Listening EffectivelyLinda

Listening is a fundamental communication skill that effects the quality of our conversations and shapes the course of our relationships.

Listening: Creates reality Plays an important role in the enactment,

development and maintenance of a variety of social and personal relationships

One of the basic communication skills - reading, writing, speaking and listening, which is used the most

Listening

Listening is:The Process of Receiving, Constructing Meaning From, and Responding to Spoken and/or Nonverbal Messages

Click icon to add pictureAs favored by the International Listening Association,

Not being a well-trained listener Anxiety about having to listen, due

to: Undue stress about having to

absorb all of the important information Difficult or confusing material Not feeling well or under undue

stress

Challenges to effective listening

Fear of misinterpretation or not adjusting psychologicallyto what is being said

Simply not being a good listener

Challenges to effective listening

The Process of Willfully Striving to Perceive Selected Sounds that are Being Heard. Get Physically and Mentally Ready to

Attend Make Complete Shift from Speaker to

Listener Resist Tuning Out Avoid Interrupting

Attending

Get Physically and Mentally Ready to Attend

Physically – some physical actions that stimulate your senses and prepare you to perceive Create Environment

Conducive to Listening Adopt a Listening Posture Move Toward the Speaker Adopt an Upright Stance Make Direct Eye ContactGood listeners sit upright,

lean slightly forward, stop any extra movements and look directly at the speaker

Mentally – Attending is a willful act and requires mental preparation Ignore competing

stimuli Block out thoughts

passing through your mind

Avoid InterruptingLet the other person finish before you take your turn to speak

Make Complete Shift from Speaker to Listener

Resist tuning out Don’t Assume You Know What the Person is Going to Say

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bO-a-Yz4xA8&feature=related

Is the Process of Accurately Decoding a Message so that You Share its Meaning With the Speaker

Once You have Attended to and Perceived the Message Being Sent, You are Now Ready to Understand or “Make Sense” of it.

Understanding

Understanding

Identify the Speaker’s Purpose and Main Points Speaker always

looking to make some point

“What does the speaker want me to understand?”

“What is the point being made?”

Interpret Non-Verbal Clues 65% of meaning is

transmitted nonverbally

Must look at how something said, as well as, what is said to understand the message

SILENCE is the most subtle form of nonverbal communication.

Understanding

Ask Clarifying Questions – a response designed to get further information or to remove uncertainty from information already received Encourages the

Speaker to Continue Speaking

1. Be specific about the kind if information you need to increase understanding Questions to clarify the

important details Questions to clarify the

use of a term Questions to clarify the

feelings a person is expressing

Understanding

2. Deliver Questions in a Sincere Tone of Voice

3. Limit Questions or Explain that you Need to Ask Multiple Questions

4. Put the “Burden of Ignorance” on Your Shoulders

Paraphrase What You Hear

Paraphrase is an Attempt to Verify One’s Understanding of a Message by Putting it into Ones Own Words and Sharing it With the Speaker1. Content Paraphrase - conveys one’s understanding of

the denotative meaning of a verbal message.2. Feelings Paraphrase - conveys one’s understanding of

the emotional meaning behind a speaker’s verbal message.

3. Combined Paraphrase – conveys one’s understanding of both the denotative and emotional meaning behind a speaker’s verbal message.

Understanding

http://cooperativelearning.nuvvo.com/lesson/9592-seinfeld-teaches-history

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bO-a-Yz4xA8&feature=related

Link

Remembering is the Third Active Listening Process.

Remembering is the Process of Moving Information from Short-Term Memory to Long-Term Memory.

The Primacy Effect and The Recency Effect Cause Us to Forget what we Heard in the Middle of a Message.

Improve memory skills by: Repeating what was said Creating mnemonics Taking notes

FROM INTER-ACT, CHAPTER 8, PAGES 218 & 219

REMEMBERING

Mnemonics are clues of any kind that help us remember something, usually by helping us associate the information we want to remember with a visual image, a sentence, or a word.

Visual Image Associate a visual image with a word or name to help

you remember them better. Positive, pleasant images that are vivid, colorful, and three-dimensional will be easier to remember.

Mnemonic Devices

= Rosa Parks

Remembering

Acrostic (or sentence) Make up a sentence in which the first letter of each word is

part of or represents the initial of what you want to remember. The sentence “Every good boy does fine” to memorize the

lines of the treble clef, representing the notes E, G, B, D, and F. 

Acronym An acronym is a word that is made up by taking the first

letters of all the key words or ideas you need to remember and creating a new word out of them. The word “HOMES” to remember the names of the Great

Lakes: Huron, Ontario, Michigan, Erie, and Superior.

Remembering

Rhymes and Alliteration Rhymes, alliteration (a repeating sound or syllable), and

even jokes are a memorable way to remember more mundane facts and figures. The rhyme “Thirty days hath September, April, June, and

November” to remember the months of the year with only 30 days in them.

Chunking Chunking breaks a long list of numbers or other types of

information into smaller more manageable chunks. Remembering a 10-digit phone number by breaking it down

into tree sets of numbers: 555-867-5309 VS 5558675309

Method of loci Imagine placing the items you want to remember

along a route you know well or in specific locations in a familiar room or building. For a shopping list, imagine bananas in the entryway to

your home, a puddle of milk in the middle of the sofa, eggs going up the stairs, and bread on your bed.

Remembering

http://www.helpguide.org/life/improving_memory.htm

More Mnemonics…

Music - Make a song, rap, or jingle using any type of music to remember a list of items. The ABC song helps you remember your ABCs.

Names - The 1st letter of each word in a list is used to make up a name of a person or thing. Roy G. Biv = the colors of the rainbow!

Remembering

Longitude & Latitude: On a globe, N & S are long, which coincides with Longitude. There is a N in LoNgitude and an E for East in LatitudE.

Spelling-Use the spelling of a word to help you remember A PrinciPAL at school is your pal. A princiPLE you believe or follow is a rule.

How to Remember People's Names Face Association Examine a person's face discreetly when you are

introduced. Try to find an unusual feature, whether ears, hairline, forehead, eyebrows, eyes, nose, mouth, chin, complexion, etc. Create an association between that characteristic, the face, and the name in your mind. The association may be to link the person with someone else you know with the same name. Alternatively it may be to associate a rhyme or image of the name with the person's face or defining feature.

How to Remember People's Names

Repetition

When you are introduced, ask for the person to repeat their name. Use the name yourself as often as possible (without overdoing it!). If it is unusual, ask how it is spelled or where it is comes from, and if appropriate, exchange cards. Keep in mind that the more often you hear and see the name, the more likely it is to sink in. Also, after you have left that person's company, review the name in your mind several times. If you are particularly keen you might decide to write it down and make notes. Randall Randall Randall Randall Randall Randall

RandallRandall Randall Randall Randall Randall Randall

http://WWW.mintools.com/pages/article/newTIM_12.htm

Create a mnemonic for the Listening Process: Attending, Understanding, Remembering,

Critically Evaluating, Responding You may work independently or with others in

your group and then share your mnemonic with all of the members of the group

GROUP PRACTICE:

Critically evaluating is the fourth part of the Active Listening Process.

Critically evaluating is the process of interpreting what you have heard to determine how truthful, authentic, or believable the information is.

To critically evaluate information you must separate facts from inferences and/or ask probing questions.

CRITICALLY EVALUATING

Inter-Act, chapter 8, p. 220 & 221

Group Practice: Making InferencesIn your group, make inferences to answer the questions.  

Everyday after work Paul took his muddy boots off on the steps of the front porch. Alice would have a fit if the boots made it so far as the welcome mat. He then took off his dusty overalls and threw them into a plastic garbage bag; Alice left a new garbage bag tied to the porch railing for him every morning. On his way in the house, he dropped the garbage bag off at the washing machine and went straight up stairs to the shower as he was instructed. He would eat dinner with her after he was “presentable,” as Alice had often said.

What type of job does Paul work?

Describe Alice:

What relationship do Paul and Alice have?

Valerie opened up the letter from the military department. She felt the pit of her stomach drop to the bottom of the earth before she even opened it. She knew it was news about John. As she read the first line, she thought of all of the lunches she had packed him and all the nights she tucked him in his bed and warded off the nighttime monsters. The man carrying the flag put his hand on her shoulder. She thought of the day that John signed up for the military. Her tears wet the letter. She stopped reading after the first line.

What does the letter say?

What is Valerie’s relationship to John?

Making Inferences  

Making Inferences

“Tommy!” Mom called out as she walked in the front door. “Tommy,” she continued shouting, “I sure could use some help with these groceries. There was still no reply. Mom walked into the kitchen to put the grocery bags down on the counter when she noticed shattered glass from the picture window all over the living room floor and a baseball not far from there. “I’m going to kill you, Tommy!” Mom yelled to herself as she realized that Tommy’s shoes were gone.

1. What happened to the window?

2. Why did Tommy leave?

Making Inferences

Ruby sat on the bed she shared with her husband holding a hairclip. There was something mysterious and powerful about the cheaply manufactured neon clip that she was fondling in her newly suspicious palms. She didn’t recognize the hairclip. It was too big to be their daughter’s, and Ruby was sure that it wasn’t hers. She hadn’t had friends over in weeks but here was this hairclip, little and green with a few long black hair strands caught in it. Ruby ran her fingers through her own blonde hair. She had just been vacuuming when she noticed this small, bright green object under the bed. Now their life would never be the same. She would wait here until Mike returned home.

1. Why is Ruby so affected by the hairclip?

2. How has the hairclip affected Ruby’s relationship?

3. From where did the hairclip most likely come?

RESPONDING

Responding is the final part of the Active Listening process.

Responding is the process of reacting to what has been heard while listening and after listening.

Responses include back-channel cues and replies.

TYPES OF RESPONSES INCLUDE PARAPHRASING, QUESTIONS, AGREEMENT, CHALLENGES, ADVICE, AND SUPPORT.

LUIS: IT’S DIONNE’S BIRTHDAY AND I’VE PLANNED A BIG EVENING. SOMETIMES I THINK DIONNE BELIEVES I TAKE HER FOR GRANTED – WELL, I THINK AFTER TONIGHT SHE’LL KNOW I THINK SHE’S SOMETHING SPECIAL.

ANGIE: BROTHER! ANOTHER NOTHING CLASS. I KEEP THINKING ONE OF THESE DAYS HE’LL GET EXCITED ABOUT SOMETHING. PROFESSOR ROMERO IS A REAL BORE!

JERRY: EVERYONE SEEMS TO BE TALKING ABOUT THAT MOVIE ON CHANNEL 5 LAST NIGHT, BUT I DIDN’T SEE IT. YOU KNOW, I DON’T WATCH MUCH THAT’S ON THE “IDIOT BOX”.

KAELIN: I DON’T KNOW IF IT’S SOMETHING TO DO WITH ME OR WITH MOM, BUT LATELY SHE AND I JUST AREN’T GETTING ALONG.

AILEEN: I’VE GOT A REPORT DUE AT WORK AND A PAPER DUE IN MANAGEMENT CLASS. ON TOP OF THAT, IT’S MY SISTER’S BIRTHDAY, AND SO FAR I HAVEN’T EVEN HAD TIME TO GET HER ANYTHING. TOMORROW’S GOING TO BE A DISASTER.

From Inter-Act, chapter 8, p. 229 & 230

Group Practice – Responding Skills

Listening is very different than hearing To actively listen is to give meaning to what

is being said People can hear four times faster than others

can talk This gives skilled listeners time to determine

meaning and intent

Listening

http://bbll.com/ch02.html

Appreciative Listening Discriminative Listening Comprehensive Listening Critical-Evaluative Listening Empathic Listening

Types of Listening

Focus is on the enjoyment of what is being said Listener is not as focused as in other types of listening Used in casual social conversation

Appreciative Listening

Focused with goal of full understanding of what is be said

Full attention to all details: body language, verbal and nonverbal cues, facial expressions

Discriminative Listening

Focus on learning and remembering information Utilize remembering skills:

Repeating what was said Creating mnemonics Taking notes

Comprehensive Listening

Focused listening with goal to judge or evaluate how truthful, authentic, or believable the information is.

May need to listen “between the lines” Used when listening to a salesperson or to an

apology from a person that has violated your trust To critically evaluate information you must separate facts from inferences and/or ask probing questions.

Critical-Evaluative Listening

Focus of Listening on Understanding of Feelings

Therapeutic Listening Caring, Concerned, Non-Judgmental Fosters Healing “Cathartic” Non verbal responses:

Smile, Touch, Eye Contact, Expression, Posture, Nods

Empathic Listening

Lacks the physical cues of body language, voice inflection or tone

Increased potential to be misunderstand messages

Volume of messages can be potentially difficult to manage

E-mail, Texting, Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, LinkedIn, Merchantcircle

Listening in Cyberspace

Laughing out Loud

Bye for Now Oh my God

Be Right Back Rolling on Floor Laughing Thanks

E-mail, texting, Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, LinkedIn, Merchantcircle

From: mrgoodvibes@yahoo.comSubject:yo,mised the first class I was recovring from a wild party. omg It was awesomPLZ TELL ME WHAT SCHOOL SUPLIES I NEED B4 CLASS TOMORROW LBR ;)

Sample Email

Email Format Subject line: GEN 503 Open with Dr. or Professor Last Name Do use punctuation and reasonable grammar Do Not use text messaging abbreviations Close with your name

Proper Email Etiquette

Aguilar-Roca, Williams, Warrior, O’DowdTwo Minute Training in Class Significantly Increases the Use of Professional Formatting in Student to Faculty Email CorrespondenceInternational Journal for the Scholarship of Teaching and LearningVol. 3, No. 1 (January 2009)ISSN 1931-4744 @ Georgia Southern University

Give extra effort to attending and understanding

Practice critical evaluation Don’t become over dependent on

cyberspace listening Consciously choose what online information

you want to attend to

How to “Listen” in Cyberspace

Communication Tools

S Situation: Patient name, diagnosis/concerns/current condition or situation

B Background: Concise history/brief synopsis of situation or tests and/or treatments to date

A Assessment: Best Judgment of problem, concern or change in condition. What do you think is going on with the patient or situation?

R Recommendation: What action are you requesting? What do you want to happen next? (e.g. come to see patient now, discussion with family, follow-up call, when to call back…)

Error Prevention Tools STAR Stop Think Act

Review Communicate Clearly Three-way repeat back &

read back Phonetic & Numeric

Clarifications Speak up for Safety Question& Confirm Stop the line

Listening is a process of Receiving, Constructing meaning from, and Responding to spoken and/or nonverbal messages

Active Listening consists of Attending, Understanding, Remembering, Critically Evaluating, and Responding.

Five types of listening are Appreciative, Discriminative, Comprehensive, Critical-Evaluative, and Empathic Listening.

Listening skills are increasingly affected by technology and cyberspace.

Summary

“I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not

what I meant.“ (Author Unknown)

Listening Effectively

http://bbll.com/ch02.html

Questions?