David: Shaping a Godly Heart(Un)forgiven2 Samuel 16

Two ways to clean house: My way

Move the big things around and rearrange the mess.

Mary’s way Throw everything

out.

Two ways to forgive: Surface forgiving

Hide the hurts and grudges in the corners of your mind.

Deep-clean forgiving Throw the hurts

and grudges out.

List people you haven’t forgiven Recent or remote Intimates or casual

acquaintances If something bad

happened to them, you wouldn’t feel bad

We’re good at surface forgiveness – but we’re not so good at deep-clean forgiveness

Is your list getting longer? Forgiveness is not

easy It took God’s Son on

a cross for God to forgive

It was not easy for David: Absalom, civil war, return to the throne

He holds grudges

Enter Shimei

2 Samuel 16:5-8 NIV As King David approached Bahurim, a

man from the same clan as Saul's family came out from there. His name was Shimei son of Gera, and he cursed as he came out. (6) He pelted David and all the king's officials with stones, though all the troops and the special guard were on David's right and left.

2 Samuel 16:5-8 NIV (7) As he cursed, Shimei said, "Get

out, get out, you man of blood, you scoundrel! (8) The LORD has repaid you for all the blood you shed in the household of Saul, in whose place you have reigned. The LORD has handed the kingdom over to your son Absalom. You have come to ruin because you are a man of blood!"

Shimei’s got his facts wrong False accusations

David protected Saul – and avenged his death

Absalom stole the throne

David’s problems were not because of bloodshed, but because of unbridled passions

We’ve seen people like that We’ve all had to

deal with them. Men like Shimei

don’t know what they’re talking about.

They don’t know their facts – and they don’t care.

Natural reaction is to strike out 2 Samuel 16:9 NIV

Then Abishai son of Zeruiah said to the king, "Why should this dead dog curse my lord the king? Let me go over and cut off his head."

2 Samuel 16:10-12 NIV But the king said, "What do you and I

have in common, you sons of Zeruiah? If he is cursing because the LORD said to him, 'Curse David,' who can ask, 'Why do you do this?'" (11) David then said to Abishai and all his officials, "My son, who is of my own flesh, is trying to take my life. How much more, then, this Benjamite!

2 Samuel 16:10-12 NIV Leave him alone; let him curse, for the

LORD has told him to. (12) It may be that the LORD will see my distress and repay me with good for the cursing I am receiving today."

It’s tough to turn it over to God and not retaliate

When Israel rejoined the union under David, Shimei came back

2 Samuel 19:16-23 NIV Shimei son of Gera, the Benjamite

from Bahurim, hurried down with the men of Judah to meet King David. (17) With him were a thousand Benjamites, along with Ziba, the steward of Saul's household, and his fifteen sons and twenty servants. They rushed to the Jordan, where the king was.

2 Samuel 19:16-23 NIV (18) They crossed at the ford to take

the king's household over and to do whatever he wished. When Shimei son of Gera crossed the Jordan, he fell prostrate before the king (19) and said to him, "May my lord not hold me guilty. Do not remember how your servant did wrong on the day my lord the king left Jerusalem.

2 Samuel 19:16-23 NIV May the king put it out of his mind.

(20) For I your servant know that I have sinned, but today I have come here as the first of the whole house of Joseph to come down and meet my lord the king." (21) Then Abishai son of Zeruiah said, "Shouldn't Shimei be put to death for this? He cursed the Lord's anointed."

2 Samuel 19:16-23 NIV (22) David replied, "What do you and I

have in common, you sons of Zeruiah? This day you have become my adversaries! Should anyone be put to death in Israel today? Do I not know that today I am king over Israel?" (23) So the king said to Shimei, "You shall not die." And the king promised him on oath.

Abishai had one solution If your only tool is a

hammer, every problem looks like a nail

Abishai’s tool was a sword, so every problem looked like someone needed to die

Great soldier, but not a good next door neighbor

David promised forgiveness “You shall not die.”

The same words Nathan said to David when David admitted the sin with Bathsheba

Those who are most conscious of their own sins make the best forgivers

A great story, but for Act III Stories about the

life of David look at this passage and talk about the beauty of forgiveness and the need for forgiveness

But there is an Act III

Ten years later

1 Kings 2:1 NIV When the time drew near for David to die, he gave a charge to Solomon his son.

What would you say to your son who is about to take your throne?

1 Kings 2:1-4 NIV When the time drew near for David to

die, he gave a charge to Solomon his son. (2) "I am about to go the way of all the earth," he said. "So be strong, show yourself a man, (3) and observe what the LORD your God requires: Walk in his ways, and keep his decrees and commands, his laws and requirements, as written in the Law of Moses,

1 Kings 2:1-4 NIV so that you may prosper in all you

do and wherever you go, (4) and that the LORD may keep his promise to me: 'If your descendants watch how they live, and if they walk faithfully before me with all their heart and soul, you will never fail to have a man on the throne of Israel.'

1 Kings 2:8 NIV "And remember, you have with you

Shimei son of Gera, the Benjamite from Bahurim, who called down bitter curses on me the day I went to Mahanaim. When he came down to meet me at the Jordan, I swore to him by the LORD: 'I will not put you to death by the sword.'

What are you going to say? Honor my promise

to him? Be good to him? Protect him? Trust him? What were David’s

dying words?

1 Kings 2:9-10 NIV But now, do not consider him

innocent. You are a man of wisdom; you will know what to do to him. Bring his gray head down to the grave in blood." (10) Then David rested with his fathers and was buried in the City of David.

Fast forward to Solomon’s reign

1 Kings 2:36-46 NIV Then the king sent for Shimei and

said to him, "Build yourself a house in Jerusalem and live there, but do not go anywhere else. (37) The day you leave and cross the Kidron Valley, you can be sure you will die; your blood will be on your own head."

1 Kings 2:36-46 NIV (38) Shimei answered the king, "What

you say is good. Your servant will do as my lord the king has said." And Shimei stayed in Jerusalem for a long time. (39) But three years later, two of Shimei's slaves ran off to Achish son of Maacah, king of Gath, and Shimei was told, "Your slaves are in Gath."

1 Kings 2:36-46 NIV (40) At this, he saddled his donkey and

went to Achish at Gath in search of his slaves. So Shimei went away and brought the slaves back from Gath. (41) When Solomon was told that Shimei had gone from Jerusalem to Gath and had returned, (42) the king summoned Shimei and said to him,

1 Kings 2:36-46 NIV "Did I not make you swear by the

LORD and warn you, 'On the day you leave to go anywhere else, you can be sure you will die'? At that time you said to me, 'What you say is good. I will obey.' (43) Why then did you not keep your oath to the LORD and obey the command I gave you?"

1 Kings 2:36-46 NIV (44) The king also said to Shimei,

"You know in your heart all the wrong you did to my father David. Now the LORD will repay you for your wrongdoing. (45) But King Solomon will be blessed, and David's throne will remain secure before the LORD forever."

1 Kings 2:36-46 NIV (46) Then the king gave the order to

Benaiah son of Jehoiada, and he went out and struck Shimei down and killed him. The kingdom was now firmly established in Solomon's hands.

13 years after “forgiveness” Something less than forgiveness As troubling as David’s other faults:

Bathsheba/Uriah Failure to discipline Amnon/Absalom Pride in the size of his army (to come later)

Commentaries go to lengths to exonerate Our study shows he was human No need to try to make him look right

Sounds like “Godfather” or “Sopranos”

Worry when the boss says …

David never forgave Shimei His last words were

not a warning against subversion

Rather: “Remember what he did and see to it that he dies in his own blood.”

The king took a grudge to the grave.

He said “I’ll forgive, but I’ll never forget.”

David lived under lex talionis “An eye for an eye” The Son of David said

“Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who use you.”

You can only truly forgive when you know what Jesus did for you on the cross.

Corrie Ten Boom Family interred in

Ravensbrueck for hiding Jews.

Later toured Germany, preaching forgiveness.

In Munich, saw an SS soldier from Ravensbrueck.

Corrie Ten Boom He asked her for

forgiveness. She saw him and

wanted him dead. She tried to raise

her hand, but couldn’t.

He asked her three times.

Corrie Ten Boom She prayed “God,

please help.” Then she

envisioned Christ saying “Father, forgive”.

Only then could she say “You’re forgiven.”

Forgiveness is never easy But for those of us

who have knelt before the cross of Christ, it is possible.

If we’re going to forgive, we’re going to have to spend a lot of time asking God to help us.

Lesson 1: Ask God to help you

be less sensitive to undeserved criticism

You need a tender heart – and a thick skin.

There is no escaping people like Shimei.

Someone is going to find bad things to say about you.

Robert E. Lee Asked to give his

opinion of a fellow-officer

He said kind things “But he always

speaks ill of you.” “I know, but you

asked my opinion of him, not his opinion of me.”

Lesson 2: Ask God to help you

be more sensitive to unresolved conflict.

Look for people who have only received surface forgiveness from you.

Make it right with them, or you will never know the joy of a clean conscience.

C. S. Lewis “To be a Christian

means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you. This is hard; … how can we do it? Only, I think, by remembering where we stand, by meaning our words when we say in our prayers each night,

C. S. Lewis ‘Forgive us our

trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.’ We are offered forgiveness on no other terms. To refuse it means to refuse God’s mercy for ourselves.”

Our lists are waiting on us Don’t let them bury

grudges when they bury you

Don’t acknowledge the sermon – apply it

May God give us a fresh vision of the cross so we can do some deep cleaning.

You can’t offer what you haven’t received.