Standing by Your Children When They Dare to Be Different

www.SharonBallantine.com

Standing by your children when they dare to be different

Supporting Healthy Self Expression:

http://www.SharonBallantine.com


“Parenting with the Law of Attraction in Mind”

From Life Coach & Parenting Coach Sharon Ballantine





For some people there is nothing as important as fitting in, and for others, it is more important to stand out and

be unique.



A parent who is more concerned that their children fit in may also be

concerned about fitting in themselves. They may not want to be seen as different and they don’t want their children to be

seen as different either.



Other parents may see great value in encouraging their children to embrace all

forms of radical self expression.



We live in an ever diversifying world. There is no more or less value in

choosing to fit in or choosing to stand out, but it is useful to be comfortable doing both and it is valuable to model

this for your children.



You may perceive that your child expresses their

uniqueness with grace and ease and

your perception may be one hundred

percent correct or it may be completely

off the mark.



We are all limited by our perception and no matter what the truth may be, what is

most important is that we support our children to make healthy choices as they test the waters of their own individuality.



Consider what it means to fit in and what it means to be different. Both concepts

hold meaning only in relation to context.



It is typical for children, when they are testing out their individuality, to distance themselves from their family by wearing different styles

of clothing or trying out new hairstyles.



A child of conservative parents may suddenly want to dye their

hair blue or don a mohawk. Similarly, a child of more liberal

leaning parents may decide to take an interest in a more conservative

ideology and style of dress.



The motive behind a decision to stand out or blend in, is far more important than the choice to do one or the other.



Is your child altering their style because they feel unhappy with themselves as

they are, or do they simply find pleasure in expressing themselves creatively and

trying something new?



Altering one's physical appearance can certainly make a person stand

out, but does this also imply that they no longer fit in?



The answer to that question will depend on the values of the family.



Perhaps your child subscribes to a personal style that is contrary to the

choices of the rest of the family, but all of their friends have a similar style.



It is possible that it is easier for them to rebel against the tradition of the family

than to be rejected by their circle of friends? Ideally, as a parent, you will see beneath the surface and give your child

love and support without discrimination.



Some of us hold the idea of fitting in and conforming as a deeply important

necessity. In extreme cases, it could even mean the difference between

social acceptance and ostracism or life and death.



Naturally, we want to support our children in their choices and we want

them to have healthy social relationships. We may fear that their choices will alienate them from their

peers or from society.



Embracing one's personal style or dressing differently than one's peers can take a good deal of strength and courage.



Consider how you might support your child to feel comfortable expressing their individuality through their personal style even if it is counter to what you believe is

appealing or appropriate.



If you feel the need to talk with your child about their appearance and how they are

representing themselves in the world, first, consider tuning into your own Internal Guidance System (IGS).



By tuning into your IGS first, you can distinguish what issues are coming up for you and reconcile them, and then

you can show up more fully in support of your child.



When you tune into your IGS you will become more clear and it will enable

you to be supportive in a more empowering way.



You can empower your child to tune into their own Internal Guidance

System, too, then they can determine whether they are making their own

choices from a place of personal power or as an attempt to claim it.



Supporting your children as they explore ways of expressing their individuality is an excellent way to help them develop

their self confidence.



To show your children love and resect, even when you may disagree with their aesthetic choices, will teach them to be open and accepting of themselves and others, and their world and yours will

be better for it.





“Parenting with the Law of Attraction in Mind”

From Life Coach & Parenting Coach Sharon Ballantine


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Standing by Your Children When They Dare to Be Different