You and Your Gifted Child

By: Breanne MarshPurchased by Natalie Tucker from www.teacherspayteachers.com

ParentsParents play a vital role in the overall development of gifted children and in the development of their particular gifts.

One of the main tasks of parents is to provide an emotionally secure base from which the child can venture forth into the world.

Information on gifted

developmental milestones and

challenges

General Motor Examples

Ability Normal Age Gifted Age (30%

Advanced)

Sits up alone 7 months 4.9 months

Stands alone well 11 7.7

Crawls upstairs 15 10.5

Walks upstairs 18 12.6

Turns pages of a book 18 21

Walks on tiptoes 30 33.6

Skips with one foot only 48 33.6

Throws ball 48 33.6

Skips with alternating feet 60 42

Fine Motor Examples

Ability Normal Age Gifted Age (30%

Advanced)

Plays with rattle 3 months 2.1 months

Pulls strings adaptively 7 4.9

Holds object (Finger + Thumb)

9 6.3

Holds crayon adaptively 11 7.7

Scribbles Spontaneously 13 9.1

Folds paper 21 14.7

Draws a person with 2 parts 48 33.6

Copies a triangle 60 42

Draws a person with neck, hands and clothes

72 50.4

Cognitive-Language ExamplesAbility Normal

Gifted Age (30% Advanced)

Social smile at people 1.5 months 1.05

Searches with eyes for sound 2.2 1.54

Vocalizes 2 different sounds 2.3 1.61

Says "Dada" (or equivalent) 7.9 5.53

Responds to name and "no" 9 6.3

Looks at pictures in a book 10 7

Has vocabulary of 4-6 words 15 10.5

Follows directions to put object on chair etc.

17.8 12.46

3-word sentences 24 16.8

Gives full name 30 21

Counts objects to 3 36 25.2

Some of the earliest signs of giftedness include: • Some of the earliest signs of giftedness include: • unusual alertness in infancy • less need for sleep in infancy • long attention span • high activity level • smiling or recognizing caretakers early • intense reactions to noise, pain, frustration • advanced progression through the developmental milestones • extraordinary memory • enjoyment and speed of learning • early and extensive language development • fascination with books • curiosity • excellent sense of humor • abstract reasoning and problem-solving skills • vivid imagination (e.g., imaginary companions) • sensitivity and compassion

How can I help my child?

social and emotional needs vs. academic needs

• Your child must be challenged in school. This will affect his or her emotional well-being.

• When behavioral problems occur, it most likely manifested through frustration with not being challenged in school.

• For many students, this connection goes unnoticed until it is far too late to help them.

Communicate with the school

• Keep the lines of communication open, and keep working with the school to make sure the child's educational program continues to be appropriate.

• Because highly gifted children may begin school already knowing much of the material covered in early grades and because they learn quickly, some type of acceleration is necessary.

• Parents, teachers, and children should work together to find the best placement.

Become more aware of the characteristics, needs and issues of gifted children• They need help in "being different." The lack of empathy and

rejection by others, including adults and peers, is commonplace for many of these children. According to Thom Buescher, "Lack of empathy and intimacy lead to poor coping skills, and those provide the momentum for intolerance... the precursor to violent acts." Too many gifted children and adolescents suffer in silence, or seek negative ways to express their frustration and anger. Teasing and humiliation must be stopped. Empathy and intimacy are needed so that emotional sensitivity doesn't become emotional disturbance.

• (http://www.sengifted.org/articles_social/Schuler_GiftedKidsAtRiskWhosListening.shtml)

develop an awareness of your gifted child's characteristics• Let them know that they are more than their achievement or academic ability.

• If you sense sadness, rejection, or anger, speak with your child.

• Find a counselor who has training and experience in working with gifted children and adolescents to help you.

Teach gifted children ways to manage stress• As they move through the grades, many will experience growing amounts of stress.

• Most of the stress is self-imposed or a consequence of only their gift being recognized by those around them without concern for their needs as individuals.

• Because many gifted students develop coping strategies, educating them about how to effectively manage stress may prove relatively easy.

Helping your child deal with stress

• You can help your child cope with stress by first identifying for your child that they may be under stress. The younger your child is, the harder it's going to be for them to even know what is going on for them. So helping them identifying it is the first step, and then helping them feel that there's a way to address the stress and a way to get their arms around it will give them the ability to feel control over it. And then they can start to move past the stress.

Helping your child deal with stress• Help your child develop a realistic and accurate self-concept. Parents need to set realistic expectations for efforts and achievements and help the student choose appropriate goals. It is important to recognize and appreciate efforts and improvement.

• Help each gifted student be a whole person. Gifted youngsters are children first and gifted second. While their learning styles may be special, they are individuals with emotions, likes and dislikes, and unique personalities.

Helping your child deal with stress

• Show patience. Let students select and strive toward their own goals. Do not compare them or their achievements to others.

• Show acceptance and encouragement. Encourage students to work purposefully, thoughtfully, and thoroughly and do the best they can. It is not necessary to excel in every situation.

• Understanding and following rules does not mean conforming to every situation. There are some occasions when gifted students should not be expected to accommodate others.

• Let students live their own lives. Caring adults support, encourage, and celebrate students' efforts and successes, but they stand back a bit from these efforts and achievements.

The following checklist includes many, but not all, symptoms of burnout:

___ Student is no longer happy or pleasantly excited about school activities, but, rather, is negative or cynical toward work, teachers, classmates, parents, and the whole school- and achievement-centered experience.___ Student approaches most school assignments with resignation or resentment.___ Student exhibits boredom.___ Student suffers from sleeplessness, problems in falling asleep, or periodic waking.___ Student overreacts to normal concerns or events.___ Student experiences fatigue, extreme tiredness, low energy level.___ Student exhibits unhappiness with self and accomplishments.___ Student has nervous habits such as eye blinking, head shaking, or stuttering.___ Student has physical ailments such as weekly or daily stomachaches or headaches.___ Student is frequently ill.___ Student exhibits dependency through increased clinging or needing and demanding constant support and reassurance.___ Student engages in attention-getting behaviors such as aggressive or acting-out behaviors.___ Student has a sense of being trapped or a feeling or being out of control.___ Student is unable to make decisions.___ Student has lost perspective and sense of humor.___ Student experiences increased feelings of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion in work and activities that used to give pleasure.

Problems with friendship

• A sense of isolation is very commonly felt in families of highly gifted children.

• Given their discrepancies in development, highly gifted children may need one set of peers, possibly older, for academic and intellectual pursuits, and another set of peers, closer in chronological age, with whom to play with.

• This often means helping the child to develop several sets of peers.

What to Do When You're Feeling FRUSTRATION, ANGER, OR GUILT

• Nurture yourself first, so you will have the patience and energy to provide for your child.

• Prepare ahead of time. Recharge your inner self before taking on tasks and battles. Enlighten yourself with possibilities. Education = Knowledge.

• Actively involve those who work with your child. Educate them. • Take a brief 'sabbatical' when you're feeling tired or upset. • Make an ongoing commitment to gifted education and to developing educational

options for children. The larger problem isn't fixed just with our own children. • Involve children in decision-making processes. Acknowledge their goals. • Become involved with support groups. • Remember that these are children, not just intellects. Consider age-appropriate

activities. • Validate new rules and standards. • Be patient with yourself. • Relish your accomplishments! • DON'T GIVE UP!

(http://www.davidsongifted.org/db/Articles_id_10071.aspx)

Seek help and support• It is essential for parents to find other families of highly gifted children with whom to share their experiences.

• It is worth seeking out other families and developing this sense of community.

• Families who share this kind of community with each other, and who take the time to understand the unique needs of their children, find courage, support, and understanding for the profound changes in their own lives that parenting a highly gifted child brings.

Website resources

• http://www.aboutourkids.org/articles/gifted_children_are_their_gifts_being_identified_encouraged_or_ignored

• www.hoagiesgifted.org/parents.htm• www.nagc.org/• www.ri.net/gifted_talented/parents.html• http://www.prufrock.com/client/client_pages/parent_introduction.cfm

Books

• Guiding the Gifted Child: A Practical Source for Parents and Teachers by Stephanie S. Tolan

• Gifted Parent Groups: The Seng Model by Arlene DeVries• Genius Denied: How to Stop Wasting Our Brightest Young

Minds by Jan Davidson• Keys to Parenting the Gifted Child by Sylvia Rimm• Exceptionally Gifted Children by Miraca Gross• Losing Our Minds – Gifted Children Left Behind by Deborah

Ruf • A Love For Learning – Motivation and the Gifted Child by

Carol Strip Whitney and Gretchen Hirsch• A Parent's Guide to Gifted Children by James Webb, Janet Gore,

Edward Amend, and Arlene DeVries• Raising a Gifted Child – A Parenting Success Handbook by

Carol Fertig

OTHER SUPPORT GROUPSGifted Homeschoolers Forum (GHF)

A non-profit, all-volunteer organization that works to educate and advocate for gifted homeschooling families.  Work includes a well-regarded website with resources and articles from parents and experts, an online community for support and advice, sponsorship of events with nationally known speakers, and a schedule of conferences, lectures and other opportunities... 

GT-World A world full of resources for parents of gifted children. Mailing lists: GT-Families for families of gifted children, GT-Special for families of twice exceptional children, GT-Adult for gifted adults, and GT-Talk for ... heated discussions moved from other GT-World mailing lists 

Our Gifted Online ConferencesA place to join together to meet, share, learn, and discuss issues pertaining to giftedness and talent of all individuals regardless of race, age, gender, economic status, and/or twice/thrice exceptionalities.  Visit Gifted Conferences for conference schedule...

  The TAG Project

A support community for Families of the Gifted and Talented, including mailing lists TAGFAM for Families, TAGMAX for home education, and TAGPDQ for "more-than-just-gifted" families