Living
Realization
Your present experience, as it is
Scott Kiloby
The Kiloby Group
©2012 The Kiloby Group. All rights reserved.
The Living Realization text is copyrighted material. Please do
not distribute, copy, or post online. You have purchased a
single end-user license for your personal use only
Cover photo: Evan Ludes
Design: Mark Peerman
Editor: Fiona Robertson
Disclaimer: The Living Realization website and text is for
educational purposes only and is not intended in any way to be a
replacement for, or a substitute to, qualified medical advice,
diagnosis, or treatment, or as a replacement for, or a substitute
to, psychological advice, diagnosis or treatment, or therapy from
a fully qualified person. If you think you are suffering from a
medical or psychological condition, consult your doctor or other
appropriately qualified professional person or service
immediately.
CONTENTS
Introduction to Living Realization .................................................. 1
The Main Invitation ........................................................................... 5
The Middle Way ................................................................................. 9
Basic Points ....................................................................................... 12
Chapter One: Recognizing Awareness ......................................... 15
Chapter Two: Appearances ............................................................ 40
Chapter Three: Thoughts ............................................................... 57
Chapter Four: Emotions ................................................................. 77
Chapter Five: Sensations ................................................................. 87
Chapter Six: States ........................................................................ 102
Chapter Seven: Experiences ........................................................ 107
Chapter Eight: Oscillation ........................................................... 113
Chapter Nine: Inseparability ....................................................... 122
Chapter Ten: The Unfindable Inquiry ....................................... 139
Chapter Eleven: The Middle Way .............................................. 161
1
INTRODUCTION:
Living Realization
YOU KNOW WHEN you are ready for a message like Living
Realization. You feel it to the very core of your being. You’re
pulled towards it by an unmistakable knowing that there is
something deeper, something more to life than what you
currently believe or perceive.
You have come to this message because its words
resonate with you on a level deeper than the mind. There is a
peace within you that you know is present, but that seems
somehow buried under the noise of life, with its personal drama
and constant seeking towards the future. Now, you are ready to
move beyond these self-centered patterns. You are ready to
begin looking into your present experience in a deep and
specific way. You are ready to see why it is that you suffer, why
you seek, and why human life contains so much conflict.
Perhaps you’ve suffered with self-loathing, doubt,
depression, anxiety, addiction, over-thinking, or some other
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2
emotional or psychological issue. Maybe you have always felt
uncomfortable in your own skin. Maybe you have experienced
conflict with others, or painful regret and guilt in relationships.
If you are like most humans, you’ve experienced yourself as
incomplete or deficient in some way.
For some of us, life has been fine. No real
breakdowns. No intense hardships. We may have experienced
some degree of contentment or even moments of real freedom.
Yet even those of us who have had pretty good lives often carry
a subtle, ongoing, and gnawing sense that an important piece of
life’s puzzle seems somehow just out of reach.
Many of us have searched for life’s answers everywhere
but here and now. We thought the answers were in the future,
so we sought them there. We looked for relief in relationships,
jobs, material success, self-help programs, drugs, alcohol,
meditation, prayer, or belief systems.
In our search for contentment, we may have come
across religions, philosophies, self-improvement programs, or
spiritual teachings that swept us off of our feet with beautiful
language and the promise that further down the road, after
many years of work, we might discover the contentment we are
seeking. We may have become diligently and earnestly involved
in these programs, seduced by promises of fabulous worldly
goods or other-worldly spiritual planes.
The treasure here is quite different. It is not a promise
of future fulfillment. It is not an elaborate system designed to
revise our personal stories. It is an invitation to put all that aside
long enough to look deeply into our present experience and to
realize that the wholeness and healing that we seek are already
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here. When we make this discovery, we find that love, peace,
compassion, and wisdom are naturally present. The key is to
recognize this treasure. We have just been overlooking it,
searching in all the wrong places.
Living Realization is nothing short of a love affair with
life. It is like falling in love with experiencing itself, and seeing
that our present experience is perfect just as it is, no matter
where we are or what is happening. This does not mean that we
escape pain or challenging situations, like illness or death.
Rather, we see that everything that happens—the good and the
bad—is equally drenched in freedom. To see perfection in
every experience, and in everyone and everything, is to realize
that our fundamental nature is experience itself. When we come
to realize that present experiencing is what we are, we live in a
deep and natural acceptance of each moment as it is. This is
freedom in the midst of every single happening in our lives.
Living Realization is about more than just learning a
new language or employing a new method. Although it is a
language and method, it is actually a vehicle designed to reveal
present freedom. This is about a realization that is lived, not
just entertained intellectually. If language alone were enough,
one could walk to the local bookstore, pick up any well-written
book on human freedom, and magically experience that
freedom simply by reading or memorizing the words.
Teachings, religions, courses, methods, paths, and
practices are merely tools. They are invitations to look into our
own direct experience. If a teaching is not designed to redirect
us back to our own experience, it is a distraction. This is not
about focusing on a method or practice for years with the hope
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of a payoff down the road. It is not about memorizing fancy
spiritual words. Rather, the method here is always directing us
to look into our present experience. It is about discovering that
the treasure of liberation is already contained within what we
are.
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The Main Invitation
To the best of your ability, put aside everything you have ever
learned or read about freedom or happiness for long enough to
hear this message. Start anew!
Let’s get to the crux of the matter, which is a constant
reminder that only you hold the key to this indestructible
contentment that we call “Living Realization.” No one can give
it to you, not even the clearest path, method, or teaching in the
world.
Let every word you read disappear as soon as you’ve
read it. Let the words be like breezes that blow through your
mind only long enough to remind you to recognize awareness in
all situations.
The main invitation in Living Realization is this:
Recognize awareness
Let all appearances be as they are
See that appearances are inseparable.
There are many other pointers, tools, and inquiries in this book,
but these simple pointers are really all you need to recognize
freedom in the midst of your life.
We must start with something fundamental: basic,
everyday awareness. What is awareness? Right now, before you
entertain your story of who you are and before any other
thought arises, there is a basic awake, thought-free awareness
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here. Awareness is the basic capacity to be aware. It’s as simple
as that. If you try to understand that intellectually, you miss the
simplicity of it. Before you think about it, are you aware right
now? That is awareness.
Stop for one moment and bring your full attention to
this basic awareness. It is what allows the present moment to
effortlessly be as it is. Notice that when you are not thinking,
this basic awareness simply allows, for example, the wall to be as
it is. It naturally allows a table to be as it is. It naturally allows
the air in the room to be as it is. It takes no effort to let
everything be as it is. Discover this for yourself. Stop thinking
for long enough to get one glimpse of the fact that there is a
basic awareness already here. All you have to do is notice that it
is here. Then notice that when a thought arises, this basic
awareness allows even that thought to be as it is.
At first, this awareness may not seem like a big deal at
all. Perhaps thoughts rush right back in very quickly, one after
the other, and take over your attention. But that one glimpse of
life without thought is actually monumental. It is a doorway to
freedom.
The more we return to this basic awareness, over and
over, throughout the day, the more we see that it is always and
already present. We discover for ourselves exactly what the
words acceptance, freedom, love, peace, compassion, wisdom,
and selflessness are really referring to: our own immediate
experience in the here and now, free of the belief in separation.
The first chapter of this book is devoted to encouraging
you to recognize basic, everyday awareness in your own direct
experience. We recommend that you take your time with
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Chapter One. Read it through several times, if necessary. Do
not try to understand awareness intellectually. It cannot be
grasped by the mind. Just follow the pointers.
The remaining chapters direct you into the profound
realization of inseparability, which is the energetic felt sense that
nothing is separate in your present experience. We devote
several chapters to discussing “appearances.” Appearances
include thoughts, emotions, sensations, states, and experiences.
This discussion becomes the doorway into the experience of
inseparability. The direct experience of the inseparability of life
is the key to acceptance, freedom, love, peace, compassion,
wisdom, and selflessness. You begin to experience all
appearances as coming and going inseparably to awareness,
rather than to a personal story of self. In allowing all thoughts
to be as they are, and recognizing awareness as the basic space
to which thoughts come and go, you rely less and less on
thinking. You rely more and more on simple, basic, everyday
awareness. You come to see through the belief in separation
that is embedded in the thought stream. This releases you from
suffering, seeking, and conflict.
We want to be clear about what we mean by the word
“suffering.” Many people have the idea that suffering refers to
intense physical agony or extreme mental and emotional
depression. This is not how the word “suffering” is used in this
text. To suffer is to be in any way resistant to life as it is
appearing right now. Suffering could be as simple as not
wanting to feel a present emotion or sensation, or even a minor
irritation. Suffering is the non-acceptance of life as it is in this
moment.
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If you are having trouble “getting” all this, don’t worry.
This method is designed to help you relax naturally into this
realization. Some may recognize the release from suffering,
seeking, and conflict very quickly. For others, there may be a
more gradual unfolding. But everyone comes to see that this is
a present, lived experience. Welcome to your freedom!
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The Middle Way
The Living Realization message is designed to awaken us from
the belief in separation into the present experience of
inseparability—Oneness. This recognition allows us to naturally
move and act in the world in a new way, free from the sense of
separation from each other and from all things in life. However,
if we then begin to emphasize viewpoints or beliefs at the other
end of the spectrum, such as “nothing exists,” we have gone too
far. We have denied conventional existence completely. The
Middle Way is freedom from these dualistic mental positions of
“everything exists separately” and “nothing exists.” The Middle
Way is the way of balance. It keeps us from turning Oneness
into a belief system that denies the play of relativity. Relative
viewpoints are always in play when we are thinking, speaking,
creating, and responding to each other in relationship. Yet
those viewpoints do not bring about suffering, seeking, and
conflict in our lives when we no longer identify with them.
They wash through our present experience temporarily, leaving
no trace, and no self to take ownership of them.
Conventional existence just means relativity. In this
method, even as we see through the belief in separation, we
continue to feel completely free to refer to relative things for the
sake of convenience. Although you will no longer energetically
experience yourself as separate, you will continue to be
comfortable referring to yourself by your name, taking care of
the practical needs of your body, your health, and your family,
and expressing your unique talents, skills, and knowledge. This
may seem contradictory at first. But it becomes quite natural. It
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is only the belief in being a completely separate person that
troubles us. Thoughts about a self and the appearance of having
a body and even a story are no problem at all once there is no
longer a deeply rooted identification with those appearances.
We start to experience a kind of delicious irony in the
Middle Way. We start to see life more and more as a play,
where we know in the deepest sense that the characters and
things in the play are not truly separate, yet we enjoy the play
anyway. Nothing is separate does not mean, “Nothing exists.”
Life continues appearing with all of its relationships,
experiences, colors, shapes, tastes, smells, and labels, yet nothing
appears inherently separate and cut off from everything else.
How do you discover the Middle Way? It just shows
up, automatically and naturally, when you get involved in this
method. It’s like jumping into a boat that feels very natural and
comfortable from the start, even though you don’t know exactly
where it’s going. Taking up the invitations in this book is like
following a map of the river. In recognizing awareness as ever-
present and seeing through separation, you find that you are
living the Middle Way naturally. Living becomes effortless and
the map is not relied upon as much. Direct experience takes
over.
This is how the Living Realization method works in our
lives:
1. We start out with the belief that we are separately
existing selves in a world of other, separately existing
people and things. Most people have this belief
operating in one degree or another. The belief in
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separation is the root cause of suffering, seeking, and
conflict.
2. In this method, we start with a very basic invitation to
recognize awareness in all situations. Awareness is seen
to be always present in the midst of whatever is
happening. This allows us to relax from our tendency
to focus and rely on thinking so much. We find a
natural ease and well-being as we recognize awareness.
3. We experience emotions and sensations more and more
without labeling them and placing them into a personal
story. This relieves the constant desire to escape into
the future in order to feel better. Every emotion and
sensation is allowed to be as it is presently. This
provides a natural healing, a mental and emotional
balance in our lives.
4. We discover that every object is inseparable from the
thoughts, emotions, and sensations that “make it up.”
We see that all thoughts, emotions, and sensations
appear and disappear inseparably to awareness. We use
the Unfindable Inquiry to see that we cannot find a
separate thing anywhere. The belief in separation
dissolves, either all at once or gradually.
5. In seeing through the belief in separation, we continue
to refer to things relatively for the sake of convenience.
This is the Middle Way. Conventional existence is the
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appearance of different things, like self, other, cars,
cities, justice, apples, the Earth, and science. We see
that everything is empty of separate nature and yet
things still appear. In conventional existence,
everything is relationship, but separation is nowhere to
be found.
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Basic Points
Here are the basic points of the method mapped out in more
detail. The chapters that follow explain these points more fully.
Awareness is the basic capacity to be aware. It is that to
which all appearances come and go.
Through resting as awareness, in brief moments,
repeatedly throughout the day, awareness is recognized
to be ever present, regardless of what appears and
disappears.
An appearance is anything that comes and goes
temporarily to awareness, including all thoughts,
emotions, sensations, states, and experiences.
Letting all appearances be as they are means letting each
thought, emotion, sensation, state, and experience come
and go freely, without trying to analyze, neutralize,
overcome, get rid of, or do anything else with it.
To say that appearances are inseparable from awareness
is to recognize that they never appear outside
awareness. Thoughts, emotions, states, sensations, and
experiences always appear to awareness; they cannot
appear independently of (separate from) awareness.
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This becomes more obvious as we recognize awareness
as ever-present.
The Middle Way is another name for Living Realization.
It is the direct experience that things do not exist
separately—only conventionally. To say that a thing
exists conventionally means that it appears only in
relation to other things. It cannot exist on its own side,
apart from everything else. The appearance of a thing is
dependent upon thought, emotion, sensation,
awareness, and other appearances. The appearances are
seen to be like mirages—like reflections shimmering
upon the surface of water. They appear in their brilliant
uniqueness, but they have no independent nature. This
gives rise to the seeing that all things, being empty of
separate nature, are interdependent in conventional
existence.
15
CHAPTER ONE:
Recognizing Awareness
We start by relaxing into a direct, experiential introduction to
awareness. We recognize awareness as often as possible,
throughout the day, every day, until that recognition is
unshakable and uninterrupted. We recognize awareness
whenever we remember to do so. No matter what we are
doing—relaxing, walking, sitting, working, engaging in physical
exercise, or lying in bed at night—we take a moment to
recognize awareness.
In recognizing awareness in every experience, it dawns
on us that awareness is always and already present, regardless of
what is happening in our lives. This provides a peace and
stability that passes all understanding. In seeing that awareness
is ever-present, we realize that awareness is our real identity.
This naturally and effortlessly releases the tendency to identify
with the various appearances (including thoughts, emotions,
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sensations, states, and experiences) that come and go to
awareness.
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How to Recognize Awareness
1. Start with thought-free awareness
Stop and notice the next thought in your story. As that thought disappears,
rest as the thought-free space that is left. That is thought-free awareness.
As humans, we are accustomed to relying heavily on thoughts,
both for a sense of self and for information about others and
the world. This habitual tendency to rely on thought creates a
belief in separation. The more we rely on thought, the more it
really feels like each thought is pointing to a separate thing.
Suffering, seeking, and conflict arise from the belief in
separation. Personal suffering arises because we identify with
the thought stream in our minds. If that thought stream is
negative, we experience emotional and mental suffering. Even if
it seems to be positive, there can also be suffering as we try to
defend or protect that image when it feels threatened in some
way.
This belief system is also the root cause of seeking.
When we believe we are separate, we think of ourselves as
individual stories existing in time. At every point within the
story, we find ourselves in the middle of an unfinished movie
called “My Life.” The past feels incomplete, and it seems that
only the future can provide completion. This results in constant
seeking towards the future. We repeatedly chase future
happiness, but never seem to find contentment on any
permanent basis. In this sense of separation, we often see
ourselves as deficient in some way; “I’m not good enough,”
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“I’m not there yet,” “I’m unlovable,” “I’m inadequate,” or “I’m
unsafe.” This sense of deficiency causes us to seek and try to
control or change other people and situations, in some attempt
to fix the deficiency. As long as we identify with this core
deficiency story, we cannot find stable contentment, peace, love,
and completion.
This belief system is also the reason why we experience
conflict. Separation makes us feel cut off from other people and
from life itself; there is a sense of spatial separation. When we
feel like separate objects, we believe that other objects (including
people) have the power to threaten or diminish who we are.
This causes us to want to be right and to make others wrong.
For every right, there is a wrong; we claim the right for
ourselves and thus make our opponent (whomever we’re in
conflict with) wrong. In being right, we build ourselves up.
This protects the fragile self center—the ego—from feeling
diminished or threatened. Unfortunately, this is precisely why
we find ourselves in conflict.
For many of us, thoughts happen very quickly, one
after another, and carry such force or momentum that the
thought stream feels uncontrollable. There is a sense that we
can’t shut it off. Throughout the day, all sorts of judgments,
opinions, beliefs, mental positions, criticisms, and other
concepts come up. Our sense of self is invested in the thought
stream, and we consult it to know who and what we are.
Everything about our identities, including our names, history,
memories, beliefs, and worldviews, reside in the thought stream.
A great majority of our thoughts are self-centered. The self
center is the main object in our experience. In this method, we
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use the term self center to refer to the sense of being a separate
person in time and space. We’ll talk more about this in Chapter
Three: Thoughts.
Although we may experience a quieting of the mind
through this method, this is not about experiencing life in a
completely thought-free way. We don’t attempt to shut the
thought stream off permanently, nor could we. Thoughts are a
part of life. Once we no longer identify with them, and cease to
believe they are pointing to separate things, we are free to use
the functional, conventional aspect of thought. For example, we
talk to our friends, buy food at the grocery store, drive our cars,
pay our taxes, and teach our children—all impossible without
the capacity to think.
The point is to see through the belief in separation, not
get rid of thought. As that belief falls away, thought is seen to
be a valuable tool for living. It’s an inseparable appearance
within awareness, which means it is none other than awareness.
We’ll talk more about inseparability later.
Although getting rid of thought is not the ultimate
point, we encourage you to begin with thought-free awareness
so that your belief in separation is interrupted. This provides a
relaxation and release from the self center, the story of past,
present, and future that is constantly and uncontrollably playing
itself out in our heads.
Through recognizing thought-free awareness, we come
to see that we do not need to rely on thinking so much. We can
simply be, as awareness. This is the simplest and most effortless
way of living. We come to experience awareness as natural,
effortless, and ever-present. As we experience thought-free
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awareness, our stories are seen to be less important in our lives.
Therefore, self-centeredness naturally falls away. We come to
see awareness as our real identity. This recognition provides the
peace, freedom, wisdom, joy, and well-being we’ve been seeking
in our lives.
What is meant by the term ‘recognizing thought-free
awareness?’ Awareness is not just a word. The word
“awareness” points to the awareness that sees that thought and
every other thought. All thoughts (and other appearances)
come and go to a basic, thought-free awareness. Recognizing
this from the start goes a long way in avoiding confusion. It is
worth repeating our earlier explanation of thought-free
awareness:
Stop and notice the next thought in your story. As that thought disappears,
rest as the thought-free space that is left. That is thought-free awareness.
To “rest as the thought-free space” means to add no
more thoughts for a few seconds. This is referring to present
experience, as it is, without emphasizing viewpoints. If you
have some difficulty with this pointer, start with this simple
method: bring your attention to the felt sense of presence in
your chest or inner body. Notice that there is no thought there.
There is only a felt sense of presence. As you rest attention
there more and more often, the space seems to expand or at
least feel more accessible in your experience. It starts to
encompass more and more of your experience. You start to
notice that the space in your chest is also present in your legs,
your arms, and in your head. The voice in your head, playing
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one thought after the other, is seen to be happening within this
space. You notice that this space is what hears that voice. So
this space starts to feel more and more like the real you, as the
thoughts start to seem less and less like you. You even start to
notice that the spaciousness you are experiencing within your
body and mind is the same spaciousness outside your body and
mind.
The invitation here is to rest in thought-free awareness as often as
possible throughout the day, every day. Just take very brief moments at
first—three to five seconds at a time. But take those moments repeatedly.
Don’t wait to take a moment every hour or even every ten minutes. Rest as
often as you remember to do so, over and over. The moments naturally
become longer the more often you rest. You are resting into the present
moment as it is, without placing stories and labels on what is happening.
You begin to see that this thought-free space is present
wherever you go, no matter where you are. You notice it at
home, at work, in the company of others, and when you are
alone. You experience its natural peacefulness. It feels like
home. Make relaxing into this present, restful space the most
important thing in your life. Return there often until the return
becomes automatic. It will become automatic because the peace
within that space has a powerful pull to it.
If you forget what is meant by thought-free awareness,
simply return to this chapter and read the paragraphs above.
Mark this page, if necessary.
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2. What is awareness?
Awareness is the boundary-less, thought-free present space to
which everything comes and goes. As you rest often, it becomes
more obvious that appearances come and go to awareness. The
experience of boundaries arises by way of thoughts and mental
images, which are appearances. When a thought or mental
image appears, it seems to refer to a separate object that has a
boundary around it. Awareness is what sees or experiences that
thought or mental image. When the thought or mental image
disappears, the experience of that object existing as its own
separate thing disappears also.
Awareness is that which watches or hears the voice in
your head. While it may be helpful to use metaphors and
descriptions to get an experiential introduction to awareness, we
need to be clear—right from the start—that awareness cannot
be described or captured in words or mental pictures. The voice
in your head can only give you words and mental pictures.
Whatever words or pictures we come up with are merely
appearances to awareness. They come and go in a more basic
awareness. Try not to get too involved in intellectualizing about
what we mean by the word “awareness.” The most direct
approach is simply to rest, without thought, on a regular basis.
From that rest, it becomes easier to directly experience all words
and mental pictures as appearances that come and go to this
more basic awareness.
No one understands awareness. It is not a thing.
Remember: humans tend to rely heavily on thought. So the
tendency may be to try and understand the words of this chapter
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intellectually. We invite you to see that thought comes and goes
to awareness. Even great ideas and profound descriptions of
awareness are concepts that come and go to awareness. No
matter how deep or ridiculous our concepts are about ourselves,
friends, family, society, science, God, enlightenment, self-
realization, business, religion, philosophy, culture, politics, or
anything else, they all arise and fall temporarily to awareness.
When our eyes are open, we see colors, shapes, and
things; that’s visual seeing. If we close our eyes, all the colors,
shapes, and things disappear. Awareness is that which is present
and awake both to the things that appear when our eyes are
open and to the absence of those things when our eyes are
closed. Awareness remains ever present, while these internal
and external appearances arise and fall within its view. This is
why the recognition of awareness provides stability in our lives
on every level. We no longer feel that our sense of self is
wrapped up in the various temporary appearances that come
and go.
It may also be helpful to refer to the word “being”
instead of awareness. It is difficult to refute the simple fact of
ever-present being. Regardless of the word we choose to call it,
find out what aspect of your existence never comes and goes.
Thoughts, emotions, sensations, states, experiences, objects,
colors, sounds, and all other phenomena come and go. The
simple fact of being remains present and here, no matter what
comes and goes. That is awareness.
Awareness is an ever-present seeing. It happens only in
the space of this moment. Awareness cannot be recognized by
referring to past experiences or by projecting forward into a
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future moment when you hope you will be able to recognize
awareness more clearly. Thoughts of the past and future come
and go to awareness. If you find yourself emphasizing thoughts
of the past and future, simply let them come to rest. Recognize
the thought-free awareness that is automatically and effortlessly
present as those thoughts come to rest.
Take a moment right now and recognize awareness.
Keep it simple and let all ideas drop away for one moment. Let
all the ideas you have ever learned about yourself, others, the
world, and awareness come to rest right now.
Just recognize what is timelessly awake and looking.
Forget everything that you’ve read in this text thus far. Drop it
all and look into the present fact of your own being. This
thought-free awareness has been there all your life. It is the only
thing about you that has never come and gone. Many concepts
have come and gone. Many emotions, sensations, states, and
experiences have come and gone. Throughout it all, this
awareness has always been here.
As you rest in the here and now, if a thought arises,
observe it directly and watch it disappear from view. Just let it
fall away and rest again as thought-free awareness. There is no
need to think about or analyze any of the words on this page.
Awareness is more akin to the white page on which this text
appears than any pointer that appears on it. Now drop that
pointer too! In fact, as you read the rest of this book,
periodically just take moments in which you forget what the text
is saying. Just relax and rest in thought-free awareness, allowing
all appearances to come and go freely, without emphasizing
them. Then return to the words, or not. The value of this book
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is not in memorizing its words, but rather in seeing that they
point to what you are in the most basic sense. It is important to
recognize awareness in your own direct experience.
Awareness is so immediately here and present in all
situations that it repeatedly gets overlooked as we focus on our
personal story and other words and mental pictures appearing to
awareness. What is here that never moves or changes, that
never comes and goes? You may have a tendency to overlook
this basic awareness, getting drawn into the appearances that
come and go, such as objects, thoughts, emotions, sensations,
states, and experiences. If you find this happening, be easy on
yourself. Just stop, whenever you notice that happening, and
recognize the basic, thought-free awareness that is inseparable
from the present moment. Do this as often as possible, until it
is seen that awareness is ever-present.
Awareness is always available, no matter what is
happening in our lives. We do not make recognizing awareness
into a practice that we only do at certain times of the day.
Treating the recognition of awareness in this way tends to
compartmentalize life. This is not a “spiritual” practice done at
certain times while you live in the “real world” for the rest of
the day. Awareness is present during work, during time with the
family, and every other place and time in our lives. We do not
recognize awareness only when we are in peaceful places or free
from the daily stress of our busy lives. We “check in” with
awareness in all situations. We recognize awareness when things
are going well and when life is going badly. We just take a
moment, no matter where we are or what we are doing. We
Recognizing Awareness
26
drop all of our labels about the situation that is presently
happening and we discover for ourselves that awareness is here.
Take a moment now and try this. Drop even the words
“awareness,” “presence,” “being” and any other pointer you
have read in this text or in another teaching. Let the present
sentence being spoken by the voice in your head come to rest.
Don’t look back at what you’ve just read. Let all thoughts come
to rest. Simply rest here for a moment. Just be, without any
thoughts. Take a moment.
3. Is recognizing thought-free awareness a practice?
This depends on the person, and may be different for everyone.
Some people need only one taste of recognizing thought-free
awareness, as that first taste reveals to them that awareness is
their real identity. They do not need to continue visiting or
returning to the recognition of awareness. From that point
forward, awareness is seen to be ever-present and all
appearances are seen to come and go effortlessly and
inseparably to awareness.
Others may need to repeatedly take brief moments of
recognizing thought-free awareness, returning to it again and
again until it has stabilized and is experienced as ever-present. If
you need to take these brief moments, notice that the experience
may last for only a few seconds the first few times. You have
tasted awareness. That’s all we are asking you to do in the
beginning. We invite you to experience thought-free awareness
as often as possible throughout the day, every day, no matter
where you are or what you are doing.
Living Realization
27
The momentum of thinking can be so strong at first
that all you can do is take brief moments. But as you take more
and more of these moments, continuing to rest in thought-free
awareness very often throughout the day, the moments naturally
get longer and longer. It becomes naturally easier to rest more
often. At some point, it stops feeling like a practice that you are
doing. Awareness is seen to be ever-present—not something
you visit, not something you practice, but what you are in the
deepest sense.
This simple practice of repeatedly taking brief moments
to recognize awareness provides rest from constant thinking,
and puts you in the perfect position to begin seeing that you do
not have to identify with all the thoughts, emotions, sensations,
states, and experiences that come and go temporarily to
awareness. It also places you in the perfect position to begin to
really look into your experience and see whether separation is
real or not. We will talk more about seeing through separation
in the coming chapters.
Perhaps the best way of pointing to awareness is to say
that it is our capacity to be aware. By speaking of it as a
capacity, there may be less of a tendency to think of it as
something that lies beneath, behind, or beyond all appearances.
All descriptions of awareness, including that it lies “beneath,”
“behind,” or “beyond,” come and go to our basic capacity to be
aware. This capacity is not anything that is observed or that
appears. It is that to which descriptions and appearances come
and go. Stop right now and notice this! Rest, for a few seconds,
without thought. Be alert to colors, light, sounds, sensations,
and emotions without labeling them. Just notice. When
Recognizing Awareness
28
thought arises, notice that it is arising. That is the recognition of
awareness.
Living Realization
29
Tools for Recognizing Awareness
1. Center of the room
Sit in the middle of a room in a chair that you can rotate. Start
by looking at only one wall. Notice all the objects that appear as
you look at that wall. External objects, such as colors, textures,
lines, lamps, doors, pictures, and so on will seem to be there, but
notice that you cannot register separate objects until thought
arises. No object is announcing itself as a separate thing.
Thought does all the announcing.
In order for a lamp to appear as its own separate thing,
the word “lamp” or some other mental description or image
must arise to that which is cognizing i.e., to awareness. Things
are thoughts, first and foremost. Notice that thought is a so-
called internal object. Thoughts seem to happen internally,
within the mind. Without thoughts appearing internally, you
cannot experience separate objects externally; there is nothing
“out there” in the room that has its own separate nature.
Stated another way, when the thought “lamp” arises or
a mental image of the lamp arises in your mind, your attention
focuses down on one area, as if that area—a lamp—is its own
separate thing. As that thought or mental image disappears,
relax into thought-free awareness for a few seconds. Relax in an
open, unfocused way, taking in the entire experience of the
present moment but without labeling anything. In this view,
there is only a seamless tapestry of experience, without
individual forms. Thought creates the notion of things existing
independently out there. See that all appearances, whether
Recognizing Awareness
30
internal or external, are appearing to awareness. Throughout
the day, the appearances are constantly changing and coming
and going. Yet awareness does not move or change. It does
not come and go. It is always present and awake to the coming
and going of everything.
Test this out by rotating your chair to the next wall,
then to the next wall, and then the next. As you face each wall,
completely new appearances come up. New thoughts or mental
images appear, which name new objects out there, such as
“chair,” “picture,” and “door.” As you move from wall to wall,
the only aspect of experience that remains unchanged is the
cognizing space to which all of these appearances come and go.
That space is awareness, and it is the only constant in your life.
Now try the same experiment outside. This basic, cognizing
awareness is also present when you are outside. Even though
the appearances are different—perhaps a road, some trees, some
new thoughts, sensations, or emotions—awareness is still there,
unchanged. It is always present, no matter where you are or
what you are doing.
When you are clear that all things, both internal and
external, are appearing to the same awareness, see that
“internal” and “external” are also just thoughts, appearing and
disappearing within awareness.
Living Realization
31
2. Two objects
Locate two separate objects, at least three feet apart, in the room
where you’re sitting. You can use anything—a lamp, desk,
plant, computer, or whatever else is around. Let’s call them
object A and object B. Notice that the eyes can only focus on
one object at a time. You can go back and forth between A and
B, but you cannot direct your attention to both objects at once.
You can only oscillate back and forth between the two objects.
First A, then B, then back to A, and then back to B.
Now stop focusing on one object at a time. Instead,
pull back (so to speak) and recognize yourself as the relaxed,
thought-free, unfocused awareness that is aware of the whole
room at once. Just sit and be, without emphasizing any
concepts about the room, yourself, any object in the room, or
anything else. Just be the thought-free space in which the
moment is happening. Notice that the present moment is
inseparable from the awareness that is experiencing the present
moment. Notice that when you are resting as awareness in this
way, the room feels like one seamless tapestry of colors, light,
shades, and shapes. Without thought, there are no separate
objects like “chair” or “floor.”
Now allow a thought to arise about some object in the
room, perhaps a chair. Let’s say the chair is brown, with a
round shape. As the thought “chair” arises, the eyes focus on
the chair. Or the reverse happens. As the eyes focus in that
direction, thought arises. The chair, as an apparent separate
object, arises when the thought “chair” arises. This is revealing
Recognizing Awareness
32
that the mind makes objects through thinking. We do not
experience separate objects until the mind gets involved.
If you are like most people, your thoughts are racing,
one right after the other. This leads you to believe the world is
made of separate things that are just lying around, whether you
are thinking about them or not. Many people have this sense
that thought is just mirroring or representing what is already
“out there” in the world. But without thought, there are no
separate objects out there. See that all the objects you believe
you see are, first and foremost, concepts. Even basic things like
colors, light, shades, and shapes in the room are concepts or
mental impressions. For example, to know something is blue,
the memory of blue must present itself as a thought. “Blue” is a
concept. Everything you see arises by way of concepts. Stated
another way, individual things (along with their descriptive
features) appear only when thoughts are present.
3. Looking from the space
Look in the mirror. Notice that there is a form staring back. In
the reflection, you can clearly see a physical form with eyes, a
nose, a mouth, ears, and hair. Then walk away from the mirror.
Notice that now there is only space looking outward from
behind your face. In that area where the reflection showed a
physical form, there is now only space looking outward at the
world. From this view, looking outward from behind the face,
there is no form. There is no face. There are no eyes, nose,
mouth, ears, or hair. There is only spacious awareness looking
at the world.
Living Realization
33
What you usually take to be a solid, separate form (the
face in the mirror) is really spacious awareness. Notice that the
entire world appears in that spacious awareness from which we
are looking. See that there is no division between that space and
the world that is appearing in it. If a division or boundary line
appears, it is because a thought is appearing. The most
prevalent thoughts are “me” and “my body.” Notice that when
it seems as if you are “in there” (in the body) witnessing a
separate world “out there,” some subtle thought or mental
image is appearing. It may be just the thought “I” or your
name. It may be an image of your body appearing in the mind,
very subtly. Just find it. Look directly at that thought or mental
image as it appears in your mind. In noticing it directly, it falls
away. As it falls away, rest as thought-free awareness. Now
there is no boundary or dividing line between you (awareness)
and the world that is appearing within awareness. There is no
inside separate from the outside.
4. Emotions and sensations
As an emotion or sensation appears, no matter whether it is
positive or negative, notice the space around it. Relax any
mental label that arises to describe it (i.e., fear, tightness, etc).
When an emotion or sensation arises, simply observe that it is
raw energy. And then relax even that label.
Notice the viewpoints that desire to label, analyze, or
get rid of the raw energy. Emphasizing these viewpoints leaves
us in a state of constantly wanting to feel better. That is seeking.
In noticing these viewpoints, but not emphasizing them, they
Recognizing Awareness
34
naturally disappear. You can then rest as awareness more easily,
letting the emotion be as it is, without labeling it or telling a
story about it. Although thoughts may have an agenda to do
something with the emotion or sensation, that which is
cognizing the emotion or sensation (i.e., awareness) has no such
agenda.
If, while allowing an emotion or sensation to be as it is,
you begin to subtly experience awareness as a field or space with
boundaries, remember this principle: whenever you experience
or even subtly sense that awareness has a boundary or border of
any kind, notice that the boundary or border is a subtle mental
image or outline. Let that image or outline appear and disappear
to the awareness that cognizes it.
Emotions and sensations can seem to have boundaries
around them. Those boundaries are also subtle mental pictures.
Observe those pictures directly and you can see this. All mental
pictures are temporary. By not observing these appearances
directly, it can appear that these emotions and sensations are
stuck in a body—stuck inside these pictures. Observing the
mental pictures directly allows them to morph or dissolve on
their own. The energy can then move more naturally, without
the sense of being stuck somewhere. To let emotions and
sensations arise and fall without thoughts and pictures being
projected on them has a profound healing effect. We begin to
identify less and less with emotions and sensations.
Living Realization
35
5. Recognizing silence
No matter where we go, what we do, or what sounds are arising,
silence is always here, underneath the noise of life. There is a
quietness here that is overlooked as the mind searches for the
next thought, the next state, or the next experience. This silence
cannot be known by thinking about it. It can only be
experienced through resting in thought-free awareness. This
silence is a doorway to recognizing awareness.
There is silence “inside” the body and “outside” the
body. It is undivided silence. Simply notice silence throughout
the day whenever possible. This is the same as resting in
thought-free awareness. Recognize yourself as that silence first.
Then see that awareness is that which is aware even of the
silence itself. Notice that every sound seems to arise out of the
silence and fall back into it. See that even the word “silence” is
a concept. Drop that concept and just be, without thought, as
often as possible.
6. Locating awareness
In each of the experiments so far, it may seem like we’re
pointing to an awareness that is located in the body or in the
mind, as if it is emanating out of your eyes. There is a tendency
when reading these words to believe that awareness has a
location. This belief accompanies the assumption that
awareness is my awareness and that other people have their own
“awarenesses.” Let’s look at this more closely.
Recognizing Awareness
36
Awareness is not a thing. It is not an object. Only
objects appear to have location. Awareness is more like space.
It is not possible to locate space in one place rather than
another. The word “space” here is just a pointer. Let it point
you to the realization that your basic essence is undivided,
boundary-less awareness.
This undivided space has no location. Location appears
when thought appears. In order to even contemplate the notion
that awareness resides within the body and mind, there must be
a subtle mental image or outline of a body and mind that
appears. It’s often very subtle, more like an assumption, but it’s
there. Just notice it when it appears. Notice that whatever sees
that thought is non-locatable awareness. In noticing the thought
that attempts to locate space somewhere specific, that thought
or image comes to rest. You realize that what is noticing the
thought or image is not a thought or image. That which is
noticing is awareness. In simply resting for one moment,
completely free of thought, it is seen that space cannot be
located and is not located anywhere. This should help clear up
the notion that awareness is located only in the body and mind.
Absolutely everything you can think of, including body,
mind, mom, city, Earth, cup, chair, justice, evil, good, and bad as
well as everything mentioned in this chapter, including the
words “space” and “awareness,” is coming and going to that
which sees those things. That which sees everything is
awareness.
Living Realization
37
A Final Note about Chapter One
We encourage you to spend some time with the simple practice
of recognizing thought-free awareness, before moving on to the
next chapters. This can be a powerful, life-transforming way of
investigating the nature of your present experience. It’s a way of
seeing that there is awareness prior to thought, even though you
have always believed yourself to be the thought-based story in
your mind. That story has told you that you are a separate self
in a world of separate things. Through recognizing awareness,
that story is seen to be something that arises and falls within
awareness.
Recognizing thought-free awareness releases the belief
in separation. It helps us to no longer identify with certain
thought structures that repeatedly play in the mind, causing
suffering, seeking, and conflict. When we see that things are not
really objective, separate things at all, and that they arise only by
way of thoughts, a natural relaxation happens. Life begins to
flow more freely. We come to see that all we really have to do is
to allow all viewpoints to come and go, without emphasizing
them for a sense of self or for truth. The tension, stress, and
resistance in our lives naturally release in this realization.
Everything is allowed to be just as it is. We experience ongoing
joy, acceptance, and forgiveness. We find a basic wisdom and
peace at the core of our experience. We find exactly what we’ve
been looking for all our lives—freedom from the sense of
limitation, from the sense of being separate individuals cut off
from others, experience, and life itself.
Recognizing Awareness
38
Before moving to the next chapters, it is helpful to have
an experiential introduction to awareness. What does
“experiential” mean? It means that you should have more than
an intellectual understanding that awareness is ever-present.
You should be experiencing many moments throughout the day
where awareness is directly recognized as the basic, cognizing,
thought-free, open space of the present moment. This direct
experience is helpful as a preparation for the discussion of
appearances and objects in the next chapters.
If you have difficulty in recognizing thought-free
awareness even after taking up the practice in this chapter, be
easy on yourself! Some people experience this difficulty. Simply
move on to the next chapters, which investigate the appearances
that come and go. As you begin noticing these temporary
appearances, and letting them all be as they are without
manipulating them, it becomes easier to recognize the awareness
to which the appearances are coming and going.
Living Realization
39
Chapter One: Summary
Awareness is the basic capacity to be aware. It is that to which
all appearances such as thoughts, emotions, sensations, states,
and experiences temporarily come and go.
To recognize awareness means to experience awareness as
always present. It is always here, no matter what is happening
or what we are doing. Everything that happens in life is a
temporary appearance, coming and going to ever-present
awareness. Even the notion of being a separate person is an
appearance to awareness.
Start with thought-free awareness. Stop and notice the next
thought. As that thought disappears, rest as the thought-free
space that is left. For a few seconds, don’t add another thought.
Enjoy the space of no-thought. That is thought-free awareness.
It is present experience, as it is, without viewpoints.
Stick with this simple practice at first: take brief moments of
resting as thought-free awareness repeatedly throughout the day,
every day. How brief? At first, just three to five seconds at a
time. Keep it that simple! How often? Do it as often as you
can. Make resting as awareness your top priority. Do it
repeatedly. As you do it more and more, the moments naturally
become longer. It becomes natural and automatic to rest as
awareness in all situations.
40
ABOUT:
Scott Kiloby
Scott Kiloby is an international
speaker and the author of Reflections of
the One Life: Daily Pointers to
Enlightenment, Love’s Quiet Revolution:
The End of the Spiritual Search, Doorway
to Total Liberation: Conversations with
What Is, and the companion book to
this one, Living Relationship: Finding
Harmony With Others. He is also the creator of an addiction
recovery method called Natural Rest. His book on this method
is called The Natural Rest Method: A Revolutionary, Simple Way to
Overcome Addiction.
Scott travels all over the world giving talks in which
those attending experience nondual presence. In these
meetings, every position and belief gets challenged. This leaves
those attending completely open to allow the present moment
to unfold in a new way, free of identification with thought. The
point of the meetings is to allow people to go home and
discover for themselves the freedom Scott’s message is pointing
to.
Scott is simplifying and demystifying the message of
enlightenment or non-duality. He reaches out to people who
are suffering or seeking or cannot seem to find fulfillment in this
Living Realization
41
life no matter where they go or what they do. He communicates
that freedom is available and that it is actually contained in their
very presence, yet it is overlooked.
Connect with Scott:
www.livingrealization.org
www.kiloby.com
www.doorwaytoliberation.com
https://twitter.com/#!/Scottkiloby
http://www.facebook.com/kiloby
42
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
This book was truly a labor of love. Thanks to everyone in my
life, too many to name, who acted as teachers reflecting back my
own story of deficiency so that I could see through it. Special
thanks to Curt King, Fiona Robertson, and Chad Sewich.
43
TESTIMONIALS
“It may be that from your perspective, you don’t see all of the
enormous value and benefit you bring to so many. I have
partaken of countless pages of writings, videos, audios, etc. but
what you have shared with the world is in a whole different
league. It’s an actual, applicable, practical, doable, experiential-
changing offering.”
“After a lifetime of moving from one spiritual belief system to
another [in Non-Duality teachings], I’ve discovered a genuine,
non-dogmatic invitation to wake up from the dream of seeking
and instead to live in the powerful presence of what is. Scott is
one of the most down-to-earth, accessible and honest teachers
I’ve met. Working with him continues to alter my experience of
life profoundly. I’m able to glimpse a quality of Being that has
nothing to do with circumstances.”
“Living Realization is truly different: it is as much of a “how-to”
manual as is possible with this kind of material. Despite the
limitation of words, the paradox of duality, and the futility of
trying to explain “how” to realize no-self, the approach of LR
succeeds more than any other book I’ve encountered (including
Scott’s other books). Finally, a clear writing which guides the
reader to let go of and see through the reader…step-by-step.”
Testimonials
44
“Our group finished the [Living Realization] book today. That
last chapter is a very clear summation—quite powerful
actually…thank you for your willingness to be the vehicle for
this clarity on awareness and inseparability. You are one of the
few that is able to see this and explain it. The Middle Way is so
freeing.”
“When I read your book—Living Realization, I could not skip
over any part of that book. I mean, I would’ve liked too. It is so
packed full of wonderful stuff. I’ve read fifteen books in the last
fifteen weeks and there was nothing in there that I didn’t think
was useful. It was one of the most enlightening books I’ve ever
read…really. I think it’s a masterpiece!”
“I have been meditating and reading books on non-duality and
Eastern philosophy for many years. The writing of Scott Kiloby
is the most direct, articulate and carefully worded expression of
liberation from suffering that I have encountered.”
45
ADDITIONAL TITLES:
Available from the Kiloby Group
Living Relationship: Finding Harmony With Others
Scott Kiloby
Love’s Quiet Revolution: The End of the Spiritual Search
Scott Kiloby
Reflections of the One Life: Daily Pointers to Enlightenment
Scott Kiloby
The Natural Rest Method: A Revolutionary, Simple Way to Overcome
Addiction
Scott Kiloby
Doorway to Total Liberation: Conversations With ‘What Is’
Scott Kiloby
AVAILABLE AT:
www.doorwaytoliberation.com
www.livingrealization.org
www.amazon.com