Module 4Descriptive Paragraphs

Places and People

Descriptions are word pictures. Youtell how something looks, feels,smells, tastes and sounds. You needto become a sharp observer andnotice many small details so that youcan write a good word picture.

Information taken from:Butler, L. Fundamentals of Academic Writing. LongmanHogue, A. (2008). First Steps in Academic Writing. Longman.

DescriptionsThere are two keys to writing good descriptions:

1. Use space order to organize yourdescription.

2. Use lots of descriptive details.

1. Space OrderImagine that you are standing in the doorway ofyour classroom. How would you describe it tosomeone who has never seen it?

You might start at the left side of the doorway andwork around the room ending to the right side.

You might start at the front and go from front toback.

This kind of organization is called space order.

Space OrderWords

Top to bottomBottom to top

Far to nearnear to far

Right to leftLeft to right

Outside to insideInside to outside

Planning a Space Order

First decide which space order to use. Thenlist your details in that order.

Finally, make an outline by filling the missingmain details.

2. Specific Details

The second key to writing a good descriptionis to use specific details. When you describesomething you paint a picture with words.Your goal is to make your reader “see” whatyou have described. You do this by using a lotof details. The more specific you can be, thebetter your reader can see what you aredescribing.

ExamplesVague SpecificA lot of moneyA large housejogs a lotA pretty face

$500,000A six-bedroom, four-bathroom houseJogs three miles in the park every dayWarm brown eyes, shinning black hair

Topic Sentence forDescriptive Paragraphs

The topic part of a topic sentence for aparagraph of a description usually names theperson, place, or thing to be described.

The controlling idea part usually gives ageneral impression (beautiful, neat, messy,interesting, unusual, and so on)

ExamplesTopic Controlling idea

The old house looked ready to fall down.Topic controlling idea

The cave was a dangerous place to enter.Topic controlling idea

The club was full of young people having fun.

Concluding Sentence for DescriptiveParagraphs

The concluding sentence of a description may repeat theidea stated in the topic sentence.

It may also give the writer’s opinion or feeling about thetopic.

Examples:

In short, I doubt the old house will survive one more winter.

My friend and I were very happy when we got out of thecave.

To sum up, music, dancing, and flashing lights make clubsexciting and fun.

Describing a Place

A descriptiveparagraph of a placeexplains how a placelooks.

Tips for your Description

Pick a place you feel strongly about.For example, something you likevery much, or something that youdislike very much.

Try to remember as much detail aspossible about this place.

Describing a PlaceA description of place may answer some of these questions:

Where is the place?

How big is it?

How warm or cold is the place?

How does the place make you feel? Why?

What things can you see in this place?

What colors do you see?

Describing People

A descriptive paragraphof a person explains how aperson looks and his/ herpersonality.

Adjectives for DescribingPeople

Personality Physical Characteristics Happy, satisfied Relaxed Exciting Nervous Angry Serious Sad, depressed Outgoing

Big, large, tall Small, tiny, short Thin Heavy Strong, weak brown-, black-, blond-

haired Light-, dark-skinned

Describing PeopleA description of a person may answer some of thesequestions:

Who is the person?

What does the person do?

What does he or she look like?

How does the person act – how is his or herpersonality?

How does he or she make others feel?

Model ParagraphThe Shared Refrigerator

My roommate and I share a refrigerator. My roommate’s half of the refrigerator is

very neat. On the top of the shelf is a cartoon of milk, a pitcher of orange juice, and a

bottle of mineral water. There are arranged in a straight line on the shelf. On the next

shelf are cans of soda. These are carefully lined up in rows. Orange soda is in the first

row, cola in the second and lemon lime in the third. On the third shelf, he keeps dairy

foods, such as butter, cheese, eggs, and yogurt. On the bottom shelf sit plastic

containers of leftovers. These are neatly arranged by size. The large one are in the back

and the small ones are in the front. In conclusion, my roommate is an organized person,

and his half of the refrigerator really reflects his personality.

ModelSimple Outline

TITLE The Shared RefrigeratorTOPICSENTENCE

My roommate’s half of the refrigerator is very neat.

Supportingideas

a. On the top shelf is a cartoon of milk, a pitcher oforange juice, and a bottle of mineral water.

b. On the next shelf are cans of soda.c. On the third shelf he keeps dairy food such as

butter, cheese, eggs, and yogurt.d. . On the bottom shelf sit plastic containers of

leftoversCONCLUDINGSENTENCE

In conclusion, my roommate is an organized person,and his half of the refrigerator really reflects hispersonality.

Notice how this person plans her supporting ideas and addsdetails in the paragraph.

Model ParagraphMy Tall Nephew

The first thing you notice about my nephew is that he is extremely tall – six feet,

six inches tall, to be exact. His head sticks up almost a foot above everyone else’s. His

hair is short, light brown, and curly, and his eyes are blue. His nose is straight, and his

mouth curls into a smile easily and often. His casual clothes are typical of young people

everywhere: a T-shirt, and jeans. On the front of his shirt, you can read the name of his

school in read and blue letters. As your eyes move down his long legs, you notice that

his jeans are a little too short. Perhaps he can’t buy pants to fit his long legs. On his feet

he wears sneakers. Maybe his sneakers were white when they were new, but now they

are gray with age and wear. Despite his casual clothes, my nephew is not a casual

person. He stands as tall and straight as a redwood tree, and you think to yourself, “This

is a strong and confident young man.”

ModelSimple Outline

TITLE My Tall NephewTOPICSENTENCE

The first thing you notice about mynephew is that he is extremely tall.

Supportingideas

a. His headb. His clothes –topc. Jeans and legsd. His feet

CONCLUDINGSENTENCE

He stands as tall as a redwood tree andyou think to yourself, “This is a strong andconfident young man.”

Notice how this person plans her supporting ideas and addsdetails in the paragraph.