Your Little Legal Companion

8/2/2019 Your Little Legal Companion

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Your LittleLegal Companion


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Fi Edii may 2006

B Dei susan putnEy

pedi joE saDusky

Ii mIchaEl powEll ([email protected])pii DElta prIntIng solutIons, Inc.

y ie e i : e dvie ie bi eve / e edi n.

. .

IsBn 1413305423

1. luied seoie, bi, e. 2. luied sep . 3.

lie iuied seoie, bi, e. 4. lie iuied sep. I. n (Fi)

kF387.l58 2006

646.7d22

2006043785

ci 2006 b n. a i eeved. pied i e usa.

n i bii be eded, ed i eiev e,

ied i b e, eei, ei, i,

edi, eie i e i ie eii e bie d

e . redi ibii d e ied i i

d e eded e e.

Qi e: F ii b e e ei e, ee

e sei se dee. F dei e exb di,

adei se, 8009554775. n, 950 pe s., Beee, ca 94710.

we beieve e, iEi e ii d e ve

e be. B i ex i bie eized dvie

edebe e. I e e ied eid e

i ii i i e i d ide e

ieed ie i e.

n d ie gide D e Bid (.ided.) ei

ie i di e ide d e ve.


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About the Authors

Every Nolo project is collaborativebut this one was truly

a group efort. All o Nolos legal editors wrote parts o

the book, and we had some un doing it. But greatest

credit is due to Tamara Traeder, who came up with many

o the ideas or this book, put everything together, gave it

just the right tone, and did it cheerully and well.

Dedication

For all the determined do-it-yourselers who made

Nolos 35th anniversary possible.

Thank you!


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Thirty-ve years ago, a couple o Legal Aid attorneyshad a crazy idea (actually, they had several). Insteado just turning away olks who werent poor enough to

qualiy or ree Legal Aid help or wealthy enough to

aford lawyers, theyd write down what those olks needed

to know, and publish it as a book. Being young, energetic

types, they did itonly to nd that no publisher would

touch it, or ear o making lawyers mad. No one wants to

make lawyers mad.

The early titles, like the Nolo books o today, were much

more than just do-it-yoursel manuals; they were valuable

companions or people going through challenging,

stressul times. Still, a vocal minority within the legal

proession was dead set against this kind o publishing,

something they erroneously saw as a threat to consumers

or, even worse, their own livelihoods.

Thirty-ve years later, much has changed. Today there arelots o books on legal topics like estate planning, divorce,

and bankruptcy. But Nolo is still the only publisher in

the country with a ull-time staf o attorney-editors

who do nothing all day but write, edit, and update legal

inormation or people without law degrees.


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The legal proession has changed, too, by becoming

more open and riendly in a variety o ways. Lawyers see

that Nolo books complement their servicesand havent

wiped out the legal proession. Nolo itsel has grown and

changed. We still publish the highest-quality resources or

people who are in the midst o a divorce or need to deal

with their landlord (or tenant), but we also publish books

and sotware that can help you le a patent, run your

business, or get whats coming to you rom the IRS.

Im not a lawyer, but Im surrounded by them every

day. Its our dedicated Nolo lawyers (and all o the other

dedicated olks at Nolo who make the books and get

them to you) that make it possible or us to publish these

uniquely helpul books, books that provide a level o

inormation and reliability that no other consumer legal

publisher can match.

NoloYour Legal Companion For over thirty-ve years.

David Rothenberg

President


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Table o Contents

1 gi cee ................................................................... 1

2 y Fi jb .......................................................................... 5

3 Bi c ............................................................................ 9

4 rei ae.......................................................13

5 ci re ...................................................... 17

6 Bii t adbe p he .......................... 21

7 Fii y Fi Fede tx re .............................. 25

8 we yve hd c aide ................................... 29

9 Qii y jb ...............................................................33

10 gei Fied ......................................................................... 37

11 si Bie..............................................................41

12 Ivei.................................................................................45


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13 hii Eee ............................................................49

14 we lie De y pi B ............................ 53

15 Bi me ...............................................................57

16 tbe wi e l ......................................................... 61

17 ci y ne ......................................................... 65

18 we y s e he se ................................. 69

19 Bei gd neib ....................................................73

20 we y Ee Be c ....................................... 77

21 we y Idei I se ........................................... 81

22 gei sed .........................................................................85

23 Bei ldd.........................................................89

24 y Fi DIye he

Ivee pe ......................................................... 93

25 Bi d sei eB .............................................97


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26 wii B ....................................................................101

27 svivi B ......................................................105

28 mvi i wi y lve .............................................109

29 hvi Bii Ide ......................................................113

30 si Bd ..................................................................117

31 we y Bee Eed .........................................121

32 gei mied .................................................................125

33 y w r m ........................................129

34 hvi cid ....................................................................133

35 adi cid ...............................................................137

36 we y cid s kidee ........................141

37 w y sd k ab Dive .....................145

38 gi y De ti ..............................................149


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39 gei od ..........................................................................153

40 svivi n Die ..........................................157

41 hdi e Be ge se .......................................161

42 gi B s .......................................................165

43 Fee gd b Di se gd .................................169

44 we y Deide live i ae c ........173

45 t tie ......................................................................177

46 gi s ci c .........................................181

47 pi y reiee ..............................................185

48 reiee p ...............................................................189

49 Bei gde ...............................................193

50 pi y Ee ........................................................197


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i d

TEN

Let Freedom Ring

1

gi cee

ae exeiei e (d e)

evi e d i ? y

beieve e i e, bi d . hee e e i ee

i id e ed.


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1 Your Little Legal Companion

1 Act out. I eve e, eei i e evi ie e. t , di e i ,

eed e e e evee (idi ) ee eieved, d, e .

2 What i Im a geek? y e i ied beei e b i. m e ie,

i be d de i.

3 Its never too late to grow up. y be zed e ve ed i e ie beee

evi ee d tivi.

4 No shame in getting help. I d ee i de i , e e i did

ee i eve . cide ei e i.

5 They cant do thatcan they? ue, e Faede, i e i ed

ee d eize, de i i ra e b.

a ivied vii e bee i e ide i bb .

6 Youll nd your tribe. siee e bee eeie Ei . heve, Ei

e e ievib ee ( ee e

d?). wee d ?


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7 The credit wave. y be bbded i edi d e.D ei e e e . (y

ed be i e , b e dde ee.)

8 You really are a grownup. m ee di de e i e. t d be bei,

i d be be. Eie , e e e bei

.

9 Make connections. a e eii i ee i ie ee eedi i

e e de i.

10 Now or the important stu. y de e

ed, i eve b e , d b eve b

b eve, eve, d i i.

Going to College 1


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Dont waste time in college taking staid courses like

history and math when you have these classes available:

Philosophy and Star Trek at Georgetown University.

The Art o Sin and the Sin o Art at Rhode Island

School o Design (the catalog promises that youll

lust with the saints and burn with the sinners).

Daytime Serials: Family and Social Roles at the

University o Wisconsin.

From Pot to Pills: Exploring the World o

Recreational Drugs, ofered at the University o

Caliornia, Santa Barbara.


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i d

TEN

Welcome to 9-5

2

y Fi jb

wee e d e b e

D ie i ? I eee

e ii, ee e e i d

bee exeiee bei.


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1 Dont lie to get a job. I d e , b d b i be . ad e ie i e

i ii ee.

2 Bring your ID. y e ee vei ee eiibe i e u.s., i e eed

bi , iizei izi eie, ee

d, e bii e de vi

idei d .

3 Dont expect ree health insurance. Ee eeqied vide i. Fee id ive ee

e e ie vibe, d e eqie

eee e bi.

4 No one owes you paid vacation, holidays, or sick time.n eqie ie e ee bee, d e

e d. te d e ee ie ei eiibi

i e exe, e vi i ve

ed ee ix .

5 Get ready to sign on the dotted line. m ie ee eii d zz b i eeee i i eee, i e be

ed ie, e e. (I e e i

e, e e ei i e .)


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6 Stand up or yoursel. m e eeeieee i i ei d d evie be ieed

b evi e e d ei i. I e ex ed, ed e , exed

e zd, e .

7 Make yoursel useul. te e eibiiie , d diee evi. n i

qi e e d , ee ie

d e e e vbe e e be b

ie d.

8 Dont be a know-it-all. oe e bie iee ve b ii ee ee de i e

ve ifed ee eeve.

9 Try to t in. le e de exeed . tee i be e ie e

i ee e .

10Its all about who you know. me ei i

e d evi, d i i e eve i eve i b. te be b iie e e

, e d.

Your First Job 2


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(answers:1isb,2isc,3isd,4isa.)

Match the Celebrity to His or Her First Job

(1) Stephen King (a) Recalibrated car

odometers

(2) Demi Moore (b) Worked as a school

janitor

(3) Christopher Walken (c) Worked or a debtcollection agency

(4) Jay Leno (d) Photographed naked

or a calendar


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i d

TEN

Your Very Own Wheels

3

Bi c

si e ide i e

diee i ed be. a be,

ve e i d ee

e ii.


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10

1 Sur to ride. ue ebie bb. (ke Be B),edd., d dide. (ni a Dee

aii) e e, de, iee, iee, d . Iveie i e, eve

i, d e ie qe bee

e e d.

2 It adds up. D e e x, i evie de, d i eii d ie e

i d.

3 History matters. I ve d e i ed , b veie i e x. e. e

iei, ei, ide, fd, ibe dee

b, d e eed eve i e i.

y eed e veie ideii be (VIn) d .

4 Keep quiet and stay rm. D e e ee ve ed, e dei i, bd

eed e . y , d

. si i . Be ed .

5 Hate negotiation? cide bi ebeib aaa c, ed ee. y

ie be d e eii . a d.


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6 Be sae. I e i ied i e ied eIee, d e ee e i e, d ee i

bi, ei e.

7 Should you buy a warranty? Bi exeded e ed d e, b i d be di i e

e be. ree e

bbb. (Bee Bie Be) bee ii e .

8 Dont sign blindly. D ee eed i i . te e de e d ed e e.

I e be, ve ee ee ed e, .

9 Buying used? ued dee ee di Begide e . a dieee eie i e ee

be efeed e Be gidei deide e

dieee i e ee, eve i eied ei

ee. I e aI bx i eed, e ei e .

10Keep it in the amily? Bee bi ied eive, ide e ee eii i e die

d e ee e e eibii.

Buying a Car 3


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1

Did you hear that?

Want to know what that noise is coming rom underthe hood o your car or the back wheel? NPRs Click

and Clack can help. Their online Car Talk Car Noise

Emporium has 30 diferent car noisesrom vubb,

vubububub, vubb, vubububub to who, whu, wuuu,

wuuu. Simply click on the part o the car where you hearthe noise, nd the sound youre hearing, and read the

ocial diagnosis.

A vote o condence

40% o Americans say that used-car salesmen are

generally more ethical than members o Congress.


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i d

TEN

Home Sweet Home

4

rei ae

rei e i dd ix e

d bie ideie

d bie e dd. Bee i

e d ii ee, d

e dd .


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1

1 New paint is not a constitutional right. ldd dve ei bee ve i (exe i ne y ci, d

ee i eqied eve ee e).

2 Everybodys memory ades, even yours. ge ede i ii, idi e e, dei, d e e e

e de. I e dd eed ie e e, i i

e ee.

3 But Im sure you said . . . . I d eeei ii, b ee , e i bd e de

e e. I i be de vie eeie

de vei i e e e.

4 Think again about those tap dancing lessons. oe

eii i e f. I e iidee eib,

dd e d i .

5 Dont end up paying or damage that was alreadythere. w e e i e dd, ibd, d

dii e i de i ie d de

e dii e e. a e dd i e (i e , e ve ie).

6 Hospitality is goldenbut not to your landlord. a e e ie ized dd

d i d eii e. we e


25/22415

eeivi i e, i ie i e dd

d dd e ie e ee.

7 Taste does not matter. n e e eie bed, eve ei i e dd e.

y d ed i ie e ve e.

8 Hold your re. D id e e e ddee e ei e e e e i d

e di i bide be.

9 Get renters insurance. y dd e ie ve bei i ee i e b,

ded b vefi bb i.

10When you must break a lease. I e e i eibe e eii e de e ee.te dd e ebe e ee d edi

e i e e e e. ti e e

e e eie ei dei e evi e.

Renting an Apartment 4


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1

You really mean that?

Excerpts rom actual letters sent to landlords:The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the

children until it is cleared.

This is to let you know that there is a smell coming

rom the man next door.

The toilet seat is cracked: Where do I stand?

I request your permission to remove my drawers in

the kitchen.

Our lavatory seat is broken in hal and is now in three

pieces.

Our kitchen oor is very damp, we have two children

and would like a third, so will you please send

someone to do something about it.

Could you please send someone to x our bath tap?

My wie got her toe stuck in it and it is very

uncomortable or us.


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i d

TEN

Sharing Spaces

5

ci re

si ee, eie, d b

i ee d ve be

ei. t di i i e.

we idei ibe e, eve

e i e, i b

e i.


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1

1 Opposites may make great riends, but not necessarilygreat roommates. t i bi id

ide be e be ie e i e qie d ieive. Be ee e: D

e i ee? I e i ? a e?

me e iee e ibe.

2 Would you loan this person the monthly rent? I e i e e e, ve ve i

e evii.

3 Your roommates screw-ups can cost you your tenancy.te dd evi e id bdd

ed eeed, eve ee .

4 Be nice to your parents. ldd e de eei ei e i i e ee, ei e dd

ded e e e i e e d . I e e

e i ee, e d, e i

i e ee ee id.

5 Who moved my cheese? i b. I d be bi vebi e e. Fid b e bei i d

d e qi bee ve i, b ei i e

e. give e e i e bize

bi, .


29/22419

6 Have a rank discussion about overnight guests.a iied bee i xe e be

eb e i e. we, d e evied vi ized (ee eeed d

ved b e dd ie ee).

7 Create a system or splitting and paying bills, such aselectricity, phone, and cable. I e ii e ed

bi, e e e e e bee e bi e

de. oeie, eed ie i e .

8 Agree what will happen i someone wants to leave. h ie i e ive e e? wi e dei

e be eibe di ebe eee?

9 Prepare or a breakupwhat i some o you want aroommate to leave? (I e iie e ed i

ei eee, , .) cide eei e

dd/e edii evie, i d ee i

iie.

10When you move out, e dd i e dei de d eeded ei, d e e bi bi e eibe. I i e

eibiid divide e eed dei eve

di.

Choosing a Roommate 5


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0

Famous Roommates

Bert and Ernie (Sesame Street)

Oscar and Felix (The Odd Couple)

Chandler and Joey (Friends)

Al Gore and Tommy Lee Jones

Gene Hackman and Al Pacino

Gwyneth Paltrow and Winona Ryder

Ben Aeck and Matt Damon

Lindsay Lohan and Raven Simone

Danny DeVito and Michael Douglas

Dustin Hofman and Robert Duvall

Marilyn Monroe and Shelley Winters


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i d

TEN

Doesnt Everyone

Need One?

6

Bii t adbe

p he

o ee i e e ei

dd i e di

e e.


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1 Never buy a dog rom a pet store. tee eexeive, ee bb ied de i dii i

i, d be i bee e ee ied e e e.

2 I you already did. I b d e e, d i be i, e e b i e

e d d qi.

3 Is that an HMO or PPO? y b e ie d, b i exeive. te i, i de veei e.

(Did d i e cat ? s iii.)

4 But I like my dog better than my husband. n e de d i, eve e e i

i.

5 There is a solution. I b e e, e d, i ee ed e eve

e d bee. B i e eve e d (d

e ibbe e) ee ee e vi e

d i .

6 No special privileges. I e dd diiiei e e b bi e i bie ei

dei. te exei: ied evie d e

e ivi i dibiiie.


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Ratio o

humans to dogs

regularly in Nolos

editorial oices:

15:3

7 All over the map. se iie e e d fi. oe e exi e eii. ce i

ie bee i. kee i id, eve, fi bei d.

8 Train and socialize your dog pronto.I d bie ee i

vi, e bb i

be ibe e ied e

edi bi d ied

i e bie i ei, e bi. I i

e i, e eqee

be e: d dee

d de vii d e b

exeive ibii ie, eed zze.

9 Dont be a nuisance. I d be be (de e d e e e ede), be

ve i eib, i bei ed

, e, bei ie.

10 Dogs are great. a e e d d id iedi i d e ie eeee e d id e ddeived. ae d idie d

ei e e bd ee. w ee d e e

d edii dee?

Bringing That Adorable Puppy Home 6


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The law is a dull dog.

Charles Dickens


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i d

TEN

Meet the Tax Man

7

Fii y Fi Fede

tx re

Fii x e e ie ee

di. ye i! heve, e ve

ed e b 20 e , i i

be . weve ied e i e

ed.


36/224


1 Procrastinate, with IRS approval. I e x e b ai 15, e exei b i Irs

F 4868. heve, d eed e e d eied xe e b ai 15 vid e.

2 All those wasted trees. ree e e 1040 e Irs. F e d, e ie i tbtx (Ii)

txc (h&r B), i i e.

3 I you cant beat em, pay em. teed ebe? te Irs ii i ie d eie. I e e

xe, i ei e eqee. te e e.

4 Start early. a bei eeivi w2, 1099, d exeed d i j, i e i e de

ve e d e.

5 Do you itemize? cei exee e eiee be deded ie bee i

xe. o, e e e dd dedie

id xe d. y x i d qi

i ee i e i i e xe.

6 Dont orget your education. y be be ededi de iee ( $2,500)

iieed exee ( $4,000). o be eiibe

x edi (e he cedi $1,500 e lieie


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lei cedi $2,500) e deede

di e x e. E edi d dedi diee

eqiee, d e e deedi

ie. see pbii 970 .i.v e e ii

dei.

7 Clean out those closets. Dedi ibeibi de $250 e e qeied,

d ve eei. te dve i x be eve e

b i e bxe gdi svi a.

8 Use retirement accounts now. le ie x d d d eiee. I ee e

401(), xiize ibi, eei i ee

e e. I , e Ira r Ira.

9 Dont panic. I e e xe , eqe ie . c e Irs 8008291040 e

F 9465 eqe e. y iee d e e

dei e, x ibe i

e.

10 Theres your state, too. ue ive i e e ie, eed e x e i e e i i eide

e: a, Fid, nevd, s D, tex, wi,

d wi. (ne hie xe iee d divided.)

Filing Your First Federal Tax Return 7


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How long do I have to keep my tax records?

Although the IRS recommends keeping records or threeto seven years, there is no time limit or the IRS to audit

what it thinks is a raudulent return. See IRS Publication

552. We recommend keeping all o your returns and

essential backup. Annoying, but youll be glad to have

them i an auditor comes knocking.


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i d

TEN

I Didnt See

Them Coming

8

we yve hd

c aide

ye divi , idi

bie, d ! a be, e eei

deie d be bi .

I e i ide, ee e e

i eebe.


40/224


0

1 Need we say this? D dive (e ee d).ce iie, e 911 d d. mve

? wi ie? a e e de eide i ie e died ( eed ie

e e). Exe iee e be d d

ie ii i e ivved dive.

2 Insult to injury. I e e d de veie, e ei ii . I

e ie , be be

e e e dive i i e .

3 Accident report? ce i ie dee veie (DmV) ee i e eqied

e e i e DmV.

4 Take notes. wie d e ie e ided e ee iiee .

5 Whos at ault? te e ee vied . I ee i b e e dive e

ee, i be id eee debed eive be.

6 Whats the magic number? Ie de e b ddi veie de, edi exee,

d e, e i iie i d


41/2241

ei. mi ide e iie 1.5 2; ei

ide e iie 5 e. te ei be i

e ie i i i eii eee.

7 Heads up. y ie i eei ii bee i i i ei ie ie.

a i d e be ed iedie, i e

e ide, e ve e, d evidee i d

ei.

8 Dont be chatty. I e e ie bee bii i, e e e e e i,

e ie e e eee, d e ied; ive

iied e ii; ee ie di e ide

iie ( be i i); ei ee

ee iedie; d e ii e e .

9 None o their business. te eee d ded veed b e ie

id ie ve eed. heve, e

ie vide eqie eibe i

eee.

10 The awul truth. we e i, b eed e. I i evee eed i e

ee dibii, i e ie ee ,

d exeieed e i e.

When Youve Had a Car Accident 8


42/224


I you carry a cell phone, program personal inormation

and an emergency contacts name and phone numbers

into your phone address book under In Case o

Emergency or ICE. Police, reghters, emergency

medical technicians, and emergency room staf are now

trained to look in cell phones or this inormation.


43/224

i d

TEN

Take This Job

and Shove It9

Qii y jb

ye i b . y bee

e. F eve e, e vi


44/224


1 Its only air. give ee e ee iee ve ve d e exe, ve

i eee b i e.

2 Get a written letter o reerence. I e e i evi, i ve eeee ive

eive ee.

3Do a little research. m ee eve ei b i

dedi bee ie eve e ei d.

ce e eied : e ie ii

(ed coBra), e e i 401() e eiee ,

i, d . y eed e e e e

ee bee, e eee db e

ee dii.

4 Tough duty. I e, ei ed vi iee qi. y ed d e vi

bee ivi ie.

5 Getting paid. I d e e

d, e b dee d e ee ive i .

6 Keep your mouth shut (and we mean that in the nicestpossible way). we e ieviei e b e

ve e, d e ie, i, ed b

e b ee. I e b. a be, i


45/2245

ve deed e bie eii; ,

d be ed dei. ad ee d ie ie

ee b e e.

7 The only exception to No. . I e qii bee e, e ee ed ie d ive e

ebe i e e be. I d ive e

e dde i, e e e.

8 Take care o yoursel. I e i i, d qi beei e e e i. ge

ii b bi ie d i

deei de edi d e.

9 Stay in touch. me e e

ii d ive ee di ii e i .

10 Dont go o in a hu. I e evi e

e di, e i d

e. y eve e

ee i.

Quitting Your Job 9


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Movie Night

I youre bored with your job or considering a careerchange, take a gander at Fast, Cheap & Out o Control. The

documentary proles our men with unusual animal-

related jobs: a lion tamer, a topiary gardener, a man who

studies mole rats, and an MIT scientist who has designed

insect-like robots.

Need a reminder that your oce job isnt so bad ater all?

Ofce Spacewill introduce you to a boss even worse than

your own. Then watch 9 to 5 to see an annoying boss get

his comeuppance.


47/224

i d

TEN

Youre Outta Here!

10

gei Fied

see ie evee be te Dd

ee d. tee e e i d

i e ed i e bi e d

d, ye ed!


48/224


1 Remember two weeks notice? m ee ed ivei, b e d ve d ve e d e. y be

ed e d d e i e i e e.

2 They probably dont need good cause to re you. m i, i e be ed ie,

e i ie. Eve , be ed diii

e, i vii ee , exeii

e i. t e i e .

3 Get whats coming to you. y e e eied eve ve eed d e bee id. ti ide

e b ii, be, d, i e e,

ed vi ie.

4 You might be eligible or unemployment.t eee, be

. m e diqi e ee ed ei

id.

5 Keep your powder dry. y i be eed e

e ex ee e , b i d be feei ee. y d e ive

eeee ( i ee).


49/2249

6 Dont sign anything immediately. m ie eevee ( e evee) eee i

ei i e e . I e ed i i ie di i ve e i i ee,

e i .

7 Everything might be negotiable. I e e b e i eed , i i be ii

qie. ai, qi i i e

i e e i ve e evee.

8 Youll have to pay to continue your health insurance.I d e ie vee b,

bb ve e i ie eeivi i 18

e, ede ed coBra. B ve

e e ei.

9 Look to the uture. h i i i e e i ex bd e i b

? a ee eeeed e ie e

d e.

10 The older, wiser you. a ieviee de e be d b. Ied, b eed e

exeiee d i i be diee i e ii.

Getting Fired 10


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0

Dont Feel Bad

I youre in the wrong eld, getting red is one o the bestthings that can happen to you. Plenty o peoplerom

Thomas Edison to Robert Redord to Walt Disneyhave

been red, only to go on to great things. Some jobs are

just a bad t.

Jon Stewart was red rom his job as a stock clerk at

Woolworths by the assistant managerhis brother.

Stewart claims to have been red by six diferent stores in

the same New Jersey mall.

Nathaniel Hawthorne was red rom his position asSurveyor o the Port in the Custom House in Salem,

Massachusetts. He used the time (and nancial support

rom his wie and riends) to write The Scarlet Letter.


51/224

i d

TEN

Setting Up Shop

11

si Bie

wee eei ie b

ei ebd e Iee

i ie de ei fi

, i bie i e e e

aei ie. Bee , ee

e e i ide.


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1 Show yoursel the money. D e i ie e i bie eve , d i i

e ee? D i e, i ed.

2 I its a hobby, its a hobby . . . and thats okay. I di i e , eve, ee ded

e exee, e . (te Irs i e i , .)

3 Use independent contractors when you can. we

ie eee, i i e diee be (ei

ie) i e eibiiie.

4 Business is business and riends are riends.Never dobusiness with friends. I ie , d ie i: Never do

business with friends without writing down your deal.t e

i, .

5 Learn rom others mistakes. I , (vee) ee ee i e bie. ji de

ii. te ee i e biz . Evebd

eebe ei ie, d ei ivi dvie?

6 Use ree help. aei bie is bie, efeed ie id ee bie ee. l bie

devee ee d b.v i e ed. F

ie i i eied bieee,

scorE (e.). teve ee i .


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7 Pay attention to your gut (unless you know you areparanoid). I de de ee i, i bb i. I i

ee d be e, i bb i.

8 There are bullies in business, just like in high school.neve e e be ed i deii.

9 Be a cheapskate. kee bie i e i e eve . hd ii eee i

ide ee i vii id b .

we exee, b e e ide.

10 Give yoursel a back door. cie d beie i bie e eei bie e. heve,

evie xie (d e e ee) i deve

exi e. ci ii i e.

Starting a Business 11


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Humble Beginnings

Forget about renting commercial space or your newventurethe garage will do just ne. Youll be lucky i you

are hal as well as these ellows:

William Hewlett and David Packard started

Hewlett-Packard in a garage in Palo Alto, Caliornia.

Steve Wozniakand Steve Jobs started Apple Computer

in the Jobses amily garage.

Gary Cli, ounder o the Cli Bar, was living in a

garage with his dog when genius struck.

Gary Fisher, a ounder o the sport o mountain

biking and owner o Gary Fisher Bikes, began by

building bikes in a rented garage in Marin County,

Caliornia.

And last but not least Jake Warner, ounder oNolo, wanted to start his business in the garage, but

he didnt have one because he was too broke to aford

a car. He used the attic instead.


55/224

i d

TEN

Growing Your

Hard-Earned Cash

12

Ivei

hve e ex d d

d i? tee e i

ivei e, b i eed

e e d e be e .


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1 Keep management ees low. Fee ed e d e v e ivee ee.

2 But I want the best.tee i i i eeid e i d ed, b ee i id

vee, b qe d e e

ei eev idex, e ee, i e; d e i 10

e ee e i.

3 Some companies are more equal than others.te s&p500 i e evi eed e idexe, i

e 22 ii id e ve ei

vee e idex. ti e e s&p 500

eei ie e e i i aei

.

4 Are you thinking about the tax benets? seivee ve x dve, ie x exei

ii bd d x dee ee eiee

eed bii.

5 They know what theyre talking about.ae e d b? reebe e w see: t i ie d e .


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6 Like the rest o lie, its all about balance.aiivee eve e e e e,

e d bd, e ede viii ivi ee.

7 The American way.ove aei e , dbe e e e e 1980.

8 You can put your money where your principles are.

l d d qie e ive ie eei

e eeie e dee beibeee i

i e e, ei iee, i e

b.

9 Every year, just like doing taxes.y i ie e bee

ee b ebi i ,

i e bii ivee b e i

e vi e e.

10 Invest short term and long term.ce ivee i ii eed. F e ivee,

ide e e d, eie, cD. l , e i bd, d d ee

ivee.

Investing 12


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What about 2106?

A century ago, some o the biggest stocks on the New YorkStock Exchange were U.S. Steel, AT&T, Westinghouse,

Kodak, Procter and Gamble, Pillsbury, Sears, Kellogg,

and Nabisco Crackers.

Say, what?

The stock market crash o October 19, 1987 is considered

one o the most remarkable nancial events o the 20th

century because the markets ell an astounding 23%worldwide, seemingly without explanation.


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i d

TEN

When You Cant

Do It Alone

13

hii Eee

y bie d eed

ddii e. ci! Bee ii

ee, eve, ide ee i.


60/224


50

1 Welcome to the thicket.hii eee iediebe d bie ede, e, d eve

d i (d eie d i vii e). s,exe ee ideede ee eed

(b ee n. 10).

2 Putting Junior to work.I i i bie, d e xe e id id de 18. heve,

exedi i eii e e ee

exebe ei did.

3 Energetic and inexpensive. I e id e de e, b ee e e ii e e d

ee d. l i di i

e ized i e Dee lb Child Labor Bulletin

101 ( d.v d e idb101).

4 Dont discriminate.we ieviei, ii, d ieee, ede diiie bed

ei eii. (t e e i.) y e

i die i ddii eie.

5 What does discriminate mean, exactly?I idebi ee deii eee ied

d eei ( exdi) i ei bee

eed eii exe, ii e

bee e e qi.


61/22451

6 Checking up.Beide i i eeee, bd e. I id de e e,

Fi cedi rei a eqiee, deied e e i iv. see e Fede tde cii

ebie ..v//e/..

7 Employment contract? y bb d e ee ii ieve ii. D ide ee

e, eie: wie ei ive e eee (idi

eee db) d e e e d ee

beee bie d e eee.

8 The record keeping begins.o e d, eee Irs F w4 ( x e) d u.s. ciizei

d Iii sevie F I9 (veii eiibii i

e uied se). y ee F I9 ee e

ee e d ei e ee e e e e

eee eii, ieve e .

9 Know thysel. uded ee e beeieviei i. Bei b

d exe i e eve bd eei di eee eii.

10 I it were only so.y ie eee d i e ideede . ce Irs F ss8 diii

e . ce eee ede d e eie ei

eee ideede e evee.

Hiring an Employee 13


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5

Federal law prohibits discrimination based on:*

color physical or mental disabilityreligion ancestry or national origin

race age sex pregnancy

Other classes protected by certain cities,counties and states:

gender identity (transsexualism) height or weight

HIV/AIDS receipt o public assistance marital status

sexual orientation smoking

* All ederal antidiscrimination laws make exceptions or very

small businesses, but state and local laws may apply no matterhow ew employees you have.


63/224

i d

TEN

Down or the Count

14

we lie De y

pi B

we ed idd ei e

e eve. we ivved i ide ei ie, eve, e ve e

e e e . weve ied e i

eebe e bd d e.


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5

1 Embarrassed is better than dead. D be b i( ei) e, eve i ee id b ii ve e

i bbi e i i bb idiei.

2 Get thee to the nearest ER. I e eee, eie e, ed i e ee i, e

ee ie d die . m

iie ve eee vii i ide e

e. Eve i e ied, ede eqie e

i vide eee eei exii d

biizi ee.

3 Allergic to penicillin or latex? we edi e ee bee i eie. kee i e edii i

e e.

4 Whose coverage? I i eed e b, e ee, . y bb eed be eed de

ee e ei i e

ie.

5 Choose hospital advocates. I e i i e i,ie e ied d i i .hi e vie deedi e qi d exeiee

, d be be i e. D

, be be e e v ed.


65/22455

6 Whos to blame? te e be e zie. I ee eee ed i, eve,

ve i evidee be , ie d e ed i ibe iee, d e e b

eedbee e e dei.

7 Brush up on that assertiveness training. oe ebe, d e e e i e e.

sdie ie i ei e d d

exe ei eed ive e.

8 Fend o horror stories. y i i iie e eei i i ie. I bdde e e

e i eed, ee ie b i e

, Id ve e b eie e e edii

i i e qe.

9 Relieve your boredom. s eei edi e. I ve be be, i

ed . t , d e d ive ied

e ei ii ide.

10 You are not a reak. Evee e ied i ei. I , bb eei ii be

ee i e e dii .

When Lie Deals You a Physical Blow 14


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5

Weird Medical Fact

Soas or couches injured over 135,000 people in 2002badly enough to seek medical attention! Skateboards sent

only 113,000 people to the doctor.


67/224

i d

TEN

Show Me the

Credit Card Debt

15

Bi me

I e i, tV, ie, eveee

ee i ei ee . Bee

e , ee e e i

d b bi e.


68/224


5

1 But Ben Franklin said to pay it o early!se b edi d e i ee e. I e ee

ee eie e eied, i i e e.

2 Keep it in the amily. I e bi ied i,ide i cieledi (.ieedi.), i

de ed e b iie b ei ee e

eee d i e e e.

3 Dont count on bankruptcy.te e b ei e di ie e deb, d e

b e eve ix ei e, deedi e id

b e.

4 But or the grace o . we i dve edi d , ee i e eidi

e iee e d e e , even i

be ii .

5 Watch your ratings. te i i edi

i: i deb ie. oe : e edi, ed, e edi i, d deb ve

eive vibe edi.

6 Its not so secret.te Fi cedi rei a eqie e e e ei ie vide, eqe,

ee edi e, e eve 12 .


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7 The 0% rule. Exe d e bieexee i edi d be e ee 80%

edi ii. I e i ii, ve ed eiedi d be.

8 Predators at your door. te ed ediie i i be i ie iee e e

edi i . a eied 63% be i i

e d qi e e.

9 Your corporate shield wont help. I ve ied bie b e ee bie ,

e e e eed edi. te b de

bie; i e e b

.

10Leave me alone!I ei eeved edi d e (d ve

ee), e Fede tde cii be,

8885678688, d e vee eieve.

Borrowing Money 15


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0

Fun Facts About Borrowing in the U.S.

The U.S. has 300 million people and over a billioncredit cards.

Personal debt (not counting mortgages) is

approximately $20,000 per household, hal o which

is on credit cards. (Thats three times what it was in

1990.)

Over 40% o amilies routinely spend more each year

than they earn.

The average U.S. amily pays about $1,200 in interest

on their cards each year, at an average APR o 18.9%.

In 2004, the total spent on credit card ees topped

$60 billion.

Fity percent o Americans would reuse to tell a

riend how much they owe.


71/224

i d

TEN

May It Never Happen

to You or Yours

16

tbe wi e l

le e ii e i

, b i ee i e, i

e. hee e d e ee,e di e, d e .


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1 Federal crimes have stier sentences than stateoenses. ki b i ede ee d

ie e ie veiee e bbe.

2 What suspects blurt out can and will be used againstthem. te mid e e deed i ee bei

qeied.

3 I the door is open, savvy suspects use it. sei

mid, e ed ee i bee qeii

e ei e i i d. we e e ee eve

b e , ei midized ee be ed

i e.

4 The cops can violate Miranda but still use a suspects

statements i he testies. oe e i b

e: I deed ei d ve de midized

ee di ei ei, e e e

e diedi ei.

5 Thanks, but could I have a real lawyer? m deed

e ei iie bi e ie ive e ied i i e bi deede. pive e

be e be de. Deed e bee i

e e.


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6 Seasoned criminals wont tell their lawyers theyregoing to lie on the stand. te e i id e

e, i i . B evee i e i , d e e de ( eei) i e

id.

7 Cops and prosecutors ollow the money. B dbbe i be eed e ei edi bi

ee did e e ? sdde vi vi d

ve e ebe exi, i ie ded.

8 The Shawshank Redemption is ction. pi ie vee ie De d see e e ie

e eve ie.

9 Appealing a conviction is an exercise in utility. teveei i e deied. Deed ee

ei eee iied i e de de e

e. jde deide e. y e e ie.

10 Only the oolish represent themselves. ye, ed i

n, e i die . tee deed e ee d iie e d

e. ae i ee i ie e

eiize i ii deee, e e i e

ee e e ex e bi bd.

Trouble With the Law 16


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Stupid Criminal Tricks

Deendants arent supposed to identiy the victim inthe lineup. Yes, its true. Some participants in lineups

think theyre supposed to ID the victim. Its the other

way around.


75/224

i d

TEN

Just Call Me Shawna

17

ci y ne

wee e ei ied dived,

e i exe, i ee D

wib eve exeed e e ,

i ie i eive e.


76/224


1 You dont need a good reason, just a legal one. y e e e bei e

d d i i e.

2 Getting hitched? y d eed de e e, ie eie.

3 I youre simply tired o your old name, go to court andget a new one. y ve e e, b

ee i ie. te d i deidi

be edi i be sfe? j j?

4 Filing court papers wont be scary. y bb eveeve ve e bee de.

5 You can choose (almost) any name you want. tee e e eii: D e e de

e. D e e e. s

e e ve eive. cied deed

e e ii , be h pe.

Fi, i be vid e d ii e

d, d e ? 3.

6 You can change your name to a single word. I ve ed be ie md, e. y

e e e, b e e d, eve iii,

e.


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7 You might have to pay a ew hundred dollars or thenew you. ue qi e e

e e eedi, dive, e ee i $500. (tie i ie e d e b.)

8 One-stop shopping. I e i ede, e e e e ex bi eie e e

ie e e.

9 The one easy thing to get in a divorce is your ormername. I e i e de e

de ei e e dive deee.

10 Dont keep it a secret. Beide dvii eie dbiee ve ed e,

ee i d ied e e e

d be e e i ie e vid i,

diiive, d e e.

Changing Your Name 17


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Do you think the name made all the diference?

These amous people started lie with the monikers in

parentheses ater their names:

Alan Alda (Alphonso DAbruzzo)

Woody Allen (Allen Konigsberg)

Lauren Bacall (Betty Joan Perske)

Jon Bon Jovi (John Francis Bongiovi)

Bono (Paul David Hewson)

George Burns (Nathan Birnbaum)

Chubby Checker (Ernest Evans)

Elvis Costello (Declan Patrick McManus)

50 Cent (Curtis Jackson)

Whoopi Goldberg (Caryn Johnson)

Hulk Hogan (Terry Gene Bollea)

Ben Kingsley (Krishna Bhanji)

Ralph Lauren (Ralph Lishitz)

Ludacris (Chris Bridges)

Marilyn Manson (Brian Warner)

Meat Loa (Marvin Lee Aday)

Demi Moore (Demetria Gene Guynes)

Mother Teresa (Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu)


79/224

i d

TEN

Finding the Right Spot

18

we y s e

he se

tii b qii e

d? y ee ie e ei

eede i , i i e

i e i i ee ive.

hee vee e e e e

i ie i bei veeed.


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0

1 Be patient. y e ee di e e b e e i ve ib ee i be

e e e. he, ee ebe ve ide be, b e d ?

2 Guzzle some gas (er, get out your bikes). ye bb e qied i vie edie

eibd i. B edi i eve ee

i e, d e e eve e exied.

3 Look past the staging. see e ei exe i e i eei B&Bbe. t ie e be

e be e e e fe, iqe ie, d d

be i e e.

4 Tell everyone you know that youre house hunting.Fied ied be i e ei e d d

ie ve e e (d ii) b ei die

.

5 Scrape together the biggest down payment you can

manage. te ie d e, e e e d. I i e di e e, i

die , ei e e ee be

bed e, i.


81/2241

6 Ask around or a great real estate agent. heve, dexe e e d e . n e ded

e eei bee , e ied de ie ieei e.

7 Youre allowed to touch. oe id, e e,d e e. y dive be e ide

e e e bee iied.

8 How much is a house worth? weve ee i ii . t deeie ebe ie, vii e e d

e , i, e i ii

eii i e e eibd ve d . y e

be ed e eded bid e e .

9 Review the sellers inspection reports with a jaundicedeye. see be qie ieeed i di

e f i ei eie. hie beive e ie,

d e e e ie ii i

e di.

10 You can change your mind about home ownership.I e , e e e i e bee e i ie eibd ee d

d b. ad bee e, e dd e e

e.

When You Start the House Search 18


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Got ghosts?

I your house is haunted by unriendly spirits, here aresome reportedly efective ways to be rid o them. Just dont

orget to take a picture o your unwanted visitors rst.

Ask the ghosts to leave (maybe this should have been

obvious, but a rm voice apparently helps).

Hang strings o hazelnuts in all doorways.

Sprinkle holy water (available at your local Catholic

church) while making the sign o the cross.

Hang cloves o garlic rom all doors and windows. Ring a bell in every corner o every room.

Paint your ront door red.


83/224

i d

TEN

Welcome to the

Neighborhood19

Bei gd neib

he d be

e d. cei d eii

i eib i e ee i .


84/224


1 Dont be shy.te e e d ide e eib. I i ee be, exe

e be d e bi ii, ie ide d e e ve. I e i eee

e, dive e i, eize e e e

d e.

2 Join in. le b eibd e eibd e ii eei. wee i be ee ,

e ei devee, b, be bee be

e e (d be e e e ied, ).

3 Probably the most common neighbor complaint?Exeive ie, ee d tV ei e bi.

y e bb ie die i. I

e i bi , e iedie eib

ed ie. Bee e, ide e.

4 You and Mother Nature.tee e e eibii. kee ib ied vid bei ed i e

eib . tee e ie e e i

eibii e e e.

5 What do you mean, my curtains have to be white? Fid ee ive i i ee e

(ed cdii, cve, & reii cc&r) before

ve i dii e ed eibd.


85/2245

6 Adverse possession? sd , d i i. ude ie die, e i i e

b i i without eii eve e. y eve i b ivi ie eii eib

e e ei dive.

Deibe e e i qei i dei d ide eee

eevi i id e eii i e e.

7

It takes a village. pe e e e

dii ei d i ie ide exe,

ii , e e, eve dii. l

ve e id i vie.

8 Good ences make good neighbors? se ee i .Bee bidi e ee, evie ei ee

ei d ee.

9 Yes, hes cute, but. I ve d, ed ie . Fee d ee s i

eib e i d ( ie).

10 Record your agreement. a eee e i eib ( ie, eii e d, eee b bd ee) d be ie

d, ied b evee eed, d ed i e

ede e ee e e i ed.

Being a Good Neighbor 19


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Bless This House

One traditional house blessing or a new neighborinvolves salt, milk and honey, and oiland banging

on pots and pans. First,sprinkle salt at each door and

window (dont orget the dog door); this symbolizes

purication. Next, sprinkle milk and honey at each

door and window; this symbolizes prosperity and peace.Third, anoint each door and window with a bit o oil;

this symbolizes sealing the house to keep the good in and

the bad out. Finallyand this is un at a housewarming

partybang on pots and pans at every door and window to

shoo out any bad energy. (Just dont do this in the middleo the night unless you want the police to show up.)


87/224

i d

TEN

But When Will

My Jessica Play?

20

we y Ee

Be c

I be e

e, ve d ee e ii. heve ed i e b,

ee e i i id.


88/224


1 When theyre only three eet tall. me e vei e d e ie . I i

ee ee e, divii 1 i beb e, ei e? I e d Bbb ki ei,

e ie e ( i e edii).

2 But I never played lacrosse. y d ve be ie,b eed e eed ei i, di,

i ed ed i . g ie, e i

ei dee i, e e ie.

3 Winning? s, Vie, i e i evei. y ee i edee, e i, d ve . cee iive

exeiee e b edi e d e. te

ed e iee d e.

4 Have a game plan or each season and each practice.hve biie d ee e . F

e ie, eed i e di, exeie, d

iviie ee ee b d ived.

5 Communication is key. le (d ie) ee e d idivid. I e i id, i ve ie d de i ed .


89/2249

6 Why is he always the goalie? ni deie eii i idivid e e qi

bei i. Fi ee e ee d e d ee.

7 Saety rst. hve e e d bi id i ie d e. cpr ii i . ae ee e

e eqiee i ? hve edi

eee bee bied b ee? wi d, eqii

i ex be ie.

8 Keep your eyes open. w be eed ii,d, veii, d be. t ee ebe,

dii, ei ii b d i ee

bi i.

9 Check or proper insurance coverage. I vei bd ii, ie i e ided

e ii ee.

10 Behave. k d e e d

d ei ve . t e ei e ide.

When You Elect to Be a Coach 20


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0

Think Positive

The Positive Coaching Alliance was created to helpcoaches teach kids not only to win but also to love sports

and learn lielong skills. It holds workshops or coaches

and parents, and partners with youth sports organizations

and schools. Check it out at www.positivecoach.org.

Ive learned that people will orget what you said,

people will orget what you did, but people will never

orget how you made them eel.

Maya Angelou


91/224

i d

TEN

Whats My Name Again?

21

we y Idei I se

yve bee ed d e

eqi . y bxi

bi e b d

eize. yve ied e e

eeivi e ve edi d e

e d. I edi i ee d,

ve d idei e. I e

exeiei ei e bee

eed bed ee ee iiiviie, ei e e ee.

oeie, bb de e

e e. hee e e i e

ed.


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1 Time, patience, and a eeling o security. y e e e idei i e. I e, eve,

e e i ed qi d ei.

2 Call each credit agency.* re ve bee vii idei e. reqe ee edi e, i

e eied i d ii. a d e d vii

ee be ed i e, ei eve ddii

b idei eiie e bi edi.

3 Create a log. ue ibd eb ie iee e d die. F eve e , ed e

dei, e ie e, e, d ei

ii.

4 File a police report. y eed ie e e bed ii edi eie d edi. D

exe ie, eve.

5 Inspect your credit reports. ne evei (idi e b ii d ddeee ie

bb ied e), d ed ee ii e ee. te e eqied e d ed e, ee

e. ree i ee.

6 Contact each accounts raud department. ce eqeibe ( e be ed e

eqe). Fi e: t e e evie, e


93/224

eqied ee e eev be, i bb

d ve bee ebd ee eed e . I ied,

diee dee d be eed. te

e e die be d e.

7 Make riends with a notary public. y ve e dvi ( ie ee) i eve edi

ivved. se i e e e Fede tde

cii (Ftc) ebie; e i ei diee.

rede, i bb ve be ized ( i e e

e), i i ee.

8 Copy everything you mail. sed i eied, e eeieqeed. kee ie i de.

9 Theres more?! Ee e ii i e Ftc ideid dbe. c eve e ie ie. I ee i i si sei be,

e e si sei adiii. I i dive

iee ed e,

dee veie e u.s. se Dee,

eeive. I ee eed e bx i e,

e evie.

10 On the bright side. le e e xdedibe. I ieize, ide (idi ie).

* c ii e eie eied ee i ied

e ex e.

When Your Identity Is Stolen 21


94/224


Numbers Youll Need

Credit agencies:Equiax: 800-525-6285 or www.equiax.com

Experian: 888-397-3742 or www.experian.com

TransUnion: 800-680-7289 or www.transunion.com

Federal Trade Commission

www.consumer.gov/idthet

Identity Thet Hotline at 877-438-4338

Social Security Administration

www.socialsecurity.gov/oig/guidelin.htm

SSA Fraud Hotline at 800-269-0271

U.S. State Department

www.travel.state.gov/passport/index.html

202-955-0430

U.S. Postal Service (to locate your local postal inspector)

www.usps.com/ncsc/locators/nd-is.html

800-275-8777


95/224

i d

TEN

The Incredible Unpleasantness

o Being a Litigant

22

gei sed

tee i e ii eei

e e e ded e de

e e bei ed. s e e,

, bi bi, , d eee

i. hee e i b bei

e eeivi ed i.


96/224


1 Youre it. y d ve e e e bei ei. y ve be ive e e i

e e eve ed e e ee d eeeed e eve i e e d.

(.. t e ii iei!)

2 No service advantage. te iie e i eie ei e b e ie e i i e

.

3 The purse is shrinking. Eve e ii i, ei id e e. te edi d i e i e

$37,000 di e 1990e i d bee

bee 1992.

4 Its all about the pregame. Fee 3% e ivi ied i, i ie ed bei ied i e

ie bx.

5 Watch what you sign. y ve i i i ivi die e ied i b eei

bii.

6 Five top reasons civil lawsuits are led: die,e iie, die ve e, die ve ee,

d i die d d dive eedi.


97/224

7 Just the acts, maam. wiee (exe exe de iee) ee ei b i e

beved, e ed.

8 The emotional hook. le ve ie e veiie, bee ei e e e

b e ei e. I e deed, ei

e e ee e ve id e. see ei

iedee ee e, d ee e

bee.

9 Forget Perry Mason. a de i 12ee. Ied, i e ede , e be

deided b ie eve ix ee.

10 Address the stress. a deed, i ie be ied,eed, d ied. te e ie b e

e. me e , eve i e.

Getting sued 22


98/224


How rivolous is rivolous?

Lets see there was the little league coach in Ohio who,ater a 0-15 season, was sued or bad coaching. Then,

there was the man who sued the bank he robbed ater

being burned by tear gas rom an exploding security pack.

Then there was the woman who claimed injuries ater

sitting next to an obese woman on an airplane. Thenthere was the lady who sued the makers o a snack ood or

incorrectly listing the calorie count. And o course there

was the writer who was sued or deaming a convicted

serial killer.


99/224

i d

TEN

Anything but Simple

23

Bei ldd

wee e bee d b

i ie ie ex b ei

e i e i bee,

ei e i iie i . I

deide d i, e e ei.


100/224


90

1 Do the legwork. a e i edi i,eeee, d bd, eve i ve d eei

b e. hzd eei e e i bee d e, e, ve i deibe

ied, e. ae bd e? le e ve.

2 Put it on paper. te be vid e i di i de evei: e e ii d

ee, e d de ei eqe, d e ie

ive ee e e ed e e.

3 Thats my money! te i e ve eiei dei. t vid die, e e ei,

ei, di, d ei dei. Ie d

e e vei d ve ie, d

de dedi ei d de.

4 A leaky toilet can cost you its weight in gold. Fie ii e d de i qi ed

e idi e, i iie, vi

i ie.

5 Crime means you pay. y be ibe d d i e e i e e i e .

ldd e ed e e bie e, i

e vee eee id b dd ie

(i e e) eqi ve ii d.


101/22491

6 Your tenants home is their castle. give e 24 ie ( e ii eqied b e ) bee eei

e i, d e e i d e, iei. FyI, i deeie ee e i bxe

bie i d e.

7 What you cant see can hurt you. ldd e ibe e e be exe e e

evie zd, i ide d. m e

eqie die edbed i zd.

8 Say hello to your alter ego. I ie e e ie diiie i e, i i

dde , i i iee, e e e

d be ed i eibe. sevie

e e.

9 Dont even think about skimping on insurance. gdibii d e ie e be ve e

e e, , b, vdi, e

i, d i.

10 Call your tenant beore you call your lawyer, even iyou dread it. ue eed iedie evi e,

exe, ve id e d dei, eve e

be i, edii b e id ,

i i . ni ie ei e d

ie e ee e.

Becoming a Landlord 23


102/224


9

Want to play The Landlords Game?

Monopoly is the best-selling board game in the world,

with over 200 million games sold (in 26 diferent

languages, including Croatian). According to the ocial

Monopoly website (www.hasbro.com/monopoly),

the game was invented by an unemployed inventor,

Charles B. Darrow o Germantown, Pennsylvania, in

the mid-1930s. Some claim that the real inspiration or

Monopoly was Lizzie Magie, a Quaker rom Virginia

who received a patent or The Landlords Game in 1904,

in which all the properties are rented (not acquired

as in Monopoly). Parker Brothers reportedly bought

The Landlords Game or $500 with no royalties

and marketed a ew hundred copies beore stopping

distribution. See www.antimonopoly.com or details.


103/224

i d

TEN

How Hard Could It Be?

24

y Fi DIye

he Ivee

pe

y ve b e d eeve e ed . w eed be de,

d e exied b di i e. I

ve de i bee, ed ve i

bee ebi e e.


104/224


9

1 DIY doesnt mean ree. y be ed e ei, eei be. Exe eive ei bee

b. a, ide . wi e bb i e i; i e i e i ie

ive bie. w d e e ?

h de e exeieed ?

2 How much will you use that reciprocating saw?Fe i e e bi e e, b

e e ii ive bee e i e

e. I e eqie e eve e i, e

( ie e ).

3 Make riends. Fid d de e, i eee e d d e e. te be e

e eied deee (be, eeii, ie).

m e e, d ei i

b ie ve i.

4 Remember the number . n e exiivve ee ee i e de e. ad eve

e i e e ee ie i i i.

5 Sunday night heartbreak. neve e iveee sd i de e e e.

Bei i sd d e e e i i

die.


105/22495

6 Dont drink too much coee. I ve e e e i vve e, i be be ee i

d e e i ? reebe, e f.

7 Respect electricity.tee e de vid i eivee, b eei i eei e. y e

e di. te e e ie, e ie

e ve.

8 Some o our avorite phrases. mee ie, e.(y e.) rii, e. t ie

b, i i. t e i, i e. we e i .

we e e d, i.

9 Unnished business. pe e di

DIy e i e e. red e i i e

e bee ii e e eeie be

i ii iee i ve e.

10 I you nished, congratulations! I did, ee e i dee. j ee ed i. B i! Be

e e i eiee. ge eedi ed ee e ve ee dvied

e de e.

Your First Do-It-Yoursel Home Improvement Project 24


106/224


9

I Your House Is Ready or Its Close-up

Are you in desperate need o a home renovation

and do you have a compelling story? I so, consider,

applying to the popular TV showExtreme Makeover: Home

Edition. I your house is in really bad shapeand your

amilys situation is heartbreakinga team o designers,

contractors, and workers will rebuild and decorate your

entire house (inside and out) in just seven days. Youll

need to make a short video on why your amily needs a

home makeover and complete a lengthy application

(be prepared to report any lawsuits youve been involved

in or criminal convictions). For details, see http://abc

.go.com/primetime/xtremehome/casting.html.


107/224

i d

TEN

The New Market

25

Bi d sei eB

B i 1995, piee oid d ebie

d be e ie. s e ed i

e e i ebie d ed biddi.

he ed e i d $14.83.

seve bii d e, oid d

de je s ve eed ed,

id, d ei ee. I

e e eB, ee e e i e

ed i i ie ee.


108/224


9

1 Say it right in under 50 characters. y i ie i e e ee d e. ue ie

ii ee e i, d ei.

2 Curious as to how many people are viewing yourauctions? ue e e ee vii e ee

i d eve e e be i ii i

i e e e.

3 Use sotware tools. I bee iveee ( be), ee e e e vibe

e, idi e ee e, ii e, d

biddi e. te eb i Iee e eie.

4 eBays top ten. wdei e eB

eie e? hee e e, i de i: ceibe,

ci, se & aeie, Eeie, s, he,

jee & we, ce & Eei, t & hbbie,

B, d pe & g.

5 Pay attention to auction end times. wie e d

ed 15% i e deided i e 60ed, d ed i i e idde e i. ad i

iie i e ii (e e biddi i e

ed), e e (e ie e

e Iee).


109/22499

6 Prevent phishing. I e eed b de ()eB pp ebie, dd e eB b. I e i

ee ed a gd, i e e ee ebie.

7 R U NARU? eB e ve ei di( exe, nm e e i; BIn ee B I n

e). I e e e ei, e e a

e i eB he ei.

8 No reservations. m eB exe dvie i i eeve ie (e ied be i d ve

e) ii. reeve eed bidde.

9 Haben Sie eBay? eB ei i ie eB

ge d eB uk, d exe ei ii

e iei eB ie e.

10 Its all about the eedback. te ei eB i i eed i, d ebe eedb i i. Bid

iive eedb be d ee, d vide

d ii d evie d e eivee.

Buying and Selling on eBay 25


110/224


100

Some o the Oddities Ofered on eBay

belly-button lint

horse hoo ashtray

combination bicycle/lawn mower

toenail clippings

Britney spears gum (ABC or already been chewed)

human kidney (eBay pulled the auction beore the

sale completed)

the right to permanently tattoo an advertisement on a

womans orehead (sold or $10,000)

contents o a trashcan

piece o Nutri-Grain resembling ET

several tablespoons o water, reportedly rom a cupElvis Presley once drank rom


111/224

i d

TEN

Author! Author!

26

wii B

see e id ee e ee diie

ie: ii ei

bii, di e bi i, d ei ee ed i. gee,

i ? weve ied e i eve

fedi d .


112/224


10

1 Whats the secret o hitting the bestseller lists? D bie. mie kd si & se e i

beee d eed: pbie d i d eeei e [bee] e ie e e

e eed i e e. o ?

2 Wondering why books sales have gone at? Be eIee. te vee aei ed e ie e Iee

(b ee ee) edi b ( ee).

3 Dont worry too much about copyright. I eede b b e, e i i. heve,

eiei i i e u.s. ci oe (.i.v)

ee i.

4 It takes two to tangle. I e ii i , ee e i d bii e

bee bei . te eie d i i i

eee.

5 Vanity publishing (when you pay a publisher to print

your book) is rarely worth the money. I e eie edii, ei, d diibi eed b e

bie, e bee i ii ie.

Fie e ie b i ii ei i

e eie.


113/22410

6 Numbers can be deceiving. D e exied e az. e be e d dii i

d. t efe e e b ... d ee e az.

7 Sales may be at, but new books keep on coming. neveve b eed e e i e u.s.ve

1,000 e ie ee, ie e ve dede .

8 Whats the scariest (and least read) provision in yourbook contract? I d be e idei vii, i

eqie e bie e i

bd e ve e b e.

9 Looking or an agent? Be e e

edi ee, e e 20% ii

dei e e 25% vee e.

10 Dont quit your job yet. te vee i de be 2,000 ie i i e. avee be ve e

eve e. o e e d, eve e ee e beee,

. I ie, i d d ie! j d ve ei.

Writing a Book 26


114/224


10

And They Should Know

Writing a novel is a terrible experience, during which thehair oten alls out and the teeth decay.

Flannery OConnor

Writing is more than anything a compulsion, like some

people wash their hands thirty times a day or ear o

awul consequences.

Julie Burchill

Writing is not a proession, but a vocation o unhappiness.

Georges Simenon

The writer has a grudge against society, which he

documents with accounts o unsatisying sex, unrealized

ambition, unmitigated loneliness, and a sense o distress.

Renata Adler

Writing is really horribly hard and I mistrust writers who

say its un. Writing is a lot o unater youve done

it. Beginning it is painul and you always think youve

orgotten how.

Roger Angell


115/224

i d

TEN

Freedoms Just Another Word

or Nothing Let to Lose

27

svivi B

Evebd i be e ie

e. I e i e i,

e ii b e

b i.


116/224


10

1 The new bankruptcy law isnt as bad as you might haveheard. m ee i e ce 7, ee ei

e, d ve ei deb ied .

2 Dont eel guilty. B exi bee e e eeize deb e e bee eve e

iei . B i e e

. te dve i, i eed .

3 Think through your options. te be i debbeiqidi deb ce 7 b,

ei e i ce 13 b, i

e ide e b edeed

e ii, idi e, , d

e.

4 Keep your phone number. l e beided b edi, eve i d e b.

5 Sharpen your pencil. we e b, ive ee e. I i be

d ei e, e d be .

6 Dont le an emergency petition. a ve ei i e e i d e e

e, ee i e ed i be bee

e b e dedie i i e e ei .


117/22410

7 Think twice beore reafrming credit card debts. medi d deb i eed i b, i e e ee

e (ee ie i) deb, e e edi d e .

8 Avoid additional temptation. Beieve i , ib i e ede e edi d e i

ibxb d e e i ie

iee e.

9 Make a budget. ye, i bi, b i exee dei bde i e be e ive ii

e. t i d eb ed

exee.

10 Know your rights. se edi i ee i e debb i, ii e, eve i e

i ied i b. ti i ie, d

i.

Surviving Bankruptcy 27


118/224


10

Is that why they call it Chapter 7?

At the end o every seven years thou shalt make

a release.

And this is the manner o the release: Every

creditor that lendeth ought unto his neighbour

shall release it; he shall not exact it o his

neighbour, or o his brother.

Deuteronomy 15:1-2 (King James Bible)


119/224

i d

TEN

Who Ate the

Last Piece o Pie?

28

mvi i wi y lve

mi e ie ve i

ee i bi e i eii, d

de e ee. Bee ee b d cD, e e

ie ded e e e e

e.


120/224


110

1 Those wild seniors. cbii i eei e ve60 e. mie eive e si sei

bee, ei ive ee ied.

2 Unless its in writing, you dont have the same rightsas marrieds. uied e ive ee d iei

e e i i , d i e

e eie e i e edi deii e

e i e e i be e e.

3 Unmarried couples also dont have the sameresponsibilities. I e eve be, i i ie e

e, eve e i ee, i be eqied i

e e. heve, ee e e ei

ie e e.

4 Domestic what? a e ied e ive ee, dei ei ei e

ei i be e. I ee e,

eie dei e i e eex e

e i ve 62.

5 Avoid unnecessary heartache. wie d i e e d e. w e e e

b iee ie e b biie ie

ee? n eee i ee, i e

d b i i.


121/224111

6 That goes double or buying houses together. I e ee, b e e deed.

red eee b ei divee, d e e e i be .

7 What about kids? uied ieex e veide e e e e e ide. I be, b

e eibe i e ide, d b ve d

i.

8 Love and a tax benet, too. y be be i ivei e deede x e i vide

e i e d e e e $2,900

e e e.

9 More good news. ue e eieed dei e, e i eibe e deb. I

b e ee, eve, e e eibe

e eie , d edi e e e e

i e fe .

10 That was the easy stu. n i deide de i i e e d e ei eve die i e i.

Moving in With Your Lover 28


122/224


11

Come live with me, and be my love,

and we will all the pleasures prove.

Christopher Marlowe


123/224

i d

TEN

Ill Be Rich!

29

hvi Bii Ide

Ee! y e i e

dzzi ide e d evie.

n , ve ed e

exdii eve i d

e e. n ?


124/224


11

1 Whos going to buy it? hvi e ide i exii, b i e. te ie i i eiizi

ide i i ebii. Bee ii b e,e, iei, d e ee ei e

d d e e.

2 No reservations. y eeve e e u.s. ped tde oe (uspto). heve, e vii

e ii (ppa) i ive eedi

d eeve e i ie e uspto e e e.

3 Keep it secret. y d eed ee ie F kx, b d e ebe ed ee e

ide, die eee d bei ei

dei.

4 Patent protection money. h u.s. e iie ed. o e e e, ee e 3% e ed

i ei d.

5 No trade, no trademark. y bi ede de

evie eii i e e d evie e. heve, eeve de i eie

ied e i ii ei eid ie.


125/224115

6 Search and (with luck) you will not nd. j bee veeve ee i i e, de e i bee iveed. y

e e i ee d e e ide bee died e ed. se e e e ed

..v d, i ee, ie ei e

ee.

7 Careul what you wish or. gei e, de, i de ee i exe e i

e ee i ide. y i ve e d

iie, d e e ee d e.

8 Is it easible? ae ieeed i iei d idei i i i e. I e e

i i ie ei d, e ie e

de e e ide.

9 Watch out or deductions. I d ee i ieide, ei ie, b i

dedi e iei e i e bee

i ie.

10 Its not about one great idea. se ive e i ide. t ee e. I

e ide i ebe, d e ee e e ee

e .

Having a Brilliant Idea 29


126/224


11

Why didnt I think o that?Yes, the USPTO has granted

patents or:

a reservation system or using airplane restrooms

(US 6,329,919)

a wind-assisted bicycle (US 6,932,368)

a vest with tubing so your hamster can crawl around

in your clothing (US 5,901,666)

a chewable toothbrush (US 6,769,828)

a kissing shield (US 6,789,799)

a plow that can also be used as a gun (US 35,600)a replace that includes a waterall (US 6,901,925)

a device that reezes dog poop (US 6,883,462)

(Did you ever see the movie Envy? The product that

makes its inventor rich is Vapoorize.)

a combination lawn/garden ornament and cremation

container (US 6,854,165)


127/224

i d

TEN

Rock on . . .

30

si Bd

w, i e i e i i

d i . B

ee e i bd ee i

ied bidi bd i e,

ee e e i .


128/224


11

1 Was that two large and a medium? te e ie i bd i i e. ye, i e,

b e i e bd bie, edie e eie.

2 But I only care about music. sebd i e bd e e de d e. ue e bd ebe

e bie ve bie.

3 The money is in the songs. sii ebe e bd e ie ( e)

ii ebe.

4 When harmony isnt sweet. te eexbd ebe e e e e ei e bd

e d ii ie.

5 Protect yoursel. y d ve d i e ie ed i e , ee i di,

e, i e (e eed i i i i

ed). ci i i i e u.s. (B e ex i

i e i eii i e u.s. ci oe:.i.v.)

6 No ree lunch. F e ee, ee i i eiibe i. adi e ede , e

ed e i iiee.


129/224119

7 Forget CD sales and iTunes. te ei e ie ii i ddbe i e.

8 Write it down. te ie eeive vid bieqbbe bd ebe i ee ei

eee. a i (b ie) eee exii

eqie ei iee, i bii, d i

e bd e i ve ei bd be.

9 Everything was great until we signed the record deal.oe i i e b e ii e

i. td idie bd d ei be ee e

eie bee e ei diibi i e d

e r tdei e b i 1990.

10 You want a piece o me? w e de i bii evee. I e

d ve ed e i i e,

e e e bee ii . a

evidee ei e i i bii, e i e

bd ii e e e eeeed

i e , d ge e ee i eve bee i dieve ii ie.

Starting a Band 30


130/224


10

It Sure Goes Fast

Musicians who led or bankruptcy ater having a hit:

Meat Loa(ater selling 20 million copies), Toni Braxton

(who lost millions in bad deals), rap star Luther Campbell

(who gave up a 36-hole gol course), Tom Petty(ater

hassles with his label), George Clinton (aced with a

lawsuit), and Mick Fleetwood.

Musicians with tax problems: Marvin Gaye (who let the

country briey) andJerry Lee Lewis (who didnt receive

royalty payments or over a decade). And lets not orget

Ray Sawyer,aka Dr. Hook, whose bands rst album ater

emerging rom bankruptcy court was titled Bankrupt.


131/224

i d

TEN

Wedding Fever

31

we y Bee

Eed

ae ee e qei, ee e

id e qei be eed.hee e e i ide

ve d e bi eve.


132/224


1

1 Its all in the amily. I eie ed ide, ei bei d ivve e i e ee. Di id

ei eibiiie d e ibii di bee I d.

2 Consider eloping. I iie e ei e bi, e ied e e d d e

e i edi vi . te bi

d de izz (ve d izz, e)!

3 This wont happen to you, but . . . . I e e beeee, ee e i? I e e, mii

d k, eee i i i, e d ie. I e

e, ne y d ne mexi, e i i dii

i. I e ie de e, e i be e ive.

I i e e, tex d wi, e i e

e e i bei e eee.

4 The big event. sd d ie e e eddi, d vee e e e exeive e.

5 Its true. m ee d eei vee eqie eddiie ve e ibe iiedi exee de bqe , exe. a

ee ee ie e dd eddi

ie ide e i.


133/2241

6 Money talkthe ultimate intimacy. ci eei d eibii deb e bi i e

ie. te be d i i i ei eee.

7 Wedding World. a d evie i e d eddied e e. we i, di vide

ide e id, eve e ied

eddi e.

8 There might be a catch. I e e eeve, e i i, eddi

d eei e ei ie. Iee i i ee die

eie, eve.

9 Relax or a moment. keei eee ee

ie e e e deii. s e

i be edi be qei b bi

e: we? wee? wee e eieed? wee e

i e?

10 Go on a honeymoon! y be exed, d

be ed e ii, b d e eve ii e i e d.

When You Become Engaged 31


134/224


1

The Vein o What?

Engagement rings have always been worn on the thirdnger (or ourth i you call the thumb a nger) o the let

hand. The ancient Romans and other early civilizations

believed this nger was the beginning o the vena amoris

(vein o love), the vein that leads directly to the heart.


135/224

i d

TEN

What to Know

Beore I Do32

gei mied

ce i ie ei e

i e eddi dei,

i fii exei ie

ie. a e eddi bie

be ei ied

biie e eqee d

e i d eibiiie

idivid. lie !


136/224


1

1 Prenup is not a dirty word. Evee ei iedd e ide i ei eee, i

ve vei b ee e ee eiei e ee .

2 Oh, waitare you already married? c ie e e e e eii eei

ie ie, eve ee bee ee. heve,

i exi i e e, d di e i e.

ce i e i i e i e.

3 Its all about the paperwork. Eve e eqie e ie iee bee I d, b e e vie

i i eqiee ei e iee. I e, d

ve e e; i e, ve edi e de.

4 Church vs. state. civi ie i e e e iedi e ee e e. a ie i e u.s. e ivi ie,

bee e eqie ivi iee i de be vid. y

ee i eii ie b vi eii

ee, b e ied di

e e.

5 Its not just about you anymore. ae e ied, e eqied e d ide

ve di ie. y ve e i, e,

e edi deii e i e e i be

e e.


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6 His, hers, and ours. pe d bee eeied de eei bee i ed e e

ied. Diee e e e e diee. I ve e ee ee, ee e bee

e ied.

7 In 9 states, its only a man and a woman. I me,eex e e .

8 Other states o the union. cii, cei, hii,mie, ne jee, d Ve ve vide

ieie eiieie dei ei ivi

i.

9 Marriage, schmarriage. a ee e e ve

ii ie e i e u.s., 52.1% d ee

d 52.6% d e ee ied (d eed) i

2000, di e u.s. ce.

10 I do sometimes doesnt mean orever. me ie ed i dive, d ve 65% ed ie

d. I e e ee b ei ied, d d i! ad exe eed ei ei e e

e e ibe.

Getting Married 32


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I love being married. Its so great to

nd that one special person you want

to annoy or the rest o your lie.

Rita Rudner


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i d

TEN

Congratulations!

33

y w r m

te ide i d

ie e , i i e d

ve qi e ex ei. I e

d i idei i dvee,

eve, ee e e i ie.


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10

1 Take your time. a ie e ee, e i ed 20 35 ie e ee. si d i?

2 Pick thoughtully. I e eei e ie, e eive f e i eee (40 50 deee).

D bei vie? D d exie ie

? ti b e exeiee d e e

di.

3 Write down a plan. ce iee d ede e e ed. F e, ee e

b, zie, d ie ee i d

diee eve.

4 I the shoes t . . . buy them. Exi eed d evi

e be edebe ee. oe

d ei ie, b i, d e e ve

eive e ( bde) i e d.

5 Find training partners. c e ii f b (, be f b, b e). ad i i e

e d i, d, d d e eei ii. I d ve i bddie ed,

e b b.


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6 Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. D e i e. s di e eve veei d

dedi, b eed exeie i fid, e, b, d e ee i e d.

ae i deve? Dii ie i!

7 Listen to your body. cide i i i ii . ge e ex e d d eed

iee iee d ii. oeie i ei

d, i, ied. Ed e? n .

8 What about that stabbing pain? hei oi e e iii, iii. D i i i

e ii d e i e e d. I exeiee

i, b e d. I ee ivee, ve i

eed .

9 Keep it un. ti i bb, b. me e e ee. V , d i ied, e e

d ie e.

10 Dont race to the race. I e vei eee, e ee d ed ie, i e e exed,eed, d ed eei i zi ee.

You Want to Run a Marathon 33


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1

Success is a journey, not a destination.

The doing is usually more important

than the outcome.

Arthur Ashe


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i d

TEN

When Baby Makes Three

34

hvi cid

hvi idb eie bi di

i iei eve. ad e e

ed i ee deivi, i e

qie ! hee e e i e i

ide i.


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1

1 Health insurance is not created equal. yve edexeieed i i e e, b i e dbe e.

me e deqe ve e d ei e(i ee 15 e eee, ede i

); e e deive ( ve deive

bi ee); d edii vii d iizi.

2 Too bad theres no law mandating sleep. Fede (eFi d medi leve a) ive e 12 ee

id eve e eb. se ee d e

e ive bee bee; cii, exe, de

id eve.

3 Consider an epidural. I e exei e ie, e eed i. I i i e ed ie, bb

e. (wee e ei edi dvie.)

4 Babys rst credit card. j iddi, b d e si sei be bb i . te i i

bb vide e . y eed e be i

ideed x be, dd bb ie iie, d

e ee vi b id.

5 You thought you had a lot o luggage. pd d,e ie ee e ve . me e e ib,

e, d e d b e e ( e jveie

pd me e v d ed ce

re).


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6 Leroy, cover your eyes. I e beeedi, ve e i eed bb i bi d exe be i

. (I cii, mie, d e e e, ee e ebe e vide ive e i.)

7 Uncle Sam loves kids. a e, e x be, deede exei d id x edi. tee e

ei x be dive e. see .i.v.

8 Mary Poppins, please. I eed id e, i , d e ee, ebed vide e eve

bee eed ee. s i e e evie

(ied, eib, ee, eve ediii e)

d ei ebie. a d eei d

eeee e.

9 I you dont have a will, nows the time. ad i dve i, e ie e i. I i, e di

ee ie id i e ie eve

ed .

10 Enjoy every minute! a e i eee e d .

Having a Child 34


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Whats in a name?

Emily has been the most popular girls name in the U.S.or the past ten years.

Famous Emilys include:

Emily Dickinson, poet

Emily Post, etiquette expert

Emily Bronte, author (Wuthering Heights)

Emily Litella, Gilda Radner character (Never

mind) on Saturday Night Live in the 1970s

Emily Watson, actress (Punch-Drunk Love)

Emily the Strange, 13-year-old counter-culture

character with our black cats seen on everything

rom t-shirts and bags to shoes

Emilyis also the name o a small town in Minnesota

and a strong hurricane in 2005.


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i d

TEN

Growing Your Family

35

adi cid

Fe deii i ie eqie e d

ee ie di id.

wee ed ve e ide

e di id, d

e i bee e e.


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1

1 Lots o kids nee

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