and conquers grief. Love can bind all hearts in bonds of fellowship and

courage; they who love unselfishly face even the depths with courage,

for their strength is the strength of many and their courage rests upon

the love of friends.

Let us open our hearts now - all the windows of our hearts - in search of

the inner resources we shall need, if we are to face life's varied

experiences of joy and sorrow. At this time when ties of friendship and

kinship have been broken, we seek the peace of acceptance.

May the words, the feelings, and the remembrances we share in these

quiet moments strengthen us each in our grief, and all in our support,

one for another. Amen" (Prayer by Michael Dadson)

May she rest in peace.


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Good grief! How did I get here? My mother always told me that the most

and that the second most

no. And guess what she was right on both points. And I clearly still

have a lot of learning still to do!

Which reminds me

Joanne McGeehan introduced herself as the new editor, but regretfully

she is not continuing, so here I am Anna Jarvis, based in Knutsford,

Cheshire, member both of Brook Street Chapel, Knutsford, and Dunham

a lapsed period during my twenties. I rediscovered my faith about six or

seven years ago, have since done the Foundation and Preliminary Steps of

for ministry training in January.

raise three young children (Amy 6, Sophie 4 and Nathan 2 Nathan holds

the record of being the youngest person to attend a UALM conference at

s going,

and grow my vegetables. So plenty of spare time then!

Anyway, enough about me did you know that UALM membership is

now over 60 - how amazing is that! A very warm welcome to all those

of you who have joined, or rejoined, UALM over the past year. Forthose of you reading this who are not yet members, ask yourself these

questions. Do you take services for a Unitarian congregation, or would

you like to learn how to take services? Are you involved in or interested

in Unitarian lay leadership and lay ministry? If the answer to any of

these is yes, or even just a maybe, then please join UALM! There is a

newsletter twice a year, a weekend conference in November at Great

Hucklow (this is both educational and inspirational, challenging andentertaining), the opportunity to meet with other members, and lots of

information about the Worship Studies Course.


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The best way to explain exactly what we are about is to show you our

mission in life read on!

UALM Objects:

1. to support all those involved in delivering worship in Unitarianchurches and chapels

2. to support all those involved in lay leadership of a Unitariancongregation, whatever form this might take

3. to promote and share best practice in Unitarian worship and layministry

4. to support the General Assembly of Unitarian & Free ChristianChurches

It should be stressed that UALM is open to ministers, lay leaders and

Unitarians who are interested to any degree in the delivering and

improvement of worship and leadership through lay ministry, whether

you are a lifelong Unitarian, or only joined us last week everyone has

something to offer.

So, finally. Welcome to this latest edition of the UALM newsletter, I hope

you enjoy it, and find something to inspire you, encourage you, comfort

you or entertain you within these pages. Constructive criticism is always

welcome my e-d love to hear from you if

you have ideas for new articles, changes and improvements. And

particular thanks to everyone who has contributed here was I worried

about lack of material! What a wealth of talent we have.

Most of all, at this time, I wish you a peaceful Christmas, and a love-filled

New Year may there be stars above you to guide your way.

Anna Jarvis

N.B. All views expressed in this newsletter represent those of their

author, and not necessarily those of UALM.


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Banbury Fellowship held their Christmas

service on 18th

December at the Town Hall,

where we usually meet on the 4th

or last

Sunday of each month, but we decided to

meet a week early as we felt that we did not

really want a meeting on Christmas morning.

So we held a Christmas Kaleidoscope service.

This was also the occasion of my final service

-

Student Minister until the Summer, when sheis due to be formally welcomed into the

denomination as a professional minister, and

After a most delightful service, in which by chance cats featured (!), but

more of this another time perhaps, we all shared a glass of sherry and a

mince pie, during which our Chairwoman, Elaine Nomura, gave a shortspeech, thanking me for my years of service to the Fellowship, and

presented me with a floral basket and an M&S gift voucher. This was

completely unexpected, and I was most moved by their kind gesture.

he music for worship there for the past 40 odd years

at least, and also doubling as Lay Leader since the start of this century.

So this occasion brought to an end quite an important phase of my life;starting many years ago, when I was invited to join an infant

organisation being set up by folk in positions of responsibility in our

churches, who were providing lay-led leadership to their own

congregations. We were eventually accepted by HQ, and given a page of

our own in the denominational directory. I was the second person to

take on the job of Secretary of UALL (Unitarian Association of Lay

Leaders), and after some 14 years or so, I passed it over to our current

Secretary, whose energy and unenviable talents have transformed it into

MalcolmSadler


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UALM (Unitarian Association for Lay Ministry), of which I now have the

pleasure and privilege of being President.

So for me and all my friends at Banbury, 2012 sees the start of a whole

under the guidance of our indefatigable Secretary. I wish you all a very

successful and happy year to come, and look forward to meeting many

of you either at the General Assembly meetings and/or at our Annual

Conference in November.

All good wishes,

Malcolm

There is something about the Nightingale Centre, by Fran Pitt

Even with the excellent refurbishment of the dining room, its not exactly

modern and trendy; rooms are basic, beds narrow, showers miniscule

about it. But it always quickly weaves a spell so that as dusk fell that

late-November evening, as we gathered in the sitting room waiting for

and greeting each newcomer, it quickly became our familiar world and

our home.

But there was no opportunity to slump into cosiness: Sue Woolley, with

boundless energy, had mapped the weekend with a fine pen, and there

ministry contract (which has frightened the life out of me!). All good,useful stuff, and well worth travelling from Somerset for.

intimate and pretty and joining the village for the Sunday morning

service is a pleasure. This time, during the hymns and after every reading

we had the added delight of dressing the Christmas tree. The friendly

congregation made us welcome, and we learnt that without theNightingale Centre visitors, the chapel would find it hard to keep going.

Fran Pitt


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Conference memories, by Anna Jarvis

This was the fourth conference I have attended, and it more than lived

as we swapped experiences, thoughts and beliefs about ministry.

After an excited Friday evening meal as we all caught up with each

other, there was a quick business meeting and a taste of the wonderful

worship we would experience throughout the weekend in the epilogue

led by Chris Pilkington. One of the great joys was seeing our President,

Malcolm Sadler, back after several months in hospital that forced him to

and we wish him a continued recovery in

2012.

Saturday as always was the busy day morning devotions at 8am, where

we greeted each other all over again, but this time in silence, touching

hands. Then, after breakfast, we split into three groups, to share our

joys and concerns at what was happening in our lives and ministries at

the moment, and to offer support, encouragement and advice to each

other.

Our first full

categories such as Worship, Administration, Buildings, Pastoral Care, etc.

That was the easy bit. We were then split into groups again, each group

given a different scenario of a congregation, and asked to devise the job

decided to appoint. Just to spice this up, we also had to allocate the

time needed to be dedicated to each aspect, either in hours per month,

or in my group, we sneakily did it by percentages! It was interesting how

day, and 31

days a month! Winnie finished by circulating a draft version of a

ministry contract for discussion, and this will continue to be developedand debated.


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The first half of the afternoon was scheduled as free time, or a meeting

about the Worship Studies Course which resulted in no-one having any

free time, as everyone attended the session. The interest and

enthusiasm generated by this course is quite spectacular, though I can

envisage the course Tutors getting slightly nervous about the amount of

work that might be headed their way for marking! Still, as I said in my

editorial, always ask a busy person when you need something doing!

And the feedback was that the tutors do this particular job extremely

well, providing encouragement and support, but also firm and clear

guidance from all those who have undertaken any of the Preliminary

or Advanced Courses, a resounding thanks was offered to the three

tutors, Rev Alex Bradley, Rev Dr Vernon Marshall, and Rev Ernest Baker.

Anyone wanting information about the course can contact theAdministrator, Winnie Gordon her contact details are at the back of

this newsletter.

After coffee, Rev Alex Bradley led us in a session looking at Spiritual

Ministry. We talked about telling our sacred stories, and how we can do

that using both freshness and familiarity, innovation and tradition. We

also discussed what can influence our spiritual ministry, such as animalsand the natural world, and particular places, whether the countryside, or

even built up areas and particular buildings. One phrase that was used,

us

struck a particular chord with me. Sadly, we had to stop for tea, but I

got the feeling that we could have gone on for hours although poor

After yet another delicious meal, we convened for the final full group

session, this time led by our Secretary, Sue Woolley, on small-group

ministry. We examined three main questions what are the advantages

of small-group ministry (e.g. intimacy, sense of safety, more chance of

being heard, better bonding), what are the barriers to small-group

ministry working well (e.g. cliques, discrimination, exclusivity, people

being either too nervous to participate, or being over-dominant), and

finally what are the principles of Small-Group Engagement that would


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allow groups to function at their best (ground rules, a neutral, safe and

or to be silent, and to make sure no-one is talked over or interrupted.)

Feeling exhausted, full (both of food and of food-for-thought), we were

led in the evening epilogue by Iain Brown the text of this can be found

later in this newsletter, for which many thanks, Iain. Finally we retired

although no-one had brought

an

capacity to consume them, we all felt very well nourished, both

physically and spiritually.

In the morning, we held our plenary session, where we brought any

comments about the conference this included a huge thank you to Sue

and the committee for all the hard work they did to arrange everything

so well. We also discussed what our future conference topics might be

this included a session on sharing resources perhaps on a particular

theme, e.g. Christmas; prayer, what it is, what it means; spiritual

practices nurturing ourselves, spiritual nurture; coping with seasonalfestivals; rites of passage. These suggestions would be submitted to the

committee to help them begin to arrange next years conference.

It was also suggested that the newsletter could be used as a means of

introducing ourselves to the rest of the UALM membership, by having

a

short look at how we got to where we are, and maybe some thoughts

about where we might be going. Hence you will find articles by SueWoolley, Sue Brayford and Fran Pitt, all of which make for inspiring

reading my thanks to all three of them.

In a very large aside, next

23rd

to Sunday 25th

November 2012 and we look forward to seeing as

many of you there as possible. Put it in your diaries now!

In the final part of the conference, we all joined the Hucklow

congregation in the Chapel for an amazing First Advent Service led by Liz


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-Person-In-Charge and a UALM member.

Numerous UALM members at the conference contributed with readings,

and at the end of each reading or mini-address the speaker added a few

decorations to the Christmas tree. My favourite part (although it had

reading of the Litany of Comfort for Blue Christmas, by Debra Faulk I

see, even in the worship, we are learning and growing!

We joined the congregation for tea and coffee afterwards in their nearly

newly refurbished meeting room, before making our way back to the

Nightingale Centre for our final meal together before saying our fond

farewells and returning home not rested, but definitely rejuvenated.

My thanks once again, on behalf of all of us, particularly to Sue Woolley,

and to all the committee and officers, for all their work in running this

amazing group, and offering us such an inspiring conference, year after

year.

Anna Jarvis

Wordsto celebrate the conference

One of the old ones stood up into the morning light and spoke to those

who had come back to the river: "Now we have come again to this place;

it is a good thing. My life apart from you is not as strong. Yes, I have

danced and I have told the stories at my own fire and I have sung to all

the six directions. But when I am with you, my friends, I know betterwho it is in me that sings."

Barbara J Pescan


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Friendship

Our truest friends

Know well our every weakness

Point out our faults with kindness

And love us still.

Our closest friends

Delight in our joy and celebrations

And love us still.

Our dearest friends

Support and encourage our deepest dreams

Acknowledge and understand our darkest fears

See our best and our very worst sides

And love us still.

Our friends are our critics, our conscience, our judges.

Our friends are our comfort, our strength, our lifeblood.

Value your friends and the love that they give you

By being the very best friend that you can.

Anna Jarvis


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My Spiritual Journey (so far), by Sue Brayford

As a child I attended a Methodist Sunday School. This was influenced by

my paternal grandparents who were staunch Methodists. My great,

great Aunt Leticia walked 30 miles to hear John Wesley preach at Mow

Cop near Stoke on Trent and she brought up my grandfather. My

parents would go to Chapel reluctantly at Christmas or Easter. These

early experiences were positive for me. I remember them with

happiness and remember the warmth and kindness I felt from the

people.

As an adult I did not feel inspired by going to Chapel but I always

enjoyed the singing. My attendance was infrequent.

After being married for 18 years I realised my husband had a drinking

problem and I was told about a self help group called Al-Anon for people

in my situation. They suggested that we develop a spiritual connection

and to decide on our own concept of God. For me this was a challenge

since I had felt abandoned by God when my father died when I was 10

years old.

However I did get great spiritual strength from attending these groups

over a number of years. I listened to group members share their

experience, strength and hope and met literally thousands of people

including children and young teenagers and I became involved in

running Al-Ateen which was an organisation for children affected by an

alcoholic parent.

These groups had a profound effect on my life. Teaching me through a

programme called the 12 steps which we were encouraged to go

through with someone we had come to trust from within the fellowship.

These were the 12 steps taken from Alcoholics Anonymous which we

were encouraged to follow.


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The Twelve Steps

1 We admitted we were powerless over alcohol that our liveshad become unmanageable.

2 Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves couldrestore us to sanity.

3 Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care ofGod as we understood Him. (or He, She or It in Al-Ateen)

4 Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.5 Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the

exact nature of our wrongs.

6 Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects ofcharacter.

7 Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.8 Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to

make amends to them all.

9 Made direct amends to such people wherever possible. Exceptwhen to do so would injure them or others.

10 Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrongpromptly admitted it.

11 Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our consciouscontact with God as we understood Him(He She or It- in Al-

Ateen) praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the

power to carry that out.

12 Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these Steps, wetried to carry this message to others, and to practice these

principles in all our affairs.

The effects of this experience remain with me and I still use the ideas

and suggestions today. Now I use my interest in Kundalini Yoga to

achieve a conscious contact with God and I have a daily meditation

practice.

I have been on a long spiritual journey which has lead me to explore

many different ideas. As my awareness of myself and how I function in

the world grew I felt the need to find more and more information.


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I studied counselling and psychotherapy and went to many workshops,

talks and discussions including Astral Travel meditation, How to Heal

Your Life workshops-using positive affirmations to heal illness and

workshops on UFO experiences and conspiracy theories. I became

involved with Peace organisations and went to Peace gatherings. These

had a strong spiritual aspect praying for World Peace and linking into

North American Indian prophesies and teachings. I even stayed in a

Tepee on a very wet weekend in West Wales!

It was during this period that we came to live in Arnside and saw in the

paper a meditation group advertised at the Kendal Unitarian Chapel, so

we came along and found a very warm welcome from the coffeemorning crew particularly Marjorie, and also a minister who was

interested in some of the things we were interested in.

I feel I have found here a fellowship which gives me what I need to carry

on with my spiritual journey. I feel part of a Unitarian family. We have

our squabbles like any family but we strive to be tolerant and allow one

another freedom to reason life out for ourselves as the free thinking,spiritual individuals that we are meant to be.

For this I feel a debt of gratitude to our forebears who suffered for their

Faith and who have left us a great legacy which I will strive to honour to

the best of my ability.

Sue Brayford


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A Way-Side Tryst on the Journey of the Spirit? by Iain Brown

I was part of an Engagement Group which died. It struck me afterwards

that quite possibly there is a stage of sharing which may be necessary in

some congregational situations before an Engagement Group can

prosper.

I propose that those who are attracted to the idea I am about to

describe first choose from within the congregation a partner with whom

they feel comfortable in sharing their personal journey of spiritual

development. That person should not be their spouse or partner. Once

they have met and drawn up together a list of people they both would

feel comfortable sharing with (and, if they prefer, a person or two they

would wish to avoid for the moment, not necessarily for always) then

they should invite two other people with whom to share.

There should be no questions asked if the invitation is refused by anyone.

There are many reasons why people are willing to speak with some but

not at present with others until they are stronger or better able to

express themselves.Also nobody should expect to work round the wholecongregation and end up sharing with everybody. There should be

nothing systematic or compulsive about it.

The four who have agreed to explore together can then meet as they

please

there are potential dangers of inequality, territoriality and even

competition in that) but, better, in a neutral place - perhaps over ashared meal in a restaurant, in a bar or even just in the church buildings

(although, again I recommend getting away from that setting to begin

with).

They should schedule their coming together to last for a couple of hours

or even schedule to continue over two meetings (perhaps best of all

because it allows time for reflection in between). They should each beready and willing to share their spiritual journey with the other three

and reflect on how their life experience might have shaped it. The


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others should listen with complete acceptance, with respectful

questioning, with confirmation from their own journey. It should be a

place of rest and reflection and perhaps of growing insight a real Way-

Side Tryst.

People who partner each other in this deepening by foursomes must not

expect to do so forever. I do not believe they should do it more often

than twice. They should move on separately to join up with other

people and share different experiences.

I shared my ideas with an American woman, Jane Dwinell, who wrote

speaker at the GA a couple of years ago on growing congregations. Sherecommended that I should develop them because she thought they

could enhance the spiritual development of individuals and, in time, of a

whole congregation.

This not an intellectual Build Your Own Theology group nor is it a

confessional group. We are interested in spirituality which, I would

contend, is beyond theology or morality. The important differencebetween such a Way-Side Tryst and an Engagement Group is that in this

way of deepening the spiritual life of a congregation everybody is

allowed to choose who they will share with and who they will not. It

could be seen as a stage before an Engagement Group which is

theoretically open to anyone when a Way-Side Tryst is more protected.

Finally the small size of the group at the Way-Side Tryst may encourage

even the most confident and assertive and well- defended of us to dig alittle deeper into the softer more vulnerable side of ourselves and bring

light within where perhaps a certain protective dimness reigned before.

My hope is that such an experiment could later help people who had low

confidence and perhaps low trust of some others in the congregation to

move towards the more open sharing of an Engagement Group. But, of

course it is really for everyone.

Iain Brown


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My Journey, by Fran Pitt

How did I get from tub-

Unitarian Chapel?

-box C of E, and from gabby

adolescence I heaped scorn on those who believed in God, claiming

church was just a club for the needy and snobs massaging holier-than-

thou egos -

In my thirties, having met committed Christians who impressed with

their serenity, I moderated my attitude: I began to think that my atheism

was maybe just a tad too arrogant.

Increasingly, I looked at Christianity and shook my head over the

unpalatable bits, reaffirming my agnosticism. But, like many before me, I

puzzled over God outside of religion, until I had a revelation. I looked at

a starry night sky and thought, as one does, how huge it was. Then, as if

a lens had fallen across my eyes I really saw the true immensity of the

Universe. Wow! Something truly awe-inspiring, vast, ageless, dwarfed

name it.

And I was the only person in the world who thought that way. Then, ten

years ago, looking around buildings during Heritage Open Days, I visited

Mary Street Chapel. I looked at its history, felt its ambience, and I was

told about Unitarianism. Surprise, surprise, other people think as I do!

habit to acquire, except that the day I found Unitarianism I also found a

lump in my breast. And three days later, whilst I

surgery, planes flew into the Twin Towers. In the personal and earthly

emotional turmoil that followed, I attended a memorial service at Mary

The day after cancer was diagnosed, Jo Jarrett, the Lay Pastor


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home after surgery, my surgeon called to tell me that, to his

d keep a

typically Unitarian open mind, but I became committed to the chapel

and its members. Even with radiotherapy and the sudden menopause

caused by anti-cancer drugs, the following year was possibly the most

positive and happiest of my life.

with my congregation - not especially needy people, not a smug,

preening, self-righteous bunch - as we look to our spiritual welfare and

ly on this world.

Fran Pitt

From there to here, my journey as a Unitarian, by Sue Woolley

Like many Unitarians, I was not brought up in a Unitarian context, and

spent my primary years at a little school, which held assembly every day.

We followed the round of the Christian year, and sang all the lovely

Christian hymns, without questioning their meaning. As a teenager,doubts began to creep in.At the age of 18, I had a long conversation with my father, who had been

brought up a Unitarian, but who had not attended church for many

years. He explained that there was an alternative to mainstream

requiring you to suspend disbelief. He gave me a copy of little book Beliefs of a Unitarian, and it had a profound effect on me. So


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I was a member of various Unitarian congregations during my twenties

irst service, at

Peter Galbraith had just retired, and we had decided to try to take

services between ourselves. It took me about three weeks to put

together, and every element was rehearsed aloud and timed anxiously.

Fortunately, they seemed to like it, and I took another service a few

months later.

Gradually, as I got more experienced, I started to be invited to lead

services elsewhere in the Midlands, and then learned about the brand-

new Worship Studies Course, which I signed up for in March 2006, and

completed in February 2007, much to the consternation of one of thetutors, who thought I was rushing things. But my point of view was that

ervice a week, so why not do

inary and Advanced Steps

of the WSC to anyone. The tutors are brilliant, and give honest,

constructive and wise advice about how to put together a decent

service.

The last few years have been amazing. I became District Facilitator of the

Midland Unitarian Association in March 2008,which has led to leadingworship all over the Midlands, which I love. In September 2008, I

became Secretary of the newly-resurrected Unitarian Association for Lay

Ministry, and am SO PROUD of how far we have come since then! I was

accepted for ministry training in 2009, and started at Harris Manchester

College Oxford in September 2009. I also did a Diploma in Biblical &Theological Studies at Regents Park College Oxford, which was

fascinating.

taking on leadership of the Banbury Unitarian Fellowship as well, which I

Sue Woolley


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Evening Worship (UALM Conference Nov 2011), by Iain Brown

I have never met Peter Godfrey that I remember and, if we did ever

meet, I guess he will remember it no better than I. But twice in the last

few days I have come across writings of his. Just yesterday in the

corridor here at Hucklow, I read a letter of his in The Inquirer arguing

that it mattered less whether you were a Christian Unitarian or a non-

Christian but rather that you should follow your truth. Then last week I

was reading the latest edition ofFaith and Freedom in an article by him

Williams, formerly a Professor of Astronomy at University College,

London and a Unitarian.

the Universe has been created to house a civilisation that exists for only

one millionth of the age of the Universe. Surely this could not be the

intention of a Creator God? A Creator God made a Universe containing

billions of galaxies, each containing billions of stars so that one of these

stars could have planet Earth on which we live to worship the Creator.

Can this be right? This speck of dust on which we live is in a Universe

that is a billion, billion times as massive. Did a Creator God really go to

Of course he is anthropomorphising God, painting him her or it, rather

as our ancestors did as thinking and having human motives, but he is

making a powerful point in a fascinating article.

In an opinion written in the Inquirer and then a part of an address now

that would limit him, her or it and I would almost certainly cease to

believe in such a God that had immediately become too small. Rather,

as I sense or imagine mine, it is the God you and I cannot escape

Like many other people in the Unitarian Church, even the use of the

as referring to the traditional Judeo-Christian patriarchal, judgemental


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version that I do not believe in. Sometimes when I hear God described

it to please stop the cholera epidemic in Haiti or when God is described

to God as Love if they want, they can worship Truth as a God or Justice

as a God, but these Gods are much too small to encompass my

Some years ago I took my two daughters to Sanibel, an island off the

East Coast of Florida, a dwelling place of millionaires (we stayed in a

motel) and, if I could have found it among the chaos of the academic

junk yard that is my house, I would have brought you a lovely quiet

restful tape of the gentle rills of the Gulf of Mexico breaking quietly onthe beach among the sand dollars. It was supposed to be for relaxation

but I have never used it.

But some years ago that same place, Sanibel, was covered up to a depth

of twenty five feet in a storm surge from the core of a hurricane when,

no doubt, a few millionaires were killed. Probably many of them

believed their God was Love and appealed to him as they weredrowning. You are entitled, if it pleases you, to go around in a pink haze

of sentimentality believing that God is love and even perhaps especially

staving off nightmares in children but that is a God I cannot believe in.

Most of us here spend many of our waking hours serving the values of

truth, compassion or love, justice and others. For some of us our lives

are quite dominated by these values, even to the extent that an outsidermight consider us quite driven or even imprisoned by them. Sometimes

these values are in conflict with one another and one of them has to

take precedence over another.

Just for tonight, like Peter Godfrey, I am going to press the case for

truth. I believe that truth is the key value because I believe that, without

truth, our compassion is misdirected and our love is love for an illusion.

Without truth our justice is a cruel farce.


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There are the values of the Enlightenment but they are NOT OUR GODS.

They are the values of contemporary humanists but we are more than

just humanists. We reach beyond these human values to seek to

appreciate that which our ancestors called God and is often now called

translated as Existence).

To return to my problems with describing God, in a sense I am creating

for myself an impossible position, painting myself into a corner. If you

are not allowed to describe your God at all for fear of being told he, she

or it is too small, then any articulate companionship in the spiritual life

obviously becomes impossible.

So when I express the impossibility of my believing in any God that I

could define, I must also express my admiration for those people who

are courageous enough to take up the challenge of using words to make

some approximation to what they experience as their God.

There some magnificent examples. Among my favourites is Einstein:

feeling to anyone who is entirely without it. The individual feels the

nothingness of human desires and aims and the sublimity and

marvellous order which reveal themselves both in nature and in the

world of thought. He looks upon the individual existence as a sort of

prison and wants to experience the universe as a single significant

whole.

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the

source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a

stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is

as good as dead: his eyes are closed.'

And, for me, perhaps best of all, is Lao Tzu:


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It cannot be known in these ways

Because it is the all-embracing Oneness.

It is not high and light,

Or low and dark.

Indefinable yet continually present,

It is nothing at all.

It is the formless form,

the imageless image.

It cannot be grasped by the imagination.

It has no beginning and no end.This is the essence of Tao.

Stay in harmony with this ancient presence,

And you will know the fullness of each present moment.

Iain Brown


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Deathbed Ministry, by Jim Stearn

You may one day find yourself sitting with a dying person, offering the

last ministry they will receive. I have twice been in this sad, profoundly

moving and yet privileged situation: the first time I busked it, not

knowing anything about what might be expected of me, and fortunately

got things right; the second time I was more prepared, and I pass on

these notes to help you in turn to know a little of what to expect.

The nursing staff are the experts and will be frankly matter-of-fact with

you. This is how they cope and you being gently practical and affirmative

will obviously help them. They will tell you anything they require.

Everyone should be agreed that uninterrupted dying is in progress. The

patient will probably be sedated and on pain control but not on

nutrients or curative medication.

Victorians knew that it was wrong t

to move on. They said goodbye and left the room. We have lost this

etiquette. Relatives may be talking to (or at) the patient, and clasping

Beyond moistening lips these may not be needed. If this is obviously

happening, you can invite them to pray with you in silence. Prayerful

reflection will help to establish if the time has yet come.

It may be a good idea to suggest that a spouse, sibling or child of the

patient needs a break in the fresh air, whilst you take over for a few

palm down on it. If you get this right the patient can voluntarily maintain

human contact but withdraw the hand at will. You can teach this to the

near relative(s).

A few calm words of reassurance will surely be appropriate where saying

things requiring engagement would not be not. The last thing I said to a

cous struggled a bit, and I am sure ithelped.


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It will become clear that the time has come to invite everyone in the

room to join in, or bear with, prayer and to add their own. They are

likely to agree very readily. This cascade prayer came to me at the first

bedside:

Dear God,

We pray together:

Let xxxx recover even at this late stage and return to health and

happiness;

If this cannot be, let him/her enjoy a period of pain-free remission

with quality of life;

If this cannot be, let him/her be granted a while to lie awake in

comfort with us, freed from pain;If even this cannot be, then please in your own good time take

him/her to yourself, granting Your perfect peace and an end to all

pain and distress,

And grant your solace to yyyy (and zzzz etc) who still love

him/her.

Amen

I clearly felt that both of my friends were grateful for this prayer and

took the opportunity it presented. One even raised himself from

sedation and thanked me with his eyes, and fell back. It is very simple.

You feel the difference as it happens. It is traditional and decent to close

the eyes with a pass of the hand. Where there are rules about not

leaving bodies unattended, you may help the staff if you discreetly

volunteer to sit on for a while as they organise affairs- as you may wishto anyway. This might even take some strain off relatives.

I found relatives grateful and relieved for a peaceful closure when

understanding dawned on them. This was my experience.

Jim Stearn.


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Dates for Your Diary

Conflict Resolution Training Seminar

When: Tuesday 28th

Feb Thursday 1st

Mar 2012

Where: The Nightingale Unitarian Conference Centre, Great Hucklow,

BUXTON, SK17 8RH

Who:

Commissioned by Local Leadership Strategy Group.

More details: Dot Hewerdine, 01257 269 502

Unitarian GA Meetings

When: Tuesday 3rd

Friday 6th

April 2012

Where: Keele University, Staffordshire

More details: Andrew Mason, 0207 2402384

Unitarian Discovery Holiday

When: Monday 9th 13th Friday July 2012


BUXTON, SK17 8RH

Theme: Ways of Seeing all in the eyes of the beholder

More details: Marjorie Walker, 01506 493 612

RE Summer SchoolWhen: Saturday 18

th Saturday 25

thAugust 2012


BUXTON, SK17 8RH

Theme: Sacred Living

More details: www.hucklowsummerschool.org.uk


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UALM Committee

President: Mr. Malcolm Sadler

Secretary: Mrs. Sue Woolley, UALM, 5 Martins Road, Piddington,

Northampton, NN7 2DN

[email protected] 01604 870746

Please contact Sue for all general enquiries.

Treasurer: Mr. David Arthur, UALM, 27, Barnes Avenue,

Wakefield, WF1 2BJ

Please contact David for all membership submissions.You may download an application form from

ualm.org.uk/join.html, and send it, with a cheque for

UALM

WSC Adm- Mrs. Winnie Gordon: [email protected]

inistrator Please contact Winnie for all course enquiries.

News Ed: Anna Jarvis: [email protected]

Please contact Anna for all newsletter submissions.

Member Mrs. Chrissie Wilkie

Member Ms. Mina Coalter

Documents

UALM News 1112 Doc Version