AMCstudents Parent CUE Entourage: Week One (4/8/14) We’re Teaching This: When we hear the word entourage, most of us think of celebrities walking the streets of Beverly Hills, barking orders at their “people”. By definition, an entourage is a group of people attending or surrounding an important person. Even if we don’t feel important, most of us want at least a handful of people who like to hang around us—people who laugh at our jokes, go to the movies, and have our back. King David, his son Absalom, and his grandson Rehoboam were no different. Each had an entourage and through them we see that the choices we make with those around us can change everything.
Think About This: A quick Internet search reveals the worries many parents feel when it comes to their teen’s friends. “How to spot a bully”… “A bad influence”… “The wrong crowd”. There is plenty to worry about when it comes to your child’s friends. But what if you have more influence than you think? What if you were able to not only help your teen choose friends, but to directly influence the life choices those friends make? More and more studies say you can.
A study published in the archives of Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine suggests that teens with friends who have strict parents are less likely to binge drink and make other poor life choices.
Think about that. The students in this study were most influenced by their friends’ parents, not just their friends. In fact, you probably don’t need a lot of research to know this. Have you ever heard someone say, “She is like a second mother to me”? Probably so. Many of us grew up with at least one set of friend’s parents who influenced us. Part of maturing is beginning to listen to multiple voices, multiple adult influences. As parents we have an incredible opportunity to speak into our own children’s lives by using our influence to guide their friends.
Having influence on your child’s friends doesn’t mean you have to be the “cool one”. It doesn’t mean you have to host or allow parties and be their best buddy. It also doesn’t mean you have the legally adopt them or have them over every night. Having influence is as simple as taking one step toward including a friend in your normal plans.
• Invite them in. Invite your teen’s friends to spend time at your house. You don’t have to do anything special or make a five star dinner. For a lot of students, the concept of a normal (even boring) family dinner is almost unimaginable. Simply being in a home with someone other than their own parents can offer them a different perspective on things like marriage, work, family, and decision-‐making. So don’t feel the need to put on a show or have the most fun house on the block. Just allow someone else to be a part of it.
• Invest in them. Invest time and energy in your teen’s friends. Talk with them, ask questions, and listen. Teens are often more likely to open up to other parents than their own. Do you know how to fix a car, bake a cake, fish, play tennis, or scrapbook? Show them! The best conversations take place while working on something. They’ll appreciate the skill and your own teen is more likely to join if their friends are involved.
Try This Think about the friends your teen already spends time around. How intentional are you about investing time in those people? Is there one teen you could invite to dinner, to hang out, or to be helpful? Use the boxes below to help you figure out how you can be intentional with your teen’s friends.
My teen spends the most time with… 1._____________________ 2.______________________ 3._____________________
One friend I can pray for this week
is
_______________________
One friend I can
invite and invest in this month is
______________________