Writing for ImpactWriting for Impact

Overview

• Information on Writing Military Style

• How to Write an Effective Bullet

• Examples and Quiz

Writing Military Style

• Why is it so important?

– Recognition: Quarterly and annual awards, career-specific awards—helps to build careers

– Promotion: Enlisted Performance Reports (EPRs) and Officer Performance Reports (OPRs) are critical to the promotion system— they can MAKE or BREAK a career!

Writing Military Style, cont.

• Who needs to know how to write using military style?

– You do here as students

– Supervisors

– Others involved in the writing and reviewing process

Writing Military Style, cont.

• When can I use this information?

– For yourself: Promotion Recommendation Forms (PRFs), OPRs and 1206s

– For your airmen: EPRs and 1206s, other enlisted promotion packages

Basic Formatting Techniques

Definition (T&Q):

A clear, concise ‘bottom line’ of an idea or

a single accomplishment and its impact.

Basic Formatting Techniques

Definition (T&Q):

A clear, concise ‘bottom line’ of an idea or

a single accomplishment and its impact.

•NOTE: Bullet format breaks the rules of standard grammar—focuses on concise specifics rather than general information

Basic Formatting Techniques

Punctuation and Grammar• Telegraphic bullets do not have periods

• Use the double dash (--), ellipsis (…) and semicolon (;) to indicate a pause or break in thought

• Use exclamation marks sparingly

• Generally, avoid using articles (a, an, the), conjunctions (and, but, or) and pronouns (he, she, him, her)

• Avoid using negative words (isn’t, can’t)

Basic Formatting Techniques, cont.• Size of Bullets:

– One to three lines long; primary shouldn’t have more than one or two secondary (sub-) bullets

• Sub-bullets indicate result, impact or scope

• Length:

– Leave as little “white space” as possible….avoid carrying over a single word to the next line—don’t waste!

• Maximize all the “white space” in the block….

Writing Tips

• ObjectiveObjective: Describe an accurate word picture of an individual in the reader’s mind; approach this as a “top priority”

• OutcomeOutcome: This can have a direct impact on individual’s careers—you’ll have the awesome opportunity to help others obtain their goals and dreams!

Writing Tips, cont.

• Use “hard-hitting” facts, actions and phrases; start with a strong, fact-filled statement

• Each bullet should contain substance; limit fluff

• Be enthusiastic, and make your writing come alive! Use active voice….

• Use common terms everyday people can understand, instead of using job specific jargon

• Validate with comments from outside agencies (HQ USAF, MAJCOM, Wing, etc.)

Three Parts to an Effective Bullet

• Action

• Result (aka accomplishment)

• Impact

Three Parts to an Effective Bullet

• ACTION: What did the person do?

– Be specific, yet brief– Focus on what the person did and their

leadership and management abilities

• Example: Managed 49 LG block training

Examples

• Other words to begin the action:

Implemented

Spearheaded

PerformedMasterfully orchestrated

Three Parts to an Effective Bullet

• RESULT: What occurred because of the action?

– Again, specific but brief– Quantify as much as possible: use percentages,

numbers, time/money values (saved), number supervised and resource oversight

• Example: provided superb training to 350 people

Three Parts to an Effective Bullet

• IMPACT: What is the overall significance?

– Qualify and quantify here too…helps the reader know why each action and result was so important

– How did this impact the overall mission and/or bigger picture?

• Example: reduced overdues to zero

Three Parts to an Effective Bullet

• Completed bullet:

Managed 49 LG block training; provided superb training to 350 people…reduced overdues to zero

Other “Tips of the Trade”• The Last Bullets in Rating Sections

– Stratification: use to rank top personnel; show how individual stands out from peers (top x%, my #1, my best)…. hard-hitting, enthusiastic, with strong

“written recommendation” for promotion

“#3 of 89 SMSgts at USAFA”

“None better! My #1 choice for training manager”

“Best in the training business! USAF Education and Training Manager of the Year (HQs Level) for 2001!”

Other “Tips of the Trade”, cont.

• The Last Bullets in Rating Sections

– Promotion recommendations for EPRs

• “Promotion to chief this board a must!”

• No recommendation may be taken as “don’t promote” by readers, and viewed negatively by board members

– PME or “next” job recommendation for officers

– NOTE: Keep the last bullet to one line

I n t e g r i t y - S e r v i c e - E x c e l l e n c e

Headquarters U.S. Air Force

I n t e g r i t y - S e r v i c e - E x c e l l e n c e

CY02 Central Chief Master SergeantEvaluation Board

15 Oct 0215 Oct 02 02

Headquarters U.S. Air Force

I n t e g r i t y - S e r v i c e - E x c e l l e n c eI n t e g r i t y - S e r v i c e - E x c e l l e n c e

15 Oct 02

Observations

•STRATIFICATION IS A BIG, BIG DEAL!!!!!!• #1 of XX SMSgts

• #1 of XX SNCOs

• Top % of XX SMSgts

• Top % of XX SNCOs

• If a rater writes “top 1% of xxx SNCOs/SMSgts…make sure the XX is over 100

• Need Senior Rater Endorsement• Consistent w/TIG

• 0-10 senior rater/0-6 senior rater…carry the same weight

•Words/stratification is the key…not the grade of the senior rater

• CHIEFS HAVE LOTS OF INFLUENCE•When Chiefs write, “make this individual a chief”, the other chiefs listen!

Other “Tips of the Trade”, cont.

• For EPRs you can use additional duties and volunteer/community support activities, but use sparingly

• For 1206s, typical headings include:

– Leadership and Job Performance in Primary Duty

– Self Improvement

– Base/Community Involvement

A Word of Advice….

• Be careful using certain words that may weaken phrases that otherwise would be strong. These can make a sterling performer into an instant weak one….

one-of-the

rarely

seldom

almostusually

ExamplesExamples

Good Example

- Expertly administered the training requirements for 143 individuals and tracked 129 special operations courses; achieved a 100 percent course utilization rate--enhanced overall mobility readiness

Has an action, result and impact

Poor Example

- Truly an outstanding SNCO, leader, supervisor and manager who possesses resourcefulness, initiative and charter to accept and succeed at the most demanding of tasks--exudes the Air Force in all he does

Action has no “hard-hitting” facts or result and impact; reads more like a narrative description

QuizQuiz

Quiz

- Created a Strategic Plan for Enlisted Training; identified goals, purpose, objectives and metrics--benchmarked as model for use AF-wide

Good

Has action, result and impact

Quiz- Outstanding manager of resources--

aggressively validated and tracked more than $300M in obligations!

Good and Poor

Has the action, but still needs the result and impact

Quiz

- Developed, tested and maintained certification and accreditation of all 20th Bomb Squadron computers

Poor

No result or impact; no quantification; reads more like a duty description

Summary

• Information on Writing Military Style

• How to Write an Effective Bullet

• Examples and Quiz

“Of all those arts in which the wise excel, Nature’s chief

masterpiece is writing well.”

~ Duke of Buckinghamshire Sheffield