IntimacyIntimacy and friendships defend
against stressIntimacy progresses from
attraction – close connection – commitment
Several paths to intimacy, not just marriage and parenthood
Gender influence on intimacyMen = Share activities and
interests◦Not failures and emotional problems
Women = Share secrets, weaknesses & problems◦Expect sympathy
Romantic partnersArranged marriages
◦“What does love have to do with it?”Adolescents ask for parent’s
permissionLive together & marry when they
are able◦Western cultures
The dimensions of love - Sternberg’s triangular concept of lovePassion
◦Sex & intense emotionsIntimacy
◦Knowing someone well◦Sharing secrets
Commitment◦Grows gradually
Decisions to be together Mutual care Kept secrets Forgiveness
Hookups without commitmentSexual encounter without
intimacy nor commitmentLess likely if a serious
relationship is desired◦Prefer to get to know them first
CohabitationMost young adults (in U.S., England,
& Europe) cohabit rather than marry before age 25
Half plan to marryMore likely to fight & end the
relationship than marriedsCohabitation does not prevent
marriage problemsCohabitation = increased chance of
later divorce
Changes in marriage patternsMost adults 20-30 are not
marriedFewer adults are married and
more are divorcedDivorce rate = half of marriage
rateMultiple divorces & remarriages
skew the statisticsIn the U.S. only one first marriage
in three – not one in two – ends in divorce
Factors leading to improvement in relationshipsGood communicationFinancial securityEnd of addiction or illness
Similarities and differencesHomogamy
◦Like marries like◦Similar: Age, Race, Ethnicity, SES,
Religion, Education, AttitudesSocial homogamy
◦Similar leisure interests & role preferences
◦E.g. Reading a book at home, vs. wanting to go out and party
Heterogamy◦Dissimilar attributes
Learning to listenDemand withdraw interaction
◦Women – Want to talk (demanding)◦Men – Don’t want to talk (withdraw)
Intimate partner violenceEmerging adults experience more
violence than over 25 years oldAlcohol and drugs increase
severity of violence
Types of intimate partner violenceSituational couple violence
◦Based more on the situation than personality
◦E.g. No money, job stressIntimate terrorism
◦Physical, sexual, psychological abuse◦Victim too scared to fight back, seek
help, or withdraw◦Get out of the house to a safe place
Emerging adults and their parentsLinked lives
◦Each family member linked to others Dependent on others for success, health and
well-being
◦Many 18 – 25 year olds still live at home Parents encourage young adults to become
independent Many family relationships improve when
young adults leave home
Financial support◦Parents helping adult children◦Tuition, medical care, food, etc.