CANDIDEvoltaire

OPTIMISM

“Oh Pangloss!” cried Candide. “This is one abomination you could not have anticipated, and I fear it has finally done for me: I am giving up on your Optimism after all.” — “What is Optimism?” asked Cacambo — “Alas!” said Candide, “it is the mania for insisting that all is well when all is by no means well.” (52)

ANOTHER WORLD

“We are going to another world,” said Candide. “No doubt it must be there that all is well. For you have to admit, there is reason to blench at some of what goes on in our world, whether physically or morally.” ... “No doubt about it, the New World is the best of all possible worlds.” — “God willing!” said Cunégonde. “But I have been so horribly unhappy in my world so far, that my heart is almost sealed against hope.” — “You two do nothing but complain,” said the old woman, “but you have suffered nothing like my misfortunes, I can assure you!” (24)

WHICH IS WORSE?

...one day the old woman ventured to remark: “I should like to know which is worse: to be raped a hundred times by negro pirates, and have a buttock cut off, and run the gauntlet of the Bulgars, and be flogged and hanged in an auto-da-fé, and be dissected, and have to row in a galley — in short, to undergo all the miseries we have each of us suffered — or simply to sit here and do nothing?” — “That is a hard question,” said Candide.

“THAT IS A LOT”

“Monsieur,” said Candide to the abbé, “how many plays have been written in French?” — “Five or six thousand,” came the reply. — “That is a lot,” said Candide, “and how many of them are any good?” — “Fifteen or sixteen,” replied the other. — “That is a lot,” said Martin.

DOGES & GONDOLIERS

“But look at those gondoliers,” said Candide; “do they not sing all day long?” — “Yes, but you don’t see them at home with their wives and their squalling children,” said Martin. “The Doge has his troubles, the gondoliers have theirs. It is true that, all things considered, the lot of a gondolier is preferable to that of a Doge, but I think the difference is so slight as not to be worth arguing over.” (74)

WHY IS THE WOOL OF THIS SHEEP RED?

...he [Candide] was only grieved to be parting from his sheep, which he left to the Academy of Science in Bordeaux; they offered as the subject of that year’s essay prize the question: “Why is the wool of this sheep red?” The prize was awarded to a scholar from the North, who proved by means of A plus B minus C divided by Z that the sheep must of necessity be red, and must perforce die in due course of sheep-pox. (59)

SUPPERS IN PARIS

The supper was like most suppers in Paris: silence at first, then a confused babble in which no one can make themselves heard, followed by an exchange of largely insipid witticisms, false news, pointless argument, a little politics and a quantity of slander; there was even some talk of the latest books. (63)

ARE THEY AS MAD THERE?

“...What sort of a world is this?” sighed Candide on board the Dutch ship. — “A very mad and very abominable one,” replied Martin. — “You have been to England,” said Candide. “Are they as mad there as in France?” — “It’s a different type of madness,” said Martin. “As you know, the two countries are at war over a few acres of snow on the Canadian border, and they are spending rather more on their lovely war than the whole of Canada is worth...” (69)

“WE MUST CULTIVATE OUR GARDEN”

“You must have a vast and magnificent estate,” said Candide to the Turk. — “I have but twenty acres,” replied the Turk. “I cultivate them with my children; our work keeps at bay the three great evils: boredom, vice, and necessity.”Back on his little farm, Candide reflected deeply on the words of the Turk. He said to Pangloss and Martin: “That worthy old man seems to have created for himself an existence far preferable to that of the six kings with whom we had the honour of dining.” ... — “All I know,” said Candide, “is that we must cultivate our garden.” — “You are right,” said Pangloss, “for when man was placed in the garden of Eden, he was put there ut operaretur eum, so that he might work: which proves that man was not born for rest.” — “Let us set to work and stop proving things,” said Martin, “for that is the only way to make life bearable.” (93)

OBSCENE CANDIDE?

In 1930, U.S. Customs seized Harvard-bound copies of Candide, Voltaire's critically hailed satire, claiming obscenity. Two Harvard professors defended the work, and it was later admitted in a different edition. (http://onlinebooks.library.upenn.edu/banned-books.html)