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Life Online Workshops
Demystifying Your Child’s Life OnlineRelationship / Good Judgement / Control
Life Online WorkshopsParticipants tonight mostly wanted to focus on (Highest first): Facebook and texting Online Safety Addictive quality of video games Addictive quality of the Internet,The line between protection and
independence?
Life Online Workshops
So, in this Workshop, we will:1. Introduce ourselves (15 minutes),2. Look at some information and data (30 - 35
Minutes)3. Discuss issues you are facing and how some folks
are dealing with it (30 - 40 Minutes),4. Look at a model for how to deal with specific
situations and the mass of information with which we are bombarded (15 minutes).
• What is happening?– Screen time – Video games, social networking
(Facebook, texting...)• Why is it happening with such intensity?
– What do young people need?– Why video games give young people what
they need?– What hunger are Facebook and texting
feeding in young people?• What can you do?
A Common Sense Media study revealed:
• 85% of parents feel that the Internet poses the greatest risk to their children. Concerns included:
Predators Cyber bullying Screen time Pornography...
Areas of Concern from local parents: Safety from predators and cyber bullying, Pornography and strange subcultures that
may draw young people, What young people believe on the Internet, What their children may be revealing about
themselves in communications and profiles, Too much screen time Addictions to video games Addictions to Facebook and texting.
40% of 9 – 16 year-olds report believing all or most of what they see
onlineMedia Awareness Network
According to Media Awareness Network: Although parents may be unhappy with their
children’s virtual lives, They tend to not discuss these issues with
their children, Parents are unaware of what their children are
doing online, and Parents tend to not be present when their
children are online (22% not present with younger children and 74% not present with older children).
If I ever see you on a computer again you will be grounded until 2034
I thought I could trust
you!
You wait till your mom gets home!
What were you thinking?
It is often difficult to know what to do
How much limitation
and control are
appropriate?Block all
Access?
Won’t
Work
Web
Books
Gossip
Media
Information is coming from everywhere
• What are young people getting from video games that they need so much?
• What hunger are Facebook and texting feeding in young people?
• What do young people need?
• Then: What can you do?
FIRST: WHY?WHAT TO DO?
14 year-old Johnny, who has a choice between playing a video game and writing a story...
Fun?
WHY?
Why would Johnny rather play a video game than write a story?
Mihály Csíkszentmihályi – Flow
Attributes:• Intense concentration &
involvement• Time is distorted• Enjoyment &/or fulfillment• Clear steps and immediate
feedback• Intrinsic motivation• Balance between challenge and
skill
Why would Johnny rather play a video game than write a story?
Why would Jonny rather play a video game than write a story?
• Video Games are Flow Machines• Many screen-based activities are
designed to engender a flow experience
Trends:• The Web will be
accessible everywhere
• Not necessarily on the computer
• Media-centric• Social Media will
be the largest component of the Web
“Google no longer believes the future of the Web is on the personal computer. Instead, the company predicts most people will soon be connecting to the outside world through mobile devices.”
Google, the great disruptor, takes aim ... at everything Omar El Akkad and Lain Marlow
From Saturday's Globe and Mail Published on Friday, Jan. 08, 2010 9:32PM EST
Last updated on Sunday, Jan. 10, 2010 11:11AM EST Approximately half of children have computers in their rooms
Personal Learning Networks
Websites
Wikis
Self-Expression
Communication
Collaboration
Sharing/Collaborating
Blogs
Socializing
Texting
General Social
Networking Services
Specific Social
Networking Services
Population of Canada: 33,962,909
Canadians not yet on FacebookCanadians on Facebook (Dec, 2009)14,228,460
• Many people do not view their adolescence as a comfortable time in their lives.
• Most traditional societies did not have adolescence as we have it today.
• Anthropologist, Arnold van Gennep, coined the term “rites of passage”, and broke them down to three rites:
WHY?
A LOOK AT ADOLESCENCE?
Childhood
Separation Incorporation
Adulthood
Liminal (Limbo)• A ritual,• A journey...
RITES OF PASSAGE
Childhood Adulthood
Waiting, learning, training, preparing, and experimenting with responsibility without claiming the privileges of adulthood…
…takes a long time.
Liminal
The rite of passage
ADOLESCENCE
• According to Erik Erikson, the adolescent stage is one of crisis/opportunity around developing a sense of identity.
• Without a strong sense of identity, a person is left with role confusion, and is perhaps not ready for the crisis/opportunity required to develop intimacy.
ADOLESCENCE
“A parent is by far a child’s best compass point.”
“(O)ur children need to be attached psychologically to us until they are capable of standing on their own two feet, able to think for themselves and to determine their own direction.” Neufeld , G. (2004). Hold on to your kids. why parents matter. 1st ed.
Toronto, ON: Alfred A, Knopf Canada.
ATTACHMENT
At what point do our children have the life experience and developmental critical thinking capacity to deal with the tough decisions?
At what point can they be their own best compass for decision-making?
ATTACHMENT
“(P)eers... become (a) child's working compass point. Peers…become the arbiters of what is good, what is happening, what is important and even how the child defines who she is..”Neufeld , G. (2004). Hold on to your kids. why parents matter. 1st ed. Toronto, ON: Alfred A, Knopf Canada.
ATTACHMENT
PEER ATTACHMENT
WHY BRING UP IDENTITY SEEKING AND PEER ATTACHMENT?
• We have a society where rites of passage and future directions are not clear to young people, giving a lot of time to wait and explore identity.
• Identity is a powerful draw for adolescents.• Peer attached teens rely mostly on peers for a
sense of identity.
WHY BRING UP IDENTITY SEEKING AND PEER ATTACHMENT?
• Facebook and texting are peer attachment machines.
• It is important to the model (or filter) that we going to recommend to you for deciding on what actions to take with your child. (More on that after a discussion)
• Why is it happening with such intensity?– What do young people need?
• Flow,• Identity,• Attachment.
– Why video games give young people what they need?• Flow
– What hunger are Facebook and texting feeding in young people?• Peer attachment, • identity.
• What can you do?
Generation Mini-Gaps
• Researchers... theorize that the ever-accelerating pace of technological change may be minting a series of mini-generation gaps, with each group of children uniquely influenced by the tech tools available in their formative stages of development.
• “People two, three or four years apart are having completely different experiences with technology,” said Lee Rainie, director of the Pew Research Center’s Internet and American Life Project. “College students scratch their heads at what their high school siblings are doing, and they scratch their heads at their younger siblings. It has sped up generational differences.”
The Children of Cyberspace: Old Fogies by Their 20sBy BRAD STONE
The New York TimesPublished: January 9, 2010
A Possible Filter: What to Focus On:
If your child is younger or still adult-attached
If your child is older or is becoming peer-attached
More time & attentionLess time
& attention
