English jokes Wats d height of hope?? It is: sittin in d exam hall, holdin d question paper in hand n tellin ur self “dude,dnt worry. Exams wil get postponed!”

Rain of summer, snow of winter, grace of autumn, glory of spring, May beauty of every season give ur heart a beautiful reason 2 smile. May God suceed u in every exams of ur life. Good luck & all the best

Good FRIENDS are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget.

eXams are there, at the paper u stare; the answer is nowhere, which makes u pull ur hair. The teachers make u glare, the grades r not fair, but just like the past 20 yrs, WE DONT CARE !!

Human brain is the most outstanding object in world. It functions 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. It functions right from the time we are born, and stop only when we enter the examination hall

To be a “Good professional”, always start to study late for “Exams”. Because it teaches how to manage “Time” and tackle “Emergencies”!!

To accomplish great things, We must not only act, But also dream, Not only plan but also believe,

Exams are like Girl friends - Too many questions - Difficult to understand - More explanation is needed - Result is always fail!

A student grabbed a coin, Flipped it in the air & said, “Head, I go to sleep.” Tail, I watch a movie. If it stands on the edge I’ll study

It takes 15 trees to produce the amount of paper that we use to write one exam. join us in promoting the noble cause of saving trees. SAY NO TO EXAMS

You must be a good runner because you are always running in my mind, you must be a good thief because you have stolen my heart, and

i am always a bad shooter because I Miss You Always...

True love is like a pillow U could HUG it when u r in trouble U could CRY on it when u r in pain U could EMBRACE it when u r happy

Want True Love?

Spend Rs.50 BUY A PILLOW

Dictionary is da only place where death comes before life, success before work, & divorce before marriage. but the Best part is Friend comes before relatives :)

A true Friend is not like ',",'Rain',",' Which Rained & left away. A true friend is like ~_~AIR_~_~ Symptoms silient but always around u :) Take Care alot

May our friendship turn into silver, silver into gold, gold into diamonds... and may our diamonds be forever... Then we'll sell it OK? Fifty-Fifty

Three dreams of a man: To be as handsome as his mother thinks. To be as rich as his child believes. To have as many women as his wife suspects

Child Donkey: Mum with whom shall I play, every donkey is busy. Mother Donkey: Don't worry son, see here, this donkey will be free after reading this SMS.

Husband asks, do you know the meaning of WIFE. It means… Without Information fighting every time! WIFE says No, it means - With Idiot For Ever

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic? Stress is when wife is pregnant, Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, Panic is when both are pregnant.

GALILEO: great mind EINSTEIN: genius mind NEWTON: extraordinary mind BILL GATES brilliant mind ME: master mind YOU: oh! never mind

I have a confession to make ever since I met u its been hard for me to 4get u every night I see u in my dreams and find myself shouting GHOST GHOST !!!

Some times small things in life hurt a lot..... If u don't agree with me.... Then >>>> Try to sit on a Common Pin !!

To live this life i need a heart beat, to have a heart beat i need a heart to have a heart i need hapines and to have hapiness i need u

Wrote your name on the sands.....It got washed away,i wrote your name in air....It got blown away,so i write your name in my heart...I got heart attack!!!

Your attention please Thanks 4 ur attention. Now carry on ur work...

Hey listen...... Two people were asking Me about you, I give them ur address And cell no, They will b visiting u soon, Their names r joy n happiness.

Let me draw ur face! Dont MOVE! Nearly finished OK Done! Wanna have a look? .,|!|,. ( o)(o) ( ,)

Height of fashion? Dhoti wid zip. Height of secrecy? Blank visiting card. Height of stupidity? Looking thru a keyhole of glass door. Height of honesty?

Pregnant woman purchases 1 & a half ticket. Height of de-hydration? A cow giving milk powder. Height of timewasting? U reading the whole msg.

Friendship is the rainbow between 2 hearts sharing of 7 colors. 1.LOVE 2.SADNESS 3.HAPPINESS 4.TRUST 5.FAITH 6.SECRET 7.CARE Take Care n Have a nice day:-)

A 992 i n0279q biquT2 2m2 pni992 .2iHT 9>IiI (use mirror to read) pls dnt erase! its really interesting

This iz crime story 5 frndz lived in a room Namely MAD BRAIN FOOL NOBODY SOMEBODY 1day SOMEBODY killed NOBODY. At that time BRAIN was in bathroom, MAD called police. MAD:Is it police station? Police:Yes,wht iz the matter? MAD:SOMEBODY killed NOBODY. Police:R u mad? MAD:Yes,i"m MAD. Police:Dnt u've BRAIN. MAD:BRAIN iz in bathroom..

Police:U FOOL... MAD:No,FOOL is reading this sMs

it takes 15 trees 2 produce d amount of paper dat we use 2 write in 1 exam.join us in promoting d noble coz of saving treez.....say NO 2 exams:-)

I miss "STARS" sTARs think i m serious bUt i m joking! I miss "MOON" m00n thinks i m serious bUt im joking! I miss "U" U think i m joking but i m serious!

Medicines and friendship cure our problems. The only difference is that, Friendship don't have an expiry date.

Today is Donald Duck's birthday .... :) So wish him by sending this sms to every cartoon you know. Just like I did by sending this sms to you...

Roses r red violets r blue. Monkeys like u should kept in a zoo Don't get angry because u will find me there too. Not in a cage but laughing at you

Dear customer, U r not using ur SmS service properly.Ur sim will be deactivated soon.To avoid this,urgently

reply with a cute SmS to the sender. Sndr's watng?

3 monkeys escaped from zoo! Ist watching T.V. 2nd plays soccer n 3rd is... Not u yaar ! 3rd is eating banana.y u r always think u r a monkey

I'd love to take u out 4 dinner, make u sit beside the candle light, shower u with roses and utter those 3 magical words in ur ear "PAY THE BILL

Once Upon a Time, Something happened to me. It was the sweetest thing that ever could be. It was a fantasy, a dream come true it was the day I met you.

Love is like a cloud... love is like a dream... love is 1 word and everything in between... love is a fairytale come true... Coz I found love when I found U.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I was born beautiful, but what the hell happened to you?

Girls are like phones, we like to be held and talked too, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

We will now upgrade your brain, please wait.... Searching.... searching... still searching....

sorry, NO BRAIN found...!

Roses r red, violets r blue, Sugar is sweet, and so are u. But the roses r wilting, the violets r dead, The sugar bowl's empty and so is your head!

This sms can only be read by someone SMART, try again, again, maybe you are.. just not smart?? one more time. hey don't force it ugly!!!

Last night I wanted to send you a msg, But all I could write was, “noh ss!w !”. It didn’t make mush sense Until I read it upside down...

I'd love to ask how old you are, but unfortunately I know you can't count that high.

Who said English is easy??? Fill in the blanks with YES or NO. 1.______I don’t have Brain.… 2.______I don’t have Sense.… 3.______I am Stupid....

A physiological study has proved that all the fools, donkeys, monkeys used their thumbs to read the messages Don’t change your finger know its too late.

How to keep an idiot entertained *press down* ………………………………… How to keep an idiot entertained *press up*

FRIENDSHIP isn't how U forget but how U forgive, Not how U listen but how U Understand, Not what U see but how U feel, and not how U Let Go but how U hold on!!!

WIFE : Worries Invited For Ever

A Friendship is Sweet when its NEW.. Its Sweeter when its TRUE But Its Sweetest when the friend is like U.

Doctor : A person who cures the ills by pills, and kills by his bills.

How do you keep an idiot in suspense............?? Tell you later........

Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now... Sorry I am leaving now, I can't find a brain

A million words would not bring you back, I know, because I've tried. Neither would a million tears. I know, because I've cried.

Hey friend remember that without stupidity there can be no wisdom and

without ugliness there can be no beauty. so the world needs YOU after all!

Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together

Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards

ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction

Why were males created before females? Because you always need a rough draft before the final copy

This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog.

All day I thought of you.... I was at the zoo.

CNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama. FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this

Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.

Hi there, I'm a human being! What are you?

Brains aren't everything. In fact in your case they're nothing

I heard someone whisper your name, but when I turned around to see who it was, I notice I was alone, then I realize it was my heart telling me that I miss you.

My eyes are hurting coz I can't see U, My arms are empty coz I can't hold U, My lips are cold coz I can't kiss U but, My heart is breaking coz I'm not with U!

I need you to know our friendship means a lot - If you cry then I cry, if you laugh then I laugh.. if you jump out the window I look down then....I laugh again

True friends warm the heart, make you laugh, smile... yes, you are a true friend.

A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.

Always draw a circle around the ones you love, never draw a heart because hearts can be broken, but circles are never ending.

Memories last forever, they simply never die, true friends stay together - they NEVER say good-bye.

God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested

I believe in Angels, the ones that Heaven sends. Each day I tell those Angels, you are my best of friends.

Friendships multiply joys and divide grief.

Without humor, life sucks Without Love, Life seems hopeless. But without a friend like you, life is nearly impossible.

If you need advice, text me... if you need a friend, call me ... if you need me, come to me... if you need money........ SUBSCRIBER CANNOT BE REACHED!

It takes a minute to have a crush, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

If you can't change your mind, are you sure you still have one?

Marriage is a three ring circus: an engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffering

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

What is the thinnest book in the world? What Men Know About Women

Hindi jokes Hindi Jokes is the funniest collection of hilarious short jokes in Hindi, Hindi jokes in English and

santa banta jokes which are both entertaining to read and good timepass. Enjoy and have a jolly

time reading these best Hindi jokes and short joke collection which will give you lots of good

and happy times.

Hindi Jokes will leave you in splits and laughing out loud and will provide lots of fun time and

they are good for timepass when you are bored or providing relief from stress from everyday life

full of tension.

Hindi Jokes Teacher: OXFORD matlab kya hai?

Student: OX matlab bail, FORD matlab Gaadi. to OXFORD matlab bail gaadi

Teacher: raju, tum kis liye college aate ho?

Student: vidya ke khaatir

Teacher: toh ab so kyu rahe ho?

Student: aaj vidya nahi aayi hai sir

Pati: mere marne ke baad, kyaa tum doosri shaadi karogi?

Patni: nahi. main apni behan ki saath rahungi. aap?

Pati: main bhi tumhaare behan ke saath rahunga

1st wife: tumhaara sharaabi pati roz peekar ghar aata hai na. tum poochti kyu nahi ho.

2nd wife: main poochi thi. lekin unhone mujhe diyaa nahi.

Doctor: aap dariye mat. main hoo na.

Patient: wahi mera sabse bada dar hai doctor.

Patient: Doctor, yeh mera pehla operation hai. thoda dhyaan se karna.

Doctor: dara mat. yeh mera bhi pehla operation hai

Doctor: is dawaa ko ek hafte main poora karo aur baad main aake milo.

Patient: teek hai doctor

(ek hafte ke baad)

Doctor: dawaa khatam huaa kya?

Patient: nahi doctor.

Doctor: kyu nahi?

Patient: usme likhaa thaa ke, bottle ko hamesha bandh rakhe

Funny Hindi Jokes 1st beggar: arey, tum kyu us cinema poster ko aise gur rahe ho?

2nd beggar: main hee is cinema ka producer hoo

Beggar: 10 rupaiya dedo saab. girlfriend ko phone karni hai.

Saab ka girlfriend: dekho, bhikaari bhi apni girlfriend ko kitna pyar karta hai.

Beggar: nahi memsaab, use pyar karne ke baad hee main bhikaari ban gayaa

Maalik: arey, tune 500 saal puraani ghadi thod dee hai.

naukar: bach gaya saab, main to samjha yeh nayaa hai

Ramu: Sir, mere ghar mein TV chodke baaki sabki chori hogayi hai?

Police: chor ne sirf TV kisliye chodaa hoga?

Ramu: mujhe kya pataa sir? main us samay TV mein serial dekh rahaa thaa

Jokes in Hindi Autowaala: sorry sir, meter daalna bhool gaya.

santa: problem nahi hai. main bhi apna purse bhool aaya. chodo

Car chalaataa huaa Santa ko road mein "ACCIDENT ZONE" ka board dikhaa. isliye santa ne

sochaa:

"Yeh log accident zone mein kyu road banaate hai?"

Ek kadvaa sach :-)

Behan ki friend behan ho sakti hai,

Bhai ka friend Bhai ho sakta hai,

lekin wife ka friend wife nahi ban sakti

suma: maa, raju ne mujhe kiss de diyaa

maa: haan kya? rukho main poochti hoo.

suma: nahi maa. tum poochoge to woh nahi degaa

Paagal 1: main Taj Mahal ko kareedh loonga

Paagal 2: main use abhi bhech nahi rahaa hoo

Customer: yeh kya offer hai? TV liya to 10 kerchief free!!!

Salesman: TV serials dekhne ke baad aapki aansoo ponchne ke liye

Boy: kal maine tumhaare ghar gaya tha. lagta hai hamaari shaadi nahi hogi.

girl: kyu? pappa se mile the kya?

Boy: nahi, tumhaare behan se milaa tha

Manager: hamaare bank mein hum aapko binaa interest ke loan denge.

customer: arey, jab dena hai to thoda haste haste dona. agar dene mein interest nahi hai, to mat

do

Doctor Patient Hindi Jokes Doctor: aapko isse pehle kabhi heart attack hua thaa kya?

Patient: haa doctor, bichle baar jab aap bill diye the

Nurse: udhaas kyu baite ho sir?

Doctor: dopahar jiska operation kiya tha, woh mar gaya.

Nurse: arey woh to post mortem tha.

Doctor: to main subah kiska post mortem kiyaa tha

Patient: Doctor, kya aapko yakeen hai ke mujhe cancer hai. kyunki ek baar kisi doctor ne

cancer ka ilaaj karte the aur patient TB se mar gaya.

Doctor: gabraao nahi... agar main ilaaj karungaa to tum sirf cancer se hi maroge.

Doctor: sharaab peena haanikaarak hai. is vichaar main mujhe aapse baath karni hai.

Patient: theek hai doctor. sham ko moonlight bar mein milenge.

Doctor: aapke pati ko zyaada rest ki zaroorat hai. yeh sleeping tablets leejiye.

Wife: unko yeh kab dena hai doctor?

Doctor: yeh unke liye nahi, aapke liye hai :-)

Doctor: dekhiye, yeh bimaari khaandaani hai. aapke daadaaji se shuru hui hai.

Patient: bach gaya!!! tab aap yeh operation mere daadaaji ko hee keejiye.

Patient: Doctor, meri beti ko aajkal kuch sunaayi nahi deti hai

Doctor: kya? tumhe 5 din se bukhaar hai aur tum abhi aa rahe ho!

Wife: doctor ji, mere pati neend mein baat karna shuru kardiye hai. kya karu?

Doctor: din mein unko baat karne kaa mouka deejiye.

Doctor: roz hotel mein khaane se hee aapko ulcer hui hai?

Patient: to aaj se mein ghar ko parcel leke jaaunga

Patient: doctor, mujhe 3 mahine se khaasi hai.

Doctor: itne din kyu chup the?

Patient: chup kaun tha doctor. main to khaas rahaa tha.

Doctor: operation ke baad ab sab teek hai. tum sab kuch sun sakte ho.

Patient: aapne kuch bola kya?

Doctor: aap dariye mat. main hoo na.

Patient: aap rahenge. lekin main rahoonga kya?

Doctor: tum abhi 2 ganto main mar jaanewaale ho. kya tumhaara koi aakhri khwaaish hai?

Patient: Haanji, ek achche doctor ko consult karna hai

Hilarious Jokes in Hindi Public to Santa: us rowdy ke vajah se hum pareshaan hai. use haamare area se bhagaane ka koi

tareeka bataao?

Santa: aasaan hai, use election mein khadaa karke MLA banaa do. agle 5 saal tak woh tumhaare

area ki taraf nahi aayega.

Ramu: tum kaunsi soap use karte ho?

Banta: Main Santa Soap, Santa Paste aur Santa Shampoo use karta hoo

Ramu: wo kya international brand hai kya?

Banta: nahi, santa mera room mate hai.

Santa: tumhaara beta bilkul tumhaara jaisa hi dikhtaa hai.

Banta: dheere se bol... woh padosi ka beta hai

Santa: agar electricity nahi hota to kya hota?

Banta: raat mein candle light mein TV dekhna padta tha

Driver: Poora petrol khatam ho gayi hai. ab aage nahi bad sakte.

Santa: teek hai, gaadi reverse lo aur ghar vaapas chalo

Santa: Tumhe kyu arrest kiya gayaa hai?

banta: maine 50 rupaye ka chillar diya. isliye.

santa: usme kya galti hai?

banta: maine chillar mein do 25 rupaye ka note diyaa tha :-)

Santa: "impossible" shabd mere dictionary mein nahi hai

Banta: arey yaar, ab bataake kyaa faayda. dictionary lete samay check karlenaa thaa na

Examiner santa se: yeh kya hai? tumne khaali paper kyu diye ho?

Santa: kyunki neatness ke liye 5 marks hai, isliye

Santa: maine apni shaadi kaa aamantran patra bejaa thaa na? kyu nahi aaya?

Banta: lekin mujhe koi patra nahi milaa

Santa: arey yaar, maine usme likha thaa na. patra nahi milaa to bhi, zaroor aane ke liye!!!

Santa: bhaisaab, yahaa se mumbai kitna door hai?

Vyakti: 400 km.

Santa: baap re, mujhe aaj hi vaapas lautnaa hai. mumbai se yahaa tak kitnaa door hai?

Pati Patni Hindi Jokes Patni: swamiji ne kahaa ke swarg mein pati patni ko saath rehne nahi dete hai

Pati: isiliye usae swarg kehete hai :-)

1st Man: shaadi ke baad main lakhpati ban gaya.

2nd Man: use kyu itnaa udhaas bol rahe ho?

1st Man: usse pehle mein crorepati tha

Pati: aaj sunday hai aur aish karna. movie ke liye 3 ticket laayaa hoon.

Patni: teen kyu?

Pati: tumhe aur tumhaare maata pitaa ke liye.

Patni: agar main mar jaaungi, to aap royenge kya?

Pati: ab kya has rahaa hoo kya?

Patni: dekhoji, hamaare shantabai ki pati, usko khush rakhne ke liye, har hafte movie pe le jaate

hai. aap kyu nahi karte ho aise?

Pati: arey, maine bhi shantabai ko movie ke liye bulaaya. lekin usne manaa kardi. isme meri kya

galti hai?

Husband and Wife Hindi Jokes Wife: jab aap chashma utaarte ho, bahut handsome dikte ho.

Husband: haa dear, jab main chashma utaarta hoo, tum bhi bahut khoobsoorat dikti ho

Wife: suniye, hum is hafte poora cinema dekhenge, agle hafte poora shopping karenge.

Husband: uske baad ke hafte poora mandir jaayenge

Wife: kyu?

Husband: bheek maangne ke liye

Husband: agar operation mein mujhe kuch hua to tum us doctor se hi shaadi kar lena.

Wife: aise kyu bol rahe ho?

Husband: usse badla lene ka doosra tareeka nahi hai.

Wife: aji, koi peeche mere pair choo rahaa hai.

Husband: peeche mud ke apna chehra dikha, woh choonaa bandh kar dega

Wife: aapse milne doctorji aaye hai

Husband: mujhe bukhaar hai. unhe kal aane ke liye bolo

Husband: tum khaana bahut achchi banaati ho

Wife: tum jitna bhi maska lagaao, khaana tumhe hee banaanaa padega

School Jokes in Hindi Teacher: agar shabd pradooshan kam karna hai to kya karna hai?

Student: hamaare kaan bandh kar leni hai.

Teacher: varthamaan, bhoot aur bhavishyat kaal ke udhaaharan do

Student: Madam, kal maine aapki beti ko dekha, aaj main usse pyar kar rahaa hoo aur kal usse

shaadi karungaa.

Teacher Student School Hindi Jokes Principal: class ko der kyu pahunche?

Student: sir, gaadi puncture ho gaya tha

Principal: to tumhe bus mein aana tha

Student: socha tha sir, lekin aapki beti sunti hi nahi ha

Anpad baap: jaise bhi ho, 4 saal ka apna padaai pooraa kardiye. aage kya karoge?

Beta: ji, arrears naam ka ek course hai, use pooraa karna hai.

Teacher: tumhaare aur harish ka answers ek jaise hai. woh kaise?

Student: kyunki question ek hi tha na masterji, isliye :-)

Teacher: Tumhaara Maa kaa naam kya hai?

LKG student: Mummy

Teacher: 5 mark lekar bhi tum has kyu rahe ho?

Student: main yeh soch raha hoo ke woh 5 marks kaise mila :-)

Teacher: agar aise hee padte rahoge, zindagi mein kuch nahi banoge.

Student: jab zindagi mein kuch nahi banunga, tab main bhi ek teacher ban jaaunga sir.

Teacher: jisko kaan sunaayi nahi deta hai, aap use kya bulaate hai?

Santa: kuch bhi bulaa sakte hai. kyunki use sunaayi nahi detaa hai na.

Teacher: duniya ke sabse puraana praani kaunsi hai?

Student: zebra hai sir

Teacher: kaise:

Student: kyunki, woh black and white hai na

Teacher: tumhaara homework kyu tumhaare pitaa ke handwriting main hai?

Student: maine unka pen use kiyaa thaa sir

Teacher: bachcho, agar man se praarthanaa kare to bhagwan aapki kwaaish poora karenge.

Student: woh sab jhoot hai sir.

Teacher: kyu?

Student: agar woh sach hota to, ab tak aap doosre school chale jaate

Teacher: jeene ke liye Oxygen zaroori hai. ise 1773 mein aavishkaar kiye.

Pappu: baap re bach gaya!! agar usse pehle paida hota to main mar jaata

Teacher: Akbar kaun tha?

Student: pata nahi sir.

Teacher: padaai ke taraf dyaan do, pataa chalegaa

Student: Aap battayiye. Suresh kaun hai?

Teacher: pata nahi.

Student: apni beti ki taraf dyaan dijiye, pata chalega.

Teacher: 4+3=7 aur 5+4=9, ab tum bataao 45+5 kitna hua?

Student: Kya sir? aasaan sawaalo ka jaavaab aap de diye aur mushkil savaal mujhse kar rahe ho

Jokes in Hindi Santa: main shaadi karke khush rahna chaahtaa hoo.

Banta: arey yaar, mazaak mat karo. hasne ki mood nahi hai.

Santa apne bete ko: is baar agar exam mein fail huaa, to mujhe pitaji mat bulaana.

kuch din ke baad,

Santa: result ka kya hua?

Santa ka beta: sorry santa

Santa: main england jaane ke baare mein soch rahaa hoon.

Banta: bahut paise kharch hoga na.

Santa: nahi banta, sochne ke liye paise kyu?

Santa aur banta ko 500 ka ek note milaa.

Santa: hum ise 50-50 karlenge

Banta: baaki 400 kaa kya karoge?

Santa: kahaa gayaa thaa yaar?

Banta: girlfriend ke saath movie dekhne

Santa: kitna kharchaa huaa?

Banta: 500 Rs

Santa: itnaa huaa kya?

Banta: kya karu? uske paas itnaa hee thaa yaar

Santa: kelaa kitna hai?

Dukaanwala: 1 Rupay

Santa: 60 paise mein doge kya?

Dukaanwala: itne me to sirf kele kaa chilkaa hi milegaa

Santa: to 40 paise leke sirf kelaa dedo

Santa: padosi se hatouda maang leke aanaa zara

Banta: maangaa thaa, lekin nahi diye

Santa: log bahut laalchi bangaye hai. chalo, hamaara hatouda leke aao jaldi

Santa: police ne tumhe kyu arrest kiya?

Banta: maine purse se paise nikhaal ke kharchaa kar diyaa thaa

Santa: baap re!! is liye bhi arrest karte hai kya?

Banta: purse kisi aur kaa thaa yaar

Funniest Hindi Jokes Santa: mera beta meri baat sunta hi nahi hai

Banta: kyu? itna gamandi hai kya?

Santa: nahi. woh behara hai

Santa: tumne us aadmi ko aisa kyu maara?

Banta: usne mujhe poocha ke "Khaana khaaye kya"?

Santa: arey, bhala hi poocha hai na. phir kyu maara?

Banta: main toilet mein baita tha

Santa: mera beta raat bhar book ke saamne hee baita rahta hai.

Banta: lekin phir bhi woh fail kyu huaa?

Santa: wah book 'facebook' tha, isliye

Santa: main apni wife ko bahut pyar karta hoo. tum?

Banta: woh to tumhaari wife hai. main kaise pyar kar sakta hoo?

santa ka beta: Sirji, jab aap paath padaate ho, to mujhe mere pitaa ki yaad aati hai.

Sirji: achchi baath hai. kisliye unki yaad aati hai?

santa ka beta: unko bhi aap hi ke jaise padaana nahi aata hai.

Santa nurse se bola: aapne mera dil churaa liyaa hai.

Nurse: hmmm... maine dil churaane se pehle doctor ne aapka kidney churaa liyaa hai

Santa: shaadi ke baad tumhaari jimmedaari badgayee hai kya?

Banta: haan yaar. pehle sirf mere liye khaana pakaana tha. ab mere biwi ke liye bhi pakaanaa pad

rahaa hai.

Santa aur Wife Hindi Joke Santa: tumhaari wife kyu hamesha gussa rahti hai?

Banta: maine galti se use bola tha ki "tum gusse main bhi bahut khoob lagti ho"

Santa Banta Jokes in Hindi Santa: pappa agar main exam pass karunga to kya doge?

Pappa: ek cycle dilaadoonga

Santa: agar fail hua to?

Pappa: 10 cycle dilaaunga

Santa: woh kyu?

Pappa: padhaai bandh karke cycle shop khol lo

Santa: navy mein kaam hai. karoge?

Banta: zaroor. kya kaam hai?

Santa: jab ship beech samundar mein ruk jaata hai, to tumhe peeche se use dakhelnaa hai

Police: aapki car ki accident kaise hua?

Santa: woh to mujhe bhi pata nahi hai sir. tab main so rahaa tha?

Santa ne apna cellphone leke dentist ke pass gaya tha. kyu?

kyunki use check karna tha ke uske cell mein bluetooth hai ki nahi.

Doctor: bantaji, khaane baad neend ki goliya lee na aapne.

Banta: uff!! khaane ke baad zor se neend aa raha tha to maine goli lena bhool gaya

Santa Banta Funny Hindi Jokes Santa ka ghoda kho gayaa tha aur waha bahut khush tha

Banta: arey, tumhaara ghoda kho gaya hai aur tum khush ho? jyu?

Santa: main is liye khush hoo ke jab vo kho gaya to main uske saath nahi tha. hota to main bhi

kho jaata na!!!

Santa ki girlfriend: Ab hame jaldi shaadi kar leni chahiye.

Santa: achcha... lekin hame shaadi karega koun?

pappa: mummy kyu chup baithi hai?

santa: kuch nahi, mummy ne lipstick maangi thi, lekin maine fevistick de diya

Pappa: sunitha ko dekho, 1st class mein pass kee hai.

santa: haa, use dekhtaa rahaa to isiliye main fail ho gaya

Santa: waiter, ek coffee laana. kitna hai?

Waiter: 50 Rs.

Santa: saamnewaali dukhaan main to 50 ps hai

Waiter: woh xerox dukhaan hai sir

Santa Banta Hindi Jokes Banta: Santa, itna udhaas kyu baita hai?

Santa: yaar betting mein maine 2000 gavaa diyaa :-(

Banta: kaise?

Santa: India pe 1000 rupaiye ka bet lagaaya tha aur India ne match haar gaya

Banta: lekin 2000 kaise?

Santa: aaj us match ka highlights daale. India pe ummeed rakh ke phir 1000 dala tha.

Beta: Papa, aap engineer kaise bane?

Santa: uske liye bahut dimaag ka zaroorat padta hai.

Beta: haa pata hai, isiliye mujhe samajh mein nahi aa rahaa hai ke aap kaise engineer bane?

Boss: tumhe MS office pata hai?

Santa: agar address denge to main doond looonga sir

Santa: pata hai, bachpan mein mujhe ek bus ne zor se dakka maar diya tha.

Banta: baap re, tu mar gaya ke bach gaya?

Santa: mujhe yaad nahi hai. main tab 4 saal ka tha

Santa: sab log kyu bhaag rahe hai?

Banta: yeh race hai. jo jeetega use prize milega

Santa: agar sirf jeetnewaale ko prize milega to itne log kyu bhaaga rahe hai?