COLLEGE STUDENTS SAY

THE DARNEDEST THINGS!

ONE THING IS PAINFULLY CLEAR AFTER 11 YEARS OF TEACHING

COLLEGE STUDENTS…

One thing is

WHILE THERE MAY NOT BE SUCH A THING AS A “BAD”

QUESTION…

THERE ARE SOME THINGS THAT GET ASKED OVER AND OVER

AGAIN…

…EVEN BY WELL-MEANING STUDENTS

SO IN THE TRADITION OF THE SOON-TO-RETIRE LATE-NIGHT

CELEBRITY DAVID LETTERMAN…

…I BRING YOU…

PROFESSOR CARSWELL’S TOP 10 MOST

INCREDIBLE, UNBELIEVABLE, SOMETIMES

OUTRAGEOUS, SOMETIMES WACKY

STATEMENTS/QUESTIONS FROM STUDENTS

10“That’s not fair!...That wasn’t on

the slide show!”

While having information provided on a slide show is undoubtedly helpful to the students as they follow along with the lecture for that particular day, it is important to remember that these are only a small part of the lecture. There is much in the way of context that is provided during the lecture about each specific point. Bottom line…if you rely on the slide shows alone for a study tool for your exams, your chances of succeeding in this class are very slim.

9

“I couldn’t hear you

during the lectures.”

If so, you need to sit

in the first few rows

from here on.

8

“Here’s my slip from the campus health center. Can I be excused from Tuesday’s class?”

People are known to

become ill during the

course of a semester. If

you are the type of

person who is prone to

getting sick (or having

your car break down, or

whatever), I would

suggest that you plan on

coming every day during

the semester, or you will

not succeed.

7

“I don’t like to speak up during class…I am a shy and bashful person.”

You are going to have to overcome this character trait in order to receive full participation credit. This class (and all other classes, for that matter) are training grounds for you to gain confidence in asking questions and being assertive. This will only help you in the working world, and I can assure you that not having this assertiveness will not help you in the long-term.

6

“I am on academic

probation, and I need a

___ in your class to get

off of it!”

If this is the case, you

absolutely need to sit up

in the front and come to

class every single day.

You may also need to

hire a tutor as well. Do

not expect me to bail you

out at the end of

semester out of mercy to

your situation.

5

“I have no idea how to take notes in your class.”

Everything said in this class from the podium is fair game for your exams and all class assignments. For that reason, I would hope that you are actively writing down notes from the lecture during the class period. If you have trouble taking notes, you should take advantage of some of the academic support options that are made available to you on campus. Otherwise, you will not succeed in this class.

4

“My team members never got in touch with me.”

This excuse is not going to fly in this class. If you are not receiving communications from your team members, YOU need to initiate contact with THEM. In the event that they are not responding to your e-mails, you need to contact me immediately and copy me on all future e-mails to the group. This may allow me to monitor just how engaged and active everybody is with their various team members.

3“Could you let me know how

to study for the exam?”

“Could you let me know how you test?”

Sometimes, these questions are code for “I haven’t come to class, and want to know the easiest short cuts to get a passing grade.” Bottom line, if you read your assigned readings, come to class every day, pay attention, take good notes, and avoid being distracted, you will do just fine on the exams.

2

“I was so close to a B, but

you gave me a B-.”

First and foremost, I

do not GIVE grades,

you EARN them.

Second, “close” does

not count in this

class…you either

meet or exceed the

standards and scores

set forth in the

syllabus.

1

“Is that going to be on the exam?”

Easily the most asked question every semester. The answer is very simple. Unless otherwise stated, you can count on the following things to be “fair game” for the exam:

*everything stated during class time

*all slide shows

*all reading material

*anything sent to you over E-Learning Commons (ELC)

SO TO SUM UP…

• If you follow these rules

of the road, you should

be well on your way to

enjoying the same fate

as this guy!

OTHERWISE…

You were warned…

But you didn’t listen…

Now you ain’t got…

A pot to p*** in!