What are the components of an abusive relationship?

Do this now.

Pick up your materials on the front desk.

Homework: Complete the Circle of violence wheel.

• What are we doing today?

1. Look at a few stats on dating violence.

2. Explore the wheel of dating violence

3. Read a play and decipher what violent behaviors are being used.

Dating Violence

1 out of every 4 women will experience abuse in a dating relationship

1 in 3 teenagers report knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched, kicked, slapped, choked or physically hurt

by his or her partner.

1 in 4 teens who have been in a serious relationship say their boyfriend or girlfriend has tried to prevent them from spending

time with friends or family; the same number have been pressured to only spend time with their partner.

90% of dating violence is reported by females, but males are victims too.

How big is the problem???

1. Foshee, 19962. CDC, 2007

Approximately 10% of students nationwide report being hurt (physical violence only) by a boyfriend or girlfriend in the past 12 months.2

Approximately 10% of students nationwide report being hurt (physical violence only) by a boyfriend or girlfriend in the past 12 months.2

1 in 4 adolescents reports verbal, physical, emotional, or sexual violence each year1

1 in 4 adolescents reports verbal, physical, emotional, or sexual violence each year1

Types of dating violence• Physical-Causing bodily harm

• Emotional – using words or actions to demean or manipulate (some say this is more hurtful and longer lasting)

• Sexual- any unwanted sex act

• CYCLE OF VIOLENCECYCLE OF VIOLENCE

What are your Dating rules?• Don’t be overly jealous Open communication• Don’t cheat Share feelings• Be willing to compromise laugh together• Don’t get mad over simple things trust me• Respect me and my family• Listen Don’t try to recreate me• Don’t lie Don’t be clingy• Support me Don’t hit or humiliate me• No sex till married• Give me room for other friends• Talk things out, don’t assume• Do things sexual that are mutual

What can you do?

• Arrange dates with other couples• Let others know where you are• Bring $ and a cell phone• Get an order of protection

• If you suspect a friend is abusive, remind that friend it is wrong

• Help educate others if they are blinded by love

Why do people Abuse others?

What are the signs of an abuser?

• Is extremely jealous, hypersensitive and controlling; • Verbally abusive and threatens violence; • Has unpredictable mood swings, with instances of

explosive anger;• may use drugs and alcohol; • Isolates their partner from friends and family; • Uses force during an argument, physical and emotional; • Believes in rigid sex roles, women are a possession; • Blames others for his problems or feelings; • Has a history of abusive relationships

More signs of abuse

• Makes rules (what you can wear, who you can see, how you spend your free time, where you work)

• Controls partner through manipulations (threats, blackmail, sharing secrets)

• Name calling and put downs

• Lying

• Swearing & vulgar remarks