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“So what if today were the last day of the rest of your life?”
GoalsGoals
Thought provokingThought provokingInformativeInformativePracticalPracticalFunFun
Find a quiet place in your mind.Now take deep slow belly breaths.
Skill 1
““It appears that the way people perceive the It appears that the way people perceive the world is more important to happiness than world is more important to happiness than objective circumstances.”objective circumstances.”
Ed Diener
Great wealth is not having great Great wealth is not having great possessions but few wants!possessions but few wants!
““To different minds, the same world is a To different minds, the same world is a hell, and a heaven.”hell, and a heaven.”
Ralph Waldo EmersonRalph Waldo Emerson
The Nun Study (Danner et al., 2001)The Nun Study (Danner et al., 2001) Only positive feelings predicted longevityOnly positive feelings predicted longevity
Age 85:Age 85: 90% of most cheerful quartile alive; 90% of most cheerful quartile alive; 34% of least cheerful quartile 34% of least cheerful quartile
alive.alive.
Age 94: Age 94: 54% of most cheerful quartile alive; 54% of most cheerful quartile alive; 11% of least cheerful quartile 11% of least cheerful quartile
alivealive
Two Types of People in the World The Fault FinderThe Fault Finder
““The fault-finder will find faults even in paradise”The fault-finder will find faults even in paradise”Henry David ThoreauHenry David Thoreau
Could lead to resignationCould lead to resignation
The Merit-finderThe Merit-finder
Could lead to detachmentCould lead to detachment The need to respect realityThe need to respect reality
““The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miraculous The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miraculous in the common.”in the common.”
Ralph Waldo EmersonRalph Waldo Emerson
The positive elements of being a The positive elements of being a Merit FinderMerit Finder
Well-being (Thompson, 1985)Well-being (Thompson, 1985) HealthHealth
Affleck et al. (1987)Affleck et al. (1987) Bower (1988)Bower (1988) King & Miner (2000)King & Miner (2000)
LongevityLongevity
HappinessObstacles
“We see what we look for and we miss much of what we are not looking for even though it is there... Our experience of the world is heavily influenced by where we place our attention.”
Stavros and Torres
““As a man thinkth so shall he As a man thinkth so shall he be!”be!”
Cognitive distortions By David Burns
The Ten Cognitive DistortionsThe Ten Cognitive Distortions (David Burns)(David Burns)
1.1. All-or-nothing thinkingAll-or-nothing thinking
2.2. Over-generalizationOver-generalization
3.3. Mental filter Mental filter
4. Disqualifying the positive4. Disqualifying the positive
5. Jumping to conclusions5. Jumping to conclusions
6.6. Magnifying or minimizingMagnifying or minimizing
7.7. Emotional reasoningEmotional reasoning
8.8. ‘‘Should’ or ‘must’ Should’ or ‘must’ statementsstatements
9.9. LabelingLabeling
10. Personalization and blame10. Personalization and blame
Skill 2 Skill 2
Identify ways in which you think that are Identify ways in which you think that are stress inducing or stress producing.stress inducing or stress producing.
Identify one action you can take to Identify one action you can take to promote new thoughts.promote new thoughts.
Actions:Actions:Change the Way You think!Change the Way You think!
Seek actions that promote positive attitudes.Seek actions that promote positive attitudes.Help othersHelp othersExerciseExerciseBe mindfulBe mindfulValue selfValue selfBecome empowered - Reduce helplessnessBecome empowered - Reduce helplessness
What actions can you take?What actions can you take?
Other DistortionsOther Distortions
By our nature we focus on the unique for By our nature we focus on the unique for self preservation. For survival we focus on: self preservation. For survival we focus on:
DangerDangerChangeChange
The media filters these realities to The media filters these realities to play on our inherent preferences play on our inherent preferences for the unique.for the unique.
Media bias tends to:Media bias tends to: Magnify rather than report allMagnify rather than report all
Accentuates the negative Accentuates the negative
It tends to be detached from the It tends to be detached from the greater realitygreater reality
Focuses on the negative 10% Focuses on the negative 10%
We need to remember:We need to remember:
Focus creates reality. Focus creates reality.
Change your focus and you Change your focus and you change your reality.change your reality.
Actions:Actions:Change the focus of your attention. Change the focus of your attention.
to news, art and the media!to news, art and the media!
Be more selectiveBe more selectiveLook for good newsLook for good newsQuestion the bad newsQuestion the bad newsBring balance to your use of the media.Bring balance to your use of the media.
Seek positive media and artSeek positive media and art
Seek Good NewsSeek Good News
Happiness Thoughts
A Matter of InterpretationA Matter of Interpretation
““Never let a good crisis go to waste.”Never let a good crisis go to waste.”Anne HarbisonAnne Harbison
““Things don’t necessarily happen for the Things don’t necessarily happen for the best, but some people are able to make the best, but some people are able to make the best of things that happen.”best of things that happen.”
A Matter of InterpretationA Matter of Interpretation
““A pessimist sees the A pessimist sees the difficulty in every difficulty in every opportunity; opportunity; An optimist sees the An optimist sees the opportunity in every opportunity in every difficulty.”difficulty.”
Winston ChurchillWinston Churchill
HOW MANY OF YOU HOW MANY OF YOU WORRY?WORRY?
The Nature of WorryThe Nature of WorryNon productive
thought
Same Concern
Morethought
Concern
Reoccurring thoughts
“If I always think,
what I always thought,
I will always feel
what I always felt!”
Seek Action!Seek Action!Breaking the cycle of worry can be a Breaking the cycle of worry can be a conscious action or an unconscious conscious action or an unconscious
stroke of luck!stroke of luck!
Either way an Either way an ACTION ACTION is required.is required.
Acceptance is an action
IMAGES REALITIES
The Happiness OptionThe Happiness Option
+
YOUR LIFE IS MADE UP OF:
IF YOUR IMAGE OF LIFE AND REALITY IF YOUR IMAGE OF LIFE AND REALITY OF LIFE ARE OF LIFE ARE NOTNOT THE SAME! THE SAME!
IMAGE IMAGE + + REALITY REALITY ==
YOU will be: YOU will be:
Options:Options:
Make a change…Make a change…You have choices:You have choices:
You can change your image to You can change your image to match your reality!match your reality!
New Image + Reality = HAPPYNew Image + Reality = HAPPY
ACCEPT the dog you have!
You can change your reality to You can change your reality to match your imagematch your image! !
Image + New Reality =Image + New Reality = HAPPY HAPPY
Option find the NEW DOG Option find the NEW DOG YOU REALLY WANT!YOU REALLY WANT!
ConsequencesConsequencesOptimisticOptimistic
Hopeful Hopeful
ExcitementExcitement
DO YOU HAVE ANY DOGS IN YOUR DO YOU HAVE ANY DOGS IN YOUR LIFELIFE
YOU DON’T WANT?YOU DON’T WANT?
More Actions: More Actions: Research on GratitudeResearch on Gratitude
Emmons and McCullough (2002)Emmons and McCullough (2002) Four groups: gratitude, hassles, superior, Four groups: gratitude, hassles, superior,
controlcontrol Psychological and health benefitsPsychological and health benefits
Physiological benefits (McCraty & Childre Physiological benefits (McCraty & Childre 2004)2004)
Benefits of trait gratefulnessBenefits of trait gratefulness Maintaining freshness through mindful Maintaining freshness through mindful
focusfocus
Learning to be GratefulLearning to be Grateful
“You say grace before meals. All right. But I say grace before the concert and the opera, and grace before the play and pantomime, and grace before I open a book, and grace before sketching, painting, swimming, fencing, boxing, walking, playing, dancing, and grace before I dip the pen in the ink.”
“Gratitude has produced the most purely joyful moments that have been known to man.”
G. K. Chesterton
21 days or your money back21 days or your money backTry It!Try It!
Be mindful – stop, reflect, meditate Be mindful – stop, reflect, meditate Becoming a merit-finderBecoming a merit-finder Visualize it, feel itVisualize it, feel it Chipping away negativityChipping away negativity Nurture GratitudeNurture Gratitude Make a bucket listMake a bucket list ““Life begins when you do!”Life begins when you do!”
Summary of OptionsSummary of Options
Deep breathing Deep breathing Thought distortionsThought distortionsRituals Rituals Worry/Sleep Worry/Sleep Acceptance Acceptance Gratitude Gratitude 21 days or your money back21 days or your money back
• Danner, D., Snowdon, D., and Friesen, W. (2001). Positive emotions in early life and longevity: Finding from the nun study. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 80, 804-813.• Emmons R. A. & McCullough M. E. (2004). The Psychology of Gratitude. Oxford University Press.• Seligman, M. (2002). Authentic Happiness. Free Press.• Brother David Steindl-Rast (1984). Gratefulness, the Heart of Prayer. Paulist Press.• Wiseman, R (2003). The Luck Factor. Miramax.• Wiseman’s website: http://www.luckfactor.co.uk/
Bibliography and Recommendations