Collaboration, Not Confrontation Parents and Teachers Working Together

“COLLABORATION, NOT

CONFRONTATION”

Parents and Teachers Working Together

Respect is a Two-Way Street

7 Ways Parents & Teachers Build Partnerships

Research shows that parents and teachers build

partnerships that help children succeed when they:

• 1) Engage together in meaningful dialogue

• 2) Show mutual respect

• 3) Actively listen to one another

• 4) Collaborate on issues that affect student learning

• 5) Empathize with one another

• 6) Open themselves to learning from each other

• 7) Involve students as responsible collaborators in their

own learning• Source: http://mpricemitchell.visibli.com/share/f1VnHq ‘Parent Engagement:

A Paradigm Shift’, Marilyn Price-Mitchell.

http://mpricemitchell.visibli.com/share/f1VnHq

“Collaboration, Not confrontation”

• Global #gtchat Powered by TAGT recently held its 1st Back to School Special ~ “Collaboration, Not Confrontation …Parents and Teachers Working Together” with a guest panel of teachers who work with high ability students.

Guest Panelists

Guest Panelists

Guest Panelists

What comments serve as roadblocks to productive

parent-teacher meetings?

My child is BORED!

What the parent thinks they are saying …

• My child is not being

challenged

What the teacher is hearing …

• You’re not doing

enough to help my

child!

• You are incompetent

The result …

• “It closes the door to

communication,

immediately.”

• “Hearing this from a

parent does not help

the conference be

productive”.

What should be done on both sides …

• Teachers should request more details. Sometimes it is about kids racing through material, but resisting going deeper.

• It is important for parents to provide as much information as possible about why they feel this way.



When teachers say, “ALL children are GIFTED!”

What the parent is hearing …

• Your child does not

possess any

exceptional academic

abilities.

• “Your child doesn’t

belong in my class.”

• “If he’s so gifted, why

can’t he …”

The result …

• Parent becomes

defensive/offensive

• Emotions take over

• Communication breaks

down

• Too often damage is

irreparable

• Child may suffer

consequences

What should be said.

What parents should do …

• Educate yourselves

about giftedness

• Prepare notes to take

to conference to rebut

this statement

• Remain calm

• Realize when it’s best

to move the

conversation forward



• Mrs. Jones, being a

helicopter parent isn’t

helping!

What is a ‘helicopter parent’?

• The parent who is

always at the school

and in the classroom;

asking unnecessary

questions.

• They have 0% faith in

the teacher before

even giving them a

chance.

What is a helicopter parent?

• The parent who sends

multiple emails every

week, who ‘pops in’

after school, who

questions every

decision.

• They trust neither their

child or their child’s

teacher to do anything

right.


• The parent who ‘swoops in’ when the child is finally being challenged and they don’t make a 100% or need to work to show mastery.

• They are afraid their child will fail; they don’t let them advocate for themselves.


• A parent who doesn’t

leave the teacher the

time and energy to do

what you are asking.

What strategies have you, the teacher, used in

diffusing tense situations involving parents?

• Listen, listen, listen

• Restate what you’ve

heard & listen

• Listen for the story

behind the emotion

• Be genuine, respond

to concerns … it’s not

a power struggle; it’s a

team effort.

What strategies have you, the teacher, used in diffusing

tense situations involving parents?

• Have detailed notes

• Address issues as

soon as they happen



• Let parents know you are open to feedback.

• Remind parents that their child is a ‘work in progress’

• Remember that parents may be intense – intensity in students may come from home environment



• Focus on the student.

They are the reason

you are talking.

Sometimes people

forget this.

• Remember, we are

talking about unusual

kids; they aren’t like

other students.

What is the best way to resolve issues between teachers of

gifted students & regular education teachers? Should

parents get involved?

• Ideally, teachers need to sort it out themselves

• Teachers should sit down together. Professional discussion can diffuse tension.

• Parents should only become involved if the student is being affected.

• Parents should go to administration to avoid repercussions on their child.

What strategies can parents use to successfully

advocate for their identified gifted child with teachers

who are uncooperative?

• Talk to the teacher

directly; meet 1:1

• Focus on child’s needs

• If necessary, meet with

teacher & administrator

• If unresolved, request

change of teacher

• If principal

uncooperative, change

schools … FAST




• Ensure that your child

is doing what is

needed in class first.

• Ask specific questions

about how class is

helping student.

• Document answers in

case further action is

required.




• Consider why the

teacher is resistant ~ Is

it the extra work/effort

required to challenge

the student? Is it a lack

of belief in the label

‘gifted’? Is it personal

dislike?




• Take an advocate such

as a psychologist to

the meeting even if not

recognized by district.

• Plan in advance.

• Write down proposed

actions to be taken.




• Find ways to be

supportive of the

school; bank goodwill.

• This can result in

positive things for your

child.




• Remember that you

are modeling for your

child on how to handle

a less-than-perfect

situation.

This was a brief glimpse of what a Twitter chat has

to offer! Follow @gtchatmod on Twitter for the latest

updates on #gtchat.

Thank you to the Texas Association for the

Gifted and Talented

Education

Collaboration, Not Confrontation Parents and Teachers Working Together