Speech151novconflict112412

What is your conflict style?(in class quiz)

What is conflict?

• An expressed struggle – Disagreement becomes verbal and nonverbal facial/gestures show aggression.

• Between at least two independent people – Conflict between members affects group members.

• Incompatible goals, scarce resources and interference – Conflict often because two people want the same thing.

• Achieving a goal- Understanding what people want helps to manage the conflict.

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Common Roots of Conflict

• Ineffective communication

• Values clashes• Culture clashes• Work policies and

practices

• Adversarial management

• Noncompliance• Competition for scarce

resources• Personality clashes


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In Effective Communication

• Ineffective communication is a major source of personal conflict

• When different people work closely together, communication breakdowns are inevitable

• First determine if the conflict is a misunderstanding or a true disagreement

• Check that you are using confirming not disconfirming communication – pg. 102 – 103


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Value Clashes

• Conflict may be due to value differences between – Generations – women and menPeople with different value priorities– More government vs. less government– Pro Life vs. Pro Choice– Death penalty vs. Life time internment.– Strong work/academic ethic vs. taking advantage of the system,

or cheating– Gay marriage/rights vs. non support of Gay marriage/rights


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Culture Clashes

• Occurs between people – from other countries – between people from different parts of the U.S.

• Work force reflects cultural diversity• Different cultural traditions can easily come

into conflict in the workplace – religion, food, clothing, etc.

• Issues range from simple to complex


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Work Policies and Practices

• Conflict may happen when organizations maintain confusing or arbitrary– Rules– Regulations– Performance standards

• Often surface when managers don’t understand that employees view policies as unfair


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Adversarial Management

• Conflict can occur when managers view employees and other managers with distrust and suspicion

• View others as “the enemy”

• Leads to a lack of respect by employees• Makes teamwork and cooperation difficult


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Noncompliance

• Workers refusing to comply with rules• Or accept fair share of workload• Makes other co-workers angry


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Competition for Scarce Resources

• Downsizing and cost cutting can lead to destructive competition for scarce resources

• When decisions are not clearly explained, workers suspect coworkers of devious tactics


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Personality Clashes

• People have differing– Communication styles– Temperaments– Attitudes – Likes and dislikes

• People may not be able to identify cause of dislike – mostly subconscious.

What is your conflict style?(From quiz)

Five Conflict Management Styles

• Dysfunctional families – Many of us grew up in families where we didn’t learn to effectively communicate in relationships, especially when it involves conflict – being assertive helps heal and reduces our stress and conflict with others.

There are five basic styles of communication: - Avoidance - Accommodation - Competition - Compromise - Collaboration


Avoidance is a style (AS) in which individuals have developed a pattern of avoiding expressing their opinions or feelings, protecting their rights, and identifying and meeting their needs. AS will: •Avoid conflict•Fall to assert themselves•Allows others to infringe on their rights•Tend to speak softy and apologeticallyIssues: •Avoidance can make conflict worse•Avoidance demonstrates lack of care or concernWhen is this style appropriate?•Can be positive, especially if the conflict is too big or emotional to resolve without help•Can give a group time to cool off – or allows group to avoid ‘hot' issues to get in the way


Accommodation is a style (ACS) in which individuals give in to avoid a major blow up or controversy. Not a bad approach, especially when conflict is pseudo or simple. ACS will:•Hope this approach makes the conflict go away•Have a high need for approval – think this will make people like them more•Give in too quickly, and doesn’t allow discussion which is often healthy for a group making decisionsWhen is this style appropriate?•Accommodating others may cause the group to make a bad decision, if more discussion isn’t allowed to happen

Five Conflict Management StylesCompetition is a style (CS) that people who have power or want more power often seek to compete with others. Often referred to aggressive. CS will:•Try to dominate others•Use humiliation to control others•Have low frustration levels•Blame others, instead of owning the issuesWhen is style appropriate?•Not always wrong to compete, if you know you aren’t wrong•Also, if group members are suggesting something illegal or inappropriate•Or, member keeps others in the group from destructive or inappropriate behavior


Compromise ‘the big C’ (CS) is style that attempts to find a middle ground – a solution that meets all needs. Issues:•You win…I win, is the best case, however at times nobody gets what they want.•Or, some lose and some win, which is expected…like a democracy. The majority win. •What can happen to the minority?


Collaboration is a style (COS) where group members work side-by-side, rather than going after power, control, or winner takes all. COS will:•View conflict has something that needs to be resolved, rather than a game where people win or lose.•COS leave personal grievances aside. Works best:•With a culturally diverse group•When group has the time to take to work through discussion, and looking all solutions to make sure everyone is happy with decision

Resolving ConflictsWhere do the styles fit?

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Dealing with Difficult PeopleCrazy - Makers

Passive Aggressive – is a style where individuals appear passive on the surface but are actually acting out anger in a subtle, indirect, or behind the scenes way. PA will:•Mutter to themselves•Use facial expressions that don’t’ match •Deny there is a problem•Become alienated from those around themPA believe:•They are weak and resentful, so I sabotage, frustrate and disrupt. •I will appear cooperative but I’m not.

Dealing with Difficult MembersRecognizing Crazy maker Behavior

• Surprise you with requests• Pressure to do something when you’re unsure• Use relationships as leverage• Isolate you from support• Shift expectations and moods

Guidelines for Creating and Sustaining Healthy Climates

• Learn to recognize and deal with Crazymakers• Try to determine the communication conflict style of your

group members.• Actively use communication to build climates• Accept and confirm others• Respect diversity in relationshipsJust as we should respect others, you need to respect,

affirm, and assert yourself!• Affirm and assert yourself• Respond constructively to criticism

Crazy makers can be managed

Don’t expect them to respond to feelings – Use statements that are factual, not emotional.Don’t let them spoil you day – One needs to emotionally

separate their identity and self-esteem from their negative behavior – Don’t take it personally!

Manage yourself in their presence • Monitor your physical and nonverbal responses. • Stay neutral – don’t show emotions show in your tone

of voice, facial expressions or gestures.• Don’t give them the “power.”

Crazymakers can be managed

Manage and communicate expectations• Don’t expect them to behave as you do.• Be clear with them about your expectations.Slow them Down – Tell them “You will get back to

them,” or “You don’t have all the information you need to make a decisions.”

Ask lot’s of questions – This will help you sort out their demands and determine what they want.

Misconceptions About Conflict

• Conflict should be avoided at all costs

• All conflict occurs because people do not understand one another

• All conflict can be resolved


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Types of Conflict

• Pseudo-conflict– People misunderstand one another

• Simple conflict– People disagree about issues

• Ego-conflict– Personalities clash


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Managing Pseudo Conflict

• Ask for clarification

• Establish supportive rather than defensive climate

• Employ active listening skills– Stop, look, listen, question, paraphrase

content, paraphrase feelings

Managing Simple Conflict

• Clarify perceptions of message• Clarify issues• Use structured problem solving approach• Focus on issues• Use facts versus opinions • Compromise• Make conflict group concern• Prioritize conflict resolution• Postpone decision


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Managing Ego-Conflict

• Don’t permit personal attacks

• Employ active listening

• Call for a “cooling off” period

• Focus on key issues

• Avoid judgment

• Use problem solving approach

• Speak slowly and calmly

• Agree to disagreeCopyright © 2012, 2009, 2006,

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What do you see?

It is a matter of perspective

• What do you see in the picture?• Some people see an eagle and a beaver, and

other things. Questions:• Why do some people see an young or old woman, beaver, or

eagle?• Is there a right way to see them?• How did you feel about those who saw it differently? The same?• Was there ever a time when you saw something one way and

some else saw it differently?

Conflict – can be a matter of perspective

• Two people can look at the same picture and see something different without either being wrong, how might this affect a conflict?

• If something is more serious such as if someone is pro life or pro choice, is there right or wrong?

• What if each person sees the situation a different way? How can they figure out a resolution to the conflict if they are both right?

The blind men and the Elephant

What did the blind men see?

• The moral of the story is that each one of us sees things exclusively within one’s point of view. We should also try to understand other people’s points of view. This will enable

us to get a proper perspective on different situations and events.

Chapter 8Encourage Supportive Communication

Different types of communication create supportive and defensive climates in personal relationships.

Interpersonal climates occur on a continuum confirming to disconfirming.

Confirming messages recognize that another person exists, acknowledge that another matters to us, and endorse what we believe is true.

Disconfirming messages deny the person’s existence, indicate the other person does not matter to us, and reject another person’s feelings or thoughts.

Rewind - Say it better!Disconfirming vs. confirming

Change evaluation to description You’re acting very immaturely. Example:“I notice that you are getting upset by this situation.”

Change certainty to provisionalism The right thing to do is crystal clearExample: “The right thing to do can be difficult to decide.”

Change strategy to spontaneity Don’t you owe me a favor from when I typed that paper for you last term? Example, “Remember the term paper I helped you with last term? Do you think you could help me out with one of my own?”

Change control orientation to problem orientation I think we should move where I have the good job offer since I earn a larger salary than you anyway. Example, “In terms of moving, what decision will make the most sense for us in terms of our financial position as well as our

relationship?

Change neutrality to empathy I can’t believe you got yourself into such a dumb predicament. Example, “This is tricky situation. Let’s see what we can do to help you address it.”

Change superiority to equality I don’t want to get involved in your disagreement. Example, “I can see where you’re coming from with this, and based on what you’ve said, it seems like it might be best to

talk with Susan directly about this issue.”

Aggression, Assertion, & Deference

Respond Constructively to Criticism

Refusing to accept criticism is likely to erect barriers or affect job performance reviews.

Seek more information - asking questions, paraphrasing what you have heard to reduce tension.

Consider the criticism thoughtfully – Is it valid?If you decide the criticism is valid, consider whether you want to

change how you act.Thank the person who offered the criticism – sometimes is disarming

and keeps the door open for communication in the future.Sometimes people are just difficult to deal with. They can be: rude,

inconsiderate, or just crazymakers. This calls for you to protect yourself.

How to Promote Honest Interaction and Dialogue

• Do not change mind too quickly

• Avoid easy conflict reducing techniques

• Seek different opinions

• Involve everyone in discussion

• Use variety of methods to reach agreement

• Expand the number of ideas using various techniques


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Be Other Oriented

• Give your idea to group

• Do not assume someone must win or lose

• Use group oriented rather than self oriented pronouns

• Avoid opinionated statements that indicate a closed mind

• Clarify misunderstandings

• Emphasize areas of agreement


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Sometimes - It’s all in how you ask?

Advice from Grade School Children

Advise from the dog!

BARK LESS! WAG MORE!

Advice for the coming week!

GROUPTHINK

“How could we have been so stupid?”

Q: Who knows where that quote came from?

GROUPTHINKA: John F. Kennedy’s response to his and his advisers

decision to invade the Bay of Pigs.The decision making process of this event and others,

such as:• Watergate, the crash of flight 173, and the Monica

scandal have been studied and identified as Groupthink

Q: Why did JFK think their actions were stupid. He and his advisors were competent and intelligent?

GROUPTHINKQ: How many of you avoid situations that

might involve conflict? Most people do not like conflict

Groupthink is the absence of conflict

Group members go along with the other group members (because they are afraid of authority or of making waves)

Group members close themselves off to input from those outside the group

Group members become paralyzed and unable to see the errors of their ways

To avoid Groupthink allow some conflict…you’ll feel better in the end

Conflict provides different ideas and points of view that if shared and discussed can

led to greater ideas and ultimately a better end.

Groupthink: Conflict Avoidance

• Is the illusion of agreement

• Type of thinking when group tries to reach consensus without critical testing, analyzing and evaluating ideas

• Results in ineffective consensus

• Too little conflict lowers quality of group decision

• Group does not take time to examine positive and negative consequences of its decision


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Symptoms of Groupthink

• Critical thinking not encouraged

• Members think group can do no wrong

• Members concerned about justifying actions

• Members apply pressure to those who do not support group

• Members believe they have reached true consensus

• Members too concerned with reinforcing leader’s beliefs


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Suggestions to Reduce Groupthink

• Encourage critical thinking

• Be sensitive to status

• Invite someone from outside group

• Assign devil’s advocate role

• Subdivide to consider potential problems & solutions

• Use technology to gather information & evaluate ideas


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Symptoms of Groupthink

• Critical thinking not encouraged

• Members think group can do no wrong

• Members concerned about justifying actions

• Members apply pressure to those who do not support group

• Members believe they have reached true consensus

• Members too concerned with reinforcing leader’s beliefs


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Consensus: Reaching Agreement Through Communication

• Consensus should not come too quickly• Consensus does not come easily• Consensus involves emphasizing areas of

agreement• Groups that achieve consensus are likely to

maintain agreement• To achieve consensus, some personal

preferences must be surrendered• Postpone decision if consensus can not be

reached


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Suggestions for Reaching Consensus:

• Keep group oriented to goal

• Be sensitive to ideas and feelings of others

• Promote honest interaction and dialogue


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Chapter 9 – Leadership 5 point exercise

1) When you think of leadership what comes to mind?2) Who do you think is a (past/recent) good leader? Why?3) Do you consider yourself a leader? Why?4) Leadership style – Do after answering the above questions.

Leadership – Chapter 11

Q: What do they have in common?

Industry/Media LeadersThe Billionaire Club

• Two-thirds of the wealthiest people in the U.S. added to their fortunes, boosting their average net worth by $400 million to a record $4.2 billion. ~ Forbes Magazine

Chapter 9 - Leaders

Definition:Behavior or communication that influences, guides, directs, or controls a group.

Dennis Gouran – suggests leadership constitutes that behavior when groups experience difficulty establishing the conditions necessary for making the best possible choices.

Chapter 9 - Leadership Studies

• Trait perspective – Historical reference only


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IntelligenceGood lookingTallEnthusiasmDominanceSelf confidenceSocial participationEgalitarianism

“The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The

last is to say thank you. In between, the leader is servant.”

Max De Pree – American Business person and writer


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Eastern Philosophy of Leadership (Lao Tsu)

“The wicked leader is he who the people despise

The good leader is he who the people revere

The great leader is he who the people say

‘We did it ourselves’.”

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• Strong leaders are great communicators not talkers• How do they communicate?• Communicate using social networks• They write blogs, articles and use the media to discuss financial

information, corporate vision and strategy• They review values and culture• They note accomplishments and celebrate progress• They also teach, encourage, inspire and motivate• They express appreciation and gratitude• They reassure and calm those around them• They are articulate and never condescending

What is a strong leader~ Forbes Magazine

Forbes - Great Leaders• Abraham Lincoln was the 16th President of the

United States, serving from March 1861 until his assassination in April 1865.

• Two minute speech in 1863 at Gettysburg in the middle of the most bloody war

• He stood where many had died to encourage Americans to fight on for the survival of representative democracy

• “Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.”

• He ended slavery in the US by signing the Emancipation Proclamation.

Greatest strengths: Determination, persistence, beliefs, and courage.

Lincoln the movie – Reviewers say it is greatest political

movie.

Forbes - Great Leaders

John Wooden, ULCA •Taught his team how to win•How to be great men•He was soft spoken, humble, but led by example•Has written many books on leadership


• George Washington, the founding father of the United States.

• Leader of the American Revolution and the first president of the U.S.

• His vision has endured more than 200 years

Greatest strengths:• Foresight• Vision• Strategic planning• His ability to lead people to success.


• Prime Minister of Britain from 1940 to 1945. • Churchill led Great Britain against the Nazi

Germany during the World War II. • He had seen the potential problem with the

Germans after WWI and wanted to Brits to engage in WWII early on, but the Brits wouldn’t.

• When Britain became desperate they called him after retirement.

Greatest traits: • Fearlessness• Determination• Unyielding perseverance• Undying devotion to his goal


• Nelson Mandela was the first S. African president elected in fully democratic elections.

• Mandela was the main players in the anti-apartheid movements in the country and served a 30 year prison sentence because of being an apartheid.

Greatest traits:• Determination to change apartheid• Persistence• Focus• And, will• No fear of being jailed.

Forbes - Great Leaders• Steve Jobs co-founded Apple Computers with Stephen Wozniak.

Under his guidance• The company pioneered a series of revolutionary technologies,

including the iPhone and iPad. Greatest Traits:1) The consummate salesman• The most visible element of Jobs’s success was his ability to convince

people that they absolutely had to have whatever it was that he had to offer.

2) The incredible judge of consumer behavior• Other companies do focus groups to ask what customers want. That

never worked for Steve Jobs, because he knew what people wanted long before they themselves knew.

3) The perfectionist• Attention to detail has long been a hallmark of Apple’s products and

much of that can be attributed to the relentless focus of Steve Jobs. Jobs pushed himself hard and everyone around him hard.

• The result was that workers were pushed to deliver things that they themselves didn’t think possible.

Functional Perspective

Task leadership – accomplishing group goals

• Initiating – Getting the group to begin the task.

• Coordinating – One of the more important leadership roles is coordinating activities and goals.

• Summarizing – Groups need someone to periodically summarize the activities.

• Elaborating – Sometimes good ideas are ignored. A good leader will focus on elaborating and focusing on a good idea.

Process leadership – Group building and maintenance• Releasing tension – Knowing

when to add humor, breaks, etc. to remove group from conflict, stress.

• Gatekeeping – Guiding discussion.

• Encouraging – Improve the morale of group can increase cohesiveness.

• Mediating – Leadership aims at resolving conflict between group members.


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Situational Perspective – Table 12.1

• Authoritarian

– Leader makes all policy decisions.

– Dictate all activity, steps, and vision.

– Work one on one with praise and criticism.

– Aloof from group.

• Democratic

– Policies are a matter of group discussion.

– Leader checks in at all times with group and follows up.

– Leader leaves decision of task to your group.

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• Laissez-Faire -- Leader participates at minimum. -- Complete freedom for group. --

Authoritian Leadership

• Adolf Hitler was extremely authoritarian. He required the population of the Third Reich to accept everything that he said as absolute law, and was able to impose a death sentence on anyone who failed to do so. Hitler was obsessed with being in control, and with being the alpha male in a rigid male dominance hierarchy.[12]

• Martha Stewart constructed her empire through her own special attention to every detail. She was meticulous, demanding, thorough and scrupulous. She flourished in her ventures and in using her authoritarian leadership style. [13]

Democratic Leadership

Consensus Takers - Leader gets input from everyone – Bill Clinton an example – Polled all and then made a decision. Other example - Dwight D. Eisenhower•Eisenhower was one of America's greatest military commanders and the thirty-fourth President of the United States.

Autocratic Leadership

• Autocratic leadership style works well if the leader is competent and knowledgeable enough to decide about each and everything.

• Authoritative is considered one of the most effective leadership styles in case there is some emergency and quick decisions need to be taken.

• Bill Gates adopted this style and has steered Microsoft toward great success. According to Bill Gates, he had a vision when he took reins of the company and then used all the resources available to make that vision a reality.

• In the personal computer workplace, many operating conditions call for urgent action, making this style of leadership effective. While Gates does not exhibit this style consistently, his success can be judged by his decision making process and the growth of the computer industry in the world. [1

Leadership Patterns

• Communication that influences, guides, directs or controls group


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Transformational Leadership

Four defining characteristics•Individualized Consideration – the degree to which the leader attends to each follower's needs, acts as a mentor or coach to the follower and listens to the follower's concerns and needs. The leader gives empathy and support, keeps communication open and places challenges before the followers.

•Intellectual Stimulation – the degree to which the leader challenges assumptions, takes risks and solicits followers' ideas. Leaders with this style stimulate and encourage creativity in their followers. They nurture and develop people who think independently. For such a leader, learning is a value and unexpected situations are seen as opportunities to learn.

•Inspirational Motivation – the degree to which the leader articulates a vision that is appealing and inspiring to followers. Leaders with inspirational motivation challenge followers with high standards, communicate optimism about future goals, and provide meaning for the task at hand. Followers need to have a strong sense of purpose if they are to be motivated to act. Purpose and meaning provide the energy that drives a group forward.

•The visionary aspects of leadership are supported by communication skills that make the vision understandable, precise, powerful and engaging. The followers are willing to invest more effort in their tasks, they are encouraged and optimistic about the future and believe in their abilities.

•Idealized Influence – Provides a role model for high ethical behavior, instills pride, gains respect and trust.


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Emergent Leadership in Small Groups

Minnesota Studies

• Leaders emerge through a “method of residues”

• Members reject dictatorial candidates

• Accepted the contender with the optimum blend of task efficiency and personal consideration


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Leadership and Self-deception in Organizations

• Leaders ignore upward communication from non-managerial members

• Leaders must solicit communication from lower-status members


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