2

Q1.) Favourite Floor excluding your current one?

MDH

Q2.) If you weren’t in Nursing, what would you be doing?

Tattoo Artist

Q3.) 3 words to describe your job with the LHSA

Pls help me

Q4.) Who’s your favourite LHSA Exec?

I love them all equally. Such a hardworking and passionate group of individuals

Q5.) If you were an animal, which one would you be?

A Sloth

Q6.) Favourite cocktail?

Long island iced tea

Q7.) Caf pizza or doms?

Doms all the way!!

Q.8) Go to doms order?

Medium pep + ranch cup

Q.9) What’s your hidden talent?

I can fist my ENTIRE FIST in my mouth. Does this count? I’m also really good at ruining my life (jk memes)

Q.10) What song makes you cry?

I need some sleep– Eels. That song hits me right in the feels.

Q.11) Who do you snapchat the most?

My “thots’ groupchat.

Q.12) When are you planning on watching the Lord of the Rings trilogy?

NEVER

Q.13) Favourite dodgeball player?

I recent met Wesley on my team. He’s so sweet and good at the game. The perfect embodiment of the four pillars.

Sarman Bhullar

18 Questions-President Edition (Nicole Inglis)

3

Q14.) If you could move any dodgeball player to your floor, who would it be?

Sarman so he can pull me to the backwall in doctor like he pulls me through life. ilu

Q15.) Favourite Disney Movie?

Monsters Inc

Q16.) Favourite Disney Song?

You’ve got a friend in me from toy story

Q17.) Your favourite quote?

“Sometimes you yeet life and life yeets you.”

Q18.) Your Rice Purity Test?

19! Welp !!

Get your own Rice purity test at:

http://ricepuritytest.com/

4

Ever wondered why Main Dungeon Henday seems to be obsessed with a chicken?

Well, Carl the Cock was originally 7K’s mascot and they like the cock. However, MDH LOVES THE

COCK. You probably already know this because they can’t stop yelling it out! MDH started stealing

the cock decades ago and brought him to their dodgeball games. They also made Carl the Cock a tin-

der account so make sure to super like when you see him!

There are strict rules when it comes to cock stealing; stealers have to be 7K or MDH members ONLY.

Carl must be kept in his case at all times (he has broken out a few times, no need to fret as he’s very

resilient and always makes a full recovery). On multiple occasions Carl has been hurt. He always

comes out of a sticky situation thanks to the FCs who take out the time to restore Carl and his cage.

So if you see someone taking Carl, just let it happen as you can always steal him back. Carl only

hangs out in public areas such as the kitchen, lounge and the neutral bathroom on dungeon. He just

loves people! Last year 7K had Carl the most and MDH mostly just stole it for their dodgeball games

and on 3am drunken adventures, but this year MDH has had Carl most of the time. We’ll see how the

rest of the year plays out. If you are ever on 7K or MDH make sure to say hi to Carl!

Alexis Jones

Floor History: 7K, MDH, and THE COCK!

5

*Please Play “On the pure and the damned” by Oneohtrix Point*

It’s that time of year. The leaves are falling, classes are in full swing, and you find yourself wading through a mess of dust-induced filth. “What!” you yell as someone tells you that housekeeping does not cover your private domicile. This is new information, you need a new game plan for the year. How in the hell does someone clean a room? Begrudgingly you walk out to the lounge and pick up the floor copy of The Lighthouse to clear your mind and begin to flip through. Something catches your eye, “Vacuum rentals? Easier than you think.” Your mind is blank, unable to comprehend if there is actually a divine being watching over you, holding your hand in these times of peril, feeding you the information you crave.

You scan over the paragraphs in your hands. The article tells you in simplistic terms,

“You may rent vacuums during tower VP office hours.”

It is treating you like a child, and you do not like that. However, you need this, your roommate has begun to leave passive-aggressive notes on your bed when you get home from class. You continue reading for the sake of your sanity.

“All that is required of you is a $20 cash deposit and your Onecard, as well as returning it within the tower VP’s office hours as you will risk having your deposit withheld.”

The audacity.

“My hard earned guala??? Being taken by our ineffective governance??”

You throw The Lighthouse in the trash (you can’t risk anyone else having this knowledge) and walk to Nicholas William Bombardieri’s office. As you enter the room you are overcome with sweet sum-mer scents and the fine aroma of Cuban cigars.

“Hello, my son” he says in his low, seductive timbre that echoes through your soul.

“What do you need, in these trying times”

You are taken aback. It is as though he is the spirit who has guided you since the beginning. You open your mouth, but you are incapable of vocalization.

Zach Hansen

Vacuum Rentals? Easier than you think!

6

“I know what you want”. He shuffles through a stack of paper, acting as though he had not been pre-paring for hours. While handing you a sheet of paper with the title “Vacuum Rental Terms” he gives you a small, kitten-like smile. It moves something deep within you, but you ignore it.

“I’m on a mission” you tell yourself.

He hands you another sheet, to which he tells you to sign and date. He sends you on your way to clean your room. You smile to yourself. It’s funny really, a process so simple creating such a large change in your home. You’re cleaning, and it feels good. You want to clean more, as though it is a worm in your brain, becoming an obsession.

No. You stop yourself, returning the vacuum in time for to receive your full deposit.

7

Me again! If you read the last edition of the Lighthouse you may have noticed my food review of

Seoul Fried Chicken. An amazing and fairly cheap place to eat located on Whyte Ave. For this edition

I’ll be reviewing some food from a restaurant by the name of Meat.

Meat is a neat and clean place on Whyte Ave, it’s located at 8216 104 St NW.

The food there is refreshing to say the least, especially

with the new meal plan. I constantly go out for brunch

there on the weekends. I’m there more often this year

because the cafeteria in Lister doesn’t serve breakfast

late. Last year they served breakfast on the weekends

until 2pm, something I miss. Each and every time I’m

at Meat I realize that I should be going there more of-

ten.

When I do go I usually order the chicken & waffles,

which is priced at $16. I also either get a mimosa or a

water. This prices me at about $20-27 with a tip. I can say for sure that the chicken and waffles fills

me up entirely and is delicious. Every time I eat there it brightens my mood and comparing it to the

breakfast in Lister it outclasses it by far. The menu has a variety of different items that are great. I’ve

also had the Meat Breakfast and Beef Breakfast Benny w/hashbrowns. I’m never disappointed with

the experience. I always go with a group of friends that make the experience of the restaurant a great

time.

John Roche (duh)

John Tastes MEAT!

8

Who else is sipping on pumpkin spice lattés and cozying up in fluffy sweaters? Or is the norm

nowadays Duke’s beer and dodgeball hoodies? Either way, we seemed to have skipped right over fall

when an inch of snow got dumped on our heads in the middle of September; but you know what’s

not getting skipped over? Halloween!

Okay, okay, so it’s still technically September, but we’re all busy students with plenty of dead-

lines to remember. Wouldn’t want Halloween to sneak up on you and all of a sudden, the only cos-

tume you can get is a ghost made out of white sheets. Speaking of costumes that no one wants, let’s

have a quick talk about cultural appropriation! This can become a very long and tiresome topic, but

here’s the short version: don’t wear culturally significant clothing as a costume! That’s all there is to

it! Want to dress up as Pocahontas? Awesome, paint it with all the colours of the wind. Want to wear

a feathered headdress because it looks cool? Nah, just don’t do it. It’s a very symbolic ceremonial re-

galia worn by warriors and chiefs, not used for quirky Halloween costumes.

For most people, Halloween is just a fun time to party, get some candy, and have fun! But if

you’re really looking to blow everyone away with a cool costume this year, here are some favorites:

Daenerys Targaryen (bonus points if you have three dragons that follow you around)

Black Panther

Demogorgon

Man in Black (any Westworld fans? Listen, if you choose this one, no real guns please)

A giant penis

if you’re going for the “Scariest Costume of 2018 Award”, be a real one and dress up as Sarman

Bhullar

Legend has it if you shout “LEFT ARM” enough times down the halls of 9 Henday on Hallow-

een night, VP Finance & Administration, Wahab Khadeli, will appear and be contractually obligat-

ed to give you candy. Anyway, have fun, get drunk, scare some people, and stay safe Lister!

Tina Tai (duh)

Tina Talks Costumes for Halloween

9

What’s cracking, homies? I know that I’m cracking books as I head into midterm season next week!

As a second year who’s probably written close to a dozen midterms over the last year (#flex), I’ve

learned to develop smart study habits. One of my smart study habits is to not go to Duke’s the night

before my Stats 151 midterm. You may choose whether to follow this advice or not, but I suggest

you take it, unless you crave death. Anyway, I’m writing this article to share some major keys to

ensure a successful, stress-free exam season!

Major key #1: manage your time efficiently. My dad’s most famous (and most irritating)

phrase is, “get it scheduled, get it organized and get it done.” Much to my annoyance, I must admit

that this is some of the wisest advice I’ve been given. Organizing my time has eliminated a lot of in-

essential stress, which has enabled me to perform better. Create a schedule and stick to it! During

the semester, I like to divide up my work into smaller chunks over a longer time period. This allows

me time to learn the material in detail. Additionally, learning information little by little helps me to

retain information in my long-term memory. Leaving everything to the last minute is an ineffec-

tive approach. Cramming does not provide us with the necessary time to consolidate and encode

concepts. In other words, information that is crammed will be stored in our short-term memory, so

when you try to retrieve the information later, it will be more difficult to access. Budgeting our

time allows our brains to retain crucial knowledge so we can shoot for that A!

Major key #2: know what the course you are studying for requires. I’m in psychology, so I

know that most of my courses require memorizing the material. Consequently, I will read the text-

book and rewrite my notes in class to get a grasp on the concepts. As exams approach, I will make

cue cards to memorize definitions and theories, as well as put together a study guide of all the learn-

ing objectives. The learning objectives stated at the beginning of each chapter in the textbook is usu-

ally tested in exams. Assembling a study guide consisting of the learning objectives helps me to con-

nect all the concepts. This creates a bigger picture of the whole!

Major key #3: write practice tests. Professors occasionally provide practice questions on

eClass, but most of the time, it’s not enough. Practice tests are an amazing study tool—they provide

you with feedback about the concepts you know, or alternatively, what you might need to review

more. In addition to that, exams are stressful! Pacing ourselves on practice test questions will help us

to feel more comfortable in an exam environment. You can obtain access to an exam registry on the

InfoLink website. If you can’t find an exam for your course in the registry, don’t be afraid to ask your

prof! Profs want to see you succeed. They work for you! Also, profs are required to release past mate-

rial for students to review. They legally cannot screw you over.

Emma Monaghan

How to get a 4.0 GPA

10

Major key #4: find a quiet area to study. I don’t know about you guys, but I can’t study in the

lounge. There’s too much going on for me to get in the zone. I recommend going to quiet areas in

Cameron or Rutherford library. There are no distractions, therefore it’s easier to maximize produc-

tivity. Find what works for you! On that note, I personally can’t study with other people because I

just end up chatting with them too much. However, some people find that study buddies keep them

accountable by dragging them somewhere to study. Everyone is different!

Major key #5: use a calendar or planner! Calendars have legit saved my ass this year. They

help me to keep track of upcoming events, exams and assignment deadlines. Every night before I go

to bed, I look at my calendar so that I know what to expect the next day. As assignment deadlines ap-

proach, I begin writing the deadlines in red pen.

There you have it, kids! My major keys for this season. My life revolves around increasing efficiency,

so I like to think that I’m an expert at staying organized (#humblebrag). Hopefully this article will

provide you with some motivation to succeed this semester. If not, that’s okay—my optimism for the

future disappeared when I had to write six term papers in one month. Ah, to be young and full of

childlike enthusiasm… I’m 19 now, so that means I’m a grandma. Anyway, remember this quote for

the duration of the year: “shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.” Good

luck!

11

Zachary Bruce

Who’s who of the Ancient People in Lister

So, most people who live in Lister are first years. Most floor positions are held by second years, some

of them are held by third years. But then there is something even rarer. The fourth year in Lister. By

the end of this year they will have their Lister degree. They are prehistoric compared to the rest of

Lister. They remember the old, old, old meal plan. They remember a time without Chalifoux, and

where Mack wasn’t under construction. A time with beach volleyball courts in Lister and a parking

lot behind Mac. They even remember a time without the LHSA. Here are some Fourth years that can

you say hi to around Lister.

Thomas Stambulic

Floor: Main Kelsey

Position: RA

Program: Pharmacy

Quote: Hard work beats talent if talent doesn’t work hard

Dary Chen

Floor: 10 Schäffer

Position: VP Schäffer

Program: Biology

Quote: For the past 4 years, Lister is my family. It has

provided me with ups and downs, but the people have always been the ups

Marc Gagne

Floor: 11 Schäffer

Position: Liaison

Program: Mechanical Engineering

Quote: Odds are you are here for an education, just keep that in mind. First year is typically somewhat of a nightmare since you are still trying to get adjusted to uni-

versity. Try to prioritize as much as you can and set specific time aside to get your work done.

12

Nicole Inglis

Floor: 9 Schaffer

Position: President of the LHSA

Program: Honors Nursing

Quote: Guess I’ll die

Téa Miyanaga

Floor: ½ Schaffer

Position: SRA

Program: General Science, Majoring in Biology and Minor-

ing in Psych

Quote: The first day I lived in Lister I wrote in my journal

“I’m excited but also tired.” I would say that same feeling has remained through my time here. Remember to balance out fun with the real reason you are here: Dodgeball. Just

13

Alex Granley

Floor: 12 Schäffer

Position: Liaison

Program: Mechanical Engineering

Quote: Win or lose, we booze!

Nikki Chopra

Floor: 1 Schäffer

Position: Schäffer SRA

Program: Biosci Major, Psyc Minor

Quote: During my first year in Lister, my RAs told us that Lister is whatever you make of it. I wasn't sure

what that meant, but over the past 3yrs this advice has proven true. The more you get involved and try new things, the more you'll get out of your time in Lister.

So, don't be afraid to get out there, make friends, and play dodgeball- you can still play even if you're terri-ble like me!