Communications, Emotions, & CriticismMatthew L. Eisenhard, Psy.D.Week 5: Psychology for Business & Industry

Interpersonal Communication• INTERPERSONAL skills are built on the foundation of

your intrapersonal skills.▫ Behavior is what we say and do… ▫ Therefore - communication

is behavior.▫ Your communication style

(your behavior) affects all aspects of your professional and personal life. People will behave in a similar

way to the way you treat them.

Organizational Structure• Refers to the way management designs a firm in order to meet

their mission and goals.• Structure Determines:

▫ Who works together.▫ How communication flows.▫ What the policies, procedures, and rules will be.

• Current Structural Trends:▫ Organizations are redesigning their processes.▫ “Streamlining” is taking place (getting rid of layers of management).▫ Going to team-based structures.▫ Making being a team-player more important than ever.▫ Multinational Companies (MNC’s) have many companies within their

structure – called Business Units (BU’s) – creating M-Form structures that focus on particular products, customers, or geographies.

Principles of Organization• In order to design a successful organization you must determine

the following:▫ What the division of labor is– how are jobs sub-divided.

And departmentalization - grouping related activities into units.

▫ What the chain of command is- who is accountable to who.▫ What the span of management is – how many workers are

under each management position.▫ Where the decisions are finalized – who is the final

authority – where does the buck stop – is it… Centralized – top management makes the decisions, or… Decentralized – lower-level management makes decisions.

▫ How you coordinate it to all work together in a smooth system.

Organizational Communication• Is the compounded interpersonal communication across the

whole organization.▫ VERTICAL COMMUNICATION (FORMAL)

Up and down the chain of command . Downward = upper level tells lower level management what

to do. Upward = lower levels send messages to upper level – it is

vital to success of business.▫ HORIZONTAL COMMUNICATION (LATERAL)

Information flow between coworkers & peers.▫ GRAPEVINE COMMUNICATION

Informal flow of information thru the whole org. Gossip/rumors and inaccurate reports are a danger. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LImUb_yf_ps

Digital Information Technology• New communication technologies have changed the way we

communicate in our professional and personal lives.• INTERNET, E-MAIL, TEXTING, WIRELESS

▫ Internet (www) is global connection of computer networks.▫ Accessed by computers, phones, and hand-held devices.▫ E-mail most common form of communication on the job.▫ E-mail & texting replacing the U.S. Postal system.

• E-COMMERCE, MOBILE WORKERS, M-COMMERCE▫ Business is conducted electronically – see exhibit 5-3.▫ New trend is M2M (machine to machine) connecting all digital

devices.▫ Today many people don’t work in an office – they are mobile and use

electronic devices to communicate – even laptops are outdated.▫ Mobile technology will be most influential in next 15 years –

shopping by using m-commerce devices.

Digital Information Technology

• SOCIAL MEDIA▫ Many businesses are using

FACEBOOK.▫ Politicians are too.▫ Zuckerberg’s goal is to

make it the standardized form of all communication for work and pleasure. Over 500 million users

– 35% of entire Internet population using.

• CLOUD COMPUTING▫ Any service or program

sent over an Internet connections.

▫ Enables companies to use raw computing power, storage, apps, and data from large data centers.

▫ Customer pays only for services used – cutting IT costs and upgrading.

The Communication Process

• CIRCULAR – not linear.▫ Sender encodes and transmits a message through

a selected channel to a receiver who decodes it and may give feedback.

Sending the Message• SENDER

▫ The one who starts the communication.

• ENCODING ▫ Puts the message into a form

the receiver will understand.• MESSAGE

▫ The physical form of what you want to relate. Sender’s thoughts.

• SELECT THE CHANNEL ▫ E.S.P. usually not a choice.▫ Oral – nonverbal – written.

Receiving the Message• Receiver

▫ The person getting the message (hopefully).

• Decoding ▫ The receiver’s process of

translating the message into a meaningful form.▫ We usually combine messages with other ideas and

perceptions when we are decoding.▫ We need to take the sender’s experience into consideration.▫ The message is always whatever the receiver

perceives it to be regardless of what the sender may or may not have intended.

Feedback• Responding to a message is giving feedback.

▫ The roles of sender & receiver switch back and forth in a communication process.

• It is up to the receiver to decide if feedback is needed.▫ But even silence can be feedback.

• Giving positive feedback increases performance▫ Looking for something

positive to say is always preferable to dealing in negatives.

▫ People respond to positive in a positive manner. And vice versa.

Problems with Communication• Perception - choice of words – language

▫ Semantics = choosing the right word. What a word means to one may not be the same to another.

▫ Jargon = special terms of a certain group. Also beware acronyms.

• Information overload▫ Too much information.

Like a clogged drain – nothing gets through. Tune-out time!

• Using a wrong channel▫ How you deliver the message is as important as what it is.

A wrong channel can result in a wrong message.▫ What is most effective for the situation.

Do I call – write – email – send smoke signals - or chat in person?

Problems in Receiving• Noise

▫ Internal or external – distractions interfere .

• Trust & credibility▫ How well do you know the sender?

Is this person who they say they are? – can you verify that?

▫ Do you trust them? Have they lied to you before – or do you have reason to

believe they are lying now?▫ Do you believe they know what they are talking about?

Do they present credible facts and evidence? What are their credentials? Are they an “expert”?

Problems in Receiving• Not-listening

▫ Hearing is the physical process – we assume here that the receiver can “hear.” When the receiver is deaf - how does that affect the process?

▫ Listening is much more complex. It is a mental function – not physical.

• Emotional interference▫ Emotions are by nature not logical or rational – you can’t be

objective when you are emotional. Anger – fear – sorrow – hurt – shock – happy & beyond.

▫ They can and do interfere in how someone translates an incoming message.

▫ Senders should be calm and not provoke emotions in the receivers…. (unless that is the message).

Problems in Receiving• Filtering

▫ Altering or distorting information - LYING to project a more favorable image.

• Gender▫ Gender differences can lead to miscommunications.

• Language▫ Speaking different

languages makes it difficult.• Culture

▫ So can coming from different cultures (even within the same country).

Gender Differences• Men and women talk for different reasons.• Men

▫ Talk to emphasis status – male competitiveness.

▫ Talk about “things” and “events.” The truck – the game – non-emotional subjects.

▫ Tend to want to solve problems. Feel in control – assert independence – fix it. When talking to women it’s much better to just listen and give reflective

responses.• Women

▫ Talk to create connections & develop relationships. People – feelings – emotions.

• Male – female brains are hard-wired differently.▫ One not better than the other – just different.▫ Men use about 7,000 – 10,000 words a day.▫ Women use about 20,000 – 25,000 words a day.

Cross-Cultural Differences• CULTURAL CONTEXT

▫ We all send and receive messages and evaluate behavior based on our cultural experience.

▫ HIGH CONTEXT CULTURES Rely heavily on nonverbal & subtle situational cues

more than the actual spoken word. Who you are – your place in society – reputation – are

as important (if not more so) than what is said. Spend more time building rapport & developing

relationships. A “man’s word” more than a legal contract.

▫ LOW CONTEXT CULTURES Rely more on actual words. Value more direct, get down to business style. More likely to give direct orders to subordinates. The contract is more precise & valued.

Cross-Cultural Differences• Social Conventions

▫ How soon actual business is begun over social activities. North Americans want to get

right to business. Arabs or Japanese prefer a more indirect route.

▫ How loud people talk – how close they stand.▫ How punctual people are.

Middle Easterners – talk loudly – stand closer. Americans and Japanese want punctuality. Arabs or Latin Americans think it’s okay to be late –

maybe even a show of respect.

Cross-Cultural Differences• Language, etiquette, politeness

▫ Even if you are speaking the same language there are still different usages depending on where you are.

▫ What is considered rude in one place is not in another.▫ When in Rome – do as the Romans do.

• Nonverbal communication▫ Messages that are sent without words.▫ Gestures do not cross cultures very well because we do not all

share the same symbolism.▫ But facial gestures are more universal.

Eye contact is expected in some cultures – but rude in others.▫ Touching can be a big issue.

North Americans & N. Europeans don’t like it so much.

Overcoming Cultural Obstacles• Remember we are not all the same – find out the

differences and the similarities.▫ Don’t judge someone’s actions until you understand their

culture – and what they mean by what they are doing.▫ Put yourself in the other

persons shoes – be pro-active in finding out what is expected in the culture you are interacting with.

• When in doubt – ask.• Follow the other person’s lead –

if they bow, then bow back, etc.

Planning the Message• 5 skills to help you send messages face-to-face:

▫ Develop rapport Small talk – set the receiver at ease – build relationship.

▫ State the objective It is sometimes helpful for the receiver to know what your ultimate

goal is.▫ Send the message

Give the information– be explicit – set deadlines - give plenty of time and don’t overload.

▫ Check for understanding Ask the receiver to paraphrase what you just said. Merely asking if they understand or have questions is not enough.

▫ Get a commitment and follow up Don’t just assume people are acting on your message – check in and

check up.

Checking for Understanding• FEEDBACK

▫ Is a process to verify messages.• BIGGEST MISTAKE

▫ Is asking if there “are any questions?”▫ People have a tendency NOT to ask questions.▫ Senders then assume the message was understood.▫ It often is not.

• WHAT WORKS▫ Be open and responsive and patient.▫ Be aware of nonverbal communication.▫ Ask direct questions about what you just said.▫ Ask the receiver to paraphrase what you just said.

Most Used & Least Effective Communication Skill• LISTENING IS THE COMMUNICATION SKILL WE USE

THE MOST

▫ 70 – 80 % of our waking hours are spent in some sort of communication. 9% writing – 16% reading – 30% talking. 45% listening. But it is the skill we perform the poorest.

• WHY IS THAT???

▫ Lack of training. Not typically taught in school - & not many

workshops available.

Listening: Least Effective Communication Skill• WHY IS THAT??

▫ Thinking is faster than speaking. Rate of speech = average = 125 wpm. Mental capacity to understand 400 /600 wpm. When listening to average speaker – use about 25%

mental capacity – leaves 75% of the mind to wander… and it does.

Americans perceive fast talkers (200+wpm) as more credible – smarter – and are more persuaded by them.

Alternatively other research says – slow down – people will understand you better.

So…leaves you with the choice of being more credible and convincing or being more correctly understood – depends on your agenda.

Listening: Least Effective Communication Skill• WHY IS THAT??

▫ We are inefficient at listening – not focusing – not paying attention – memory functions. After listening to a 10 min. oral presentation…

Average listener understands and retains 50%. After 48 hours – it drops to 25%. After a week we retain only about 10%. We can keep only about 5-7 bits of information in

our short term memory. After that we must commit it to long term

memory. Many things affect what we decide to save as

permanent.

Listening: Least Effective Communication Skill

• WHY IS THAT?? ▫ AGE RELATED

Listening skills diminish with advancing age. First & second graders listen about 90% of the

time. By junior high = only 44% are listening. In high school the average

drops to 28%. Senior citizens have hearing

problems that interfere.▫ IT’S HARD WORK TO LISTEN

Intense concentration over an extended period of time produces both physical and mental exhaustion.

Active Listening• Hearing what people are really saying.• Listening is one of the most

important skills you can have.• How well you listen has a major impact on your job

success and on the quality of your personal relationships, not to mention your grades.

• By becoming a better listener you can:▫ Improve your productivity, ability to influence,

persuade, and negotiate.▫ Improve management of conflict and avoid

misunderstandings.▫ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aP55nA8fQ9I

Tips for Active Listening• Pay attention

▫ Their lips are moving….• Avoid distractions

▫ Turn off the cell phone – look at the speaker.• Stay tuned in

▫ Don’t let your mind wander – don’t plan what you are going to say… just listen first.

• Do not assume and interrupt▫ Wait until you hear the whole message.

• Watch for nonverbal cues▫ Do the words match the nonverbal cues.

Tips for Active Listening• Ask questions

▫ If you don’t understand ask for clarification.

• Take notes▫ Especially needed when getting

instructions.• Convey meaning

▫ Let the speaker know when you do understand.

• Analyze – think▫ Organize and repeat in your mind

what you heard.

Tips for Active Listening• Evaluate after listening

▫ Wait until the speaker is finished before you make a judgment.

• Evaluate facts▫ Base your conclusions on facts not

opinions or generalities.• Check for understanding – paraphrase

▫ Consistently paraphrase – it is a fail-safe checking device.

• Watch for nonverbal cues▫ Again – read nonverbal for clues to

understanding.

Response Styles• ADVISING

▫ Provides: evaluation, personal opinion, direction/instruction.

▫ Don’t give advice unless you are directly asked for it.

▫ Giving it too readily tends to build undue dependence.• DIVERTING

▫ Switches the focus - a.k.a.- changing the subject.▫ Makes the sender think his/her message was not

important.▫ Sometimes a good way to avoid arguments.

Response Styles• PROBING

▫ Asking for elaboration – more information.▫ Useful to help in understanding.

• REASSURING▫ Given to be supportive of emotional messages.▫ Means “don’t worry” – you are pacifying.▫ Appropriate when the other person lacks confidence.

• REFLECTING▫ Paraphrases the message back to sender.▫ Conveys understanding and acceptance.▫ Used to be empathic – help develop strong H/R skills.

Response Styles

Situational Communication Styles• AUTOCRATIC – HIGH TASK – LOW RELATIONSHIP

▫ Take charge without input from others.▫ Demand compliance - don’t consider other options.

• CONSULTATIVE – HIGH TASK – HIGH RELATIONSHIP▫ Let others know you want something - ask for input.▫ Ask questions & show concern for others opinions – be empathic.

• PARTICIPATIVE – LOW TASK – HIGH RELATIONSHIP▫ Helpful and supportive.▫ Encourage others to give input.

• LAISSEZ-FAIRE – LOW TASK – LOW RELATIONSHIP▫ Low initiative and response.▫ Give only needed information.▫ Allow others to be in charge.

Situational Variables• When deciding the best communication style to use you

must consider:▫ TIME

Is it an emergency? Do I have time to consider others or do I need to make quick decisive action?

▫ INFORMATION Do I know everything I need to know to make decision or take an action?

Yes – autocratic may be best. Only some info – consultative may be best. None or little info – participative or laissez-faire.

▫ ACCEPTANCE You must always gauge the extent of acceptance by others. What good is to take an autocratic stance if no one complies - how can you lead

if no one follows…▫ CAPABILITY

ABILITY – What is the level of knowledge/experience – what can they do? MOTIVATION – Do they want to participate?

Understanding Emotions• We all have FEELINGS-EMOTIONS –

we can’t control what we feel…▫ They are subjective.▫ And judgment should not be placed on them…

• But we can control our BEHAVIOR.• Our emotions and feelings are revealed through our

NONVERBAL communications.▫ We may say one thing (behavior) and yet reveal a

different message through our nonverbal messages….

Nonverbals Convey Feelings• 6 BASIC - UNIVERSAL EMOTIONS…

HAPPINESSSURPRISEFEARSADNESSANGERDISGUST

Emotional Labor• Requires the expression of feeling through

desired behavior.• Emotional regulation

▫ Important for good H/R skills and job performance.▫ Management should encourage POSITIVE emotional

expression.▫ Lack of ability to control NEGATIVE emotional behavior

is contributing to an increase in workplace violence.▫ It is important to not get caught up in other peoples

emotional outbursts. If someone yells at you…don’t yell back. Meeting negativity with negativity only increases it.

Cultural Differences• Remember – what is

acceptable in one culture may not be in others.

• Emotional labor expectations vary across cultures.▫ Some cultures lack words to express certain emotions.▫ And then interpret emotional displays differently.

• In the U.S. – we are expected to SMILE and be friendly.▫ In Muslim cultures smiling is taken as a sexual attraction

– so women are discouraged from smiling at men.

Dealing with Emotional People• Remember…emotions can be a barrier to effective communication.• CALMING THE EMOTIONAL PERSON

▫ Don’t Argue, Mirror Negativity, or Belittle. Never use “put-downs.” Don’t try to make them feel guilty. These only cause more negative feelings and nothing gets resolved.

▫ Do be Empathetic and use Reflecting Statements. Use EMPATHIC LISTENING = the ability to understand and relate

to another’s situation and feelings. You don’t have to agree with them – but just try to put yourself in their

shoes. Use REFLECTIVE STATEMENTS = paraphrase feeling back to the

person – it validates their right to have their feelings. This allows the person to calm down, and then you can work on

resolving the problems.

Criticism• The act of making a

judgment, or an evaluation using specific rules of engagement.▫ Usually evokes a negative

connotation.• But CONSTRUCTIVE

CRITICISM can be very beneficial.

• We are all subject to evaluation in everything we do…. critics are everywhere! ▫ ON THE JOB▫ PERSONAL LIFE

Receiving Criticism• Getting criticized is always painful.• No one likes to have their shortcomings pointed out

(especially if they don’t think they have any!)• DO’S and DON’TS when you are being criticized:

▫ Accept that we can learn and improve from it.▫ Don’t make excuses for your behaviors.▫ Don’t be defensive or get emotional – listen.▫ Use it as a learning opportunity.▫ Even if you don’t agree with the criticism – remember

it’s how others are perceiving you.▫ Take action – make a plan to improve and share it with

your boss – it shows your initiative and intentions to improve.

Giving Constructive Criticism• The purpose of the critic is to alter/change/improve

the behavior of the person they are criticizing…▫ Punishment does not work!

Chastising – being sarcastic – bad language – brunt of bad joke….

▫ Only positive reinforcement works▫ So handing out criticism in a negative and non-

productive way can even be counter-productive.▫ Be supportive and offer suggestions and constructive

help to the person – make sure they know what type of behavior you expect to see… give specific goals.

Summary of Key Concepts▫ How communication flows through organizations.▫ The 4 steps in the communication process.▫ The 5 steps in the message-sending process.▫ How to get feedback.▫ The 3 steps in the message-receiving process.▫ 5 response styles.▫ 4 situational supervisory styles and 4 variables to

consider in selecting appropriate communication styles.