Writing Tips

Introductions, Conclusions, and more

How to Write an Effective Introduction

• Begin with a “hook” to grab the attention of the reader

• Include name of work and author• Brief summary (maybe 3 sentences)

of story as pertains to your thesis statement

• Your thesis!

Introductions Spark the interest of the reader Move the reader ‘gracefully’ toward the thesis

statement Present the purpose of your paper: the thesis

statement

Different approaches to writing the intro Each of the following sample intros is based

on the following idea: "Identity theft is a serious problem that claims

millions of innocent victims, and the government must implement better regulations to help put an end to this crime."

Notice how the various introductions set different tones, establish slightly different expectations for what will follow in the body of the essay.

Use background or historical info   Identity theft is not a new crime. Throughout history,

unscrupulous individuals have pretended to be people they are not, often with the goal of political, social, or financial gain. With the right appearance and demeanor, people have falsely presented themselves as kings and bishops. Today, in our information age, identity theft is a far more prevalent problem. With access to names, Social Security numbers, and other personal information, thieves are able to steal identities, leaving the victims struggling to clear their good names. Identity theft is a serious problem that claims millions of innocent victims, and the government must implement better regulations to help put an end to this crime.

Begin with a quote… In Shakespeare's Othello, Iago claims that he

"who steals my purse steals trash / . . . But he that filches from me my good name / Robs me of that which not enriches him, / And makes me poor indeed" (3.3.157-161). Today, identity theft is a new way that thieves steal both the "purses" and the good names of innocent victims, and these thieves are enriching themselves at the expense of their victims. Identity theft is a serious problem that claims millions of innocent victims, and the government must implement better regulations to help put an end to this crime.

A surprising or interesting fact Identity fraud is the fastest growing crime in

the United States. In 2004, over nine million Americans, or approximately one person in 24, became victims of identity fraud or identity theft, at a cost to the economy of 52.6 billion dollars ("2005 Identity Fraud Survey Report"). Because many cases of identity fraud and identity theft may go unreported, the numbers could be even higher. Identity theft is a serious problem that claims millions of innocent victims, and the government must implement better regulations to help put an end to this crime.

A definition or important term… Our identity is what makes us unique. It is

"the distinguishing character or personality of an individual," and when one is a victim of identity theft, it is this "distinguishing character" that is stolen: one's name, address, Social Security number, employment history, credit history, and more. It therefore is no wonder that victims of identity theft often feel a deep sense of violation as they struggle to reclaims their good names. Identity theft is a serious problem that claims millions of innocent victims, and the government must implement better regulations to help put an end to this crime.

Begin with a short narrative… Joe Stevens was finally ready to purchase a home. He

spent years putting money into a savings account, paid off his credit cards, and diligently paid every bill on time. Confident of his good credit rating, Joe visited the bank to inquire about a mortgage, but he discovered startling information: Joe defaulted on a home loan, had $40,000 in credit card debt, and had a car repossessed for lack of payment. Joe Stevens, like many Americans, is a victim of identity theft. Instead of preparing to move into a new home, Joe began the long journey to restore his good name and to reclaim his identity. Identity theft is a serious problem that claims millions of innocent victims, and the government must implement better regulations to help put an end to this crime.

Begin with a quote… How would you feel if you knew, at this

moment, that some criminal is writing your name, address, and Social Security number on credit card applications and plans to charge thousands of dollars worth of merchandise on those credit cards? More importantly, how do you know that this is not happening? Millions of people have become victims of identity theft, and they often find out only after thousands of dollars have been stolen using their names. Identity theft is a serious problem that claims millions of innocent victims, and the government must implement better regulations to help put an end to this crime.

But, don’t do this…

1. Avoid vague, broad generalizations…

Crimes are committed every day by different people, and there are many different kinds of crime. Some crimes are more serious than others. One serious crime today is identity theft. (Can you hear the readers already starting to snooze? The first two sentences to this introduction are far too vague and general to get anyone interested in what the writer is going to say in the paper.)

Don’t start with dictionary definitions…

According to Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary, the word "steal" is defined as "to take the property of another wrongfully." Identity theft is one form of stealing. (The writer of these sentences seems to assume that the readers are “ignorant,” which is not a good impression to give readers. Who would not already know this definition of "steal"?)

Don’t tell the reader your plan…

In this essay, identity theft will be explained. I will discuss why it is such a big problem and what the government should do about it. (Such an introduction might be appropriate for a writer in junior high school, but mature writers use much more effective rhetorical strategies to begin their essays.)

Another tip….

Avoid LONG introductions Do not go into depth – developing ideas in the

introduction…that’s for body paragraphs, not the intro

Include background info that is pertinent to your thesis – but do not merely lapse into summary of the novel

The job of the intro is to grab the attention of the reader and adequately describe the purpose of your paper.

Now you need a good thesis!!!!

Thesis statement The thesis statement is typically the last

sentence in your introduction: answers the questions “what” and “why”

“what” is your claim

“why” is it important – the “so what”

Examples of thesis statements The fate of the main characters in “Antigone”

illustrate the danger of excessive pride.

The imagery in Thomas’s poem “Fern Hill” reveals the ambiguity of humans’ relationship with nature.

Hamlet experiences internal conflict because he is in love with this mother.

Cont’d Words that are effective in conveying the

“why” portion of your thesis statement include:

illustrate, reveal, explain, suggest, demonstrate, show, because…..

Compare & contrast thesis statements Compare & contrast essay on Huckleberry

Finn

1st try: Mark Twain’s Huckleberry Finn is a great American novel.*

It’s just a general statement. There’s no compare/contrast.

The Writing Center, UNC @ Chapel Hill

Cont’d 2nd attempt:

In Huckleberry Finn, Mark Twain develops a contrast between life on the river and life on the shore.*

What do you think?

There’s no “so what.” There is no significance in the comparison as written.

The Writing Center, UNC @ Chapel Hill

Cont’d 3rd attempt:

Through its contrasting river and shore scenes, Twain’s Huckleberry Finn suggests that to find the true expression of American democratic ideals, one must leave “civilized” society and go back to nature.*

The Writing Center, UNC @ Chapel Hill

Still more… In a compare & contrast essay, you need to

decide how the two things you’ve chosen actually relate to one another.

Effective words to use include: extend, corroborate, complicate, contradict, whereas (all the aforementioned), etc.

The conclusion…

Should: Stress the importance of the thesis Effectively wrap up your argument Leave a final impression on the reader

Effective conclusions… Answer the question “So what?”

Now that you’ve written the paper, show why this topic is important.

Synthesize, don’t summarize Don’t just ‘list’ what you’ve discussed. Instead,

show how they all connect Give your readers something to think about

When you wrap up, end with something insightful (but not new)

Another approach… Make your conclusion a reversal of your

introduction.

Begin by rephrasing your thesis statement.

Cont’d THESIS: Morrison mirrors the fragmentation of her characters’ lives through

the novel’s non-linear structure, specifically through her use of flashback, stream of consciousness, and shifts in point of view.

REPHRASED: Because of Morrison’s innovative use of basic literary elements like

flashback, stream of consciousness, and point of view, she is able to produce a powerful effect that reflects the sometimes chaotic and often broken lives of her characters.*

(it’s a mouthful!) * slideshare.net

Introduction - Sample For centuries philosophers have debated the

question of whether man is innately evil. William Golding poses this question in his realistic novel Lord of the Flies. Set on a tropical island during World War II, the novel begins when schoolboys from Great Britain are being flown to safety and their plane is shot down. No adults survive, and the boys are left to govern themselves and get rescued. William Golding uses symbolism in the form of the conch to represent the concept of society. The boys' evolving relationship with the conch illustrates Golding's theme that humans, when removed from the pressures of civilized authority, will become evil.

Conclusion - Sample Golding uses the conch shell to show the slow

slide of the boys into savagery, thereby exemplifying the theme that humans have the capability to turn evil. At first, the conch brings everyone together; then, as its power erodes, the group breaks into two. Finally, the destruction of the conch signals the plunge into total savagery. By following the role of the conch in the story, we see how Golding uses it to unify the central events of the story around his theme of inevitable evil. Golding is an artist, not a philosopher, but through his art he answers the question debated for centuries by philosophers: Is man innately evil? According to Lord of the Flies, he is.

Cont’d INTRODUCTION:

Experimental writers often subvert the traditional form of the novel by refusing to use a chronological plot line in favor of one less linear. Toni Morrison’s Beloved is not narrated chronologically from Sethe’s birth to Beloved’s disappearance. Instead, it is told in a series of seemingly unrelated pieces. Morrison mirrors the fragmentation of her characters’ lives through the novel’s non-linear structure, specifically through her use of flashback, stream of consciousness, and shifts in point of view.

CONCLUSION: Because of Morrison’s innovative use of basic literary elements like flashback,

stream of consciousness, and point of view, she is able to produce a powerful effect that reflects the sometimes chaotic and often broken lives of her characters. By constructing the novel in what at first appears to be unrelated pieces unanchored in chronology or point of view, Morrison actually achieves a kind of unity that supports the development of the story and her characters. In doing so, Morrison creates a new kind of American novel, one not tied to a form rooted in tradition. Similarly, her characters forge ahead to create new lives, confidently rejecting the history of oppression from which it had once seemed impossible to escape.

The conclusion Things to keep in mind:

Don’t introduce new ideas. Stick to the thesis statement

Synthesize, don’t summarize relevant supporting details

Provide insight; apply to real world; create new meaning in your wrap-up

Ultimately, it should answer the question, “why should we care?”

Sources http://writingcenter.unc.edu/handouts/introduc

tions/

http://www.taftcollege.edu/instruct/LiberalArts/OWL/iandc.htm

http://www2.ivcc.edu/rambo/eng1001/introductions.htm