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高校 の めいこん: life of highschool Final zine Period 2
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高校 の めいこん By Jarrett Taira
高校 の めいこん By Jarrett Taira
Table of Contents
Author’s Note————————————————————————#1
Convince Us by Jarrett Taira——————————————————#2
Share My Judgment by Jarrett Taira———————————-————#4
Pet Peeve Paper by Jarrett Taira—————————————————#6
What it means to be Paper by Jarrett Taira—————————————#8
Raising A Question by Tarin Tanji————————————————#10
Final Way Out by Trevin Tengan ————————————————#12
Killing Patton by Bill O-Rilley—————————————————#14
The Hunt for the Red October By Tom Clancy———————————#16
1
Author's Note: All of the pieces shown before you are things that we all will see, metaphorically
and literally. The sports and big games of our youth and the stressful tests that make us
want to rip out our hair. The pieces I selected are all related in one basic part.
Everything here is something you could encounter in your high school life. The big
games of things like baseball to the stressful tests that could kill your grade in one go.
There are also your research papers on famous people or reading a book for class. All
of these things are things that will be a part of your high school life. The writing
process is a very basic but effective one seen throughout these pieces. They start off
with finding an idea or topic, map out how they will write, start for the draft and slowly
get peer edits and tune up their piece to something that is worthy of presentation. it is
also a slow one requiring you to go back and forward with multiple edits needing to be
done in order for you to get the best product possible. When writing to an audience and
having good voice throughout your piece, I learned on how trust me statements are
important. Using words that you commonly wouldn't in a regular essay like I and you
or if, should be used in your essay when you want to talk to an audience. Become more
casual with the speech to make it easier for the reader to make a connection to the
piece. Many of the pieces displayed here show quality writing that has good trust me
writing. Over the time we started and ended the semester, I have seen an obvious
improvement in my writing referring to trust me styled writing and towards audiences.
It has also helped me improve my editors eye with looking out for certain things in
order to help the person I’m reading get a better grasp on what they should and
shouldn't have in their essay. It also helps me to learn from them at the same time. The
time I have spent in Expository writing has not only helped me improve my basic
writing skills, but has helped me go beyond the basic and into a more complex writing
styles of making better dialogue, writing to and audience and more. I will take allot
away from this experience.
2
Convince us paper by Jarrett Taira
When people do things they love to have action roles and the catcher has no
shortage in action. Catchers will always get to touch the ball at least as many
times as the pitcher does. They will catch each pitch as well block and throw
people out. It is an exhilarating experience seeing the 80 mph fastball zooms in
through the zone. It’s such a beautiful sight to see it go by. But if there is a wild
pitch or something in the dirt, you get to shoot out or hit the dirt and block a ball
from getting past you. Taking place in a second, you see the throw and move
your body to stop the pitch that could save your team or end the game. Then there
are instances where the ball is thrown to you in order to tag someone out.
“Runner!” as the first basemen or second basemen would yell, a runner
steals. The throw made by you just got your team an out and closer to winning
the game. Split minute decisions with the perfect throw and catch or even the
adjustments needed to get the ball in time are the life of the catcher. By doing so
you manage to stop an out or chase him back to the bag.
3
Why it’s Good
"They will catch each pitch as well block and throw people out. It is an
exhilarating experience seeing the 80 mph fastball zooms in through the zone. It’s
such a beautiful sight to see it go by. But if there is a wild pitch or something in
the dirt, you get to shoot out or hit the dirt and block a ball from getting past you.
Taking place in a second, you see the throw and move your body to stop the pitch
that could save your team or end the game. Then there are instances where the
ball is thrown to you in order to tag someone out. “Runner!” as the first basemen
or second basemen would yell, a runner steals. The throw made by you just got
your team an out and closer to winning the game. “This display allots of trust me
righting. It displays good amounts of showing some dialogue as well as giving a
story in it. The story helps to allow the reader to get more interested as well as
feel more connected with the role that is being described. The essay also uses lots
of details like “80 MPH fastball or the situations that a capture will go
through. It’s good use of wording and voice helps to keep you interested and on
topic. Not only do those help the reader become more trusting of statements of
what a catcher is like, but it will also help them enjoy reading it allot more of just
opinions. The essay is a great trust me essay and convinces many to like the role
of catcher.
4
Share My Judgment by Jarrett Taira
When you want to buy a tool but you want the one that is most efficient,
which one do you buy, the pretty but bad one or the bulky and good one. That’s
what PCs are like. They might not have the sleek white and gray that the Mac
systems all show but The PC is highly efficient and gets the job done. They are
big, but they are able to be customized to fit a user’s desires. Want something
faster or more data, more graphics for higher end work, that’s what you can do
with a PC. But due to the way Macs are, you risk breaking your computer and
loosing warranty if you take it apart. It is practically locked together and taking
apart risks breaking it. The bigger it is the more you can do with it, the smaller it
is, the less you can do with it. Macs are a small platform but PCs can be changed
in any way you see fit. The next thing is that they are also allot more expensive
than PC when all you need a Computer to do is very small and simple basic tasks
when Macs do them and PCs can do the same. The PC is ranging from $100 and
up cheaper than the Mac. It’s like buying a huge jet to transport a person from a
building to one next to it. PC’s are more efficient and cost less than macs.
5
Why it’s Good
In this essay, it talks about how PC's are better than Mac's. This essay is
about convincing the reader to like one product more than the other. When you
read through, you will notice many details like “The PC is ranging from $100 and
up cheaper than the Mac." This quote allows for proof of a statement helping the
reader become more trusting of the statement of PC's superiority. There is also
lots of dialogue with the reader to help them feel more connected to the story.
The next thing there is a good amount of is analogies. For example, “it’s like
buying a huge jet to transport a person from a building to one next to it.” This use
of analogies help the reader become more understanding. with that it made for a
good use of Voice from the author as well as word choice. This made a good
fluid reading that kept you interested in learning more. The word choice used in
explaining the different attribute of the two computers like "The next thing is that
they are also allot more expensive than PC when all you need a Computer to do is
very small and simple basic tasks when Macs do them and PCs can do the same.
The PC is ranging from $100 and up cheaper than the Mac. It’s like buying a
huge jet to transport a person from a building to one next to it. PC’s are more
efficient and cost less than macs." This quote is one of the great examples of good
word choice used to explain the different properties of the computers.
6
Pet Peeve Paper by Jarrett Taira
No matter what route you take. The chances of you encountering someone
who drives recklessly will always be possible. For instance, today when I took
the off-ramp on to Punahou Street, I encountered a reckless driver. Driving up
and just before I stop behind the line of cars, a huge SUV speeds over from the
right lane and all the way over to the left one. He forces me to slam on me too
quickly slow down when I’m coming up the ramp. I am still a little tired so my
adrenaline rushed up. I wasn’t mad but just scared for my life because I didn’t
want to hit the guy. Once the light changes to green, reckless driver numero uno
speeds off to his destination. This happens almost every day in some form.
Maybe not as bad but still happens. The blessing is that from that point on, I was
able to drive with safe drivers all the way to school. A calm drive with no stress
after my adrenaline filled situation. The safe driver is what I want and you will to
because when we get older, those stressful situations will get us killed.
7
Why it’s Good
The reason why this was chosen as a good piece was that it was using a
story to help in an explanation. Even though it is a bit one sided, it still is a good
way of explaining to a reader of how you feel about a party. “Driving up and just
before I stop behind the line of cars, a huge SUV speeds over from the right lane
and all the way over to the left one. He forces me to slam on me too quickly slow
down when I’m coming up the ramp. I am still a little tired so my adrenaline
rushed up. I wasn’t mad but just scared for my life because I didn’t want to hit the
guy. Once the light changes to green, reckless driver numero uno speeds off to his
destination. This happens almost every day in some form. Maybe not as bad but
still happens.” This is easy to understand the feelings of writer when they were
going on with the situation of driving with reckless driver. Good example for me
as well because I usually don’t use stories in an essay.
8
What it means to be Paper by Jarrett Taira
Baseball is a sport that requires the best of your abilities to be put to use.
You need to work hard to be the best in order to be the best. People like Babe
Ruth, Miguel Cabrera, Derek Jeter, Alex Rodriguez, Hank Aaron and many more.
All of the people who have been listed are some of the best of the best. Baseball
players are people who have mastered their skills for their special locations on the
field. It could be the batter, the pitcher, the catcher, the first baseman and many
more. Baseball players work hard to perfect their skills. Like you and I we have
the ability to do so, I have worked on my skills for almost more than 10 years
now. I have started all over but slowly developed and improved the skills of
speed, agility, strength and working on my throws, specialized playing positions,
and the many different parts of the game. They all know strategy, got skill and
have desire and love for the game. They are some of the true players of this great
game and because of what they have done, it defines what a true player is even
more.
9
Why it’s Good
In this essay, a good use of trust me statements and other ways of making a
reader believe you is used. Examples of details of experience help to make the
writer be more credible. For example,” I have worked on my skills for almost
more than 10 years now. I have started all over but slowly developed and
improved the skills of speed, agility, strength and working on my throws,
specialized playing positions, and the many different parts of the game.” This
helps to give more detail show that you are an expert at the subject. Also giving
important figures like people who are professionals at it help to show expertise as
well. “People like Babe Ruth, Miguel Cabrera, Derek Jeter, Alex Rodriguez,
Hank Aaron and many more. All of the people who have been listed are some of
the best of the best. Baseball players are people who have mastered their skills
for their special locations on the field. It could be the batter, the pitcher, the
catcher, the first baseman and many more.” This essay used allot of examples and
effective strategies to prove their expertise what makes it a good essay.
10
Raising A Question by Tarin Tanji
Although there is a college right next to our school, many students do not want
to enroll there. The University of Hawaii at Manoa’s tuition is around half the cost
of our school but does not sit well with students and parents. Its website states, “A
destination of choice, students and faculty come from across the nation and the
world to take advantage of UH Manoa's unique research opportunities, diverse
community, nationally-ranked Division I athletics program, and beautiful
landscape.” But just as parents sacrifice thousands of dollars to send their children
to private school, they are willing to do the same for the most prestigious
universities.
My dad attended UH after high school and received a full scholarship for his
last two years of undergraduate study and saved a lot of money by staying home and
attending the state’s medical school. He completed his final years of training on the
mainland and is now an ophthalmologist who is equally as successful as his friends
who attended more prestigious schools. Although my dad wasn’t able to attend the
best school straight out of high school, he didn’t lose sight of his goals and think of
the opportunities he was missing out on, but used all of the resources he did have.
After he received his general education, he was able to attend more prestigious
graduate schools. People base their impression of him on the last school he attended
for fellowship, not the beginning of his college education.
11
Why it’s Good
Here in this essay written by Tarin Tanji, it uses a lot of details to support
her statement and question better. “My dad attended UH after high school and
received a full scholarship for his last two years of undergraduate study and saved
a lot of money by staying home and attending the state’s medical school.” These
sentences are just some of the examples of what a good essay should contain. A
usage of detail not only makes it look better, but it helps it sound better because it
helps to give a better backing to the statement she makes. Word choice also
makes it flow well and be fluid. It chose it because it is something my essay
needs as well. Another good example is in her quotes. “A destination of choice,
students and faculty come from across the nation and the world to take advantage
of UH Manoa's unique research opportunities, diverse community, nationally-
ranked Division I athletics program, and beautiful landscape.” The good word
choice helps improve her voice in the piece making it easier to understand her
feeling and stance on the topic. This essay portrays all of the good parts that make
a good essay.
12
Final Way Out Trevin Tengan
The biggest and most common argument about finals is why does one,
meaning a single test represent 20 percent of your grade; you spend the other 80
percent in the classroom doing homework, taking quizzes and tests. The thing I
just don't understand is why does a test on only one day possess so much of your
final grade, when the other 120 days you spend studying you butt off only to find
out if you bomb your final you grade could go from an "A" to a "c". I mean it just
doesn't add up and make much sense.
Then you go into a more deeper meaning and find out that all your hard
work is for nothing, but your teacher says "if you were actually working and
studying hard the test should have been easy." This seems legit until you find out
some people aren't made for taking tests. People who slack off in the classroom,
not doing homework, but are great test takers even out the playing field here,
although it shouldn't be that way. This shouldn't be the message to students
because some might procrastinate and think "if I don't do good during the quarter,
then I can just study super hard for the final and still get a good grade." Even
though it's a good thing to study for the final, the student should still persevere in
the classroom. There are some alternatives that could replace this system, but
would still be very efficient.
13
Why it’s Good
Here, this essay written by Trevin Tengan displays good word usage,
examples and fluency. he also has a good organized style of explanation, he starts
off here with grades and the numbers and then slowly connects it to another
supporting topic of class vs test based learners. This allows for a good division
but organization between his paragraphs. another important part of his essay that
adds on to it would be the word usage and fluency. “The thing I just don't
understand is why does a test on only one day possess so much of your final
grade, when the other 120 days you spend studying you butt off only to find out if
you bomb your final you grade could go from an "A" to a "c". I mean it just
doesn't add up and make much sense.” Shown here, he uses a good set of words
so that it will be simplistic, to the point, and easy to connect with as well as flow.
This also helped express his voice more clearly instead of making a long boring
list. By doing so it isn't choppy allowing for a better delivery of the information
and supporting his statement with more feeling and liveliness than a regular
statement. Trevin wrote an excellent essay and the style of writing he used is
effective.
14
Killing Patton By Bill O-Rilley
O'Reilly, Bill, and Martin Dugard. Killing Patton: The Strange Death of World War II's Most Audacious
General / Bill O'Reilly and Martin Dugard. N.p.: n.p., n.d. Print.
The man with forty-five minutes to live cannot defend himself.
General George S. Patton Jr. Fears no one but now he sleeps flat on his back
in a hospital bed. His upper body is encased in plaster, the result of a car accident
twelve days ago. Room 110 is a former utility closet, just fourteen feet by sixteen
feet. There are no decorations, pictures on the walls o, or elaborate furnishings-
just the narrow bed, white walls, and a single high window. A chair has been
brought in for Patton’s wife, Beatrice, who endured a long, white-knuckle flight
over the north Atlantic from the family home in Boston to be at his bed side. She
sits there now, crochet hook moving silently back and forth, raising her eyes
every few moments to see if her husband has awakened.
Page 1
15
Why it’s Good
Bill O'Reilly wrote an excellent book and his introduction paragraph of
what starts off the entire book displays an excellent example of good writing. Bill
uses a good voice when writing making it be fluid as well as having good word
choice. He also gives content that is important when starting it off, it is
interesting, fluid, and strong. For example “General George S. Patton Jr. Fears no
one but now he sleeps flat on his back in a hospital bed. His upper body is
encased in plaster, the result of a car accident twelve days ago. Room 110 is a
former utility closet, just fourteen feet by sixteen feet. There are no decorations,
pictures on the walls o, or elaborate furnishings- just the narrow bed, white walls,
and a single high window.” By using an explanation of the setting, he gives good
content, but also keeps it interesting so that a reader would want to keep on going
to find out more. This was a good introduction paragraph to a good book.
16
The Hunt for the Red October By Tom Clancy
Clancy, Tom. The Hunt for Red October. Annapolis, MD: Naval Institute, 1984. Print.
"Easier, but hardly easy, Dan," General Hilton objected. "For Christ's sake, they have at least one political officer aboard, plus moles from their intelligence outfits. You really think a Party
hack would go along with this?"
"Why not? You heard Ryan—that frigate's mutiny was led by the political officer."
"Yeah, and since then they have shaken up that whole directorate," Hilton responded. "We have defecting KGB types all the time, all good Party members," Foster said. Clearly he
liked the idea of a defecting Russian sub. The president took all this in, then turned to Ryan. "Dr. Ryan, you have managed to persuade
me that your scenario is a theoretical possibility. Now, what does the CIA think we ought to do
about it?"
"Mr. President, I'm an intelligence analyst, not—"
"I know very well what you are, Dr. Ryan. I've read enough of your work. I can see you have
an opinion. I want to hear it."
Ryan didn't even look at Judge Moore. "We grab her, sir."
"Just like that?"
"No, Mr. President, probably not. However, Ramius could surface off the Virginia Capes in a
day or two and request political asylum. We ought to be prepared for that contingency, sir, and
my opinion is that we should welcome him with open arms." Ryan saw nods from all the chiefs. Finally somebody was on his side. "You've stuck your neck out on this one," the president observed kindly. "Sir, you asked me for an opinion. It will probably not be that easy. These Alfas and Victors
appear to be racing for our coast, almost certainly with the intention of establishing an
interdiction force—effectively a blockade of our Atlantic coast."
"Blockade," the president said, "an ugly word."
"Judge," General Hilton said, "I suppose it's occurred to you that this is a piece of disinformation aimed at blowing whatever highly placed source generated this report?"
Judge Moore affected a sleepy smile. "It has, General. If this is a sham, it's a damned
elaborate one. Dr. Ryan was directed to prepare this briefing on the assumption that this data is
genuine. If it is not, the responsibility is mine." God bless you, Judge, Ryan said to himself, wondering just how gold-plated the WILLOW source was. The judge went on, "In any case, gentlemen, we will have to respond to this Soviet activity whether our analysis is accurate or not." Page 71.
17
Why it’s Good
This piece is from the book the Red October. Not only was the movie
extremely good, the book was very successful selling millions of copies all over.
it has effective organization allowing for good battles of dialogue to go between
people to allow tensions to rise and new interesting subjects to surface. The
next great thing this book had was its strong word choice. It kept a good edicate
with the dialogue used to keep the story moving and on your toes. “Dr. Ryan
was directed to prepare this briefing on the assumption that this data is
genuine. If it is not, the responsibility is mine." God bless you, Judge, Ryan said
to himself, wondering just how gold-plated the WILLOW source was. The judge
went on, "In any case, gentlemen, we will have to respond to this Soviet activity
whether our analysis is accurate or not."” The sentences use strong wording that
helps to keep it informational but interesting. The quality word choice and
fluency of it is easy to see because it is a conversation like: “You've stuck your
neck out on this one," the president observed kindly. "Sir, you asked me for an
opinion. It will probably not be that easy. These Alfas and Victors appear to be
racing for our coast, almost certainly with the intention of establishing an
interdiction force—effectively a blockade of our Atlantic coast."” These lines
said by Ryan and other members of the cabinet allowed for a strong, hard hitting
voice and good sentence flow. This was just one of the many parts of a great
book, “The Hunt For the Red October.”
18
Expository Writing Period # 2